Half in the Bag: Creed and Victor Frankenstein

November 28, 20152,044 Comments

Mike and Jay finally reach the top of Mt. Everest to fix Mr. Plinkett’s VCR or whatever. Unfortunately, Mr. Plinkett is nowhere to be found so the guys are forced to talk about movies. It’s Creed and Victor Frankenstein!


Filed in: Half in the Bag

  • FiachSidhe

    Best CGI snow effects I’ve ever seen.

  • tOmy`

    I already forgot what we want, you frauds, so this will do.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “The new Penis movie”

  • FiachSidhe

    I’m anxiously waiting for Creed..with arms wide open.

  • tOmy`

    The Martian and Sicario mentions seem like a direct stab at this comment section.

  • Marvin Falz

    Do you think they’re directed at this comment section in general or at someone specific?

  • tOmy`

    At me.

    Because I haven’t see them yet.

  • Marvin Falz

    Me neither. We’re unworthy of RLM.

  • tOmy`

    Oh, look, it’s Wood Harris, that guy who got famous because of that one episode of Justified.

    He was also in The Wire or something…

  • empathylouis

    I still say Rocky 4 is the best Rocky film! It shows how good old fashioned American ingenuity and robot ownership can stop the Cold War and steroid abuse.

  • ryanmcswain

    Schroeder is the pianist.

  • Strong_Bow

    Boo-ya!

  • Evertale

    If Mr. Plinkett turns out to be the abominable white-candy-floss-man at the end of the episode, I will bake… probably a cake… and sacrifice it at the local bar in honour of Red Letter Media!

  • TheManHole

    That moment when you go to watch old RLM content and find out they just posted a new video.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I saw Sicario but I didn’t see The Martian because it looked dull.

  • What manner of animal died to make Mike’s fleece?

  • Like Icare

    Excellent!
    Quick… Gotta get me some Jasmine scented green tea… I mean… beer… manly beer… yeah… that’s it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Damn it! I was watching Jessica Jones while this popped up!

  • Palpatine

    New content, yay!

  • tOmy`

    Rocky Schlocky, Never Back Down is where it’s at.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8aGqjNM0k4

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *Penis

  • tOmy`

    Oh hellz yea, music reference joke!

    10/10 with my arms wide open.

  • Liam O’Donnell

    I was an extra in that first fight, and it was MOSTLY one shot, with only one quick cut. they did it like 10 times and it ruled

  • tOmy`

    Are you the little kid?

  • Holy prostate orgasm, Batman!

  • tOmy`

    Crap, I didn’t see you make that joke.

    I would edit my post but that would mean going through their songs and finding another line. And I don’t feel like doing it.

  • Liam O’Donnell

    I WISH, that would be a FEATURED extra

  • David

    Mike must be a millennial (or a commie) if he never watched Rocky IV.

  • Like Icare

    Security penis? Like… Paul Blarp?

  • Robert Andersson

    It’s made from mold harvested underneath all the seats at Lambeau during the offseason. 100% vegan.

  • Bart Crowe

    Where is The Plinkett?

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    #JustHackFraudThings

  • Robert Andersson

    *cock

  • Palpatine

    I saw Fruitvale Station, and it was pretty damn good.

  • John Nelson

    I don’t care what Max Landis has to say he dresses and acts like a child. His appearance here was a desperate attempt to win back fans despite the fact that he is a whiny little boy about people not liking his movies.

  • castlemonster

    So did Jay change Mike’s diaper during the movie, too? Ya big baby!

  • tOmy`

    Wrong comment section, buddy.

    For ridiculous fashion police, head back to the previous video. You are also allowed to stay there.

  • Rob Peterson

    It’s about damned time we got another proper HITB. I haven’t watched it yet, I just wanted to say that and get it over with.

    I am now going to watch it and I’ll be back later to complain about it.

  • LukasH

    Puppies? Yeah they rock!

  • Palpatine

    Max who?

  • castlemonster

    What’s wrong with staring at the color gray? I can’t get enough of it!

  • Like Icare

    It’s OK. That joke could use a revival. A clearwater revival.

  • Like Icare

    It’s so dense… every shot has so much snow in it.

  • Like Icare
  • Palpatine

    How much money did Max Landis bribe Mike and Jay with for them to say positive things about Victor Frankenstein?

  • Andrew St Clair

    I really hope that you guys did a Wheel of the Worst with Landis.

  • LukasH

    Five money. Maybe more

  • bleurgh

    They didn’t say very many positive things.

  • Palpatine

    So about $10 each then.

  • Palpatine

    Harry Potter has Professor Snape’s hair in Victor Frankenstein.

  • tOmy`

    Are you stoked for the new HP movies?

  • Inkall

    No no, not positive things. Just making sure to point out again the the nasty studios always butcher scripts.

    Poor Maxy did the best he could doing a new and unique spin on an existing story but he couldn’t fight the system. Max must be so heartbroken that this existing ip movie will crush American Ultra at the box office.

  • bleurgh

    Pretty sure this movie is going to do worse than American Ultra.

  • Palpatine

    I don’t know, will I be ridiculed for being stoked? Because I know you hate HP.

  • I actually am a fan of the “Frankenstein” story. But they already did a good “Frankenstein” movie this year. It was called, “Ex Machina”.

  • Palpatine

    “Waaaah, the studio ruined my movie, waaaah!”
    – Max Landis

  • tOmy`

    It’s funny that you mention “hate”, because those movies really lead to suffering.

    BA-DUM-TSSS

    But nah, I like the books enough to be mildly interested in that cashgrab. So no, you shall not be ridiculed.

  • MikeFromCanmore

    it’s almost like Mike wanted to say bad things about the the Frankenstein movie but couldn’t, over all this was a good half in the bag ! can’t wait for the wheel of the Worst tho ! hoe one happens before the start of the new year.

  • Jesus Manatee Jenkins III

    Ex machina is not a robot porn? Fuck, gonna cancel my order

  • tOmy`

    Oh my god, another new year?

    Are they still making those?

  • LukasH

    Not as much as the virus! Tape awaaaaaaaaaay!

  • Percy Gryce

    When’s the next Best of the Worst?

  • Palpatine

    It’s funny because I bought and read the Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them book at Universal and thought to myself; “They’re turning this into a movie?”

  • Palpatine

    Tuesday.

  • Percy Gryce

    I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a BOTW today.

  • Inkall

    Just added that to what I said, it is indeed projected to do worse. Unless a heap of people go see it tomorrow.

    Seems Max just can’t win.

  • Percy Gryce

    By Jove, it has been three months since the last WOTW. The Max Landis episode very well could be a WOTW.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, same here, I have that book at home (even the NFL-on-broomsticks one).

    It’s a pretty odd decision, that is why I was interested. It’s like basing a new LOTR movies on an artwork book. Just… odd.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    But now he’s shaved his head and is Voldemort.

  • Like Icare
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Max you can tell doesn’t like the movie.

  • Palpatine

    He didn’t because wittle Maxy-Poo would’ve gotten upset again.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Mike, stop talking in third person.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hopefully JK Rowling isn’t like George Lucas but she could be.

  • Palpatine

    She isn’t.

  • Palpatine

    Because the big mean studio ruined it!

  • Like Icare

    No, that was a Bluebeard movie.

    The Frankenstein movie they already did this year was Chappie.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    This prequel could make seem like she is. This is also her first screenplay. Be scared, Frank fan of Potter.

  • Like Icare

    She’s far worse.

  • Palpatine

    I’m sorry being a fan of something you don’t care for.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well yeah. From that perspective he hates because it was his script.

  • tOmy`

    I wouldn’t be worried about her screenwriting skills, have you read those books?

    They make complete sense.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You shouldn’t be. I mean the screenplays for all the Harry Potter films have been mostly shit. Maybe she’s a great writer, I don’t know, but her first screenplay has me worried. Remember who wrote The Councilor? Cormac McCarthy.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ex Machina was Bluebeard.
    #GetYourFactsStraight

  • Palpatine

    Not in the slightest. But go ahead and make a ten paragraph long comment explaining why she sucks anyway.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    In romance maybe. But everything else no.

  • Like Icare

    That joke is still under copyright in the US territories until January 1st, 2025.

    Elsewhere it’s public domain.

  • castlemonster

    This is all going to end with Max Landis tearfully begging Mike and Jay for a job during a guest episode.

  • tOmy`

    Space Cop prequel confirmed?!

  • Palpatine

    I hate to sound like Max Landis, but it’s kind of Warner Bros. fault those movies had bad scripts.

  • tOmy`

    I was hoping you gonna say that.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    i got 5 minutes in and the shearer turned up. fuck this

  • castlemonster

    Just don’t let Max Landis near the script. He can fetch coffee.

  • Palpatine

    A sheep shearer?

  • LukasH

    Yup.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    True but also she isn’t the studio either. Her script can be amazing and the studio could ruin it in editing and directing. What if Eddie Redmayne does the Jupiter Ascending voice?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The guy from the Simpsons?

  • LukasH

    Actually, I heard he’s gonna play it as a transexual woman with ALS.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Wizard Phoenix
  • tOmy`

    A Retardered Baby?

  • Get your priorities in order, you sheep bastard!

  • Like Icare

    Don’t mind if I do!

    Lucas made his magic logical but mysterious and it took him decades to come back and start ruining his own creation for money and OCD by trying to make it a movie for babies. Babies who like political debates and murder. And by making it a story about a blue blood family and special people who are simply better than everyone else – which it was not in the beginning.

    Rowling made a book for babies with magic for babies and plot for babies… and then immediately jumped on the money train and started just writing any shit and handwaving it all with “magic”.
    And then she tried to make all that baby shit into some epic struggle battle faith destiny shit… except it’s a story for babies with baby logic and chocolate vomit frogs.
    And it is a story about “better people” from the start to the point of condoning racism.

    Say what you want about Lucas – but at least that fat motherfucker never went “and then Obi Wan traveled back in time…” only to forget that can happen nor did he suddenly forget that there are nigg… I mean “muggle” weapons out there.
    Nor did he suggest that Jedi can’t use them because… bullshit about being technologically retarded because magic.

    Lucas took a good thing and shat on it.
    Rowling wrapped baby shit in a diaper and sold it as chocolate frogs that taste like baby shit.

  • castlemonster

    This episode will seem prophetic when the Creed vs Frankenstein movie comes out.

  • Like Icare

    Her internal logic is all handwaving and “because”.
    It’s a classic example of a baby story becoming popular by being slightly not baby-like, and an author who struggles to be relevant because money.
    So, the author keeps expanding what little story there was by piling shit higher instead of by filling the gaps and expanding through story, not through volume.

    Lucas fucked up by trying to explain what doesn’t need explaining and doing it badly.
    Rowling fucked up by constant expansion and simply ignoring shit she wrote until she would write herself in a corner.
    At which point deus ex machinae and handwaves would fix everything.

    Also, Lucas is at least not suffering from delusion that he is writing literature.

    They are kinda on par with naming things.

  • Adzl33t

    I rather watch a review of Good Dinosaur, than this misplaced January movie schlock, but eh easy target, still asking for that animated movie review, Good Dinosaur was a pretty mediocre

    Creed is one of the better sequels of this year

  • Adzl33t

    Sicario was dull, The Martian was fun

  • Bluebeard did not build his brides, and “Ex Machina” did not involve the bride being saved by her brothers.

    If you emphasize the creation and mad science aspects of the story then it is Frankenstein.

  • Like Icare

    No man…
    It’s clearly gonna be Creedence Clearwater Revival vs Frankenstein.
    The tagline is already there and all.

    “IT’S REVIVED!!!”
    It’s like poetry.

    And it can start with a Lana Del Rey version of Bad Moon Rising…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUQiUFZ5RDw
    …and it can end with a rap version of the Fortunate Son.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40JmEj0_aVM

    It’s gonna be great.
    It worked for Who’ll Stop The Rain. Well… almost…

  • bassbait

    new video?!? How can this be?!? Hitb?!? What?!? Fuck moopies?!?

  • It seems Mike and Jay got replaced by multiverse alter ego replicant clones.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I assume the rest six paragraphs will be posted later?

  • tOmy`

    Harsh.

  • tOmy`

    Who out there actually seen American Ultra? Just curious what did you guys think of it.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    At 11pm??

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Sicario was thrilling as shit.

  • Like Icare

    Max Headroom killed them and replaced them by actors.

    Now Mike is actually Jesse Eisenberg and Jay is actually Topher Grace.
    Kirsten Stewart will play Rich Evans, who is the only one who escaped the carnage and is currently roaming the backroads of America, plotting his revenge while being pursued by Max Headroom’s agents.

  • LukasH

    That’d be 9am, tommorow.

  • Joe Syxpac

    PLOT HOLE!

    Plinkett’s VCR is broken!

  • Like Icare

    It’s not a hole. It’s a twist. Dun-dun-DUNNN!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Fuck you, Jay! It’s your fault we’re now only going to get a five-minute, end-of-the-year recap segment on Sicario, as I anticipated.

  • Like Icare

    Well… I did add a few more in that other reply… but that should do.

  • tOmy`

    I think the most glaring problem was the “videogame” stuff. Some of it really felt like a thing you put in a game to increase its length – the worst offenders obviously being the Goblet of Fire championship and the final quest for horcruxes, that pretty much read like a quest from a Bethesda game.

    You go to the point A, something bad happens and / or it’s a trap. You go to the point B, something bad happens and / or it’s a trap. You go to the point C and you sorta guess that someth- oh, there it is, it was a trap.

    The last book (at least for me) was pretty much redeemed by the final battle, however the ending was the final nail in the coffin.

  • Joe Syxpac

    You mean it was never broken in the first place?

    What a tweest!

  • tOmy`

    I think the TV screen is not working either.

    As in: It’s not even there.

  • Trask

    “Tune in next week for half in the bag”

    Next week? Get outta here, you joker.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    WHAT? ANDREW WILL DROWN IN SORROW? I CAN’T HEAR WHAT YOU’RE SAYING.

  • Joe Syxpac

    You don’t have to actually see the screen to enjoy Rhinestone.

    It’s just that good.

  • tOmy`

    The problem is that while we grew up, the books didn’t grow up with us that well.

    Except sex and violence, it pretty much was the 11yo book from the beginning to the end. Which sorta undermines the whole idea behind it. But hey, it wasn’t all bad.

  • Josh

    Episode 100: The Force Awakens?

  • Joe Syxpac

    Nope, that’s gonna be 99.

  • The Ghost

    Creed was fantastic. Loved it. I do have a soft spot for the Rocky films and most movies of this style, but even on its own merits I thought it was very well done. Always a great theater-going experience when the audience is cheering and thoroughly engaged with a film.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    That’s right, Joe! Because it’s 66 upside down.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I love the framing of this shot: http://i.imgur.com/r1tsCod.png?2

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The story behind the story of the story behind Moby Dick comes out.

  • bassbait

    Young Frankenstein was great.

  • Joe Syxpac

    I saw the trailer for that. The whale in that movie is like 300 feet long.

    I always appreciate realism in movies.

  • Joe Syxpac

    It’s FRONK-EIN-STEEN!

  • bassbait

    Victor Frankenstein looks like a good movie to put me to sleep. I’d better add it to my “to sleep to” list.

  • Joe Syxpac

    I call bullshit that Mike actually watched the Peanuts movie.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    A giant whaler vs Spider-man and Thor doesn’t sound realistic to me.

  • Joe Syxpac

    It’s like poetry.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Jay’s Harry Potcliffe impression is spot on.

  • johnnythunders

    I saw it on my MacBook Pro, on a Sunday afternoon, baked, tucked in bed. It was a perfectly fine ‘TV Movie’ type film. It was kinda like ‘Chuck’ meets ‘Pineapple Express’. Going in with low expectations it was cool.

  • bassbait

    it’s just so grayt.

  • bassbait

    caaaaaaaaaaaan you take meeeee hiiiiiighyaaaah!!!

  • bassbait

    so if this was episode 98, what’s 99 gonna be? 100 is obviously going to be an in-depth review of “Playing it Cool” starring Chris (Rich?) Evans.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    I never saw any rocky movies, but it sounds like it followed the same pattern as the rambo films in terms of quality and seriousness.

  • z7gizzyz7 .

    I can’t help but be really skeptical about whether your review of Frankenstein was genuine. This isn’t meant to be an attack on Mike and Jay, but I doubt they would have even reviewed it had they been connected with Landis. I also feel like punches were pulled and their was less comedy in this review, almost like you were walking on egg shells. Again, not an attack, just a comment on how this came across to me.

  • Like Icare

    A lot of feels like padding because more money, yes.

    But I’d be fine with Harry’s Underwater Adventure or whatever – IF it had consistency and internal logic.
    Like that shit about their brooms-ball crap I mentioned recently… somewhere around here.

    It is clearly baby shit that became insanely popular… and so it must be a part of every story… and then it becomes obvious that it also MUST be a part of the WORLD.
    And then there’s a half-assed attempt to flesh it out by making up like a dozen British pro teams and like one or two for other countries… and not all countries get their brooms-ball teams.
    Because lazy.
    Then fans start asking stupid questions so it gets rules about “700 secret fouls”.
    Again because lazy.

    Stuff happens because plot needs it and then it stops happening as it is no longer needed to further the plot… and that makes everyone seem stupid.

    Particularly the reader. Which causes stupid questions, which causes more stupid shit to be piled on… cause the writer is lazy.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    “Laptop” would have been sufficient.

  • bassbait

    I think it’s gonna be a regular BOTW. I’d like a WOTW but I don’t have my hopes up. Though I have my hopes up for Double Down starring Neil Breen.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    anyone else out there get movies tv network and therefore watch rhinstone constantly?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Chris Evans’, Rich Evans’ brother, movie will not be as cool as Cool Cat Saves the Kids.

  • Like Icare

    Tell him to turn it up to 11.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, but to be frank, I didn’t mind these things too much. I didn’t read Harry Potter because I wanted to read a philosophical piece about the life of a chosen one in a convoluted magical world on par with LOTR. I just read it because it’s fun.

    While I love taking potshots at sheer stupidity of some of these things / rules / story lines / ideas and generally mock the “because magic” concept, I take it as Fast & Furious where cars have 17 gears and runways are spanning across half of the continent. It’s not supposed to be smart.

    The two things I mentioned were parts that really bothered me tho – because at that point, the book sorta stopped being fun. Especially in the case of the last one that felt like stretch of “I ran out of ideas 500 pages ago”, compiled into one big mess sorta leading to the fun stuff that go absolutely overshadowed by some JK’s attempt at philosophical ending. It wasn’t fun anymore. It was dull, unimaginative and failed to tell a compelling, logical story.

    And I will gladly take take “no guns” and “qudditch championship” over that any time. A fun book can be dumb book. But when you have a book that dumb, poorly written and not being very fun, you start to notice all the other cracks in the concept much more frequently. Or when you put it on screen. They should have never done that.

  • LukasH

    Yeah, for plebs like us maybe.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    #redlettergate

  • It’s been a good day. It could have been better, because they could have uploaded a new episode of BotW and my band could have taken 1st place in a competition but I’ll settle for HitB and 3rd.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, the over-the-top coolness was a thing of beauty (and failure at the same time).

    However, I can’t say I would watch this movie baked. At the beginning, I sorta thought it could work, but as it progressed, I couldn’t see myself lighting up a joint for it. It was way too messy.

  • bassbait

    one time my band lost a battle of the bands to a band called “Blue Powda
    Monkeys”. I wasn’t even upset. They should win every battle of the
    bands on name alone.

  • bassbait

    http://puu.sh/lCaRl.png

    this is becoming quite a nuisance.

  • bassbait

    anyone else encountering these problems?

  • tOmy`

    Speaking of: Marketing a movie as a “stoner comedy” just because there are people that smoke weed is not the best idea.

    You don’t call Requiem For A Dream a “heroin comedy”, do you…

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yes. I guess it’s not just my shoddy internet connection.

  • Yes. For a second there, disqus even refused to acknowledge I was logged in.

  • LukasH

    Disqus is on the fritz atm

  • LukasH

    My very existence was questioned in those seconds.

  • bassbait

    I guess I’ll just go back to my previous task – watching pop videos until I go insane.

  • tOmy`

    It’s because acknowledgments are for #1s only. Disqus ain’t got time for losers!

    #Trump2016

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I had to read this at least three times until I realized that it was your band and not hand that could’ve won a competition.

    Otherwise I’d been like: “Huh, must have been a lonely day at home.”

  • Also fair. My friends are at a party 50kms away and my crush is there too.

  • tOmy`

    That was my first impression as well.

    Whatcha gonna say about it, Freud?

  • It only takes one…

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    it’s aimed at fangirls, jay.

  • tOmy`

    Nah, I am just kidding, I just couldn’t see the word properly with all that cum on my scr- Oh.

  • bassbait

    Quit mocking-jay! Part 2.

  • bassbait

    I changed my skin to Mastodon’s “Crack the Skye”, one of my top 5 albums. I really recommend checking it out, it tells a story about the drummer’s depression that he experienced as a result of his sister’s suicide, and how he wishes he could bring her back. It also tells a story about a paraplegic boy who can astral project, ends up inside of the body of Rasputin, and then him and Rasputin fight the devil in space I guess.

    Prog Rock, folks!

  • bassbait

    It’s like lay’s chips, you can’t have just one.

  • It’s SOOO good. The next one was such a disappointment, though.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    You’re right. He watched the Peanu’s movie.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    As I was about to upvote, someone else did too, but then immediately removed it. Had a good chuckle.

  • bassbait

    Their whole career was building up to CTS, so The Hunter had to be a step down no matter how they did it. But it’s good for what it is. Just doesn’t blow my mind like CTS does. The atmosphere, the guitar solos, the structure of the album and the individual songs, the vocal melodies and harmonies, it’s one of the few albums I could be tempted to call “10/10”. I have a very rigid top 5 albums and I’d considering giving them all 10/10, but that’s about it.

  • bassbait

    Peanu Peeves? Star of The Patrix?

  • Thom Williams

    In today’s parlance, Adrianne would be seen as mentally incompetent with Stockholm Syndrome and Rocky as a rapist.

  • tOmy`

    That was me. Sometimes I go back to my posts and upvote them for a brief excitement: “So that’s how it feels like when you receive more than just the pity upvote”

  • bassbait

    Have you heard the deleted track off the album?

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • Hm… no? I didn’t know there was a deleted track.

  • tOmy`

    Is it wrong that I was somehow expecting a Matrix porn parody?

  • tOmy`

    It’s because it got deleted.

    Fucking hell, I am on fire today!

  • castlemonster

    And Apollo as the defending World Champion rapist. And Paulie as a hobbit.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    My favorite character would surely be Trinititty.

  • bassbait

    this one –

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xr9_e4ySRYA

    it’s heavy as fuck. They didn’t keep it on the album because they thought it didn’t fit the sound of the album. It ended up as a bonus track on The Hunter so it got buried, but it’s seriously really good. And it’s the only track where Bill sings lead vocals. Bill’s got a great voice and I wish he’d sing more lead parts in future albums. My dream is to see a band with every musician who plays an instrument also doing lead vocals. Mastodon is just one guy away from making my dream come true.

  • Christ, this hurts my very soul.

  • tOmy`

    Spice Girls.

  • bassbait

    but do they all play instruments while singing?

  • tOmy`

    Then you are doing it wrong.

  • Wait, it’s this one! I’ve seen it but I completely glossed over the fact it wasn’t on the album.

  • tOmy`

    Their bodies are instruments.

  • #sexist

  • bassbait

    true dat.

    Troy from Mastodon would fit right in with the Spice Girls crowd.

    http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2014/7/9/1404921569671/Troy-Sanders-of-Mastadon-014.jpg

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    You must be one of those “sheeple” I keep hearing about.

  • bassbait

    I’m a big Asstodon fan, so I seek out all of their output. Except the Jonah Hex EP which was meh. But I’d assume that’s mostly because the movie sucked too.

  • bassbait

    I was ready to bring up that video. Mastodon has never made a video that I didn’t love for some reason or another.

  • tOmy`

    I knew that if you combine “Australian” and “origami” there will be penis involved in it somehow.

  • This song is so much better than anything on the Hunter, sadly. I really hated that record.

  • I blame Andrew.

  • bassbait

    I loved it. Black Tongue, Curl of the Burl, Blasteroid, Stargasm, and All the Heavy Lifting were particularly great.

    But I do think that OMRTS was a better record, and Tread Lightly is in my top 5 Mastodon songs. The Motherload is my go-to song when I want to feel good about life though. It’s the first time in like 20 years or more where a Metal band managed to make Metal that was fun and danceable. A great pick-me-up song.

  • Pulp

    The best Mr. Ed remake is Zoo.
    (Mr.Ed and Mr.Hands share their journey to true love.)
    http://www.imdb.com/media/rm713857280/tt0874423?ref_=ttmi_mi_all_sf_1

  • bassbait

    Anybody have an issue where knowing dudebro types can ruin your ability to enjoy something that you like, because they like it too and end up associating the thing you like with douchebaggery?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I would watch moby dick vs sharknado… just saying…

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    we prefer the term shepard you racist!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Hush flat earther!

  • Adzl33t

    Eh I just don’t like the watch procedural movies, with a bunch a bland characters just doing a job, Zero Dark Thirty is so dull

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Dude do you want woolen socks or not. cause I could happily go back to bed?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Yes we hired Harry because he is the best Shearer there is.

  • Adzl33t

    I thought the music was great in Creed, but I wouldn’t expect an old white guy who likes Nickleback to know what’s great music :p

    Also Michael B Gordon was great, his performance shouldn’t be showy, it’s more down to earth and subtle

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Yup, thas right.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    From Amazon: “Well what can I say about this fabulous book. Before I read this book my life was dull, imcomplete but through this book I discovered that my penis was not an inanimate peice of flesh just hanging there in between my legs but a instument of pleaseure that I can share with many people through the magic of puppetry! It is no longer the dull slip of skin that was but an all singing ,all dancing Marionette of mirth!
    I’ve already been putting on puppet shows for all my friends and family and so far they have been delighted.I would wholeheartedly recommend this book to everyman everywhere.”

    http://www.puppetryofthepenis.com/html_site/index.htm

  • Yeah, who wouldn’t wanna see Jack’s schlong.

  • Do you export to Europe? 😉

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I did. Too heavy for my taste, although more listenable than most metal.

  • bassbait

    just wait until you hear Dillinger Escape Plan’s “Calculating Infinity”!

  • John Nelson

    They brought him up I’m just commenting.

  • Marvin Falz

    I just realized that the inhabitants of the Village of odd smiles resemble the inhabitants of Beta III. They’re strangely contented and all alike.

    That penispuppetry user review made me laugh out loud. I love the RLM webzone.

  • Like Icare

    I was always too old for it. But that is not the issue.
    I’ve read kids’ books as a kid, I’ve read adult books as a kid, I’ve revisited some of both as an adult with much more literary mileage.

    Only thing that’s changed about the books that had consistent plot is that they can be more obviously cliched – and that it is now more obvious to me how much more simple and in some cases pathetic (as in full of pathos) and melodramatic some of those kid’s books were.
    But the books didn’t become stupid. Just… simpler.

    On the other hand… As a kid I had this big book of fairy tales and children’s stories called “365 stories”.
    And it was always obvious that they’ve put the good stuff, story and illustration-wise, up in the front, filling up the last half with cheaper illustrations and what could barely be described as stories.
    And even as a kid you could tell that.

    A “story” about a land of dreams is just not the same quality as a short version of Jason and the Argonauts. Or a sanitized version of the story of Oedipus.
    A story written for kids, but written well, may become boring to an adult – but it won’t become stupid.

    Same thing with old science fiction.
    Jules Verne and H.G. Welles stories may have become “kids’ books” but they are still solid stories.
    There are kids’ versions of various Dumas books… which simplify the story but don’t make it stupid.
    Cause there is internal logic to the story.

