Half in the Bag: Deliver Us From Evil, Edge of Tomorrow, and Transformers 4

July 12, 2014930 Comments

After landing a new client, Mike and Jay waste time talking about a movie nobody cares about, a movie nobody saw, and a movie nobody likes.

Other Formats: YouTube


Filed in: Half in the Bag

  • ohhhhhhhhhmyyyyyygooooooood

  • MPJZ

    Looks like I’m not getting any sleep tonight.

  • Steven Simmons

    No hyperbole…Transformers 4 was the worst, and most boring, big budget flm I’ve ever seen.

  • Sean Scott

    Who is playing the old lady?

  • Freak #1

    I haven’t watched this episode yet, but let me say, I think they could have done a much better job.

  • adamfox

    Only 34 minutes? Cooooome oooon you lazy HACKS!

  • Stupid Wizard

    I was almost first! Let’s celebrate by fucking her right in the pussy!

  • jaymanxyz2

    Holy crap, it’s here!

  • Stupid Wizard

    Nice Ronald Reagan cameo

  • x Mechanize x

    “I see Tom Cruise, I don’t see a character.”

    I’ve actually been thinking/saying exactly that for years now.

  • jaymanxyz2

    By the way, I love RLM’s subversive, deceptive video posting. This is clearly not Plinkett’s house.

  • jmt

    Una hirundo non fact ver.

    So be prepared to do more swallowing this summer.

  • Why does that lady has a chroma key on her house.

  • Stupid Wizard

    *googles Oliva Munn* Boy I sure do miss the eighties…
    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/42/Olivia_Munn_Leia.jpg

  • MPJZ

    I’m in love with Tom Cruise.

  • Macchan

    Half in the Bag pint glas..I mean episodes are back in stock, fucking FINALLY

  • castlemonster

    I’m glad my VCR is working. I don’t think I could swing $9000 an hour.

  • Stupid Wizard

    Deliver Us From Evil is the dumbest combinations of ideas since me and my friends in High School wrote Jeffrey Dahmer: The Musical

  • Funny thing, the 4th billed star, Chris Coy, went to school with me. My brother hung out with him while he was back in our home town last year. Weird huh?

  • Wm’s Myth

    who’s mom was that?

  • spidertour02

    Judging from her bookshelf, that lady is really into wars and Adobe After Effects.

  • Cocktimus Prime

    My life is an empty shell, but at least I have HITB. Thanks, you frauds.

  • diehounderdoggen

    The enhanced audio on the Deliver Us From Evil trailer was a stroke of genius.

  • Stupid Wizard

    Who the fuck isn’t?

  • jaymanxyz2

    What a downer ending!

  • CJ Lack

    “I like when they say a movie is inspired by a true story, because that’s weird; it means the movie is not a true story, it was just inspired by a true story. Like, hey Mitch, did you hear the story about that lady who drove her children into the river and they all drowned? Yes I did, and it inspired me to write a movie about a gorilla!” — Mitch Hedberg

  • Stupid Wizard

    Speaking of time travel movies or whatever I just watched Anime Reference: The Movie also known as Looper. I liked the film but there were two references that were so completely unsubtle that made me like it less. The first one is the obvious Cowboy Bebop homage in the beginning and the second one is the little innocent looking kid that has near god like telekinetic powers. God that sounds so familiar

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    It’s nice to see that Mike admits to being a movie ‘sucker’ like so many of us tend to be. Some are action movies and others are “Based on True Events” movies.

  • Stupid Wizard
  • stefan

    but she never gave Mike her address.. The hack frauds have outdone themselves. And by out done themselves, I mean they reviewed three movies instead of the usual two. Good job RLM!

  • Blastr Commenteo

    Holy christ did you see Jay’s arms?
    What a sexy, sexy little man.

  • Stupid Wizard

    I love how we all wanted like a Jack and Jill style review of Transformers Age of Snoozing and it’s like 90 seconds long. You two truly live up to the title of hack frauds

  • dick_the_bday_boy

    Jay just finding any excuse he can to show off those biceps.

  • jaymanxyz2

    To be honest, that is exactly what I expected and hoped for (contrary to what I said before). I mean, it’s what a film like that deserves.

  • jaymanxyz2

    I wholly agree with their Edge of Tomorrow review. Tom Cwoose kind of weighed down a very little bit, but other than that it was a great film.

  • Space Vagrant

    Bad capacitors in the power supply. Being a Sony the parts are gonna cost extra, but thats if they were even going to fix the fucker in the first place hack fucks.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Tom Cruise did a better job of jumping on a couch because he’s a fit hack fraud.

  • Boehm

    Ahh yes my countless refreshing of RLM has paid off

  • diehounderdoggen

    I’m getting a Pearl Forrester vibe from Carol. Crossover when?

  • Mohamad Taufiq Morshidi

    YES!

    Transformers 4 should be called Headache simulator. It was fucking terrible.

    And yes, Edge of Tomorrow is awesome.

  • craptonium

    That house is missing something. It is missing 50 street cats pissing it up.

  • FuriousGeorge

    When’s the next Plinkett review?

  • Edward Hirsch

    Amazing ending

  • stefan

    Jay hasn’t seen The Bourne Identity??

  • David

    Yeah she’s sexy as hell

  • David

    In the same vein as the smaller movie directors they mentioned who make good big action movies, Sam Mendes who’s obviously famous for American Beauty and Revolutionary Road (aka American Beauty 1958) did a v. good job with Skyfall, which also had way more emotional resonance than most action movies made these days.

  • Boehm

    Wow, I can’t believe you had a room destroying scene and didn’t invite Rich Evans

  • jaymanxyz2

    Ouch.

  • The Narrator

    Mendes also directed Jarhead, a movie about soldiers waiting for a war and the war never coming, which is quite underrated. That, Revolutionary Road, and Skyfall were all shot by Roger Deakins, who might as well be credited as the co-auteur with Mendes on all of them.

  • Oh wait she also has some After Effects books in her shelves, what’s going on.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    She makes baggy flower dresses from the 90s look so attractive looking.

  • A.I.
  • Harry Palm

    She had sex with Brett Ratner.

  • The Narrator

    That was just a rip-off of my treatment for Kid Hitler: Super Spy.

  • Malevolence

    Wow you guys were way too harsh on Edge of Tomorrow, I’ll never understand the hatred people like yourselves have against Tom Cruise, DiCaprio, and others… they’re great actors playing in great movies… and seldomly starring in crap yet are hated… think your just jelly lol

  • LelouchtheFilial

    This comment is amazing– I get the gist of what you’re saying, and yet I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.

  • Boehm

    Well I can see the hate for Cruise, but yeah I don’t get the hate against Leo

  • LelouchtheFilial

    I was once the showrunner of an unsuccessful NBC sitcom called “Dumb and Dahmer.”

  • Bahareh Khosravi

    You FUCK that room up Mike and Jay!

  • mst3knerdinthescreeningroom

    That brief review of Transformers 4 was perfect.

  • And don’t forget to dress your baby in the latest Disney apparel.

  • dennett316

    Yeah, how dare those fuckers not like some actors…fucking assholes! Hey assholes….like Tom Cruise more ya scumbags!

  • Boehm

    Yep, as much as I would have liked 20-30 min of them ripping it apart, the review they gave it was deserved

  • Jean-François Martel
  • Jean-François Martel

    Mike, you mean like this?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Is Goebbels the equivalent of Q? That’s gonna be great.

  • Boehm

    Reagan, you fuck. You bought your alzheimer’s medicine at The Forgetful Grandpa discount pharmaceutical store. I know because SOLD IT TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • ModernDayMinstrel

    DAMMIT EVERY TIME RIGHT BEFORE I’M ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP YOU GUYS POST SOMETHING.

    But seriously, I’m really pumped for this thank you.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I wonder how many actors/actresses are in the same boat of Celebrity vs. Actor. I get that vibe from Reese Witherspoon and Anne Hathaway for damn near every movie I’ve seen them in.

  • ronin122

    Well what did you expect? You should have known it was just going to be more of the same.

  • Stupid Wizard

    Ewwwwwwwwwwww

  • Stupid Wizard

    “Jeff, did you try to turn another man into a sex zombie?”
    “No.”
    “Jeff, don’t lie!”
    “Okay I did”
    *wacky sitcom music*

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Yeah. His ex-spouse count is so much greater than mine that I’m just seething with jealous rage.

  • Stupid Wizard

    It was that fucker Rich Evans

  • ModernDayMinstrel

    Mr. Plinkett looks good in a muumuu…
    Oh wait.

  • Woody Mellow

    ” I always wonder with these types of directors….does someone else come in and direct pall these amazing action sequences?”

    Yes, Mike. That’s exactly what happens. Very few, on big studio movies anyway, directors actually shoot their own action.

  • Rich is looking really good in that wig…God I really hope I’m the first one to make that joke…

  • GOD DAMNIT!

  • The Loon

    soo…that was Jay’s mom right?

  • The Loon

    also…Jay…stop lifting…nobody likes a try hard

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I was expecting a Step-Up: Revolution style review: 30 minutes of scripted story, semi-famous people show up, and “Oh Yeah. This movie fucking sucked.”

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Oooh. Don’t forget Fire in the Sky from 1993. That movie at least took the “True Story” aspect and tried to be serious about it.

  • x Mechanize x

    I could probably put Nicolas Cage on that list.

  • Only thing better than a new HITBag is a big hot juicy polish sossage, and DA Bears

  • Eric McHugh
  • Mark Bisone

    Mick: What’s your address, we’ll be over in five minutes.

    Gramma: Okay, good, see you then, bye!

    Mack: Bye!

    http://emotibot.net/pix/1354.jpg

  • Guest

    Percy said he was out of town and made mention of a singular, trained moose.
    It all makes sense now.

    Percy is Carol.

  • I was watching some of the older episodes the other day.
    He has gotten much trimmer.

  • ModernDayMinstrel

    Dammit Disqus, I’ve known you long enough, don’t refer to me as a guest anymore.

  • Jar Jar Binks

    My VCR needsa da repair. Canna meesa hire yousa guys? Meesa address is 123 Senate Ave on Corrooscant.

  • Nokterian

    I love edge of tommorow one of my big surprises this year.

  • ModernDayMinstrel

    I bet you got your tongue stuck in it didn’t you?

  • ModernDayMinstrel

    Tom Cruise Jelly sounds fucking disgusting, you can count me out.

  • ModernDayMinstrel

    Given that scene, I guess that would mean Jay is Oprah? I suspected as much.

  • jnywest

    Fuck off, his arms are looking pretty good.

  • Skid Marx

    Is that fucking green screen wall gonna come into play sometime in the future? Also, those fucking acting lessons are really starting to pay off. Also, the sexual tension between Mike and the old bag is palpable. I hope to see alot more of her (winkwink) in the future!

  • DanceK

    Didn’t Sam Mendes also direct the first Sherlock Holmes movie with RDJ? Unfortunately, he did not direct the second one, which could be why it’s so similar to A League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

  • Billy Nunez

    For a second I actually though they watched Transformers 4

  • humdiblifier

    How’s your sex life?

  • Jared Ouimette

    The problem with Tom Cruise is that he’s an officer. He’d never be ordered to the battlefield personally. He’d leave the General’s office, and then order a Private to do that shit. That’s how literally every military ever functions.

  • locoma

    man, I’m really digging this storyline, I loved the bit at the end!!

  • Stardog Champion

    Mike is right, 20 dollars is BULLSHIT!

  • Jacob De Paz

    Haha great episode all-around. Nice succinct reviews, good comedy, and amazing ending.

    But admit it: you guys shot this at a higher frame-rate. I know because I felt like I was watching The Hobbit again.

  • Maggie

    I see no problem with this 😛

  • Maggie

    Seriously love that ending.

    Also is it bad that I’m extra attracted to Jay when he has touch of grey hair?

  • Pemberton

    Deborah Clifton: SUPERSTAR.

  • Alex Lee

    I’d put George Clooney in there too.

  • marko112kg

    I think they used shaky cam appropriately in Edge Of Tomorrow, they had it when they needed it, yet they also had a more detached style when you’re supposed to feel there’s no danger.

  • Stupid Wizard

    Fuck off, you loathsome cunt

  • Stupid Wizard

    Where the fuck is the Half in The Bag on The Dog Who Got Shot Out Back For Ruining Christmas?

  • Jack O’Neill

    At least you guys stay alive.

  • Stupid Wizard

    Not as sexy as Rich Evans.
    https://www.verticaldoors.com/_product_pics/rich_evans_1.jpg

    I think I might have the wrong photo

  • noin007

    Edge of Tomorrow was really much better than I expected. I wasn’t excited to go see it, almost skiped it. But it was totally worth it.

  • backwards7

    2% of this film (mainly those parts where characters are walking somewhere or eating) were based on actual events, with a 2% margin of error.

    KAUFMANN: “Do you think she’s possessed?”

    RAKOWSKI: “I think so Sir. We found bags of this strange white powder hidden all over her apartment. The boys in the lab say that it’s crystallised ectoplasm…”

    KAUFMANN: “Crystallized?”

    RAKOWSKI: “It possesses people faster and longer than liquid plasm. When I was working undercover in Miami I saw mothers feeding it to their infant children instead of baby formula.”

    KAUFMANN: “Jesus Christ…”

    RAKOWSKI: “As the unbeliever in our lapsed-catholic good cop / atheist bad cop partnership, I feel the need to tell you that Jesus Christ has forsaken this earth forever.

    “On a unrelated matter, one of the Iraq war veterans who I also believe to be possessed, as opposed to suffering from the devastating effects of post-traumatic stress disorder, painted this on the walls of the lion enclosure in the Bronx Zoo.”

    (Rakowski brings up a photograph on some kind of transparent interactive computer monitor like they have in C.S.I.)

    KAUFMANN: “What is it with ghosts and lions?”

    RAKOWSKI: “It’s gang thing. They’re fighting over territory in Washington Heights.”

    KAUFMANN: “The message appears to be written in Latin which I recognise because I am a lapsed Catholic. Can you translate it?”

    (Rakowski waves his hands around in front of the glass screen. Through the magic of technology the slogan in the photograph morphs into English)

    KAUFMANN: (reading the words quietly off the screen) “Send your best ninja to fight me…”

    “…What the hell?”

    RAKOWSKI: “It’s signed Muñoz.”

    KAUFMANN: “Leader of the Columbian Ghost Cartel. I thought he was a legend. Something unwed mothers told their children when they wanted to scare them into not dying and returning as ghosts.”

    RAKOWSKI: “Not any more Sir. Muñoz is real and he’s a ghost.”

    KAUFMANN: “There is only one man in the city fiscally prudent enough to resolve this situation quickly and under-budget. Get me Vanderhoof!”

    (Later, in a hipster cupcake bar in the East Village)

    VANDERHOOF: “Forget it Rakowski. I gave up ninja-ing after what happened at Smiling Cedars. Now I just sit here in this cupcake bar with unicycles nailed to the exposed brick walls, drinking tiny shot-glasses of rose water. I also go into schools and attempt to deter impressionable young teens from following from path of the ninja. What would a troubled Bronx youth like Johnny Nunchucks do if he saw me wearing my ninja costume?”

    (Later, inevitably…)

    JOHNNY NUNCHUCKS: “You told me to forsake the path of the ninja, but you are a ninja! You’ve been a ninja all this time!”

    (back flips at speed down the street)

    VANDERHOOF: “Johnny wait! Johnny come back!”

  • Stupid Wizard

    Future Mike and Future Jay probably learned special combat knowledge from the Kool Aid Man
    http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view4/1097361/koolaid-man-o.gif

  • Stupid Wizard

    That’s right, Jay

  • Noah Roalson

    No, for fucks sake, I don’t want to go on a virtual date with Josh Duhemal, or whatever the hell his name is! Verizon, your marketing is driving consumers INSANE!!!!

    Also, great episode guys 🙂

  • Jillian

    I’m so happy you guys went to see Edge of Tomorrow. I saw it last week and was completely blown away by how good it was. It’s a shame the movie-going masses have ignored it in favor of stupid crap like Transformers, because it’s definitely one of the best movies I’ve seen in a long time.

