Half in the Bag: Cheap Thrills and The Grand Budapest Hotel

March 29, 2014821 Comments

After a failed Weekend at Bernie’s homage, Jay and Mike discuss two non-Hollywood films in an attempt to regain their sanity.


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  • ident

    I knew refreshing every 5 minutes for 36 straight hours would pay off! I made this happen!!!

    • Ledechev

      I helped!

      • Jason

        part time.

        • shanebroughton

          Why did you say it so weird?

    • Percy Gryce

      And to think, Bisone used to have to sacrifice goats and perform other dark rituals to make this happen.

      • Mark Bisone

        What do you think happened to that plane, motherfucker?

        • Percy Gryce

          Welcome back, you lovable a*hole.

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          The one that crashed into a field on 7/11?…

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            No no. The one in Con Air that landed on the Las Vegas strip.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            There’s a strip scene in Last Vegas? Gross.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            How can you not like Morgan Freeman’s performance art?

      • Dr. Blake Downs

        Who’s to say it didn’t work? We clearly got content. It seems to me we all have to join him in these rituals to get content more frequently from these hacks.

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          They probably just want more money so they can do things with the goats themselves. Terrible things.

          • Paul Schumann

            Now there’s goat simulator for that… http://kotaku.com/goat-simulator-is-finally-here-and-its-wonderful-1554003611
            (film related: it has an achievement titled “MICHAEL BAY”)

          • Now I Get It

            Wtf? W(hy)tf? W(ho)tf? W(hen)tf? W(here)tf?

            Hey, I just realised: I must be a journalist. …W(ow)tf!

          • Paul Schumann

            the bar is pretty low for games journalism…
            (which isn’t saying much since regular journalism is in the toilet)

          • Now I Get It

            Do you have a go-to site for reviews on specs and game play?

          • Paul Schumann

            Not really, but for reliability I’d go with Off Duty Gamers for solid reviews. http://www.offdutygamers.com/ They are all vets and reviews are about whether the game’s fun, is it accurate in military details, and what’s the gameplay like. The only downside is they don’t cover a lot of games.

            The big sites all seem to have pretty similar takes on the big “AAA” titles so I won’t just depend on one for all my news. Also, it’s now in vogue for progressive gaming writers to mingle at Polygon and selectively cry about the “patriarchy,” sexism (which there is, no doubt), & “equality” for same-sex-attracted folks in games.

            I only game on PC, so often I end up looking at the Steam user reviews of games. (And I never buy games at full price… Always wait for a steam sale) Today, my favorite game is Verdun, a WWI shooter that’s in pre-release mode on steam. Forces you to work together with your team to win.

            In a final bit of shameless self-promotion, I wrote an essay on BioShock: Infinite, based solely on the religious elements in game. http://unpleasantaccents.blogspot.com/2013/12/god-and-man-at-columbia.html My buddy was kind enough to host it on his blog.

          • Now I Get It

            Well, this took a “minute.”

            I’d heard about the Objectivist motifs in Bioshock, but didn’t know that the game had become an epicentre for cultural references. I wonder, then, if that’s why you found the theme of its second edition unsatisfying. If what that whole series is doing is wrestling out its creator’s own conflicting intellectual influences, then maybe each edition has to end up being neither this nor that, not purely Objectivist, not purely Christian, and so forth.

            And I wonder, further, if Fr. Sirico’s Acton Institute will it exhaust its agenda, similarly, to no unequivocal conclusion?

            http://www.patheos.com/blogs/inebriateme/2014/03/new-distributism-1-the-real-problem-with-vaticanomics-or-why-we-need-a-new-catholic-economics/#comment-1310634476

            P.S. Offdutygamers.com was exactly as you described: a little thin on reviews, but quite well-organized. Fortunately, they had hardware reviews, as I need a new mouse.

          • Paul Schumann

            If you want a *nice* gaming mouse that’s not really expensive, I’d recommend the Corsair Vengeance I just got for my brother. I think it was $50 on Amazon. Supposedly guaranteed for billions of clicks.
            I have a R.A.T.^7 but it’s kind of wonky every once in a while so I have to reset the settings.

          • Now I Get It

            Thanks. The reviews I read on the higher end mice left me no wiser. They paid such serious attention to detail that I couldn’t weigh all the factors. Some things I just need to be told.

          • Paul Schumann

            It may be that, but if the story of Infinite was as cohesive as the “objectivist themed” BioShock, I’d give it more credit for being enjoyable.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Post hoc ergo propter hoc, i.e. RLM and RLM fans thank you.

  • Joe Bloggs

    YES YES YES!

  • Matias Rivero

    YES! a new HITB!

  • Fart Face

    “After a failed Weekend at Bernie’s homage, Jay and Mike discuss two non-Hollywood films in an attempt to regain their sanity.”
    Woah, for a second I thought that the last word was ‘credibility’, and I KNEW that didn’t make sense… HAHAHA, Love you guys!

  • thomtinuviel

    Budapest…’TIS SO SYMMETRICAL

  • Ubik

    Continuity errors made this episode even more fun.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    “I only have the power of Greyskull.”
    Jay– Waaaaaay confirmed for gay.

  • Goose511th

    Listen to this while they try to get Barry S. Plinkett’s skeleton out of the office: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcDsBVZvRDM

    • Percy Gryce

      This music track runs a little short for the skeleton-removal scene. Got any other recommendations?