    There’s a bit in The Count of Monte Cristo where they are talking about drugs and potions during dinner… and at one point a character asks “But what about when someone has a seizure and you can’t pry open their mouth to give them the potion?”
    To which the Count answers that there are ways.
    He basically handwaves the issue – cause back then there were no syringes yet. They were literally invented the year the book came out.

    But as the Count is already described as a mysterious man with a huge and wide knowledge of drugs and potions and secret stuff – that handwave flies the same way Obi Wan’s explanation about the Force and the weak-minded.
    Wise dude knows more than he’s willing to tell. OK.

    Now… had the Count come up with some contemporary solution involving magic or prayer… or fairies. That shit would fly back in 1844.
    And it would be retarded now.

    But since it is written with internal logic that works… it works still.

    What I’m essentially trying to say is…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVzX22lrWxA&feature=player_detailpage#t=58

  • Captain Turbo

    Dudebro Movie must happen.

  • Like Icare

    If you like something let the dudebros have it. If you like it afterwards, it’s yours forever. If you don’t like, you never really liked it anyway.

    And if someone offers you a million dollars for one night of sex – say yes, but insist on using protection. And no strange shit.

  • bassbait

    deja vu really hard just now. Deja vu is funny because it’s the most interesting thing in the world when it happens to you, but when you hear someone else talk about how it happened to them, it’s utterly boring.

  • bassbait

    and don’t get any plastic surgeries either.

  • RLMkeepitup

    home sweet home on mt. everest

  • I’d watch that for a brofisting.

  • Like Icare

    What I’m saying is that it has cracks and becomes dumb because the writer was lazy.
    And lazy writing affects the whole book.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I sure hope they find him, he’s the last of his ancient tribe.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Dude Where’s my Car kinda tried that angle

  • RLMkeepitup

    I’ve never heard anyone say whenever Stallone is talking its captivating. wow this movie must be good.

  • Like Icare

    I’ve often needed subtitles when Stallone was talking.

  • Like Icare

    Yes. It is very dense. It’s full of quiet intensity.

  • RLMkeepitup

    same.him and arnold in the expendables was just double trouble

  • Like Icare

    It turns out that they’ve never come down from the mountain and all the episodes since then have been a dream while they’re freezing in the snow.

  • Like Icare

    That would be Trainspotting.

  • Like Icare

    I can understand Ahnold just fine.
    But Stallone’s mumbling had me going “What? What did he just say?” many times.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Max let Mike read his script. In the span of about 60 seconds it went from the death of frankenstein, to slightly comedic reanimation, to romantic love scene between Harry Potter and professor xavier.

  • Max

    Is that an AT-ST on the door sprayed in snow?

  • RLMkeepitup

    the snow to left of Jay looked like a wampa head to me

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Landis, is that you?

  • bleurgh

    Max might get his dream of working in the independent film scene earlier than he expected.

  • Domo

    I’m surprised Mike and Jay didn’t mention the film this comment section was really raving about and wanted them to review.

    Jem and The Holograms

    Maybe that’s what Mr. Plinkett is trying to watch right now, but no one told him it was removed from theaters due to no one showing up.

  • Domo

    I think Jay only made Mike watch Creed as an excuse to show sexy shots of Sylvester Stallone’s career in their HiTB.

    It’s like the naked Tai Chi guy from the Die Hard series leading to them talking about Live Free Die Hard.

    You were duped, Mike! Totally duped!

  • Captain Turbo

    Creed vs Frankenstein would be a cool movie…

  • bleurgh

    Which is weird considering Jay seemed more into the Max Landis interview than Mike did.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    mostly china. but they go everywhere.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Disqus is Disqusting. get used to it.

  • So, you’re a communism supporter?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    its more communism supporting me.

  • bassbait

    only Stallone movie I’ve seen is First Blood. It’s good.

  • Palpatine

    Who else here has seen Fruitvale Station?

  • Vance

    It’s been sitting heavily in my Netflix queue for a bit.

  • Jack Friday

    What? When Max Landis was talking about Victor Frankenstein in his interview, I thought it was some kind of stupid joke, because he didn’t really have any other reason to be there. Guess I just got it confused with some other stupid fucking piece of shit like “I, Frankenstein,” or the Dracula reboot or some other stupid fucking piece of shit. How are we supposed to keep track anymore?

  • How’s the sheepening coming along?

  • Percy Gryce

    Mike & Jay are not as much fun when they’re not hating.

    LET THE HATE FLOW THROUGH YOU, I once heard someone named Sheev say.

  • True dat, all that I learned from this episode is that Creed and V. Frankenstein are movies that exist.

  • zzz

    Saw Creed last night, it was decent but its literally just a remake of the first rocky. If you’ve seen the first rocky, you’ve seen Creed.

  • Amontillado

    Just got off the plane, back home and the liver hates me for the abuse I put it through on Thanksgiving. TIME FOR SOME RLM GOODNESS!

  • RLMkeepitup

    1:1 ain’t bad

  • bassbait

    True. Though Terror in Beverly Hills is definitely next on my to-do list for Stallone movies.

    Wait… Frank Stallone?!?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Finished, and I Quit quitting smoking, because fuck living 20 years longer and having to not smoke. FUCK THAT IN THE ARSE!.

  • I hear Adrien Brody has a huge pianist

  • Palpatine

    That would be his nose.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Halle Berry had her eye poked out

  • Palpatine

    The guy who says that has a good point.

  • Palpatine

    Hey yo Paulie.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh he’s the emperor from… Gladiator! That’s it!

  • I hear Elton John loves pianists. I mean it’s pretty obvious if you’ve ever seen him perform live.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Elton John loves pianists but he also loves cock. You see he raises roosters with his hens.

  • I just hope they keep Michael Jackson’s pianist away from Charlie Brownhole. They just don’t fit well together.

  • Tyler Young

    To be fair, regardless of whether you liked the character or not, the hearing impairment of Adonis’ love interest WAS brought up a couple times over the course of the film — most notably in the scene where she encourages him to accept his father’s surname.

  • Thanatos2k

    Why haven’t you frauds made a “mocking Jay” joke yet?

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    Plus, Rocky pummeling a black man would be a clear assertion of his white privilege.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    Too easy.
    Just like Jay’s mom.
    (Hey, his dad’s dead and his mom gets lonely, all right? No one needs your judgment.)

  • I haven’t seen Creed yet, but saw it got Higher reviews than Rocky V. Really brings the franchise Full Circle. Hear it’s about One Faceless Man In America who Overcomes obstacles and Fear to fight a Good Fight. It helps that Rocky is there to help him With Arms Wide Open. It shows how Inside Us All there’s the question of What’s Life For and for him it’s boxing. Can’t wait to see this Beautiful film. Who’s Got My Back?

  • RLMkeepitup

    he doesn’t show up until the movies almost over but he brings rope

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I guess size really doesn’t matter. But this topic is a little too tight right now. I’ll get deeper into that business later.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    We wanted them to review Love The Coopers.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    No that was someone else… you know Whats his kname?
    YOU!

  • Rocky IV would instantly become the best because it sympathizes with Commies at the end.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Am I the only one that suspects that Wizard Phoenix might actually be Joaquin? I wouldn’t put it past either of them to try that.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    you spelt *Therapist wrong.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Elton John Married a woman in Brisbane.
    Michael Jackson married a woman from Brisbane…
    Biz is a slang term for business, Bane is a comic book character…..
    911 was an inside job!!!!

  • bassbait

    Plinkett’s Jar Jar impression and Boss Nass impression is adorable. Also Phantom Menace looks REALLY awful, holy shit. I mean like, it really has a soap opera production value feel to it.

  • bleurgh

    I can’t imagine how dull Sicario must be if it’s duller than a scientist with no personality growing potatoes, doing experiments and complaining for 3 fucking hours.

  • Adzl33t

    A sweet disco soundtrack makes it fun

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I posted a pic of my pianist…. I got banned.

  • Daniel T

    Lol I was excited when they finally made it up to the house

  • bleurgh

    Wasn’t Mrs Poppers Penquins another story behind the story movie? Also that horribly miscast Hitchcock biopic.

  • bleurgh

    That’s what the stewardesses say.

  • RLMkeepitup

    this whole story behind the story trend is just the beginning. wait until we have movies within movies pretending to be other movies

  • bassbait

    I haven’t seen Phantom Menace in so long. This is surreal. I don’t remember most of this.

  • You know, most boxers at the end of their career actually talk like Stallone. Authenticity, man.

  • bassbait

    Do you think Return of the Jedi would have turned out better if it was actually “Revenge of the Jedi”? Not just in name alone, but in concept – a revenge story, Luke getting back at the sith with sheer force (pun not intended) and letting his anger get the best of him. And at the last minute Luke realizes what he’s doing and decides to give up and be stronger than succumbing to revenge, at which point the emperor decides to torture him with lightning and then Vader sees Luke stop himself from turning into what Vader turned into, and decides to redeem himself by killing the emperor.

    Idk, it’s something. I’d have liked to see a darker follow-up to Empire.

  • Marvin Falz

    I think the title “Revenge of the Jedi” would work, if there was a follow-up movie which develops the theme of a Jedi turning to the dark side. Afaik RotJ is the third act of the saga and thus finishes the story. Luke helps Vader to turn back to the light side, Vader kills the Emperor. There are supposedly no more Sith or whatever they were called in the OT and the Jedi Vader has been returns.

  • bassbait

    Greg Proops is in The Phantom Menace? Like… the guy from Whose Line is it Anyway?? He plays one of the heads on that two headed SGI (shit generated imagery) thing during the pod races.

  • bassbait

    http://puu.sh/lCGzN.jpg – am I allowed to call if the condition was that the movie sucked?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Am I allowed to ask about your grasp of English? mesa dyslexic and that hurt my eyes.

  • bassbait

    Maybe it’s because I’m tired as hell but I don’t see what was off about my English.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Not yours. the text. I forget who here speaks english as a first language. and who doesn’t.
    I wanted to congratulate you for being clever…

  • bassbait

    Ah ok. I almost fell asleep watching the damn thing, so now my brain is mush. Not to mention, I just watched The Phantom Menace.

  • Looks like someone had a deathwish.

  • bassbait

    Plinkett’s commentary made me do it.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    While I agree I could have killed the Emperor as a matter of logical cause and effect.(Sorry Palpy.)
    Luke would have had to use the dark side and just become another Anikin.
    He was all pissed off and fighting his dad, I have the luxury of ignoring my dad.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Shhhh. Breath the gas…. its good for you.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Did you say Deathlist?

  • bassbait

    That new Grimes song is stuck in my head so hard. I love the video for it, but I also kinda hate the video for it. Idk, I’m conflicted.

  • dougandskeeter

    Are we supposed to leave real commentary, here? I’m asking genuinely as a never-before poster. I’ve watched every episode of HITB and most everything else on the site and just feel like something’s missing in this one. The chemistry between Jay and Mike seems to be a little off in this episode (they drank too much beforehand). But, don’t get me wrong, I was anticipating this one for a while and enjoyed it. I just feel like Mike’s grabbing the reigns too much, and both Jay and Mike are trying to impress rather than inform. Just talk about the movie and say what’s on your mind. They spend too long jerking each other off.

  • Marvin Falz

    Btw., I don’t like MLP – Friendship is magic. Mainly because of the fanservice and how it altered the writing. Also, because of the fanbase attitude. If I like a show, I don’t care much for whom it is written. I’m able to enjoy a show for children, even though I’m an adult. But I hate to be labeled as part of the fanbase just because I watch the damn thing, I like Star Trek, I don’t consider myself a Trekkie nor a Trekker. And nobody forces me to be part of these communities just by definition.

    I liked the first season of MLP – FiM for the same reason I still like the Muppet Show. The Muppet Show is a show for children and adults alike. From the second season on the writing of MLP – FiM took a dive and so I stopped watching.

    /end of rant. Thank you for interest in what I had to say.

  • bassbait

    you can leave real commentary but the conversation runs dry really quickly if everyone does it all the time, so we kinda just go off on our own tangents.

    Idk I love every HITB video, I just love watching RLM do anything because I respect them as people and as content creators. But yea, it was a little dry of an episode, probably because the films themselves weren’t really worth talking about compared to something like, idk, Robocop, where they’re both big, established fans. It’s got the “middle of the road” problem with the movies they reviewed, at least with Victor Frankenstein, but to an extent with Creed, because while they both enjoyed it, there’s not much to talk about compared to a head-turner like Fury Road. Middle of the road movies make for middle of the road episodes. That’s why I like when they spice things up by watching an older film (Battlefield Earth, Godzilla 98, etc). It bypasses the problem of middle of the road episodes.

  • bassbait

    I watched one episode of MLP. I didn’t like it. I watch Spongebob’s first 3 or 4 seasons regularly and own them on DVD. I’m totally fine with watching kid’s shows if they’re good. MLP is just not my thing I guess.

    If I want to watch a girly show, I watch Totally Spies… I’ve said too much.

  • Marvin Falz

    I’ve said too much too. Well, I really love alcohol, knife fights for girls and fucking as much girls as possible.

    Having said that, Spongebob is much better than MLP imo. The first few seasons are really enjoyable, I even like the slasher-scene around Spongebob/Sandy.

  • bassbait

    I’m not embarrassed about femininity at all, but Totally Spies is just trash packaged to pander to girls and it works on me despite my cynicism. It’s embarrassing that I’m falling for it.

  • Marvin Falz

    Because there’s nothing embarrassing about femininity. I’m thinking about which girly show appeals to me, but there is none, except for the first season of MLP – FiM. Actually, appealed, because I don’t have any desire to watch any of the episodes ever again.

  • bassbait

    I don’t really care for animals that talk as characters. I like people as characters, and if they have to be creatures, I want them to be fantasy creatures like Totoro, especially creatures that don’t talk. That alone makes MLP difficult for me, then there’s the whole pony culture, and I don’t just mean the bronies, I mean the way that the characters speak and say shit like “everypony”. Then there’s the fact that it’s a kid’s show through and through. Spongebob is a good show that happens to be on a Kid’s network, but MLP, what I saw of it anyways, reeked of kid’s shows, the same way He-man does. It didn’t feel well constructed, it felt like slapping together shit for kids. Anything trying to teach kids morals is especially atrocious to me. I also didn’t care for the animation. Granted what I saw wasn’t season 1, so maybe all of these problems I have aren’t present in that season… but I don’t really care to find out.

    Too bad Wonder Showzen wasn’t actually a kid’s show.

  • Marvin Falz

    Imo you don’t miss anything when you miss MLP. There’s one redeeming quality though: the voice actors and the fanbase are into charity. The friendship lessons in season one are okay. They sure are for children, so they’re kept basic, they’re no deep analyses of life, the universe and the rest. The focus lies on teaching the children how to get along.

    I don’t know Wonder Showzen.

  • bassbait

    I think this clip will summarize Wonder Showzen –

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccKRBuEqhiY

  • Kawaii as Fuck

    Budweiser, you’ve created a monster! And they call me….Drinkenstein!

  • Marvin Falz

    Fantastic! Made me laugh all the way through.

  • bassbait

    it’s a black comedy satire of children’s television. It has a wide variety of skits including live action with little kids, live action with puppets, cartoons, etc etc. It’s really great. Pretty abrasive humor at times though. They often make fun of the “educational” nature of kid’s shows and whenever I think about how shitty kid’s shows get, I just think back to the theme song of Wonder Showzen – “oh good lord, it’s a kid’s show”

  • Marvin Falz

    Well, then, praise the Lord Jesus for this show. 😉 And America were nobody gets killed for putting out such a show.

  • Buk Pravon

    I appreciate your opinion. I don’t fully agree with it. I think there are many very good written episodes after the first season. But I still have my difficulties identifying myself with most parts of the fandom, so I can see your point there.

    … On the other hand: I have difficulties identifying myself with any other human being on this planet. :/

    Back to topic: I don’t think, that shows or movies for children in general are necessary at all. Most of them (especially MLP) are made intentionally to sell them something. Toys, sweets, world views. Entertainment is just a side effect of this. Marketing is the main aspect of why and how they are created.

    The best and most enjoyable kids movies for me and for kids, are those with some serious issues and without anything you can craft toys or action figures out of. Movies adults can enjoy as much or even more than children. Movies which do more than just dangling some colorful distraction tool infront of their eyes. They are rewatchable and beautiful just by themself. (No examples! I think most of us are having something in mind already and I don’t want to ruin this by not mentioning it in my listing.)

    This said I want to point out, that MLP:FiM isn’t exactly fitting in this pattern. 🙁 But I like it for at least trying to achieve this status through writing and appeal, even though it might never be able to reach it by default. 😀 It’s kind of a hybrid between the one and the other side and thats better than just the conditioning marketing the most other shows are.

    Or short: I’m okay with MLP:FiM not being perfect. 🙂

  • bassbait

    although funny enough, a preacher showcased Wonder Showzen as an example of how kid’s shows are trying to turn kids into satanists. First of all, he says it’s a kid’s show, but the very opening text of the show says it’s *not* a kid’s show, and that kids shouldn’t watch. Secondly, the show’s satire, the satanism stuff is a joke as an intentional over-the-top portrayal of creepy kid’s show undertones.

    There’s also an episode where a kid goes around dressed as Hitler and asks random adults on the street “what’s wrong with the youth of today?”

    here’s the preacher giving a sermon about how Wonder Showzen is evil – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTdOGsWq9oM

  • Marvin Falz

    Christianity – taking fun out of everything since 0. Wisdom doesn’t seem to be a Christian thing either. To be fair, I’m lumping all Christians together. Even weirder is the conspiracy theory about the papacy being the secret leader of the freemason/illuminati/United Nations conspiracy against Jesus. Them followers are even dumber.

  • Marvin Falz

    I admit, I loved the Transformers g1 series from the 80s, even though they’re not much more than slapped together toy ads. If this series isn’t imperfection, then what is? It can be fun to watch episodes just for discovering mistakes.

    I hope I don’t ruin something for you, because there are two children movies that deal with very serious issues, which I’d like to state as examples.
    ‘A Message from Holly’ and ‘Only Clouds Move the Stars’. Both deal with death and dying. Both of them don’t belittle children. I’ve compared ‘A Message from Holly’ with ‘To Grandmother’s House We Go’ (one of the Olsen Twins movies) and I concluded that the first two movies I’ve mentioned actually help children to cope with life, while the latter one might warp the perception of life of children.

  • Commander X

    I think ROTJ would have been better if Lucas hadn’t taken the creative reins.

    If you’ve read the original draft for “The Star Wars” you’ll realize this is definitely the same guy who would go on to make the prequels. Lucas is a horribly indulgent writer and director and the first movies weren’t horrible because other people were taking the creative initiative.

    People need boundaries and limits to stay sane and healthy. Think of all the old myths and fables about someone getting some divine-like power to fulfill their desires and then they become unhinged and destroy themselves. I think it was like that with Lucas. In a very short period of time, he was catapulted from a humble life to almost unlimited money and prestige. Star Wars’ success left Lucas shorn of all these connections to normal life, his boundaries and limits, and left him isolated in his fantasy world (the source of his material success) and it drove him crazy.

    Return of the Jedi’s greenlighting was the sigil that fully-awoke the hyper-manchild incarnation of Lucas that we’re especially familiar with today. A New Hope was a risky crapshoot that no one thought would evolve into the franchise that it is today, and Empire was just as risky, since no one was 100% sure if the first was just a fluke, but the act of attaching the strongest and most-balanced staff helped make it what’s unquestionably the best of either trilogy.

    Problem is, people knew Star Wars wasn’t a fluke at that point, and was actually a huge deal. It did what Star Trek failed to do with pop sci-fi until long after the fact (and most of it was rooted in irony and camp), and Lucas was in a genuine position of power, helped by the fact that he was loaded due to having control over all things licensing.

    Everything about Lucas’ actual creative skills has been said at this point, in that there’s little-to-none compared to everyone else he surrounded himself with during 4 and 5, and when those were done, his reasoning in the fantasy world of “I created this franchise, so I’m also the most qualified to control it 100% too” meant that everyone responsible for something you really liked about Star Wars was dropped or put way on the backburner in favor of yes-men and others too afraid to call him out on his shit because they wanted to get their paychecks. Assuming Lucas is the petty and spiteful baby-man he comes off as behind the scenes, it was probably a justified fear

    Everything wrong with Jedi as a finale can easily be attributed to Lucas taking the reigns away from the Empire crew. Instead of some original final assault from The Empire, he just recycles another Death Star scenario, then you have every scene involving Jabba and the Ewoks, which scream to an uncaring world for a competent editor, and the actors themselves are visibly running out of steam by the half-hour mark, kind of just walking from scene to scene in that uninspired way everyone in the prequels did, save for the bursts of fighting.

  • Commander X

    I think ROTJ would have been better if Lucas hadn’t taken the creative reins.

    If you’ve read the original draft for “The Star Wars” you’ll realize this is definitely the same guy who would go on to make the prequels. Lucas is a horribly indulgent writer and director and the first movies weren’t horrible because other people were taking the creative initiative.

    People need boundaries and limits to stay sane and healthy. Think of all the old myths and fables about someone getting some divine-like power to fulfill their desires and then they become unhinged and destroy themselves. I think it was like that with Lucas. In a very short period of time, he was catapulted from a humble life to almost unlimited money and prestige. Star Wars’ success left Lucas shorn of all these connections to normal life, his boundaries and limits, and left him isolated in his fantasy world (the source of his material success) and it drove him crazy.

    Return of the Jedi’s greenlighting was the sigil that fully-awoke the hyper-manchild incarnation of Lucas that we’re especially familiar with today. A New Hope was a risky crapshoot that no one thought would evolve into the franchise that it is today, and Empire was just as risky, since no one was 100% sure if the first was just a fluke, but the act of attaching the strongest and most-balanced staff helped make it what’s unquestionably the best of either trilogy.

    Problem is, people knew Star Wars wasn’t a fluke at that point, and was actually a huge deal. It did what Star Trek failed to do with pop sci-fi until long after the fact (and most of it was rooted in irony and camp), and Lucas was in a genuine position of power, helped by the fact that he was loaded due to having control over all things licensing.

    Everything about Lucas’ actual creative skills has been said at this point, in that there’s little-to-none compared to everyone else he surrounded himself with during 4 and 5, and when those were done, his reasoning in the fantasy world of “I created this franchise, so I’m also the most qualified to control it 100% too” meant that everyone responsible for something you really liked about Star Wars was dropped or put way on the backburner in favor of yes-men and others too afraid to call him out on his shit because they wanted to get their paychecks. Assuming Lucas is the petty and spiteful baby-man he comes off as behind the scenes, it was probably a justified fear

    Everything wrong with Jedi as a finale can easily be attributed to Lucas taking the reigns away from the Empire crew. Instead of some original final assault from The Empire, he just recycles another Death Star scenario, then you have every scene involving Jabba and the Ewoks, which scream to an uncaring world for a competent editor, and the actors themselves are visibly running out of steam by the half-hour mark, kind of just walking from scene to scene in that uninspired way everyone in the prequels did, save for the bursts of fighting.

  • Buk Pravon

    Well, thanks. 🙂 I added them to my To-do-list.

    Never heard of them before.

  • Jeff Parsons

    Please do talk about ‘The Martian’. If you drank the kool-ade I’ll be disappointed. A movie/book where a NASA-selected scientist who traveled to Mars says “Oh I’m so bad at science, I’ll call it … a pirate ninja!” should be shit on by everyone.

  • tOmy`

    Interstellar did it first!

    #NolanIsAHackFraud

  • tOmy`

    That one is still bearable even though you forget that you are a human being somewhere in the middle.

    AoC is when the complexity of this awfulness hits properly. That movie is honestly unwatchable.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I go one day without internet. ONE. and I miss a new HiTB.

  • PoopyPants

    I can’t wait til you guys nail Star Wars.

  • Captain Turbo

    Except the Dexter Jettster scene. Pure cinematic gold.

  • It’s not really a HitB. I don’t know who those guys in front of the camera are. They seem to have replaced Mike and Jay.

  • Captain Turbo

    Oh, I get it. They just reversed the races of all the major characters. Genius!

  • The Ghost

    I didn’t know Victor Frankenstein was a real movie.

  • Captain Turbo

    I nailed Star Wars three nights ago. Missionary position. Ooh, yeah…

  • Mark Bisone

    It sounds like they referenced the ’85 laughfest “The Bride”, too, with all that circus crap. Always steal from the best (of the worst).

  • The Ghost

    I think that had more to do with the films themselves. “Creed” is a good movie, but Jay is clearly more interested in it than Mike is, even if he wound up enjoying it. And neither one of them is going to feign outrage over “Victor Frankenstein.”

  • The Ghost

    There’s a scene where Creed is put in jail over night. You might say he created his own prison.

  • Mark Bisone

    Actually, I guess if you’re going to attempt a “ripoff every former movie of this brand name” approach, Frankenstein is pretty much the best subject matter. The novel itself is like a chaotic hodgepodge of formats, sources and overlapping narratives, to mimic the monster’s own crazy anatomy.

    I think a film that did that with movie references could potentially be interesting, even good. But it would have to be done with intelligence and a point of view. So far, no retelling of the tale has been superior to “Re-Animator.”

  • tOmy`

    Well, since the fella who made his comment about this comment section either deleted it or got deleted (which I doubt), I shall post a response to him here. And yes, you can leave any comment you like. I strongly suspect that it’s the internet we are talking about here. Aaaaaanyways, my response to the guy was this:

    “While “we” are the perfect example of the community one shouldn’t deserve, I think we are also a community one can appreciate – because the things you mentioned (including the childish comments) are mostly running jokes – nobody is pretending that they are some philosophical pinnacle representing the heights of commenting in 2015.

    It is a silly humor.

    And that’s what makes community a community.

    You have to take into consideration the fact that while a lot of people leave a comment here and then move on, we are “stuck” here for 2000+ comments – after a certain amount of time, you do run out of intellectual insights on the Steam Controller and what every knob does.

    Yes, you can blame certain people (not me tho, because I don’t like being blamed) about turning the comment section into a massive blog about pop-culture and generally creating our own treehouse. But there is no sign that says “you are not allowed to climb in”; furthermore, it’s not like everything here is not on topic. But as I said, as numbers of comments hit triple digits, most of the things have been already said. Except when it comes to Max Landis, it seems that there is never enough of insight on colors.

    So even tough I don’t totally agree with you, I shall reward you with a “like”.”

  • Marvin Falz

    You’re welcome. 🙂 I stumbled upon two of them on YT. I was searching for movies with Andrea Libman. I found “Susie Q”. Shelley Long plays the mother of Andreas’ character. I know and like Shelley Long from Cheers. From there it went to “A Message from Holly” also with Shelley Long in a leading role; then to “To Grandmother’s House We Go”. Either YT recommended “Grandmother’s”, probably because of Rhea Perlman’s involvement (she also starred on Cheers) or for another reason I’ve already forgotten. “Only Clouds Move the Stars” is a movie I’ve found in the local library.

  • RLMkeepitup

    so we need a Wayan brothers version of frankenstein, something like Blackenstein, coming 2016.

  • tOmy`

    Is it tho?

  • tOmy`

    PPG all the way!!!!

  • tOmy`

    Isn’t it beautiful when such climax is also the highlight of this year’s cinema?

  • Popo Bawa

    Midrunk and Drunkay?

  • Popo Bawa

    I think some of the problem is them reviewing movies they aren’t very interested in. They often snark at the lack of interesting, well-made movies – but then they review mostly the same mainstream crap that they complain about. Why bother? Those movies get more than enough attention anyway.

  • LukasH

    Adventure Time and ESPECIALLY Gravity Falls. So good.

  • Popo Bawa

    “It did what Star Trek failed to do with pop sci-fi”

    That’s not a failure! There is no point to pop sci-fi, it’s practically a contradiction in terms.

  • Popo Bawa

    Every banned needs a pianist.

  • Popo Bawa

    Mike initially found Creed’s length intimidating!

  • Popo Bawa

    How should I know? Is there a list of people who have seen it?

  • Popo Bawa

    Just wake me up when Cobra 2 is here.