    If you haven’t seen it yet, do. It’s fantastic.

  • JohnBigbooty

    That was great guys. Mike, you make a terrific Tom Sizemore!

  • joewoody

    the plot thickens…

  • sunpapushi

    No. The RDJ Sherlock Holmes films were directed by Guy Ritchie.

  • Ben Parsons

    Killer episode, guys.

  • Lat

    “Hi, do you guys really still fix VCRS? You do? Okay, well I’m Jessie’s mom, yeah-huh your future mother-in-law, and I need my VCR fixed.”

  • Cameron Vale

    I’ll be damned, Wikipedia says that action sequences are often shot by second units.

  • SkaMP

    You fucking hacks this clearly just Rich Evans in bad old-age make up! sheesh

  • Stupid Wizard

    SHE WAS COFFEE LADY?!?

  • Stupid Wizard

    Hey, have you seen Cop Out? It’s amazing.

  • metalraygear

    you guys are crazy

  • SkaMP

    The ending was actually really great! keep up the good work 😀

  • I for one welcome our new Overlord.

  • Guest

    Weirdly enough Jay looks similar to Tom Cruise in ‘Collateral’ here.

  • Mr Snrub

    Weirdly enough Jay looks like Tom Cruise in ‘Collateral’ here.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I’m sure they could have shoehorned Space Cop in there.

  • Jay would be attractive with a touch of encrusted dog shit on his face/

  • Guest

    So THAT’s what Plinkett looks like!

  • I was thought that this was going to abruptly end Jay and Mike’s character arcs (the only reason anyone watches this crap) smart save there future slave Jay and Mike.

  • Stef Sarch

    Oh, so THAT’s what the real Plinkett looks like!

  • Stef Sarch

    oh no, posted as guest please kill me

  • EXbob

    Coming from someone who really likes Transformers 1 and 3, the fourth Transformers is one of the worst things I’ve ever seen. A complete pile of arse.

  • Stef Sarch

    oh god no i made 2 pictures please kill me

  • WrongWithYourFace

    They already made an in-depth review of Transformers 4. You can see it here:

    http://redlettermedia.com/half-in-the-bag/transformers-dark-of-the-moon/

  • Yeah posting can suck ass sometimes, youll be all like “oh no one will get that comment I better delete it” then it stays up and some dickhead named “guest” gets all your fucking upvotes…id love to know who this guy is and why he’s echoing your posts…

  • Stef Sarch

    He copied mr. snrub too.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yea, that guy is way out of shape.

  • TekJansen

    Wait, you really did it? You made a Transformers 4 review? Kudos and thank you, fellow sadomasochists!

  • TheMike

    “…all sectors of the NUT”
    lol

  • Turoman

    The scariest part was at the end when they show the “real” main character during the interview.

  • catoblepag .

    Does anyone else think that the lady looks a lot like the third dudebro (from The Dudebros, of course)? I don’t know if she’s his mother but the resemblance is just incredible.

  • Maggie

    Wow…. you’re right.

  • EXbob

    That there is the best Transformers 4 review possible.

  • Turoman

    I agree with one of Jay’s grinch comments, the simplistic ending, it wasn’t bad, I would have enjoyed the movie a bit more it was a bit more complex at the end. Tom Cruise wasn’t bad in this role, but I would have enjoyed it more with almost anyone else. Even Burgess Meredith. But the rest was good, so who the hell cares.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Wait. So you made this set for this one episode and then took it down?

    What a waste of all that money people other than me are giving you guys!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Jay’s arms is the key to all this.

  • The dollar store tap lights really tie the whole thing together very nicely don’t you think?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    it’s all about making the RLM fanbase sploosh over him.and gat dam it works

  • Adam Cleverley

    Mike is on FIRE!

  • Jof

    I was half expecting future Jay and Mike to quickly say “Hey, did you see Transformers 54?” “Yeah, it sucked.” in monotone voices before going back to the future.

  • Thanatos2k

    I hope you guys didn’t pay money to see Transformers 4….that would be a shame.

  • Thanatos2k

    Why keep watching them? After Transformers 2 I swore off paying Michael Bay a cent ever again.

  • Thanatos2k

    I’d put Padme on there. I see a character, I don’t see Natalie Portman.

  • Fraz

    Ohhh, you didn’t go into detail about Transformers 4 🙁

  • Thanatos2k

    So who is supposed to save us from the Great Eugenics War now?

    SPACE COP?

  • Maggie

    I think this is a set they repurposed from a non-RLM project they worked on.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Their money? I think you mean the Patreon money.

  • Uncle Sporkums

    Your Transformers 4 review said it all..

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I stopped reading at “complete pile of arse”.

  • dextromethorphan

    That was an excellent episode. I originally fell in love with Half in the Bag for the reviews, but the side-story has developed into a remarkable plot-line over the years and I find myself looking forward to it as much as the reviews themselves. Thanks guys and keep up the most excellent job.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I was surprised they didn’t do anything with the green screen.

  • Michal Richter

    This was actually a great thing you’ve put together. How did you make that lady act in this? And Jay looked FABULOUS in that costume with silver hair, oh my!

  • shuura84

    Is there a timeline where the Care Boars doesn’t start right after each video ?
    Can you future/future future guys do anything about it ?

  • Markham

    An Oprah couch gag? How timely!

  • Ah_good_the_sea

    In fairness, because Paul Greengrass and his shakeycam style really defined the later Bourne films, it’s easy to forget Liman directed the first one.

  • tOmy`

    PLOT HOLE! She did not tell you the adress. Who wrote this script? Jorge?

  • Turoman

    I would have liked that too, but it’s one of those films you can’t say anyting that’s new, I mean it probably has the same problems as it’s predecessors. Just with different actors.

  • jthomasbailey

    Did you spend my patreon money on production? That was supposed to be for beer

  • Check out “The Exorcist 3” for a good demonic cop thriller!

  • CinnamonBun

    It was the antithesis of Transformers 4 –
    Brief, to the point, clear, succinct, witty, clipt,erudite…
    did I say it was brief?

  • Guest

    Obviously, she needs to learn the best directors to sleep with, for instance David Fincher. Someone who has talent.

  • Sébastien St-Pierre Robert

    Anyone who has seen Edge of Tomorrow, frankly, is it a man-hating movie?

  • Replication

    It’s about time you got a hot piece of ass like Carol on this shit.

  • omitted

    So that’s why he was questioning his manhood in the beginning: because Jay is a black woman!

  • UnderBlackFlags

    The Resident Evil movies review is still the funniest episode ever. Its impossible to watch that episode without laughing as much as the gang does.

  • Sébastien St-Pierre Robert

    Oh it’s so cold here!

  • omitted

    I see a slab of meat, I don’t see Jay

  • omitted

    I was already preparing a disappointed post about the lack of eye candy in this episode, but then Future Jay came bursting through. Hot damn!

  • omitted

    She’s just playing coy

  • urgletwang

    I knew you goons wouldn’t destroy that couch! It looked far too expensive and new. Which one of you is going to steal it and take it home?

  • omitted

    It’s not bad in a sense that all living beings are attrected to Jay, young or old. On the other hand it’s bad because he’s mine!

  • PauluitOosterhout

    I love half in the bag. Too bad there are so few episodes. A weekly half in the bag would be nice. So many movies to review. By the way…best transformers review ever.

  • omitted

    About Jay doubting whether he is a man or not… I’m pretty sure Rich Evans has elevated him to a demigod by now

  • Now I Get It

    Exes?! …Hnhh. Sometimes it’s like I don’t know you at all.

  • Mr. R

    Doug Liman is known for the Bourne Identity and a few less good action movies like Jumper. The term you’re probably looking for is 2nd unit though.

  • omitted

    But how then did they insert the Grinch so seamlessly? Mind blown

  • If I become a filmmaker I’m doing that Brandon Teena movie and I’m giving him a wisecracking black sidekick to punctuate every action scene with ‘Dayum!’

  • omitted

    Look
    Fap
    Repeat

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Because my ex-spouse count is zero, I have so much catching up to do in order to reach Tom Cruise-level of awesomeness. It’s like, why bother trying?

    Although, you saying exes sounds like what Gollum said in the Hobbit movie when he answered “Eggs” for one of the riddles. At least that’s what went off in my head.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Keep your damn eyes open when fapping like a real fan would. Christ.

  • Now I Get It

    Dude, where’s my snark?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Every. Fucking. Time.

  • UnderBlackFlags

    I believe the Guys didn’t actually see Transformers 4. I’d kill myself if i was locked in a theater showing the movie and there’s no way they’d pay for a ticket – sacrilege. Maybe Mike walked into a packed theater and screamed “Fuck you Movie” but I think they’re done promoting that movie forever. Thank God too. Ignore Bullies and they go away. Fuck M. Bay

  • andrew thompson

    wow. that escalated quickly….

  • omitted

    Funny thing is that this is the umpteenth iteration of this day for me. I know that fapping to Future Jay is the trigger that resets time, but I just can’t help myself

  • Dolfanar

    I think the natural progression here would be for the evil old emperor lady to send Mike & Jay into space on a satellite and force them to watch terrible movies each week. They can even build a couple smart ass robots to keep them company.

  • Tim Brawn

    I saw Edge of Tomorrow with my brother about a month ago…we really liked it. *SPOILER ALERT* I like how they managed to take away Tom Cruise’s power at the end, which added a bit of tension to the finale

  • El_Runko

    204TH!!!!!!!!!!

  • Lilgreenman

    Tom Cruise’s character should have been played by Nathan Fillion. He would OWN that part.

  • redditors are childish

    Tom Cruise is based

  • Jof

    He’d own any part. Heck, he can own my parts if he likes.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    Eugenics war?!?!?!?
    KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

  • KonradZell

    I know right? Dem pythons…HEEEEEEEY SAILOR!

  • doctorr

    I want that painting of the sunset and the moose!

  • You’re my favorite costumer

  • Painted Pagliacci Of Perfidy

    You couldn’t just watch the fucking movie? Would it have killed you? You realize your funniest reviews are the ones where you most loath the movie, like “Man Of Steel”, correct? I think that was over a year ago.

  • Like Icare

    It’s actually a bit of a copout in order for movie to end the way it did.
    But it was done very well. Both versions are very decent sci-fi action stories.

  • Like Icare

    You should make him a wisecracking Chinese who can do kung-fu.
    That way you can get into that Chinese market dollar.
    And that one’s just gonna be hugererr and hugererr.
    There’s a billion and a half of tickets to be sold there, each day, NOW!
    Just imagine a couple of years down the road…

  • Like Icare

    As in “pro-alien”?

    No, aliens are pretty much soulless cannon fodder.

  • Otto: Autopilot

    Rick Evans really showed his range as the grandma in this episode too.

  • Like Icare

    Hey! Petunias don’t stink! It’s all their money.

    I’m sure that by now they have cost saving measures.
    Like having sex tapes of various movie-theater employees which they can use for blackmailing porpoises.

    And we all know how influential dolphins are in Hollywood.
    Dolph Lundgren AND Jessica Alba owe their entire career to dolphins.
    And the less is said about Cameron and his secret underwater councils the better.
    Internet cables go under the ocean you know.

  • Otto: Autopilot

    You may have been the first, but definitely not the last.

  • Like Icare

    Like the key is hidden in the arms of an an-Jay…el…

    Why am I thinking of a potential Nicolas Cage movie plot now…

  • My ex wife

    It’s not just me that does it, yay 😀

  • G Hypolite

    My reaction:

  • Otto: Autopilot

    “…legendary filmmaker McBrett Webbner.” There I fixed it for you.

  • Like Icare

    Haven’t seen the movie I presume…

  • Like Icare

    Swap in Oblivion for War of the Worlds and you’re basically right on the money.

  • stryker1121

    LIked Edge o’ T, though it did get bogged down in explanation-y…exposition about halfway through. The humor was much appreciated, however.

  • Ya think Edge of Tomorrow might have done better with it’s original name?

    ALL YOU NEED IS KILLLLLL

    Nah,, probably not. That sounds even less like a sci-fi movie and more like a documentary about a little known thrash-metal band.

  • Like Icare

    All I see there is an argument for how nice it is to have money and power.

  • Leo Silva

    My problem with Edge of tomorrow is the ending makes no sense.

  • Like Icare

    It probably makes more sense in the original Japanese – Oru Yu Nido Izu Kiru.

    Yeah… That makes a lot more sense. It kinda rhymes. Hopefully.

    Which is why it was so successful that they turned it into a manga and then a movie.

  • Leo Silva

    26:28 Hahaha, I bet Mike edited this.

  • Leo Silva

    It’s like poetry,

  • Like Icare

    That’s because you’re over-analyzing it and expecting the movie to think for you.

    Instead, just accept the movie’s analysis of the situation as it is presented, and try figuring out how that applies to the ending – and it all makes perfect sense.

    They didn’t midiclorinate it for the audience.

    They just gave the audience the “it’s alien blood” thing without going into the whole “Well you see, there are these microscopic creatures living inside every living thing and when you hit them with a tachyon burst they teleport you a single rotation of the planet back into the past…”

  • Derek Cottle

    Tom Cruise literally didn’t jump on a couch. That was a mass delusion cast by the witch-guru Oprah.

  • Leo Silva

    ‘m glad by the fact they didn’t give any money to Transformers producers. They probably didn’t watch the movie.

  • Like Icare

    He jumped the couch laterally.

  • Leo Silva

    No it’s not that. At the end, the aliens are dying because the sodiers achieved in killing that brain thing. But they did it sacrificing themselves. But if they had to die to do so. So, why the fuck are they even alive? one fact contradicts the other.

  • Leo Silva

    I can’t do it anymore, for Christ’s sake. I’ve awake the whole night!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Brah, I don’t deliver snark. I just bring the truth.

  • jaymanxyz2

    Because boss-battle conditions needed to apply to wrap up the movie. Well, that’s my guess, anyways.

  • jaymanxyz2

    *SPOILERS WATCH OUT*

    Do you think it would have been better if Emily Blunt had to die at the end?

  • MovieFan

    Lmao I love your intro and outro skits. Go watch Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. It was amazing! It’s the best seamless motion capture to VFX ever (Better than Gollum and the Na’Vi combined).

  • Claudia King

    I enjoy this new evil lady.

  • jaymanxyz2

    Something tells me that it will be Mr. Plinkett that somehow saves the future.

  • Alex Lee

    “Oui Oui, Mike. Can I take you out back and *BLEEP* and then *BLEEP*?”

  • omitted

    I see many of you evoking the name of our Lord in this thread. It’s spelled R I C H!

  • jaymanxyz2

    It could have worked. Or maybe not…

  • cathax

    Your phone is unplugged.

  • kenchun24

    I can understand that, but I had no problem with it. Overall I thought Cruise, Blunt, Bill Paxton, Doug Liman and editor James Herbert did an awesome job with the flick and how they unraveled the possibly “300 Days of Bill Cage” story.

    ***LONG ASS SPOILERS AHEAD***

    To me, once Cage killed the Omega that reset differs from the Alpha reset that originally starts his journey. This is just a geek out theory because I loved the flick. Saw it four times, the last time with my visiting sister at a packed Saturday night audience the weekend Bay4mers released. Like Mike and Jay commented on, but contrary to most areas I’m sure, Arclight Hollywood is still playing EoT five times a day because folks are still going to see it overall. Even after Bay4mers, Tammy, Deliver Us From Evil, 22 Jump, Train Dragon 2, “Apes on Horses” and Boyhood (both of which I loved just as much as EoT) released. I digress, back to how I took in the EoT ending.

    “Save Points” in EoT…
    1.) Cage is tased after trying to go AWOL at the UDF Operations base in Whitehall. When a person is tased they are not unconscious for 24 hours. They are only unconscious for 2-3 hours at best I’m thinking.

    2.) Cage awakens at the UDF’s “Operation Downfall” processing center in Heathrow. When an Alpha/Omega is killed and their blood is transferred to a human that Alpha/Omega ceases to exist because the human takes that beings place. This is why the Alpha that Cage killed never returns to the battlefield, and why the Omega never returns. Cage is now that Alpha and when he dies the Omega resets time 24 hours (1 day) from when the Alpha Mimic was originally killed.