      • Gene Parmesan

        I think this suits everything.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KaOrSuWZeM

        • Jason

          I see the director’s cut of Prometheus is finally out.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            “All your questions will be answered.”

            LIES!!!!!

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          We need some more levity for those who are deaf. By the power of Grayscale!

        • Paulus Cañamonjas

          3.430.124 fucking views! :O

  • Aquaman

    Never heard of Cheap Thrills til now… lol, now I’m curious to watch it. Grand Budapest is a must see!

  • LelouchtheFilial

    I can see why Mike remembers that episode of The Simpsons, what with the panda raping Homer and all.

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      Rape jokes, he loves them!

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Almost as much as he loves sexist jokes and incestuous blow job jokes, the latter being a subset of rape jokes as it was statutory rape. Here’s proof:

  • Matias Rivero

    “Laugh you asshole, laugh” -Mike Stoklasa

  • fskn

    Alright, alright, please stop with that ending, I can’t stand it anymore!

  • kuhpunkt

    Hey, Godzilla and The Raid 2 are upcoming movies! Both look very good.

    • dollar store cashier wife

      mindless action is indeed the epitome of cinematic quality.

      • kuhpunkt

        Who says those movies are mindless action? Godzilla by Gareth Edwards will be a serious movie. Just watch his debut movie “Monsters” and you will seem that he his simply the perfect choice.

        And The Raid 2 won’t be mindless as well. The first one was short on that, but it was never stupid and offensive like this Transformers crap. And the second one will be much different, spanning over several years instead of just one day. It’s almost 2 1/2 hours long for fucks sake.

        • dollar store cashier wife

          Show me one giant monster movie that got something else going for it besides the action.Also I’m pretty sure Gareth Edwards didn’t made Monsters with a bunch of studio executives breathing down his neck.Few people get creative freedom in hollywood and I can bet he’s not one of them.

          • kuhpunkt

            Actually, the first Godzilla movie from 1954 was very dark in tone and that movie wasn’t about the action at all. Most people think of all those cheesy movies when they hear Godzilla. And sure, most of those are just that – mindless fun. Or sometimes just crap. But Godzillas origin is something else. Emmerich’s attempt didn’t have anything what Godzilla stands for. The new movie looks quite the opposite with most focus on the human story with some clever twists. And sure, Godzilla has a bigger budget than Monsters, but reports mention, that he continued his style and made this movie like an independent flick. And the trailers support just that.

          • dollar store cashier wife

            Hopefully.It’s easy to appear as a hopeless cynic on the internet but giving the benefit of the doubt to big movies more often then not just gives negative results

          • kuhpunkt

            Sure. I’m not hyped in any way, but I’m looking forward to it very much. And I’m sure some people will be disappointed because this won’t be a fun movie, but also many people might be surprised, because they won’t expect something like Edwards take on it. Monsters is one of my favourite movies of the past years and I’ve seen enough people who there like “duh, there are almost no monsters, wtf”. And in the end, I’m a sucker for giant monster battles, then they are combined with a good human drama at its core… like the Evangelion franchise. Pacific Rim was much fun, but lacked good characters. Godzilla… I’m sure it won’t be bad. And the cast is damn good as well.

            If I had to guess, expecting 7/10 or 8/10 is fair and well reasoned. If it’s better, awesome.

          • Pa Kent Says Maybe

            So, you’re admitting it. Your mind’s made up. There’s nothing that is going to persuade you otherwise.

            Now, you understand mindlessness. You’re practically ONE with it.

            GODFUCKINGZILLA

            A movie which needn’t be made but is made anyway, because, well, art is for faggots.

          • kuhpunkt

            What the fuck are you talking about? What’s wrong with Godzilla? That’s fucking part of movie history about a very serious topic.

          • ident

            Giant monsters attacking Japanese cities are a very serious topic. Godzilla destroys Japan in 1954 and exactly 60 years later a “giant monster” called the NSA is reading our e-mails. Coincidence? Wake up, sheeple!

          • kuhpunkt

            You know what a metapher is, right?

          • ident

            Sounds unamerican to me…or something an NSA spy would ask.

          • Cameron Vale

            Who gives a crap how dark it is?

          • kuhpunkt

            People do? Godzilla just works in 2 ways – either dark and serious or camp. Not somewhere in between. And Edwards upcoming movie treats the monster attack as a serious threat with a meaning behind it. And that is the best way to approach it. There’s always Pacific Rim for the popcorn entertainment.

        • KonradZell

          “Monsters” was made by essentially an amateur director, writer, and cameraman (all the same guy, actually) and with amateur actors, and boy did it show. Maybe we’ll be surprised, but I wouldn’t use ‘Monsters” as a selling point for “Godzilla.”

          • kuhpunkt

            Is every director’s debut work of an amateur? And sure, everyone but the 2 main characters were just locals, but the 2 main characters were no amateurs at all. (and the female lead is cute as hell!)

            And Monsters was more or less just a road movie, but I loved very second of it. It was kinda slow, but the world felt so lived in and it looked so stunning. Amazing cinematography.

            Godzilla is simply a logic consequence to that. Just a bigger budget, more horror/terror, more action and Bryan Cranston + Elizabeth Olsen = win.

          • KonradZell

            When it comes to motion pictures, and seeing as how he never made a major feature before, pretty much yeah, actually. And boy did it show. The film was mostly shot in the countryside of places like Costa Rica and Belize. If you can’t get landscape shots (which is what I assume you’re referring to regarding the “amazing cinematography”) out of those place, you truly suck as a director.

