Half in the Bag: Everest

October 4, 20151,177 Comments

Mike and Jay take a break while climbing Mt. Everest to talk about Everest. They are on their way up to Mr. Plinkett’s house on the top. Even though he climbed down in a recent episode to kill them. Now I guess he went back up and wants his VCR fixed! Hey! He lives up there, what do you want him to do? Stay in a motel? He can’t afford that! But he can afford to spend lots of money trying to fix a VCR to watch an old TV show from the 80’s.


Filed in: Half in the Bag

  • tOmy`

    Hottest!

    I mean first!

  • tOmy`

    “You gotta bring a little Pinot.”

    I like the spirit.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Can’t watch this right now. Maybe not even today! Nice timing, assholes.

  • Patrick Desfossé

    I hope you do a half in the bag for Sicario! It would be interesting to know your thoughts on it.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I know, right? Unfortunately they’ll talk about it for two minutes in the 2015 recap episode.

  • Adzl33t

    Skipping an animated movie again guys? You could have complained why Sandler is wasting Genndy Tratavosky skills for another Marty stu esque insert fantiction where Sandler barely learn or lose anything, and just stuff work out for himself

    Though I did had fun with Hotel Transylvania 2, but give little credit to Sandler

    Im still hopeful for an animated movie review

  • amanda_87

    Saw The Martian on Friday, would love to see it on HitB!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Thank goodness this wasnt one about The Martian, which I’m seeing today. Hooray for movies that one cares about!

  • Adzl33t

    Which would be more than all discussions of animated movies releases of 2015 and 2014

  • Wizard Phoenix

    When I saw the trailer and the storm came up only one thing came to mind-IT’S SARUMAN!

  • Adzl33t

    My review, my movie Nolan failed to do

  • tOmy`

    The first Irishman summited Mount Everest 22 years ago. Get your facts straight, you hacks.

  • mister man
  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Bonerific!

  • Boose Rolton

    I probably won’t watch this, that Shackleton documentary though…

  • Was he completely drunk?

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    ^ #socialjusticewarrior

  • Boose Rolton

    Please note: “Irishman”

  • RLMkeepitup

    Mike decided not to wear those gloves after all. The actors in everest are all yelling, they all need to cool off, permanently. It would be the icing on the cake, but there’s snow way that would happen because sequels and named actors.

  • tOmy`

    I don’t trust Keira since she sacrificed Depp. That’s Burton’s job.

  • instant relief

    Fist!

  • Percy Gryce

    This should have been the Halloween episode, what with the celebration of cannibalism and the delight in frozen dead bodies. “That’s kinda neat.” — Michael A. Stoklasa

  • RLMkeepitup

    what kinda asshole goes to climb everest when his wife is at home super pregos and emos. if anything you’d want to be by her side 😐 but i hear the phone receptions pretty good up there anyways for the purposes of even moar drama

  • tOmy`

    You just need to bring thousands feet of extension cords.

    That’s how reception works, right?

  • Hm…So many choices. What should I pick? Pre-Rec Rocket League stream or this? Hm…

  • tOmy`

    Mario.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    is that a trick question?

  • Crixxxx

    Sorry, Mike:
    24 proof liquor freezes at -6.7°C (20°F)
    64 proof liquor freezes at -23.33°C (-10°F)
    84 proof liquor freezes at -34.44°C (-30°F)

  • Booze Factor: Excellent
    Plot: Who Cares
    Effects: Abysmal
    Jokes: Laughable
    Mike and Jay: A-holes
    Fake Plinkett: Rich
    Shlock Ratio: 100%

  • Flumph

    So, 96 straight episodes with the exact same stat-line! Amazing streak going here.

  • HOW ARE YOU RLM FANBOYS GOING TO DEFEND THEM NOW WHEN THEY COMPLAIN ON TRANSFORMER EFFECTS WHILE HAVING A SET THAT LOOKS LIKE A CAT THREW UP!!!!

    #PREQUELSRULE
    #GEORGELUCASSAVEDMYCHILDHOOD
    #BOYHOODROCKS

  • Mild Mannered Misanthrope

    Remember, folks: When you’re cold, pour yourself a bourbon, it will warm you right up! You don’t even need a coat if you’re wasted enough!
    This message brought to you by the National Institute for Alcoholism

  • both

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Fuck you, I’m a tropical storm. Literally.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Excuse me but you’re arguing against Scientist Man. Whatever you say is invalid.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You ain’t no Colo Claw Fish. #Cyberbullying #PrequelShaming

  • Mild Mannered Misanthrope

    You have no idea how much work the RLM crew put into creating the illusion they’re sitting on blankets in front of a green screen.

  • It took 20000 CGI artists to render Mikes beer belly.

    #fatshaming

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Mike and Jay stole my joke!

    http://i.imgur.com/XZdvcxT.jpg

  • Mild Mannered Misanthrope

    And that is TOP DOLLAR paper mache work. This wasn’t some sub-Asylum production, where you wonder where they spent the money, cutting and gluing together a few National Equirers. No, they shredded and glued together a Forbes magazine, and all the work they did is onscreen.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    More like #OccupationShaming

  • Crixxxx

    I don’t see no lab coat.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You can’t smell the booze on both of them?

  • Sue and get 10%.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You mean Susan Bauman?

  • Agilemind

    Mike’s wrong about Shackleton having the worst exploration/disaster story, because enough of them made it back that we actually know about it (and a fascinating tale it is). Franklin’s expedition went so badly they didn’t find his ship until last year.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I don’t ever want them to break up but Mike’s solo singer-songwriter career needs to happen.

  • TapewormBike

    Man, I bet he was pissed.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Mike Stoklasa should be nominated for the most pointless Oscar for his rendition of Let it Go.

  • Hilary Manfat

    There was actually a TV movie based on Shackleton, starring Kenneth Branagh, that was pretty decent. Hard to “track down”, but worth looking for…. If anyone’s interested?

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    “I really like that they had none of the usual ‘We Did It’ clichés.” – Jay, on EVEREST.

    Hm, that’ll make his review of THE MARTIAN very interesting.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    It occurred to me that Batman and/or Superman v. The Terminator would be something that was relevant to my interests. Hollywood would fuck it up, but the concept would be enough to hold my interest until then.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    He will be fine with it because the movie doesn’t take itself very seriously. He’s also a Ridley Scott fanboy. If you gave Prometheus a thumbs up you should have zero fucking problems with The Martian.

  • Alex Lee

    Yes.

  • thatdouchewhodontlikeyourplaye

    Mike wasn’t even pouring booze into his cup in the last shot. And that hackfraud calls himself a drunk? Pathetic.

  • RLMkeepitup

    depends on how bad batfleck vs. superboy does

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Pick a snow flake to follow, when it cuts between Mike and Jay the snowflake remains in the same spot on the same trajectory. I don’t think they’re really on Mt. Everest. They must have went to some really crazy Mountain where reality warps.

  • Adzl33t

    They should have review Hotel Transylvania 2 for more Sandler bashing, this maybe their most meh review they did

  • RLMkeepitup

    “Tommy Wiseau had to be fed all of his lines off camera” What is he a doggie doing tricks?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    “Hi doggie.”

  • Amontillado

    They were just a couple of hack frauds who got drunk on Everest…

  • Amontillado

    That’s a frothy statement.

  • Amontillado

    Pick sandwich.

  • Amontillado

    Bump!

  • Amontillado
  • Amontillado

    Just because Colin Farrell stumbled to the top after a bender in Paris doesn’t count. Get YOUR facts right.

  • RLMkeepitup

    hopefully they fed him some lines like those.

  • Are those Sherpas?

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    Maybe. (Although I can’t think of a movie I’ve seen recently that takes itself more seriously than THE MARTIAN. AMERICAN SNIPER?) But Jay should still have a lot of problems with giving PROMETHEUS thumbs up. Jebus!

  • They fed him lines of coke.

  • RLMkeepitup

    have you analized the 8000 moon landing photos as well? leave us believers alone!

  • Domo

    I remember sometime this past Christmas, I mailed you guys some booze, one being that bottle of Sake Mike used to get drunk with. I’ve been having a really bad weekend, and for whatever reason, seeing that empty bottle of Sake used as a prop made me a really happy camper.

    I can’t believe you keep some of this stuff around in your studio to use as props. Does the Milwaukee landfill even take some of the crap you guys try to get rid of? Do they always give back hyperdermic needles with each return?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    My little darlin’!

  • Palpatine

    Wow, Mike got old fast.

  • Amontillado

    Just visiting the RLM offices qualifies you for a liver transplant. Given how many blackouts, dark corners of the mind, hallucinations, vomiting blood, blood in stool, and seeing ghosts of haunted memories the RLM crew has had to endure, the ability to put together the set in the first place is an achievement.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “Why did Ridley Scott let his 12 year old son do the make up for Stoklasa?”

  • Amontillado

    Oh no, it’s just Rich and Josh – they’re there to make sure Mike and Jay don’t fall off the side of Everest (THEY’RE DRUNK).

  • RLMkeepitup

    good thing that wasn’t the bottle he dropped then

  • Amontillado

    Wait, Boss Nass aren’t you the guy who makes Jabba the Hut look like Keira Knightley by comparison?

  • Amontillado

    #TeamMike

  • Cream-A-Thon

    12 years?
    Thank you, try the veal!

  • Whaat? They reviewed a movie that’s not a complete disaster, nor a comic book movie nor a sequel. I’m more than fine with that.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    dude it’s been 4 years and 96 episodes of this show. If they haven’t touched an animated film by now then it means they newer will.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Unfortunately Rich got the the second of two phone calls he receives per year just as they slipped away.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    If I send Percocet do you think we’d get a Plinkett review? Also, +5 to you for enabling art & alcoholism.

  • Why yes. Yes I am.

    *grinning*

  • Domo

    Jay’s beard seems to be immune to aging, though.

    And snow.

    “Alright, Jay. We need to get more snow on you–”
    “Not. The. Beard! Spray it all over Rich Evans’ jacket instead.”
    Fiiine.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    it’s like seeing a unicorn. doesn’t happen everyday.

  • Domo

    You could probably send an entire pharmacy and we wouldn’t get a new Plinkett review.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They’ll never do animated film.

  • I still find that odd.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I would love to bang Keira nightly.

  • TapewormBike

    I could understand you being dissapointed by them not going into Inside Out, but this seems definitely like a more interesting movie than an animated blando fest.

  • Palpatine

    I want to go down to Dallas, if you know what I mean.

  • Domo

    And Mike wants to put his Dunst in Kirsten’s cunst.

    You guys should hang out together sometime! Mike’ll bring all the empty booze bottles!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Get heady with Lena

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Maybe they’ll do Charlie “I’m out of touch” Kaufman’s animated movie.

  • RLMkeepitup

    my something something docking in natalies port man

  • Palpatine

    I want to have Indominus Sex with Bryce Dallas Howard.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Give Karen her O.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    A night in Megan’s fox hole.

  • TapewormBike

    Well, if anything, it’s not a feature remake of Touching the Void. Right, Robert?

  • RLMkeepitup

    *M. night

  • RLMkeepitup
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Am I the only one that thinks Anne Hathaway isn’t annoying? I’m not saying that because I dated her or something.

  • TapewormBike

    She’s my Coke Zero actress.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Surpringsly enough she wasn’t bad as Catwoman in TDKR. However watching her interviews sends me to cringe planet. “omg I’m so quirky and upbeat” is the same shit as Jlaw’s “I’m so down to earth you guys XD” One giant fucking act.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Are you implying she wants to fuck her sister?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww

  • TapewormBike

    You know it to be true.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s creepy

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Insert Mario

  • Wizard Phoenix

    But if she was Australian it would be excusable.

  • Domo

    They remind me of high school class presidential candidates who try to win with charm and “sincerity,” while the winning candidate just gave all the voters free candy.

    You’ll never win against free candy. Ever.

  • TapewormBike

    *Freedom Candy

  • She’s fine.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    And like the class presidents she’s attractive.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    In terms of body or personality?

  • Yes. And acting.

  • Geoffrey Soul
  • Wizard Phoenix

    I got to see all it you know

  • Momojo

    Who are you, Elliott Kalan?

  • tOmy`

    As a cheerleader, I know how to win over hearts using my own candy.

  • Palpatine

    No, I think she’s a good actress, she just sucks as an Oscar host. Ugh, just thinking of that year makes me shudder.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No Hurricane Joaquin

  • tOmy`

    If you were wondering where your Patreon money go to:

    Baileys 750ml – 40$
    Bombay Sapphire – 35$
    Maker’s Mark – 23$
    Jack Daniels – 23$
    Karkov Vodka – 11$
    Sake – free if you have devoted fans, apparently
    Pinot Noir – 15$

    This list was not adjusted for inflation because I don’t know what it is.

    (I didn’t recognize the others, there could be few mistakes in the list, my own personal vice is heroin with a little bit of molly to take the edge off and shove it in my brain)

  • instant relief

    Drugs are bad for you, but that doesn’t matter anymore when you’ve taken enough.

  • tOmy`

    Drugs are okay.

    #BeASmartJunkie

  • RLMkeepitup

    they have to leave the bodies up there, on ice. and we already know the butt is the most tenderest meat. I sense a solution to this problem.

  • Joe Syxpac
  • instant relief

    #DrugsMakeMeStupid

  • Joe Syxpac

    There’s an entire mountain full of ass meat that needs to be eaten.

  • Joe Syxpac

    You lost me at v.

  • instant relief

    What a value!

    #NiceAssets #NecrophilesEverAssD

  • Joe Syxpac

    Somehow there has to be a way to make money off this.

    There’s ass in them thar hills!

  • Domo

    I.. I might have given them the Suntory Whiskey, also.

    Okay, bye!

  • Adzl33t

    I will keep up asking RedLettermedia until they do, and when is the Last Airbender Plinkett review?

  • Joe Syxpac

    You’re forgetting Transformers.

  • Trask

    Were there any actual accusations of racism/sexism regarding the Japanese lady?

  • tOmy`

    Yea, that mountain was too white.

  • Domo

    Are noisy “BWAAAAARM”s racist or sexist?

    Yes?

    Both?

  • tOmy`

    Are you sure the mountain didn’t just say “DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN”?

  • tOmy`

    I will give you my address and send you small bucket list of my feel-good medicine.

  • Domo

    “Unsubscribe”

  • tOmy`

    African children: Starving? Yes. Too hot? Yes.

    Did I just solve world hunger? Yes.

  • tOmy`

    I have this odd feeling that this comment section is getting slightly darker with every new video.

  • tOmy`

    I wouldn’t mind to facehug Sigourney’s beaver.

  • Palpatine

    You mean black people are going to start commenting?

  • Is anyone else tired of seeing Matt Damon’s face on those posters for his latest gee-whiz production? He strikes me as a retarded Boy Scout. I hear the red planet looks good in the film, however.
    Did Mike just advocate eating ass? Are we going to see that on HitB? I thought that was already ‘bravely’ portrayed on that HBO show about girls. Nevertheless, I can see the reviews now: “Kudos to RLM for injecting some much needed realism into the world of amateur A/V production. These are real hackfrauds with real bodies doing things real hackfrauds do like heavy drinking and eating ass.”

  • RLMkeepitup

    careful now if you become a hard ass your prick will get jealous. whats wrong with matt damons faaace

  • Domo

    I’m surprised no one has translated what Josh Brolin really said on the ladder over the CGI ice ledge. The whole “You’re no Sam Worthington!” bit.

    We’re worse better than that.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Happy Birthday to me, here’s some hack frauds to entertain me.

  • tOmy`

    “I hope my cellphone doesn’t fall down. It happened to me once. Hey, you there, climb over here, I’ll tell you a story about that time when I dropped my cellphone.”

  • Domo

    “That’s a really nice coat you got there, buddy. It’s not as nice as Rich Evans’ coat, but it makes your wintery beard look sexy as Hell.

    Lets get off this ladder and go get some Dunkin AlPaccinos together. Dibs on the extra whipped cream!”

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    I actually really liked the Martian, the thing is however that no actor was stand-out in it, generic male lead could have been played by any other generic male lead.

  • Cough syrup*

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Have you even met our women? Aussie women can be almost as bad as the stereotypical African-American woman.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Right-O Bill Cosby, I see where this is heading. I’m onto you, ya bastard!

  • Amontillado

    DON’T EAT ME!

  • Amontillado

    Then they are doomed.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You mean your penis?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Don’t remind me. I guess that and me going crazy is why we really broke up.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    At least he doesn’t have a purple space bazooka for some reason.

  • Amontillado

    Do the thing with a thing in somebody’s thing.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    With all the horrible Steve Jobs jokes? No, we’re not that dark.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    But I’m dating Yvonne Strahovski, Grizzly Adams.