  • Popo Bawa

    How about more heavy prog bands with NO vocals? I hate “songs”.

  • Popo Bawa

    Be cool about feeeline safety!

  • Popo Bawa

    Sometimes, I do!

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Ugh. I heard Max Landis and them give excuses right away and I stopped. Who needed this film? It was painfully obvious it would be a flop based on everyone involved.

    If for some reason we still need a Dr. Frankenstein picture, only Hammer should attempt it. Jarred Harris would be perfect for the Baron Frankenstein. Shoot it as a classic Hammer film on sets and avoid computer crap. Sadly, this movie would also flop though.

  • Popo Bawa

    I liked his voice in that! He was one of the better actors. And I thought nit was effective that he was not stereotypically eeeevil.

  • Popo Bawa

    He made himself handy around their studio.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    How did you not know this. Do you not remember the marketing hell that led into Phantom? It isn’t as bad as the new films. I still haven’t seen a Star Wars tampon yet though, but I am sure it is out there.

  • Popo Bawa

    I must have missed his dresses. Were they pretty?

  • Popo Bawa

    “Adonis Creed punched me, and all I got was this lousy prostate orgasm”

  • Popo Bawa

    OUT!

  • Domo

    Another recommendation for Frankenstein done right is a recent play from National Theatre Live starring Benedict Cumberbatch (I know, I know).

    It’s a well made play using nice, minimalistic sets, great full body makeup for the monster, and little hints of humor mixed with classic storytelling.

    Unfortunately, it’s never been released as a DVD by the creator’s request, but there is a bootleg of the play on youtube if you do a little searching.

  • LukasH

    Still here before I go – that play actually was played here in a small little (cinema) theatre and you failed to mention it was directed by Danny “I did Ewan McCregor first” Boyle. Indeed was awesome.

  • I’d like for him to pick my cabbage patch.. no wait. That’s my wife thinking. Damn telepathy, now I write what she thinks.

    #marriage

  • tOmy`

    Speaking of monsters: When I was a little, almost STD-free cheerleader, Vítězslava Klimtová (yes, those are actual letters) wrote a little book called Lexicon of Endangered Species of Monsters.

    It was great publication – you had these hand-drawn pictures of monsters and their description. They were all friendly (basically) and despite some of them being based on classic monsters, a lot of them were very unique. Definitely one of the better books that got published here.

    So, I guess what I am sorta saying is: Let’s hope Hollywood won’t find these books, because there is a potential for at least 200 standalone monster movies.

  • tOmy`

    Is it an IMAX theatre?

    Also: What the hell is wrong with you, English, using the same word for theatre and cinema?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Because movie theater?

  • RLMkeepitup

    it does sound like Monsters Inc. only better

  • WrongWithYourFace

    What does the hat ‘e’ (hattee) signify?

  • LukasH

    Kinda like a “ye” sound

  • LukasH

    Not really, but it is great. (Tape out!)

  • Palpatine

    Mike mentioned no one’s afraid of mummies anymore. You’re wrong Mike. Because Bite of the Mummy directed by Len Kabazinski comes out next year!

  • tOmy`

    What, do you call it a school theater as well? Or club theater?

    I REFUSE TO PARTICIPATE IN THE BUTCHERING OF CULTURE.

  • tOmy`

    Well, Monsters Inc. are cool and designed to sell toys (no offence to Monsters Inc.)

    This is more of a fresh new take on the classic fairy tale monsters, mostly from Eastern, Central and Western Europe. However all these monsters do live in Czech Republic – there are information on where to find them, including a map. It is really based on our folk tales and on the nature of Czech Republic.

    Monsters Inc. are way too cool for that and generally universal, as they don’t represent much else than shape, height and colors.

  • tOmy`

    More like this: http://i.mimibazar.cz/h/bc/6/130308/07/f4331165.jpg

    There is an online version apparently, but I am kinda too busy to look for it now. I’ll do it later.

  • Like Icare

    Check this out:
    http://www.rastkociric.com/filestore/pdf/03bO&BMANUAL.pdf
    http://www.rastkociric.com/filestore/pdf/03aABPRIR.pdf

    First file is a translation… so names of most creatures are not authentic folk names.
    This is a short book of illustrations.
    Actual book it references in the impressum (and for which those illustrations were originally created) is much more extensive, with detailed texts and even photos of purported cryptozoological creatures.
    https://static.kupindoslike.com/Ale-i-bauci-Aleksandar-Peragras_slika_O_38013221.jpg
    https://static.kupindoslike.com/Ale-i-bauci-VAMPIROV-PRIMERAK-A-Peragras_slika_O_40102797.jpg

  • Like Icare

    I guess Soccer Mummy will have to wait until the next world sportsball event?

  • tOmy`

    Oh yea, I assume there is a fuckton of similar books all around the Europe – our folklore goes waaaaay back and shares a lot of similarities (Waterman) throughout the whole Europe, so there is a lot to work with. The book I mentioned is more of a charming thing, this looks a bit more “frightening”.

  • tOmy`

    It fucks your shit up, that’s what.

    Our letters are really radical. Don’t let me started on this little viscous bastard: ř.

  • Palpatine

    Sadly. Mummy movies are going to be exploitable as dog movies soon.

  • Mark Bisone

    It sounds a bit like Ulisse Aldrovandi’s Monstrorum Historia , which contains some of my favorite Renaissance drawings.

  • Visionary director, producer, actor, writer and stuntman.

    BTW when is Angel of Reckoning going to come out? A bit tough to compete against Star Wars i December. Hope it’s not going to be a January movie, nobody likes those.

    #16:9

  • Mark Bisone

    For a second, thought that read “explodable as dog movies”, and you were having another flashback.

  • That lady looks like a vegetalbe. What gives?

  • tOmy`

    Sorta. As I said below, more on the “charming, clever and funny” spectrum.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    But I want to let you started.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I’m really not quite sure what you mean.

  • tOmy`

    I would love to describe it, but it’s impossible. I think we are the only nation that uses this little bastard and is capable of pronouncing it – even Slovakia gave up on that (just as they did on life, culture and appearance).

  • tOmy`

    Well, these are two different things, right?

    So why not to have two separate words for it? Especially if you think about it this way:

    “I am going to the theater.” Now in America, the chance of the person saying it actually going to see a play is as close as me buying a Burger King for a breakfast, so that’s fine. But in here, the chance is pretty much 50:50.

    It is way too similar in a concept (as to go and see something) but absolutely different art form. Hence two words = better.

  • tOmy`

    To put it simply:

    “I am going to the cinema.”
    “I am going to the theater.”
    = Me likey.

    “I am going to the theater.”
    “Cool, what you gonna see?”
    “Avengers.”
    “Oh…”
    = Me thinks is stoopid.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    This right? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhp2Von-KpY

    The sample on wikipedia just sounded like a basic rolled ‘r’ but apparently it’s way more fucked up.

  • Like Icare

    It’s the chairs. Chairs are lower in this episode. They may have been using small chables.

    Also, they got that big block of gold to promote Me, Myself and Frankenstein.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, that’s it, unfortunately that guy is not even close to nailing it. I can make you a recording later on – that is if I find a “cheerleader vocalizer”.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I’ve never heard anyone call a movie theater just a “theater” out of context, though. People are more likely to say “I’m going to the movies” or even the “cinema” option. Or just saying “I’m going to the “movie theater”, of course.

    However, saying something like “I went to see the Avengers. The theater was packed” would be totally fine because the other person is likely to know that the Avengers is a movie and not a play.

  • The guy makes it sound like a Polish “Ż” or “RZ”.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Can you also say: “A new Best of the Worst video” in a robotic manner, while you’re at it?

  • Funny how you’re using the American spelling of theatre.

    #trololololo

  • tOmy`

    Oh yea, I know, I just find it odd, that’s all.

    Do you have two different words for it as well?

  • It’s an actual theatre.

  • tOmy`

    Does it have a widescreen stage?

  • tOmy`

    I think your “RZ” is pretty similar to Ř. Or maybe the same? I always forget.

    And yea, he is closer to our “Ž” as well. He is a hack fraud and should be reported to the youtube police.

  • If you squint your eyes enough.

  • tOmy`

    “This is the best 3D experience as of yet! It’s like those actors are really there!”

  • Commander X

    Say what you will about mummies, Hammer Studio’s first foray into mummy movies made an impression on me mostly because of Christopher Lee as “Kharis”. A real no-nonsense kind of bandaged revenant, he smashed down doors and just strode right in after his victims.

  • tOmy`

    The problem with Mummy movies is the fact that you are one Zippo away from ending the movie within the first 2 minutes.

  • It’s similar but I think Ř is softer than “RZ/Ż”. It’s as if somewhere in between “Ź” and “RZ/Ż”

  • tOmy`

    Hmm, I think it is closer to R actually. Like, I am pretty sure about that.

    Now I am gonna have to dig up some Polish hip hop to hear the differences.

  • Commander X

    Before I saw parts of the Wayans film parodies on the TV, I thought parody was all about imitating certain styles of genre and storytelling conventions, but altered for comic effect or used to ridicule the various tropes associated with them. Now, thanks to the Wayans, I know film parody is all about reenactments of scenes from recent movies but with more doo-doo and fart jokes in them.

  • tOmy`

    Or check youtube:

    Niezupełnie. To bardziej połączenie ‘r’ oraz ‘ż’

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • WrongWithYourFace

    It’s basically the same way as in English. We have “teatteri” for the actual theater and “elokuvateatteri” for movies, which loosely translates to “living picture theater” (or “motion picture theater”, if you will). Then there’s the slang word “leffa” (a loan from Swedish) for “movie”. “I’m going to the movies” would be “menen leffaan.”

    Oh, and we actually do have its own word for cinema: “kino”. But it’s fairly rarely used these days.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, we call it kino. It is the most commonly used word. I don’t think we have a different one actually. It comes from Latin or something, French / Italian also use it when they are trying to be hipster.

  • Marvin Falz

    Kino is a word for cinema also in Germany.

  • Marvin Falz

    Gers. So many Gers.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s a bit shitty to be honest.Jay is a Ridley Scott fan and they both loved Enemy to pieces. We deserve to know what they thought of these fucking movies.

  • Percy Gryce

    I thought it was his brand–you know, Maggit®-brand soap or face cream or cream of wheat.

  • tOmy`

    Exactly!

    How am I suppose to respond to my friends when being asked “What did you think about Martian?” when I have no backup from redlettermedium well of knowledge and only opinions that matter!

    I suspect that my friends are kinda tired of “It’s not better than Mario, that’s for sure” by now.

  • tOmy`

    Well, they didn’t do that whole Waterman or Banshee thing yet. I am sorta expecting it by now.

    One would assume that Banshee movie for dolby surround cinemas writes itself…

  • Palpatine

    Is Waterman an Adam Sandler from the 90’s?

  • tOmy`

    It’s a humanoid that lives in water and kills people. Especially small children. He also smokes and knits.

    But yea, I think it would be hard to market it in America. Half of the people would be like: “What? Is that like a superhero?” while California would be like: “What the fuck is a water?”

    That’s right, rinse that Mustang with Coca Cola, show the nature who is the boss here!

  • Palpatine

    He sounds like a pleasant fellow.

  • Palpatine

    We already have like a million movies about aliens and zombies and vampires, it’s time we give a new monster a chance.

  • tOmy`

    Yup. Here is a classic Czech depiction: http://www.galerieroudnice.cz/a/upload/dilo/75-obrazek.jpg

    Although I assume we share the similar vision of him with other countries. He is actually a very common occurrence in fairy tales. He also sits on a willow, which is like the most common tree for every spooky / magical thing in the book.

    Scottish / Irish version (I forgot) is Jenny Greenteeth. Well, I assume it’s like that.

  • tOmy`

    Well, the thing is that vampires / aliens / zombies are pretty universal. Like everyone understand that concept and it will sit well with audiences from all around the world.

    Although they do have roots in Romania, Area 51 and Voodoo respectively, so I assume there is a chance you can introduce these things to the world and still make it work.

    Yes, I said Area 51! Roswell was an outer space job!

  • Like Icare

    Shows or movies for children ARE necessary. Particularly the ones with scary monsters. Who then get defeated.
    As Neil Gaiman paraphrases it – they teach children that dragons can be beaten.

    Or as psychologists would put it – they help little kids to articulate their fears and to learn to deal with them.
    Anxiety and stress doesn’t start with puberty. And kids have no experience with dealing with it, so it helps a lot if those feelings can be attributed to an imaginary cause for which there is an imaginary solution.

    The other reason why there’s a need for stuff aimed specifically at kids… is that kids don’t know words like specifically or articulate.
    Many kids don’t know how to read yet. Or to appreciate realistic depictions of characters, locations etc.

    They are learning very basic elements of symbolism, metaphor, storytelling… things need to be tailored a certain way for them to be able to understand and appreciate them.

    What is NOT necessary though is treatment of school-age kids the same way as kindergarten kids.
    The moment the kid learns how to read without spelling out each letter – it’s absorbing ALL the information presented to it in the written form.
    Even the stuff it can’t understand cause it was aimed at someone with much more scholarly and life experience.
    Different kind of tailoring is needed there.

    And an understanding that not all kids are the same and that writing “for kids” is not a task to be taken lightly.
    I mean…

    Most of the crap I got fed with as required reading in elementary school was either childish crap, classics which weren’t really intended for little kids but got pigeonholed on account of being about kids or with kids in it (stuff like Oliver Twist, Treasure Island, The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank) or stuff written by and for much older crowd – but again, there’s a kid in it so it must be a kids’ book.
    Most of the later were depressing as all fuck. Poor families, people being sick or dying because drama, war, famine, disease, cold…

    Then you get to highschool and they throw the Iliad and Proust and Goethe and Stendhal and Flaubert and Zola at you.
    I know exactly one guy who read those books cause he liked to read them – but he also read Joyce and Borges for fun.
    Most kids either go “fuck this shit” or read it cause they have to.
    Those who have developed a taste for reading on their own keep reading, others start thinking of it as a chore.

    Which is what happens when outdated education plans are force-fed to kids who were forced to read crap to read all their lives, based on nothing but cultural inertia.

    Same thing goes for movies.
    They should have a “prerequisite knowledge – go watch or read this first” marks on them, not “PG-13 on account of boobs” ratings.
    Instead things get bundled according to “safety” because certain images and ideas are deemed inappropriate so the only way to get exposed to them is to… well… experience them first hand.
    You know… For kids.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    in the myths of my country its called Nargun.

  • Like Icare

    Edgykeyshun bitches. That’s how it works.

  • Palpatine

    So basically he’s the Czech version of the Boogeyman.

  • Palpatine

    They should make a movie about the Jersey Devil. Although, I’m pretty sure they have.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Not really. sort of. Bogeymen are more generic. tOmy is talking about a water deamon. they are only found in water.
    They exist to scare small children away from water.

  • tOmy`

    Well… not exactly. Boogeyman is like a common concept we all have that serves to teach kids a valuable lesson: Don’t swim to the deep water. Don’t go to the forest in night. For the love of good, don’t book tickets to Australia.

    But he has no form / no specific traits about him. You could say that Waterman is a version of Boogeyman, sure… but that counts for every monster that serves the same purpose.

    Waterman could have been introduced to kids for the purposes of not swimming in lakes (especially at night), but he is a very specific monster – much more specific than Vampire or Zombie. All Watermen are the same and they all share the same abilities.

  • Palpatine

    Any sort of monster that preys on naughty children can be seen as a Boogeyman.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Fast&Furious is a franchise that exists.

  • tOmy`

    Oh, yea, cryptozoology movies.

    Now that is a minefield and a goldmine in one idea.

  • Gannon

    It felt like Mike and Jay were being a bit too nice to Victor Frankenstein. They were probably holding back because Max Landis was just on the show and he’s obviously a sensitive guy.

  • Palpatine

    There’s been plenty of Bigfoot movies, that’s for sure. Movies like Suburban Sasquatch.

  • tOmy`

    I guess so, yea. But here for example we have it kinda different. For example, we have a term “strašidlo” – something that scares you / haunts you.

    It is an absolutely different term than “monster”. I guess it’s more of a folklore thing, but we do view all these beings as separate entities, so we wouldn’t throw them all into one bag.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    it’s shit. the internet made it into a “thing” because rule 34,creeps,furries and so on exist. The only people who try to pretend it has any artistic merit for anyone besides little girls are usually the 1% of the fanbase embarrased by the other 99%.

  • tOmy`

    That is one of the most hilarious movies ever.

    One person absolutely killed it on stream during the end of the movie, when the girl leaves: “There are other suburbs. Other Sasquatches.”

    I was laughing for 10 minutes straight. Perfect joke.

  • Like Icare

    As in kinetic… as in cine-ma… as in cinematography… as in moving pictures… as in moopies.

    As for the theater… originally it basically meant “the viewing place”. Back when the Greeks ruled the world.

  • Palpatine

    What year was that stream?

  • tOmy`

    I know, I have a classic education.

    Well, I studied Latin. I wouldn’t call it education. More like “those classes you sorta could ditch, but then again: myths.”

    Then the grammar started…

  • tOmy`

    The one before last as far as I remember.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Theater is just a word for the type of building. rows of seats facing the entertainment.

  • Marvin Falz

    The hype around it is much bigger than the product itself. The charity work of some of them redeems the whole culture. If the charity work wouldn’t exist all that would remain would be the fun of the creators / voice actors and their fanbase and the hype around friendship.

  • Palpatine

    I also got that impression.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Nargun dosnt knit. but he has been known to weave nets.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Thats fair. I think water deamons and sprites are Bogeymen. but a specific type of bogeymen.

  • tOmy`

    According to wiki, Waterman is almost unique to Czech folklore (not even Polish know him). It is pretty cool to see that despite having the “similar monster” in different cultures, we most likely came up with them separately.

    So that either means that they totally exist or that parents are pretty unimaginative lazy ass hack frauds.

  • tOmy`

    Speaking of this kinda real world: Why don’t we make oldschool zombie movies anymore? Is it too religious?

  • Mark Bisone

    Maybe. But it was interesting that Mike got a copy of the shooting script (maybe?), and I think Jay’s delighted reaction to the prospect of lighting a reanimated baby on fire was genuine.

  • Like Icare

    The short, pdf one, is more lighthearted.
    The original one treated those creatures as one would treat local fauna.
    And poor and illiterate folk fear a lot of things and that gets carried down through generations.
    Including stuff like this:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dukljan

    This guy was probably also some local dude, hated by the local peasants.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zahhak

  • Like Icare

    Leave it to the Japanese…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShtOtNRXuyk

  • Alex Lee

    What if mummies were the ones in control of zombie hordes? Like the Borg-oh….

  • zzz

    pretty much, its black rocky. Every arc and spoiler from the first is in creed. It did nothing new.

  • tOmy`

    And you thought movies are the problem…

    “Yahoo!/Mic ‘accidentally publishes review of Rihanna’s new album Anti before they’ve even heard it:

    Anti “continues the ‘BBHMM’ storyline of an even edgier, freer Rihanna” it allegedly claimed, adding “Rihanna especially pushes the edge in [NAME RELEVANT SONG FROM ANTI THAT MATCHES DESCRIPTION], where she sings [LYRICS].

    The URL for the review, filed by Mic. for Yahoo!, now directs to the homepage, and journalist Chris Riotta, who according to Vice’s i-d site wrote the article, has since tweeted a photo of Rihanna with a shrugging emoticon and the words “sh*t happens”.

    https://twitter.com/bengreenman/status/670375731373936640?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

  • Like Icare

    The most valuable lessons I picked up from my Latin classes were that a legend about a person can become a living thing in the minds of the people and that there are few finer feelings than just making the passing grade.

    We had Latin for two years, first taught to us by an old guy who didn’t last long on account of poor health after being tortured, quite literally by his former students.
    Then he got sick and died and we got a “legendary” Latin professor back, who was supposed to be extremely strict and hard on students.
    She was also a tiny, quiet and almost funny looking fragile little woman who went around pulling her little wheeled bag and who carried her own chalk and sponge, just in case.

    But holy shit did that legend about her work! I had a decent, C to B grade before and wasn’t really willing to work for more.
    But after experiencing quite literally debilitating fear (And I wasn’t the only one – we would literally go stupid when asked to simply read a sentence.) I simply started skipping her class.
    I mean… fuck it… It’s the war, she’s old… Who knows what will happen. Maybe the horse will learn how to sing.

    Then I twist my ankle and I’m at home with my leg in a cast as a single shell kills over 70 people in the middle of the town, a lot of them school kids, school gets cut short…

    And having no grades whatsoever in the last semester I come to school, still limping, for what I was told will be “preparation classes” for a test.
    It turns out to be last ever chance for a passing grade, with an entire classroom full of students with no grades at all or without passing grades.

    I got by on luck and tenacity, and was the last to be given a passing grade while everyone else got a “come back in August”.
    The walk home felt like floating on air.

    It was like that scene where Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum just make it out the closing doors of that alien mothership which is about to explode. Only better and more cathartic.

  • Like Icare

    “DELETE ONE OF THESE ENDINGS TO THE SENTENCE AND KEEP THE OTHER BASED ON FACTS” is my new favorite quote.

  • bassbait

    couldn’t get into Adventure Time tbh. Haven’t seen Gravity Falls.

    I tend to only want comedy TV and my problem with Adventure Time is it wasn’t funny. Also? I had to watch it while I was in the ER once and that kinda blew.

  • Like Icare

    Racist. I’m gonna go with racist.

  • bassbait

    I was 5 years old at the time. So no.

  • Like Icare

    It was there on the floor. He just picked it up.

  • bassbait

    I actually did have that moment that Plinkett describes in the Phantom Menace review. I seriously was completely dead brain-wise before Jar Jar says “MESA GOING HOOOME!!!” and I was like “oh shit what’s going on? Oh, I’m watching Phantom Menace still…”

  • bassbait

    Hate songs? Must be hard to listen to music then.

    Also, instrumental bands are lame. I used to love them but they have no meaning. Lyrics are where a musician is allowed to express, in words, their emotional state. To quote Between the Buried and Me “This is all we have when we die” – a statement for the ages. Something that means something to you. If the band I’m listening to isn’t saying anything, then I’m not hearing anything. It’s like a silent film, it’s cool for what it is, but the best silent films will *never* beat the best films with dialogue. The best films know exactly when to place dialogue and what to say. The best albums know exactly where vocals should go and what the lyrics should be.

    You can listen to instrumentals all you want, and I’m sure you’re probably a fan of Animals as Leaders, but bands like that will never have the legacy of bands with lyrics because lyrics just add more meaning, and for me, more worth to a song.

    Not to mention, vocals are an instrument. Faith no More proves this thoroughly.

  • tOmy`

    I am still hoping this is some sort of a convoluted prank-hoax-commentary on current state of hackfraudism.

  • tOmy`

    I don’t know. I can see people buying more the “apocalypse” version than the “other religion raising people from death as well” version.

  • Everyone needs to put there own twist on it. Simple, well-told zombie movies are boring, don’t you know that? We need to have them fighting boy scouts and the characters from Pride and Prejudice.

  • tOmy`

    “Guys, guys, I know! The twist this time is that these zombies are neither fast or slow! They are sorta… sorta like us! It’s a commentary! On… on consumerism!”
    “Great idea, secretary #5. What kinda dog do we use this time?”

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Yesterday I read Gravity Falls’ next episode will be its last one. While it is a shame, it is also good that it was a cartoon that had a planned beginning, middle and end. That is very rare. It lasted only two season (like Twin Peaks) but it was high quality all the way through.

  • I kinda got that feeling too. But I’ve also been hearing some people say that it’s a pretty fun film in it’s own right, and doesn’t deserve the critical ire it’s garnered.

  • A little off-topic, but that reminds me of all these “edgy” illustrations people have been doing depicting hordes of zombie-like millennials staring slack-jawed at their phones. It’s such a repetitive and trite concept at this point, but everyone acts like “ZOMG, THIS SOOOO TRUE, WILL REALLY MAKE YOU THINK. SO DEEP, SMH, WHAT IS DIS WORLD COMING TO?”

  • tOmy`

    “90s KIDS WILL REMEMBER!!!”
    “WHAT? 90s KIDS? NOONE WAS EVEN ALIVE BACK THEN!”

  • “Like dis if we made your childhood AWESUM”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Here’s a scenario: you have the option to get rid of Vine or the YouTube comment section. Which one do you choose?

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • dollar store cashier wife

    That’s an easy choice. Youtube comment section because it’s a a living proof that Hitler was right.

    And besides Vine gave us this gem:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GHy63tsop0

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well that means we’ll have the even more r-worded Vine.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Speaking of old shit they’re making a sequel to fucking Independence Day. It’s time to make do on Mike’s promise and shove a club up Roland Emmerich’s ass.

  • Like Icare

    Well… it IS a kinda time honored tradition.
    http://www.anyclip.com/movies/superman-returns/lois-watches-the-news/

  • Jeff Parsons

    Don’t get me started on Nolan. I was a bit of a fan with Memento until I realized how much it relies on the backwards story gimmick. Haven’t liked anything else he’s done, particularly his horrible Batman series.

  • RLMkeepitup

    if its a sequel do the aliens decide to attack on July 4th again by coincidence? they should just attack ever presidential election

  • RLMkeepitup

    Syfy has done it , think they called it Carny. They also did Chupacabra. There was an x-files episode on the jersey devil.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    If the aliens kill Donald Trump then I guess that club will hit Emmerich’s head instead of his ass.

  • LukasH

    Gravity Falls is much more plot driven than any other kid show and funny as hell.

  • tOmy`

    I already solved this problem.

    I have a shitty cellphone for like 15€. I call it smart tho, because there is a Sudoku game that I still can’t control after having it for like a year. Seriously. I am not shitting you. That fucking game does tell me you can put more numbers into one square, but holy fuck, I still didn’t figure out how.

    Beat that, iPhones.

  • LukasH

    My phone has no games and can’t even vibrate ffs. Thank fuck my lady has a proper machine I can steal to play Threes.

  • tOmy`

    My old phone had this badass Snowboarding game. I miss it.

  • pete smith

    I didn’t know white people use Vine

  • LukasH

    My old phone(which I had for longer than the aforementioned lady, who incidentally destroyed it, one could presume out of jealousy) had this lame match three game, which I deeply loved.

  • tOmy`

    Those are the shit. It’s simple, yet addictive.

    And in no way as dumb as reading 9gag on a commute to the pub (all hail to the home-office cheerleaders!)

  • pete smith

    there is app for youtube comments, but come on missing that opportunity to spew all sorts of racist hateful shit (without chance to anyone downvote them) would be huge loss for me.

  • Domo

    Maybe Hollywood needs to combine story-behind-the-story movies, monster films, and blaxploitation films into one film just to get all their rehashed material onto one screen, while meeting diversity quotas at the same time.

    The backstory to Blacula and what really caused Dracula to bite him (angel duss deal gone bad) is important, same with the interior decorators who bought Blacula’s coffin.

    Get on that, Hollywood!

  • tOmy`

    One more implied upvote for the word “blaxploitation”.

    That sounds like a perfect name for a 21st century plantation. Or a band.

    Possibly the second one.

  • Domo

    Angel Duss should be a band name. Anytime the band says “Angel Duss” at a concert, the cool kids can yell “What has you had?!”

    It would be great!

  • Palpatine

    They’ll just cast Samuel L. Jackson and have him yell “motherfucker” the whole film.

  • Domo

    His coffin will be the one that says “Bad Motherfucker” on it. Most definitely.

  • Red Skeleton

    Funniest line in the review:

    “Tune in next week for Half in the Bag.”

    Bwa ha ha ha ha! More like Tune in Next Week to see this still on the top of the page with 5000 comments.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    We haven’t reached those numbers in so long we need to start collectively taking viagra or smth.

  • Domo

    We need more spambots, more pushers.

  • Palpatine

    I like to go back older videos and read the comments sometimes. Especially the ones where shit went down.

  • tOmy`

    We can all start arguing about something. That always works!