            If you consider wooden acting, zero chemistry between the two leads (impressive consider the actors were apparently a couple in real life), a weak script (my favorite line is “That’s the biggest man-made object I’ve ever seen!”), and ham-fisted attempts at social commentary (yeah, yeah, space aliens, illegal aliens, the monsters are the people, not the aliens, etc. all VERY original and clever, got it…). If you enjoyed that mediocrity then yes I’m sure you’re very excited for Godzilla 2014.

          • kuhpunkt

            So every director is an amateur, even if his/her first film is a masterpiece? That’s rubbish.

            And no, I mean the general look of the film. Even the destroyed village etc. is just beautifully shot.

            Wooden acting? I thought their performance was pretty good and represented their “complicated” relationship just fine. Weak script? The movie had no script. Social commentary? A bit, sure. But ham-fisted? What’s District 9 in comparison? It’s not “VERY original” and it doesn’t need to be. Is Before Sunrise/Sunset/Midnight so original? Nope. It’s just 2 people talking and walking around. And it’s perfect at what it does.

            Monsters is a simple film. So? It’s not pretentious or whatever. It’s just a story about 2 people on a trip in a very well established and lived in world. There’s nothing mediocre about that. With these limited resources it’s simply impressive.

        • Pa Kent Says Maybe

          You need to spend some time with a dictionary.

          You seem to think “mindless” isn’t an appropriate word to describe mindlessness, but it is.

          What does two and a half hours have to do with anything?

          • kuhpunkt

            What I said… according to the reviews, it actually has a lot of story with several mafia clans fighting for power spanning several years (what I said before). Some people even compared it to The Departed/Infernal Affairs. You don’t pack that much stuff in 80 minutes. Sure, Transformers 4: I shit in my pants again is also 2+ hours.

            Berandal won’t be mindless at all. Most definitly not great or anything on that level, but still complex and far from being dumb shit.

        • http://www.avclub.com/users/ebuzz-miller,65313/ E.Buzz Miller

          Isn’t there a difference between mindless and well made action?
          I’m sure not planning on seeing Godzilla for it’s characters and plot, but it could still be a well made Kaiju film.
          Plus the cast is really intriguing.

          • kuhpunkt

            Of course there is a difference. Transformers is mindless and even though the effects are good, the action is crap, because you can never really see what’s going on and who is fighting whom. Pacific Rim on the other hand was easy to follow.

            And Godzilla will be very much about the characters. I mean, if you don’t really have someone to root for, it can easily become shallow and forgettable. The first Godzilla from 1954 was very much about the plot and the responsibility of man. Because mankind created Godzilla and the movie is also about how to kill Godzilla. The new one by Edwards picks up on that… with a twist.

          • http://www.avclub.com/users/ebuzz-miller,65313/ E.Buzz Miller

            Wait…have you seen it?

          • kuhpunkt

            Sadly no, but from a preview of the first act, the trailers and some interviews, the premise of the story is kinda easy to see – which makes the movie imho extremely interesting and I have no fucking clue where the story is heading. And I love that. If you want, I can explain a bit more.

      • LelouchtheFilial

        The Raid had juuuuuuuust enough of a plot to make you invested in what was happening.
        I remember what Jay said about Die Hard– “It wasn’t a SMART movie, but it was a smartly-MADE movie.”
        I’d say the same thing about Raid.
        The one in the blue bottle.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        I see that this comment has produced a bunch comments from people arguing back and fourth. Well done. :)

    • http://hardycases.com/ Hale

      I saw an advanced screening of Raid 2 a few weeks ago aaaand…

      …It was pretty damn good. Did you see their Dredd review where they mentioned the violence was filmed in a way that made it both beautiful and grotesque at the same time? That’s pretty much every action scene in he movie.

      • kuhpunkt

        Yeah, the reviews after the Sundance screening were… well… pretty damn good :P

        I watched the trailers about 50 times each, because it’s just so nuts. The Raid was already great and Gareth Evans surely knows what he’s doing. So Gareth Evans and Gareth Edwards = fuck yeah.

      • Paul Schumann

        Hmm, interesting. Cause the Raid was kind of exhausting to me. The fight sequences involving dudes getting punched and kicked and then running and getting punched and kicked some more just didn’t seem realistic. Sort of like how in Expendables (1 or 2 I can’t remember) Stallone is punching this guy and getting punched and you hear the theater rumbling as bones are getting crunched, yet they’re all fine with no lasting damage.

        I get that its stylized violence, but those two movies took me out of it. I think trying to be super-gritty n realistic isn’t the best combination with throwback 80′s action heroics…

        • Striker, Ted

          At a certain point a fight scene stops being a fight and becomes a dance recital, the Raid was fun, but suffered from that.

        • http://hardycases.com/ Hale

          I think the new one might be a little more up your alley. There’s alot more variety in terms of location and action, and the build-up to each fight is fairly slow and tense. In general, it’s also just shot gorgeously, and I’m not strictly talking about the fights.

          Compared to the last one and most action movies, the characters also look genuinely fatigued after an action scene, though thats partially because the violence is alot more intense.