  • dellaroccokc

    “9/11 was an inside job! 9/11 was an inside job!”

  • Why? Because you like eating raw ass? Or because Jay is oblivious to Mike’s alcohol problem?

  • Not nearly as dark as my stool.

    #nevertellthesamejoketwice

  • Wizard Phoenix

    So I have feeling when we get our next Half in The Bag they will do a fine JOB editing the video.

  • Do you think they’ll find Steve Job’s frozen body on Everest?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well we went to more sexual name puns to bad Steve Jobs puns and now back to making dark Steve Jobs jokes…but the answer is yes.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No, I’m a hurricane

  • What if they become hungry? Will they eat his body starting with the ass? I imagine it won’t have that much meat on it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well they are from Milwaukee. And we all know which serial killer is from Milwaukee.

    https://s4.mzstatic.com/us/r30/Purple/v4/f5/f5/82/f5f582ca-8b88-de2f-4f8b-5e8bdb634499/mzl.vkginptk.png

  • instant relief

    Who gave Steve hand jobs?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    -Wozniak, get a fucking job!
    -But I’m already friends with Steve.

  • Palpatine

    Plinkett lives in Teaneck, New Jersey.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh I used the wrong Plinkett. I assume the REAL Plinkett lost his house because of my friend Sandy.

  • Domo

    Decided to watch the documentary “The Endurance” on Youtube. Seems like at least 78 other RLM fans had the same idea.

    We’re all History Channel Nerd Dads. It’s great!

    http://postimg.org/image/a4mnete2n/

  • “Hey, look! Inside that crevasse! That’s a frozen body! We could it the ass if we get hungry.”

  • RLMkeepitup

    i think sandler stole a madtv skit when he came up with that joke for jack n jill

  • Palpatine

    Hey, we bounced back from that in a snap!

  • RLMkeepitup

    if its ass up please take a bite out of the apple for me

  • Someone should make a survival story about having to sit through the videos produced by these hhaaaaaaaacccckkkkkssss.

  • 79.

  • Oh is there a movie about my favorite bible story coming out soon?

  • Palpatine

    The Book of Revelation?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What about Harry? Are two still living together?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hey, look it’s Karl Urban! I loved you in Lord of The Rings! Did you get your sword back after it fell?

  • Palpatine

    The Real Plinkett is living with me after his house was destroyed by Hurricane Sandy. Me and him are like some couple that’s odd.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s like that old sitcom, Three is Enough.

  • pete smith

    talking about mountain climbing movies, Im sure you all have seen “Touching the Void” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtnqVZEktyg Fucking great one.

  • Now for the Low Low Price of $25, the “Post-AA Meeting Party Pack”
    http://redlettermedia.bandcamp.com/merch/post-aa-meeting-party-pack
    Mike, you Thirteenth Steppin’ dog!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    It should include a shirt in case yours becomes…soiled…somehow, sometime after the meeting.

  • Domo

    Your future pants are already soiled for you!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    racist.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Yes, but how do we profit from that?

    Starving African children don’t have shit for money.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Book of Judges, I would suspect.

  • frankelee

    Everest… more like Neverest!

  • Joe Syxpac

    Are you saying there aren’t enough frozen dead black people up there?

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    People tell me that I can be awfully blunt. Like, “I’d-love-to-fuck-Emily” Blunt. Know what I mean? *nudge nudge wink wink*

  • broncotruck11

    Read the description….so yeah what’s up with mr plinket going up and down this mountain all willy nillly?

  • Palpatine

    Go back and watch the previous HitB episodes you hack.

  • broncotruck11

    I have seen them all 23 times each you fraud whore!

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    The legends say that’s how he sweats out all the drugs.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    HAVE YOU BEEN NOT PAYING ATTENTION?!?

  • broncotruck11

    He went down killed jay and mike (or so he thinks) and then decided to climb 30,000 feet back up to his house?!

  • broncotruck11

    YES YOU CUNT BITCH! *topher grace voice*

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hey guys remember two months ago when that fucking awful Fantastic Four movie came out? I saw it and I don’t remember any of it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Why not Aziszis Asari’s cunt voice?

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    If you read the novelization it explains everything, or so I’m told.

  • broncotruck11

    Thanks for your input SUSAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • broncotruck11

    It doesn’t make sense.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What’s with the shouting? Are you Leonardo DiCaprio?

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Well, you know, because trade disputes and… Imperial blockade and… underwater city? Shit, I think I bought the wrong book.

  • broncotruck11

    Dude that was like 15 years ago.

  • jmt

    You forgot the snow effect at 12:00.

    I have no more hope in humanity.

    You history’s greatest monsters.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    “For relaxing times, make it Suntory time.”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “You history’s greatest monsters”
    -jmt, 2015

  • jmt

    For the record, I fixed it before you got your comment out.

  • broncotruck11

    Do know know something we dont?

  • Michael Collins

    First!

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    I didn’t see it and I remember none of it. That makes us practically brothers.

  • Palpatine

    Come on, Rose, come on!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You know know spell?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Change it back.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Look at me, I’m naht the fawkin’ rat!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!

  • Palpatine

    Nope. But I do remember stuff from Jurassic World. Mostly Bryce Dallas Howard’s cleavage.

  • Palpatine

    Open the gate!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *heaving breathing from Revenant Trailer*

  • jmt

    Make me.

  • bleurgh

    Haven’t watch the review yet, but I have seen the movie and I liked it. It definitely fell into the ‘good, not great’ category though. They managed to make a fairly compelling story out of real life events and the characters were well-realised and portrayed, probably benefitted the film that all of them are real people who’ve written extensively about their experiences so the actors would have had a lot to draw on. I also thought it was good that they never really put you completely on side with any of them. Various characters in the film are portrayed as insane, stupid, unnecessary risk-takers, naive and callous bastards at different points. The film was also had a lot of really great visual stuff in it. The negatives were I think that it wasn’t really clear what was happening during some of the blizzard scenes with the constant cutting between different characters who were at different points on the mountain. That and the inconsistent tone of the movie at times. It seemed like it wasn’t sure if it wanted to be a disaster movie, survival movie or a real-life reconstruction and occasionally strayed too far into disaster movie mode so that it seemed like the mountain had too much agency.

    SPOILERS

    Some people in the theatre I was in were devastated when Rob dies, but I personally thought he was the villain of the movie and had no sympathy whatsoever. I had more sympathy for Josh Brolins character and the Japanese woman, because they were unfortunately just caught in bad weather conditions and didn’t unnecessarily risk their lives and endanger those around them by spending too long on the mountain in spite of the weather obviously turning. Maybe if Rob hadn’t have wasted all that time scaling to the summit with Doug he would have been in a position to help them. It was undoubtedly a tragedy born out of circumstance but also worsened by his actions. I think the film was trying to convey that he made the choice out of sympathy and really wanting Doug to realise his dream, but honestly I think he did it for purely selfish financial reasons and because of his ego. Part of the pressure of him getting Doug to the summit which ultimately killed him, Doug and Scott who came to rescue him was that he hadn’t had a single tourist summit in the last couple of seasons and that was a bad look for his business.

  • bleurgh

    Was Sam Worthington in this movie, because I honestly have no recollection of him being in it.

  • bassbait

    This is possibly the most boring movie they’ve ever reviewed. I mean maybe the movie itself is good, idk I haven’t seen it, but if the movie ends up being good, then I don’t care because it’s about climbing mount everest and “based on a true story” which are pure poison for piquing my interest, and if it’s bad, it’s just going to be a boring type of bad.

  • bleurgh

    Alcoholism does that.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ahem-BOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYHHHHHOOOOOOOOODDDDDD

  • bassbait

    Did Everest take 12 years to make?

    And I mean the mountain, not the movie.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    No

  • bleurgh

    It’s not bad, but if you need tornados full of sharks to keep you interested in a movie and get bored by a character studies with just a few blizzards, avalanches, people freezing to death and heroism then you won’t like it.

  • bassbait

    It just occurred to me how few movies I’ve actually seen. Of all Half in the Bag reviews, here’s all the movies I’ve seen that they’ve reviewed –

    Battle: Los Angeles (only part of it)
    Samurai Cop
    Troll 2
    Thor (only part)
    People vs George Lucas (only like half an hour of it)
    Jack and Jill (shamefully, all of it)
    The Hunger Games
    Resident Evil 1 and 2
    Sinister (fell asleep though)
    Return to Oz
    Star Trek: Into Dorkness
    Things
    Robocop (the original)
    Godzilla (98)
    The Black Hole
    Battlefield Earth
    Mad Max: Fury Road

    Ok that turned out to be a lot more than I thought it’d be. But yea, usually these reviews take place of actually having to see the movie in question, because “fuck movies”.

  • Battlefield Earth, classic. Yea, good to see the classics.

    #keepspooringboozeit’snotatthetopyet

  • hybridm0ments

    I’m glad Jake Gylenelenehall had another chance to show off his boxing abs. Camping is so lame. Climbing mountains is really lame. Stay home and bitch about movies like normal people.

  • bassbait

    My favorite movie is 2001: A Space Odyssey, so I’m not exactly looking for fast paced action or anything. My main interest in films is auteur stuff, and there’s no real “voice” to a film that’s based on a true story. “Stephen Hawking’s pretty cool!” – yep, already knew that. “Climbing mount everest sure is hard!” – yep, already knew that. I feel like the mount everest *challenge* is a narcissism thing. It’s all about showing off that you’re able to do something really dangerous that serves no purpose. To me that’s just stupid, or at the very least, not compelling motivation that drives me to care about what happens in the film. I prefer films where the film-makers are trying to say something. If I want a presentation about a real life event I’ll watch a documentary or read about it. A dramatization of a real life event is ok if the film-makers are making a commentary on those events or presenting them in a really compelling manner – Goodfellas is a good example.

  • Palpatine

    I love how half of those are old(er) movies.

  • bleurgh

    Yeah, the movie makes exactly the same point. That these people are hubristic assholes who didn’t understand or care about the dangers of what they were doing and thought they were on a vacation.

  • Palpatine

    The Psychlo’s make you Gungans look like geniuses in comparison.

  • bassbait

    She’s very pretty like most actresses are. But besides that, the only movies I’ve seen her in were The Princess Diaries, Ella Enchanted, Hoodwinked, and Get Smart. It’s kinda hard to form an opinion on her as an actress based on that.

    She’ll always be The Princess Diaries girl to me. For the record I didn’t like The Princess Diaries… or Hoodwiinked, and don’t remember Get Smart that much. Ella Enchanted might have been alright but I might also be confusing it for Enchanted starring Amy Adams. It occurs to me that I’ve seen too many girly princess movies.

  • Mr. Pedantic

    It’s okay…it felt like they ran out of money and rushed the ending. It spent too much time focusing on Shackleton’s fund-raising and backstory in comparison to the actual journey. Though it probably did as good a job as it could with a TV budget, and any future adaptation would probably be redundant.

  • Palpatine

    Is HitB scripted or not?

  • bassbait

    I might like that if it went for a really cynical, almost black comedy approach. Something that openly commentates on the pathetic nature of *flying too close to the sun* so to speak, in an entertaining way.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I think it used to be. One day the script fell on the ground and the rest is history.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Wow I just did a search on the dead bodies on Everest. That shit is freaky. Everest sounds like the worst place on earth, worse than Detroit even, perhaps even worse than New Jersey.

  • Palpatine

    Hey!

  • RLMkeepitup

    the way you phrased this is great

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I would like to see this movie but Jake Guillenhal gives me the creeps. I have an easier time watching Tom Cruise than him, and I never watch Tom Cruise..

  • bassbait

    I don’t seek out movies, I let them find me usually. Of those films, a lot of them were specifically because of HitB reviews. The ones that are more recent were usually people making the mistake of assuming that inviting me to see a new movie is a good idea. If I watch a new movie in theaters I’m almost guaranteed to fall asleep because of sensory overload, unless it’s particularly engaging (Mad Max), in which case I won’t stop talking at great length about the movie for hours.

    I just looked at my admittedly small movie collection and the only summer blockbuster type movies I have are Star Wars OT and Indiana Jones 1-4. Does Nukie count as a summer blockbuster movie?

  • bassbait

    what’s that over there, in the snow? Is that the script?

  • Palpatine

    Oh come on, New Jersey’s not that bad. I mean sure, Camden’s a shithole, our taxes our higher than a stoner, and our governer’s a bloated dick, but other than that, it’s a fine state.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What about Portland and LA?

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Sure they suck too…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You have the New Jersey Devil, AKA Snooki.

  • Palpatine

    Never, speak, of, Nukie, in, front, of, me!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    We don’t have Chris Christie luckily.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You sound boring. Try cocaine, it’ll make you less boring. *sniff* Uhhhhhhhh

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I went through puberty there, not good I assure you

  • Palpatine

    Wow, a Jersey Shore reference in 2015.

  • Palpatine

    Where’d you grow up?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I don’t know what that was. Some one here told me a monster called a Snooki is from New Jersey.

  • bassbait

    Portland and LA are great. Try Vegas. It’s a shit hole.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Bloomfield and then Andover 1979-1986.
    My memoire would read “7 years in New Jersey”

  • newegg

    My 3d glasses didn’t help the 2d characters.

    I’m surprised you guys didn’t talk about the miniature model plane and helicopters that were used. It took some 1950s vintage bad scifi turn. Also most of the scenes clearly had a green backdrop that was filled in. You could even see the creases numerous times.

    What a painfully boring experience. The expository writing felt like it was done by a highschool kid. “HI YES! I AM FROM TEXAS” “YES I AM FROM JAPAN! IVE CLIMBED SIX OTHER MOUNTAINS!” “AND I AM FROM AUSTRALIA!”. Painfully dull. A movie about a mountain, done as flat as Kansas. What a great waste of time.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Wasn’t Pawn Stars from Vegas?

  • bassbait

    I’m extremely boring. I wish people would figure it out and stop inviting me to watch their shitty movies.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Wow, now I will never see this movie. Thank you for saving me $15.00. I’d rater play videogames than watch movies nowadays…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    How are the Cedar Lanes Cinemas?

  • bassbait

    I’ve never actually been to Pawn Stars’ shop but I know people who have and they say that, when it’s not being filmed, it’s an entirely different story than when it is being filmed. When not filmed, the guys you see on the show leave, and people who have nothing to do with the show run the place, and the place is packed full of people (tourists usually) and there’s a line running out the door and it’s apparently fucking awful to go in there.

    Then when they film, they kick everyone out to make it look like it’s a nice place to be, and they bring in the guys who are on the show to do the show and then they go back home.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Yes

  • Wizard Phoenix

    So they’re frauds basically.

  • bassbait

    That summarizes the Vegas experience. Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 probably made Vegas look better than it is, and that’s really saying something.

  • bassbait

    Fraud Stars.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Yes, “Reality” TV.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    On this episode of Fraud Stars! A hot air balloon! Big Boss spends too much money on it and Rick or whatever his name is gets mad!

  • bassbait

    Just watch Foodfight. It gives you the best of both worlds!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well considering all the Mass Effect games are better than the films that inspired it in recent years I think I agree with you.

  • Palpatine

    Oh, I love that movie!

  • RLMkeepitup

    Hey I’m in Florida remember, it’s like a funnel for all the freaks the northern states can’t hold. Our governor looks like an alien

  • bassbait

    I was supposed to send it in for their wall of nukie but then I liked the movie too much and wanted to keep it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    We watched Nukie…I wanted to die.

  • bassbait

    I still need to see it. It looks like one of the best animated movies ever, right up there with The Little Panda Fighter.

  • Palpatine

    It’s pretty much the animated equivalent of The Room.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    In stead of three million dollars it was sixty five million dollars

  • bassbait

    What’s the animated equivalent of Birdemic? Is it… Birdemic?

  • Palpatine

    The tagline should’ve been; “$65,000,000 in the Making”.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You mean stolen because I do not see sixty five million dollars on the fucking screen.

  • Geoffrey Soul

    Quite possibly true but I thought Branagh was excellent. The story could well do with a big budget studio production at some point. Lots of interesting characters, stunning locations + ‘constant danger’. Incredible stuff.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Jason should have totally pounded on his chest after strangling this guy: https://youtu.be/Ko8soOHVJV8?t=7m

  • bleurgh

    I can’t relate to that at all. I think Gyllenhaal is killing it lately, especially since he grew the balls to start playing more complex and less likeable characters. Prisoners, which was shamefully under-rated, was a really turning point in my feelings toward him as an actor. Hollywood was trying push him into the bland charming beef-cake male lead mould for a while and he seems to have finally escaped their clutches.