    Although the last time I mentioned the “r” word here (despite not starting the “r” discussion), people already avoided the topic anyway.

    I guess self-censorship does kill the fun stuff.

  • tOmy`

    No, viagra makes you do stuff to other human beings.

    Booze is the key to start making stuff to this webzone.

  • Palpatine

    Episode 100 of HitB is coming soon! What will it be though? A behind-the-scenes special? The long awaited review of The Force Awakens? An hour long loop of the Ishtar trailer? A review of Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip? Only time will tell!

  • Palpatine

    Which “r” word?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I don’t do that and on some videos I actually avoid comments. I dunno’s what up with them but the Plinkett reviews comment section sucks even more then on youtube to be frank.

  • tOmy`

    Religion.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I thought you were gonna admit to being racist instead?

  • Palpatine

    Is it just; “when’s the next Plinkett review?”

  • tOmy`

    I am too white to admit to anything!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    alongside a whole bunch of nuts.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    CHECK

    YOUR

    PRIVILEGE

  • It’ll be a Daddy’s Home review.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    an incredibly serious and thorough anal-ysis of Macbeth starring Michael Fassbender

  • Palpatine

    That sounds like a movie about incest.

  • tOmy`

    That movie is over 400 years old, who cares?

  • Palpatine

    Ah, I miss the days when Mike and Jay would go into detail about why a movie sucks/is good.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    the force awakens HiTB episode will be at least 45 minutes long. I hope…I wish…

  • Palpatine

    It probably will be. And I bet my bottom dollar they’ll mostly have good things to say about it, and have some nitpicks as well. The comments for that review will be a whole ‘nother story.

  • bassbait

    I’m not so much into plot driven. But if it’s funny, that’s what I need to know. My favorite kid’s shows were always Spongebob, Animaniacs, Ren and Stimpy, Ed Edd and Eddy, and Courage the Cowardly Dog.

    Though that last one is like a David Lynch experiment.

  • fred
  • tOmy`

    Let’s set this webzone on fire:

    Max Landis suck up trivia: Did you know that he never said that the big bad studio ruined American Ultra in his interview with RLM? You might have notice it, but your brain didn’t.

    He rightfully blames the marketing.

    #yolo

  • tOmy`

    That’s gonna be the best part of the whole Star Wars experience.

    That and me coming in and spoiling it from the get go.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    You’re so cute! You actually think there are people who write music reviews sincerely! Or people who care about the quality of things that are auto-tuned!

    If that were the case, there wouldn’t even be a Rihanna.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’ll be Ratatoing.

  • bassbait

    Rihanna’s fine. She’s a talented singer. And there are plenty of sincere music reviewers.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Check that condescension! Why wouldn’t there be Frankenstein fans? BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN is one of the greatest movies ever made.

    Besides, there are Thor fans. If there are fucking Thor fans, there might as well be fans of anything.

    Thor fans!
    Coldplay fans!
    Genital herpes fans!

  • tOmy`

    Well, I am cute, thanks for verifying it tho – and yes, I believe that there are people in the industry who care about music just as much as I do (and they are backed up by proper knowledge, not my self-imposed wanna be understanding that is very limited to my own desires) and that they are trying to be sincere.

    And no, I didn’t write this post as a “shocker” – I just found it hilarious. And perfectly summing up the current state of “art” in music that can be very much compared to the current state of “art” in cinema.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Which of you foreign nations uses this…ß?

    And, how is it pronounced?

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    I know you’re cute. We all know you’re cute. We’ve seen you and watched you shake your money-maker.

  • tOmy`

    Depends. In Greece, it is pronounced as B. (Or at least that was the case in ancient Greek, if I remember correctly).

    I am not sure how Russians pronounce it, but I assume it is B as well.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    I first came across it in the movie title Der fangschuß, which Rotten Tomatoes spells as “Der fangschuss”.

    The movie was made by French and Germans set in Latvia.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • *ANGRY RESPONSE*

  • tOmy`

    Oh, damn, right. In that case I think it is sharp “s” or something like that.

    I was thinking about Beta for some reason.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Disqus uses a bad typeface. It don’t look right. Not your fault.

  • Palpatine

    Bride of Frankenstein is one of those rare sequels that’s better than the first film.

  • tOmy`

    Acknowledgment of superior opinion, yet a small, passive aggressive insult towards the end of the post followed by “It’s all good, bro.”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Italics.

  • Palpatine

    No, I’m Italian.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Theater?

    I haven’t even [redacted] her yet.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    As they say in Italy once you go black you never go back. #JessicaJones.

  • Palpatine

    Are you calling me a Guinea?!

  • One can find really weird books in old books shops, a friend showed me this. The title is “Was Karl Marx a Satanist?” Notice the resemblance to old Nazi anti-Jewish propaganda on the cover. Glorious. http://wiadomosci.monasterujkowice.pl/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/czykarolmarks2-206×300.jpg

  • bassbait

    meta-joke.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No I’m saying you’re a superhuman who was raped by Doctor Who. #BamIfYouGotThat

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well the Brits made their own Jack and Jill. I hope you’re fucking proud of yourself.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDpYD8DWG1c

  • bassbait

    British Comedy exports aren’t common. Last one I remember is The World’s End and that was a great movie. I hope this one stays in the UK, where it belongs… in a landfill.

  • bassbait

    Road Warrior, Terminator 2, Evil Dead 2, Aliens, Empire Strikes Back, Toy Story 2, Godfather 2…

    did I miss any? And fyi any of those are up for debate, the only ones I actually disagree with are Aliens and Toy Story 2 (Alien and Aliens are tied for me, and Toy Story 1 is a little better imo).

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    True, and the first Frankenstein is no slouch to begin with.

    I’m no big fan of sequels, generally, but isn’t it interesting that it’s not as rare as it used to be that sequels improve on many originals? I mean, take superhero movies, for instance. The only good ones tend to be the second parts.

    (Except Iron Man, of course. The second one of those sucked so hard, it made me dislike the first one retroactively.)

  • RLMkeepitup

    Gillian clone vid posted by someone in pre-rec chat: http://www.ispot.tv/ad/AIqR/mcdonalds-all-day-breakfast-menu-breakin-rules

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    una volta che si va nero non torni più indietro

  • Who’s the rebel now? *dies of heart attack*

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Bam, but only because I have a Netflix membership and they won’t shut up about that fucking sh!t.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    So, am I the only one who doesn’t know what defuck Max Landis is talking about when he talks about “IP”?

  • 127.0.0.1

  • Oc3anman

    What’s wrong with Coldplay?…’s first two albums?

  • Oc3anman

    Star Trek 2!

  • LameSame

    This is my hell.

  • tOmy`

    Mostly Coldplay.

  • tOmy`

    I know that one only from Asian pissing porn.

    I don’t think he was talking about the same thing tho.

  • Palpatine

    Nope.

  • Palpatine

    Why’d you spell “shit” like that? Wait, are you who I think you are?

  • LameSame
  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Intellectual Property

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Karl Marx was a Satanist

  • tOmy`

    Wait, are you trying to tell me you actually done your homework on a stuff a guy you are supposed to hate actually said?

    Get off this webzone, you tryhard!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Yeah but you shouldn’t say that Aliens is better than Alien

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Look at the past couple of months at RLM, do you think that they will do anything special for the 100th episode? I bet they have Max Landis back for an hour long monologue this time, except Mike will just get plastered and puke everywhere

  • tOmy`

    You shouldn’t so I won’t.

    But yea.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    What you just said was wrong

  • bassbait

    Some people say it is better than the original. Needless to say, the best film in the series is obviously Prometheiens 3: Resurrection.

  • bassbait

    How so?

  • tOmy`

    Unfortunately, this is your life.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I don’t hate Max Landis. I just happened to know that term since I contract 3D animation.
    Max seems like an ok guy, I don’t know if he would like to have a few beers and get down to the nitty-gritty with me because I don’t sugar coat my opinions, I give compliments as well but my criticisms can weigh a little heavy.
    Max seems to take himself too seriously and probably is a very harsh critic on himself deep down, that makes for a good dose of neuroticism, I would know..

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    At the very least it’s an Apples Oranges thing. I love them both, but Alien is in a class by itself.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I will let you ponder it for a while

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Are you a “New Guinea”

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    That’s just a fallback….

  • bassbait

    I have to watch them both again. Alien put me to sleep last time. This is a running theme… movies put me to sleep. I can’t figure out why.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I go through that. Easy fix is a cup of Hot Chocolate or Coffee before the sleep inducing videos.
    Last Time I watched Aliens I fell asleep, just a tired old man anymore..

  • bassbait

    I’d assume you’re referring to my Rihanna comment, and I stand by it. She’s a talented singer. She has a nice voice and she uses it to good effect in several songs, including “All of the Lights” and “Take Care”, which are two of the best pop songs of the past decade. I don’t think her music is always great, and honestly I don’t like any of her songs that much besides the stuff she gets featured in by other musicians, but that doesn’t mean she’s not a talented singer. If you want to know an untalented pop singer, look at Kesha or Katy Perry. Or Future, that guy’s like a whole new level of bad singing.

  • LameSame

    The Void… DEAR GOD, THE VOID!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    A Frankenstein’s monster of every thing wrong in this world
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhM1rDTwvY8

  • Snake Squeezer

    The De Niro / Branagh Frankenstein was pretty good. I also like both of the characters on Penny Dreadful a lot. In fact, Rory Kinnear’s performance of the monster is by far my favoirite. Really touching and pretty much makes everyone’s else performance look weak.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Intensely Predictable

  • Snake Squeezer

    Idiotically Pathetic

  • Like Icare

    Wrong?
    That makes my worst failures seem like glorious triumphs of victory and a cause for jubilant celebration.

  • Like Icare

    Looks more like a carpenter there to me.

  • Palpatine

    Gross.

  • LameSame

    She needs to wash her hair. And also get plugs or something. That male pattern baldness did not transition well.

    Anyway– yeah, woah. That sure was a demoralizing video.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Instant Pandering

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s a he.

  • Like Icare

    Well… winter is coming and all that…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Branagh one in terms of story I didn’t like, it felt very forced to get to the parts of the story we love. But it was very well directed and I really like the tone of it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Incest Porn

  • Palpatine

    Wait, Frankenstein is the name of the doctor?! Duh, eye never new dat!

  • Like Icare

    Something-something New Orleans.
    Get into some of that rebuilding the reputation action.

  • Like Icare

    And it will have purple lining.

  • Like Icare

    It would be great.

  • Like Icare

    They call it the “Day of Infamy”.
    When those humies committed unjust aggression of their peaceful envoy ship and murdered millions of civilian tourists.

  • Like Icare

    How bout the Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster?
    It has Martians, girls in bikinis and Vespas in it.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Insanely Pedantic

  • Noah R.

    Saw that earlier and I had to look twice because I thought I recognized that face!

  • Noah R.

    Don’t jinx it!

  • LameSame

    I did some lurking and it seems she identifies as a woman (in her profile picture, she has long hair, a woman’s top, and is taking a mirror-selfie). Though I’m personally in support of one’s right to do so, I’m not gonna get up in arms against anyone who disagrees.

    We might as well get used to saying it anyway. It’s going to be a societal norm in the impending future. We don’t want to be seen as bigots in the future, right? That would make us no better than those dirty, rat-fink Jews.

  • NERD!

  • tOmy`

    Here is a sentence that I thought I will never use on the internet:

    (I assume this is borderline NSFW / absolutely inappropriate without the context [that I am gonna mention] / utterly wrong / flirting with banhammer – I therefore urge anyone who right now feels like they should stop reading, please do so.)

    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    I just had a small hysterical laugh about a dead baby fetus.

    #AsBroughtToYouByNymphomaniacVol.2

  • tOmy`

    Well, I assume the dots didn’t do their job, so I apologize.

  • Palpatine

    That’s hilarious awful.

  • bassbait

    people jump to conclusions very fast in internet discussions.

  • tOmy`

    I am not sure whether the movie just finally broke me at that moment or it was indeed so much of an overkill.

    But hey. Clap clap I guess.

  • I’ve said worse things.

  • bassbait

    I was born making dead baby jokes.

  • Palpatine

    At least you don’t have the Fun in Balloon Land opening song stuck in your head.

  • RLMkeepitup

    its harder to decipher text without tone, body language, and bodily functions

  • You mean you were a stillborn child?

  • Palpatine

    We’re havin’ fun in Balloon Land/Down in cow jumpin’ over the Moon land/Look at that float ain’t it ducky/Hey kids now aren’t we lucky/ Elephants trunks are a waggin’/High over the little red wagon/Marryin’ Turkey is sighin’/Even ol’ Mr. Walrus is cryin’/Wise Mr. Owl sits there singing/Piggy-Wig stands with a ring in his nose/If you want to have some fun/Join the gang come on let’s run/Right through Balloon Land/We said Balloon Land/Down in Balloon Land/U.S.A.

  • bassbait

    I was born suffocating actually. And my life’s the joke. *fade to black… gunshot*

  • Grandma

    Are you saying that because you think we’re all racists?

  • Upvoted for depression.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    No I dont. How dare you!

  • bassbait

    what better reason to upvote?

  • Free drugs!

  • The growing number of elderly women on this intertubestation confuses me.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Only in real life, right?

  • tOmy`

    So I just witnessed the Director’s cut of Nymphomaniac Vol.1 & Vol.2 in one sitting. I would like to think that I made better choices during my life.

    I have to ask, tho: What exactly has to happen in one’s life that he decides that making a movie like this is a good idea? No, really. I mean I saw a lot of fucked up shit in my life, but fucking hell, this is intentionally crafted to be an intellectual 5 hours (and a change) of the mainstream cinema. Someone had to say: “But… but people, as in human beings, are gonna watch this, man.”

    Since I avoided a lot of hype and reviews around the movie when it was brand new, I went into it knowing only that it received mixed reviews at best and it is sorta controversial. Well, yea, it “sorta” is.

    While I absolutely loved the first volume, the second one is where I finally got what is coming. No, it’s not a drama with hardcore porn in it. It’s a massive curveball that somehow hits you right in the face anyway.

    Since this comment section had problems with colors few days back, I simply cannot bring myself to discussing all that transpired, but I would like to say that if you like movies, you should see this. It deserves, no, it needs to be dissected almost scene by scene in a mad attempt to comprehend the… world. I am not sure whether I loved it, hated it or needed this movie, so for me, it is between 5/10 and 10/10.

  • Popo Bawa

    “Must be hard to listen to music then.”

    No, quite the opposite. I find that needing to sing detracts from music. Although I agree that the voice can be an amazing instrument. It’s just that most bands IMO don’t have anything interesting to say. I’d rather check out their structures than their emotions.

    “It’s like a silent film, it’s cool for what it is, but the best silent films will *never* beat the best films with dialogue.”

    Oh no… then you’ll probably hate by peeve about film. I prefer films that don’t have people in them at all. I prefer to see a story told entirely in images, not a filmed play of people talking. But I do agree that they need not be silent.

  • Please reconnect your Wi-Fi.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Was what was coming a penis?

  • tOmy`

    Funny you should ask: The porn was least of its shock value.

  • bassbait

    My favorite film is 2001: A Space Odyssey. I love visual storytelling, and most of my favorite film-makers use visuals to their advantage. But the menace of Hal9000 would not be possible without the voice and the dialogue. Namely lines like “it can only be attributable to human error”.

    If you think that most bands don’t have anything interesting to say, then it really depends on what you’re looking to hear. My favorite band right now is a band that says every last thing that runs through my mind, by total coincidence. When dealing with panic attacks, paranoia, depression, anxiety, wanting to die, etc, I can connect to that band more than I can any other work of art. And that is a frequent problem for myself. Conversely, Buckethead is an instrumental musician and has struck me profoundly with his guitar work alone. I just tend not to listen to instrumental music as much because the voice is by far the most intriguing instrument because it has the most possibilities of sounds. Another lyricist I really love is Tool. The singer of Tool’s lyrics resonate with me hard, especially the song “Vicarious”, which is actually far more clever than people might realize upon first listen.

    It’s fine to see things that way but as a composer, multi-instrumentalist, and vocalist, I’ve learned over years of writing and performing that the voice is probably the most powerful instrument for music, and I tire of music that loses power by refusing to allow vocals.

  • quick_moranis

    Rihanna’s just as untalented as the others you mentioned. And her voices is even more annoying and too nasally. She’s ruined multiple Eminem songs over the past 4 or so years, which is hard to do because Eminem’s been ruining the majority of his own songs for the past 12 years.

  • quick_moranis

    Loved Creed, not perfect, but super effective where it needed to be. The worst part was the generic love interest storyline.

  • Snake Squeezer

    So there were no penises coming? Because I just saw the Charles Shits movie about penises, and I never thought I would say this, but I love penis.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Is there an echo in here?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    The ‘ř’ word?

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    When Antichrist ended I felt physically sick to my stomach. And yes, I also asked myself why the hell someone thought a movie about an insane woman becoming violently sadistic had to be made. Though I will say the second half had some of the best horror/thriller sequences I’ve seen in any movie. I don’t know if I could stomach Nymphomaniac. Disgust me once, shame on you…

  • WrongWithYourFace

    My phone’s not smart but it has fucking Monopoly in it! Yeah! That’s right! Who wants to play some 4-player Monopoly on a 2 inch screen?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yeah, otherwise he might insist on coming back.

  • tOmy`

    Antichrist is a walk in a Sunday park in comparison to this, especially because Nymphomaniac raises very important, downright appalling issues… and still makes a way to make it somehow worse.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    It’s basically a German double ‘s’. The word “street”, “straße” is more or less pronounced “strasse”.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    I’ve been feeling burned out on movies, so if it’s unique and shocking then it might spark my interest again.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Is there an echo in here?

  • quick_moranis

    If you’re hearing text you might want to see someone about that.

  • tOmy`

    Well, I didn’t know much about the movie except the cast, director and what is it supposed to be about.

    I wasn’t exactly prepared tho. But yea, it is worth seeing and it should be an important movie.

  • Commander X

    I came across this recent video recently and have been trying to sort out my feelings about it. I mean, I just don’t. I don’t know.

    Cruel Schlock Thesis
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xH6ilpvm72A

  • tOmy`

    The idea behind the movie itself is glorious. It does fall apart pacing-wise in the second half tho.

    But the idea / main concept stand strong till the very end.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    So you’re saying he got the pacing wrong in his 5 hour long movie?

  • tOmy`

    Well, 5:18 is a runtime of Director’s cut edition of (basically) two movies, so it’s not a big issue.

    But the second part is generally suffering from problems, especially since it is trying to be so hardcore it goes off the rails to punch you in a dick every 10 minutes. I assume that was the idea and it was intentional, but I am not sure whether it worked out that well.

  • tOmy`

    All hail the mighty Whiplash!

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Thanks for the heads up. My intellectual jockstrap is ready.

  • tOmy`

    Let me know when (and if) you finish it. As I said, no matter what people think of this movie, I think it deserves to be discussed.

  • tOmy`

    [spoilers]

    There is a (at least) minute long montage of dick pics. And a lot of other penises. Like right in your face.

  • tOmy`

    Ok, so I read couple of reviews on the IMDB and it seems like I am just a douche hipster who likes anal sex, because this movie is just a boring pretentious porn.

    Nevermind me then, folks! My bad!

  • infernocanuck

    How… How are oldschool zombie movies religious? Are we talking Romero? Because I think the only religious mentioning was that lovely adage of “When Hell is full of sinners, the dead walk the earth” line.

    Or are you talking super old school. White Zombie, with the voodoo and shit?

  • Buk Pravon

    Thanks for your reply. First I want to tell you, that I really enjoy reading your long responses. They are very insightful. 😀 I felt to tired and confused to answer to it 14 hours ago, so I will try to do so now.

    I started studying culture sciences and art this semester and the question of how and why storytelling in media for children is necessary at all is one of my personal focuses during the following years to come. It catched my interest some years ago because I think it is a very important subject in modern societies… and in ancient societies as well of course… but especially with the modern media channels nowadays, which affect our lifes almost 24/7. So this topic falls fully in my future research area. 🙂 Although, I just started it and haven’t much insight in it till now… especially in the psychological aspects of it. -.-

    What you are saying (please correct me, if I get it wrong) is basically two things:

    1. Storytelling for children is very important, to teach them things about life and how to deal with parts of themself, which disturbs them for several reasons.

    and

    2. The stories conveyed to children have to be adjusted to the state of mental development of them (and some of the stories chosen for this task in the educational canon aren’t all that well chosen or fail to ignite the interest of the kids).

    My point by claiming “Shows/movies for children aren’t necessary” was (besides provoking reactions as yours to pull a discussion) that most of the shows and movies I know don’t achieve the goal of pushing the psychological development of children fully or even don’t try to do so in the first place, but instead want to sell them merchandise and products through entertainment… which is mostly incarnated in form of slapstick humor, bright and soft colors and sillyness, because kids react to this thinks in an almost pavlovian way.

    The main goal of the companies who make those shows and movies (Disney is the biggest of them, I presume -.-) is to distract the kids and to glue them to their franchises, so they spent their and/or their parents money on it.

    Conditioning and manipulation is all I can see anymore in things like: “The good Dinosaur”, “Finding Dory”, “Zootopia” (which, btw., looks awfully cute… but seems to have any to zero a) humor that isn’t based on slapstick or cuteness and b) story that is creative and new and worth to be told as well) and “Big Hero 6”. It ain’t good stories which teach you good lessons anymore. “Beat the dragon”… yes. Maybe that’s still in there. But how often do kids have to learn one and the same thing again and again? At what point is this simple premise becoming a vehicle to just marketing toys and crap to children so that they can replay the same story with some electronic powered piece of plastic in their hands? Very soon, I guess… about 100 years ago, maybe. :/

    I really think, that there is way more to storytelling, especially to kids, than just the “good-vs-evil —> good wins at the end”-scheme. But I also think you see it the same way. 🙂

    I just wanted to explain by saying all this, that, by claiming “noone needs kidsmovies”, I meant to say: We don’t need the kidsmovies the entertainment industry is giving us by massproduction and repeating old, once proven to be successful, storylines over and over again ad nauseam.

    Possibly we think alike in this regard. 😉

  • LukasH

    Wow, so, even some mainstream reviewers basically think that Landis fucked this up. Can we get a little perspective here? Even if this was a tiny indie movie, Landis is a screenwriter (he directed a movie as well, but not this one). The movie goes through so much more creative (or “creative”) decisions and input that putting the blame solely on his shoulders is rather ridiculous. I know, I know, he has a haircut that people don’t like.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    you’re crazy. nympho is a cartoon compared to antichrist.

  • bleurgh

    Antichrist was the only Von Trier movie I liked and could make it through.

  • LukasH

    You’d know if you watched dumb videogame related stuff, it means Intellectual Property.

  • bleurgh

    It’s the one that is closest in story to the original novel. The original novel isn’t that great story-wise, but the characters are really well drawn and the ending, where the monster chases Victor half-way around the world to the Antarctic just to murder him on the permafrost, in vengeance for it’s own unjustified creation. That’s killer. It’s a shame that almost no Frankenstein movies do justice to the books ending.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I thought this movie was dumb and Lars was phoning it in or rather “having fun” as opposed to making something good. Pointless references/callbacks to his previous films,casting actors like Christian Slater or Shia Labeef and letting them ham it up,the ending that is one giant middle finger to the audience,cheap shock value scenes,pointless 5hour length and so on…

  • LukasH

    Don’t you dare say anything bad about Christian Slater. A) Mr. Robot, B) Alone in the Dark.

    Nuff said.

  • Strelnikov

    Not even Zentropa (aka Europa)?

  • LukasH

    I actually like when Trier just goes full on “F You audience”, which is why I liked Idiots. But I don’t think I can stomach it anymore, I think I’ve seen all he wanted to say.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Saw neither of them. But hey there’s nothing wrong with chewing scenery. Except that maybe it should not be done in a artsy farsy movie that wants to be taken seriously.

  • Strelnikov

    I hated The Idiots because his characters were just dicking over each other out of Scandinavian boredom, and Von Trier was using that to fuck with us, the audience. I would rather watch Titicut Follies a second time than watch The Idiots again, even stumbling on it while channel-flipping.

  • bassbait

    The Shining begs to differ.

  • LukasH

    Oh man, don’t even

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Ok you got me there.

  • Domo

    Let’s take looks and background out of the equation. In looking at other reviews for Landis’ film, more people in the comments are talking about Landis than the actors or director, even to a certain extent the story he wanted to tell.

    He’s turning himself into a celebrity, into his own worst nightmare, posting criticisms and laying blame, bringing all the attention to himself, and expecting no backlash in return.

    Does he deserve total blame? Of course not. When you have a whole crew of people working on a film, and the screenwriter is the one making the most noise, though, he’s going to be the one that gets targeted the hardest. And to a certain extent, it’s entirely his own doing.

  • LukasH

    David Lynch? David Lynch.

    Penis

  • Thanatos2k

    Who was to blame? As Plinkett says “Pretty much everyone involved with the production”

  • Thanatos2k

    Could be worse.

    “Tune in next week to see Animated Plinkett on top of the page.”

  • Thanatos2k

    “Maybe Hollywood needs to combine story-behind-the-story movies, monster
    films, and blaxploitation films into one film just to get all their
    rehashed material onto one screen, while meeting diversity quotas at the
    same time.”

    Already happening:
    http://www.nbc.com/the-wiz-live

  • LukasH

    Does the fact that he is far from low profile negate the need for perspective when you are reviewing a film, a collaborative work?

  • LukasH

    Btw, I always forget about this one or think it’s the Julie Delpy one.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    A writer is just throwing ideas down the mountain. If the thousands of people there to catch the shit dont stop it and it makes an avalanche of shit….?
    Thats not the writers fault.

  • LukasH

    I agree with Domo that he is the magnet, because he puts himself out there, but then don’t use ad hominem when trying to criticize art.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    HEATHERS! AND PUMP UP THE VOLUME!!!!
    you just made an enemy……
    *Scairy Music.

  • LukasH

    The Name of the Rose…..?

  • bleurgh

    I remember there being about four different levels of framing devices in the novel. It’s really, not a masterpiece.

  • Thanatos2k

    HYPERLINK TO RAP GENIUS is far, far better

  • Red Skeleton

    I miss animated Plinkett 🙁

  • Thanatos2k

    One wonders if the wrappings are the only difference between a mummy and a zombie

  • Domo

    Some perspective is fine. If you’re putting yourself out there like he is, without much of a filter, and you make the film/collab more about yourself than what you’re creating, then that’s his own fault. Twitter isn’t a safe space. The Internet isn’t a safe space.

    If I decided, right now, to say Batman Begins is the best damn Batman film ever and everyone who disagrees is a moron, and don’t you dare criticize me because you’re an outsider who doesn’t understand Batman, I’m gonna take that hit. Or I could just keep my mouth shut. That’s my choice.

  • Thanatos2k

    The next “direct to dumpster” genre?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You art forgiven my son.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    A shit magnet?

  • bleurgh
  • LukasH

    A shitnet if you will

  • Thanatos2k

    …Scott and Susan

  • Domo

    What if the snowball was a pile of shit to begin with?

    Even if something like the Prequels had a great director, the story is still shit because of the writer. The writer is not always blameless.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Because it was the most creativeist and originalist?

  • Domo

    Stop using your -ists on me!

    I’m going to my padded cell to talk to my imaginary friends. Leave me alone!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    We are gonna’ need a bigger shit boat.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You Imaginist.

  • Domo

    Unless it’s a floater. Then just a log or 2 will do just fine.

  • Strelnikov

    They changed the name to avoid being confused with Europa, Europa (1990) because Trier’s movie was coming out around the same time. (Europa,Europa is the biopic of Solomon Perel, a German Jew who through the most bizarre series of events possible winds up in the Hitler Youth during the war.)

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    You just reminded me of one of the most horrifically hysterical things I have ever seen.
    Floaters can chase you.