          Like, not in a way that would make someone yell, “OH YEAH, SHE BASHED THAT GUY’S HEAD IN WITH A HAMMER!” More like, “Oh, yeah, she bashed that guy’s head in with a hammer…”

          (Unless you’re into that sorta thing)

          • Paul Schumann

            Sounds good. When I hear people hyping The Raid, I can’t help but compare it to the Tropa De Elite films, which I prefer. The action in those films is intense and enjoyable, but a tad more realistic and in briefer intervals.
            I’ll definitely check out this new one.

  • Svas Tara

    fuqing finally!
    you haaaaaaaaaaaaaaacks!
    woof! woof!

  • noxcovenant

    This was the worst HITB I’ve ever watched.

    I’ll expand when I press play and actually watch it though.

    • LelouchtheFilial

      It was okay.
      I haven’t seen it, but that’s my review of it.

      • Domo_Konnichiwa

        HATE’ed it!

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        You’re both wrong, but I’ll explain further once I actually read your comments and watch this video and learn English.

  • LukeMM95

    That ending was fucking brilliant!

  • LelouchtheFilial

    “I appreciate them letting that scene go on for twenty-five minutes.”
    –Jay, on the last scene of this episode.
    I went on for ENTIRELY too long and I really, really loved it.

    • Jason

      it* went on for entirely too long. #facepalm I was about to up your post and then THAT happened. L2 proofread n00b!

      • LelouchtheFilial

        Huh?
        Oh, I was talking about my masturbation.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        #whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

        Hashtags are a fucking cancer to society.

        • Jason

          #yadontsay

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            I know you were using it ironically. For some reason I just had to get my disdain for hashtags out there.

          • Jason

            oh…so I guess this isn’t the best time to mention that you can keep up to date on all the whacky shenanigans of Mike, Jay and the whole gang at twitter.com/redlettermedia #toosoon?

  • Benzo

    Erm, guys. Maybe get rid of the clock next time you shoot the opening scene…

  • Percy Gryce

    Jay has the power.

    • LelouchtheFilial

      Jay having the Power of Greyskull is the most blatant confirmation for gay I can think of.
      They’d better get Jay a lady-friend or have him check out a big-titted woman in the next Half in the Bag episode in order to convince the audience he’s got the Not-Gays.

      • omitted

        NOOOOOOUUUUUU!!!! Get those filthy females off my Jay!

      • Jason

        why do you think they have him chugging an ice cold beer in every scene? everyone knows the gays don’t like beer.

      • http://www.avclub.com/users/ebuzz-miller,65313/ E.Buzz Miller

        It’s two guys sitting around and not ogling women or talking sports, therefore the gayest thing ever a poll of 16 year old boys from the midwest says.

        • LelouchtheFilial

          I conducted that poll from inside the bushes.

      • Percy Gryce

        Bring back Gillian! What’s ticket from Waco to Milwaukee cost anyway?

  • Meester Smeeth

    I can’t wait for you guys to not watch Justice League and then not talk about it because you’ve seen it all before and there’s nothing left to say. Could this be the beginning of a new age of Half In The Bag?

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      I would love to see them rip Wonder Woman apart. That movie’s just begging for a slaughter fest of criticism.

      • Meester Smeeth

        You never know. It might be really good. Ha!

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          I don’t know. I always thought of Wonder Woman as someone who was built and had the same attitude as someone like Lucy Lawless. I just don’t have high hopes for the movie.

          • Meester Smeeth

            Nor do I. I don’t know what you reckon to Affleck being cast as Wayne but, personally, I was looking forward to seeing his interpretation. Then they cast Lady Smug Tart as Wonder Woman and Snotty Snot McSnot as Lex Luthor and I honestly don’t give a shit anymore.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            I just looked to see who they’re casting for Luthor. That’s a bit shocking. I understand the backlash for Affleck, but I know why the studios are ok with him on board. He just got an Oscar for Argo. To the studios he’s a big deal, and probably has a bunch of clout, but that doesn’t translate to studio audience approval.

            I don’t care what he’s done to redeem himself from Gigli/Daredevil. He’s no different to me than Hayden Christensen.

          • Meester Smeeth

            Other than Star Wars, the only thing I’ve seen Hayden Christensen in is Jumper, which I rather enjoyed. I quite liked him in that. Everyone’s fucking awful in the Star Wars prequels, though, through no fault of their own, really.
            And I can completely understand people taking Affleck as Batman as shit news, but I don’t mind him at all. At least his casting and involvement in general kind of makes sense, whereas everyone else announced since has seemingly been picked out of a hat.
            Fuck it, as long as it’s fucking miserable (because miserable = deep and meaningful and mature) I’ll be happy as a pig in sugar.
            Warner Brothers and D.C. need to give the kids their toys back, or at least let them have a go. It’s their turn, god nibblets!

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            Did somebody say nibblets?!

          • Cameron Vale

            Wonder Woman is rarely well cast. Like Superman, you’re not meant to identify with her, and nowadays this is very confusing to people.

          • Meester Smeeth

            They could have come up with someone better than Gal Gadot, though, surely. Someone who doesn’t have all the charisma of a damp plank of wood would be a great place to start.

          • Cameron Vale

            I don’t see why DC wouldn’t try to follow up its surprisingly good track record of direct-to-DVD animated superheroes. I think this is what Marvel Studios is doing, and I used to think this is what Nolan and Goyer were doing until I saw Man of Steel.

    • ident

      And it’s so frustrating to talk to younger people who think this shit is fresh. I hate you, young people. I hate your youth and I hate your stupid full head of hair. Fuck you.