    Tom Cruise on the other hand is a botox-filled, robot-faced, creepy, grinning weirdo with a thin grasp on sanity and the cold dead eyes of a sociopath, but plays an all-American wholesome nice-guy in every role.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    that was me. and palpy told me off for Jersey Shore jokes too.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Both.
    i’m sure the have a basic script and then just riff on it.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    i think you should change it back.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    was that the movie with the black goo…

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I wanted to make a movie in my garage called “Tails from Future Pants.” but I didn’t have enough black garbage bags to make the set…. or any pants.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    They will probably outsource it to starving chinese children. In memory of Jobs.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I leant over a bridge over the Yarra River to look at some fish, my phone was in my shirt pocket and plop no more phone.
    The worst part was the fish called a video sex line in china and i had to pay for it.

  • bleurgh

    Not as bad as Los Angeles though.

  • Nightmeerkat

    Endurance is actually my favourite book!

    …Is it wrong to nerdgasm about extreme human suffering and tragedy? I’m going to assume no to that and do it anyways.

  • Thanks for saving me $19.25, the price of a 3D movie around here. Come to think of it, I can’t/won’t spend $20 for a one-time screening of a maybe-it-sucks movie among a crowd of popcorn-chomping humans some of whom may be of the loathsome youth variety.

    Off-topic rambling – you’ve been warned:
    Did you read the remarks made by Lucas and Speilberg at the USC film school last year? Speilberg doubted the viability of the ‘all-tentpole’ business model while Lucas offered an idiotic solution: a ticket price somwhere between $50 and $150. Concert prices for viewing digital media! You can see Tannhäuser (live performance, of course) at Lincoln Center this month starting at $27. Obviously, a 4.5 hour Wagnerian buttnumbathon does not have the mass appeal of a Hollywood film (guy takes his sweet time getting to that mountain gate) but my question is why are we paying the same general admittance fee for wildly different productions at the movie theater? That’s not the case with other entertainment. Then again, the entertainment industry is notorious for its hacks and frauds – that’s probably half of the explanation.

  • bleurgh

    http://www.avclub.com/article/everest-minus-sound-effects-equals-weird-empty-com-226120

    What Jay said about the possibility of the film being better with less music and mostly just sound effects was interesting. I do think they went to far with the dramatic music at some points, but as the clip above demonstrates, the drama of these situations isn’t entirely effectively conveyed without the use of any music at all.

  • bleurgh

    Yeah, but Vegas knows it’s a shit-hole and revels in it. There’s a charm to that.

  • HeftyJo

    I had the pleasure of hearing a radio interview of Beck Weathers, who was played by Josh Brolin, on 1310 The Ticket sports radio in Dallas. He was a doctor and a sport enthusiasts and between the two it kept him away from him family a lot which is why they played him up as an aggravated, resentful guy in the movie. There was a lot of tension in his personal life from being away from his family so much. His first problems on the mountain started when he went blind as he tried to climb Everest. It wasn’t known at the time but people that have undergone radial keratotomy procedures to correct vision problems are more susceptible to vision loss in extreme high altitude and cold temps. He ended up having to turn back around due to vision loss and then the storm struck. That’s when he was struck with altitude sickness and went into a high altitude induced coma and passed out on an exposed rock face. Within the next 24 hours he just mysteriously woke up. He’s the only known case of someone living through altitude sickness while fully exposed to -40 F winds. Only problem is he woke up with both hands completely frozen and totally blind. He knew there was a base camp 300m away but at that altitude, and with his injuries, that was a lifetime away. Somehow he managed to drag himself up, and using the wind blowing against his face, guide himself back to the base camp. When he got to the camp everyone thought he was a walking corpse and put him in a tent to leave him to die. The next day the weather cleared and everyone left the camp and left him behind except for few people who heard him calling for help. They helped him down the mountain to a altitude that was just low enough for a helicopter to reach him and take him down to safety. He said at first when he was asked if he would do it again, “That, that was the STUPIDEST question I’ve ever heard.” But after reflecting upon it in his older age, he realized that Everest took the resentment and pride out of his life. And in its place he got back to what was really important which was to be a bigger part of his family and friends. And so with where he ended up, despite all the pain and torture and rehab, he would do it again to be knowing it would bring him closer to the ones he loves.

  • bleurgh

    He seemed pretty bitter about being walked passed by that guy from the other tour group who wasn’t even being paid to guide him up the Mountain. The title of his autobiography was Left For Dead. I wonder if he’s more understanding now.

  • bleurgh

    Thanks, loved it!

  • Aha! that old Ace Hardware ladder spanning the crevasse! According to ancient tradition, the Sherpa people only make use of products and retailers endorsed by the Madden Lama: Ace, Electronic Arts, Outback Steakhouse, and Tinactin Anti-Fungal Cream.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • bassbait

    Maybe if you go for a visit, but definitely not when you live there.

  • bassbait

    I do it all the time. In public. Nobody ever tells me it’s wrong. But I do get some stares.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    That Australian Prime Minister took a selfie with Chris Hemsworth at the AFL Grand Final…. I don’t think that helped either of their careers.

    https://scontent-lax3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/12144865_10153738624191579_8175262317719518928_n.jpg?oh=db603e36c04fc0dbc289720fa5662c26&oe=569830DD

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Lets face it. No one ‘Lives’ in Vegas.

  • bassbait

    I do. I wouldn’t really call it “living” so much as “dying of heat stroke” though.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Tell me about it. I’m Australian. Its 8pm and its still 28.9c.or 84.2f.

  • No. They used to have a script and some notes but they stopped doing that around episode 4.

  • Red Skeleton

    Cant you people pick a prime minister and stick with him for more than a year?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    No. live with it.

  • Delores Gillespie

    my last pay
    check was $7559
    working 8 hours a week online.
    My sisters friend has been averaging 16k for months now and she works
    about 18 hours a week.
    I can’t believe how easy it was
    once I tried it out. This is what I do…

    http://www.careersbuilderhomebasedjobs.blogspot.com/

    142

  • Delores Gillespie

    my last pay check was $7559 working 8 hours a week online. My sisters friend has been averaging 16k for months now and she works about 18 hours a week. I can’t believe how easy it was once I tried it out. This is what I do…

    http://www.careersbuilderhomebasedjobs.blogspot.com/

    146

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I hope you get AIDS and die. you spam cunt.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    But you… fuck you! I hope you get skin cancer and your dick falls off.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You stupid spam cunts are so lazy.
    Here is the image you stole… from your nokia phone you stupid fuck hole.

    http://f9view.com/nokia-xl-android-specifications-features/480×800-nokia-xl-android-girl-wallpaper4

  • Forty Six and 2 are just ahead of me.

  • 45, put your head in a fucking bee hive.

  • Like Icare

    Hey… at least it was a very original, if non sequitur, reply to the question.
    Very 3-2-3-4… in fact.

  • Milton Dammers

    Mike – Endurance was made as a UK TV miniseries called Shackleton starring Kevin Brannigan. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0272839/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_18

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    This town needs an Aenima.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    It is it?

  • Kitten Takara Summers

    Its weird that you should say about the whole “Yes I am from Texas, Yes i am from Japan and such.” when you go to base camp and as you get higher up the mountain, those stereotypes seem to get more exaggerated the further you go up. Also a lot climbing teams are based on country, So you do talk the Germans or The French or the Yanks. considering you rarely see people faces, everyone looks the the same and only thing that tells them apart is either language or Ancient its sometimes the only way to identify people. I think the movie got that right!

  • tOmy`

    Cant you people pick a prime minister who doesn’t stick it into no more than one specie?

  • bassbait

    you mean this hopeless fucking hole we call LA?

  • tOmy`

    I have to agree with Jay here – when I saw the trailer, I thought it’s gonna be pretty boring. Now I am kinda intrigued.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I wouldn’t know. I live on 108 miles of isolated sandy beach on Australia’s south coast.
    If it helps i went surfing after work. thats kinda Californian.

  • tOmy`

    Also: My personal favorite true story that I would love to see as a movie is is the story of WWII destroyer USS William D. Porter – possibly the most hilarious and spectacular failure of all marine history.

    It also one of the best, maybe the best article on Cracked: http://www.cracked.com/article_19637_the-5-craziest-war-stories-all-happened-same-ship.html

    If you don’t have a time to read this amazing thing, here are just the highlights:
    * Dragging the anchor on another sister’s deck upon leaving the port
    * Accidentally dropping a depthcharge from the deck, alarming whole fleet and almost blowing itself up
    * Shooting a live torpedo at a friendly boat with FDR himself on the deck
    * After being exiled, accidentally bombed a fontyard of Commander’s house while he was throwing party for other officers and their wives
    * And then finally getting sunk by a plane they shot from the sky that accidentally exploded beneath the ship. Or as the article puts it: “In other words, the ship was accidentally killed by an airplane that had already crashed.”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I can get close to that level of hilarity.
    HMAS Melbourne was Australia’s last Aircraft Carrier. its two Kills include ramming an Australian Destroyer and an American Destroyer…. Ooops.
    Then we sold it to China as scrap and they cut the deck off and put it on land and used it to train pilots for their new Aircraft carriers… our bad.

  • tOmy`

    Here is a small Czech army story:

    You know, after 9/11, we all jumped on the “Holy shit, we are next” hypetrain and realized we need to protect Prague and the building of Radio Free Europe, cuz we literally don’t have anything else worth protecting.

    So we sent out an armed convoy consisting of 4 armored vehicles, which I presume is the total amount of our armored vehicles. They embarked on 200 – 300 kilometers long journey from the base to Prague – one of them broke down right at the base, other two somewhere along the road. Therefore the key strategic point of Czech Republic was defended by one armored vehicle.

    Few days after, I was visiting Prague and we drove around this vehicle. Soldiers were sitting like 10 meters from it, sipping coffee and smoking cigarettes, while small kids were climbing the death machine. It was glorious.

    So be advised, rest of the Europe: When the shit finally hits the fan, we are just surrendering by default.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Thats gold class funny.
    Shit we got two APC’s and two platoons of engineers and 1 AWACs for a town of 5,000 that lost 11 people in a bush fire.

  • playdude92 .

    In a previous life, Mike must have been a bartender. How else could he survive so much booze and know so many racial slurs?

  • tOmy`

    Well his cultural heritage comes from Central / East Europe, pretty much the first league of alcoholism.

    As for being racist… well, he is from America.

  • tOmy`

    I think our strategy against invading army would be sitting and shouting:

    “Oh come on, not again! I didn’t even finish my beer.”

    However, I think that we have like top-class anti-chem squad (we were helping in Afghanistan / Iraq.) So maybe if the invading force uses some kind of gas or spray us with something skin-peeling, we might be in “luck”.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Australia stole our main strategy off Russia. Blow up everything man made and let the enemy try and survive in you deadly country.
    They used cold. We have Snakes Heat, Spiders, Heat, Dust, Sharks, Heat, Hot Sharks(heya Jaws), Crocodiles, Crocodile Hunters, and Douge…. YOU DONT FUCK WITH DOUGE!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    He is PolishIrishMilwaukian. His DNA is made of BOOZE!

  • tOmy`

    It could work here, but I think we would be against closing our pubs even during invasion.

  • ENDURANCE MOVIE! FUCKE YES!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I’m sorry but your people sicken me. No Australian would leave booze for the enemy to find… if the worst came to the worst we would drink it all before surrendering. You sir are as bad as the french.
    EDIT: i feel bad… no one is as bad as the french.

  • bleurgh

    Why would anyone whose not on the run from something or a sex-worker live there?

  • bassbait

    Aside from the fact that I am both of those things, it’s also cheap and close to my family. That last thing isn’t a benefit.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    At times like this, with global crises tearing us apart, if only we could join together against Humanity’s natural enemy… The French.

  • tOmy`

    “Kingsman: The Secret Service sequel to start filming in April depending on Taron Egerton’s schedule”

    What else is on Taron Egerton’s schedule you might ask? Robin Hood reboot (I shit you not) called Origins (still not shitting you).

  • instant relief

    Leave the French alone! They got their own Disneyland after all!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Richard the Lionheart was FRENCH!

  • instant relief

    I wanna put my mic in his Stokl-ass-a..

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • instant relief

    When I visited Disneyland Paris we had to wait 1 hr 45 minutes for my first ride on Space Mountain right after spending 5 hrs in the car traveling to hat hell hole.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    This is the only Theme Park I ever went to.
    https://youtu.be/TLtBUS5fUow

  • instant relief

    Wow, that just answered so many questions I had about you.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    A: Yes that is a real thing.
    B: Yes i went there as a kid.
    C: It was way more disappointing than it looks.

  • instant relief

    If you wanna leave the country, mate, I can surely arrange something for you…

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I remember having to wait 3 hours in line to ascend Eifel Tower while having stomach problems. Fun times.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I have a tent, all i need is a place to camp.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Did you vomit over the side and the result was sold by a street artist as a Jackson Pollock?
    #StealingRedDwarfJokes.

  • instant relief

    Your jokes are too campy for me! *RUNS AWAY*

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Come on bro! all I want is some Lebensraum…

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Nah I managed to hold in all the vomit and shit until we got back to the hotel.

    #endurance test for the ages #yolo

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    And apparently for the hotel cleaning staff.

  • TapewormBike

    So I guess, if this was The Martian review, the conversation wouldn’t be about fun times with vehicular warfare at this point.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Get out of my head. all day all i hear about is our new army toy.
    http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-10-05/anatomy-of-hawkei/6828328

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I like ‘Fear the Walking Dead.’ but… Arcade Fire did it better.

    https://youtu.be/5Euj9f3gdyM

  • instant relief

    Yeah, I guess refugees with tents are en vogue at the moment. Get your buttocks over here!

  • Palpatine

    Everyone would be arguing with each other.

  • Fuck, fuck, fuck, fucking, fuck.

  • Beat this. The theme was death and misery. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PqEcktwi0vo

  • Palpatine

    Adding Origins to anything automatically makes it suck.

  • instant relief

    The Walking Dead got boring after 2 and a half seasons. Is Fear still worth checking out?

  • instant relief

    Yes, please.

  • instant relief

    I never even made it to Paris, but I went to Disneyland Paris twice. Each time for a whole week.

  • I’ve met them. I tried them for murder, gave ’em the chair! Then I had some Gungin sweet potato pie. It was a good week.

  • instant relief

    I just don’t get the hype surrounding Kingsmen. Everyone seems to fucking love it. It’s supposedly refreshing the spy genre as a whole or something, but I don’t get that impression at all. It’s just a generic immature comedy.
    Colin Firth, what were you thinking?

  • Ah man. If you want to reboot something from the middle ages you have to go 1996 Romeo + Juliet on their ass. I’m thinking “Rob’in Hood”. Gangsters, pimps, pushers, guns, attitude, cool dialogue, love, heartbreak, murder and much much more. WHAT A HIT!

  • instant relief

    Eating donuts gives me a fatgasm! IM A DISGUSTING YOU-MAN! DONT JUDGE ME PLX

  • instant relief

    Add a contemporary hip-hop soundtrack by the RZA to spice world things up!

  • Ye ye yeee! Wizzy wizzy. Cho cha awrrazah. Pompf pompf pompf pompf dah pompf pompf pompf.

    #hititjohnny

  • instant relief

    Robin Hood ain’t nothing to fuck with! ‘XCEPT MARIAN! GET YO AZZ OVA HERE, PIMPASS HO!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    meh?

  • instant relief

    Dicktitties?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    My favorite real place name is Tittybong.
    Google it.

  • instant relief

    How convenient, it’s right next to Cokum!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Pulp

    My dentist is a hobby climber, he drives a Porsche with a Finnish blonde in it; what a man.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    There is also Deddick Valley, a mountain called Bald Knob and Lake Borrie… although that last one might need a translator.

  • instant relief

    The Germans have Hymendorf.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    did he shoot a lion?

  • tOmy`

    Enough with this politeness!

    I for one think that mountains are stupid and should be either nuked, banned or deported back to Mountanistan where they can occupy their own space!

    #MyChurchWontBeAMountain #ColdIsNotCool #FlattenIt

  • tOmy`

    Johnny? Johnny?!

    Oh, that’s right, Johnny is a sampler.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Melbourne has a Batman Hill. it’s on Batman Parade.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Fuck yooooooou!
    I was born in the mountains and you can take the hills from my cold dead hands!!! you FLATLANDER!

  • tOmy`

    French are fine. Been there few times and they are mostly pretty neat people.

    Although I do have one shocking observation: You cannot drink in public and buy cigarettes in a grocery shop. Bohemians-with-little-dash-of-decadence my ass.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Fuzzy Wuzzy was a woman?