    A timeline of events. Note that exact times are not mentioned in the movie, so I will be giving the times listed:

    7:00AM (Day 1) – Cage wakes up in the helicopter on the way to meet the General Brigham at Whitehall.

    8:00AM (Day 1) – Cage is tased and labeled a deserter following his meeting with the General Brigham.

    10:00AM (Day 1) – Cage is awoken on the UDF Heathrow base by being kicked and called a maggot (this is still the same day).

    9:00AM (Day 2) – This is the next day. Cage is dropped from the UDF VTOL and lands on the beach.

    9:05AM (Day 2) – Cage stated “I die within 5 minutes of landing on that beach” so this is when he kills the Alpha, and dies in the process.

    Now every time Cage dies time is reset 24 hours from when that particular Alpha died. This is why when he dies during PT by being ran over
    he is reset to 9:05AM (DAY 1), and when he dies much later at the German Dam due to drowning himself he is still reset to 9:05AM (DAY 1). Also notice that 9:05AM is while he is unconscious due to being tased, and rather than the movie showing us Cage sleeping for 55 minutes they just edit to where he is awoken by the “Maggot!” drill sergeant.

    The ending…
    10:00AM (DAY 1) – Cage is awoken on the base by being kicked and called a maggot.

    2:00PM (Day 1) – Cage and Rita meet with the General and get the device that Cage shoves into his leg.

    5:00PM (Day 1) – Cage wakes up after receiving a blood transfusion and losing his ability to reset time.

    10:00PM (DAY 1) – Cage and Rita convince J-Squad to help them around
    5 or 6:00AM.

    (DAY 2) – Cage kills the Omega, and all of the Mimics die along with
    it. The Omega’s blood is transferred to him and he becomes the Omega,
    resetting time 24 hours because the Alphas died at 6:00AM.

    (DAY 1) – Cage is now sleeping on the helicopter but just like before,
    rather than the movie show us 1 hour of him sleeping they just edit to
    where he wakes up on the helicopter. NOTE that at this time the Omega
    ceases to exist because its blood was transferred to Cage.

    7:00AM (Day 1) – Cage wakes up. When the helicopter lands he realizes
    everything has been reset and his friends are all alive once again.
    Instead of meeting with the General Brigham at 8:00AM he sees on the television that Brigham no longer requires Cage’s “on battlefield” assistance because all of the Mimics are being destroyed. The “disturbance” that Brigham is referring to that happened under The Louvre is the Omega ceasing to exist because Cage now has his blood.

    I see it as the ending isn’t resetting time two days, and it’s actually only resetting it a few hours prior to when it was previously resetting, and when Cage resets the Alpha/Omega that he got his ability from ceases to exist.

    They could do a sequel. Cage is the Omega, another asteroid brings more Mimic’s whatever… or easily not do a sequel as Cage, Vrataski, Farell, J-Squad, and the people of Earth live happily ever. Also because the pre-sold, brain-branded, sci-fi action going domestic audience that probably should have made EoT at least a $50-$60 million opening weekend success, avoided EoT because they just HAD to see another copy & paste Bay4mer effort weeks later lol.

  • Harry Palm

    That wasn’t meant to be a knock against Brett Ratner. It’s a knock against BimbOliva Dumm. A very hard knock.

  • kenchun24

    For it’s July 4th release in Japan, Warner Bros retained the original title from Hiroshi Sakuraza’s novel – All You Need Is Kill.

  • ModernDayMinstrel

    Get this man and knife-dick and let’s film “Deadly Prey 3”

  • Alex Lee

    He did. It’s in the credits.

  • HNSZ

    They are stylistically designed to be that way.

  • kenchun24

    Whoa! This HITB “Biotron” storyline has me jazzed lol! Regarding DUFEvil, I was hoping for a “Cops vs. Demons” action/possession horror movie like the awesome REC 2 from the original REC series. But after grazing reviews prior to it’s release, it seemed like another lame “based on a true story jump scare-a-thon” rental/Netflix streamer at best. Great Bay4mer review, and I’m happy your classico “Transformers Triple Feature” HITB episode got a lot of hits across the web.

    Glad you guys dug EoT! It’s still in my top 2014 summer flick releases I saw so far. Right alongside DoFP, 22 Jump, Godzilla, Snowpiercer, “Apes on Horses” and Boyhood.

  • DanceK

    Doh!

  • HNSZ

    Always there is someone shoehorning shoehorning into the discussion.

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    Jeff Winger: Exorcist. Make it happen Hollywood!

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    That’s what I call my dick.

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    The Resident Evil movies need more of Mila Jovovich’s punk klezmer band.

    “Hava nagila, bitches!” — Mila to zombie character before she blows it up with bazooka.

  • What if we made the Teena himself Chinese?

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    Humans rule! Dolphins can suck it!

    **points at crotch**

  • Now I Get It

    Khaleesi?

  • shuura84

    Indeed…
    I, for one, welcome our new future future overlords.

  • Like Icare

    It would have to be a different story, that’s for sure.

    It would kill off the happy ending, certainly.
    So, either they could set it up for a sequel (like in the book/manga) OR make it a critique of war by having her dead in the end through some twist or other, and him going into PTSD shock… but that wouldn’t fit the rest of THIS movie.

    A different movie would fit such an end, and if done right, it could be a much better movie.

    A sequel with him keeping the power and fighting thousands of future battles… again, not for this movie.

    It works for the book cause it’s a YA kind of story.

    And that would need teenagers instead of 50-year-olds as leads.
    And you need more internal backstory. For both of them.

    Otherwise… It would be like Starship Troopers only done straight, by Michael Bay.

  • Maggie

    Lol I thought the exact same thing

  • HNSZ

    I have always kept my obsession with community encapsulated, because I feared that if I mentioned it here a perfect storm of fanboyism and snobbism might be the result of intermixing it with rlm. Now Jay has ruined it.
    There are other things that probably should not be discussed here, like Monty Python and MST3K.
    I’m guessing Mike thinks the same about this but the question remains unanswered. Maybe he just hates community.

  • thelionroars

    Hey I’m going to post a hilarious and original comment about how homoerotic Jays biceps are, I’ll just check the other comments first to make sure no one else has done it yet and oohhh…

  • maggit

    FUCK YOU IT’S JUNE.. uh JULY

  • HNSZ

    Phone conversation was almost verbatim someone’s comment from a few videos ago. I love it when they do that.

  • Like Icare

    Spoilers… something… Speculation…

    Aliens aren’t dying. They’ve lost their capacity to fight.

    The stuff in Alpha’s blood initiates the time-jump, but the jump is done by stuff in Omega’s blood/body.
    When Cage is dying in the end, he gets a transfusion of alien blood from an already dead Omega, and his death, with him being an Alpha, initiates the final loop.

    All the hardware is still there and his is the only software to make the time jump back.
    He still has a consciousness to loop it back, Omega’s consciousness is blown to pieces – it sends a blank consciousness-message to itself – either lobotomizing or killing itself in the past.

    Think of the alien blood as techno-magic nanobots, charged up with tachyon energy and programmed to beam any compatible consciousness (i.e. the kind that is connected to techno-magic nanobots in alien blood) XY hours into the past.

    All of the Omega’s techno-magic nanobots are still there, only it’s brain is already dead.

  • Ohmygawwd that manga was so good. I’m guessing the movie didn’t go with the downer ending though?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’ve been waiting, WAITING, for their review of Edge of Tomorrow! 😀

  • Like Icare

    Nope. Also dropped a lot of character development. And the harem-fodder characters. No pickled prunes either.

    Like the axe replacement a lot better though. It looks as if it is just a re-purposed helicopter blade.
    Too bad it didn’t get much play. Guns are cheaper to play with and look sexier.

  • Ah, that kinda sucks. As depressing as the ending was, it really did stick with you.

    And no Rita tasting prunes either. What the fuck man…

  • Spekkio
  • omitted

    You misspelled erection

  • Like Icare

    Again, I see nothing wrong with being a bimbo if it is a viable strategy.

    And hey… it worked for so many male actors too…
    Arnold Schwarzenegger is just one kind of a male bimbo. Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, Matthew McConaughey…

    All of them started as pretty boys and beefcakes.

    It’s not like anyone should look up to actors as role models or something. It’s their job to be above average looking liars.
    A century or so back they were synonymous with whores.
    Some still are. Like the ones in the “adult industry”.

  • Like Icare

    It’s a different kind of story with different characters, more suitable for a big-screen adaptation.

    But it works as a story of its own.

  • Shane Hernandez

    hahaha Jay is the grinch

  • omitted

    Me too, it was nice that they shared my liking of EoT. The ending was maybe a bit too Hollywood, but not enough to ruin the whole movie

  • JFM

    Anyone remember the specific video? Just curious.

  • Like Icare

    Not sure. How do they stand on the whole transgender things?

    It might work better in India… That’s a huge dollar too.
    According to Hans Rosling’s calculations both China and India will be on par with US by 2048, as far as the economy and the average standard of living goes.
    And that’s like… tomorrow.
    Same amount of time ago, The Empire Strikes Back came out.

    I foresee a lot of Bollywood-like singing and dancing in the movies of the future.

  • Alex

    Uhh did you ever think that Hollywood has been ruining movies for international audiences like China far longer than any effect China has had on Hollywood in recent years? You xenophobic ignorant fucks.

  • “Fargo” did the based on true events thing.

  • China sux

  • HNSZ

    Don’t worry, Alex is being ironic. Seriously, he is doing a thing in a thing.

  • ModernDayMinstrel

    Difference is, the Coen Brothers are talented artists.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I think Mike means for Jay to get “off” the bathroom.

  • ModernDayMinstrel

    Has it kept you on the EDGE of your seat?
    *slide whistle*

  • But it is another genre that uses the trope regardless of talent.

  • That ending was AAA stuff guys. That was like “Star Trek: TNG” good. No lie.

  • Triple irony is bad for the heart.

  • BTW, could future you guys look me up and see if I am black yet?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Gray Jay is the hottest thing I’ve EVER seen!

    http://i7.minus.com/jbiVlRMSbp5S0f.jpg

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    When Mike said “I’ll be there in 5 minutes” I laft.

  • Tyler Young

    It was easily better than its predecessors.

  • Pshaw Taco! Grey Mike was WAY hotter in black Borg tights. I mean Bjorn Borg, of course.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’m surprised the studio didn’t just call the film Trans4mers.

  • Tyler Young

    I guess I’m of the minority opinion that not only is Transformers 4 the best of the four, but it’s also the only one that, while dumb, isn’t painfully so.

  • Plus Marky Mark’s biceps.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I don’t think Mike and Jay saw the film. I was about to say, “Hey, the Autobots can actually be told apart this time! At least that’s one improvement!” Then I realized they were doing a thing. Haha.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Why don’t you make like my mother and DIE?!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Wanna see my big surprise? 😉

    PS – Go grab a magnifying glass.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I prefer the Rich Evans version, “The Kourth Find”.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I, too, shout at my monitor when these guys get me hot and heavy.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    NIGI can’t handle the truth.

  • JustRegisteredToCommentOnce

    The old lady isn’t as much of a luddite as she seems. She may be clinging to VHS, but judging from her bookshelf she’s keeping up to date on video editing software.

  • Imesseduptheemail

    Oh wow, Carol looks like Oberver from ms3tk.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Rich Evans cleaned it up.

    http://i.minus.com/i1Mg9eP8iR5tG.gif

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    When’s the next Animated Plinkett?

  • Freak #1

    These commercials for Vicious are killing me. It looks like an intentional satire of British sitcoms.

  • Oh yeah, I still wanna check it out. I’ve been hearing nothing but good things about it, and this review was sort of the last word I needed. I honestly didn’t expect them to go with the sadder ending, but I would have liked it if they had. I always appreciate when a movie has the balls to go with a more down-beat or bittersweet ending.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Can you remember what the comment was about?

  • Oh. My. Goooodddddd. I kinda wish they had.

    But then they’d have to have an actual sense of humor about these films…

  • Freak #1

    Hey… I am not xenophobic.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    moopies*

  • HNSZ

    What he said on the phone.
    About the China market ruining our movies for us because they keep watching our shitty movies. Therefore shitty movies keep being made, by us.
    I say us but I’m not actually from US. Nor am I living there.

  • Stupid Wizard

    He looks more like Snake from Modern WarGear Solid

    http://www.dougklesch.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/mwgs-snake.jpg

  • LelouchtheFilial

    Waaaaait… did one of Omitted’s comments FINALLY push Jay over the edge and make him delete it?
    What’s… what’s going one here?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    X-Men: Days of Future Future Pants.

    In this version, they recruit a cop from the future future… of spaaaaaace.

  • Stupid Wizard

    You mean that wasn’t him in Black Hawk Down?! My life is a fucking lie!

  • Stupid Wizard

    “He’s not playing with a full dick!”

  • Stupid Wizard
  • Stupid Wizard

    Hai, doggie

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’ve never made that joke before.

    I’ve also never said spaaaace before.

  • Azriel24

    Future-Jay was all “sun’s out guns out” and Mike looked just like Tom Sizemore in Heat. I guess I just needed to write this down since I said it out loud to make it real.

  • Like Icare
  • Cassidy Fitzgerald Liston

    YES! YES! I LOVED EDGE OF TOMORROW AND I’M SO GLAD YOU GUYS LIKED IT, TOO!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Bafrume.

  • Pablumatic

    I can’t believe I’ve been watching videos produced by a former fan of “based on a true story” rip-offs.

    Defriended. Unsubscribed.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You may not have noticed Future Jay’s muscles, but your brain did.

    http://i2.minus.com/jISP612I2x0nE.jpg

  • Dylan A-C

    Snowpiercerrrr

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That’s what I call my dick during the harsh, cold winter months here in Canada.

  • Stupid Wizard

    Notice how you see his right hand. Not to ruin a joke but usually the dominate hand is more muscular than the one that isn’t

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You might not know it, but Jay is a two-hand kinda guy.

    Right, omitted?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I went and watched the Transformers 2 review, and I got the satisfaction I needed from that. I didn’t really need a Trans4mers review. I kinda wish they’d review the ’86 movie, though.

  • Like Icare

    There’s always Tran5former5. And TRAVISFORMERS.
    Followed by 7ransformers. Followed by 8ayformers.
    Followed by “FUCK YOU! IT’S BY MICHAEL BAY! YOU’RE GONNA WATCH IT ANY WAY!”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Oh, THAT phone call. I thought you meant the opening one. I was curious how it could be verbatim. Makes a lot more sense now.

  • Admiral Bone-to-Pick

    If you dislike the “Based on a true story” where only 1% is true, how about Fargo? The movie is 100% fiction, but it doesn’t even give the qualifier “based on”. The opening crawl says:
    “THIS IS A TRUE STORY. The events depicted in this film took place in Minnesota in 1987. At the request of the survivors, the names have been changed. Out of respect for the dead, the rest has been told exactly as it occurred.”
    All lies.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/10792814/The-truth-behind-Fargos-true-story.html

  • Like Icare

    Black yet what?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    This is the second time, actually.

  • omitted

    Tru-dat!

  • luck702

    Transformers deserved exactly as much of Jay and Mike’s time as it got. Fuck that movie.

  • Stupid Wizard

    If they ever cast an Metal Gear Solid movie Jay would be perfect as Snake

    http://images.wikia.com/metalgear/images/archive/7/76/20090410042650!Solid_Snake_(GOTP).JPG

  • luck702

    That was complete satire. Notice how the word TRUE is the last word to fade out.

  • luck702

    I couldn’t stand that movie, especially after hearing it hyped up for weeks.

  • ModernDayMinstrel

    Transcendence.

  • Stupid Wizard

    RIP in peace, Candy Girl

  • Booger

    Best opening ever…followed by the best ending ever.

  • Captain Turbo

    That was lame. Everyone knows you need 1.21 gigawatts to go back to the future future.

  • Captain Turbo

    But Fargo was actually a good movie.

  • Stupid Wizard

    Guys, here is the strangest thought in the world: what if the new Ninja Turtles movie is good like really good?