  • Percy Gryce

    This is weird. HITB is now set in my office.

    • Now I Get It

      And just when was it that you decided to become an actuary?

      • Percy Gryce

        Right after I was disbarred.

        • Now I Get It

          I was disbarred for awhile, then I was dat bard.

          • Percy Gryce

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      You don’t have a phone in your office, either?

  • Percy Gryce

    Jay, check your goram facts: Stefan Zweig was Austrian.

  • Now I Get It

    Yaaaaay! It’s Mike’s half-brother.

    • Percy Gryce

      That was my thought too. Damn, the Stoklasa family tree is getting as complicated as Plinkett’s.

    • sepiajack

      Half brother

      • Now I Get It

        760-odd comments later I discover that I chose the wrong user name. Time for a new account.

        EDIT: Apparently someone has already scooped Now You Tell Me.

        There’s nothing for it.
        See you ’round, boners.
        NIGI out!

        • sepiajack

          Oh nigi please!

        • Now This Is Podracing

          I can’t believe you didn’t take this one.

    • Jason

      Whoever he is, he does a really good straight man routine. I hope he becomes a regular.

      • Now I Get It

        The man was downright poised delivering those lines, as if he has a self all his own and experienced the world outside of the arts. …An unlikely hypothesis, I know.

        • Jason

          well, there’s more to being a straight man than just acting normal; it’s acting normal while dealing with complete chuckleheads. remember how Jimmy Fallon would ruin every SNL skit by cracking up in the middle of it? that’s an example of a bad straight man. of course that was Fallon’s “thing” apparently, and why people liked him…or so I’m told.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            The only person allowed to laugh in his skit is Eddie Murphy, because his routine was that damn good. Fallon’s just a hack.

          • Now I Get It

            That’s true – some guys got it and some guys don’t.

            Fallon was after my time, thankfully, but I do remember Harvey Korman cracking up in most any sketch with partner Tim Conway, because neither was a true straight man. The difference was that most of the audience loved their corpsing shtick, whereas I can imagine Fallon wearying his audience out of sheer incompetence. In fact, it’s possible that, by hosting a talk show, Fallon has landed exactly where he belongs.

            Tidbit: Korman appears in the documentary on gore-genre founder Herschell Gordon Lewis, who put Korman in one of his early skin flicks.

  • Monty

    But is the continuity error of the appearing and disappearing Red Letter Media Sign in the outer room proof that they are indeed hack frauds? Or is it a show of their true and subtle genius. An exploration into the over use of product placement in modern cinema perhaps??

    • Percy Gryce

      Yes.

    • dollar store cashier wife

      jar jar is the key to all of this.

      • sepiajack

        If we can get him working…

        • Jason

          More Star Wars review references? Here we go again…

          • sepiajack

            C3P0!

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Please Captain America, shield me from this nonmedy.

          • Striker, Ted

            Star Wars review references are like sand, they’re coarse, rough, and they get everywhere.

        • Striker, Ted

          It’s gonna be great.

        • http://www.avclub.com/users/ebuzz-miller,65313/ E.Buzz Miller

          From my point of view the Bauman are evil.

      • Popo Bawa

        Turn the key, and the door is ajar jar…

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      The computer monitor by Mike’s left hand disappeared, too, because crap PC products can’t handle a toy skeleton being thrown around.

      • Monty

        Aw man, now I’ve to watch the whole thing again!

  • Jean-François Martel

    OH MY GOOOOOD!

    • omitted

      Yes, that is the appropriate reaction to seeing Jay

  • Percy Gryce

    Psst. Here’s a hint, go to work and watch it on the clock. That’s what I do.

    • WrongWithYourFace

      Or you could do it in the hospital.

      • Domo_Konnichiwa

        Or the morgue!

        • Percy Gryce

          I wish.

      • Percy Gryce

        Thanks for reminding me, a*hole. I had urological surgery last Monday. The doc had to blast a 21 mm stone still up in the kidney. Here’s the 6-7 mm stone that I actually passed:

        • Mark Bisone

          Holy shit! Your k-stone is the spitting image of Mike Stoklasa’s profile stamped on a silver disk!

          Potential money mine there, my friend.

          • Percy Gryce

            See, if you’d been coming around here a little more frequently, I would have laughed a lot more and I probably could have avoided this whole mess.

        • WrongWithYourFace

          Do you put the stones in a special little box so you can look back at all the good times you had?

          • Percy Gryce

            Goram, have I become that obvious?

            I do actually have such a box. I justify it as a continuation of the early modern tradition of gentlemen keeping a Wunderkammer of art, antiquities, and natural historical oddities, including taxidermy and various gall, kidney, and bladder stones.

          • WrongWithYourFace

            Why else would you have it next to your coin collection? Good excuse, I give you that. I used to have my teeth in a box. No idea where that is now, though.

        • ident

          Stop eating stones, you nut.

        • catnep

          They look like just like cat treats!

  • Jason

    I actually like Wes Anderson’s particular brand of whimsy, but based on the trailer I honestly thought #GBH was a parody or knockoff of Wes Anderson’s style. It’s the equivalent of Arnold Schwarzenegger saying “I’ll be back.” over and over again for 90 minutes: we get it, it’s your thing, but you don’t have to saturate every inch of your movie with it. I need some breathing room, Wes, maybe we should see other people for a while, just to see how it feels.