  • Palpatine

    I don’t like mountains. They’re big, and rocky, and irritating, and they’re almost everywhere.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Australia is the flattest continent on earth…. think about it…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKPoHgKcqag

  • TapewormBike

    I like mountains. I mean, when they’re not too high. Or cold.

  • instant relief

    There’s also a village called Fickdorf and the Austrians run a placed called “Fucking”.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Thats shit. here you can buy booze and smokes in any shop. but you can legally only smoke in your own homecar (If you dont have kids) or 100 meters from people with a large sign and flashing lights to warn people of you evil 2nd hand smoke.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I knew a mountain that kept getting high… poor bastard OD’ed.

  • tOmy`

    The only acceptable use of the mountains is this:

    https://youtu.be/Fz4F2X1xSc8?t=1m51s

    Rest is just some liberal environmental doctrine.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    They would. they cant even spell Australia right.

  • tOmy`

    100 meters from people?

    Didn’t you just described whole Australia?

  • TapewormBike

    Cocaine is a helluva drug. Get it, cause like, snow and stuff?

  • TapewormBike

    I don’t do either of those things (seriously, forget about kissing me, smoker), yet it still somehow feels oppressive.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I got your liberal doctrine right here pal.

    https://farm6.staticflickr.com/5202/5326491333_ab9ddc3173_b.jpg

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    “Nose Blasting” where is that from?

  • tOmy`

    Typical fucking nature, all it can afford is few shades of green and water.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    “Australia.TM. Guaranteed* to contain less than 1 person per a square kilometer.”
    *Not a Guarantee.

  • tOmy`

    Well, bans on drinking in public were always a bit weird too me. (Don’t we have a law like that, by the way? I am pretty sure that we have one, but as per usual, everyone is too wasted to check.)

    But as a smoker, I kinda get the whole idea of not being able to buy cigarettes in a normal shop. Why not. If you wanna kill yourself, you can as well make a little stroll to the closest newsstand or tobacco. Kids don’t need to see that there is an option to be cool while sacrificing their health every time their parents take them grocery shopping.

  • tOmy`

    I think it’s like 2.4 per square kilometer.

    So your country is basically ruled by livestock.

  • TapewormBike

    I think the public drinking ban is only in some cities. It’s probably in Prague too, but the pigs can fucking try and take my Alpa offa me!

  • tOmy`

    Yea, I think it applies to Prague’s center and your subway system, whatever that is supposed to be. Do you… do you make sandwiches underground?

    Then again, I am fairly sure that “applies” doesn’t mean “enforced” in Bohemia.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I grew up in that forest…. Its one of the most amazing things in the world.
    its even got public transport.

    http://www.grayline.com.au/images/melbourne/puffingbilly/puffing-billy-chugging-through-sherbrooke-forest-1024×768.jpg

  • tOmy`

    “puffing-billy-chugging-through-sherbrooke”

    That sounds like an amazing porn title.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Dont be silly, kangaroos are our masters… oh i’ve said to much…

  • TapewormBike

    Who liked 127 hours? I feel I get enough of James Franco desperately masturbating from his own directorial work.

  • tOmy`

    Would be a great movie:

    Kangaroo Overlords
    How far can you jump?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    And a total lie! that photo is obviously on the border of Menzies Creek and Selby! that means its clearly on the other side of Black Hill to Sherbrooke Forest!
    #PhotoShaming

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Remember Tae Bo?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Remember Taco?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Im vegan so I’ve never tried one

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I’m a danny boyle fanboy so I liked it.

  • instant relief

    Hitler is from Australia? Are YOU Hitler? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3sOuEv0E2I

  • instant relief

    Twas a little overdone. Could’ve been better with a more capable main actor. Franco only works in comedic roles imo.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    it’s a guilty pleasure for me. like I know the movie is flawed in all kinds of ways but that didn’t stopped me from enjoying it.

  • instant relief

    I love mountains, asshole!

  • instant relief

    That’s okay. I enjoyed San Andreas for the same reason. It’s a throwaway movie, but ok for watching once.
    But Kingsmen felt to me like it was trying a little too hard to be hip and fresh and in your face.

  • Palpatine

    Remember (commenter’s name withheld)?

  • TapewormBike

    I like the guy himself and I loved most of Sunshine, but while it certainly was not atrocious, I was pretty disappointed by it. As Relief pointed out, it called for a tour de force performance, which was not delivered.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    yep, spoke to him yesterday.

  • TapewormBike

    I remember the gay guy. Andrew, I think.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You mean the one that will be played by Ian McKellan?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I wasn’t a huge fan of the movie but Jimmy Franco is very great in the movie.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    No, He goes by Carmine Russo.

    http://i.imgur.com/wwZ4nSY.jpg

  • Palpatine

    Yes.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    he wishes he was gay! have you seen his shoes?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh yeah Omitted!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You’ll cum bucket loads when you’ll see Steve Jobs this weekend.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I see your point, but Jake G still gives me the creeps, but that’s a testament to his acting ability, which I agree is leaps and bounds over Tom Cruise

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Oy Vey!

  • So, let me get this straight – Australia detains all immigrants to Manus Island, Papua New Guinea and 2 Australian managers at the camp drugged and raped a woman, then were flown off PNG’s territory and now PNG wants to arrest every manager on the island?

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Do some research on Mt Everest (the actual mountain) it’s quite amazing

  • So, Volcanoes have acid reflux disease?

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Vegas does have a “real” part to it which is like most other cities. I know I went to a Mexican restaurant off of the strip thanks to an awesome local cabbie.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Crimson Peak: yay or nay?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I’m gonna see it regardless because there simply are no alternatives if you wanna see a horror movie in theare this month that isn’t scraping bottom of the barrel.

  • instant relief

    Wow, that guy would’ve made The X-Files so much more entertaining.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    If you want Franco delivering tour de force performances check out Spring Breakers. wait that actually may be the exact opposite of a tour de force. it’s s captivating performance though. more then anything else he’s done.

  • instant relief

    Okay, I added it to my “Netflix watchlist”.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What if Rainbow’s Remedy was secretly a del Toro film?

  • Marvin Falz

    And it hurts very much when they get into your shoes.

  • Marvin Falz

    Don’t forget Poppenhausen.

  • Marvin Falz
  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Yay! I love Guillermo

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Disqus is SOOO perplexing. It’s almost as bad as Windows 8.

  • The Summer of George

    What is this reviewing-a-good-movie nonsense?!?

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Everest’s status as “good” is up for debate at this point. I can’t say much else as I haven’t seen it

  • instant relief

    Welcome to Wixhausen! <3

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I thought Sunshine could have used more humor for a movie about people nuking the sun. I liked it enough once, especially for its lack of gratuitous disaster porn, but think it missed some chances at going beyond the genre.

  • Marvin Falz

    With all that booze on Mount Everest and the Post-AA meeting Party Pack and Scientist Man and that most fantastic segment in your last video-ad (“Keep filling it up, it’s not at the top yet …”), maybe it’s time to rename Half in the Bag into Totally Wasted as in ‘I am drunk beyond my wildest dreams’ aaand as in ‘I have totally wasted my time watching this movie’.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Too bad they couldn’t just sit static in their chairs and cut between A camera and B camera for 27 minutes while talking about a movie they kind of liked only half watched. That’s a show I’d wat-… oh wait.

  • instant relief

    They should add a section where they casually walk towards a green screen window before they sit down.

  • Marvin Falz

    Reminds me of the only funny thing coming from Stefan Raab. He presented a children’s picture book named “Der lustige Wixi”.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    They could fill time by showing every “dropped my game controller” scene. ‘Cos I need to be sure they dropped it for the story to make sense or my brain will start asking questions.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Jay wants to climb the mountain, because he is in love. Has some other asshole already posted this?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkBVDh7my9Q

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes.

  • instant relief

    This was the last time I laughed about Raab’s jokes: http://www.myvideo.de/watch/1401849/Buergi_song

  • Marvin Falz

    Ah yes, Raab used to sing a lot of these songs involving well-known people like Dieter Bürgy from the Calgon-ad and Bertie Vogts https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNzB0xBrMVY

  • instant relief

    Back then he still gave a shit. 😉

  • TapewormBike

    Spectre trailer needs more Monica Bellucci and way less unfinished CGI shots.

  • instant relief

    Everything needs more Monica Bellucci.

  • TapewormBike

    The muffins I baked today totally do.

  • The true original hack and shlock entrepreneur, mr Shatner.

    5/5

  • *cokedealer

  • CynicalOptimist22 .

    “Look around Tapeworm… Every scene you watched… Is ruined.”

  • instant relief

    I wanna do irreversible things with her. Oh, wait. That sounds wrong.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Kind of hope they do Green Inferno and Crimson Peak as a double review.

  • TapewormBike

    Oh don’t even, that scene is still giving me nightmares.

  • instant relief

    Every scene in that movie is a nightmare. They should include barfbags with every copy.

  • Palpatine

    If I cared for James Bond, I’d have something to say, but I don’t. Goodbye.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    So the Finnish blonde is very manly and hot?

  • Palpatine

    No, that would be Ed Wood.

  • rashad1

    Is Sicario next guys?

  • TapewormBike

    I am not comitting a suicide over it. Yet.

  • RLMkeepitup

    why did bond films become so serious anyway

  • RLMkeepitup

    I would go cannibal for that review

  • I’ve been playing Flatout 2 recently. Man, it hasn’t aged a bit but I think there’s something wrong with my controller. https://a.disquscdn.com/get?url=http%3A%2F%2F25.media.tumblr.com%2Ff78dcd15d2417bcf474c68d81bb0ae62%2Ftumblr_mm4ur6l2Om1s1vt4mo3_400.gif&key=GukaKJC2ca_UAWscKKNorA&w=600&h=225

  • Domo

    I hope Mountain Stand Safety is next on the wheel of the worst.

    Please will you make an instructional video, RLM? There are no funny mountain climbing training videos on the Internet! Put your cat puke real mountain to good use!

  • instant relief

    I wish there were more crash oriented racing games like FL2. I replayed it recently for the bazillionth time. <3

  • Cream-A-Thon

    These last two films seemed to be desperately trying to break the Bond mold but only broke my heart with the exception of the song “Another Way to Die.” The new movie has me worried based on the song alone.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • RLMkeepitup

    Die Another Day wasn’t very reassuring either.

  • instant relief

    Ugh, thanks for making me google that pathetic Spectre song.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    On Netflicks this fall! Starring Gabriel Byrne as Mr. Plinkett, James Franco as Mike, Michael Cera as Jay, and Rich Evans as Santa Claus.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m looking forward to it so I’m avoiding everything.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    It is atrocious. I like schmaltz but this is “bad” schmaltz.

  • tOmy`

    “But moooom, I don’t wanna go to mental asylum.”
    “They don’t call them that anymore, sweetie, it’s called comment sections now.”
    “What does it mean?”
    “Well, these good people are gonna plug you into the internet and make you stare at this webzone, 18/7.”
    “Oh… and who is that fat man?”
    “That’s Mr. Plinkett, he is gonna be your residing doctor.”
    *Paging doctor Plinkett, paging doctor Plinkett*

    You see, Hollywood? Nobody wants a fucking origin story!

    #WaitWhat?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Excuse me but you got the casting wrong.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Joaqin wouldn’t return our calls. Can you maybe poke’m with a stick, see if he’s still alive?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Are you implying I’m dead?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Ghost Commenter – this fall on Hulu! Starring Joaquin Phoenix, Andy Kaufman, and Bobbi Kristina Brown.
    Edit: With special guest star Paul Walker.

  • RLMkeepitup

    its more like a haunted house with eddie murphy as your guide. you can check out any time you like but you can never, you know

  • tOmy`

    Yea, desert desert rats rats vault vault. So effin original, right, guys?

    Mario is where it’s at. Did you ever put your shroom into peaches? LOL!

    #Mario

  • tOmy`

    The last time I was in haunted house, I couldn’t tell haunted from the house.

  • tOmy`

    #GayShaming

    SAM SMITH IS GREAT!!!!!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What is this and why did Mike work on it?

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1412606/

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Isn’t he on Fox News?

  • He was desperate, he needed the money to buy booze.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Was he desperate enough to lie about his height on IMDB?

    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1518150/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cr4

  • RLMkeepitup

    the camera adds a few pounds and inches

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I think when he was editing it he thought it meant his waistline.

  • instant relief

    Yeah, it’s very generic and the tone is comepletely off. Looks like most of the audience will fall asleep during Spectre’s opening credits.

  • Forget this. Laughter Friends was when he was really desperate. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2364735/?ref_=nm_flmg_cin_2

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • They must be using really big lenses then.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They’re not.

  • Palpatine

    Careful now, giving away “private information” about RLM usually results in a banning.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s on IMDB, public knowledge.

  • Christopher McKenzie

    it’s hamfisted needless expository schlock. If that scene was cut entirely, it wouldn’t have effected the rest of the movie; ie, it was completely unnecessary and laughable.

    When it comes to disaster or scifi movies, RLM’s bar drops enormously and they start recommending snorefest after snorefest. It was an uninspired flat story that felt like I was watching it on late night cable television.

  • Palpatine

    Google Maps is also public.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Fine but he’s getting the dvd of the Yoga Thing.

  • Palpatine

    That ought to bring back memories.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He’s gonna need a bigger flask

    http://i.imgur.com/5VtCMai.gifv

  • Paul Sims

    Went and watched “The Endurance” after you guys mentioned it. Absolutely incredible!

  • DinnerBone

    7:20 How could they laugh- when he was feeling such pain.

  • Niccageshair

    Everyone has bills to pay.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    yep.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Come on, Nicky! Mike clearly had a passion for children’s yoga videos.

  • TheVerySpecialK

    I hope Plinkett didn’t die up there. It would be sad to have the next Plinkett review released post-humorously.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Well I just made Banana Bread! I added a Tablespoon of Baking soda instead of a Teaspoon by accident (beer), I hope I didn’t fuck up real bad……

  • RLMkeepitup

    did you make enough to share with the class

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I large loaf!, but with the extra baking soda it might just be 3 or 4 loaves, so yeah I’m sure I made enough..

  • Gallen_Dugall

    You left out the best part of the Shackleton story when after four years of brutal hardship they finally got back home WWI had started so they were all shipped off to fight and were killed.

  • Palpatine

    I can’t wait for the Italian animated ripoff of Everest where everyone is saved by a friendly Yeti and nobody dies.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I would see that. Honestly I might watch Everest at some point when it’s “on TV” or something

  • Percy Gryce

    Hmm, Domo has upped the ante. What do I have to send next, a bag of coke?

  • Amontillado

    You need to send them a new wife, then you’ll get a new Plinkett review

  • Amontillado

    This episode should also be called, “Yellow Snow at 33,000 Feet!”

  • Domo

    Oh goodness no. You sent VCR repair manuals and a nice enough stash of weird videos to possibly prompt Wheel of The Worst.

    Please, keep the bag of coke. For the children.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Flatout is great. Suits most LAN parties. Silly game. Wish they’d make more of these.

    Oh, Dark Souls update: I gave up completely. The game beat me. It’s… to much of a job to beat. I ended up enjoying it somewhat but I still think it was a tedious task to get anywhere. Made it to Anor Londo and I decided I fell in water and died for the last time. Also, ghosts. Ghosts everywhere.
    I know why people love it. And I think other games should take from it and apply to other genres. Also the all around melancholia make for a great atmosphere. It’s real good graphics design at it’s bet. I’ll just give it 2/5 because I’m an a-hole and the game pissed me off more than it should.

    So I started to play another game I recently got. Metro Last Light. Really nice. The A.I was goofy and real predictable but it worked, the monsters are creepy and it’s a real Russian experience 2015. Putin’s Russia looks like this! Have you been to Moscow? It’s a holocaust there, strange that I find out about it in a game and not in the news. Well, anyway. Otherwise I have been playing Medieval 2 Total war. It’s one of the games I return to and play through once every year. Invading your fellow allies and backstabbing, killing the Pope and laying heavy tax burdens on peasants. And taking Jerusalem!!!! Getting that sucker is easy, holding on to it is hard.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You should update to Windows 10, its FREE, WHAT VALUE!
    *Fade to black GUNSHOT.

  • Domo

    Did you know you’re not allowed to piss in the snows of Antarctica? Currently, people who work there have to piss into bottles and store it for months, regardless of where they are on the continent, for fear of contaminating the environment.