  • omitted

    When I imagined pushing Jay over the edge this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind

  • jaymanxyz2

    Could you imagine his Old Snake voice? Yikes.

  • Captain Turbo

    I just got a report from the future. It didn’t say anything about being black, but everyone does wear an ascot.

  • Mark Bisone

    I know! It’s almost like Jay is a real human being with feelings, who endures an endless stream of creepy sexual comments from a horde of faceless psychopaths on a daily basis.

  • Booger

    I thought that before seeing the trailer. More 80’s re-over-designed characters in nonsense action schlock(?) and with Bay’s name attached.

  • ModernDayMinstrel

    I want this to happen just to see him inevitably break character.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash
  • Like Icare

    Jay “The Snake”? Plinket?

    Too many similarly sounding names for the mainstream audiences.

  • HNSZ

    More importantly, where is the review of the OST by Ke$ha, I’m Sorry You Can’t Go Out To The Club With Me Because You Died Of Cancer

  • Like Icare

    And it rhymes. Like poetry.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Don’t be silly.

    We all know Rich Evans doesn’t have his licence.

  • Like Icare

    Some say that his suppressed tendencies towards playing with a full dick is what’s making him jump couches and female billionaire media moguls.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zmfd9etbXGE

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    If Jorge wrote this, the whole episode would’ve been whether to add sales taxes to their $20 tab.

    Since it’s a service, is it legal to add sales tax?
    Do Mike & Jay just bite the bullet and walk away with $19.36?
    Do they keep the full $20 and try to cheat the IRS?
    Why would the IRS go after something so simple as $20 in revenue, and how would the IRS find out about it since Jay can’t file his taxes while in the bathroom?

    This is how the great Jorge thinks when it comes to scripts. It’ll be great.

  • Stupid Wizard

    If you rearrange the words Mitchell Taco Nash you get Fuck You Asshole. Which Portland speak for a guy on the internet

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That explains how Steve Buscemi is still alive. I always wondered how that was possible.

    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/aa/Steve_Buscemi_(1996).jpg

  • omitted

    Give me one example when they DON’T do that

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Verizon stole my sunshine. Those bastards.

  • Stupid Wizard

    Canada, eh? Do you happen to be a visual effects artist?

  • omitted

    Another part of my body also noticed them, but apparently I’m not supposed to talk about it

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I so want to Jay with a mustache and a beret, not that silly cowboy hat.

  • omitted

    The first one I understood since I had clearly gone over the line. But this one leaves me a bit puzzled

  • Anthony Zombo

    Isn’t Edge of Tomorrow based on a Japanese Manga called “All You Need Is Kill.”
    Because it sounds exactly like that. Which is cool because it’s a really fun comic series with mechbots and fun characters. The Edge of Tomorrow movie could bring in fans and introduce them to Japanese manga.

  • Nisse

    WTF, why would anybody be more likely to watch a film because it “was based on actual events”? That’s been the reason I didn’t go to films for as long as I remember, it’s an awful compromise where you lose out on facts and fiction equally.

  • Captain Turbo

    You mean that wasn’t his real foot? Fakers.

  • Stupid Wizard

    I loved Snowpiercer, it’s my favorite film so far this year next Dawn of The Rise of The Conquest of Tim Burton’s Planet of The Apes. I can understand how too much hype can kill a movie like the upcoming film Boyhood. The only thing I hear that makes it stand out from other films of that genre is how it was shot which if you put aside makes it kinda boring and generic

  • Stupid Wizard

    Jennifer Lawrence too

  • Meester Smeeth

    What do you mean if? I’m sorry, but if the director of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning and Battle: Los Angeles, paired with Michael Bay no less, doesn’t deliver the reboot to put all reboots to shame then I’ve forgotten the point I was trying to make here entirely.

  • Stupid Wizard

    I just noticed that was Carol’s house. That means they’re already working on another Half in The Bag with Plinkett’s house.

  • Like Icare

    Steve Buscemi is actually a product of an attempt by CIA and the US Army to produce a clone of the president and of the most important scientists in case of a nuclear war with the Russians.
    They used young Steven Prince’s DNA for the experiment. The results were somewhat different from expected.

  • Captain Turbo

    What’s this “Canada” you speak of?

  • Meester Smeeth

    I think that’s the point that Jay was trying to make, though – It doesn’t matter if you bullshit as long as the quality is there. Both Fargo and the TV show based on it are examples of quality film-making, whereas these trash horror movies with the “Based On True Events” tag-line plastered on them are only there to lure naive, superstitious people like Mike Stoklasa into theaters.

  • Stupid Wizard

    The people writing it could save it. It’s not Ehren Kruger or Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman. They’re legitimately good writers.

  • Stupid Wizard
  • Stupid Wizard

    I was talking with some buddies of mine the other and thought after Edge of Tomorrow that Doug Liman should do the live action Ghost in The Shell film instead of that fucker Rupert Sanders. If that asshole casts Kristen Stewart as Motoko Kusanagi I’ll make a 70 minute long analysis on YouTube.

  • Like Icare

    It’s funny because he used to like horses, but now he’s dead and dead people don’t like anything.

  • There’s a difference between “directed” and “shot” though.
    The director choreographs the action scenes, everything will be per-visualised by the director right down to the frame, so even though they may not be physically there on set, I think it’s fair to say it’s still the director’s vision.
    Honestly there’s no point the director being there, it could take hours to safely rig up a building with explosives and when it goes off it’s not like the director can give notes to the fireball and go again.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    Hey, now, the only reason I’m a faceless psychopath is because I cut off my face and mailed it to Jay.
    The deleted comment actually seemed kind of tame to the stuff Omitted wrote… like, a few scrolls up.
    But, we don’t want to make Jay feel uncomfortable. We have Mike’s deterioration into alcoholic lunacy for that.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    Really? I’ve only had one!
    When it comes down to it, don’t we ALL deserve to be deleted, at least once or twice?

  • I highly doubt it and anyway I’m almost certain BlipTV can’t play back a higher frame rates (neither can youtube).
    A lot of people seemed to be really uninformed as to what HFR looks like because it’s not this.

  • Meester Smeeth

    You never know.

  • Chuck Chuck Razool

    Jay and Mike have terrible trigger discipline. Keep your booger hook off the bang switch, you fucks!

    Also, Jay’s gainz are showing

  • LelouchtheFilial

    Mike and Jay have murdered no less than sixteen Rich Evanses over the course of Half in the Bag’s run.
    I don’t think their lack of trigger discipline is a surprise to anyone.

  • Chuck Chuck Razool

    But what happens when they run out of Rich Evanses? What kind of world are we leaving for our children? #R.E.cycle

  • LelouchtheFilial

    You know, I do want to see ‘Edge of Tomorrow’ now. I saw the trailer figured “Hey! Tom Cruise! I think I’ve just figured out a good DVD rental down the line!”
    I’m glad that it’s good. I just reeeeeeeally don’t give a shit about Tom Cruise. I like him in Tropic Thunder, but when he’s Action Man… I don’t know, there comes a point where charisma encroaches on blandness.
    I just can’t get excited over the guy.
    A few years back, before my fourth year of seventh grade, I was at Disney World with my family and, one night, I returned to the hotel room early because “Small World” gives me night-terrors.. The next morning, when I woke up, my mom told me how she and the rest of the family SAW Tom Cruise and she showed me a picture she took of him, waving like a pageant girl with Suri by his side.
    And my reaction wasn’t, “OH, NO! I could have seen Tom Cruise IN PERSON! I COULD HAVE FELT TALL FOR ONCE!?!?!”
    No, my reaction was basically, “Can’t a little girl just enjoy Disney World in peace?”
    I think I’m even tired of hating Tom Cruise. I feel nothing, now. Nothing at all.
    I’m just an empty shell…


    It looks like a good movie, though.

  • patrick h. lauke

    The old lady sure likes her After Effects books…

  • Uhhmwhat

    It is a true story. It’s true that its a story.

  • James

    On the topic of War Of The Worlds, that’s a great movie. The ending is… what it is, but the body of the movie is fantastic.

  • James

    I really loved Cruise in the part. I’m so used to seeing him play the smartest guy in the room in all of his action movies that it was refreshing to see him play an inexperienced grunt who actually has to develop for once.

  • Like Icare

    That’s probably why VIZ Media came up with this piece of shit.
    To introduce fans to Japanese manga.

    See how much better it is?
    All in color and with the same story told in just quarter of the pages of the original manga.

  • Like Icare

    Actually they seem to have some trouble with that.
    I guess it takes a lot of effort to properly synchronize the holes and everything while trapped in such an enclosed environment.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkRH6hU6Zj0

  • Jean-François Martel

    Cool, i just watched the entire Hellraiser series this weekend so i’m inspired!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yes. He’s made a critically acclaimed short film called “Cet”. You may have heard of it. It’s made entirely in CGI!

  • Jean-François Martel

    i’m sure he’d even let you call him Daddy Jay

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    “No more Mr. Nice Guy.
    No more Mr. Clee-eee-eee-ean.”

  • Otto: Autopilot

    Homoerotic references to Jay are like sand, they’re coarse, rough, and irritating, and they get everywhere.

  • Jean-François Martel

    i’m especially anticipating the last one. You think it’ll be in D-BOX?

  • 120chester

    Doug Liman makes little indie movies?! Does Jay really not know that Doug Liman directed THE BOURNE IDENTITY?!!!!!

  • omitted

    Doubt it, since my not-so-subtle post appraising Future Jay’s looks got deleted

  • Mark Bisone

    Look, just because 90% of the commentators here want to make a fur shirt out of Jay’s beard doesn’t mean we can’t take the motherfucker’s feelings into account.

    Imagine wading daily through these forums to screen them for scat pornography and spree killer manifestos, only to find out half of the posts are infantile come-on’s from lonely Scandinavian closet cases?

    (And I don’t even have to imagine that; it’s practically my night job.)

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Oh, so that’s why you were missing your face before.

    http://redlettermedia.com/rlm-studio-time-lapse-7-9-14/#comment-1482468315

  • Moses McSamson

    Would you say that this is RLM’s Last Temptation of Christ?

  • Well, book first, then manga.

  • Jean-François Martel

    which isn’t saying much tbh

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Exactly. There was nothing they could say about the new Transformers that they haven’t said before in their reviews for the previous Transformers movies.

  • Jean-François Martel

    I want Nathan Fillion to get the chance to play a villain again like he did in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. He was fucking scary as Caleb.

  • Jean-François Martel

    maybe he just brought it back with him in the future, the only memory left of you.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    “Jay-El”? I’m thinking of a potential Man of Steel sequel.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Isn’t that an episode of Knight Kourth?

  • omitted

    Aww!

  • Jean-François Martel

    Mike doesn’t like community?

  • My ex wife

    It also makes a quick escape after Mike puts it down.

  • Alex Lee

    That casting choice does kinda make sense, though, seeing as how Kristen Stewart is half robot anyways.

    Seriously, I’d rather have someone like Scarlett Johansson play that role.

  • Shane Nolan

    Hey now that that they have a new star in their show in the form of this new customer I’m just wondering what happened to mr Plinkett it been ages since I last saw so I’ve kinda forgotten what happened to him. What was the last episode

  • Jean-François Martel

    he probably furiously masturbates to it

  • joey

    bauman’s role is utterly undeveloped in this masterpice of known histoy. Dear Mr. Bauman, you can just let that old bum go mad like that! WORST PERFORMANCE EVER!

  • Alex Lee

    I actually feel bad for Megan Fox. You can tell the only reason she’s acting again is because she came crawling back to Michael Bay on her hands and knees. Not that she’s a good actress, but I don’t think she has a shred of decency left to her.

  • Alex Lee

    “I’m not supposed to tell you anything about the future, but whatever!”

    Jay Bauman

  • jaymanxyz2

    Ehhhh, I’m thinkin’ more Julie Andrews. Or Meryl Streep. Right? I’m not crazy, right?

  • Tyler Young

    I believe it does. While it is by no means a good movie, it managed to be one that was more or less fun (when I wasn’t suffering from exhaust), and I actually didn’t regret seeing it.

  • BYH

    Surprised they didn’t mention that R.I.P.D. film.

  • My ex wife

    I agree with Johnbigbooty and Azriel24 further up, who points out.

    Michael Cheritto.

  • Jean-François Martel

    i love this because it looks like Rich is stuck in an endless time loop, forcing him to clean the same area over and over again, forever.

  • My ex wife

    John de Lancie?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    It must of been those funyuns Jay ate in a previous set design video that got him great shape.

  • Jean-François Martel

    it’s your peepee?

  • Jean-François Martel

    you either choke on a cheeseburger, or you live long enough to see yourself save the universe

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Even if Jay just casually masturbates, it’s a win-win for everyone.

  • Thomas Goresen

    I was happy to see John Goodman land the role of future Mike.

  • My ex wife

    What the hell is a jigawatt!?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Bay-D.

  • Captain Turbo

    I made a 70 minute long analysis the other day… but it was because I was backed up from eating so much cheese.

  • Jean-François Martel

    really for Anne Hathaway? Is it because you’ve seen her in too much stuff?

  • LelouchtheFilial

    Has anyone made a comment about how Jay is “confirmed for gray” yet?
    Because I feel compelled to make that joke, but I’m afraid that someone has beaten me to it, and Mitchell Taco Nash will post a screenshot of the original comment under mine and I’ll feel quite foolish.
    Just in case it IS an original joke, though– looks like Jay is confirmed for gray.

  • capnmorgan5150

    Man, sometimes it’s hard to tell when these guys are being sarcastic. Seriously, I’m not being sarcastic as I write this.

  • My ex wife

    I think you’re safe.

  • stoopsmcoops

    I lost it at “he isn’t related to Ralph Kramden either, you fuckin idiot.” Great job guys! Also Jay’s arms because I’m not gay?

  • You guys don’t know who Doug fucking Liman is? Come on now! I don’t even!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Um, intentional irony, much?

  • Captain Turbo

    What you need to get back to the future future.

  • Captain Turbo

    Does Rich Evans play the old lady?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I’m with you. Right down to the Fuck-You Twist.

    I loved the ending, though, just because it’s gotta make Rightie ideologues heads explode when they see SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER

    the final two survivors of the human race are people of color who are gonna have to kill a big, WHITE bear.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Why does your avatar look like Harry Knowles?

    If that’s a selfie, you have my sympathies.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You’ve seen all four, and you admit they are painfully dumb.

    Why do you hate yourself?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I dunno. SNOWPIERCER is really dumb, so obviously at least Korea is trying to dose us with our own medicine.

  • Tyler Young

    I’m a masochist tbh

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    While that was a pretty funny joke it’ll be even funnier he actually has gray hair.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Look, the marketplace has spoken, and since you’re capitalists you must honor its decision.

    Nobody wants too see Tom Cruise anymore.

  • Jean-François Martel

    i kinda want to see that. If you get Jeremy Renner to come on board you might make it to BROADWAYYY!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    he died.rip in piece.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    But you spell “us” U S, so I allow and endorse your comment.

  • picklebucket

    Legitimately disappointed we didn’t get another skewering of a Transformers movie. I feel cheated.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    See, now I’m curious… but I guess I’ll never know what that comment was, because Jay sees all.

  • Pablumatic

    I usually only post at Harry’s hole, aintitcool.com.

    However I am probably about as ugly as the man, so thanks for the internet sympathy.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    They said everything there is to say about how terrible Michael Bay is.
    I’d actually feel more cheated if they spent an entire episode repeating themselves.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I guess it would be like someone seeing Hermione instead of Emma Watson. I saw Anne in Princess Diaries, and although I only watched it once, that’s all I see, because she doesn’t look any different than when she did as a teenager. At least Watson kinda sexi-fied a bit as she’s gotten older. I just see Hathaway as a wide-eyed kid.

  • Jean-François Martel

    YOU GOT THE TOUCH!

  • wmooring

    I wasn’t even aware of this. Being a big fan of the GitS franchise (more the animated TV series than the movies), I think I’m just going to pretend I didn’t hear anything and ignore everything about the upcoming movie, including its release.