    • ident

      But Wes Anderson loves you even when he hurts you. Don’t you know that? He just gets so whimsical sometimes he can’t help it. Really, it’s your fault. You make him do it by watching his films. You can’t leave Wes Anderson. Wes Anderson will cut you like he cut Owen Wilson! —Wait, don’t go. Wes Anderson didn’t mean that. Damn.

      • Jason

        You mean he cut Luke AND Owen Wilson? That does it, this maniac must be stopped, and there’s only one person who can handle a job like this…someone get Nadine on the phone, now!

        • ident

          Well, if I can take you behind the scenes a bit, I was actually referring to Owen Wilson’s suicide attempt.

          • Jason

            oh, right. real life. why’d you have to bring that into this?

  • Percy Gryce

    ADR.

  • Svas Tara

    is this attorney guy mikes older brother or something? :D they sound almost identical (plus look a bit alike;)

    • ident

      In my slash fiction they are.

  • Michael Aronson

    As someone who really hasn’t loved the Marvel Studios filmed, certainly much less than Mike and Jay have, I thought Cap 2 was their best production. I hope they give it a shot. Maybe it’s a film made by a studio committee, but it’s one that really has a clear and inspired vision.

    • sepiajack

      How did you see it? It’s not even out yet is it??

      • Michael Aronson

        Aha, I thought it wasn’t out in the US yet.

        I’m not in the US.

        • sepiajack

          Oh okay, I’m in Canada but we must have the same release as the US, I was just google searching and I see it was released internationally first. Kinda weird for a movie called captain america to be released last in america. I’m glad it was good though, I’m looking forward to it. The Marvel movies may be studio/committee movies, but I’ve enjoyed each of them in their own way so far.

          • Michael Aronson

            Funny thing, in Korea (where I live), the first Captain America movie wasn’t even called “Captain America: The First Avenger.” It was simply called “The First Avenger” in Korean. Cap 2 retains its full title, though.

            But yeah, you’ll fucking love it. I came into this film with something of a negative bias, as the first Cap is the only Marvel Studios film I hadn’t seen, because I expected it to be boring. But Cap 2? Better than the first Iron Man, easily.

            It’s the only Marvel Studios film that has a good third act. All the other third acts have been crap.

          • sepiajack

            I liked the 3rd act of THOR 2 just because it reached Doctor Who levels of weird and wacky, but yeah I would agree otherwise, Avengers aside. I was curious when they hired the Russo bros if they could handle the big action since their resume doesn’t really speak to that, but looks good from the trailers, I’m excited to see it this friday. I think X-men, Guardians of the Galaxy and Godzilla all look promising too.

          • Michael Aronson

            My biggest criticism of Cap 2 is the title and promotion. Neither conveys how central to the cinematic Marvel Universe this film is. It is very much a direct sequel to Avengers.

          • sepiajack

            That actually increases my interest, I love misleading marketing for movies

          • omitted

            Here in Finland the official title is “Captain America: Return of the First Avenger” but the all the poster’s still retain “The Winter Soldier” bit too. It’s a bloody mess

          • sepiajack

            Hopefully The Winter Soldier strikes enough of a chord with audiences to warrent his own Marvel spinoff movie:

            Winter Soldier: The Captain America

          • omitted

            What we really need is a spinoff for the Stan Lee cameo:

            Security Guard: Return of Agent 13 and Falcon in the Age of pregnant Black Widow pining after Hawkeye in a Dark World with some new Villain with a Cool Name

          • Alex Lee

            They should just make “The Stan Lee” movie. He’s the only reason people watch the screen so intently.

          • ident

            Like when the copy of The Dark Knight I got from Netflix was actually German Scheisse porn. That was a good day.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            I agree with their third acts being lacklustre. The first Iron Man was alright, but I felt it seemed like a rather small confrontation for the film and it felt kind of odd, as if they weren’t actually fighting in a city full of people. The third acts for every other MCU film has been rather forgettable and were let downs, not fulfilling the buildup the rest of the movie setup [The Avengers aside].

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Canada and US are typically always have the same release dates for wide opening films. This is different for smaller films with a staggered release pattern as they slowly gain theatres over time and typically they start in large US cities and then work their way across the US and Canada. There’s a reason the Canada and US box office is called ‘domestic’ as they’re just clumped together, so I never really know how well a film is performing in Canada by itself because the American movie goers overshadow the results.

            Also, Marvel has been releasing their films overseas first for years now, even the first Captain America. They must see it as a good strategy. It probably makes them more money.

    • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

      CAP 2….FROM THE WRITERS OF SUCH HITS AS….. THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA TRILOGY… CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER… AND THOR 2…

      …AND THE DIRECTOR-DUO KNOWN FOR…YOU, ME, AND DUPREE. AND……… A SHORT FILM OR SOMETHING…

      …STARRING… AFFIRMATIVE ACTION NICK FURY… JOHAN JOHANSSONN… CHRIS REYNOLDS/RYAN EVANS-GOSLING… WILL SMITH’S KID AS FALCON…. AND INTRODUCING……..GAY EMO EYE SHADOW FAILED ABER CROMBIE AND FITCH/UNDERWEAR MODEL AS THE PRIMARY VILLAIN WHOM WE ARE SUPPOSED TO FEAR DESPITE THE AFOREMENTIONED HOMOEROTIC EYE SHADOW AND BEAUTIFUL, FLOWING LOCKS.

      CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER, COMING SOON.

      • Michael Aronson

        Did you just have an aneurysm?