  • Strelnikov

    Bela Tarr’s Satantango made me feel as bad, but those characters were living in late-era Communist Hungary, so there was an alienation device that kept it from being utterly defeating. The people in The Idiots have all these advantages and they piss them away.

  • Domo

    They have a mind of their own!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    The writer is one of the lowest forms of life in Hollywould. they generally have no power if they aren’t producing or directing.
    The point of the catchers is to catch the Shitball.
    Otherwise the Shitbatter will sneak first.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    The human in question kept swimming faster to escape causing the vortex of water to bring it closer.
    In between hysterical laughter I shouted helpful suggestions like “DIVE! DIVE!” and “Stop, its attracted to movement!”

  • LukasH

    But you (to my knowledge) are not responsible for writing Batman Begins, Mrs. Nolan. Domo, I admire that you always jump up to tell me how exactly I am being an asshole, but I don’t think you get that I amaiming at the other assholes, not the people who actually think before they write something.

  • tOmy`

    Definitely had a bigger impact on me.

  • Domo

    But with something like American Ultra, Landis said 85% of his script was there on the screen. I think it was 85%. If I as a movie viewer care about the story, the dialogue, how characters are portrayed, then the screenwriter is more important to me than anyone, especially if his screenplay is predominantly intact. Hollywood’s value of a screenwriter makes no difference to me.

    The problem, for me, is when higher ups take a great idea or script, and just meddle to the point where it’s crap. I don’t think Landis is in that camp, at least not all the time.

    Like I remember Sully talking about his screenwriting experiences, and saying how he finds his writing in multiple films without his consent, entire scripts re-written to death so he gets no credit. His name has never appeared on screen. I could see him taking little blame. Someone like Landis, though? Maybe not so much.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Harry, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don’t plan it. Don’t wait for it. Just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men’s store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot black coffee.

  • I didn’t get the story in Anti-Christ. I guess it was supposed to be a study of how society and history blames women for evil? And how she felt guilty for the loss of that child. That penis nailed to the ground made me feel pain. My female friend felt the same when they showed the vagina cutting scene. Bleh.

  • tOmy`

    As I said down below, pretentious hipster who just loves anal sex!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I was more refering to Tom comparing the visceral factor of the movies. For me the atmosphere of Antichrist alone is nightmare fuel…because it does feel like actual nightmares I’ve had.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I’m actually a kinda/sorta Von Trier fan. So I’m disappointed I coudn’t like Nympo as much as his previous works. When it comes to his “depression trilogy” it’s nowhere near Antichirst/Melancholia for me.

  • Domo

    Should I watch AntiChrist or Melancholia? If I had to choose, which would you prefer me watching?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I miss Sully.
    But in defence of script writers.
    I once wrote a joke in a script. I was ecstatically happy with it and though I was a fucking genius for coming up with it…
    Then for the first time in years I saw the movie I first saw it in.
    Mesa felt like I steppeded in da Poodo.

  • Domo

    Stop stepping in the icky icky goo!

    Who knew talking about Landis would bring up so many good poop jokes?!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Yes! thats 2-1
    A ceramic bong penis.
    Penis?

  • tOmy`

    I think me liking / being shocked comes from the fact that the limited stuff I heard about Nympho was exactly what that movie wasn’t (at least for me).

    As in: pretentious anal porn.

    So let’s count that towards my bias. Also Charlotte. Now she ain’t no great actress but when it comes to me, she can play in any movie and I shall call for Oscars.

    Now as I said, I might have given it much more thought than it deserved, but fuck it, I loved it and hated it for what it was.

  • Domo

    You’re not an asshole, though. I just thought you should know that.

    You’re package will be in the mail by the end of the week.
    It probably won’t include a penis, but it might contain a good poop joke, instead.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I was starting to feel bad about all the shit I was smearing on this post.
    *SPLINTERS!

  • Domo

    *butt fuck it.

    Take that, hipsters! Muahahaha!

  • Domo

    Did you eat a lot of Skittles beforehand? At least the shit should be colorful!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Taste the Rainbow.

  • Domo

    Smear the Rainbow!

    No Andrew, No! Get your hands away from me!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I’m lausughing so histericaly that I cant type good. and I mave shat my pants.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I laughed for four minutes and had to find tissues for the tears. Thank you,

  • bassbait

    Why is it that I can only get shit done when I’m horribly sleep deprived?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s hard to say. Both films hit me like a ton of bricks but for different reasons. Antichrist is a horror movie in the same vein as something like Eraserhead-people get too wrapped up in trying to unravel what it’s trying to say rather then appreciate what it’s doing-it’s an outstanding exercise in taking a emotion/mindset/condition of the creator when he was creating it(anxiety for lynch,depression for trier)and translating it into every single aspect of a movie. I would only need the fingers of a single hand to count how many movies are able to create dread in such a primordial and tangible way. Melancholia works much more as just a straightforward drama with a simple metaphor behind it. It’s equally draining but for different reasons.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Magic?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    no, no … o o

  • Spoiled Ants

    Well if you have a writer who throws only shitballs you replace him with one that throws yellow balls.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    DONT EAT THE YELLOW SNOW!

  • This is wisdom.

  • bassbait

    As the monarch of over-analyzing David Lynch films, I take offense to this!!!

  • tOmy`

    Just wait for the Star Wars discussion.

  • bassbait

    *waves wand* expellius anus!

  • Spoiled Ants

    Mike lost it here.
    It’s one of his jokes that go nowhere really and should’ve stayed on the cutting room floor.

  • Spoiled Ants

    You deserve an Ivan Drago KnockOut, my friend.

  • bassbait

    true dat.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    pardon me?

  • Spoiled Ants

    The Martian is crap and Sicario I haven’t seen yet.

    There.

    I think everyone can go to bed now.

  • bassbait

    I was just joking. I tend to talk a lot about what David Lynch’s films mean. I think Lynch was going for emotional realism but I also think that most of what he does is symbolic of his thoughts/feelings or of a story of some kind, and so I tend to try to piece together the symbolism with the mood when I talk about his films. I think Kubrick once said that Lynch is a director who starts with an idea, a message/theme/emotion, and films around that idea, and Kubrick admired that about him.

  • Spoiled Ants

    If Mad Max is one stretched out chase scene.

    Rocky IV is kinda one long MTV music video to me, something Daft Punk failed to achive.

  • tOmy`

    That’s a common misconception.

    Lynch likes forests. End of story. Everything else is just a gravy.

  • Spoiled Ants
  • bassbait

    my favorite forest of Lynch’s was in Lost Highway.

  • Spoiled Ants

    This rather looks like “StepUp – Ver 17.2.Rocky”

  • LukasH

    Now I am in two minds about it. And they are both dirty.

  • Spoiled Ants

    I was an extra on Rocky IV as well. I was the towel.
    They dropped my scene.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Right I totally get you. For me the comparasion between how people approach Antichist reminded me of Lynch because I feel like people lose that raw power of it when they preoccupy themselfs with “figuring it out” on first viewing. I remember the first time I watched Mullholand Dr. I didn’t grasped alot of things about it but the Club Silencio scene still reduced me to near tears and the ending was like a jaw dropping moment. You gotta let it wash over you.

  • tOmy`

    Inland Empire is the prime example of that, at least for me.

    It’s just an emotional rollercoaster and despite not having a clue about what is exactly happening on the screen, the ending felt like such a relief; a moment of pure joy.

    But maybe just because it was finally over.

  • Spoiled Ants

    It’s 3 weeks too early, to be spewing hate. Buy yer son a gift: may I suggest a robotic hand.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Damn straight! Inland Empire works as a horror movie first and foremost. Go dig for symbolism after you shat your pants.

  • Spoiled Ants

    I thought the Fantastic Four was a Frankenstein movie.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    You’ve sent him a colostomy bag? Nice!

  • bassbait

    I’m not gonna lie… I kinda just “get” every Lynch movie first time through. Every time I come out of a Lynch movie (of the surreal variety), I’m not so much trying to figure out what it means, as much as I already know what it means but I’m just trying to explain it in terms that other people can understand. So when I watch movies like Eraserhead, Mulholland Drive, etc, the first thing I get from the film (first viewing) is the theme/message and especially the mood. On repeat viewings I start naturally piecing together a more detailed understanding of what’s actually going on based on tying it to the themes as I understood them.

  • Spoiled Ants

    When they finished burying Max under the basement.

  • bassbait

    The only thing I remember gathering from the first viewing of that film is that it has to do with the blurring of the line between an actress and a role, how hollywood and the film-making and acting process can distort your view of reality until you no longer remember whether what you’re doing is for the film or taking place in actual life. The best moment of that film was after a really dramatic scene, the camera pans back to reveal that it was just the movie within a movie being filmed. After being lost in the mix of the film for so long as a viewer, that revelation comes as a mind-blowing moment and a slap right back into reality. It feels exactly for us as it would feel for her – remembering that this performance isn’t real, it’s just a performance, and not knowing how to make sense of things afterwards. After a particularly powerful movie, or even an album, sometimes it’s hard to come out of it and adjust back to normal life because you got so swept up in art. Inland Empire is one of the best films at doing that and it does it through pure, unrelenting surrealism. Along with most of Lynch’s weirder works, it’s a masterpiece.

  • tOmy`

    You had me at rabbit people.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    If your waving your wand, try Analass.

  • bassbait

    have you ever tried to watch Rabbits shorts? That shit’s hard to sit through. Dumbland on the other hand…

  • tOmy`

    Yes, it was 85% of his script. I went back and rewatch it just to prove you all wrong.

    But then I got tired and cold.

  • Domo

    Well, you’ll love this, then!

    https://youtu.be/kOvwc8_QXiY?t=1m10s

    Let the rabbits wear glasses! Can I get an Amen?

    Baaaah. Baaah.

    Can I get a Hallelujah?

    Mooo.

  • Domo

    What if you say the spell wrong?

    Damn, magic is fucking terrifying.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Shit man I live in Australia and I buy all my winter clothes from former Soviet Republics….
    My fave is a massive Romanian Overcoat that is so big two people fit inside it….
    Think About it….

  • dollar store cashier wife

    They’re not the most complicated movies ever to be blunt but I think it also depends on what you consider “the meaning” of the works in question. For some people it’s merely the moral of the story while for others it’s about identifying and finding commentary on 20 different themes within a piece you know?

  • bassbait

    when you boil his movies down they’re very simple, but it’s the execution, and how the execution helps service the meaning that makes him one of the best living film-makers.

  • tOmy`

    “Pardon me?”

    Well guess who is the Mr. Sunshine in the morning. Attitude or gtfo.

  • LukasH

    “Wingadium…uh, levitatate? Great, now my dick flew off”

  • LukasH

    Love that song.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    When I am king, you will be first against the wall

  • Marvin Falz

    Mannequin Skywalker

  • Marvin Falz

    “Bring the prisoners to Ass Four”

    “Roger, roger.”

  • tOmy`

    I am glad we are back on topic.

    Yes, I absolutely agree that their review for Meet Your Makers was most likely payed by FOX. If you go back to the previous video, you might actually catch them dropping a ball and accidentally revealing that they got paid in a brick of gold.

    It’s a little slip, but it’s there.

    I think the integrity of this show was seriously compromised and I think I can’t see them as the men they once were for me. Strong, bearded, sexual beings who have one hand on a bottle and the second yields sword, fighting back the big bad wolf of corporate studio industry.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    SEE! you do have that bit of the brain that thinks of songs as comments!

    https://youtu.be/TLIppgE45wM

  • Marvin Falz

    Exactly what I was saying. Thank you for your confirmation.

  • tOmy`

    And people were laughing at my “futile” attempts at turning this webzonedotcom into a music review site.

  • tOmy`

    Woah, woah, careful with that attitude!

  • tOmy`

    Only if you use it for good.

    If you use it for evil, you are the one who is terrifying. Oldest trick in the book, really.

  • tOmy`

    That beats socks in the classic game of “guess what kinda shit did I get for Christmas this year…”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Marvin Falz

    Then no thanks to you.

  • Domo

    Do you think the peeling wallpaper in the background is a subtle reference to the crumbling facade that is their mental state?

    What are the mauve wallpaper flowers trying to tell me? Why is one getting stabbed by a dull kitchen knife? I must know!

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Oh. That makes sense. Thanks.
    But. As if Max Landis owns any property like that.

    #Ooh,Max-ShamingIsBullying!

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    That’ll work!

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    So, now I know and in a way, I’ve been complimented for not knowing.

    Thanks.

    It’s gonna be a great day!

  • Like Icare

    It IS glorious, but this one stole my heart. It can be applied everything in life.
    Just imagine all the multiple choice test ever done that could have been solved with that line… poetry.

  • Spoiled Ants

    James Franco is destined to play that role.
    His existence would make sense, at last.

  • bassbait

    I’ve spent so much time in front of my computer working on shit that now my ass has turned into a mashed potato, and my brain has turned into a…….. mashed potato. But I’m finally done and can sleep.

  • LukasH

    It is really needed.

  • Spoiled Ants

    Like in batshit-serious?

  • LukasH

    Hey, I like socks. They’re soft, friendly and understanding.

  • LukasH

    Make it so

  • Marvin Falz

    I feel trapped inside my imagination. The mauve wallpaper is a dream I can’t get out of. The kitchen knife is a tool one uses in everyday reality. The knife might seem like the bad guy, but all it does is trying to get me out of the trap which is my dream.

    I fear, I won’t survive the situation.

  • Marvin Falz

    cue ‘dies irae’

  • Like Icare

    Correction.

    He doesn’t deserve the total QUALITY of the blame.
    Quantity on the other hand…
    Well… Running around a schoolyard in the middle of a snowball fight, yelling “Look at me! Look at me!” – one kinda deserves every single one of those snowballs to the head.

    Particularly if one is also yelling “My work was perfect. Everyone else fucked up. I hate the studio system. I will never leave it though.”

    Someone else should have shared in that blame he’s getting, but he is putting himself out there as a magnet by appearing hypocritical and by making himself available.

  • Spoiled Ants

    Stallone! Stop fooling around and adapt my script I send to you every month.
    “John Metal Gear Rambo 3 – Attack of the Cobras”.

  • Like Icare
  • Marvin Falz

    Max Landis seems to receive more attention than his movies. He should become an actor or a diva.

  • Like Icare

    “…or a diva.”

    Should become?

  • Marvin Falz

    True.

  • Marvin Falz

    It would have been more apt to title the video “Near-monologue of Max Landis.”

  • Welcome to my world, assbait.

  • Wingardium Leviosawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhrrrrrrrrrrrrr! *hums Harry Potter theme*

  • Your worm’s stamina has seen better days, Ron!

  • I drew a line,

    I drew a line for you,

    Oh what a thing to do,

    And it was all yellow.

  • Bubs

    I pretty much always place blame squarely on the director. Even with producer meddling, the director is the one driving the bus. A shitty script can be turned around by a competent director. A low budget film can look like a high budget film when the budget is used appropriately by that same competent director. The director can fight to NOT have Jessie Eisenberg as the lead in his secret agent film, because he knows it’s the wrong casting choice.

    A good director can frame a terribly written scene so that even the dialogue sounds better. I agree with Landis when he says “I hate sand…” could be a good line. Get some dynamic camera angles, maybe a close-up shot on Anakin’s face where we see the pain in his eyes, and we get the hint that maybe he’s not really talking about sand at all. The director is there to throw all the garbage away and hone the rest into a fine point. In screen-writing terms, this point is called: a movie.

  • Bubs

    Just when I think you hacks can’t get anymore fraudulent, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourselves sell out. Oh…

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I can now say that I’ve watched every Season of The Grabowskis. My friend was like, “Mitch, what is this? Why are you watching it?” I told him that I just had to. I needed to experience it.

    “There’s good times and there’s bad times but mostly bad.”

  • Bubs

    Did you go to the Jim Lahey school of screen writing?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5R8At-Qno_o

  • RLMkeepitup

    whoa here he comes, he’s a snakeeater!

  • Red Skeleton

    Ass Four? What’s an Ass Four!?

  • Marvin Falz

    Originally it was a pun based on “as for”. But in this case, I had Star Wars in my mind and Ass Four was the result. I leave the interpretation to the imagination of the reader.

  • Bubs

    It’s for pooping, silly.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    And I thought you were the most loyal of fans! How have you not seen The Grabowskis??

  • WrongWithYourFace

    And Asses 1-3?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Wingadium Levi-tatas. Farewell, pushup bra!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    If I was a wizard, I’d have all the spells be horribly similar to each other.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    But… he was talking about sand.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Shitnet is what we’re using right now.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    With a little bit of modification, I feel this graph could be applied to this webzone.

  • fred

    The Police Academy Ratio works with sequels but what about cinematic universes?

  • tOmy`

    Since I finished my comics books movie marathon, I have to say that they don’t suffer from that problem.

    The quality and ideas are still here, so it will make money no matter what. Hundred bucks say that it’s making money already – I am pretty sure that someone is already selling Team Cap and Team Tony t-shirts in advance to Civil War. In bulk.

  • fred

    It just expands forever?

  • Palpatine

    Forever. And ever. And ever.

  • Palpatine

    Marvel shill!

  • fred

    There are neat ideas here and there, but nothing too weird for a global audience. The Punisher will be more like a super hero and less like a crazy middle-aged veteran with a t-shirt and guns.

  • tOmy`

    Why not? You see, for the PA ratio to work, you need to have diminishing profits – but they are making 50 movies a year, selling toys and god knows what.

    It ain’t one same movie over and over again. Per 5 years. This is a constant stream of product – it’s just like deodorant. People won’t stop buying it till someone else comes up with something new. But so far, this seems like the “final frontier”.

  • tOmy`

    No matter what movie (speaking of Marvel here), it will make some money back. Fuck ideas, fuck if it’s Wonder Bewbs. People will pay to see it. And if one of these 5 movies a year fails, there are still 4 that can pay for it from portion of their profits.

    The worst case scenario? They ask RDJ if he can take less than 8000 gazillions per Iron Man movie, just 4000 gazillions this time, because they need to boost the “economy” of the other 4 movies. They have a bottom line that is not just bottom line of one movie. It is a bottom line of a whole year (or maybe fiscal year, “phase” or whatever).

  • Palpatine

    At least they do different things each movie, which I doubt the upcoming Star Wars Cinematic Universe will do. Each movie will be good guys vs. bad guys. IN SPAAAAAAAACEEEE!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Max Landis once joked “There’s only so many times people will see Thor 2” Cinematic universes are here to stay because they’re the movie equivalent of Applebee’s.

  • tOmy`

    Well, seeing that the two “rumored” movies are Boba Fett and Vader, I assume it won’t be just the “good vs. bad” scenario – they will go for the “cool” scenario.

    I think Marvel movies are actually worse offenders in the “good vs. bad” schlock. Think about this: The most looked forward movies out of all comic world right now are Civil War (Captain punches Tony), Suicide Squad (Jared punches audience) and Batman vs. Superman (as the name implies).

    They are already breaking the “good vs. bad” pattern to make sure they are fresh enough. As boldly done in Age of Ultron.

  • Palpatine

    Maybe I don’t want Applebee’s. Maybe I want to go to that nice steakhouse across the street.

  • Domo

    Do you want an underwater city, again? Do you remember what happened last time?!

  • I don’t like things that are different.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, Thor 2 maybe. But as I said, bottom line ain’t one movie. For “them”, the bottom line is somewhere else.

    Does the whole MU pays? If it does, there is almost no need to change the formula – even though they do that, trying to spice things up just to be one step ahead. They are fixing it before it got broken.

    And if Thor doesn’t work out 2 more times? Well, let’s shove him in tandem with Black Panthering to Urban Market, who cares, put them together, give it a go. People laughed at the concept of hot dog in the pizza crust. And then USA came along.

    Bam, suddenly, the bottom line shifts. We talk about these movies as a “product” but we sometimes fail to think about them as products – it ain’t just mocking, it’s economy and marketing.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Depending on where you live you’re always gonna have that option. Frankly the american arthouse dedicated theatre’s are better then what most of europe can offer.

  • Domo

    Or there’s that nice restaurant that does deconstructed food.

    I heard they even do pizza!

    https://thefoodiecollective.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/south-beach-throwdown-56.jpg

  • Palpatine

    I have a theory that there are two types of mostly good movies out there: chain restaurant movies, and fancy restaurant movies. The chain restaurant movies, while not always the best, still keep the customer satisfied and keeps them coming back for more. The fancy restaurant movies on the other hand give the customer only the best, but because there’s probably only one in the town you live in, you don’t hear about it that much. But the stuff people do say about makes you want to try it. Just some food for thought. Get it? I said GET IT?!

  • tOmy`

    I don’t. Applebee’s is considered a war crime here.

  • tOmy`

    The more I learn about America, the more I am scared about eventually having to eat there.

  • Palpatine

    There’s plenty of non-chain restaurants here which you’ll like.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    You’re being deported? About damn time!

  • Domo

    Nothing’s worse than an international tourist going “Where’s a nice restaurant to eat at? And we don’t mean McDonalds” like we only suck down processed crap.

  • Palpatine

    And for movies from people like Adam Sandler and Michael Bay. Well, those are the equivalent of dive bars: they’re loud, obnoxious, and full of racism. Sorry hipsters who think dive bars are “kewl”.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, but being condescending to US is the new black in Europe. Well, it’s kinda the old black, but it still holds the color rather well.

    And when you read stuff like “but because there’s probably only one in the town you live in” you can’t help to take a stab at it, no matter if it was just a joke.

  • I’ll bite.

  • Palpatine

    Ba dum tss.

  • I knew you’d appreciate that.

  • Domo

    All good. If you ever come to Connecticut, call me. The polar otter and I will totally hook you up.

    Eta: I understand you’re joking, but some tourists really believe that because of commercials and whatnot.

  • Palpatine

    No, come to Philly, there’s plenty of great places to eat there.

  • Bubs

    No, come to Wyoming. You’ve never had a steak until you’ve had the cow sell it to you himself. Also, it’s fucking freezing here.

  • tOmy`

    Ok, will do, just don’t tell it to Palpy and Domo.

  • tOmy`

    Ok, will do, just don’t tell it to Bubs and Domo.

  • tOmy`

    No, I won’t.

    #SHOTSFIRED

  • Palpatine

    What are the art house theaters there like?

  • tOmy`

    One of ours is called Art.

  • tOmy`

    Something tells me that the beginning of this HitB is a setup for 99th episode about Martian and Sicario, before going TFA.

    Then again, I am an alcoholic.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    well if you listen to tomy they’re always glorious but in smaller countries that’s not always the case. It can be cozy and welcoming but it can also be so far below multiplex in terms of screen and audio quality it can be sad.

  • Vance

    Depends where exactly they are. For all the crap involved, one of the perks of Los Angeles is that you have some pretty nice indie theaters.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    nah. episode 99 will be Krampus.

  • tOmy`

    I have been told to inform you that tonight’s KIKI starts at 22:00 CET (in two hours).

    Today’s menu: Gnarls Barkley + Beardyman

    Come for the music, stay for no apparent reason. It takes place at Manhole. What is a Manhole you may ask? Well, all you need is a big mirror and surgical gloves.

  • Galactic Shawn

    I hate that Hollywood producers can’t appreciate a good baby on fire scene

  • Professor Wagstaff

    It’s painful to watch Mike and Jay bend over backwards to be polite to Max Landis and his script by sidestepping the fact that the movie didn’t work. I found it disingenuous for Mike to review the screenplay over the movie and offer up excuses for what was changed, courtesies they probably wouldn’t extend to other movies. Hack frauds. Who knew we’d have to turn to Rich Evans for integrity around here!

  • Like Icare

    People who pay for that shit should be sealed in an oil drum and fed only 10 peanuts per day until they learn to appreciate eating again.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Watch out for Rhonda’s Steakhouse, it looks like Ponderosa and is the last thing you’ll ever see.

  • Like Icare

    Naah… most of it is the old as dirt “first they fight – then they become friends” plot.

  • Like Icare

    They should just hire more pimps and pushers.

  • Marvin Falz

    I haven’t made up my mind yet. However, the George Lucas might grow strong in them. I don’t know.

  • tOmy`

    Hence: “I think Marvel movies are actually worse offenders in the “good vs. bad” schlock”

    That’s why I think they are going on the “darker” path of friends fighting friends and so on. You know, give it two movies like this and before people even realize what you just did, you can go back to the old formula and manufacture another 20 movies – and it will still seem fresh (because they fought against each other before, right?)

    It’s like a magic trick. It works only if you don’t know how it works.

    (Note: This is just my take on the marketing, economy and decision process behind the cost-profit ratio of a product. I would like to believe that there is more to this process.)

  • tOmy`

    And that’s when people like Max Landis come into play…

  • Like Icare

    Until they make him into a Batman, he’ll continue to flop.
    It’s a stupid character that doesn’t work in a kid-friendly universe.
    And in a universe where he does work – his thing is simply “kill everyone”.
    Which makes him about as entertaining as watching the news.

    Bullseye (and I’m talkin he Colin Farrell one) at least has skill.
    Punisher’s skill is “big gun goes boom”.

    At the very best, he might be used as an Easter egg character.
    “Look kids! It’s the Punisher! Say ‘Hi Punisher!’ Now say ‘Bye Punisher!'”

  • RLMkeepitup

    at the end they basically recommended skipping seeing the movie.. its interesting to hear what could have been with some movies once in a while.

  • tOmy`

    Sucking up to Max Landis is soooooo last video.

  • RLMkeepitup

    im retro for max’s metro

  • tOmy`

    *slow clap*

  • tOmy`

    While this very well may be true, there is one important thing about this: We know there is an endgame.

    Case in point: Fast & Furious franchise would get pretty dumb pretty furiously fast if there wasn’t a clear indication that at some point, we will finally get to where we want to. We knew that at one point, Tokyo has to happen within the main timeline.

    Now, sure, they can keep on crapping out new Marvel movies every two weeks, but people are into it, because they are not just a needless continuation – they are slowly closing the gap between us and what needs to happen – and we know what that is, right?

    They hit hard with Tony’s and Cap’s personalities within their latest movies, because we knew we are getting to Civil War. And there is much bigger “end-game” looming at the horizon – the infinity stones. So yea, they can do “forever and ever and ever”, but by assuring us that there is indeed a destination, it doesn’t feel so unnecessary.

  • Earth

    Amateur.

  • Like Icare

    I don’t think that they are going for anything like shuffling of the formula or trying to keep it fresh.
    They’ve been teasing the BigHUGESPACE McBATTLE since forever. That shit is set.

    And people at this point will tune in simply to see the new chapter in that story. Or phase. Or season.
    Or whatever is the name for sections of this multibillion superhero soap opera that’s been lasting most of their lives.
    At this point it’s already inertia. Actually… it’s been so since Thor.
    It’s like a TV show but for the movies.

    Marvel’s motivation for CW movie is primarily the good old cultural osmosis thing.
    Current movie going audience has heard about something called Civil War… ergo… give them something with that label.
    It won’t be anything like the comics… but who cares.

    Fuck those nerds anyway… They buy… what? Couple a thousand comics?
    Movie audience is counted in BILLIONS. And the next blockbuster season is coming up… gotta put SOMETHING out and keep them crowds munching on that corn.
    USA is not the world’s biggest exporter of corn for nothing.

    DC is more probably doing their own “who’d win in a fight” plus the good old “Everyone liked that one Frank Miller comic where Batman punches Superman with Irony Man suit.”.
    While trying to figure out how to make that whole shit work and looking for that Iron Man of their own to keep the audience coming back regardless how empty the movies in between are.
    Marvel made their “who’d win in a fight” movie with Avengers.
    Half that movie is “heroes” fighting among themselves.

    Now… when DC starts churning them out and lays out THEIR 20-year-plan, you can pretty much be certain that one or both will be among the titles – “Something-something Crisis” and/or “Something-something 52”.
    Because name recognition and cultural osmosis.

  • Earth

    Wow…as an English man, all I can say is…

    I don’t know who any of those people are.

  • Earth

    Am I only who thought the Xenomorph in Alien looked better than all the ones in Aliens?