  • wmooring

    That’s… not the worst casting idea I’ve heard, actually: http://37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1xenj9EEQ1rsxv4ko1_500.jpg

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    They just rebuilt t̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶e̶t̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶h̶o̶u̶s̶e̶, I mean his house so I think we’ll be seeing more of him.

  • omitted

    Maybe you can glean the gist of my post from Domo’s and my first responses to it. I thought it was an amusing variant on the Edge of Tomorrow’s tagline. Guess not

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I found that soundtrack this weekend at a comic-con. My workout playlist has never been better!

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    Canada, eh? Do you know Colinfromcanada?

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    Was it better than Curse of the Fist of the Warriors of Len Kabasinski’s Swamp Wolf Zombies? (Just imagine the theme song for that and try not to jizz your pants)

  • J from Raleigh

    Finally, you guys are talking about movies people care about! I don’t like the new set… too much space. I’d like to see both of your ugly faces in frame when you’re talking about a film.

    Your hate of Tom Cruise is a little silly. Yeah the guy has problems, and by most accounts, he’s a cunt, but who cares. He’s a decent everyman actor. You really have to start drawing a line on how much you care about actors personal lives.

    The book that Edge of Tomorrow is based off, All You Need is Kill, is great by the way. It explains how the aliens work and sorta what they are after. Also, the love story is important in the book that it’s based of. It’s a short, well written book and I recommended it.

  • J from Raleigh

    He kind a wore a shirtless shirt and flexed.. hard to miss. haha

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    “I’ve got all these nanobots that, like, heal me and stuff”

  • John Cool

    In his defense the latest seasons have been terrible

  • NotRickBerman

    Because why else would I go see Battleship if it wasn’t based on real events? You kids don’t know your history good.

  • Gobshite

    Great review of Transformers. Really did it justice.

  • Mike Perry

    I’ve been waiting for this review and I’m so happy they enjoyed it. I agree with Jay about the shaky cam. Had to look away a few times because it was so shaky but this movie is great compared to others. Love RLM!

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    15 year old me would. Hope that helps. Everything will be okay for Rich Evans will provide. Rich Evans will protect.

  • NotRickBerman

    Every frame is so dense.

  • NotRickBerman

    Sarcasm is the new sincerity.

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    If blood isn’t gushing out of their heads how will I know if they don’t actually like Transformers?

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    I feel more cheated that Rich Evans didn’t play they old lady. Perfect casting choice. Could’ve been great.

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    He’s come quite a ways:

    http://youtu.be/EPx9OA9sz7A?t=16s

  • NotRickBerman

    Sitting on a couch. Sitting on a couch. Two people, talking in a room. Two people talking. Shot in schlock, reverse schlock.

  • Thanatos2k

    I didn’t say their money. Any money going to Bay is a crime.

  • Stupid Wizard

    Thanks a lot, bye.

  • Alex Lee

    “Every shot has a special effect.”

    That’s actually truer now than when Rick McCallum said it.

  • Stupid Wizard

    Jay is a complete fraud. Near Lucas levels

  • Stupid Wizard

    Crazy though but what if they cast a Japanese women as Motoko?

  • LelouchtheFilial

    ………………………….oh, shit.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    Your lascivious comments have been omitted.

  • Bahareh Khosravi

    Not even Tommy Wiseau can top these action scenes!

  • omitted

    Oh snap!

  • Stupid Wizard

    “That Liquid Ocelot, what a hack”

  • ModernDayMinstrel

    Rich “Dink” Evans is a straight arrow, he would never “play” anyone.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Just go watch the Half In The Bag: Transformers Triple Feature, imagine there’s a fourth screen showing Age of Extinshun, and you are done.

  • Homncruse

    Looks like the patreon money is funding a nice cocaine habit. Mike and Jay were all over the place in this episode, it was so weird.

  • fred

    I check this webzone every time I’m using a computer. As the screen was loading I was like “there’s a new video, I can feel it…holy shhhhit.”

  • Noah Roalson

    Gay4Jay

  • Mitchell Taco Nash
  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’m afraid LelouchtheFilial has already beaten you too it.

    http://i2.minus.com/j1UrCYNH4RyiE.jpg

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    What’s your number?

  • blau

    That’s gonna be great.

  • Will Wright

    Holy shit, that BRLRBLRBLRBL noise at the jump scare in the trailer made me cry of laughter.

  • fred

    I’m not sure why, but the Grinch made me laugh.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    Fuck THAT guy!
    I’m going back in time to murder his ass.

  • jaymanxyz2

    Mike’s aggressive editing is pretty funny. Especially when he drowns out Jay’s ramblings about Community.

  • fred

    That was a good show for two seasons.

  • ModernDayMinstrel

    Season 4 was unwatchable for me

  • Cameron Vale

    Second units have their own directors though, so that wouldn’t be true in a purely literal sense.

  • ModernDayMinstrel

    Transformers: Review of Justice

  • Lat

    It’s gonna be great.

  • Lat

    I had my face covered during that part (I really, really hate scary movies) and when it happened I thought, “What the fuck was that? That was a weird noise to edit into a review for a scary movie.”

    Turns out it was a Fuck You It’s January noise.

  • Stardog Champion

    OMG! That has got to be HITB’s best ending EVER! Now I am curious about the new genetics war.

  • Lat

    His evil twin brother died. Do you even HITB?

  • Stupid Wizard

    SPOILERS!

    It’s actually you

  • Lat

    Oh…. (Plinkett voice)

  • Stupid Wizard

    Strange I happen to be an amazing editor of moopies

    http://www.youtube.com/embed/JuGG6b2i600

  • Duckler

    Wait, I was funding this shit?! I though I was doing installment payments on a case of
    Patron Tequila…

  • Duckler

    While I disagree with your sentiment, I will defend your right to post that picture with my life.

  • Duckler

    That guy who would one day be the real Obi-Wan went to the RichEvans factory and secured the deal. Or something. Everything is all blurring together into a vortex of Idontevenknow.

  • Mike

    Nice After Effects library, granny.

  • Duckler

    It’s been like 6 weeks, and I have to Google Edge of Tomorrow…

  • Duckler

    .. Of Space. Bring your dead wife’s portrait. (Or is she still alive?)

  • hamsterfist

    How has Plinkett not reviewed 8mm? I mean, common!

  • Mike

    Nice FitBit, gramps.

  • Mojo

    The Bible, “based on real events”?

  • Dradeeus

    I totally agree with Jay about the “grinch” segment. Halfway through the movie, in the back of my head, I was thinking “I know these are two pretty people, and I know the movie’s setting it up, but it’d be awesome if they just remained really good ‘war buddy’ friends that respected each other.” You know, just to show it’s a little different in that regard.

  • Crikey Mate Down Under Aussie

    Jay looking good in 2035

  • Mike

    Oh my gooooooooooood.

  • Mike

    Mike has a different voice in 2002. This might be a parallel timeline.

  • Stupid Wizard

    At least Rich Evans has always remained Rich Evans.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    If you watched the previous video, you’d know they already tore down this set.

  • Alex

    I don’t know for some reason, getting rid of his power took away all the tension for me at once. It was the usual obstacle for the final act and you knew this movie is reaching it’s final 10min with it’s Hollywood Happy-happy-joy-joy ending.
    The movie was quite unpredictable up until this moment, and after that, you knew where the whole thing will be going.
    So yeah, a very good movie, I enjoyed it quite a bit and hope more blockbusters would put the same effort in characters and motivations. Too bad the movie loses steam at the end, but it’s definitely a recommended watch.

  • Alex

    I would have loved to see Sam Rockwell in this.

  • Stupid Wizard

    It’s okay if you want to ride Tom’s Cruise ship, Mike. Everyone is secretly in love with a celebrity or a fictional character. Like me. Man I would love to Karen her O

    http://www.twentyfourbit.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/karen-o.jpeg

  • Alex

    2 minutes is all this movie deserves, let’s not waste our precious lifetime with the beating on a dead horse.

  • MrFahrenheit2k

    What the hell’s with the camera positioning in this episode, you bunch of hacks? Were you drunk the whole time? It’s like everything was shot on a board of sinking TitTanic!

  • tsjoot

    Can’t wait to see how Rich Evans will be tied into this new plot (if it even continues… please let it continue!)

  • Daniel Nguyen-Phuoc

    Hah, pretty sure Jay’s future choice of wardrobe is due to the overwhelming love for his arms in Internet comments.

    Or from the Eugenics War. You know.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Oh, wow. I must have been dreaming.

  • bb-15

    The gang were in top form with this episode.
    – As for exorcism movies ‘based on real events’, the original Exorcist started that.
    The true story was about some kid who locked himself in his room, did some wall banging and growling.
    Then the book and movie blew that up with a floating bed and a stream of puke.
    – It’s funny that it took Mike this long to catch on to that gimmick.

  • fred

    I quit around season 3 ep 2. It just wasn’t the same. Kinda like every season of the Walking Dead that’s not the first one.

  • fred

    Yeah..I always thought he had more discernment as a film artist.

  • I agree but “Second Unit Director” is a different job to director, they don’t really have any creative power, they just make sure everything runs smoothly on the day.
    It varies heavily from case to case but some directors storyboard everything, rehearse with the actors, then hand over to the “First AD” on the day and only step in when there’s a problem. But that doesn’t mean the First AD “directed” the film.
    It’s even more complicated with Animation, Wes Anderson apparently wasn’t there for most of the animation process of Fantastic Mr Fox but no one is doubting he directed it.

  • There’s a difference between “Director (the creative vision
    behind the film)
    ” and “Director (the person directing
    people on the day, which is like directing traffic)
    although not by name unfortunately.
    When Mike asked if someone else “directed” the action scenes, I think he was talking creatively and artistically, not who was bossing people around on the day.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    Haven’t heard that one before…

  • I was shooting a 48 hour film and we didn’t have permission for a location. To minimize the people potentially trespassing I just sent the Director of Photography and actor to jump over the fence, they got the shot and came back.
    Essentially he was “second unit director” for that one shot (although he didn’t want the credit) that’s a practical example of the director not physically being there.

  • Marcus

    The lady stole the clock from the VCR-repair shop!

  • Lembach

    But where the hell was The Tape??? Major fucking plot hole!

  • Duckler

    Tuesday.

  • Duckler

    Real events are boring to base movies on because those “real events” don’t exist.

  • Duckler

    Honestly, does “random superwoman” actually sell movies anymore?

  • Stupid Wizard

    What does that have to do with Karen O?

  • Duckler

    Divide the cumulative number of forks by the the sum total of hack frauds. That should give you the answer.

  • Like Icare

    Based on a true story.

  • Woody Mellow

    Creatively and even artistically action sequences are often devised and executed independently of the credited director. In some cases scenes are completely prevized before a director is even attached. This is the reason so many non action directors get these gigs. The studio wants people who can direct the actors and make the story work. They’re not worried about the action. They’ve got experts for that. Granted however that in most cases the director is involved but in even more cases they’re not even on set when the action is shot

  • Like Icare

    Or a prison movie.
    And again I’m thinking of Cage.

    Or… It can be a Man of Steel sequel, taking place in the Phantom Zone (i.e. a space-jail), starring Nicolas Cage as the “ghost of Superman” (i.e. a space-angel) who’s looking for Gwildor’s cosmic key which he needs to get to the Castle Grayskull before becoming a living skeleton.
    He is assisted by Ivan Drago (played by Jay), Monica Geller and Tom Paris.

    Spoiler: It turns out that the true key is the power of friendship – i.e. it’s in the arms of his friends (i.e. Ivan Drago, i.e. Jay).

  • Duckler

    Everything.

  • Nah some other idiot beat me to it by a measly couple of seconds…

  • Depends on the property and director I guess. I thought that only tended to happen when a director was brought in at the last minute, and then there are many other areas they don’t have creative control either.
    This is Doug Liman’s third action film, so I feel he has a talent for it. I always liked him before this, the film Jumper had a lot of problems, but they were mostly with the script, the action was actually very well directed. I was hoping he’d get a project to showcase his talents.
    It will be very weird watching Ant-Man now Edgar Wright has left (I may not watch it for that reason) because he’s already pre-visualised all the action scenes and he has a very particular style, the new director may have to imitate for the rest of the film so the style is cohesive.

  • according to them they did it as a joke though…dunno if that makes a diff.

  • maggit

    42

  • Like Icare

    Not unless they upgrade to at least a DD standard by then.

    It is a Michael Bay movie after all.

  • Woody Mellow

    Well Ant-Man is a perfect example AND an exception. The exception because Wright is very hands on with his action and I’m sure shoots everything except maybe the bigger more dangerous stunts, so had he stayed on then what I’ve been saying wouldn’t apply. But now, as you say, the action we’ll see in the final film will almost certainly be Wright’s (and his team’s) vision.

  • NotRickBerman

    Every frame is so dense.

  • “Liman is a great director, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he takes the same action team with him from film to film.”
    Which is another good point, what is a director and what is their team?
    When directors always have the same DoP, first AD and crew they work with, how can you tell what is their auteurist vision and what is the creative input of the crew.
    Film is defiantly a collaborative experience but I think we can give Doug Liman credit for the action sequences, even if his skill is picking the right people and giving them the environment to shine (sometimes that’s what directing actors is too).

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Your dear mamma shoulda told you to stay away from nasty holes. Creatures tend to lurk there, and you could get a disease.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    They also caused cocaine.
    Fucking Bee Gees.

  • Paulus Cañamonjas

    I love it too, there´s a bit of a friendly tug-of-war goin on. This has to be Mike´s revenge on Jay´s: “You´re a grinch” in Ep 45 (The Last Stand).

  • Welcome Back Otter

    Is Travisformers the one where the robots turn into a briefly popular Scottish indie band?

  • Welcome Back Otter

    Plot hole!

  • Welcome Back Otter

    Damn. Should have scrolled down.

  • StopThinkingBrainUrGoingToHurt

    “Inspired by events from the future of space”

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I just wanted to fund fire extinguishers and crack. My dreams will never be realized.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Thank the stars I’m not the only one who hates scary movies. The more I think about it, though, I just really hate jump scares. They’re so common anymore that I consistently expect them, and have my face covered before the scary stuff even starts.

  • Coridan Kendrick Miller

    I guess they are saving Transformers 4 for a more in-depth Plinkett teardown

  • HE1NZ

    Well, aren’t they?

  • Jar Jar Binks

    meesa da key to all dis

  • Michael Perry

    Whoa, I am also called Mike Perry. Whoa.

  • Ogrot

    I for one am looking forward to the Great Eugenics War. It’s good to see RLM is raising awareness for this often overlooked period in our future.

  • Excellent room smashing. Great ending. Deborah Clifton is a great addition. I hope she can tolerate RLM weirdness and stick around.

  • Time travel plot hole I guess.

  • Like Icare

    Not much is certain yet (except that it will be longer and with more explosions) but as far as indie bands go I’m guessing that Bay may find a way for it to… play.

    If… say… all band members are to be replaced with sexy young women.

    OK…

  • Like Icare

    Not much is certain yet (except that it will be longer and with more explosions) but as far as indie bands go I’m guessing that Bay may find a way for it to… play.

    If… say… all band members are to be replaced with sexy young women.

    OK…

  • Dr. Blake Downs

    Fuck that. The kids in that movie were such a drag. We had a overly-moody teenager who didn’t want be around his dad. Btw, not a chance in hell that kid survives on his own going into battle with no equipment. Then there’s daddy’s little girl who is incredibly annoying(screaming). The movie would have been better served if the children angle was removed and replaced with Tom Cruise’s character and the character’s wife.

  • Guest
  • Guest
  • Guest
  • James

    I love the film but I will say I agree with you to an extent that this was the film’s flaw.

    His son was an incredibly annoying and one-dimensional character. Which is a shame because their relationship, I think, was actually quite an interesting one. I love the moment where he tells his son that if he ever borrows his car again he’s calling the cops. Just little things like that, that give you insight into their relationship and Cruise’s character, are terrific. It’s a shame the son wasn’t interesting or likeable himself. And yeah, no way he would have survived. This is the issue with the ending.