    Those Antarctic adventurers on The Endurance could piss anywhere, anytime! They didn’t realize how lucky they had it!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Also dropping one’s pants in a minus 40.c blizzard is inviting the worst kind of frostbite.
    and bites from starving Uruguayan rugby players on the b-buttocks

  • Gobshite

    Do you mean the Irish jib about not getting to the top of Everest because we’re all drunks? Yeah, I didn’t appreciate that, being Irish myself. Funny how only Americans only seem to have that stereotype of us, when the rest of the world doesn’t. I’ll have you know, Mike Stoklassa, that many an Irishman has climbed the summit of Everest. I’ll be over to Milwaukee later to put your windows in with potatoes. That’ll teach you!

  • TapewormBike

    Why is noone talking about Touching the Void on here? Also, I am more of a History Channel Auntie.

  • TapewormBike

    Honey, you got them A-buttocks

  • TapewormBike

    Ah, yes Gay Shaming. Usually shortened to “Gaming”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    They love to push the “Mount Everest is the same height as the cruising altitude of a 747.”
    Nut not once and any movie is this scene.
    *”Passengers this is your pilot speaking. If your on the left hand side of the plane you can see Mt Everest approaching…. Now we are going to ‘Buzz’ a climbing party. If everyone on the left hand side drop their pants and press you buttocks against the glass…. Lets make those climbers hungry.”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    A-. FUCK YOU!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Except if you look up North Korea.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yes. This.

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • WrongWithYourFace

    I could be the one holding that RLM mug Mike has right now! Sold out my ass!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I hope so. What a great movie.

  • Like Icare

    Coke? What will they do with a bag of coke? They’re not blacksmiths.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxfPB2Xe_6o&feature=youtu.be&t=40

    Besides, that would be racist. Proper term is African Smiths.

  • tOmy`

    As an avid tea / coffee junkie, I have to say that I was thinking about buying that one, it is pretty great.

    But then again, I already have 5 different mugs.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I have a half liter mug for use in the morning… its adequate.

  • tOmy`

    This is mine half liter mug

    http://imgur.com/BHvG9jL

    Love that bad boy, when you drink coffee from it, you can hear colors.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I wish I was 15 again so I could get arrested this cop.

    http://www.abc.net.au/news/image/6829970-3×2-700×467.jpg

  • instant relief

    That’s sexist, maybe her face is ugly.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Who said i was talking about the woman….
    She is a bit pouty.. but there is a TV crew there who wouldn’t pout?

    http://resources1.news.com.au/images/2015/10/06/1227558/426761-4dab680e-6bb1-11e5-b070-3995a5e0f903.jpg

  • instant relief

    So, now I’m the sexist? I guess that makes you an even bigger sexist! #gamergate2012

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I’m a sexist. I love sex…

  • instant relief

    I bet those poor sheep beg to differ if they didn’t have ball gags in their snouts. How do you even get 3000 ball gags in the middle of nowhere?

  • Mabel Tripp

    > >
    > > > > > > >
    > >

    www.OnlineBiz10.Tk

    108

  • tOmy`

    “Will Smith says he has never spoken to ‘Suicide Squad’ co-star Jared Leto out of character”

    There is only one conclusion to this information: Will Smith is confirmed for being black dude and Jared Leto finally lost it.

  • tOmy`

    Colors, how do they work?

  • tOmy`

    “After a bad break up Chip pretends to be a filmmaker in order to meet girls.” – Maybe he was the inspiration behind the true story?

  • Bubs

    It’s been awhile since i played it, but I’m pretty sure Anor Lando is optional. Also, it was my least favorite part of the game BY FAR. And this is coming from someone who actually really loved Dark Souls.

    Because the game gives you no direction, I made the mistake of thinking Anor Londo was one of the first places you’re supposed to go. As such, I got my ass handed to me for 3 hours straight and nearly gave up completely. I never went back until my second playthrough, where there’s an optional “endgame” boss.

  • Bubs

    Fallout 3 is a great game.

  • TapewormBike

    Or they’re both assholes?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Does that mean that both of them are in character all the time, or just Jared Leto? Although, it doesn’t really matter because Will Smith is always in the character of Will Smith.

  • Nope.

  • 3-2-3-4-4-2-3
    AND
    FUCK OFF!

  • Eww… modern art.

  • The last KIKI did horrible things to my YT recommendations. Proof: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ib_1ATfr8wM

  • I wouldn’t be surprised if someone added this to his IMDB just to troll him.

  • I think you’re thinking of New Londo Ruins, you have to go to Anor Londo and beat Smough and Ornstein to get the Lordvessel. Then again, the optional boss is also there, so I don’t know.

    Nonetheless, I made the mistake of going to New Londo at the very beginning and man, those ghosts were fucking assholes. I also tried going into the catacombs before clearing the depths. In fact, on my first playthrough I completely skipped the depths and went straight to Blighttown without knowing. It was painful and frustrating and yet, strangely rewarding..

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Huyna has a new music video??

    I mean, yeah, it messed up my recommendations too.

  • Speaking of Flatout, I think Bugbear is making Wreckfest which is supposed to be the spiritual successor to Flatout. There’s also GasGuzzlers, the cars handle pretty similarly from what I remember but the twist is that they have guns mounted on hoods.

  • TapewormBike

    It did that to everyone. And then my gf wanted to know what a Kiki is, so I put that shitty song on and now she likes it and plays it all the time. Fuck.

  • A short demo with Mike’s favourite – OLD PEOPLE. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zo39l5cymMA

  • instant relief

    Welcome to die.

  • Here, let Laughter Yoga heal you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K057vaVoMfc

  • Marvin Falz

    In retrospect I like some of these songs.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-zbNvLdRbc

    I don’t know why he doesn’t give a shit anymore. Maybe he’s like many artists (or humans in general), who at some point are done with what they’re doing, but it brings them money and maybe they feel some sort of obligation towards their fans or they just don’t want to lose the love of their fans. or whatever reason it is, that they go on.

    Leonard Nimoy was done with Star Trek after the original series, but he could be persuaded to play Spock again in The Motion Picture. That was a good choice, there are some great moments in the movies with the original cast.

    George Lucas didn’t seem to be too fond of working on Star Wars again either. But he did.

    And Debussy said something along the lines of that it is unfortunate for an artist, that he has to make a living and therefore needs to take the preferences of his audience into account.

    I’d rather like to deal with the changes an artist deems necessary, than having to deal with boredom and missing spirit / inspiration, because an artist is fatigued or saturated or whatever. Yeah, I mean, the Prequels, well, the Prequels are pretty bad quality, but nonetheless they’ve been very inspiring … … come to think of it, they’ve only been inspiring because of the huge success of the original Star Wars movies. The Prequels, without them somehow being Star Wars, would’ve probably been forgotten by now.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Me too. It’s very stylish. Like Palpy’s pantaloons.

    It would be my 5th special mug (as in, not a plain mug). I already have a Joker mug, one I stole from the Deathstar canteen and two Krtek mugs.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Is this the one Mike filmed?

  • I don’t think so. It doesn’t feature enough booze.

  • I do hope it’ll be sent by Joaqin “Wizard” Pheonix and we’ll get to see the envelope.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I love Mike’s maniacally demented drunk behavior these days. I think it might be somehow connected to that fleece sweater. The symptoms started to show when he first wore it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YFyu9aAZow&feature=youtu.be&t=40s

  • bleurgh

    The Martian might be the most boring movie I have ever seen. A total snooze fest beginning to end. If you dislike Interstellar for its length and pacing you will hate this movie. If you have the choice see Everest instead. It’s by far the less dull survival movie out at the moment.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    This game kicked all kinds of asses.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Magic

  • dollar store cashier wife

    never stop mario-posting.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    lol,nope. They’ll probably review some turd instead.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    skyfall wasn’t serious.

  • Ah yes, the fleece sweater of drunkenness. It feeds the wearer alcohol through the skin.

  • Prodigy

    It had some issues….but overall it is great, yes!

  • Now I Get It

    Opiates. They’re romantic and the easiest to kick once the high goes bad.

    But you will have to wait till Valentine’s Day. If you can.

  • Prodigy

    I don’t like Interstellar because of spacemagic…. you can make an emotional sci fi movie about finding earth 2.0 without trying to be a second Kubrick for the poor man.

  • bleurgh

    Well do you like endless discussions about food rationing, aeronautical equations, pr management and hexadecimal code? Because that’s the Martian. I wanted to fucking kill myself.

  • Prodigy

    Dont know the “Martian”. But you can make interesting heart string pulling sci-fi movies without pseudo religious space magic stuff that’s what I believe.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    they make it on a Cotton Gin.

  • It’s an RPG and I can’t help myself but to do everything see everything in an RPG. I had a decent level and I figured out the curse thing with the gosts but one appeared from underneath the floor and pushed me off the ledge and I just had enough. Trial and error grinding is not my thing really. So I just lost all joy playing anotherwise likable game. It just became a task and I felt that I was mining in WOW or leveling the last levels to get to a 100 in Skyrim. I’ve put in 30-35 hours and I know what I think of this game now. This is all I feel I do all the time in the game and I don’t think it’s a masterpiece in gameplay that everyone told me it was. And when I finally figured out this new place I became really exited but falling of that edge one last time… I just knew I had to quit. Quit and not come back.

    I have a trainer to cheat in the game. I tried it out and it works but then what is the point playing it.

    I’ll try Dark Souls 2. But I’ll get it from Red Box. Those Japs wont trick me twice!!! They ain’t getting my dollar!!!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    “You tell me who’s got a dirty motivator now, you fucker.” – Rich Evans

  • Niccageshair

    Maybe but as RLM favorite Cameron Mitchell said “We are all whores in this business”(This is a real quote)

  • Asi

    I have discovered an interview with the director and a brief scene from the set of everest in this variety show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xk1wlCqphqE&feature=youtu.be&t=13m1s

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Faux News is a dumb dumb head.

    http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-10-06/fox-news-anchor-claims-australians-have-no-freedom/6831618

    In Australia you can own any gun you want including insane things like grenade launchers and tanks. You just have to prove.
    1. You have a legal and sensible reason.
    2. You’re not crazy or a criminal.
    3. It is kept secured from crazy people and criminals.
    Is that really to much to ask?

  • Palpatine

    I’d say those are pretty fair gun laws.

  • Would you say he’s alcoholism is… peaking? That it has reached a new level of… height? That he is going… down hill? That his drinking a… mounts to nothing and that he should let it for… ever… rest? That he’s on a… permanent… booze cruise? No wait that last part was about curly hair and Scientology/boats! DAMN! Jokes are so… hard. Like my penis!

  • Palpatine

    Wait language are they speaking?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Yeah but to be fair to Faux then we have crazy ones like no AirSoft.TM.

  • tOmy`

    But what if I am crazy person who doesn’t want to be a sitting duck? Can I have my flamethrower now? For personal protection, you know.

    Also: Look at that daft prick bagging those votes like a pro.

  • tOmy`

    I assume it is Hungarian.

    EDIT: Nope, Icelandic.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Crazy people don’t need weapons. they have god on their side.

  • tOmy`

    This is amazing.

  • tOmy`

    You know, if this is US, at least half of these people are probably packin’ heat.

    Just saying…

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    It’s headed toward winter there in the magic faraway land of Milwaukee. They’re just gearing up for ….January

  • It wasn’t called a cotton gin for nothing.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    What was that other Mtn climbing movie? The one with Robin and some other famous folks..

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Yes.

  • Like Icare

    Yes.

  • Like Icare

    No matter what he does or how the times change Will Smith will always remain remembered as Cypher Raige – the man with no expression.

  • Like Icare

    Heat packs are like little pillows of magic in the winter.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Mike loves old people.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Is this a Harmony Korine film?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No, it’s not. It’s good but overrated for sure.

  • The walk and I hope it’ll be a glorious disaster.

  • Me riki vely much! Are you looking 4ward to Fallout 4?

  • instant relief

    I’m an atheist, but still crazy. How do you explain that?

  • I have a good reason to own a tank, we all do. Those japs are everywhere!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Can I own Margot Robbie?

  • Red Skeleton

    Puppies

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You ain’t Tapeworm!

  • Red Skeleton

    Sorry, but I’ve realized I had a streak of only saying cynical things when I comment on the latest videos, so I thought I’d get that out of the way.

    Anywho:

    Wow, two days and they STILL haven’t posted the second half of this video, which they obviously chose to split into a multi-parter to create the illusion of content, like they did with… uh… that Marvel movie and Pixels a few months back.

  • Red Skeleton

    I’m trying to be happier

  • Atheist? I thought we dealt with you in the S.O.S BotW! You lost!

    #bhawahahahaa

  • Palpatine

    I want to own Bryce Dallas Howard.

  • instant relief

    No, my name is not J.J. Abrams!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    She ain’t Australian!

  • Red Skeleton
  • Error 403: Forbidden.

  • Red Skeleton

    Really, it worked for me… uh

  • Red Skeleton
  • Wizard Phoenix

    OH GOD! NOT THAT!

  • tOmy`

    We have been all pretty bitchy lately.

    I personally blame the lack of upcoming festivals, sun, booze, weed and social interactions as the key factors of my grumpiness.

    Now the nostalgic, melancholic Autumn is opening up its anus and inviting me in for a bit of fucking around till the first snow comes and allows me to get wasted in different temperatures.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Flash has a HUGE bulge. It’s distracting.

  • Palpatine

    Alcohol keeps your blood warm. ‘Tis a fact.

  • Palpatine

    Why were you looking at it in the first place?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They focused on it in the show.

  • Palpatine

    You got to appeal to the gays somehow.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    And the ladies. Don’t forget who watch the CW the most.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Seen it today and it’s not bad at all. Didn’t Mike gave a pass to Flight in one of the HiTB recaps?

  • Brian Levine

    Hey, there’s a reason he’s called The Flash.

  • Brian Levine

    Well, I’m sure that there are no crazy people or criminals in Australia.

  • Palpatine

    Robin Williams will be remembered for many things. That film is not one of them.

  • Brian Levine

    I’m just disappointed in Matt Damon. If you get the opportunity to kill Matthew McConaughey and fail, then you deserve to die.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Didn’t you make Cleared for Take Off?

  • Mark Bisone

    Sounds decent enough, but I doubt it will surpass Renny Harlin’s ’93 masterpiece “Cliffhanger” in quality or body count. I’m pretty sure Stallone murdered a crook from every continent up there, as well as a jive talkin’ rapist and Johnny Lithgow. But I repeat myself.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Cliffhanger blows.

  • Mark Bisone

    … away the competition?

  • Bubs

    Hell yes! Who isn’t? I’m trying to get things out of the way so I have a clear schedule for when it drops.

  • I hear ya. You would not want a family member to get in the way of the game.

  • Aw man, you just had to! Didn’t ya?

  • Give me an F
    Give me an L
    Give me an U
    Give me an B
    Give me an B
    Give me an E
    Give me an R

    What does it spell? CANCER!

  • Palpatine

    The only Renny Harlin film I like is Nightmare on Elm Street 4.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yeah I’m in that boat too.

  • Palpatine

    He’s one of those big budget schlock directors that everyone loves for some reason.

  • Really? Die Hard 2 was solid. So was A long kiss goodnight

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Die Hard 2 ironically is not solid.

  • Palpatine

    I just like to pretend that Die Hard has no sequels. Plus, I’ve never seen any of them, thank God.

  • Like Icare

    Indeed. A Long Kiss Goodnight is a masterpiece.

    And no matter what others say, I just can’t get myself to hate on Cutthroat Island.
    It’s a far more entertaining pirate movie than that shlocky Depp franchise.

  • Like Icare

    It’s something about aerodynamics and air resistance and drag.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    A Long Kiss Goodnight is well written not well directed.

  • Like Icare

    Nah… It’s both. Plus it has an excellent cast, with great chemistry.
    Doesn’t hurt that he was married to Davis at the time and it is basically his “How awesome is my girl? This awesome!” movie.

  • TapewormBike
  • Like Icare

    He had a camera?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “Hey, homeless man! You have a camera! Film this shit!”

  • Like Icare

    What about this instructional video?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StmxHCDiLlQ

  • So, you don’t even know if it’s good or not? Noted.

  • Like Icare

    I know a couple of mountains that used to be gods.
    Three-headed dragon gods of the underworld, death, magic, music, wealth, cattle…

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veles_%28god%29

    Talk about being demoted…

  • Like Icare
  • let’s have more creepy fan art!

  • Like Icare

    How sexy was Joan Severance in that movie? AMIRIGHT?!

  • Like Icare

    They say “Jump!”, you say “How high?”

  • Like Icare
  • Like Icare

    Speaking of depth charges…

    Remember that time when L. Ron Hubbard (Yes. This.) “hunted” Japanese submarines, then did his best to start a war with Mexico during WW2?

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_PC-815#Claims_of_submarine_contact_off_Cape_Lookout

  • Mugato

    Die Hard 2 was retarded, especially the ending with the eternal flame that served as a runway. The Long Kiss Goodnight however was pretty good.