        • Jason

          What, is this you first time on the interwebs or something? Well here’s a tip for you (what is often referred to by the internet savvy as a “protip”): CAPS LOCK = INSTANT FUNNY. Also, I appreciate that he let that post go on for 25 lines.

          • Michael Aronson

            Do you need a tissue?

          • Jason

            to wipe off all the tears from laughing ’til I cried? why, yes, how generous, thank you. and people say chivalry is dead.

          • Michael Aronson

            A hobby or a psychiatrist: please get one.

          • Jason

            1780 comments…and that was the best one…

          • Michael Aronson

            You don’t really need to type out all the broken monologues in your head.

          • Jason

            Mr. 1781 comments tells me I need a hobby and don’t have to type out all my thoughts. I’ll take it to heart.

          • Michael Aronson

            Arnim Zola is alive in a computer.

            Hydra took over SHIELD.

            Pierce kills Fury, who’s alive at the end.

            SHIELD is dismantled, Bucky is freed.

            Enjoy Cap 2.

          • Jason

            oh nooooooooo. why??? now I really do need a tissue :’(

          • ident

            Wait, who’s Bucky…or any of those people? Where is Thor?

  • sepiajack

    From the thumbnail of Cheap Thrills (having never heard of that movie) I thought it was Simon Pegg

    • catnep

      I kept thinking I saw Woody Harrelson in the clips but it’s some other dude.

  • sepiajack

    Wow I didn’t notice the lawyer’s similar voice to Mike’s until I saw the comments below, but upon rewatching it, it is uncanny.

    • Now I Get It

      Same nose, too.

      • sepiajack

        That looks suspiciously like the Best of the Worst viewing room couch sneaking into the far right side of the frame too

        • Cameron Vale

          Just like Wes Anderson, they connect all the locations in improbable ways like a child’s drawing.

          • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

            That’s because Wes Anderson was most likely a victim of trauma during childhood. Was probably molested. Most likely by a family member or close friend of the family. His autism is unrelated. He already had that upon birth. That probably made the molestation thing easier as he was a bit….”off”, you know? That’s why Wes likes to injure/kill animals in his films and portray awkward child-near sex. He was stunted emotionally and was never able to grow up.

            Sad story actually.

  • omitted

    “I only have the power of Greyskull”

    Oh Jay, it’s a crime against humanity that after that line you didn’t become shirtless, raise your “sword” and get hit by a lightning!

    By the way, I liked 300: Rise of an Empire and Captain America: The Return of the First Winter Avenger Soldier in the War of the Five Kings for the One Ring – part 2, as it was released here in Finland

    • Striker, Ted
      • Jason

        Take it away! TAKE IT AWAY!

      • sepiajack

        So creepy. LIke Garbage Pale kids creepy

      • Like Icare

        What most people don’t realize is that there is a joke in that scene, that you are not supposed to get right away, and then you do…

        It’s really subtle.
        Cause the turtle says something like “It’s OK, it’s just a mask.” to Megan Fox and then he takes off his bandana and waves it in front of her face, after which she passes out.

        Which is funny because she is an ACTRESS!
        And she’s lying DOWN on a job!
        Get it!

        • Pa Kent Says Maybe

          Oh.

          That IS subtle.

      • Dixon Bawls

        I made a prediction on another webzone, and I stick by it:
        They have lips so they can kiss someone/something…

        • Striker, Ted

          Oh Jesus, not Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtlettes”? Fuck you Michael Bay, in advance.

          • Dixon Bawls

            Half turtle, half fox, ifyaknowhatimean

          • Striker, Ted

            That’s the only thing that would be worse than female teenage mutant turtles ninjas, with like pink headbands, my prophecy will come true…in the sequel.

          • Dixon Bawls

            we shell see…

          • Striker, Ted

            It’s gonna be great…wait I already used that one.

        • http://www.avclub.com/users/ebuzz-miller,65313/ E.Buzz Miller

          The film ends with the Turtles making out with Krang in a Dimension X hot tub.

      • catnep

        Charles S. Dutton?

        • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

          I laughed so hard and sudden that a fart came out.

          • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

            I just read this again and laughed even harder than the first time.

            You goddamn brilliant sonofabitch.

          • Jason

            It’s good that you’ve found someone you can connect with. That’s what the internet’s all about.

          • catnep

            My service to humanity is complete.

      • http://www.avclub.com/users/ebuzz-miller,65313/ E.Buzz Miller

        OH MYYYYYY GAWD!!!! It’s like a green CGI Rich Evans!

      • Jean-François Martel

        Oh wow! I’m really happy they decided to make a new SHREK movie!

      • Cameron Vale

        The nose is what gets me.

      • Dixon Bawls

        reeeally looks like he’s holding up her panties…

  • Ben Haworth

    I really hope you guys review Noah. It was so batshit insane, and I think Jay would love it for that reason. Seriously, it has rock monsters and violent murder!

    • ident

      They should have stayed faithful to the source material. That shit’s fucking insane.

  • sepiajack

    Oh 300: Rise of an Empire, where my lust and obsession of EVA GREEN is in direct conflict with my hatred and contempt for 300.

    • omitted

      Eva who? Yeah, I guess there were some tits in there somewhere. I was far too busy ogling at all the ABS! *drool*

      • sepiajack

        She was in The Dreamers, Casino Royale, Womb, Kingdom of Heaven

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          Omitted doesn’t care. Eva don’t got the abs.