  • Earth

    *Sniff* I miss Ommie. He woulda been all over Jay liking the Rocky and Apollo clip.

  • tOmy`

    What is a dive bar? It looks like a normal bar.

  • Bubs

    He woulda been all over Jay.*

  • Earth

    I guess we’ll just have to keep watching The Grabowskis: Season 2 to satisfy our baby-burning needs.

  • Earth

    *sob* that’s the kind of retort Ommie woulda made.

  • tOmy`

    I think they boil a baby in Space Cop, no?

  • Palpatine

    It’s like a normal bar, only shittier.

  • tOmy`

    “Dive bar is a colloquial or informal English term for a somewhat disreputable bar or pub. Such bars may also be referred to as neighborhood bars, where local residents gather to drink and socialize.” I see now.

    Yea, we have a couple of these.

  • bassbait

    ok but pretend for a second that if the director is “driving the bus”, then the screenplay writer is the person who designed the bus. If the bus is designed without brakes, the bus is fucked no matter what the director does to try to save it. Also there’s a bomb in the bus and you have to keep the bus above a certain speed otherwise it’ll explode!!!

  • Andy

    If the VHS is broken how can they watch Rhinestone?

  • Bubs

    Well that’s why it’s the drivers job to make sure the engine hasn’t been replaced with a bomb BEFORE he starts driving it. Because once you start going, well you better not fucking drop below 50 miles an hour

  • tOmy`
  • bassbait

    there’s some *great* food here. But you gotta know people from the area you’re gonna be in before you can find it.

  • bassbait

    so what you’re saying is that Dennis Hopper wasn’t the bad guy?

  • Rick Sanchez

    THE DARK SIDE OF THE FORCE!

  • bassbait

    they’re just pissed because we won the revolution… 200 years ago. Though the British Invasion was a harsh retaliation.

  • bassbait

    come to Vegas. Actually, don’t. Fuck Vegas.

  • bassbait

    nothing works with cinematic universes.

  • bassbait

    did someone say “cunt”?

  • RLMkeepitup

    call the whizard. hes an expert in the lost art of horizontal magnetic spool transfers when donor casettes are available.

  • Marvin Falz

    Because they’re Rhinestone Cowboys. Does that make sense? Yes. Just not in this universe.

  • Palpatine

    Because it’s RLM, that’s why.

  • bassbait

    I know nobody here is gonna care, because none of you are 5 years old, but do you think amiibos and shit like that were devised as a scheme to prevent piracy or some shit? Like “you keep stealing our content, so we’re gonna make content that you can’t get without buying this little figurine, so that way you have no choice but to buy our consoles, our games, *and* our little dolls!”

    The joke’s on them though, because I don’t want to play new games. Actually it sounds like the joke is on everyone.

  • Palpatine

    I guess. I don’t even know what an amiibo is.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That’s how I did.

  • bassbait

    it’s a little doll that you put on your nintendo console and then it allows you to play as a character. It’s basically DLC as a physical object. So in other words, they’re trying to make you spend more money on useless shit that *also* takes up physical space.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    When I went to watch it on this webzone Season 4 and 5 didn’t work. I blame Blip.

  • Palpatine

    Is this BotW with Max Landis that was filmed two weeks ago coming out or what?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I don’t think Nintendo has to worry about piracy considering the Wii U isn’t even hacked or at the very least the methods of how to crack your very own WiiU haven’t been published. The Amibo is simply DLC. If any other company pulled this shit they’d be lambasted. Good thing for Nintendo that the manchildren behind gaming forums and publications have such a blind spot for them they could get away with just about anything and still be praised for “innovating” or “being fun”.

  • bassbait

    well other companies did pull it. Skylanders and Disney Infinity for example. My point wasn’t so much about piracy as much as it was they’re trying to find a way to withhold shit from us so that they can charge more money for no good reason (besides that they want more money). They give you incomplete games and then make you pay more money to get the full version. That’s the vibe I get with amiibos, it’s not “extra content”, it’s getting the content that was supposed to be with the game already. I brought up piracy because I have this feeling that if people try to steal their games, then they don’t even get a full game because you still need the amiibos, and that might be part of why they exist.

  • Red Skeleton

    And occasionally, buggering.

  • Marvin Falz

    I hope the new BotW is coming out soon.

  • RLMkeepitup

    just like the DLC it makes the consumer feel like they’re not getting the full thing

  • bassbait

    do I have to pay for a full comment?

  • bassbait

    my joke made more sense before you edited.

  • Earth

    Goddammit tOmy the hype was already too much to bear.

  • RLMkeepitup

    lol ya my computer sucks today.

  • bassbait

    I heard dat. My computer just likes to freeze up in the middle of important shit, and then takes 20 minutes to turn on. Kinda like me in bed.

  • TheManHole

    They need to make sure they don’t lose money because of the marketing, building suspense and anticipation is key.

  • Domo

    And they put rocks inside its head to provide a weight to make the baby drown easier.

    They’re such good parents.

  • TheManHole

    I thought you where going to ask if it was a scam created to help the amiibo black market. Since they short ship leaving scalpers to buy them up and triple the price on ebay.

  • bassbait

    that too.

  • TheManHole

    I like how you mentioned the VHS being broken when that TV has been destroyed since Mike and Jay Smashed it to put a Ipad in in an attempt to trick Plinket into thinking the VCR was fixed. Common man you gotta stay in cannon.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Really? I mean really? Really?

  • Red Skeleton

    I think there is some merit to the piracy theory. Nintendo has a history of requiring games to make use of certain capabilities (i.e. the stylus touch screen in DS games) and Nintendo DOES have a history of being severely hurt by piracy (the Famicom Disc System in the 80’s was a disaster due to piracy).

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Rotten Tomatoes on The Host, a shitty movie:
    Poorly scripted and dramatically ineffective, The Host is mostly stale and tedious, with moments of unintentional hilarity.

  • tOmy`

    It’s like real children!

  • Palpatine

    That about sums every “so bad it’s good movie” ever made.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I don’t know. The rooftop scene in The Room was the emotional highlight of the movie.

  • tOmy`

    Just like Rotten Tomatoes review of Feeding Frenzy:

    “There’s a lot wrong with this movie, but it does manage hold some entertainment value.”

    RLM
    – There’s a lot wrong with it

  • TheManHole

    They also had a court battle against Tengen that was settled in 1989, when they used a Nintendo patent to reverse engineer Nintendo’s lockout
    chip to make unlicensed games for the NES. So Nintendo has a history with protecting it’s distribution and I.P. (Intellectual property)

  • tOmy`

    Stop sucking up to Max Landis, buddy.

  • Mr Frostback

    Jay’s laughing really set me off… Loved the shots at Peanuts.

  • TheManHole

    What do you think it is going to say for space cop? “Movie was confusing and nonsensical but damn if that eye candy Rich Even’s doesn’t make it all worth it”.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Feeding Frenzy’s only review
    “An original and daring horror comedy…”

  • tOmy`

    I think you are pronouncing it wrong. In a… written form.

    Anyway, yea, Jay’s laugh was one of the highlights. But I assume Mike payed him to laugh. They are really selling out lately.

    #RLMgate

  • TheManHole

    But I like to suck on Max’s Landis…Oh wait.

  • Palpatine

    That movie’s so overrated at this point.

  • TheManHole

    I have still yet to see it.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Palpatine

    It’s the sad truth.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “WHY NOT?!”

  • bassbait

    agreed. It’s like the Phantom Menace of bad movies, that is if Phantom Menace didn’t exist.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Room is the greatest moving piece of cinema in the history of motion pictures.

  • bassbait

    you love peanus shots huh? Low blow.

  • bassbait

    I now pronounce you man and Room.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *of penis

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Tommy Wiseau isn’t no Karen O. Get out.

  • bassbait

    get out of The Room? With pleasure.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Listen, you can love someone deep inside and there is nothing wrong with it.

  • Palpatine

    That’s not to say I hate it or anything. I just think it’s overstayed it’s welcome as the “greatest bad movie”.

  • bassbait

    I was loved deep inside once.

  • bassbait

    I don’t know if it was ever the greatest bad movie. Just the easiest to gather around I guess.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Do you understand life? Do you?!

  • bassbait

    actually two times, in a gas station.

  • Palpatine

    Can you quote the Prequels instead?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Where you hung yourself in the bathroom?

  • Mr Frostback

    LOL yeah, and I bet you’re one of the conspiracy theorists that think Mike and Jay didn’t really kill off Max Landis.

  • bassbait

    I wouldn’t say I was the one who was hung.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Room is more enjoyable there fore I quote it more. This party’s over.

  • bassbait

    I don’t like sand…

  • Mr Frostback

    No it’s spelled ‘Peanuts’, not ‘penis’ they’re totally differ.. ohhhhhhh

    I get it now…

    No wonder Jay was laughing.

  • tOmy`

    “Rich Evans is the return to the golden era of Hollywood. Suave gentleman with a voice of an angel and heart of a viper. His relentless presence on the screen can be described as Bogard-esque, while his sex appeal is of a vicious sexual predator.

    The rest of the movie is utter shit. Thanks, Stoklasa.”

  • RLMkeepitup

    maybe that’s why the video is taking so long, they’re cleaning up the mess. RIP his twitter feed.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Imagine Tommy Wiseau in a Neil Breen movie.

  • Palpatine

    Am I the only one who likes that The Force Awakens isn’t being labeled as Episode VII in any of its advertising?

  • bassbait

    That would suck so hard it’d make a black hole, whereupon all acting talent is sucked away. It would be the death of cinema. And it’d be beautiful.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No, because it remains true to Star Wars.

  • bassbait

    am I the only one who doesn’t think of Star Wars as “Episode IV”?

  • Palpatine

    The universe would probably explode from their combined greatness.

  • RLMkeepitup
  • Palpatine

    I usually refer to all the Star Wars movies by their subtitles instead of their episode number.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Now add in Cool Cat.

  • Palpatine

    Elton John? He’s a pianist.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I wasn’t sold on Double Down but I’m sold on this. This shit makes Tommy Wiseau proud

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFgQ34b96_U

  • RLMkeepitup

    that and roman numerals are confusing to the urban market, I mean everyone

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    The mighty power of Imagination.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Tommy made one really bad movie. Neil has made several that both were consistently bad. I gotta give Neil more points at least until Samuari Cop 2.

  • Palpatine

    “Yo dawg, why’s dere a ‘I’ next to da ‘V’?”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    He is complaining about specter today. He called it a borefest.
    Todays: Omi Update.

  • Palpatine

    It’s true. Screw that episode numbering crap.

  • tOmy`

    He was also very hurtful to F&F franchise.

    I am gonna unsubscribe. Not to his orgies tho. They stick with you.

  • tOmy`

    Why? It makes sense…

  • Palpatine

    Daddy Derek wouldn’t like that.

  • Palpatine

    It does, but some people (not myself) find it confusing.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    1812 or The Beatles?

  • tOmy`

    Well, not so far. You know… when there are 6 movies that we memorized till death.

    But in 10 years? Boy oh boy…

  • Palpatine

    Question: If The Room is best worst movie, then what’s the worst worst movie?
    Answer: Either Nukie or Fun in Balloon Land.

  • tOmy`

    Time to hit the bed, here is something for all of you to consider:

    http://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aEz3Z5N_700b.jpg

    Internet is great.

  • Domo

    I could see people who don’t understand roman numerals getting confused after a time. Episode IX will come along, and people will go “The fuck is this? Are the movies going backward? What?!”

    It’s like A&W who sold a 1/3 pounder burger at a lower price point than Burger King’s quarter pounder, and upon taking studies to figure out what went wrong, discovered that people thought 1/3 was less than 1/4 because 3 comes first. It’s weird.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Santa Claus and The Ice Cream Bunny.

  • Palpatine

    That’s both racist and hilarious at the same time.

  • Palpatine

    Is that so bad it’s good?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh god no.

  • tOmy`
  • Domo

    Go to bed, you terrible human being!
    Good night!

  • tOmy`

    Night, Domo!

  • Palpatine

    Then you’re bound to love Fun in Balloon Land:
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3cpSYje53H0

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m scared

  • bassbait

    That should create some sort of magnitron!

  • bassbait

    good question.

  • bassbait

    not to mention Neil Breen is literally Jesus.

  • bassbait

    I just say “Star Wars”, “Empire”, and “Jedi”. Also “Prequels”, because they don’t deserve to be listed as separate movies.

  • bassbait

    I still liked Nukie. According to Rich, that’s “Jay’s baby”.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    YOU LIKED NUKIE?!?!

  • RiverboatGrambler

    I thought it was fine. Landis had talked about how much your script can be changed, so Mike read the script for his next movie before reviewing it. He said that he liked a couple little bits in the script that didn’t make the cut, and then they talked about why the movie didn’t work for the rest of the review. It wasn’t exactly a glowing endorsement.

  • bassbait

    I own a copy. Idk I’ve seen it twice so far and I want to watch it again but I ran out of friends to show it to. I need more friends, so I can then lose them when I make them watch Nukie.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m so sorry for you.

  • Palpatine

    Sorry, but I don’t understand how you could like it. It’s seriously one of the worst movies ever made, if not the worst.

  • bassbait

    I don’t see why it was so awful? It’s got everything – stock footage, artificial intelligence, a talking monkey wearing a tank-top, aliens with snot coming out of their nose all the time, a helicopter crash, frozen people. Now THAT is entertainment!

  • Palpatine

    It’s okay to be scared. If I can suffer through it, so can you.

  • Palpatine

    That’s the tip of the iceberg of its awfulness.

  • bassbait

    greatness*

  • Palpatine

    Whatever man, you’re entitled to your opinion.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No I’m pretty sure it’s the worst film ever made.

  • bassbait

    thanks man, I know man.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    The internet!

  • Palpatine

    I dunno, I’m seriously debating between that and Fun in Balloon Land for the title of “worst movie ever made”.

  • RLMkeepitup

    How many times do you think Mike has said that to Rich

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    “AM I WROOOONG?”

  • Palpatine

    At least a hundred.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    We also eat Applebee’s!
    MOTHERFUCKER!

  • bassbait

    alrighty then, time for a sincere review of Nukie, since y’all are just a buncha haturz –

    I thought Nukie was fine. Sure, a lot of the time I didn’t know what was happening, but there’s a difference between not knowing and not caring, and despite the poor writing and production, I did care. Every new scene, the film would start to pick up a little as if it was gradually turning into a movie, but then it never did. It kept picking up the ball and then dropping it again, which made it entertaining to watch because it made me scratch my head at the decisions of the director/writers. The film also was “so bad it’s good” in multiple ways. Not just a bad actor ruining an otherwise mediocre experience (The Room). It had moments of complete bafflement. There were clear moments of plugging in things for kids to enjoy (talking monkey, random fireworks show) that fell flat in a charmingly bad way, and then there were things that were completely left-field wtf decisions like the over-arching plot itself. It kept me entertained with its nonsense, whereas I would have shut Troll 2 off if I wasn’t watching it with a friend. I’m less interested in quotable lines of dialogue than I am in moments that just make no sense on any level, and Nukie was one of the crowning achievements in making no sense. That made it more fun. If you really want to see nonsense that sucks, watch Begotten.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    I agree with you, though, that Batman begins is the best Batman movie.
    I love Ledger, I love The Joker, but the Joker is such a show-stealer that the ‘Dark Knight’ felt less Batman-centric and just felt like an above-average thriller.
    Batman Begins felt like a BATMAN movie, dammit!

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    “The internet isn’t a safe space.”
    YOU CAN’T RUIN OUR LIVES, REALITY!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXQkXXBqj_U

  • bassbait

    btw don’t watch Begotten.

  • Percy Gryce

    About frickin’ time. On the strength of The Grabowskis alone Mike should have a five-year development deal in Hollywood.

  • Cirric Fylenco

    To me The Force Awakens is episode four. I pretend the prequels don’t exist.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “This is where I tell your opinion is wrong”
    -Mike Stoklasa

  • bassbait

    my are opinion is right.

    I actually thought Mike came across as a complete idiot in that What’s your Number review lol.

  • RLMkeepitup

    they should have put all the nukie tapes on the wheel for Maxy boy. what else are they gonna do with all those tapes…

  • Bubs

    Deathlist. It really caused me physical pain to watch.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    But without the roman numerals, how are people from the future supposed to know in which order to watch the movies? And now there’s even spinoffs! This issue was covered by Jay in HitB, but it was about superhero movies.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    There’s people who don’t understand roman numerals?

    Oh, that second paragraph. The education system has failed… globally.

  • Like Icare

    Yeah, but how do you then explain that 2x is less than 3x?
    Where’s your math now?

  • Bubs

    I’m gonna sell the 4/16 pounder and make a fuckin fortune.

  • Is it weird that I dwell on this webzone 24/7 and never brought myself to watching any of the “alternative” movies that are discussed here at great lenghts? I always turn them off after 5 minutes.

  • bassbait

    I’ve seen Nukie and I have not seen Rocky, Jaws, Schindler’s List, The Shawshank Redemption, Psycho, or Apocalypse Now.

    It would be hard for me to say anyone else is “weird” when it comes to what movies they’ve seen, considering how many “all time greatest” movies I’ve never even tried to watch.

  • bassbait

    just found out that Boyhood has a perfect 100 on Metacritic, and is the top rated film of all time on that website.

    Did I mention Metacritic is bullshit?

  • Palpatine

    Why haven’t you tried to watch them?

  • bassbait

    because I don’t care about any of them. At least, not yet.

  • Palpatine

    Oh, you will once you decide to watch them.

  • bassbait

    probably. I don’t think they’re bad or a waste of time or anything, I just don’t tend to watch movies unless there’s a drive for me to see them and I don’t have interest currently. If you want to know what I *am* interested in that I haven’t seen yet, it’s There Will Be Blood. I’ve been recommended it for years, and I saw Punch-drunk Love and liked it, so that’s probably the next one on my list of actual films that are considered great. That or Fargo.

  • Rocky, Jaws, Schindler’s List and The Shawshank Redemption can be skipped anyways. But, dude, Apocalypse Now? That is Coppola at his rawest, when he still had balls of steal.

  • bassbait

    I’ve seen Godfather 1 and 2 and they were good. I thought 2 was better than 1. He has made good stuff and Apocalypse Now might be great but idk, still not interested yet. That’s what happens is sometimes I find a film that occupies a certain space so well that it can ruin other films for me. Like Full Metal Jacket is such a fucking great movie that I need to let the effect of FMJ wear off before I tackle another war movie, so that way Apocalypse Now isn’t just living in Kubrick’s shadow.

    side note I almost typed “Godzilla” instead of Godfather. Now I want to see the Godfatherzilla.

  • Palpatine
  • Wizard Phoenix

    You have seen Double Down but you have not seen Psycho, Shawshank Redemption, Jaws, Rocky, Schindler’s List, or Apocalypse Now? What the hell is with you?

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • They can’t be compared. They’re like apples and oranges. Apocalypse Now is like a bad trip on LSD. It has got this haunting score. It gives me goosebumps just thinking about it. Oh, and did I mention Brando makes the last act? Even tho, he was too fat for the role and didn’t really give a shit.

  • bassbait

    If I watch every last movie that people recommend I won’t have much time to do other things that I want to do with my life. Like watch Double Down.

  • Domo

    The math doesn’t matter; it’s how it’s presented, and what the brain perceives. In sales, 25% off sounds and looks better and “more” than saying 1/3 off. It’s not even the brain going “1/3rd of a percent?” because of percentage/fraction usage. It’s a combo of visual and auditory trickery where logic doesn’t really come into the equation.

    It’s a fascinating study, and part of the reason A&W died out like it did, with other companies learning from that mistake. It also works with buy one/two/three get one half/free over a percentage. You hear free and all rationale goes out the window.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    How deep? Nine inches is about all, as far as depth goes.

    And that’s fucking above average.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings when I called you a suck up.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    #IAmOmitted

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    10,000 implied upvotes because nobody else is gonna acknowledge how borderline brilliant this post is.

    That is, if I understood it.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    You could get yourself a friend that wouldn’t ask such dumb questions.

    I mean, it’s nice to have friends and all but that doesn’t mean we can’t discriminate.

    #Pasta

  • RLMkeepitup

    han shot dozens of stormtroopers. guys with families. working class people. people nobody mentions

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    As a Batman fan, I wish you would stop saying stupid sh!t about Batman.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    I learned it on the internet.

    Wait. What? Who do you think I am? Bob Seger?

    I am NOT Bob Seger.

  • Domo

    Well, GrumPa, it’s a hypothetical, not a declaration.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    And sitting on, if it’s lazy.

  • Rosemary

    The Jaws prequel is gonna focus on Chief Brody.

    It’s a Police Academy reboot.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Jaws 2 kinda did that.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    I’ve always wanted to know just how horrible life was in the Kintner household that drove sad little Alex into the sea and the jaws of death.

    We wanna see a montage of Mom Kintner practicing her shame slap.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Did you just call Elton John a dick?

    Dem’s fighting words, bub.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Deathlist is like being on crystal meth, that movie captures the self important delusional hell that is meth

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    GrumPa?

    “Well, I declare,” said Scarlett O’Hara, and then she batted her eyelashes and demurely waved a fan in front of her face.

    This has been A Moment in Film History brought to you by Turner Classic Movies.

  • Palpatine

    His mom looked old enough to be his grandmother. Just sayin’.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    True. I have nothing against the #2 or the word “albums.”

    It MUST be Coldplay.

  • olekinderhook

    HAS NO ONE MENTIONED THE AUDIBLE FART AND JAY’S REACTION AT 11:16????

  • Rosemary

    Jaws 2 was Jaws 1, but without a salty captain Quint – it really bites.

  • Palpatine

    And show Mrs. Brody go out with Hooper’s brother. That was in the novel by the way, along with Mrs. Brody having an affair with Hooper and Mayor Vaughn working with the mafia.

  • Domo

    You changed your name and avatar, but your disqus profile is still the same from when you made your account as Plan9 🙂

    How have you been? I hope your holidays went well.

  • Palpatine

    Jaws: The Revenge had a roaring shark. And you can’t top that.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Sssshhhh. I am NOT Bob Seger.

    I LOVE Thanksgiving. Best of the holidays. However, I have a younger brother who is An American Hero, so every holiday is The Patrick Show, Or So Are You the Gay One?

    I hope you had a wonderful holiday too.

  • Palpatine

    Elton John is awesome.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    THAT’S better.

  • Domo

    Well, when it’s perfectly okay for Winona Ryder to be Zachary Quinto’s Mom in Star Trek, when there’s only a 6 year age difference, every mom from 70s Hollywood is gonna look like Granny.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Sssssssssssssssssssssuck it.

  • Domo

    Thank you. Halloween is the favorite holiday here because we’re so close to Salem, MA, but scaring children and rotting their teeth is a delight, too. Get ’em while they’re young.

    I have aunts who are married, but they don’t want to make a fuss about being a lesbian couple. So every gathering with new friends goes like this:

    “So they’re both your aunts? Are they sisters? No? Well that’s good. Are they best friends? Well, what the fuck are they?”

    Heaven forbid you’re slightly out of the mold in any way, cuz they’ll shame you for not being in their box in a heartbeat without a moment’s pause.

  • RiverboatGrambler

    !!!!!!!

  • Palpatine

    Man of Steel had two actors in their 50’s stay the same age the whole movie.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    And yet there has to be some ecstasy gained from simply not being in the box.

    I’m not gay, but I so wanna be just to see the reaction on their faces.

    #Progress

  • Domo

    Yep. And Thranduil’s Lee Pace is 2 years younger than Legolas’ Orlando Bloom, yet Thranduil is Legolas’ father.

    I guess in Elf world it works, but the rest of Hollywood? Nah! Wrinkly moms are A-Ok!

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    OK. But one of them had to be sacrificed for a dog.

    That ain’t good.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    !!!!!!!!

  • Palpatine

    What did he say to Clark again?

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Maybe.

  • Domo

    Eh. We don’t have kids and will never have them, but I don’t get the same level of shaming like I did when I was younger. My brother having bi-racial children, though? In Japan? Absolute travesty.

    Just gotta take happiness where you can find it. Stealing is perfectly okay!

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    When you were younger, but I’m so much older than you. This feeling of child / parent should stop at some point. Yeah? In Japan I have a sense it’s even so-much more oppressive than America (which is oppressive enough), but that may be just due to my affection for Ozu films.

    Or, I’m just under-developed. Lose / Lose.

    Like you say, Steal it! Pursuit of Happiness. It’s for everybody!

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Sully never hangs out here anymore?

    Sully GOT me. I liked Sully lots.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    Melancholia! It’s a great movie. Anti-Christ is just provocation.

  • Domo

    I guess it’s how proactive you are about your situation. We had a neighbor, a traveling nurse who’s in her 70s, but divorced in her 30s and never re-married. She never got shit about it because she’s so positive and outwardly happy about being single. Could I do that with being childfree? Not yet, and not as effectively, but I’m definitely willing to try!

  • RLMkeepitup

    now that’s a spoiler

  • Domo

    He didn’t spoil it too much, because the fart noise was ineffective on crappy plastic covered seats.

    Oh, SPOILERS.

  • Thing One n’ Two Things

    There is no try……Sorry.

    Childfree. Single. Married. Whichever. We are all that which we have somehow chosen to be, or not. Personally, I feel every parent owes an apology to their child, but that’s because I’m a pessimist and then I see their tow-headed child and I think, um, alright. But, I never look at any couple and think, “Hey, are they breeding?” The world is too difficult for one answer.

  • Domo

    Look at you, using a Star Wars quote in a sweet manner 🙂

    I screenshotted that and hung it on my wall. Right next to my Yoda figurine! Muahuahua!

  • Like Icare

    That sounds fishy to me. Not in the least cause A&W apparently still exists (had to look it up as I’m a frr-nrr), and they claim other reasons for losing the lead to McDonald’s. Like lawsuits and franchise issues.

    But mainly cause it smells to me like it is a bullshit study.
    Which would require either VERY HIGHLY uneducated or braindead customers.

    With either a highly cherry picked sample or a tiny sample or some other combination of “fixes” like p-hacking or plain old “statistics is hard”.

    And that’s without going into terrifying percentages of both retraction and replication in social sciences.

    Or the whole disappearing findings issue, once the researchers are required to register their methods and measures – i.e. they were fudging the data to get “better” results.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I always thought it was a clear case of self defence. not a “Cold blooded murder.”
    Han didn’t do it for fun or cause Greedo shitted him. Greedo was about to kill him.
    Jorge doesn’t understand his own movies proper.

  • Domo

    This was A&W’s own focus groups. Others pulled from that to go more into the psychology of sales figures. Besides, McDonalds had a clown and Mac & Me selling their burgers. No way could A&W win.

  • LukasH

    Oh yeah, Audible Fart. They sponsor like every podcast.

  • bassbait

    question – do you think if we relaxed the rules on PG-13 films, so that there could be more allowance of gore/violence/nudity before a movie gets an “R” rating, do you think that movies would be higher quality? Think about it – Fury Road was an R film, and it would have been much more successful if it was PG-13, but it could have reasonably been PG-13, it’s not *that* disturbing of a movie for teenagers to watch. And we all know that PG-13 films make more money than R films because there’s a less severe age limit on who can get in to see it, so if Fury Road was a PG-13 film, but wasn’t edited down in any way, then it would make a lot more money. My main problem with modern films, especially action/horror films, is how the lack of blood/gore and practical effects causes the tension of scenes to dissolve. I don’t feel any weight to things if there aren’t some actual visual keys that someone was harmed, like a squib, but movies soften themselves now to get a PG-13 rating. So if the rating was a bit more relaxed, then a lot of films that deserved more attention might have gotten it (Looper, Dredd, Fury Road).

    Thoughts?

  • Bonita Pitts

    Till I saw the draft that was of 8368 dollars, I accept that my friend’s brother was like really generating cash in his free time with his pc. . His aunt’s neighbor has done this for only 8 months and by now repaid the loan on their home and bought a new Car .Why not try this. ssa

    http://www.MakeaWish.ru.cm

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    In Australia its rated MA-15+.