  • It wasn’t nearly as retarded as 4 or 5.

  • Niccageshair

    Die Hard won’t have any true sequels until they bring back Alan Rickman as an undead Hans Gruber to once again take the Nakatomi Plaza.(If this happens I will be first in line)

  • Niccageshair

    The last 30-45 mins of With a Vengeance is pretty stupid as well.

  • Like Icare

    Speaking of surrendering and APCs…

    Back in the days of war in Croatia, soldier by the name of Vladimir Zivkovic took a BVP M-80 armored IFV from the Vukovar front back to Belgrade, parked it in front of the Parliament and then calmly and in orderly fashion surrendered to the military police. Got 11 months of jail time for it.

    https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/sh/2/27/Tenk_ispred_skupstine.JPG

  • Like Icare

    “Hey, elderly man!…”

  • I watched Dredd, I was disappointed by how much CG there was in that movie. The movie itself was good but I wish it had more practical effects because it looked like a fan-made short made for the internet at times.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I love Dredd. Computer generated gore at it’s best

  • Like Icare

    Whaaaaa…

    I don’t know.
    I’ve seen it in the theater (and several times later after that, at home) and I had no issues with CGI in it.
    Never felt like it was excessive or inappropriate, and the movie simply has that “right” feel to it of a “no nonsense” action movie.

    On a side note, yesterday was lovely Olivia Thirlby’s birthday.
    It still is in some parts of the world.

  • Palpatine

    Now you know how I felt about Kung Fury.

    *Apologies to anyone who likes Kung Fury.

  • YES. THIS.

  • Peter Pumpkinator

    SHACKLETON (2002) with Kenneth Branagh; is the name of the movie about the South Pole expedition by the ship THE ENDURANCE. Its a great movie, here is the IMDB link:

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0272839/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_18

  • tOmy`

    Hey! That’s my job, toad!

  • It looks bad. It’s a fine movie but it’s a shame they couldn’t afford to use practical effects.

  • tOmy`

    I think they only problem I had with that movie were the rainbow-y effects during slomo scenes.

    I liked the idea of combining slomo drug into the bullet-time effect, but some of those effects were bit meh.

  • bleurgh

    Less than the U.S. You know, the country with the most convicted felons and worst mental health-care system in the world.

  • bleurgh

    His 30 min character arc in that movie is better than his entire role in The Martian.

  • bleurgh

    Right, well the Martian makes the case that no, actually, you can’t

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I like both equally. Jay liked the gore effects and Mike didn’t really say anything one way or another. Dredd is another movie that gets better for me every time.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I thought those scenes were superbly done. Very druggish.

  • Like Icare

    You know… that movie predicted one thing right.
    Communication using memes.

    http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20141115094314/disney/images/8/88/Flubber-Mickey_Rooney.jpg

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Vertical Limit is the name of the movie with Chris O’Donnel.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vertical_Limit

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Dredd was WAAAYYYY better than Kung Furry..

  • RLMkeepitup

    did it taste like baking soda

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Yes, yes it did… Going to try again tonight 🙂

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You were disappointed that it didn’t end like Blood Debts.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Lena Headey is also lovely. Don’t forget about her and her faaaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccceeeeee

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Palpatine

    I don’t get it.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Palpatine

    Yeah, I don’t watch anime.

  • “Judge Dredd, age 45, gave himself up to
    the authorities after the incident. He is now serving a life
    sentence.”?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Even if you don’t you should watch this show because it’s one of the best ever made. And I mean TV shows in General.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE MAMA DAMMMIT! HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW THAT?!
    -Super Nerd.

  • It’s the only anime I can stand.

    *apart from hentai.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yeah the DVD’s are easy to stand on.

  • Ba-dun-tsss!

  • Make a Star Wars crawl out of it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Also I heard music from the show in the Episode III Review.

  • Which one? I haven’t watched the reviews in a while.

  • Palpatine

    So it’s not just jerk off material for fat, smelly, perverts who live in their mothers basements?

  • I’d be down for watching Everest. I’d like to see The Martian, too. I work at a movie theater so I get to watch movies for FREE, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    As someone who peddles tubs of popcorn and overpriced water bottles ($4?!?!?! What the FUCK?!) I’m the only part of the movie-going experience that matters.

  • No, it’s not just for Rich Evans.

  • Palpy, take it from me– ‘Cowboy Bebop’ makes for fantastic television.
    It’s incredibly cinematic and it draws on lots of American pop culture to create its universe.
    I’d actually recommend that every on this webzone at least give it a try.

  • As I said below in Wizard’s comment thread, I really, really love ‘Cowboy Bebop’ and I’d recommend it for everyone, including the anime-averse.
    The ending makes me shed manly tears. In fact, forget the “manly” part. They’re just tears.

  • Palpatine
  • instant relief

    No Ghost in the Shell or Akira? How dare you call yourself a… maggit!?!

  • RLMkeepitup

    as long as regal cinemas exists, the human race can never be free

  • I’m part of the problem.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Americans have always been willing to trade some cash for convenience, blame ourselves, we must

  • Palpatine
  • This drawing is 70’s-era sexist.

  • Palpatine

    *sexy

  • If it was 70’s-era SEXY, she’d have a huge bush.


    …wait, were we talking about anime?

  • Akira has a barely coherent plot. I could get into GitS but never got round to it.

  • ‘Serial Experiments Lain’ has a decidedly INcoherent plot, but I still appreciate it for its mind-fuckery.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No it’s not.

  • Palpatine

    That’s good to know.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    There’s an extremely attractive main character.

  • Asi

    That would be Icelandic.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

  • Palpatine

    Yeah, not as good as the real one, I know.

  • Palpatine

    So speaking of The Martian, does anyone remember Red Planet and Mission to Mars, two films about people getting stranded on Mars that both happened to come out in the year 2000? Yeah, me neither.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Also because Spike didn’t bang Faye is why I cried.

  • RLMkeepitup

    i can never forget tim robbins drifting off alone and leutinant Dan’s rondevus with aliens. the other one had a robot and val kilmer. what about ghosts of mars?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    We have a space movie pattern:
    2012-Prometheus
    2013-Gravity
    2014-Interstellar
    2015-The Martian

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Regal ain’t bad. AMC is clearly the best next to the Cedar Lanes Cinema. The worst is Cinemark.

  • bleurgh

    There was also Ghosts of Mars that came out in 2001. The Martian was so fucking terrible it actually made me long for and gave me a whole new appreciation of Mission To Mars.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Sooo since we have our Space Movie pattern what is 2016’s big space movie?

  • RLMkeepitup

    the force awakens special edition

  • Palpatine

    The film directed by the skeleton formerly known as John Carpenter?

  • instant relief

    The first movie is a milestone. But the rest is horseshit.
    Akira got an awesome atmosphere tho. The plot is a mess I agree. They tried to cram too much stuff into it.

    Anyways those are the only animes I really enjoy. All the others have been disappointing.

  • But he did “Bang.”

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • bassbait

    2016: a space who-fucking-cares-anymore

  • bassbait

    Mission to Mars was great.

  • bassbait

    Ghosts of Mars has Anthrax starring Buckethead on the soundtrack. That makes it awesome but the fact that it was a terrible movie makes it terrible.

    So I guess it was awerrible.

  • bassbait

    I’m more anime-averse than you could possibly imagine.

  • bassbait

    The best TV show is Xavier: Renegade Angel. Smells exactly like my ass.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Who are you? Why are you pointlessly rude? Why do you live alone and are not banging Yvonne Strahovski like me?

  • bassbait

    Batman and Robin?

  • bassbait

    “most convicted felons” but honestly, I’m curious how much of that is a result of the war on drugs?

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Cowbot Bebob SUCKS…..!!!!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    You should read the Manga! It explains everything. Akira the movies plot is hack and slash but the animation is fucking awesome

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Fresh (Gluten Free) banana bread on it’s way!
    Next up German Cabbage Rolls. Quick everyone put on your unwashed Lederhosen and grab the nearest beer!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I think RLM needs a cooking show, with me as the crazy Tattooed chef and Fragnon as my assistant. Drunken cooking at it’s best…

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Space Cop

  • bassbait

    Kpop is way too derivative of American culture. This feels like a Korean version of Gwen Stefani. That’s not meant to be an insult though, I like Gwen Stefani. I’d like the video better if it was less flashy though.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    It’s OK

  • RLMkeepitup

    movie execs: is space still relevant? how do we make space hip again

  • RLMkeepitup

    he said 2016 though

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I remember. They both sucked

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Wishful thinking huh..

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Prometheus shouldn’t be on that list. It shouldn’t be on any list for that matter

  • Cream-A-Thon

    It ain’t no Fifth Element, that’s for sure.

  • bassbait

    Walking Dead got boring after 2 and a half minutes.

  • bleurgh

    Nope, your drug laws aren’t really any different from most other countries.

  • bassbait

    Regardless, I can attest to the mental health-care system being shit. Goddamn looney bin wouldn’t even let me watch my RLM!

  • Menga music ey? Judge Dredd ey? Mashup ey? How come every time a menga reference turns up no one mentions The Rose of Versailles? This is bullshit. Bullshit!

  • Niccageshair

    Fun fact from Barry Sonnefield’s IMDB: “After refining his craft on several hard-core pornographic films” Gotta start somewhere I guess

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    No. It’s not supposed to be. The folks who made Dredd nailed the comic. It’s near perfect except for the lack of hippie Anti-Christs and fucked up mutants, God they need to give Dred another chance with entire crew

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I only liked the first one. After that shit I would retire, that puts and end to any sequels

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I stand by my rating of Dredd of 2 elements out of 5.
    Edit: And 2.5 elements for Laserblast.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Steve Jobs 3: The Search for Steve.

  • Cedric ‘Zen’ Johnson

    A movie about the world’s tallest mountain? You guys finally saw K2? It’s been out for almost 25 years, what took you so long?

  • I’m hoping for some Klingon action in Star Trek 3: The Reboot Franchise.

  • Niccageshair

    I thought this was RLM’s cooking show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKxhI4I5kq8

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    thinking crazy things is one of the problems of being crazy.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I mean non Space Opera crap. Rogue One don’t count either.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hey, can you understand America Online for Internet?

  • Niccageshair

    I just got one of their CD’s, now how do I get the internet?

  • RLMkeepitup

    Rich everyone on twitch is playing star wars battlefront. don’t you wanna be like the cool kids?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Flash Gordon. but only if they make it gayer than the 80’s version. and they have to use the song.
    https://youtu.be/gNIVpMXHqlk

  • Crixxxx

    Insert the disc into the floppy drive. Point your computer toward the giant satellite dish in Toronto and hit the flashbar repeatedly until the wizard waves. Then you’re on the internet.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I think Matthew Vaughn is working on a new Flash Gordon film.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    yep. 2016 summer date at the moment.

  • Palpatine
  • Popo Bawa

    Mount Everest. Forbidding, aloof, terrifying. The mountain with the biggest tits in the world.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Yes that

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I would but my mum wont buy it for me.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    So how good will the video game tie-in of Everest be and who should produce it? I’d like to see an old-school side scroller but I know people yearn for cut scenes where they can press ‘x’ to pay respects for the dead that players come across.

  • CynicalOptimist22 .

    And we have our first Oscar nominee.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Vao5rn7OHPo

  • Alex Lee

    I just wish Regal had a wider selection. Then, I would go because they have a decent awards program, which AMC doesn’t have.

  • Alex Lee

    The most frustrating part was when that guy got shot in the head at point blank and it was a digital squib. The lack of brain matter on (was it the lady Judge, I don’t remember) really bothered me.

  • Domo

    I personally wouldn’t mind an Everest video game where you have to take on the responsibility of finding the dead bodies and somehow carry them down the mountain without dying yourself.

    Some families will pay more for more dangerous missions, others offer supplies or a sherpa in exchange for a beloved corpse. You might even get to keep the clothes!

    Sigh. No wonder EA never wanted to hire me.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    That was gold. I did want to know why the clearly female doll kept getting erections, then the joke payed off. 5 out of 5.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    if you make that as an app you will make a million.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Whatever the result I’d want to be told I died of “Climbing a Fucking Mountain in the First Place. Why did you do that?”

  • Domo

    That’s explained in the interactive tutorial, but no one ever does the tutorial. We all know this! So you’ll be playing the whole time never knowing why, and barely knowing how.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Or a Grand Theft Auto type open world. where if you attack other climbing party’s and steal their supply’s you can climb faster.

  • Domo

    Now there’s a game. Pick up random pick axes and flashlights along the way to bludgeon people faster! Do it without using an oxygen tank for an achievement!

  • < After quitting my office job one year ago, I was blessed to get familiar with this amazing freelance job opportunity on internet that was a life-saver… They hire people to work from home. Last check after being on this job for them for four months was 10000 dollars… Cool thing about it was that the only requirement for the job is simple typing skills and connection to the internet… >

    http://www.webworkreviweshomebasedjobs.blogspot.com

    177

  • WrongWithYourFace

    So what you’re saying is that Mike is the Quiet of booze.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Can there be a ‘Donner Party’ Achievement if you take a bite out of every frozen corpse on the mountain?

  • Pluto

  • Domo

    Only if this picture accompanies the achievement.

    http://i.imgur.com/7ybvUGr.jpg

  • CynicalOptimist22 .

    No doubt.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    The spam really can’t count can they?
    10,000 divided by 4 months is $2,500 a month. that’s less than the average wage in my country.

  • Red Skeleton

    Can there be an achievement for revenge-killing another player with their own climbing spike called “Hoist By Your Own Piton”?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Yes, yes there can.

  • tOmy`
  • tOmy`

    Oh yea! Some artsy indie point and click with a little bit of crafting mechanics. Could work.

  • tOmy`

    I think I saw Red Planet, but I totally recall only one good movie about Mars.

    BA-DUM-TS

  • Like Icare

    I was referring more to Thirlby’s birthday being yesterday.
    Incidentally, Lena Headay’s birthday was just last week.

  • tOmy`

    I know that I am about to get obvious, but Death Note was one of the best TV shows I have ever seen.

    Suck it, west.

  • Like Icare

    The other one also had Trinity. In Space.

    Sorry… IN SPACE!!!

    Oh, and bugs that fart oxygen.

  • m.youtube.com/watch?v=xEoCNPFmX4w

  • Like Icare

    Remember how MtM was directed by De Palma?

    And how Red Planet is the only directorial credit (apart from a short in 2014) for its director?

  • Like Icare
  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Prodigy

    Alien was not that bad if I remember correctly. we had the other planet, the crew, the ship. Everything there. But maybe if Ripley had cry over here daughter back at home nonstop the movie would have been better 1000 times right? Don’t shit me. -_-

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Old Tomb Raider games have aged about as well as special effects in Ed Wood films. People need to take off their rose colored glasses and replay them without nostalgia in 2015. The action/platforming/puzzles-everything is really fucking unintuitive and janky and it sure as hell ain’t that way on purpose. Tomb Raider reboot was trying to be Uncharted with tits. On that note it was a complete sucess.

  • instant relief

    Wood’ve been a boring morning without this. GET IT!?! Oh, God, please, let it end.

  • bleurgh

    At least she didn’t spend the whole fucking movie doing sums and debating science.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Oh, the horror.

  • RLMkeepitup

    but you already bragged about the average income there, use your employer allowance and remember yolo

  • Like Icare

    Oh… You’d need a LOT of those.
    And then you’d have to exchange them for Deutsche marks, preferably illegally, then smuggle the game in. Or have your family living “outside” bring it all in.

    And it’s not that by then there were really any such strict restrictions… though there WERE certain restrictions.
    It’s more that restrictions went hand in hand with the real reason for unavailability of such luxury items – lack of money.

    That stuff was expensive.
    Back then a color TV was something you bought on credit, paying it off over couple of years.
    And that was usually a local brand. Dream on ever buying a Japanese one… until couple of years later, when many restrictions to private enterprising were lifted and the market was flooded with Japanese and Korean tech.

    The other reason for looking for “working around the problem” and smuggling stuff in… it’s basically ingrained in the local culture to look for a way to fuck over “the man”. Or to bribe him.

    E.g. I remember reading some “your first technical/do-it-yourself” booklet/magazine for upper grades of elementary school “general technical education” (making stuff with tools and basics of technical drawing), back in… ’89?
    The issue was several years old and there is an article about ZX Spectrum in it.

    Which ends by informing kids and teachers of the issues regarding importing of that magical machine into Yugoslavia.
    Namely, its price was about twice the allowed amount that a private citizen could legally import.
    So, semi-official, endorsed by ministry of education, magazine suggests – take it apart (as in de-solder certain parts) and import them separately and then reassemble the computer back home. Or, have a cousin from abroad bring it in.