    As for his daughter, I think the biggest issue there was that Dakota Fanning was a little old to be playing such a naive little girl. She was about twelve or so, yet much of the writing for her character seemed to be intended for a much younger character, maybe an eight year old girl. So the issue became this – she was young when they needed her to be so that she’d make dumb decisions and be the innocence amidst the horror that Cruise needed to protect, and yet older at times, so that she could have a complex relationship with her estranged father. The juxtaposition of the two didn’t quite work.

    But outside of that, visually and atmospherically, and especially structurally, I think the film is superb. It’s excellently paced, and Spielberg really sells the horror of the event. It’s a harrowing and brutally haunting film at times (the initial tripod scene is incredible) and Tom Cruise is perhaps the perfect guy to play the family man falling apart amidst this crisis. I really, really love it, despite its flaws. I wish Spielberg would make a fully post-apocalyptic film, because the glimpses of it we saw in WotW were breathtaking.

  • I hope she’s the villain in Space Cop. 😀

  • Otto: Autopilot

    Because you’re a funnier character…ahh whatever.

  • Mexipox

    Ronald Reagan cameo at 34:18!

  • Brack to the Future

    I haven’t seen eDGE OF toMORROW, but existing for now on this plane as a time-traveling alien from 2016 I can say that Tom Cruise becomes one of your greatest earthly heroes. Mark my alien words.

    Brack is more trustworthy than most time-traveling aliens from 2016 because although he owns an interocitor, he do not have an ovipositor. (Forgive me, in the future even campaign underlings have their own slogans.)

    TOM CRUISE FOR GALACTIC EMPEROR 2016
    Sponsor of the MAKE AI ACCOUNTABLE ACT
    “When machines are fudgepackers, Humanity ceases to exist”

    Vote Tom!

  • Michael Kennedy

    It’s like poetry.

  • Meester Smeeth

    Or love interest. Or both!

  • WilliamYancey

    I couldn’t agree more with Jay’s comment about the “shaky cam” in action movies. I can’t stand that crap.

  • Brian Levine

    I think that they gave it all the review it was worthy of.

  • Brian Levine

    Can’t wait until they explain how a war that was fought in the 1990s will get fought in the 2030s

  • Brian Levine

    I got the feeling that this is definitely leading up to Space Cop.

  • Brian Levine

    Honestly, I was hoping that these three movies were going to be the next Best of the Worst.

  • Captain Turbo

    It’s spelled EdG3 oF 2MorRW, dammit!

  • Eric McHugh
  • Meester Smeeth

    Some people reckoned the Robocop review would lead up to Space Cop. Some people watch The Shining backwards and forwards at the same time.

  • Meester Smeeth

    I bet it’s something to do with Jennifer Lawrence.

  • Meester Smeeth

    There are no plot holes. All the questions were answered. It all made perfect sense. You just didn’t understand it.

  • Meester Smeeth

    Dream on.

  • dickard

    At the beginning of Edge of Tomorrow, I saw Tom Cruise as more of the “Jerry McGuire”/”Jasper Irving (Lions for Lambs)”-sleaze-ball-politician-Tom Cruise turned (by the end of the movie) to “Top Gun”/”Mission Impossible”-unrealistic-action-hero-Tom Cruise. If you ask me it was a perfectly cast roll for him…… Keep up the good work. You guys have saved me $100’s of dollars in movie tickets over the years steering me away from crap movies. Your reviews have always been spot on (good, bad, or “meh….”).

  • Chris

    I’m not even sure if the transformers movie is worth pirating. I mean, I illegally downloaded and watched the previous transformers movies…. AND NOW I WANT MY MONEY BACK, BAY!

  • Robby

    What are those things on their chest?

  • TheSwamp

    More like Saving Private Ryan + StarCraft + Groundhog Day

  • Robby

    It seems like this episode was a real turning point for Half in the Bag. Mike admits he’s done watching the “Based/Inspired by true events” movies, and they don’t even bother talking too much about Transformers 4. It’s like a given now what those movies are. They don’t need to eviscerate another Adam Sandler or Michael Bay movie, unless it’s a special kind of horrifying.

  • Admiral Bone-to-Pick

    I dunno. I remember about 10 years ago seeing an interview (on one of those ‘Top 100 Best Movie’ shows in Britain) with some guy who’d worked on the movie, and he claimed that after they’d produced the movie, they decided more or less on a whim that the movie might be more of a hit if they tacked this bit on the front about it all being true. Also, in interviews the Cohen brothers kept the myth up for years, first claiming it was 100% true, then when that was disproven they began claiming that bits of it were true but based on several different events from other years in other states, and then only finally admitting it was all fiction. I reckon if it was intentional irony they’d have admitted it right away.

  • TheSwamp

    Lol @ the grinch pics.

  • Porco Rosso

    Woah, what was up with this episode. Were you guys having a bad day or something? It just seemed so unnecessarily hostile compared to how it normally is.

  • Jason Ross

    Does anyone have a HitB tradition?

    Me… I strip down naked and fold up a fleece blanket on my computer chair so my hairy ass sweats and soaks the carpet around the chair.

    I also eat pre-made cookiedough that i let thaw briefly in the fridge, whilst trying to see how far I can insert a corkscrew under my fingernails. I try to go further with each finger. I lick the blood.

  • RichEvansOnSteroids

    I guess he doesn’t.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I think you may have been possessed by a VCR. I know because I sold it to you!!!

  • Meester Smeeth
  • robottawa

    But then again, why wouldn’t they get together? Tom Cruise has spent literally years with her as the only person he can really talk to that understands him, and he also finds himself continually saving and being saved by her. And again, Emily Blunt meets the only person on the planet who also went through her similarly traumatic Groundhog Day experience and is pretty much single-handedly saving the planet. They’re beautiful single people with a lot of very rare things in common doing very romantic things together.

  • Jason Ross

    We people in Chicago are proud of our VCRs and are NOT poisoned. You are predjudice and sickening

  • Easton Houle

    I think Noah comes out tomorrow, on digital demand. You guys can still review it; it’s a fabulous movie. I’m saying this under the assumption that you guys didn’t give it a watch.

  • mk741

    A Paul Thomas Anderson fan like Jay should remember Cruise’s performance in Magnolia.

    Probably the best part about the film, albeit being the weakest Anderson feature I’ve seen.

  • Sulfur12

    Isn’t it obvious? it was just so dense.

  • omitted

    I think describing my HitB traditions would end up getting my comment deleted again

  • omitted

    They must be genetically altered

  • Alex Lee

    They need to construct more pylons.

  • Duckler

    Really, extinguishers are not cheap. I cringe when I see one being depleted in such a manner. Fire inspections must be hell for these guys.

  • My ex wife

    Never heard of it myself.

  • Duckler

    I go to Wisconsin and cry to myself.

  • No

    I hope those are all Wheel of the worst movies. haha

  • No

    You better shut your alien mouth, Xenu !

  • Duckler

    When’s the next Rich Evans eats a McRib?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    The ultimate irony will be the RLM building going down in a sea of flames over a gas leak, with Rich Evans’ 10+ extinguishers sitting in a broom closet, waiting for their comedic purpose someday.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Personally I’m suffering from Jessi withdrawls. The old Jessi is just not enough. I need Days of Future Jessi to take hold.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I thought Tom Cruise did great in Eyes Wide Shut, however I liked that he plays a character who thinks he has so much power, and is really nothing more than a pawn. Whether intentional or not by Kubrick, his fame worked favorably for that film.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I watched 15 minutes of Pain and Gain from Netflix to see if this was what RLM meant by funny bad. I’m not a good predictor of funny bad movies.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Build-a-Person Workshop.

  • Michael Collins

    This was a good episode, will check out EoT as it’s just opened here last week.
    Glad they didn’t dwell too long on T4, and the Deliver us review was pretty funny..

  • Lembach

    Check it out: Brack has visible panty line.

  • Thomas Hunt

    I hope they review Foxcatcher when it comes out in November.

  • Lembach

    I understood it. I was going for a “reactionary anonymous internet critic” thing. Sorry I had to spell it out for you there.

  • Jason Ross

    Nah, you are menstruating.

  • Thanatos2k

    No, she promotes them to guards on the Gamestation.

  • Thanatos2k

    With a Case Closed avatar, priceless.

  • Thanatos2k

    This is pretty terrifying actually. Did he get a voice transplant to make his voice better?

  • Thanatos2k

    I have no doubt in my mind that that is impossible.

  • Thanatos2k

    I don’t like Firefly. Bring it.

  • Thanatos2k

    Get that man our Just for Men brush in color gel!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQNkKTlDilY

  • Thanatos2k

    To those wondering if we're going to review Transformers 4, we already did: http://t.co/Wa8Ll6Ur7H— Red Letter Media (@redlettermedia) June 29, 2014

    (Why the hell does it post it twice?)

  • Thanatos2k

    The tape was in the VCR all along.

  • Thanatos2k
  • Thanatos2k

    When McRib comes back? Duh.

  • omitted

    He just drank a bottle of whiskey every day for a decade

  • omitted

    It turned out be just a bunny fad?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Instead of nonmedy, it’s like inspiration-medy. Instead of feeling inspired by the movie’s monologue, you want to spew profanities at your dog.

  • mk741

    Also enjoy Cruise’s performance in the film, even though it’s overshadowed/ completely secondary to Kubrick’s immaculate direction.

  • JackgarPrime

    I think the real purpose of having Tom Cruise being in there, and especially so up-and-front is really for the Japanese audiences. Edge of Tomorrow is based off the Japanese book “All You Need is Kill”, which is the name it was still marketed under over there. And man, the Japanese looooooooooove Tom Cruise. I understand it’s doing very well over there, so there ya go. It’s material they’re already aware of, and they got a big famous Hollywood actor right up in your face on all the promotional material.

    By the way, it’s still worth reading the light novel even if you’ve seen the movie. There are enough differences (including in the ending) to make it still worthwhile.

  • Chris

    A man I know said that “Deliver us from Evil” was as good as – if not better than – “The Exorcist.”

  • Chris

    knew*

  • Fuck Me I’m January

    Her name’s going to be Love Interest and she’s going to fuck a horse.

  • Jean-François Martel

    I like Firefly but at this point the fans have raised the show to the level of deity or something. It’s very good, but it’s not THAT great. Plus they keep wanting it to be renewed… Y’ALL GOT A MOVIE, ASSHOLES, BE THANKFUL FOR THAT!

  • dungeon master

    Where’s Source Code?

  • Was he frothing at the mouth and saying not so nice things about your mother? Because you just can’t trust people like that.

  • dungeon master

    It’s stilistillisticly design to be that way.

  • dungeon master

    I’d go gay for this young mike.

  • Junkie

    Good golly gosh, now I’m super spooked! Better call up a priest and have this comment section exorcised.

  • Pulp

    The Gospels are also based on actual events.

  • So I just saw Rise of the breaking dawn on the dark side of the moon of the planet of the apes part 8…and I absolutely loved it! I’d really like to see what the guys thought of it, but seems like they were wrapping up summer blockbuster season with this review though…

  • Lat

    Wait. That’s NotRickBerman. What is it with Ricks?

  • Stupid Wizard

    Execute comment 66

  • Lat

    I really enjoyed it too, but, without getting too much into SPOILER territory, the scene when Koba was duel wielding those LMGs while on horseback had me in tears. I looked back at the screen just in time to see the chimp standing on the trolley get blown to smitherings. The most unintentionally funny scene in recent film.

    Also, it’s amazing how much Hollywood is relying on pre-established movies to make more money. I.E. TMNT, Planet of the Apes, etc. If either of those were not already established and were released as stand-alone movies they’d be laughed out of theaters.

  • Lat

    Tom Cruise might have also drawn a certain crowd that might not have seen it otherwise. It is a pretty ridiculous premise on the surface but, “Hey, Tom Cruise is in it so YOLO.”

  • econniff

    AND we’re introduced to their future and future-future selves. That means we now know for *sure* they aren’t going to OD on the crack they always dig out of the dumpster out back! It’s a miracle!

  • Lat

    That was incredible. It’s true though. I would be ECSTATIC to see some complete shot-in-the-dark movie about whatever-the-fuck as long as it wasn’t a goddamn reboot/remake/remaster/rerelease. The prefix re- needs to be REmoved from the English language for awhile.

  • Lat

    I think it’s time for “Horse Ninja” to go into full production.

  • This might be a good time to talk about the 3d thing as well, I dropped an extra 40 baht (for 2 tickets) to see whats up with the technology (it’s been about 10 or 15 years since I’ve seen a movie in 3D) and the nicest thing I can say about it is that it doesn’t bother my eyes…as much. Fortunately it didn’t take much away from the film, but I’m swearing that shit off for another decade. Useless.

  • Kaingerc

    wow, the transformers review went almost twice as long as i thought it would(i thought they would introduce the movie and the the lady would come in and ask why they didn’t fix her fucking VCR player yet)

  • I’m SO looking forward to that movie!

  • MIKE AND JAY WERE RIGHT!!! EDGE OF TOMORROW WAS GREAT! It didn’t explain everything! It didn’t show everything! It had a character arc! And, I loved BILL PAXTON’S CHARACTER! LOL IF YOU CAN, GO SUPPORT THIS GEM!

    Although poorly marketed, it is basically a movie based on the BLIZZARD 1990’s STARCRAFT VIDEO GAME!

  • NotRickBerman

    It’s gonna be great.

  • diehounderdoggen

    Ho ho ho! Hi little lumpkins!

  • Guest

    I see…

  • RRB

    Excellent episode, lots of great silly moments and Mike and Jay seem really happy to be doing HITB…fucking hacks!

  • trololololololol

    Why would they want to watch that garbage?

  • trololololololol

    Did Bill Paxton play a space marine? What a hack fraud

  • Kenlin Bros

    Kinda like every episode of the Walking Dead that’s not the first one.

  • No No…This time he’s a Master Chief Sargent. He’s great! His reaction shots made me laughed many times.

  • bruce wayne

    I call bullshit. Don’t get me wrong, I love that they’re doing more of the silly fun character pieces at the end of the review. But WTF! That was their T4 review?

  • Mr.Fister

    I guess I’m a retard all the action films I like other people despise

  • No

    I thought I had edge of tomorrow figured from the start, I thought the whole thing was going to be a virtual reality training thingybob.
    Just me?

  • I think they don’t like repeating themselves. Transformers 4 = same old, same old.

  • No. At first, I thought was training as well.

  • JackgarPrime

    That is true. My stepmother went with us to see the movie (which had already included my dad) and she doesn’t really like sci-fi action movies. So I figured she was there because of him.

    Also saw a lot of old people there. Probably the same reason.

  • luck702

    SPOILER

    Couldn’t agree with you more. Just because polar bears survived doesn’t mean shit for the two remaining members of the human race. That entire movie made me rage from the concept alone. Acting, direction, and set design was fine. The plot sounds like a 13 year old came up with it.

  • Akka Fakka

    PTA is probably the most overrated director working today. Long, pointless drudges through terrible character arcs with the occasional cringeworthy singing-to-the-camera scene.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    RotBDotDSotMofPofAaPP8 was great, I agree.

    I hope they talk about some of the inherently silly parts, though.

  • bassbait

    watch the Transformers 3 review. Then just replace certain keywords that only apply to T3 with keywords that only apply to T4, and you have exactly the review they would have done.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That trolley explosion had my friends and I in stitches. Koba seemed so glad to see his fellow ape up on that trolley only to see him blown the fuck up.

    Also, when the crowd was in uproar and kept yelling at Commissioner Gordon, it felt like a Monty Python sketch. They’d be silenced, Gordon would say something, then one person would shout someone and everyone would agree and the uproar would begin again. Funny as hell.

    RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE!

  • bassbait

    The ending sucked. I hope they make a part 9.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    This is the first time I’m seeing what they wrote below the video.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Well played.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    No, Rich.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash
  • omitted

    Your dad was in Edge of Tomorrow?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Don’t get too attached. Days of Future Future Jessi will kill her.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Is pressing ‘play’ a tradition? It’s so popular I think everyone that watches these videos does it.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    LOL

  • bassbait

    Kubrick’s the only guy who could out-perform someone like Jack Nicholson from behind the camera. I think Kubrick might actually have been the second coming of Jesus but that’d be underestimating his power.