  • bassbait

    I honestly momentarily forgot that ratings systems change from country to country, but American business determines to a large extent the success of movies overall, especially when it comes to what Hollywood decides to invest into, although foreign markets are starting to gain more and more influence as well, so an American rating of “R” can still fuck a movie over and I think that people just kind of accept the rules of ratings as though they can’t be subject to change, and I was wondering how much movies would benefit if the ratings *were* subject to change in America.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Since when has a John Wayne type character, you know, the type that is said to have the fastest draw in the west, let his opponent shoot first?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Is it called the thirder pounder?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    No wonder they also think that showing Nintendo games on YouTube is piracy.

  • Domo

    Here is an interesting video that answers your question, although in a roundabout way. If nothing else, the comments dig into your question a lot more than any one person could do. Hope it helps.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-NeJRrgoTY

  • WrongWithYourFace

    There’s no need to lie to me.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Aw, shucks.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Hasn’t this already been done, and to a large extent? There are a lot of movies that have a PG 13 now that would have been R’s 25 years ago.

  • Domo

    Third pound burger.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    No, you are not.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Fargo Fargo Fargo

  • tOmy`

    I don’t know. I talked to Wifey about it yesterday:

    I recently saw The Wolverin movie from 2013 (the one in Japan) and actually had to go to IMDB to check if it really is just PG-13. That movie was pretty brutal. And no, I am not talking only about some killing. On screen deaths, blood, bloody screen, absolute disregard for human life, slashing, cutting, stabing – all with proper sound effects and blood. There were even F-bombs (among other profanities).

    Fuck, there was a part when Anime girl #2 drove a snow plow over ninjas, that got sucked in, crashed and the pipe that usually throws out excess snow first sprayed snowy roof with blood and then with parts of a human body… that other ninja slipped on. And Wolverine performed a heart surgery on himself.

    Fair to say: The IMDB parent guide clearly stated that even though the movie is rated PG-13, the extended cut shouldn’t be viewed by anyone under 15.

    I guess you can get away with a lot.

  • tOmy`

    As a Justified-loving cheerleader, it doesn’t go “you don’t shoot first.” You wait for them to pull and then pull faster and shoot them first.

    Shooting second would get Wayne killed. It’s about drawing. Even a b-show got this right.

  • tOmy`

    So that was the plot!

  • tOmy`

    The more you watch it, the less painful it becomes.

  • LukasH

    Mushroom Mushroom!

  • tOmy`
  • tOmy`

    “Adele on music streaming: ‘There are nine-year-old kids who don’t know what a fucking CD is!'”

    No, you just have a shitty audience. Which is like 99% of people apparently.

  • tOmy`

    “‘I’ve got my CDs out on display in my house just to prove a point. Maybe CDs will have a massive comeback like vinyl did. Actually I think cassettes, just to be a pain in the ass!”

    #Rebel #LivingOnTheEdge #DumbBimbo

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    The quality of audio is shit now. kids these days dont realise how lo fi MP3’s are.
    Fuck digital music. and you do that by sticking the 1 in the 0

  • LukasH

    Let’s just cut out the middle man and murder teenagers.

  • LukasH

    Does anyone remember when your walkman’s batteries would be low and the pitch would go down?

    #OGRemix

  • The MPAA’s ratings guidelines have always been absurdly arbitrary, as lampooned by TV’s Freakazoid. Still not sure if Jack Valenti was in on the joke or not.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    It was Sooo Coooollll whhhhennn thadghhhh happppgnggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    mp3? that’s high quality my friend. most people just listen to music on youtube. 126 kbps AAC compressed audio. now THAT’s quality!

  • Domo

    This is the only sentence you’ve ever made without any spelling or grammar errors.

  • LukasH

    Dats write!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    carn man fark youse.

  • tOmy`

    Yet another glorious episode.

    This is just flawless.

  • tOmy`

    It’s “convenient”.

  • Marvin Falz

    Exactly what he was saying!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • As a child I used to decorate my room with cassette tape, much to the chagrin of my siststers. *evil grin*

  • tOmy`

    Well,

    1) Just as I commented below, teasing the McBattle is a right call here. I pretty much said the same thing as you, so I am not gonna talk about it any further.

    2) But they do change the formula a bit. Sure, these movies are all “movies with witty characters”, but the tone / style / focus shifts back and forth to keep it fresh.

    Don’t like Cap America’s story? So what about Iron Man’s story that is more cool and with a healthy dose of attitude? Not your style? Not enough of Iron Man action? Well, then you can watch Ant-Man, it’s basically the same, only more funny and he spends more time in the suit.

    If they make 3 movies a year and each of them is targeted at the general audience (and nerds) and tweak each one just a little bit to make sure that there is even the slightest “diversity”, people who wouldn’t go see AoU might give a shot to Ant-Man. And don’t forget to throw into the movie another character from an another movie! Maybe, just maybe people will get interested in that character and go to see the other movie.

    I am not defending this approach, but I do find it quite brilliant.

  • Marvin Falz

    The mood I have at the moment when I start watching a movie influences my opinion of the movie. (The last cognitive process you’re in also influences your sleep, science says.) So when I’m in a bad mood, then the probability rises, that I don’t like the movie. Sweets stimulate a good mood. Therefore selling sweets in a movie theatre serves at least partially the purpose to get the audience to like the movie.

    Let’s all go to the lobby!

  • Do they sell cocaine in the lobby?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    only in Holland.

  • Marvin Falz

    Maybe in rundown porno theatres.

    Let’s all fuck in the lobby!

  • Marvin Falz

    Cocaine? Mary Jane!

  • In Colombia maybe.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • tOmy`

    So I went to a Target to purchase a deluxe version of Adele’s album 25, a title referring to the number of songs on the album minus 11, because they don’t sell it anywhere else, as indicated by the lack of “normal version” or “Walmart version”. Now I would like to tell you what is so special about the “Target Deluxe Version”, but the album doesn’t care to explain it to me, so I won’t care either and just flat out assume that the normal version is Hello on repeat, for like 2 hours, because that is the approximate time it takes a lonely housewife to drown her emotional distress in a bottle of wine.

    I have to ask tho: Why do people buy this album? If you heard “Hello”, you already heard the whole album. Isn’t there like a Hello Single (Target Deluxe Version)? Why is this being purchased? To feel?

  • Marvin Falz

    To get out of the house? Between two bottles of wine?

    Not only the music itself is important (usually), also the musician. Someone might buy Adele’s music out of sympathy for the person. The musician as a person of identification for one’s own self.

  • tOmy`

    How many people in their 25 listen to this stuff? Honestly.

    Here are the actual titles of songs: Send My Love (To Your New Lover), I Miss You, When We Were Young, Water Under The Bridge, Love In The Dark, Million Years Ago, All I Ask, Can’t Let Go, Why Do You Love Me…

    A healthy 25yo girl shouldn’t think in such terms. This is a 14yo attempt at poetry, not 25yo look back at her love life. You just got punk’d, people!

  • Marvin Falz

    So the German political leaders declared that refugees are always welcome in Germany. They only wanted to help people in distress. German folks are ready to help, think about possibilites how they can help, like modifying their houses with their own money and then some phlegmatic bureaucrats just say no, in one case even criminalising a man who only wanted to help those who have to sleep in the cold. I kinda want to conclude with Fuck bureaucracy. But I’m aware that individual cases are not the norm.

  • tOmy`

    Build ghettos! What could possibly go wrong?

  • Marvin Falz

    People seem to take longer to mature nowadays. “When we were young” – a song title for couples in their 50s or 80s. I don’t know Adele’s music, except a vague memory, that her Bond song doesn’t please me. At all.

  • Marvin Falz

    Nothing! Ghettos are good for the economy, namely drug dealers and pimps.

  • tOmy`

    Her every song on this album plays like a “vague memory”. And you know, I don’t blame people for listening to her music, to each his own, but how in the name of a fuck have this become a blueprint for the most successful album of like ever?

    And I am not saying that 25yo girls (or boys) don’t feel. But one would assume that it’s the “grown-er up” version of feeling. A bit more complicated. Complex. Built on an actual understanding, self-reflection and, I don’t know, porcupines.

    It’s just baffling.

  • tOmy`

    That Terminator “bewb” F&Q is f&qink shocking.

  • Marvin Falz

    Porcupines are very important. They teach you lessons of life.

    Sales are behind it all. No, really. If something is successful, others try to find the formula and copy it. And people buy things that are similar to the pattern they like.

    But I actually think that people in general are more mature than one might expect judging from their favorite ‘artistic’ or whatever experience.

    Also, every successful album, movie and tv-series is the most successful ever, according to the makers themselves

  • tOmy`

    Oh, yea, but this was from a sales reports: That album was No. 1 in every country except like 2 – one of them was Burkina Faso.

    UK: Fastest selling album ever (actually: In its first week, 25 sold more copies in the UK than the combined sales of the last 19 number-one UK albums in the weeks they topped the chart)
    Germany: Largest weekly sales since 2007
    France: The fastest selling album of 2015
    Australia: Passing TRIPLE platinum mark within 5 days.

    25 sold more copies in its first week than the next two fastest-selling albums by female artists combined–Britney Spears’ Oops!… I Did It Again, which sold 1.319 million in its first week, and Swift’s 1989, which sold 1.287 million in its first week. In the first three days of its second week, 25 sold over 650,000 units, surpassing 4 million in pure album sales.

    This ain’t just promo of “we have the best album ever”, this is a freaking avalanche.

  • When I saw the draft which was of 8060 dollars, I accept that my friend’s br0ther was like really generating cash in his spare time with his computer. . His aunts neighb0r has done this for only 10 months and by now repaid the loan on their home and bought a new Car .This is what they are d0nig …
    >>>>> Visit my ƤŘ0ƑĮĹẸ for the site address
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  • Marvin Falz
  • tOmy`

    Great video! It’s funny that it doesn’t translate well, because as far as I know, our rating is different:

    For all.
    At least 12.
    At least 15.
    At least 18.

  • Marvin Falz

    Hmm. Adele seems to hit a nerve on a world wide scale. Maybe she represents the notion of a simpler life represented in her simple tunes and texts. Globalisation is a pretty complicated process and can unnerve, when you feel powerless in your own life and depending on outside circumstances. Just a theory.

  • RLMkeepitup

    the lady at 1:52 has had too much cool aid. she also reminds me of Randy Quaid in drag. yes I’m going to hell

  • tOmy`

    Possibly. Afteral, the simplicity I mentioned could translate very well to other countries and cultures – it feels generic enough to be accepted by all without any problem.

  • tOmy`
  • Marvin Falz

    Oh, of course, like the lowest common denominator in music. Is it akin to muzak in elevators and in supermarkets to stimulate the willingness to buy in the customers?

  • Commander X

    From reddit, a pretty cool-sounding dude announces he bought a whole lot of tickets:

    https://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/comments/3uli4h/i_bought_an_entire_theaters_worth_of_star_wars/?

    I bought an entire theater’s worth of star wars tickets. Bye bye kiddos.

    This is my first time being an adult with an adult salary when star wars is premiering. Go big or go home, right?

    The replies are full of choice quotes like:

    I love the drafthouse, too, however, they’ve been pissing me off lately. I wanted to go see the Peanuts movie…until I saw their age restriction: All ages welcome at any showing. FUCK. THAT.

    CHILDREN BEING ALLOWED INTO SHOWINGS OF THE PEANUTS MOVIE? WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO OMG

  • Like Icare

    Well… for one… it’s a bit anecdotal. And smells of “hand-washing” and placing blame.

    A billionaire who builds malls buys a fast food chain, doesn’t know how to compete with McD (at the point in time where McD are already masters of the universe), so he hires a marketing company to tell him why his much smaller chain can’t compete with a global monster that is McD.
    http://factually.gizmodo.com/whats-bigger-1-3-pound-burgers-or-1-4-pound-burgers-1611118517

    Then he cherry picks a reason, places blame on “stupid murricans” instead of on himself, puts that explanation in his book and finally sells the chain DESPITE supposedly finding out the solution why (stupid murricans need differnt nmbrz)…

    He bought the chain in ’82, sold it in ’94.
    Had better and cheaper product (according to the same “study”), knew the magic reason why it wasn’t selling… and yet he could not make it despite having the solution by said “study”.
    Hmm… What was the definition of stupid again?

    And then when it is now basically hearsay it ends up in another book as a fun anecdote how “murricans are taught bad – butt eyes gotta slewtion”.
    Then it gets repeated ad nauseam until it is magically “common knowledge”.

    And that’s all without taking in account that the measuring ruler used to measure the responses in the study is broken.
    I.e. People who major in social studies tend to suck at math. You need math for statistics. Meaning you need math for any kind of science.

    And when you read that they use different (lower) values to describe correlation (making a weak correlation into a strong one) cause that is OK in social studies…
    On top of that… people who do these psycho- and socio- and econo- studies are FANTASTIC at self-delusion.

    I.e. Finding the solution to the problem by convincing self or other people of the solution.
    Which is another way for describing confirmation bias.

    There was a recent article on the rate of depression among entrepreneurs.
    http://www.businessinsider.com/austen-heinzs-suicide-and-depression-in-startups-2015-7

    Holy shit are THEY mentally ill!
    72% reported that they or their family members had mental-health problems. Holy shit, the crazies are running the tech world!

    I mean… just look at the control group where incidence of mental health issues is only… 49%?
    Wait… HALF the control group is insane too? HOLY SHIT!!! HALF THE AMERICANS ARE FUCKING RAVING LUNATICS!!!

    Hold on… how were those numbers reached?
    Oh… well… you see…
    http://www.michaelafreemanmd.com/Research_files/Are%20Entrepreneurs%20Touched%20with%20Fire%20%28pre-pub%20n%29%204-17-15.pdf
    We got these 335 people and asked them some questions.
    76 were MBA students and faculty, 149 were psychology students and the rest (110) we got through entrepreneur conventions.

    Then we asked ALL OF THEM “Have you ever been self-employed, a business founder, or a business co-founder (including non-profit businesses)?”
    Those who answered “No” – we called them the control group.
    Whole 93 of them. Yup. NINETY AND THREE. Big ones. Ah-huh. Science.

    Wait… Out of 335 people, 149 of whom are psych students, 76 are MBA students and 110 are entrepreneurs – you got only 93 people who are NOT entrepreneurs?
    335 – 93 = 242

    So, out of 242 people who ARE entrepreneurs and ARE 72% mental cases… only 110 REALLY ARE entrepreneurs (which is also questionable as it was a self-report survey) – while the remaining 110 are MBA and psych students?
    While your MBA and psych student control is ONLY 49% crazy?

    Umm… That word… control… I do not think it means what you think it means.
    Which is just one reason why 99% of psychology studies were never even attempted to be replicated. While out of 27 “important findings” in social psychology 10 FAILED to be replicated.

    In priming psych only 1 in 7 passed the replication.

    Imagine physics or chemistry where over one third of it is false but we still use it anyway.
    A airplane that flies on 63% science and 37% confirmation bias.

    Wouldn’t THAT be something.

    We could build 747s out of 30% spit and sawdust. WHAT A VALUE!!!

  • Earth

    Yay. I always thought that was weird. The budget for Aliens is bigger than the one for Alien. Then again, Alien didn’t have space age weapons, more than one Xenomorph and a giant Xenomorph Mother.

  • Uh… I don’t even know what to say. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yy3q9f84EA

  • Old news?

  • Earth

    This is the sort of stuff a singer should be writing in their 40s. Their rockin’ days are over, time to chill out a little (then again, that might just be me speaking as a Nick Cave fan).

    So many small gigs I go to are ruined by indie types who turn up singing with an acoustic guitar wanting to be Ed Sheeran. (this is speaking as someone who loves acoustic guitar music)

  • Earth

    It’s inoffensive grandma music.

  • Earth

    Seriously. Robot Chicken did this joke years ago. It was funny as a five second skit. People are spending way too much time discussing this.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    First I thought he was a dick and bought a whole bunch of empty seats… But apparently he has 50 friends. What? How?? I have like… two!

  • Won’t somebody please think of the grown ups?

  • People turn into friends pretty quickly if you give them free movie tickets. #capitalism

  • Earth

    Wow, horror movies really are the bottom of the barrel genre right now. I’m trying to think of a modern one I’ve liked and am struggling. Then again, haven’t seen It Follows yet. Really liked its soundtrack.

  • Earth

    I don’t know why, but this post has made me really happy to be human.

    We are such a fucking weird species.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    So apparently Superman now has a private army. Well, I guess they are blind followers who consider him a god, but it still isn’t very Supes-y to abuse a position like that.

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • WrongWithYourFace

    There is no logical reason for CDs to make a comeback. LPs at least look nice and, according to some, have superior sound quality.

  • tOmy`

    Well, they are also used for DJing.

    That is the reason they are both making a comeback and staying relevant.

  • Back then this would’ve been my dream come true. I used to cut the tape from one side and then spin a web with it across the whole room between shelves and my desk.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yes, that too. I bet Adele doesn’t even understand why LPs are making a comeback.

  • You just got domonated!

  • tOmy`

    Yea, that’s the impression I got from her post. LP is just superb thing – artwork, the vinyl itself, you can do a lot of stuff with it as well, sound, hipster status, DJing…

    CD is just… CD.

  • Just rewatch The Shining until your elevator bleeds.

  • Earth

    Batman and Superman getting ready for their kinky bondage session in Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Blerh…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6as8ahAr1Uc

    Edit: Batman’s been a bad boy.

  • My god, Jim! These people have no charisma!

  • tOmy`

    Quickly, everyone upvote this so dscw feels bad after his didn’t receive shit!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I gave him one written shit.

  • Earth

    dsc wha…?

  • tOmy`

    1) Scroll down
    2) Feel embarrassed
    3) ????
    4) Profit

  • Earth

    Dammit Jim I’m a bat not a gimp.

  • Earth

    Oh…………

    Sorry.

  • Earth

    The scariest part of the movie is the helicopter shadow appearing in the helicopter shot.

  • tOmy`

    “As we know, Jedi themselves are inspired by Shaolin monks.”

    Uhmm… what? There are Shaolin monks in the Star Wars Universe? Where? On Hoth?

    You see, a cheerleader named tOmy` once posted a direct quote from a guy who created this martial art that wasn’t based on Shaolin whatever.

    So I call bullshit. Well, I actually call pathetic nonsense, but bullshit nonetheless.

  • tOmy`

    It’s alright.

    You know where the doors are…

    *cue sad piano music*

  • Jason Ross

    Put Rhinestone into the RLM XMAS loop of films immediately.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    “Captain, I’ve scanned the movie for any trace of levity or fun. I’ve found nothing.”
    “Not even a quip or a smile?”
    “No… this movie looks like a depressing fucking wasteland, Jim.”

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    This kind of looks like some sort of fever dream that Batman is having.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    *Drinks from giant flask.*

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    It’s clear that Snyder is trying to top ‘300’ in terms of sheer homoeroticism.
    NOW I get why Wonder Woman is in this movie– it’s to show the audience that Batman and Superman have a case of the “not-gays.”
    She’s also into bondage.
    Zak Snyder has a fetish.

  • Zack Snyder is his own fetish.

  • Both.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    I refuse to believe that the director of ‘Sucker Punch’ has sexual kinks.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    gotta use every opportunity to make the prequels not suck. we’re in full revisionist mode when it comes to SW now.

  • Oh, no. I made 5000 comments on this shitty webzone. Fuck all y’all for ruining my life!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    And this… twist would not make the prequels suck?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    ‘Walking Dead’ Fans Complain About ‘Weak,’ ‘Bland’ Midseason Finale”

    seeing this headline today on imdb has seriously made me laugh out loud for real. when will people realize this P.O.S. series will never improve?

    #sogladIstoppedwatchingit3seasonsago

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Superman seems to be mad because he didn’t think of using a mask.

  • Jason Ross

    And, yes, the trailer is cut to make it look like Sherlock Holmes: The Third Part

  • Earth

    Have these people actually watched the prequels recently? They’re such a colossal mess it’s an insult to cinema to take them seriously. Are we gonna go all revisionist on Batman and Robin? I didn’t think so.

  • Maybe he’s afraid of turning into Jim Carrey.

  • Earth

    Does Wonder Woman have a thing with either of them though? Superman has Lois Lane and Batman has Robin, so who’s she “not-gaying”? Aqua Man?

  • Earth

    Doesn’t Superman have x-ray eyes? Why would he need to actually take off the mask?

    Oh…symbolism…or something, I guess…

    (this is the same series as Superman standing in a church next to Jesus after all).

  • dollar store cashier wife

    wishful thinking

  • WrongWithYourFace

    She variedly has things with both of them. I think currently with Superman. Wherever he dumped Lois Lane, I do not know.

    Maybe Wonder Woman is going to be the trophy in the movie and the reason Batman And Superman are fighting in the first place.

  • Made it halfway thru season 3 before I quit.

  • Earth

    Oh good, a love triangle story with two men fighting over who gets to fuck the vagina, ain’t never seen that plotline before. Wouldn’t put it passed Hack Snyder though.

    I would’ve thought Wonder Woman herself was gay, she does live in an Amazonian society. Ain’t many men in those. (jeez, how’re they gonna fit that Greek mythology shit into “Dark-and-Serious DC land?) Maybe she actually will be a prostitute who snaps her pimp’s neck with the lasso.

  • Just another guy

    It’s cute how they try to say the script wasn’t good in the most polite way possible.

  • Maybe she’s into femdom stuff and will dominate Supe’s sphincter with her kryptonite strapon. Best erotic fanfuc ever.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    the finalle of s3 had some [unintentional] comedic value. other then that you choosen a good stopping point

  • Earth

    It’s amazing how little sex there is in these movies filled with characters covered in spandex and leather.

  • tOmy`

    Meanwhile, at the true fanboy pages:

    “Johnny Greenwood, he never said that [it’s ready], it’s just that journalists misunderstood him. It’s not ready. Not yet. But I couldn’t say anyway. I’d get in trouble. But no, it’s not ready.”

    – Thom

    *weeps*

  • Just another guy

    Mike must be getting clean. Those are way less pills than usual.

    Will Rhinestone be the new Night Court?

  • Palpatine

    Is Superman a cult leader or something? Did he start nailing Batman after he took his mask off? Why is this airing during Jimmy Kimmel Live? Was it too homoerotic for Monday Night Football?

  • tOmy`

    It ain’t no Sinatra, I can tell you that much.

  • The power of boners opens fanboy wallets.

  • It was just a boring soap opera with some “cool” zombie stuff attached to beginning and end. Really loved the first season tho.

  • Palpatine

    Nope, it’s the new Ishtar. Which means it’s going to be referenced over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over again by the RLM sub-Reddit until the end of time.

  • tOmy`

    His face is a mask.

  • Like Icare

    Yes on both 1 and 2.
    And I agree on almost all you say after that too.

    Couple of things though…
    It ain’t just the “CorpsTM” that are the culprits for the whole “pushing simple, pushing plastic, pushing plush” at the kids.
    There’s a lot of blame and responsibility on authors and most parents as well.
    Parents just want their moment of peace while the kid stares at the tube or plays with the physical copy of what it sees on the tube.
    Authors want money – and Rich be merciful – sense of accomplishment as authors.

    But rarely will a book or song or whatever “for kids” offer insight or make kids to think about the world around them.
    Mostly it’s just… “it’s for kids so it has to be childish”.
    Instead of using simple language to introduce kids to complex ideas it ends up being all just “tube time” filler.

    As for “the same ideas”… well… It ain’t the same kids. New ones are being “produced” all the time.
    And you can’t exactly feed the kids the same old set of old stories.
    Aaand… there IS a limit on what the kids CAN absorb at all.
    You can’t really start explaining the futures markets or socialism to a kid who can’t even count yet – unless you just want to convince it that it is all bad or all good.

    And then there’s that thing where old stories… really should not be taught anymore.
    Just imagine all the Disney fairy tales with all the shit that was originally in them, only animated.

    At best… kids won’t like them and they will switch the channel. Or Youtube… thing.
    Back when I was a kid, local TV once played The Adventures of Robin Hood followed by Robin and Marian – I fucking hated the latter.
    Particularly after the fun and adventure of the first movie which was pushed at me in kids’ shows.
    Wait… everyone is old… and then they die? WTF is this shit? This ain’t Robin Hood. Robin Hood is fun and young and wears green tights.

    Kids too have both certain expectations AND certain limits to how much they can grasp of what they are watching.

    At worst… Kids may end up with some rather archaic (or simply wrong) ideas stuffed in their heads. Like with The Incredibles and it’s Randian message of “Some people simply ARE better and special and should be allowed more”.

    And while corps may not care much about the latter (there’s not ROE in it)… they do want to keep selling shit to their audience.
    So they mass produce same old SAFE shit.
    Until the zeitgeist changes enough for them to try something new…ish.
    But still… the rule of the game is “ah… fuck it… it’s for kids”.
    Doesn’t have to be brilliant, just don’t get us sued and keep the buying the plush and the plastic.

    Blame George Lucas.
    Anything aimed at the kids is now just a big advertisement and the real money is in the merch.

    The main issue though is that same old “cartoons are for kids” label – where “kid” means everything from a newborn baby to an 18-year-old.
    And while SOME shows can bridge that gap (like Pig Riding a Twinkie) not all can.
    Some stories and ideas DO need a more prepared and informed mind. And more consistency.
    On the other hand… Any kids story can be easily peppered with jokes that would fly above your average 4-year-old’s head but will be funny to it’s parents or older siblings.

    That way they can always run back to the old “it’s just light fun for the whoooole family” excuse.

  • Bubs

    I thought season 5 was the best of the series, apart from season 1. It was very true to the spirit of the comic book.

    Season 3 was, of course, the worst of the series. By far. In fact, if anyone is interested in just how much a show can be mishandled, I found it quite interesting to research the background of Season 3, where showrunner Glen Mazzara tried to fight Robert Kirkman for the rights to the Walking Dead, using the power of his own ego as a weapon of mass destruction.

    But yeah. If anyone is really interested in TWD, read the comic book instead. It’s miles better.

  • tOmy`

    #JonSnowIsAlive

    Wait, same shit, different show.

    #SoShocked #MuchWOW

  • Bubs

    After I watched GoT season 5, I went to look at reviews. To my surprise, it was the lowest rated. Which shocked me, because I thought it was the best adaptation of the book to screen so far. And also, “Hardhome” was the best episode of the whole series. So I dunno what my point is. Fuck everyone.

  • tOmy`

    From my point of view (I didn’t read the books because I am sophisticated) the last season was the worst yet. It was still pretty watchable, but very unfocused and it’s obvious the problem with “we ran out of material” started peaking through the masterful CGI.

    Shame.

    Hahahahah. Shame. Get it? That was… what the fuck that was again?

  • Palpatine

    The more clips of Batman v. Superman I see, the more I want to become a Marvel shill.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, they at least shoved more of nothing into their trailer than absolutely nothing.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Weren’t the Shill the enemy of the Fantastic Four?

  • Bubs

    I can’t wait for that movie to flop harder than an elephant’s cock.

  • tOmy`

    No, that was thrill.

    A brother of excitement. He was also lacking in their movies.

  • Earth

    I agree. There was so much pointless filler in Season 5. Cersei’s entire story was set up just so we could have that completely pointless and inexplicable “naked walk” that apparently was such a big moment in the book we “had” to have it in the TV show at some point.

    The only character’s story I was happy with in Season 5 was Stannis’s, which they fucked up by rushing at the end.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    That’s why Watchmen is awesome, all of the sexual tension.

  • Earth

    Rorschach had the hots for the Comedian. You heard it here first.

  • Palpatine

    Trust me, it won’t.

  • Earth

    Has about as much articulation.

  • Palpatine

    There’s a fine line between keeping an audience in suspense and horribly confusing them.

  • Earth

    I’ll be interested to see audience reactions. I know the mindless fanboys will go see it, but general audiences…I dunno. I can’t see families wanting to go see this.