    On a side note…
    They recently made a movie sorta-kinda about making of that banknote, or more precisely the banknote it used to be before the devaluation.

    It’s crap.

    Haven’t seen it, nor do I plan to, but it will be forced on me in the years to come and from what I know of the local film production and the people involved with the movie – it’s crap.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPM-LN8OO3Y

    It’s completely fictional, production feels (and is) cheap while it boasts of being “the most expensive”, it’s clearly another loosely scripted (despite the 5 years spent in development of the script) faux comedy which relies on crude dick-fuck jokes (bonus points for adding a whore character to the main cast… not prostitute, whore) and then when dick-fuck jokes run out it becomes a drama of people shouting.

    And there may be political/fraud issues down the road, considering the filming location and who runs that town.

    Oh… and then there’s a song.
    Which I’m sure is there as some supposed Brechtian comment but in actuality it is just padding – there’s a trend here of stuffing theater productions with songs in the last decade or so. I blame the guy at 1:27.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=qPM-LN8OO3Y#t=86

    There is also a trend of hyperproduction of “talent”, as every village with a barn can be turned into a university and every university can have an “acting academy”.
    My, 130k citizen town, has one. And a film festival. Just like the big city, Sarajevo.

    Where you can still see burned out ruins from 20 years ago, there are water restrictions in the summer due to (illegal) overbuilding and no money spent on infrastructure since the war, and the entire place feels like… a slum with bits of glass to accentuate the slums. Despite all the money that pored in and is still poring in – besides foreign aid after the war, it has 2x multiplier in the budget.

    I.e. People living there are simply worth twice more than people living elsewhere.

  • bleurgh

    Maybe the objective of the game should be to find and burn the body of your friend, spouse or family-member who died during the last climbing season.

  • RLMkeepitup

    he really is like plinkett just higher pitch

  • instant relief

    How do you know it’ll be a horror movie? Maybe they’ll freshen things by changing the genre to fratboy stoner comedy or something.

    “The Shining of my Bong”

  • Brian Levine

    What? No mention of that Stallone piece of art Cliffhanger?

  • tOmy`

    I can’t agree with that, a matter of personal taste.

    I did however finish two walkthroughs of the latest one and it is a thing of beauty – even these let’s plays are like watching a movie. But I would still rather play the older ones.

  • Cream-A-Thon
  • dollar store cashier wife

    jankyness can work…if you’re playing an old school survival horror game or something. TR was supposed to be an action-adventure. You simply need to have tight and responsive controlls by default if you’re doing something like platforming. Old TR is the exact opposite of that.

  • Niccageshair
  • Niccageshair

    What do you mean my friends? My friends Ed Wood was a pioneer then and now. His refusal to make day and night consistent in even a single cut remains a cinematic touchstone. Also he wrote this:”Future events such as these will affect you in the future” A true genius.

  • Niccageshair

    Too bad they don’t give Stephen King a bunch of coke and let him direct it. It worked great the last time. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65GQg06SX90

  • tOmy`

    There is no stopping NASA:

    Apparently, there will be yet another “amazing” announcement on Thursday, this time concerning Pluto.

    “As Stern said, “2015 will be a year in textbooks forever,” as the year in which mankind discovered so much about its solar system.”

    Fuck yea.

  • Palpatine

    Oh no, that’s where my winter house is!

  • Niccageshair

    If you aren’t gravity assisting around Jupiter then you are running late, winter is right around the corner.

  • tOmy`

    Well, we can either argue about this or just call it a Mario and bitch about something else.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Nope, no mention

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    They were explicitly told NOT TO TALK ABOUT RUPERT!… Excuse me i have to make some.. long distance calls.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Also Neutrinos have mass. Yay Science!

  • tOmy`

    BTW: Tony Hawk Pro Skater 5 looks fucking awful. Thanks again, developers.

    I am off for couple of beers so when I get back, you lot better be entertaining.

  • Niccageshair

    I read this as Tom Hanks Pro Skater 5 and was both confused and intrigued.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s amazing how far this series has fallen down. Everyone loved the old THPS games and even Underground/American Wasteland games were pretty damn fun.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You’re going to need more than beer to make us entertaining.

  • Palpatine

    Is Tony Hawk still alive? He must be at least 80 by now.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    He is 183 in skater years. its all the broken bones.

  • Palpatine

    He’s probably telling his great-great-grandkids; “Back in my day, we used to use bundles of sticks with rocks attached to them as skateboards!”

  • tOmy`

    He is “only” 47. And I think he still skates.

    Although it seems that his last proper skating appearance was 2012.

  • Palpatine

    Does he need an oxygen tank attached to the skateboard?

  • I’ll show you my Warhammer figurines.

  • instant relief

    We had enough dick pix on this webzone commenting webzone.

  • bloodstock pussyclarts
  • Wizard Phoenix

    What are the odds? By the way for a lady who just had a baby she looks incredible.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    And your Wendy’s Ad.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    So a Mass Relay?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    We did but the movie sucks.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    James Vanderbilt is 129 years old.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Bryan Cranston Pro Skater 5
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RAzXKrMnNkk

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He’s so old I can smell his depends.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Sooooo Pan: nay or bigger nay?

  • ♪Stop, don’t touch, leave the area.♪

  • Marvin Falz

    If it’s racist and sexist to let the Japanese woman die, then it’s also racist and sexist to let the Japanese woman not die. Since this is a lose-lose situation, stories should be written without any characters at all. Replace people with animals. Or replace stories with CGI. Who cares about people anyway. And nobody needs to show their political correctness anymore.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I just want someone to tell me if Goofy’s a dog, or a person, or whatever the hell he turns out to be.

  • Palpatine

    The film with Robin Williams?

  • Such grace. Amazing.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    or just stop paying attention to Sensitive Joss Whedons on the internet.

  • Does that affect the Higgs Boson in any way?

  • Would you believe me if I told you he’s an anthropomorphic dog?

  • They’re trying their best not to get their funding cut. Maybe Trump will throw them a wad he hides under his wig.

  • Palpatine

    So I’m thinking about re-writing the Star Wars Prequels because I’m bored. Anyone got any ideas for me? And I mean real ideas, not joke ideas.

  • Close but there is no button prompt.

  • bloodstock pussyclarts

    is this an argument that someone actually made or are you getting mad at something that only exists in your own head?

    also consider the possibility that you are being trolled by mr plinketts cat using the vegas casino wifi

  • Koen Timmermans

    yes, i have some ideas.

  • Palpatine

    Let me hear ’em.

  • bloodstock pussyclarts

    i meant to reply to marvin faltz. i have an image that looks like your avatar on my computer, i took a picture from under a tree and then did replace colour on photoshop. did you do the same?

  • Palpatine

    Everything is racist and sexist nowadays.

  • Marvin Falz

    I thought re-writing is near impossible, so it would be better to start from scratch.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Movie should start with a ‘splosion.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No that’s Hook, an very underrated film. I’m talking Pan with Huge Jacked Man

  • Palpatine

    That’s technically what I meant.

  • Your stupid minds cannot comprehend the genius of Ed Wood. Stupid! Stuipid!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Naboo is the home of the Jedi and not a giant city planet.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You can’t fuck ’em if they’re dead.

  • Debatable.

  • Palpatine

    Hook also stars Dustin Hoffman, who was also in Ishtar! Ha ha ha ha ha, I’m sooooo funny, I made an Ishtar reference!!!

  • Palpy, what’s wrong? It’s like you’ve become bitter after that ban. Why be bitter about that and not about Darth Vader throwing you into a huge ass shaft?

  • Palpatine

    How old should Anakin be? I was thinking he should be around 13 or something.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Yanno starting with a teenage Anakin would make it like, poetry, cos Lukes a teenager when we meet him, too.

  • Palpatine

    Hey, it’s because of the RLM Reddit I got banned. You want to see endless Ishtar references, just go there.

  • Marvin Falz

    I got the avatar from somewhere on the internet.

    I think the argument is quite logical, because the focus is on “Japanese” and “woman”. That’s why it’s racist and sexist either way. The rest of the argument went from there, since focusing on characters this way is totally irrelevant, except in movies about racism and sexism.

  • You can make him 13 but skip to him becoming a teenager before the first episode ends. Make his training like a montage or something.

  • Palpatine

    Isn’t 13 a teenage year?

  • Ugh. Sorry I meant to write make him around 18 before the movie ends. Also, make your own motives clearer to the audience if the trade federation plot is to stay.

  • Marvin Falz

    Show Anakin in training with Yoda and Obi-Wan. We need to see their relationships and the good friendship between Obi and Anakin.

  • Marvin Falz

    Yes, ditch that. If you want to show diversity and a world without any sort of isms do it the
    Star Trek way, where only the color of your shirt is a disadvantage. Oh …

  • Get ready for blue squid girl on human male action!

  • Hey, they fixed it in TNG…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hanar or Reaper squid?

  • Hanar of course, silly.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Jeffrey Dahmer proved that right.

  • Marvin Falz

    Lol, now they’re all wearing red …

    I’ve never watched more than a few TNG episodes. Is there anything similar like the red shirts or did they leave that part out altogether?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hey, you’re not Mike!

  • The redshirts now wear yellow. And they die instead.

  • Marvin Falz

    Awesome! I mean, that’s very tragic, TNG should never be shown again.

  • Niccageshair

    No home for Jedi, They should be essentially wandering Ronin.

  • Like Icare

    He’s a dog. But Goofy is his slave name. His real name is Dippy Dawg.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goofy#Appearances

  • TapewormBike

    No Jedi at the center of the story. Fuck Vader.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Joss sucks

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Which was true

  • Marvin Falz

    And little or no show of lightsabres please.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Thank you. That was very informative. I love Animation history 🙂

  • Marvin Falz

    Basically, ditch everything unnecessary. Keep a handful of important characters and tell a story of a guy who rises and falls in his profession. Write a non-selfaware Star Wars.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Boil it down to one character and have it be like Castaway with that one character having to survive the Junland wastes (on Tatooine) and all of the trials and tribulations therein…

  • TapewormBike

    So, basically every single thing we told him is – write a completely different story.

  • TapewormBike

    Is Finland actually a part of Scandinavia? Like, I know where it is, I just think it was defined weirdly. But I suck at Gayography

  • Palpatine

    Ask Omitted, he should know.

  • Palpatine

    That sounds like the plot to The Martian.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    No. I think you can say Fennoscandia if you really must shove Finland into it.

  • TapewormBike

    Oh that would be great, where every single answer to a problem is – magic!

  • TapewormBike

    Knew it. Can I get that cookie now?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yes. Or a pipari.

  • TapewormBike

    That better be an euphemism

  • TapewormBike

    I’d say go with Skillet.

  • Palpatine

    *Midichlorians

  • Marvin Falz

    *Heroin

  • Wizard Phoenix

    YouTube people in the shower?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkrFsjcdIao

  • Palpatine

    Dan Schinder is a pedophile. It’s a fact.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Dan “Get in The Van “Schneider”

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Can it, 86, and get back to bass… base… bass…

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Palpatine

    Drake and Josh was the only show of his that I liked

  • TapewormBike

    That’s not a nice thing to say about a fat creepy looking guy.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Wrong video hold on.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well there’s a reason he keeps making children’s shows.

  • Palpatine

    Can you blame him? Josh Peck is one sexy beast.

  • TapewormBike

    I dunno, I have seen that rumour before, seemingly based on the fact that he’s the opposite of attractive and hangs around lotsa young girls. So, yeah. Huh.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    At least he didn’t give them New Coke

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJoocpy7UBc

  • Would like a buttery base with that? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IfeyUGZt8nk

  • Wizard Phoenix

    When the end of the world happens I’m fighting to this song.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nd1EfVlRYEw

  • Like Icare

    12 more years (11 and change actually) and Dippy Dawg is public domain.
    13 and change for Goofy.

    It’s gonna get interesting at about that time (or sooner) as Goofy is trademarked as Goofy – but can’t be trademarked as Dippy Dawg as well, which is the original version of that character.

    Either way, Goofy goes public while remaining a trademark.

    Hijinks ensue.

  • Like Icare

    We’re gonna need a longer song.

  • Cream-A-Thon
  • What about the second cumming of Jesus?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    That’s how the fire gets put out.

  • Like Icare
  • instant relief

    This music aids me strongly.

  • instant relief
  • TapewormBike

    There is something supremely demotivating about writing a motivational letter. Yeah, mountain with people on it, whatever,

  • Like Icare

    In the Scorsese version he cums more than twice…

  • Like Icare

    It ain’t pedophilia if the girls menstruate… It’s just the way nature intended it to be.

  • TapewormBike

    You don’t know what a line is, do you? Just a quick geometry thought.

  • Like Icare

    Yeah, but what about right now?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyRHXbDOj6A

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh I know what song to follow

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHSIsH63c0Y

  • Like Icare

    Is that another new coke reference?
    There’s one just a few comments down from here.

  • Like Icare

    No! Don’t give yourself up to authorities! That NEVER solves anything.

  • This was so freaking fake. You could tell Jay and Mike weren’t even on the actual mount Everest

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Well, after some research I don’t know what the big deal is about Mt Everest. K2 is clearly more dangerous and foreboding. Also the first team to attempt K2 had Aleister Crowley with them.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K2

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    They weren’t really there?!?!

  • KEWL, EVEN GOD THE LAZERSOUNDS! Why the caps? Cus NOISE!

  • TapewormBike

    That’s pretty interesting. (insert cock analogy here)

  • Like Icare

    On top of that (HA!) the road to K2 starts at a place called Askole.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Askole

    First you get to askole, and then you go in and upward.

  • Like Icare

    Interesting like a photo of Crowley soaking his cock and balls in a pool up the Karakoram range?

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    You have to be an Askole to climb K2

  • Like Icare

    Not necessarily, but it’s recommended.

    After all… You gotta beat that 1 out of 4 dead ratio somehow.
    Best to just push someone else off a cliff early on and get the statistics of it in your favor.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Looks warm up there. This photo was taken on the expedition with Crowley.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K2#/media/File:K2_East_Face_1909.jpg

    here’s another from that expedition
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K2#/media/File:K2_West_1909.jpg

  • Like Icare

    It ain’t the heat. It’s the humidity. And Yetis.

  • Like Icare

    You mean “the will of the Force”?

  • Palpatine

    What would you guys say is the best film trilogy? Besides the Original Star Wars Trilogy, because that’s the obvious one.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Here’s the “Beast” himself on K2

  • Wizard Phoenix

    There’s a Power Rangers reboot happening. Why didn’t I hear about this and how can we kill it?

  • Palpatine

    Tell Childs to the get the flamethrower.

  • RLMkeepitup

    evil dead is another good set. I like the first 3 alien movies

  • RLMkeepitup

    hey it was mildly popular between 10-15 years ago, what did you expect?

  • Palpatine

    Can’t argue with the Evil Dead trilogy, but wow, Alien 3?

  • RLMkeepitup

    It has a unique tone because the crew is almost in mutiny already and the creature is more brutally portrayed in its movements. It has its flaws.. the special edition adds some cool scenes.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Lord of The Rings.

  • Palpatine

    Hell yeah!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    They are not technically a trilogy

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    None. All of the “trilogies” became bloated sacks of “sextilogies”,

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I say we take off an nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

  • Niccageshair

    The Dollars movies, not technically a trilogy but close enough.

  • Bubs

    Sorry to disappoint you, but Power Rangers have had a reboot every year since 1993.

    Ninjas… dinosaurs… in space… under the sea… race cars…

    Pretty impressive for a tv show which exists just to sell toys.

  • Palpatine

    Not all of them.

  • RLMkeepitup

    well the second evil dead is kind of a remake I guess, I thought about that too

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Actually I think all of its in the same continuity.

  • RLMkeepitup

    do you think john carpenter could do another thing like george miller did with fury road and that it could be better?

  • instant relief

    I’ll be hiding in my fridge.

  • Niccageshair

    I would argue that the last 10 minutes of every power rangers episode is fantastic. It’s just goofy perspective shots of two guys in rubber suits rubbing up against each other.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Unfortunately they have a friend of Michael Bay directing I think.

  • bloodstock pussyclarts

    this, and boss nass should be on the jedi council

  • Palpatine

    Just to let you guys know, I’m going to Universal Studios in Orlando from November 9th to the 13th, I’m so hyped!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    With Fire?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    The indiana jones trilogy, because in my opinion there are only three indiana jones movies.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    yeah its clearly filmed in the Andes.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    No it means that neutrinos have a little Boson in them.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I love that move.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    When i’m blasting my way across the Australian desert in the last of the RB30e Skylines. hunting people for their supplies. I want this song… just to fuck with people’s heads.

    https://youtu.be/I_izvAbhExY

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    No. Its a whole thing.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well, at least it’s not Men at Work.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    if you ask nicely and respect him after.