  • omitted

    But is she a member of the Sisterhood of Travelling Future Pants?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Lest We Pre-Forget

  • omitted

    I bet Mike and Jay are landing on new clients every night

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That’s my favourite ACDC song.

  • omitted

    Bitching about Care Boars is almost as popular

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Mister Smeeth and you were playing the same game.

    Then you made a bad move and lost.

    Your consolation prize is the Prometheus DVD set.

    http://youtu.be/avXZVgzLP68?t=20s

  • bassbait

    obligatory poetry quote.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    The people in the Twin Towers definitely weren’t “Stayin’ Alive”.

    Too soon?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You boil the water.

    Then you pour the pack-

  • bassbait

    I’ll take 8

  • bassbait

    Horse Ninja will save the day.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Are you telling me you could resist Emily Blunt?

  • bassbait

    Yes.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That’s because your heart is two sizes too small.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Those apostrophes…

  • bassbait

    Some guy somewhere said don’t be a jerk. The rest of the book took some liberties. Took them away I should say.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Hehe… ‘picklebucket’. I like your Disqus handle.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    It’s gonna be great.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Make sure to murder the rest of him as well.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Transformers: Age of Excretion was great, bro. What do you know?

    http://i.minus.com/i4TKnJ12n3983.gif

  • vspngs

    Dear MedRattelLidia, could you please stop with careboars? It’s harming my genitals.

  • omitted

    Not cool man, showing the guys when they’re on their period

  • JackgarPrime

    FFFFFFFF that sentence wasn’t quite right.

  • Jason Ross

    Yeah, they only menstruate once every 15 months, you should put up a spoiler alert.

  • Jason Ross

    You spelled MadScratchLabia wrong.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Boner too erect for too long?

  • Dradeeus

    Oh, hell no. She’s totally gorgeous. XD

  • I remember getting a bittle of a har har at the unruliness of the crowd. But the apes exploding I remember feeling the scene succeeded in its drama…even the “two guns one horse” didn’t take me out. I bought the whole film hook line and sinker.

  • I understand that after the credit scroll there’s a a bit of audio that might change what you might think about a certain characters presumed “ending”. I didn’t stick around to hear it though.

  • TexasRaider

    Is it just me, or was Mike a complete tool in this? He couldn’t keep still, treated Jay like a dog and was about twice as obnoxious as normal. This review was a bit, I dunno….”off” compared to previous ones. Not because of the set or the ending, but in some sense of presence. Can’t say for sure, but Mike looked either drunk or high. Weird.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Well, I should note that even though I laugh at something in the film that was meant to be serious doesn’t mean I was taken out of the film. I may just have an odd sense of humour and it was partially because of the friends I was with.

  • Fair enough.

  • fred

    Oh, I always assumed it was low blood sugar.

  • stacks

    Edge of Tomorrow’s intro seemed a bit harsh, Tom Cruise is a really solid action star and was pretty great in the film. Totally bought him early on as the military’s poster boy too, wouldn’t you want someone who looks like “action man” to sell the war to the public?

  • bb-15

    I saw Edge of Tomorrow today and I agree with Mike’s review.
    It was a solid action, sci-fi film.

    Also, the RLM gang did a fun sci-fi ending to this episode.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    NIGI!

    This is your 1,000th comment on RLM!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Wait, Ronald Reagan died?

    No wonder I did do poorly on that history test.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “ahh whatever.”

    That was George’s personal motto during the making of the prequels.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash
  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “Guys, he worked in the title.”

  • atheistconservative

    I just wanted to leave a note about how cool it is that RLM are recognizing “Edge of Tomorrow” as a good movie.

    Tom Cruise was good as the lead. Yeah the part might have been played better by somebody with better comic timing, but he did a solid job. And once you know how involved he was with making this movie work you gain some respect for the guy. I know he’s weird and all but he gets some pretty good movies made in a system that just churns out crap.

    And the movie itself did a great job of building a well-contained universe. Skinny female model as a hero? Sure, she went through it a billion times until she got it right. Watching Cruise’s character grow from coward to hero was fun and never too unbelievable. And while I agree that the romance felt tacked on (this movie would have been a classic with two male leads and no romantic subplot) … you kind of have to agree that it helped give the main character motivation. Yes, the side bit about visiting London and seeing it destroyed helped motivate him. But giving him personal motivation definitely helped push the story forward. It’s forgivable.

    I like the movie for the same reason I like “Armored”. It’s not great, award-winning entertainment, but it’s a good story that makes sense inside its own universe. You don’t get that a lot these days. Plus, a believable happy ending (surely at least two of those time-dealy bad guys died in that explosion, right?)

  • Like Icare

    He was killed by that asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs.

  • flint

    Holy shit it’s like you haven’t even seen another episode of Half in the Bag besides this one.

  • ogawaburukku

    I just finished the Japanese original All You Need Is Kill (well, the manga based on the novel, which seems to be the same story with not many differences… I hear…) and Tom Cruise seems like such an odd choice for the Keiji character, who originally was a younger rookie who died on his first time going against the aliens only to meet Rita (is she still in the movie?) and then start the loop. Since he repeats the day over and over when everyone else does not, his squadron wonders why one day he is suddenly a total badass. It seems odd that a 50+ year-old actor would play that role, and the main reason I had no interest in the Hollywood version. It’s nice to hear the movie is actually pretty good… I hope it has a better ending, though.

    Is it weird that I kinda have the hots for future-future Jay?

  • SeekerLancer

    Tom Cruise really killed Edge of Tomorrow. It’s a movie I would’ve really liked to see but I avoided it in theaters because it was Tom Cruise. I don’t think I was the only one.

  • Meester Smeeth

    I see. Thank you for explaining it to me.

  • Meester Smeeth

    Her name? Love Interest. Love Interest is here. She’s on the case. And she loves horse dicks.

  • Meester Smeeth

    Mine’s I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing, from that movie Deep Impact.

  • Charon

    I have always enjoyed Jay and Mike’s ability to be subjective, yet eschew the Hollywood rumor mill.

  • Quonk

    Is “overexaggerated” an actual word?

  • MikeFromCanmore

    tom cruise was more tolerable in that movie for me then most other films i saw him in.

  • MikeFromCanmore

    I saw this in the theaters earlier this month but i didn’t like the ending to the movie. it’s been done before too many times and felt like a cop out ending then giving us something better or something that explains something that happens after what happens in the end, I thought the Movie was Mediocre. along that i also felt that Tom Cruise was more tolerable to watch in the movie then say… Mission Impossible.

  • MikeFromCanmore

    My money is on Space Cop

  • Akka Fakka

    Loved Edge of Tomorrow. All you people who refused to see it b/c of Tom Cruise or who think it’s too ‘formulaic’ or whatever … you’re what’s killing movies.

    You also have to wonder when the only decent film to hit theaters in the past … what, year? is based on a story from Japan. America sucks at making stories now. We’re either making crap for the ‘international market’ or disappearing up our own asses about racism and gay people.

  • Charon

    Chevy Chase is thrilled.

  • *Insert smug anime face here

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Sci-fi? Fun?

    Hollywood told me that’s not possible, though.

  • bassbait

    Thank you for having an Xavier: Renegade Angel picture. Everyone must see that show it’s genius.

  • Joe Syxpac

    As long as Scarlett Johansson fucks a horse, I’m there.

  • Joe Syxpac

    And really, how much can you say about Michael Bay masturbating on screen for three hours? Eventually all you have to say is “He jerked off again. The end.”

  • Joe Syxpac

    I’m starting to worry about Mike’s drinking problem.

  • Joe Syxpac

    No, the proper word is hyperexaggerated.

  • Joe Syxpac

    It would be weird if you didn’t have the hots for him.

  • Iloveanime420

    omg i wish hollywood would make anime movies

  • omitted

    Tru-dat!

  • omitted

    Jay can ass-ass-inate me anytime he wants, no matter how many futures there are before his name

  • LelouchtheFilial

    How about the anime faces of two guys arm-wrestling while taking a dump?

  • LelouchtheFilial

    “Disappearing up our own asses about racism and gay people.”
    Disappearing up asses is what “Brokeback Mountain” was about.
    Hey-oooooooooo.
    Seriously, though, I second Hale’s “Insert smug anime face here” comment, motherfakka.

  • Palpatine

    Optimus Prime is great in Transformers 4, it’s like fork in the brain, fork in the brain, fork in the brain, stop thinking brain, you’re going to hurt yourself.

  • Clive Seddon

    THAN. THAN!

  • Clive Seddon

    THAN!

  • omitted

    According to IMDB Tilda Swinton is filming a movie called Trainwreck

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Constipation is one of the main reasons Goku reached Super Saiyan.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I was expecting @Otto: Autopilot to make that Airplane reference.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    There’s a reason they call them “money shots”.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Is Jay Pac-Man?

  • Alex Lee

    Umm, Days of Future Past also came out. Edge of Tomorrow isn’t “the only decent film” to come out this year.

  • You sound like a crazy person.

  • Joe Syxpac

    He was too busy getting blown…

    …up by Julie Hagerty.

  • Easton Houle

    I’m going to assume that you didn’t see it. It’s a surprising movie.

  • Easton Houle

    But I guess the reason why they would not have watched it was because they pre-judged it based on the trailer, which makes it look like nothing other than a self-congratulatory religious movie and cash-grab, which it is neither.

  • Easton Houle

    I’m going to assume that you didn’t see the movie. But if I can give a reason as to why they might have not watched it, that would be because they pre-judged the movie based on the trailer, which gives the impression of it being a self-congratulatory religious movie and Hollywood cash-grab, which it is neither.

  • Easton Houle

    Rather, it’s a beautiful show with great acting, plot twists, and new life breathed into a legend-gone-stale, pulling in various religious, political, and moral concepts in a critical manner. This is creative mythology on film.

  • Also it seems pertinent to add that the killing of cinema seems to be quite a bit to be laying at what is certainly a small, if not entirely conceived portion of the populace…

  • Paul Schumann

    ok but I’m not an x-man fan so I didn’t flock to the theater to see it. Edge of Tomorrow is generic enough a mech-action-flick to interest me.

  • Paul Schumann

    I don’t anime, but yes you are right.

  • Paul Schumann

    Emily Blunt dude…. really?

  • TexasRaider

    Nope, seen every one. He just seemed more erascible than usual.

  • Paul Schumann

    you dropped your fedora back there

  • Crikey Mate Down Under Aussie

    Calm down

  • Paul Schumann

    oh noes saving private ryan was the worst

  • Junkie

    U-uh I don’t think he meant she’s a bimbo for being above average in looks. I think he means she is a bimbo because she physically inserted Brett Ratner’s talentless penis into her mouth and bobbed her head up and down until climax all for the purpose of landing a movie role.

    I don’t think Arnie was Terminating any sperm cells through his rectal cavity back in the day.

  • proghead777

    Let me give all of you people who are as scared of dying as I and every other living creature that has ever existed in the history of the entire universe, a little hint: anything that can be described as “paranormal” or “supernatural” is fucking fake as Dolly Parton’s tits. All of us would love to believe that after your heart stops beating and your body starts rotting that your consciousness or you essence or some other bullshit continues on. It doesn’t Your current life, your thoughts, your actions, your effect on the world around you RIGHT NOW, is all there fucking is. So you better make a good impression now. Because if you don’t, you’ll either be remembered as a great person, an asshole that deserved to die a horrible death, OR, you won’t be remembered at all. Beyond that, you’re just dust in the wind… that will cause some annoying allergies to people that have never heard of you, nor care to.

  • The anger and the vitriol that many of the so called “neo-atheists” display (personally I prefer the term anti-theists) display is potentially every bit as dangerous and hurtful as the words of the most a those of the most fundamentalist right wing goose stepping Christian. Now its respectable that with your (in realitive terms of course) limited access to all the data

    you’ve concluded a fully functioning understanding for how life the universe and everything works…and we’re all proud of you and eager to your thoughts and whatever other brilliance you dane to honor us with. Though if you wouldn’t mind chilling the fuck out first. Okay thanks.

  • proghead777

    “you’ve concluded a fully functioning understanding for how life the universe and everything works”

    I’ve done no such thing. If you have data that supports the existence of a magical realm where the consciousnesses of dead humans persists in eternal bliss, I would be delighted to review it and I would consider it accordingly. But since you have no such data, I will continue accepting the most likely paradigm: when you’re dead, you’re dead. Your flesh rots into the earth and your mind ceases to exist. I don’t like it. I’m not SUPPOSED to like it. But I’ve not been shown a single shred of evidence to the contrary.

  • Sincerest apologies…didn’t mean to dissuade you from browbeating…please continue.

  • proghead777

    Is it weird that mid-future Jay’s somewhat big guns made me get a stiffy? I don’t care. PASS THE LOTION AND REPLAY THAT SHIT ONE MORE TIME! Ohhhh. Yessss,,,,

  • Like Icare

    I think you misunderstood what a bimbo means.
    You’re describing a whore.

    Which is a different set of talents altogether.

  • proghead777

    Browbeating?! What?!! Don’t give up without a fight. Tell me why I’m wrong.

  • You’re not wrong, you’re just an asshole.

  • Junkie

    I understand that. I was simply describing what the above poster was criticizing her for, not the fact that she was attractive and stupid.

  • Like Icare

    So you’re calling the poster above a sexually frustrated loser?

    Cause apparently, the issue is NOT that she’s “attractive and stupid” NOR is the issue in implied prostitution cause it’s NOT “a knock against Brett Ratner” who in such a relationship would be using his position of influence to pay for sexual favors, making such a transaction clearly morally OK according to the poster.

    And we know that it can’t be the issue that she is female in such a transaction cause that would make the poster a misogynist asshole…

    Which only leaves us with the definition of a “bitch”.
    I.e. A slut/whore will screw anyone. A bitch will screw anyone but you.

    Which would make the original poster a sad, sad, sexually frustrated loser.

  • Junkie

    You’ve got some issues, dude. I’ve never seen a human being genuinely defend Olivia Munn before.

  • Real Quantum

    Oh my God, Dolly Parton has fake tits????

  • Ogrot

    Technically. She always had large natural breast, but after losing a bunch of weight in the eighties she had them lifted. Really they were alterations to keep them youthful as opposed turning yourself from an A cup to a C.

  • Real Quantum

    Crap, I’ve been masturbating to plastic.

  • Real Quantum

    If that excites you, “Parkin’ in Tarkin” will give you a raging boner.

  • phillipkslick

    When it comes to horror movies it’s always been 1% at best based on a true story. In real life a gust of wind from a left open window knocks down a vase the superstitious family gets spooked and calls a charlatan,,,I mean paranormal investigator,. Then in the movie based on that real life event a demonic force possesses their 12 year old daughter and she uses Satan powers to rag doll Daddy across the room.

  • Patrick

    That was my takeaway.

  • Patrick

    Yea, I didn’t see it because it looked no different than Oblivion or Jack Reacher; just a vehicle for Tom Cruise to continue playing the same action hero over and over again, despite being in his 50s. I find it curious that not only is he no longer a draw for audiences, but his presence is actually turning people away from the theaters.

  • Patrick

    His character was interesting, but his performance was no different than any other movie he’s done.

  • Like Icare

    You should then probably get out more, I guess…

    Personally, I have nothing against her nor am I a fan.
    In fact, let me check it… yup, I’ve only seen her in “The Newsroom”, and… I really don’t have any opinion on her.
    Her performance was OK I guess.
    She is attractive and young, but so are many other actresses.
    Most actually.
    You can’t yet buy brains, and you must invest a lot into skills, but looks are plentiful and easy to fix up and upgrade.

    My issue is with ad hominems and verbal attacks as if those are somehow arguments for misogyny. Which is a fallacy of its own.

  • maggit

    We’ve all been there.

  • Otto Torrens

    Edge Of Tomorrow was pretty bad, not sure what movie you guys saw, or if you were tainted by the Deliver Us From Evil somehow 😐

  • Real Quantum

    Yup, I’m highly trained in finding worlds like “titties” immediatly in walls of text.