    It’s weird being on the side of the “these movies should be made for everyone” camp, but I just can’t shake off the feeling that Superman should be a character accessible to all ages.

  • Palpatine

    There’s nothing wrong with being in that camp.

  • Bubs

    When’s the next episode of Mike and Jay awkwardly stare at Max Landis?

    But seriously, am I the only one who wants to see more Max Landis?



    I’ll see myself out…

  • tOmy`

    I almost hurt my brain as I walked for cigies just now to come up with parts that stood out for me… but I can’t. It’s like this big mesh of… fantasy. The ultimate conclusion is that the only thing to properly stand out were the action scenes.

    And by that I don’t mean the Viper shit. Boy oh boy, was that an idea worth a three week notice.

    “So! So! We gonna come up with like these two… no, three, three girls who are like super duper awesome fighters!”
    “Mkay… who are they?”
    “Noone cares. Now, they will eventually fight – and each of them will have set of boobs.”
    “But what about weapons?”
    “We gonna give each one of them something different. Like… like from a superhero movie!”
    “Oh. So what about the fight?”
    “Well, we let them pointlessly flail at each other with weapons to create an ultimately consequence free hyped scene where nothing happens.”
    “What? That’s it?”
    “No! No! The trick is that one of them then takes off her clothes. And says “bad pussy” on cable TV!”
    “SOLD!”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOMgLPJ4uj8

  • Rammy

    They just don’t want Max coming back.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Wonder woman can’t be considered “Gay” she grew up in an Amazon society with bondage being a sexual norm. Wonder Woman had sex with some Amazons of course and she probably had a girlfriend. She was infatuated with the military dude who landed on Paradise Island, which pissed of her mother who was queen of the Amazons. Her mom eventually had to let Diana help the Colonel who she was in love with. So not so much gay as just being an Amazon.

  • Rammy

    I would like to see more of him if the guys ask him a few more questions and he isn’t allowed to just rant about how unfair it is to criticize his work. It’s also hard for me to buy this line about “original” material when literally the very next thing he puts out is a Frankenstein reboot. Talk about speaking out of both sides of your mouth. Knowing what that guy knows about the studio system, he should have never taken anything they said personally.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Hardhome was indeed great. But the rest of the season is either filler or utter shit. What they did with Stannis was bordering on self-parody.

  • The Ghost

    I think what bothers me is that there’s a shot at a decent story tucked away in all the brooding. Batman feuding with Superman because he thinks he has too much power is classic Justice League bickering. No reason that can’t work well in a film.

    But it appears to be lost in all this adolescent angst masquerading as mature/adult content crap.

    I know the teaser’s out of context, but Superman looks like some kind of tyrant about to interrogate a seditionist.

  • tOmy`

    I have this odd feeling I was watching a totally different interview than most of people here.

  • tOmy`

    Nah, he is just depressed and sad, because he is in a Snyder movie.

    Which is, ironically, the very same for the actor.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • tOmy`

    We should do the same when Space Cop comes out.

    The twist is that we won’t come.

  • tOmy`

    World used to be a smaller place: So my sticker reply to a comment on an absolutely unrelated webzone got “liked” by somebody called Mitchell Taco Nash.

    This is both fabulous and scary.

  • Bubs

    I have faith that a lot of stuff that was set up in season 5 will pay off next season. But yeah, I can’t really defend the Sand Snakes. It was pretty poorly managed and came off cartoonish.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m gonna be devil’s advocate. It looks better than Man of Steel, which isn’t saying much. But for a dream sequence that’s kind of a neat idea as to showing our heroes fear with out ruining the other because Snyder already did that. Also those assholes still haven’t learned about that blatant continuity error when it comes to taking off Batman’s mask. Whatever to be honest our opinion of a big movie like this doesn’t matter because it will make over a billion dollars. I will say at least they’re putting in effort in this unlike Sony.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What happened to Sully?

  • Bubs

    I have a theory that Sully is actually Max Landis. Just sayin’, last time we heard from him he was working on a script that he was trying to get picked up… Then bam, American Ultra! Also… Sully’s a fox, Max is a dog…. Coincidence? I think NOT!

    Also: it was aliens.

  • LukasH

    It’s almost like some people are just looking to confirm their beliefs about a person. Hmmm. That’s a new one.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Sully has a son and Max doesn’t-wait he does!

    https://youtu.be/0PlwDbSYicM?t=16m41s

  • LukasH

    Interesting. He probably likes your stuff more than me and we’re friends on Facebook. Mystery for sure.

  • LukasH

    It looks more interesting than Man of Steel, as in, it could be such a massively weird thing that it might save it down the line (gotta watch this stupid crap!)

  • Palpatine

    Yeah, Sony’s not producing it, but Zack Synder is still directing it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Snyder at least isn’t working under Sony who had Marc Something chained to a collar following their beck and call.

  • Palpatine

    Plus, David S. Goyer isn’t writing it, so that’s an advantage.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It has the writer of Argo, which was pretty damn well written. Now granted the studio can fuck things up like they did in Man of Steel, they added in that annoying final part of the movie. Also apparently WB went under management chances and those guys are gone. Is that good or bad?

  • You got stalked.

  • Palpatine

    Nevermind, he’s still writing it. Fuck!

    “You are meant to be something different. Something greater.”

  • And I thought only Facebook friends were real friends.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He’s doing story I think. Now Goyer is a good idea man but a bad writer, I hope Ben Affleck was smart enough to realize that and have him kicked off the project because of that Best Picture Oscar.

  • LukasH

    As far as I know, Facebook does not have a “Lover” option.

  • Palpatine

    Isn’t there a verse in Quran about judging others?

  • Palpatine

    Affleck should’ve been the writer/director from the start.

  • LukasH

    There’s a passage from Torah that comes in mind “Tweet unto Max Landis, what you’d want Max Landis to tweet unto you”.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He almost did Star Wars.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “Bring out the gimp”

  • Palpatine

    I’ll have to look for that the next time I read the Old Testament, I mean the Torah.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Imagine if Ben Affleck directed The Force Awakens? He almost did.

  • LukasH

    Same diff

  • Palpatine

    Really?

  • LukasH

    How almost is almost? Because the same applies to David Fincher (who worked on Jedi as an sfx person).

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh yeah.

  • Palpatine

    When was this announced?

  • Palpatine

    He did?

  • LukasH

    He did, I think he worked mainly on Endor stuff.

  • Palpatine

    You got to start somewhere I guess. After all, J.J. Abrams worked on Night Beast, and now he’s directing Star Wars.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    A few weeks before the announce of Abrams.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    OH MY GOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDD

  • LukasH

    Piranha 2 remains the best James Cameron movie, of course.

  • What about “Fuckbuddy”?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He worked on many Roger Corman films.

  • LukasH

    Gimp?

  • Cumbucket?

  • Commander X

    Looking at the childfree subreddit is just like gawking at the same sort of Livejournal communities twelve years ago, complete with people enraged at the thought that children would be allowed into theaters showing childrens’ movies that the CFers themselves wanted to watch. My favorite was the woman who erupted in a long, raging, profanity-laden rant of a post about how awful it was that there were children in the theater when she went to see Disney’s Brother Bear. I mean, seriously.

  • Snake Squeezer

    The parts of the books the fifth season was based on was worse. Yes, a lot more boring. Yes, this is a case where the book was worse than the film (show).

  • Trask

    Batman v Superman reminds me of Mac from It’s Always Sunny. The duster, the project badass, the obvious homoeroticism.

    It’s not gay, it’s badass

  • Snake Squeezer

    No, it’s that it proves Kubrick faked the Mars landing!

  • Snake Squeezer

    Imagine if Jar Jar Binks directed the force awakens?

  • LukasH

    What’s not badass about gay? Don’t tell me you’re one of those pussies that do it with women.

  • Snake Squeezer

    I don’t understand homoeroticism from a sales point of view. They really aren’t that many gay men out there. Why did they put homoeroticism in Top Gun? The gang from Sunny should remake Top Gun. Is that gay? Is Jay Gay? Why is the gay?

  • The name would suggest otherwise.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I assume the ladies like it.

  • Snake Squeezer

    I think being gay would be like making love to Carly Fiorina, but with better fashion and genuine laughter.

  • Snake Squeezer

    I think I’d actually be more interested in TFA if Jar Jar played all the roles, and he actually tired to adopt the proper accents and mannerisms of all the characters. Now that’s entertainment!

  • Snake Squeezer

    Could you imagine Jar Jar doing Chewbacca? Hah! Gay Joke!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    What the hell are “mid-season finales” supposed to be anyway? Is it the same as mid-credit post-credit scenes? For the people who are too impatient to watch the whole thing?

  • Snake Squeezer

    Full on pussy on pussy action! Lol — GAY!!!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Imagine what new dimension the trailer would get if Superman was putting the mask on Batman instead of taking it off.

  • Trask

    I’m guessing you’re not a Sunny fan, I hope the quotations help.

    Also, does the pink man with a mustache not give it away?

  • Palpatine
  • Bubs

    This has been making the rounds for a few weeks now… I mean it was cute when it first showed up on Reddit, and was clearly a troll post that got taken too seriously by the large child population of that website. But Jesus Christ, the internet needs to learn how to let things go. I can’t wait for the fan movie explaining this… and the comics about it… and the cereal… and the spinoff cartoon show… and…

  • Trask

    It gets worse.

    darthjarjar.com

  • Bubs

    Just imagine the problems we could solve in this world if people devoted 1/10th this much effort into solving them. But nope, because poop-jokes…

  • Marvin Falz

    A complete website with a webshop? This is so planned out ahead of time.

  • Bubs

    #GeorgeLucasStrikesBack

  • dollar store cashier wife

    http://i.imgur.com/UkYgzMQ.png

    Ouch I just hurt myself checking that.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I have a better theory: Lucas is a shitty writer.

  • I need BotW to survive. Halp.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Palpatine

    Is the Star Wars talk killing you?

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Ridiculous.

  • Marvin Falz

    The Star Wars hype is like a dumpster emptied out on us. The Jar Jar Sith crap is one of the bigger pieces of trash.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Is the idea of Snoke being Jar Jar worse and more insulting considering how great of an actor Andy Serkis is?

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Fuck all Star Wars “Fan” theories. Actually fuck Star Wars.

  • Palpatine

    It’s going to get bigger in the coming weeks.

  • Marvin Falz

    I can’t give an answer, I stay as far away from everything Star Wars as possible. Exception: RLM and this webzone.

  • Marvin Falz

    Hooraaaaaaay!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Insert erection joke.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I heard a theory that Revan is Kylo Ren because of fuck you.

  • Marvin Falz

    Being Jar Jar must be the biggest insult to every actor.

  • REC is pretty good I thought, though it’s almost 10 years old now.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I am losing my sanity watching Fun in Balloonland.

  • Hey remember when this was funny?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Poor Ahmed Best.

  • Don’t even get me started on the R/NC-17 distinction. The MPAA is notorious across the world for putting too much emphasis on sex over violence. Hence why a movie like The Dreamers which has sex between consenting adults and male nudity is slapped with an NC-17, while something like the Saw films and Hostel 2 get an R.

  • Marvin Falz

    According to IMDb he plays Jar Jar quite often. He also plays other roles, so I take it his career isn’t as fucked as Jake Lloyd’s career.

  • It’s one of the few truly “great bad movies”, along with Troll 2 and Battlefield Earth, that everyone has seen. But I think there are far better bad movies out there (how can you top Things?)

  • Survive! m(*´Д`)m

  • I wonder if Christopher Nolan has erections within his erections.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    You guys must be young. I was shown that movie in elementary school a couple of times. That’s what you get with reel to reel, old movie prints disseminated through the American school system

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Nevermind his career, what about his life..

  • Marvin Falz

    I don’t know. He lives?

  • LukasH

    The noise he makes when he cums would startle the fuck outta you.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    He’s a schizophrenic, with no chance of a normal life. George Lucas fucked him up good..

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    No because of Fuck you..

  • Don’t you think it takes a little more than starring in a shitty movie? Maybe his family/parents are crazy people. Or maybe something entirely different happened behind the scenes.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Fun in Balloonland turned me to the Dark Side. I hope I get Daisy Ridley as a positive.

  • Now I wanna see a porno with that sound during the moneyshot.

  • HIV?

  • Palpatine

    Your welcome.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Why don’t you use your nimble fingers and go look it up on the intertubez. Or are you that pathetic that you can’t leave this comment section for 10 minutes.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Fun in Balloonland gave Charlie Sheen HIV.

  • Palpatine

    Good, let the whatever flow through you or whatever. Whatever.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Funny, I though you were always an asshole…

  • I’d rather not answer that, but I sometimes have 4-5 Disqus tabs open. *Picard facepalm*

  • Earth

    People…leave?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    If you watch it you will come out a changed person.

  • Earth

    jesus, 2007 was almost a decade ago…

  • Marvin Falz

    Seriously? George Lucas is responsible for Jake Lloyd’s mental disorder? How so?

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I’ve seen it a couple of times, as I said earlier. The old public school system had closets full of old reel to reel creepy movies from the 60’s and 70’s. Anything was better than schoolwork, I guess

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Then you are lost!
    -Obi Wan, stupid asshole

  • Earth

    So…sexual labelling is bullshit?

  • Palpatine

    Is it the worst movie you’ve seen?

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    By fucking up his career and life, there have been a couple of articled about him recently. The kid was teased at school for being in the Phantom Menace. His childhood was ripped away by Uncle George then thrown in the trash, to me that’s a from of rape. Ruin a kids life so he can fuck up the story of Anakin Skywalker. Thanks Jake have a nice life…

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Well, lets just say I’m not found..

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I can’t tell at this point. It is as dreadful as Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny and Nukie.

  • Bubs

    I’m pretty sure that if “being teased at school” lead to mental illness, half the world would be batshit insane.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Ahhh, Nukie the snot-nosed alien monkey

  • Earth

    aw Christ I’d completely forgotten about the Dorne story. Jaimie and Bronn fucking around for the entire season then finally something happens at the end. Oh wait, that was Tyrian, Jorah, Arya, Jon Snow, Brienne and Dany’s stories too.

  • Marvin Falz

    A form of rape. Hmm, that’s a difficult topic. I refuse to pin the donkey on George Lucas neck just yet.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Meeeekkkkoooo

  • Marvin Falz

    That would be like saying that (social) injustice automatically leads to terrorism.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    For a little kid who was promised a good life and that he would be the cool kid, yeah that can rip you a new one, but as I keep saying just look it up, listen to him, there are a couple of interviews. I have respect for him and I can understand where he’s coming from. Jake Loyd had no chance at a normal life from a very early age, that can give someone a mental illness for sure.

  • Earth

    “You’re not the hero I deserve, but you’re the one I need right now.”

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    It wouldn’t be that hard, the dudes neck is bigger than his face

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    For a good time type “George Lucas is an idiot” into Google or Bing

  • Marvin Falz

    I remember the scene in the background story of TPM, where he and his parents sign the contract and everything that seemed to matter in this situation was the money. So maybe nobody cared if he was able to handle all the stresses and he didn’t.

    BUT another possibility is that nobody could foresee how he would react. I think it is too easy to blame George Lucas and the parents.

    I haven’t seen his statements. I guess, I won’t.

  • Marvin Falz

    I’m not a fan of hating George Lucas.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    You don’t have to hate him to enjoy the fact that he is an idiot

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    He was like 8 years old, there is no one else to blame but GL and his parents. Jake was a minor and therefore incapable of making those kinds of decisions legally.

  • Marvin Falz

    Are child actors more prone to become insane or develop difficult personalities? Not all child actors become insane or assholes.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Well, A LOT of child actors are fucked up, most actually…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Aside from John Williams, some decent casting decisions, and The Emperor is there any legitimately positive things in the Prequels?

  • My favourite scene is when Padme forcefeeds her twins.

  • Marvin Falz
  • Marvin Falz

    Tatooine looked nice and the shots of Naboo from space at the beginning of TPM and some ship designs and the deployment or whatever it’s called of the droid army on Naboo.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    The Art

  • Palpatine

    The Plinkett reviews.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    It was my understanding that the most major positive things about the prequels, were the things that aren’t in the prequels.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    That applies for 300 too. I thought it looked very gay, but most people think it is badass.

  • Bubs

    We got to see Yoda whip out that little green cock light saber of his and go to town.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Anakin killing the “younglings” was a moment of pure euphoria. some of the production design is quite decent..

  • Bubs

    If having a six pack that goes up to your chin and murdering people all day while bro-fisting your buddies is gay, then call me Elton John.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    the space battles looked good.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Too many semi-naked guys rubbing against each other. It’s like wrestling. Or Masters of the Universe. But to each their own. It’s 2016, almost.

  • Palpatine

    I’ll try spinning, that’s a good trick! Whoaaaa!

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Here’s a good article explaining what happened to Star Wars pot Empire. A bit of hidden history there…

    http://herocomplex.latimes.com/movies/star-wars-was-born-a-long-time-ago-but-not-all-that-far-far-away-in-1972-filmmakers-george-lucas-and-gary-kurtz-wer/

    Here is a link to the brilliant George Lucas In Love, if you haven’t seen it..

    https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=george+lucas+in+love&FORM=VIRE2#view=detail&mid=D60F55E5F235F0152668D60F55E5F235F0152668

  • Bubs

    That’s weird, in the first article you posted, the fifth image from the top; they accidentally put a picture of Dexter Jettster instead of George Lucas…

  • Palpatine

    Okay, is it just me, or do discussions about Star Wars always seem to be the “middle point” between on-topic and off-topic discussions?

  • tOmy`

    The question here is: Do we give a fuck?

  • Palpatine

    Nope!

    #420BlazeItYoloSwag

  • tOmy`

    That’s the thing. I actually did go back…

    There is no chance he knows my FB. And vice versa, actually.

    This is some spooky shit,

  • Those dead youngling bodies sure looked convincing.

  • Twins or doppelgangers? Must be a cut scene, because both sound hot. Kiera Knightley really looked like a clone of Natalie Portman back when she had rounder cheeks.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *The Fart

  • Bob Borries

    That’s OK as long as you don’t hate the fans who hate Lucas.

  • RLMkeepitup

    hope force awakens doesn’t end up like the new battlefront: flashy to look at but lacking substance. Rich n’ Jack looked utterly uninterested in it.

  • Domo

    I think we have officially gone Star Wars batty.

    I blame Adele.

  • I think you’re hellocinating.

  • Newsflash! They don’t care for overly polished mainstream titles.

  • Like Icare

    I’ll just make a note here to remember to read it on the toilet tomorrow. Ain’t technology great?

  • RLMkeepitup

    its all true. Least we get to see the emperor run around on hoth talking smack

  • I played the open beta and thought it was great, but not worth the full price.

  • RLMkeepitup

    smart man. I was curious but I pretty much wait for reviews and stick to previous gen stuff cause money

  • Like Icare

    Shit like that makes me want to be filthy rich.
    So I can hire people to track all the people who give credence to that theory.
    Then other people would create detailed profiles of those people.
    Then when it is proven they are wrong, an army of people dressed as Jar Jar dressed as a stormtrooper would go around after these people with a sign saying “This idiot thought that Jar Jar is a Sith Lord. Every time you point and laugh at them I will pay a dollar for charity.”
    Then while they are walking around followed by Jar Jar, arson specialists would burn their house down.
    And then firemen would find child porn in their homes.
    But it would be CGI porn so they would get a sex offender tag on account of pixels.
    If at that point someone beats them up… I’d have nothing to do with that.




    In hindsight… I MAY have gone too far in few places there.
    Jar Jar stormtroopers ARE a bit too much and would be too confusing.

  • Like Icare
  • You can sink up to ~120€ into the game itself and all the announced DLC to get the full experience.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I’m still a little upset that I spent $70.00 on what amounts to playing with a cool set of digital star wars toys, but with no variety. Typical Lucasfilm rip-off.

  • Like Icare

    Well… that’s more on his parents and on the fact that he doesn’t have much talent or control.

    Christian Bale had similar issues after doing the Empire of the Sun.
    Granted, he was 3 years older but guys still wanted to beat him up, girls still wanted to jump his bones, journalists and paparazzi were still all over him and at that point he didn’t want to ever do any more acting because of all that crap.
    And then he became Batman.

  • Like Icare

    I have an even better theory: Internet is the major refuge for people with undiagnosed mental issues.

  • Like Icare

    Not necessarily.

    Back in the days of the Fridge, all it took was couple of hundred posts on imdb for someone to come up with a nukethefridge site selling T-shirts and whatnot.
    It was up literally within minutes.

    #theFutureIS

  • Like Icare

    That sounds like David Lynch’s Rabbits.

  • Like Icare

    It ain’t the naked guys. It’s the feeling of “fun” about it.
    Apocalypto is also full of semi-naked guys rubbing on and rubbing out each other – but it never feels gay. Or badass.
    It feels like watching horrible murders not fun killings.

  • Like Icare

    Imagine if we didn’t know that they are pulling a Mandarin with that?

  • Like Icare

    Chicks like the gays.

    It’s like guilt-free adultery. There isn’t an equivalent for guys.
    Your girl/wife catches you with a drawing of a nipple… it better match your own, and you better have some explanation like feeling a lump there.

  • Like Icare
  • RLMkeepitup

    From what I hear having EA games on the case doesn’t help :

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Praising Xenu.

  • Cynical Optimist

    You could have had it allllllllllllllllll

  • Palpatine

    So speaking of Space Wars, does anyone else like listening to film soundtracks for no particular reason? And doesn’t even have to be the soundtracks to Galaxy Wars, I mean just any film in general.

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    That’s why Pre-Rec will always be a second rate piece of shit

  • Most of the time they are not able to back up their opinions with some valid arguments. They’re narrow-minded and like to stay inside their respective comfort zones.

  • Domo

    I lived for the Jurassic Park score as a teen.

  • Bubs

    LOTR soundtrack all day erry day. And various video game soundtracks. I’m particularly fond of The Black Mages (metal versions of Final Fantasy)

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    Yeah, I’ve called them pussies before

  • jay (Fragnon) stein

    I like the Star Trek series, the Tron Legacy soundtrack is one of my favorites. I like a lot of Howard Shore (not particularly the LOTR) I like Shores work with Cronenberg. Dead Ringers is a beautiful soundtrack

  • RLMkeepitup

    you inspired me to open my soundtracks folder, so now yes

  • Watched this in Michigan.

  • Oh, hey, #98. You guys are timing this to do the new Star Wars at #100. Super slick move!

  • Hard to say with the films, but all the comics set in the Prequel era were damn good for the most part! And that Tartakovsky cartoon too!

  • RLMkeepitup

    winter is coming

  • The harlot, she never stops.

  • RLMkeepitup

    i can’t handle that much schwartz

  • Angry Picard

    No, they really neutured it. Devs are like movie studios. They fuck it up to squeeze as much money as possible. Cutting important features to save money and sell half finished games to make you finish it with season passes and DLC.

  • Angry Picard

    I hope episode 100 is released right after star wars, but its just a clip show of all their sketches, just because I love suffering

  • Some kind of epic trolling. Perhaps reviewing the infamous “Turkish Star Wars” instead!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I actually really like Grievous design-wise. He was just horribly mistreated in the prequels.

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • LukasH

    All the damn time. Lots of James Newton Howard stuff. It just makes you wish all the crappy Shyamalan movies would be at least 25% as good.

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  • Red Skeleton

    I don’t get why the RLM guys got so arsed about the Michigan joke. They’re from Wisconsin. Michigan and Wisconsin are worlds apart.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    all day every day. I’m currently hooked on Sicario’s soundtrack.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s a JJ Abrams film. Of course it will have no substance. It will be flashy tho.

  • Spoiled Ants

    I’m not in the loop when it comes to StarWars news, I just recently heard about this DarthJarJarth theory.
    And to be honest, if it turns out to be true, it’d be so absurd that I would actually pay to watch it.

  • Joe Syxpac

    I was in Michigan last week.

    Then it snowed and I left.

  • bleurgh

    Despite the Plinkett reviews I kind of enjoy the final battle in Phantom, even if it was redundant and meaningless story-wise. Apart from that, nothing. It helps that there’s no dialogue in that scene and that Neeson and McGregor are good actors so they can wrench some pathos from nothing.

  • bleurgh

    Finally someone who sees season 3 for the shitshow it was. I encounter so many people who wrongly think Season 2 is the shows nadir, because “it was just a bunch of people hanging at a farm man”, as if season 3 wasn’t the worst written shitty excuse for a series ever.

  • Joe Syxpac

    CGI child porn is illegal?

    I’m off to delete some stuff that has nothing to do with this conversation at all.

  • tOmy`

    Both.

  • tOmy`

    Pod racing. It gave us that pod racing game.

  • tOmy`

    With 2 days to Coldplay, the only remedy is dubstep.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VibARyAk6I

  • tOmy`

    Tron Legacy is obviously bombastic. The remix version is also very fine.

  • tOmy`

    Once theeereee waaaas liiiiight, now daaaarkness faaaaaalls.

    Rohan + The Bridge Of Khazad Dum are masterpieces.

  • tOmy`

    Jack and Rich not liking Battlefront? Unimaginable!

  • tOmy`

    I was always surprised that he didn’t keep his saber inside the cane.

  • tOmy`

    Don’t forget the moment when it was over.

  • Like Icare

    Well, the joke was meant to be that it is not real but it can still get people in trouble.

    The funny bit is that it is not a joke.
    The HILARIOUS bit is that it is not just CGI, children or humanoids.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PROTECT_Act_of_2003

    – Prohibits computer-generated child pornography when “(B) such visual depiction is a computer image or computer-generated image that is, or appears virtually indistinguishable from that of a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct”; (as amended by 1466A for Section 2256(8)(B) of title 18, United States Code).

    – Prohibits drawings, sculptures, and pictures of such drawings and
    sculptures depicting minors in actions or situations that meet the Miller test of being obscene, OR are engaged in sex acts that are deemed to meet the same obscene condition. The law does not explicitly state that images of fictional beings who appear to be under 18 engaged in sexual acts that are not deemed to be obscene are rendered illegal in and of their own condition (illustration of sex of fictional minors).

    – Maximum sentence of 5 years for possession, 10 years for distribution.

    Technically… you could get 5 years for possession of an “obscene” drawing of two chables engaged in “prurient” and “patently offensive” activities without artistic, scientific, political or literary merit – according to Joe Sixpack.

    HI-fucking-LARIOUS!

    Would you like to know moe?
    http://cbldf.org/criminal-prosecutions-of-manga/

  • Like Icare

    They’re gonna need a bigger jar of acetone.

  • LukasH

    I have!

  • MonkeyKing1969

    In the Heart of the Sea = they eat people.

  • tOmy`

    So, back to the good stuff: What other monsters / folklore beings / cryptozoology totally real animals would you like to see in a movie?

  • LukasH

    Get in the fucking exile!

  • tOmy`

    Harrison Ford after seeing TFA:

    “It’s a wonderful movie,” he said. “It’s got great production values. It’s a real big movie and I was delighted to see it.”

    He went on to say that it was the sequel’s “really good script” that persuaded him to reprise the role of Han Solo, and “the opportunity to work with JJ [Abrams]”.

    JJ had some reassuring words regarding the film’s lightsaber duels earlier in the week, saying they would feel more “primitive and rougher” like the ones in the original trilogy rather than be about CGI and acrobatics like in the prequels.

  • LukasH

    To answer the question, I’d like to see some nice Devil. Ole Lou needs a good PR.

  • This post was sponsored by the Walt Disney Company.

  • LukasH

    This post was sponsored by the Walt Disney Company.

  • You spelled Walt Disney wrong. Adolf Hitler would’ve been the correct way. 9+11 = My bush did an inside job!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “It’s got great production values”

    I’m shocked that a $200 million dollar movie has that. What a plesant and unexpected surprise!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Live action tasmanian devil movie starring Rob Schneider is what I want.

    Rated PG-13.

  • tOmy`

    O