  • Palpatine

    Carpenter’s done with films. He just lets people remake his stuff just so he can get a paycheck.

  • instant relief

    …but who will be running the Senate?

  • instant relief

    Let’s just kill it with Australia!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    jar jar.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Steady on, thats a bit over kill.

  • instant relief

    Dellow Felegates …

  • instant relief

    Australia is that black hole from Interstellar. It just devours time and space.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    and torrents.

  • instant relief

    Nooooooooooooooooooo. I need my torrents. Where else am I gonna pirate my Space Cop cam rip?

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Please refresh my non-memory

  • Palpatine

    I guess you could count the Godfather trilogy.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    No, because in the 80’s the network created a mini-series. It was a “Major Television Event”

  • Palpatine

    Let me guess, you hate the Godfather series?

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    No, I love it. It just gets thrown into sextilogy land. My favorite series of books is Dune by Frank Herbert. They = 6

  • Palpatine

    You even love the third one?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Vader becomes the Emperor Pro Tem when Palpatine is indisposed or otherwise unavailable. Succession thereafter is determined by the outcome of pod racing heats.

  • Palpatine

    Yeah, but he died ten minutes after he threw me down the mineshaft.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Commodus

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Yes. God-Emperor is a philosophical bridge between the two continuum of the original six Dune books. I love that book

  • Palpatine

    I meant the third Godfather film.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Palpy’s at the Imperial old folks home..near the spice mines of Kessel

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I don’t remember it clearly, but it did seem to be dragging its feet by then. The damn TV miniseries fucked it all up for me…

  • Palpatine

    I’m actually watching Gladiator for the first time right now.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Do not watch The Starving Games on Netflix!

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Try not to fuck up any Galactic Republics while you are there. Also, Harry Potter attraction is kind of fun. Not a big fan of the films or books, but visually neat.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    “Florida man arrested for killing padawans.” headline inbound.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Shoot straight you Aussie slime! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BI7KJnRlsS4

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Meh. they were war criminals. The only reason to be pissed off about that is that the man who signed the death warrant was the same man that gave the order to kill prisoners.
    IMPEACH KITCHENER!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • WrongWithYourFace

    What’s wrong with your pupils?!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Part time. Or more like a slang word. But it’s also one of these: http://www.lily.fi/sites/lily/files/user/6600/2013/12/2013_315.jpg

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I know. I look like a junkie.
    There is no UV protection between Australia and the sun. eventually the eyes addapt… or melt.

  • Tracey Herrera

    I’ve made 52,000
    dollars so far this year w0rking 0nline and I am a full time student.

    I am using an 0nline business opportunity I heard about and
    I’ve made such great m0ney.
    It’s really user friendly and
    I’m just so happy that I found out about it.

    Here is what I’ve been doing…

    http://www.buzzfeedmakeyourwaytosuccess88.blogspot.com

    165

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Recruit more pimps, more pushers
    -Bill

  • TapewormBike

    Wooo! No, but, seriously – woooooo!

  • TapewormBike

    What a handsome little fella. And there’s a snake, too.

  • TapewormBike

    I choose to believe those are men’s asses in panties. The world is a better place that way.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Thatss not verry nicssse.. hiss.

  • TapewormBike

    Not speaking of Spectre, this is damn cool I think and better than the OG version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsEZ1jvjTB0

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    1 minute in and i’m sold. in a good way.
    then it just kicked off… can i buy 2?

  • instant relief

    Let me guess, it died on your head 4 weeks ago and you just noticed it today before taking your bimonthly shower?!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Bimonthly!? DO you think i’m made of water!

  • instant relief

    Yeah, approximately 60%.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    45 liters!? I’M RICH!

  • instant relief

    That gets you a whole continent on Arrakis. Or tons of spice.

  • instant relief

    Are you not entertained?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I prefer my Dunes at the beach and my spice from Kessel.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    SOOOO…
    Just watching the NATO press conference live…. are you declaring war on Russia or are you friends… You’re confusing me!

  • Amontillado

    Everything.

  • tOmy`

    I follow Power Rangers on Facebook and it is shocking how alive this thing still is. There are trivias, quizzes, some new… Power Rangers… or something. I never realized how big it is.

  • tOmy`

    Justified.

  • tOmy`

    Very good.

    And Homme should play next Bond.

  • instant relief

    Is that a Star Wars reference? NERD!

  • instant relief

    Quel homme?

  • instant relief

    Don’t you have anything better to do? Like killing your neighbors for their water?

  • My ex wife
  • instant relief

    Oui, oui, trés bien!

  • TapewormBike
  • dollar store cashier wife

    http://www.metacritic.com/tv/fargo/season-2

    Watch out Tommy cuz Mr.Robot is about to get shat on.(no but seriously I can’t wait for this)

  • tOmy`

    I will allow it.

  • tOmy`

    “I tried to get home with my downies” – Dylan Moran on rap music

  • tOmy`

    Also: Evil Dead should start soon (citation needed), Black Sails have trailer for 3rd season (January), Better Call Saul will most likely be the best shit ever again, Twin Peaks is happening soon… while HBO hopes that the next season of Veep is gonna be funny and running scared from anything True Detective-related.

    HBO overlords getting spanked, yo.

  • tOmy`

    Let the UK be inspiration to us all: if you head over to http://www.prasomrd.cz (translation: pigfucker), you gonna get redirected to the pages of our president.

    As my friend put it: I am glad that political satire, main export article of Czech Republic, is still alive.

  • tOmy`

    “Back in June, HEALTH played a concert at The Dome Tuffnell Park in London, England, where they did “Stonefist”, their Death Magic single. A new live video directed by Giorgio Testicaptures that performance in 8k resolution on a single camera. According to a press release, it’s the first live concert film to be shot in such a manner.”

    http://pitchfork.com/news/61547-health-share-live-stonefist-video/

  • dollar store cashier wife

    lol I don’t even have gear good enough to experience 4k.

  • Palpatine

    He looks like he just drank a tub of vodka.

  • bleurgh

    Evil Dead. Flawless.

  • bleurgh

    The CG in that movie sucks. Some parts of it were good but it was ultimately kind of meh.

  • bleurgh

    I have a vague opening scene idea.

    Similar opening to A New Hope with shots of star-destroyers over an alien planet, suddenly broken by an x-wing spiralling out of contol heading towards said planet. The x-wing is being piloted by Obi Wan and there is an R2 like droid in the back who he is shouting at as they enter the planets atmosphere. The droid is beeping loudly and spinning it’s top casing wildly. The X-wing is coming in too hot and burning / breaking up in the planets atmosphere. Obi is saying shit like ‘I know the thrusters are down!’ or whatever. To which the droid responds with beeps, to which Obi responds with more shouting. Maybe he says something like ‘what have I told you about back-seat pilotting!’. They lose an engine or something and shit escalates. Obi eventually manages to pull out of the death spiral and stabilise the craft enough for them to land just before they would have crashed, but the landing is rough and tears a scorch-mark into the Earth and the wings are torn off by trees that the ship collides with as it slides along the ground to it’s eventual resting place. There is a pause. Smoke billows out of what remains of the x-wings fuselage. The cockpit windows are covered in dirt so that we don’t know what has happened to Obi. Then after a moment, the x-wings cockpit windows burst off, Obi coughs and tumbles out onto the ground. Obi is still talking to the droid, he says something witty and Obi-Wanish about the crash, like I don’t know ‘Well, it may not have been my best landing but it certainly wasn’t my worst’. The droid doesn’t respond. He says ‘right r1’? Still no response. He calls the droids name again and quickly climbs over to it. The droid has been completely torn apart by the impact. Obi Wan looks grief stricken. He swallows, then looks into the sky, where he can see several ships entering the planets atmosphere behind him, he reaches inside his coat (yes coat, because this isn’t fucking naboo and jedis don’t have to wear robes always) and clutches his light-sabre, then he runs from the crash-sight into the forest.

  • TapewormBike

    He prefers something called Becherovka and he always has drunk a tub of it.

  • BCFC25

    Very few internet reviewers would actually climb Mt Everest to do a review so i commend you guys on your amazing feat on conquereing Mt Everest and you guys did it while drunk!

    Impressive

  • tOmy`

    Actor Michael Ontkean Not Picking Up His Sheriff Badge For The New Twin Peaks”

    Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww 🙁

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Describe the following RLM member WITHOUT saying what they look like, what kind of clothes they were, or what they profession or what they do at RLM is. Describe this character to your friends like they ain’t never seen RLM.
    Jay Bauman.

  • TapewormBike

    Innocent, yet somehow dirty at the same time

  • Palpatine

    He’s… stoic? No wait, that’s Mike.

  • TapewormBike

    Probably wasn’t promised enough donuts.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Describe Rich Evans

  • Palpatine

    His character is sort of the bumbling sidekick.

  • tOmy`

    Naughty.

  • The kind that got its own spin-off.

  • tOmy`

    Let’s hope it’s not gonna be a game review show.

  • tOmy`

    I used a sad emoticon! This is no place for jokes!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Since Jovial Bob Stine has a movie coming out let’s make horrible puns.
    -Why did the law student talk to the bartender?
    -Why?
    -He needs to study for the Bar exam.

  • TapewormBike

    I like to live on The Edge.

  • Palpatine

    Let’s not. I hate puns.

  • TapewormBike

    Why was six afraid of the seven?

  • Palpatine

    7 ate 9. Yeah, I heard that one when I was in elementary school, and it wasn’t funny then either.

  • TapewormBike

    That’s what makes it funny.

  • Palpatine

    It’s funny because it’s not funny?

  • TapewormBike

    I was always kinda hoping for a bit of a comicbook show from Rich and Jack, but that’s my nerd area, so I’d probably get pissed.

  • It’s funny because you’re annoyed. Classic Schadenfreude.

  • TapewormBike

    That’s not schadenfreude, that’s Assholera

  • Please, that would require actual knowledge and effort. BURN.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I think Jack described him best as “Art house snob.” So I’m going with that

  • TapewormBike

    Also, it was due to issues with intimacy.

  • tOmy`

    Whenever I hear this kind of a joke, I immediately picture it as Coral Walking Dead meme and it instantly makes it hilarious.

    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/c6/29/2a/c6292af7d53b1f51e18443d2b62ac3e5.jpg

  • tOmy`

    Mount Everest is littered by 50 tons of waste (an estimate), making it the dirtiest mountain the world.

    And speaking of, here is some more of your Patreon money in action: Climbing the Mount Everest costs around 65,000 dollars.

  • Likes Frank Henenlotter type shit.

  • TapewormBike

    I even put a treat on my freaking head and she refused to cling on.

    http://i.imgur.com/g0jZLVh.jpg

  • dollar store cashier wife

    nah. he’s open minded and appreciative of cinema as a whole. but I suppose to someone like Jack he comes across as a snob for simply watching a foreign film.

  • tOmy`

    Ha, there is high-speed internet on the way up to the Mount Everest.

    You unintentionally got something right, hack frauds.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Jay discusses this in one of the videos or maybe a commentary but the shots are mostly composites and the effects guys made models and moved them by hand. But whoever composited it into the film did a really bad job of matching the lighting. I agree it looks bad but the body prop of the adult alien during the close encounter kills looks terrifying.

  • Quantum

    That’s gonna be fucking impossible, because he doesn’t have a character.

  • Quantum

    I hate buns.

  • Cuberly

    You guys mentioned the Endurance, there’s another nautical tragedy that would make for an amazing movie. The Wreck of the Medusa.

    The whole debacle rocked France in the 19th Century, not just from the horrific story but how it impacted politics and class differences. The book is really engrossing, a quick read that you can’t put down.

    http://www.amazon.com/Wreck-Medusa-Mutiny-Murder-Survival/dp/1602391866/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1444349091&sr=1-1&keywords=wreck+of+the+medusa

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Not before I can get Russell Crowe into my Marie Celeste moopie. Who should I cast to disappear into the void? Celine Dion? Arthur Godfrey?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Won’t be long before someone streams Everest while climbing Everest.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    The boys don’t do a lot of documentaries, or do they? One of my favorite docudrama’s is Touching the Void, based on a book of the same name, of a successful climb and a substantially less successful descent. Anyone else ‘ere seen it?

  • Cuberly

    Shia LaBeouf, Il Divo……

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Asscholera?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Well, he looks like Keira Knightley.

  • Christina Downey

    My last pay check was 7976 dollars working 9 hours a week online. My
    sisters friend has been averaging 17k for months now and she works about
    19 hours a week. I can’t believe how easy it was once I tried it out.

    This is what I do…

    136

  • TapewormBike

    YES, finally somene mentioned that movie besides me. Amazingly done stuff.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    He is obsessed with human misery. the sexy side kick character. he generally dislikes Next Gen but has better taste in movies than mike and he at least sometimes reads our comments.

  • tOmy`

    Yep, it was pretty great.

    I think that trio of my most favorite documentaries is: Inside Job, The Union: Business Behind Getting High and Sound City.

  • tOmy`

    I think we should use this information to fill in the market gap.

    As in: There should be a Find All 200 Dead Bodies app.

  • tOmy`

    Since the comment section is lately suffering from the lack of spam:

    – Did you know there is a conspiracy theory about Avril Lavigne being dead? Apparently, new photos of Avril don’t look like Avril at all so people think that Avril died and music industry fill her place with an impostor.
    – DJ Hodor isn’t the only blow for electronic music: Carl Cox announced that after 15 years he is ending his residency at Space Ibiza.
    – And here is Dead Kennedy’s tape: http://9gag.com/gag/ajnR0bQ

  • Oliver Bayliss

    You chaps know there was a movie based on Endurance, right?

    A TV movie but starring Sir Ken Branagh. Pretty good:

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0272839/

  • tOmy`

    Is everyone dead?

  • tOmy`

    Jesus, this is it, isn’t it? I woke up today and I am the only person alive on this planet. I can get that Lambo I always wanted! And you won’t even know!

    Suckeeeeeeeeeeeeeers!

  • TapewormBike

    Dude, new “content”

  • Easy onli!!ne w0rrrk for all. Make $ 10000 to $11000 per month onlii!!ne. Visit My Profi!!le for more info……

  • Jason Ross

    Winona Ryder ate after midnight and Keira Knightly popped out. THen Kiera got wet and Daisey Ridley came out of her back.

    The only difference among them is that each generation chirps at a progressively higher pitch.

  • Johan Wernquist

    It´s no illusion. I saw SNOW!

  • I have made 72,000 dollars this year working online with my computer … I am a full time student … I am using an online business opportunity I heard about from my college fellows and I have made such grea money . it is really user friendly and I m just so happy that I found out about it …

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  • After I quit my previous job 13 months ago, I was blessed to get introduced to following job opportunity online which saved me … They offer online home base work . Last paycheck after being on this job for them for four months was 12,000 dollars …. Cool fact about that job is that the requirement for being able to start is basic typing and connection to the internet …..

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  • There is a fantabulous idea how it’s possible to earn ninty-seven dollars hr… After being without work for half-a-year , I started making cash over this internet-website and today I am verry happy. 4 months have passed since being on my new job and my income is around five-thousand five hundred dollars/per month If this interests you: 1)navigate to the site link in the description

  • Monique Monique

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    ?Here is what I’ve been doing….

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  • Here is something really worth your attention , a very good opportunity for work for those who want to utilise their free time to make some extra money using their computers… I have been working on this for last two and half years and I am earning 50-80 dollar/ hour … In the past week I have earned 13,245 dollars for almost 20 hours sitting ….

    There are no special skills required just basic typing and an internet connection ….

    There are no time constraints … You may do this any time when you are free ….

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  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    It ain’t no Cliffhanger.
    **slide whistle**

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    Is this really the place to discuss your slashfic?

  • May` I Tell you `Something` `really` Interesting` and which is`Worth` paying` `Attention`. An `effective` and `excellent` online` `opportunity` for those people` who want to `utilise` their free time so that they can `Earn some `extra `Money` using their `computers`… I have been `working` on this for last two and half years and I am earning` 60-90 `dollar`/ hour` … In the `Past` `Week` I` Have `Earned` 13,70 `DoLLars` For `Almost `20` hours` `Sitting` ….

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  • Amedeus

    Why bring the bodies back down? It’s not like they’re going to get a cooler tombstone than Mt. Everest down here.

  • Sir Baronish

    They progressively got more sexable.

  • Should I read Endurance or watch the documentary first?

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