    Too much porn, I guess.
    But hey, it saves time.

  • Real Quantum

    Only too many times.

  • NotRickBerman

    I don’t even know what that means.

  • Leslie48 .

    Talking about movie nobody cares about, movie nobody saw, movie nobody likes.

    Yup.

    *watches five minutes *

    I buy it, nothing worth caring about vis-a-vis ‘Deliver us from evil’. Wonder what they have to say about the other two movies, genuinely curious here.

    *watches ten minutes*

    Yep, any minute now they’ll finish slagging this movie nobody, including me, gives two shits about. Any minute now they’ll start talking about the movies actually worth talking about. e-Yup, any minute now.

    *watches to half-way point in the video*

    Fuck Me! They’re Still Talking About This Useless Shitstain of a movie! Fuck! Are they going to just keep doing that? Are we gonna get a two-minute, “Oh yeah, Edge of Tommorrow and Transformers 4 were both a thing, seeya next time. Oh wait, we still have to finish that pointless sketch about being horrible pretend-repairmen.” Fuck!

    *sobbing and weeping.*

    Why, why couldn’t this have been more like the Pacific Rim video? *boo-hoo-hoo* ..why?

    *watches for one minute more.*

    “So, would you recommend this movie?”

    OHTHANKYOUGOD!!

  • omitted

    I certainly hope that movie didn’t go anywhere near Jay’s taint

  • When The FX ‘Fargo’ episodes, and the Fargo movie begin they say something like This is a true story…but it isn’t. I saw the show before the movie and I kind of suckered into ‘the true story’, even texted my friend and told him about this awesome true story show called Fargo. I Should have googled the facts before spreading lies…Anyway, it’s an awesome fucking show.

  • sonicjrjr14 .

    You retarded fucking people are what’s killing movies right now.

    “I refused to watch a really good movie because an actor I don’t like is in it.”
    FUCK OFF!

  • Mike Jakermen

    I don’t know which one had the worse time paradox. X-Men Days of Future Past, Edge of Tomorrow or the Ending to this video.

  • well yeah 1% because, wind on doors but also because life doesnt actually introduce a conflict and build to a climax that resolves itself withing 2 hours….

  • Alex Lee

    Super Saiyan is when…oh. You’re doing, like, a thing.

  • I remember seeing oblivion and just not digging it. But if I had to put my finger on anything I’d say my distaste for that movie in paticular is what stopped me from seeing edge…not tom cuise who im not a fan of but who as Jay has said on multiple occasions (and i agree with) does nottypically elevate the material. sure ive enjoyed several of his movies and more than one of his ventures into scifi…but with oblivian fresh in my mind I steered clear of edge…now i know that my ignorance has angered a lot of people around the world, and certainly on this board…but i suppose they can take some solace in that i have learned my lesson. which is to take another look before dismissing a movie on preconceived notions.

  • XD

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Look at that freshly-painted green wall! Mesmerizing.

  • Stupid Wizard

    Stop asking completely logical questions

  • Stupid Wizard

    The part when Koba ripped off Caesar arms and they turned into tentacles made me want to vomit. How the fuck did that get a G Rating?

  • Kids need to see these things…part of growing up you know?

  • Stupid Wizard

    Kids have until they’re 8 to be having sex. Leave them with those precious years of innocence

  • phillipkslick

    I’ve actually had that happen before. Though at the same time, in these movies more time passes than 2 hours, sometimes years pass. Though, I and Mike were speaking of the supernatural aspect to the films. No reason to go off topic to be snarky, that doesn’t make you seem smarter.

  • lonelypanda

    You guys should do two edits, one non-spoiler, one spoiler

  • Horrific deplorable violence is ok as long as nobody says any naughty words…

  • Palpatine

    Well since Mike is so intrested in paranormal ghost stuff, can he please care to explain this old photo I just so happened to find.

  • Muscle-Horse

    I think that was more down to the Coen’s sense of humour, before all these cynical marketing tactics. Fargo isn’t even remotely based on anything.

  • forkinthebrain

    My doctor tells me i have an RLM addiction, he told me that removing the fork in my brain would cure it.

    I stuck a fork in his brain

  • That was my understanding…seems supported by what I know about them as well…though I wouldnt swear to it.

  • You know what just occurred to me? You guys made a great big fucking mess after Rich put all that hard work into sweeping that room…you guys are bastards. I’m running away from home and never coming back!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Grats on your 1,000th 🙂 Sorry I didn’t notice it until now.

  • Hey look! It’s Mr. Plinkett center left! hard to tell cus this was back when he was in his 40’s but its him!

  • Palpatine

    Which one, the guy with the mustache and glasses, or the weird looking one standing to the right of the guy smoking that thing?

  • the guy right there! *points* are you blind?

  • Palpatine

    You’re right. Wow, Plinkett sure was slim in his younger days.

  • UnderBlackFlags
  • Akka Fakka

    Yeah I’m in the same boat as Paul, except I generically hate superhero movies. There’s just been too many of them, they’re all the exact same story, and I also think it has contributed to our general stupidity. Constantly presenting everything as ‘good’ and ‘evil’, black and white, is pretty dumb.

  • SeekerLancer

    Oh come on, I’ve been burned enough times by big budget sci-fi in the past few years. I’ll likely see the movie now but I think I had more than enough reason to be leery of this film.

  • SeekerLancer

    The fact that Tom Cruise himself pushed for more comic relief at least shows he understood some of the reasons why Oblivion failed. I’m willing to give this one a shot.

  • SeekerLancer

    That was the problem, along with the fact that the film looked a lot like Elysium which was another disappointment for me.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    I prefer future-future Jay.
    Not sure about future-future-future Jay though. He might be a bit over the hill for me.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    It’s funny how strongly I disagree with someone of the same opinion as me.

  • mk741

    Just saw Edge O’ Tomcruise (largely via the hack review above). Haven’t been that entertained by a big Hollywood flick like that since Pacific Rim.

    Leave your Cruise trepidation aside and give it a chance. It’s quite funny, well-directed/ acted, and a unique experience overall.

  • flint

    DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!1111

  • “mail to the chief”
    “the job interview and you”
    and a third i cant quite make out…a hint about the next botw?

  • NotRickBerman

    Why can’t it be both?

  • Cicero

    Not to mention, Tom Cruise is actually a part of why it’s good. For most of the film he’s either playing a complete coward or a crazy person or dying constantly in amusing ways. Even if you’ve got some childish “thing” about Tom Cruise, you’ve got to see the entertainment factor in this sort of role.

  • Zellie

    My only issue with this is Brandon Teena, being a trans-male is a boy and you guys called him female.

  • Mostly Shallow

    I don’t know who that actress was, but in addition to an excellent performance I must comment that I haven’t seen such smoldering sensuality since Susan Sarandon in Bull Durham.

  • Mr.Fister

    there is nothing like “too many times” on that issue

  • arjumand

    I loved Edge of Tomorrow too (and I didn’t mind Oblivion, at first, until the protagonist just became TOM CRUISE) – in this movie, he was just lowercase tom cruise. Enough tc to not be obnoxiously unbearable.
    I’m so annoyed that it wasn’t successful – go figure, movies I like are flops, while movies with identical CGIs bashing each other for 2 hours and a terrible performance by Mark “Whaat? No, Ma’am!” Wahlberg are a huge success.

    Edge of Tomorrow was just the kind of intelligent sci-fi movie I like – a good premise (aliens wanna fuck shit up), time loops, actual characters who talk and behave like human beings, etc. Even the love story, though not necessary, really, wasn’t obnoxious and stupid, unlike in Oblivion.

    I want to be the lady up top and use mind altering powers to stop people watching Transformers and go watch Edge of Tomorrow instead. I’d ramble on more about the movie but I don’t wanna spoil. WATCH IT.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    A running joke I have is where when I or someone else asks about a movie, saying actors names and certain scenes yet forgets the movie title, I’ll reply with “Armageddon”. I’ll say it with enthusiasm and confidence, as if I’m well versed in movie title knowledge and film trivia in general. I think most people just look at me oddly and are confused, but I get a real kick out of it. The few people who know it’s a running joke enjoy it as well, especially when it’s unexpected and I hadn’t done it in months/years.

    “What was that film with Jesse Eisenberg and Andrew Garfield? They’re both going to be in superhero films now, with Jesse plying Luthor and Garfield playing Spidey. Kinda neat, but I guess a lot of people are in superhero films these days. Anyway, the film was about them founding Facebook. It was directed by David Fincher. Remember?”
    “Yeah! I really enjoyed the film. Didn’t that come out a few years ago? The title was connected with Facebook and the internet in a way.”
    “Oh, I remember! It was Armageddon!”
    *Everybody groans.*
    *I anti-groan.*

    Why the hell am I explaining all of this?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    The benefit of going through your replies weeks after they’ve accumulated is finding gems like this. 😛

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    The reference doesn’t work if I say, “You definitely noticed Future Jay’s muscles”.

    But yes, we all noticed. My heart fluttered.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Marge “It took the children 40 minutes to locate Canada on the map.”
    Homer “Marge, anyone could miss Canada. All tucked away down there.”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Your tea leaves were correct, Nostradamus!

  • bluehawk222

    Tom Cruise was the main problem with EoT. He acted well enough in it where it didn’t bring the movie down but it would have been better with a fresh face. But these days Hollywood is all about recognition so they can sell a movie and make the money. It’s like why even bother having trailers when it seems Hollywood thinks people only care about name recognition. See this movie because one of the producers was a producer on one of those famous summer blockbusters you saw. And yeah I admit there are directors and actors and writers whose movies I will see because of them but those people end up being more lower budget people that do independent stuff or limited releases anyhow so it’s different from the blockbuster Hollywood mentality I’m referencing.

  • Charon

    Pay Jac-Man? Is that Hugh Jackman’s brother?

  • Greg G Gould

    Best last-few-minutes of Half in the Bag, ever.

  • Kamil El Azzi

    Try playing the last scene in reverse- the scene where they trash the room

  • Kamil El Azzi

    Best transformers discussion

  • HNSZ

    I’ve never had a problem with Tom Cruise. I don’t even agree that he is Tom Cruise in every movie. When he is being Tom Cruise it doesn’t bother me.

    To have to say I’m becoming quite blasé with opinions about Tom Cruise.He’s the easiest target in the world. I.e. I’m sick of this shit, stop talking about it.

    http://i.gyazo.com/b4e5ca5e2ebd4c576df7a75e33ba4520.gif

  • is it just me or does he kinda look like Kurgan from highlander in that picture?

  • Like Icare

    Maaaaaybe a bit, but mostly because of those dark circles around the eyes.

  • Malevolence

    you all are just jelly of that insane Scientologist. He’s a great action actor, does better acting than Jason Statham, Chris Pines or Keanu Reeves in similar Science Fiction Action pics… you guys are being too harsh

  • Meester Smeeth

    I have no idea but, please, go on. It’s absolutely riveting.

  • leeory jenkins

    “inspired by” and “based on” are not the same thing.
    Anything with “inspired by” is guaranteed to be almost completely fictitious.

    Star Trek The Motion Picture is “Based on” Star Trek.
    Galaxy Quest is “inspired by” Star Trek.

  • Meester Smeeth

    You should go show that to Rob Ager. I believe he’s been looking for that photo.

  • Alex Lee

    I have no idea who Jason Statham is. I know that Chris Pine is…fine and Keanu Reeves is a robot though.

  • Palpatine

    Rob’s videos on The Shining are great. The Shining is also my favorite movie ever.

  • Meester Smeeth

    Yeah, his videos are interesting. I really liked his interpretation of 2001: A Space Odyssey.

  • Dane Corle

    How did future-future Mike and Jay exist to to assassinate future Mike and Jay if future Mike and Jaw were never alive to become future-future Mike and Jay on account of being assassinated by future-future Mike and Jay?

  • Guest

    Their refusal to do a proper review on TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION, aka the best movie of 2014 so far, speaks volumes about their movie reviewing skills. Oops, I meant to say BULLSHIT instead of skills. They wanna follow the crowd of Bay-haters, when in truth, I know, deep down, they LOVED THIS MOVIE. I can see it in Mike’s face when he says “Oh God no,” and Jay has to hide his face so to not show his exuberance of even uttering the words “Transformers: Age of Extinction.”

    Edge of Tomorrow was good? That movie sucked balls, and creepy, scientoldiot Tom Cruise is the shit in the toilet bowl for me. I ask that you reissue this review of TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION, and give us what we want.

  • I’m not sure I agree with you a hundred percent on your police work, there, Lou.

  • Sébastien St-Pierre Robert

    I loved that lady Deborah Clifton at the end. Real prowess.

  • Joe Syxpac

    I think he’s being sarcastic.

    Cuz nobody with Mr. Bay’s cock that far down their throat could say that much without gagging.

  • cass

    The foley on that touch-tone telephone… Nailed it. 😀

  • InPrivate

    Transformers: Age of Extinction has grossed over a billion dollars at the worldwide box office.

    … One hundred more sequels confirmed. *sigh*

  • nat

    mmmm future jay. goddamn.

  • Yezzir!

    I love the lengthy insight you gave to Transformers 4. Probably more insight than Michael Bay used to create all 4 films together.

  • pete smith

    Thing that bugs me whit these catholic exorcism “based on real story” claims is that in reality there was seriously mentally ill person in family and instead of calling a doctor, they called a priest instead. More disturbing is that apparently there are lot of people going to see these shitty movies like “holy shit! cant believe shit like this actually happens!!” Sure you can make great movie about anything, but there recent attempts have just purely sucked.

  • jer

    Doug Liman directed THE BOURNE IDENTITY, so there’s that…

  • Stephen Byers

    Look, we don’t need to talk about time travel, because if we start talking about it then we will be here all day talking about it making diagrams with straws.

  • Mr.Fister

    wait a moment…if they killed their future’s past counterparts than why do they exist…no I’m not buying this…

  • flint

    DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

  • Duckler

    Okay Mike, you should seriously stop getting hairier. Don’t make us organize an intervention.

  • Kyle

    You can’t mix cops and ghosts? What about Cop Dog?

  • Jared Ouimette

    I have. The beginning still doesn’t make sense.

  • Fredrik Persson

    edge of tomorrow. zero consistency.
    lets give tom cruise something from my safe.
    lets send guards on tom cruise after he leaves the building so he can get into an accident otherwise we cant continue with the plot.

  • regularman

    Thank you for existing and making this comment.

  • Alex

    Edge of tomorrow is exactly the same as the manga All you need is Kill. I’m guessing thats not a coincident.

  • WJF

    It’s an adaptation.

  • Has anyone read the manga? The ending is totally different and, even though the movie as a whole feels better to me, I prefer the manga ending.

  • Asmodeusz

    If I had to describe Jay as a movie critic, the first thing I would say would be “he hates shaky cam”.

  • Asmodeusz

    Only thing that can stop Transformers sequels is the death of Michael Bay.

  • David Anderson

    This one had one of their best skits.

  • I’m hard pressed to believe those two would actually do any real manual labor even after being “reeducated”.

  • Ross Carruthers

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYxfo57zSeg fun critique of time travel babble and paradoxes in the movie edge of tomorrow.

  • Jesse Trask

    I’m guessing Rich Evans was on vacation for this one.

  • Jesse Trask

    because clones.

  • Luke

    WTF made that movie “pretty bad”? Because it had Tom Cruise in it?

  • Luke

    A lot of people stupidly avoided seeing Edge of Tomorrow in theaters. It was not a huge hit like it deserved to be. And I think a lot of it has to do with Tom Cruise. It’s sad. The man has made more classics in the last 30 years than anyone outside of Tom Hanks and Mel Gibson. Risky Business, Top Gun, Color of Money, Rain Man, Days of Thunder (whether you think some of these are bad or good, they’re still classics), The Firm, A Few Good Men, Interview With A Vampire, Jerry Maguire, Mission Impossible, etc, etc.

  • Luke

    WTF was so bad about Oblivion? Yes, it was a Tom Cruise vehicle but I found it to be very smart and entertaining

  • Luke

    So, you don’t like a serious character acting seriously about serious situations??

  • Boring.

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