          • omitted

            Tru-dat!

    • http://hardycases.com/ Hale

      She’s literally the only reason I want to see the movie, based on how bat-shit insane and entertaining her performance is supposed to be.

      • sepiajack

        I can’t tell if this by accident or design, but she has this uncanny habit of picking projects where she is the ONLY good thing about them, which of course really allows her to shine. That show CAMELOT she was in a couple of years ago was a good example; it was just the worst, but she was amazing in it, both in terms of acting and hotness. And everything I’ve heard about 302 is the same, it’s awful but she’s bat shit awesome in it.

    • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

      She’s old and saggy now, i’m afraid to say. Her tits went south faster than Wes Anderson’s mental stability.

  • sepiajack

    Some good non-committee, non-sequel to the reboot of the remake of the comic book movies released in 2014 so far:
    -Oculus
    -Strangers by the Lake
    -Visitors
    -Under the Skin
    -Jorodorwsjy’s Dune
    -Enemy

    Plus I got a big kick out of LEGO, though that seems a movie they would be unlikely to watch.

    • Hasan the Butcher

      Good list especially Jodorowsky’s Dune, except it made me kind of sad that I will never get to see that movie; it would have been awesome.

      • http://www.avclub.com/users/ebuzz-miller,65313/ E.Buzz Miller

        It’d either be awesome or as big a mess as Lynch’s. Either way me too.

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      Can we add A Fantastic Fear of Everything with Simon Pegg to your list?

    • Dixon Bawls

      Did anyone see “Sparks” yet?
      Pretty good for low-budge

  • TJ

    I hope this cures my birthday bash hangover.

    • sepiajack

      Hair of the Half in the Bag that bit you… nah I got nothing. But happy birthday!

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      Some birthday cake for you. I won’t eat any of it. I promise!

      http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f298/andigurl03/bad_birthday_cake.jpg

      • TJ

        I am offended. I’m not THAT old.

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          Well since you’re so sensitive, I’ll just get you a vagina cupcake for your birthday instead.

          http://www.womens9.com/files/0/0/0/1/00013176.jpg

          • Jason

            wait…so vaginas really do have teeth?! I thought that was just a movie

          • Torgos_Giant_Knees

            I just assumed they were supposed to be genital warts.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Those are baby fingers. “Please birth me, mother… I’ve been in here for 3 years! Somebody please help!…”

            Well, on second thought, at 3 years of age I’m kinda pushing it by calling those ‘baby fingers’.

          • Cameron Vale

            I didn’t notice the sprinkles right away, but now they’re my favorite detail.

  • elgatoblanco

    great review, and I’m happy to see that Mr. Plinkett is alive and well. and gosh, am I looking forward to see that Hercules movie that Jay and Mike reviewed three fucking months ago when it comes to theaters in May here in Germany.

  • Paul Schumann

    hahahaha love the In Living Color reference Mike!

  • pete smith

    wow even trailer of budapest hotel looks painfully unfunny

    • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

      I developed a particularly painful ulcer after merely watching the trailer to the Life Aquatic starring Steve Zissou.

      True story.

  • http://macaulay.us/ Scottland559

    Where’s the beef indeed.

  • Bahareh Khosravi

    Is Mr.Plinkett here a metaphor for the dead art of cinema and the people who unceremoniously and unabashedly animate its corpse for money? I’ll let you decide….but the answer is yes,

  • Mark Bisone

    For the sake of a million Petes, would someone chain that hackfraud Stoklasa to a wall and force him to watch “The Royal Tenenbaums”? Tape his eyes open Clockwork Orange-style if necessary. Best Gene Hackman’s been in a flick since “Unforgiven”.

    • Jason

      You bought ‘Clockwork Orange-style’ from the Popular Movie Reference Warehouse on Bloor and Bathurst. I know because I sold it to you!

  • Kishi Jugo

    Is it okay to hate both Wes Anderson and Theater Friendly Unit Shifter Turtles 300 #2019874? I feel like I want to do both of that.

  • questin

    4K when?

  • Paul Schumann

    So help me to understand this “wes anderson hate” thing. In my naivete I’d assume that if I didn’t like a director’s style I just wouldn’t watch his movies. Or is it anger that he is one of only a few that consistently makes reasonably intelligent well-made movies? That to see something “smart” you feel you’re going to be subjected to his style?
    Or maybe it’s like michael bay hate – all the dumb people are crowing about teh splosions. Only this time it’s all the pretentious people glowing about the artistic vision of Anderson. I guess I can understand that. Thanks guys!

    (For what it’s worth, I just struggled through Tenenbaums a week ago. I’ve seen all of his films save Fantastic Mr. Fox and GBH, but really only enjoyed Rushmore and Moonrise.)

    • dollar store cashier wife

      some people think he’s all about style over substance.also let’s face it no matter how well made it is-a quirky drama about depression,family issues and failed love set to indie music is just gonna alienate a decent amount people.

    • Pa Kent Says Maybe

      Yes. It is the “smart” stuff. The “art” in the artistry. You might not have noticed, we live in game-changed times. Art is bad. Smart is for hipsters.

      It’s action blockbuster, skippy, or you’re a faggot.

      The people who complain about Wes Anderson’s style love Christopher Nolan’s. And, they write blogs and watch to see if their blurb gets picked to be on Rotten Tomatoes.

      Makes that much sense.

      • Paul Schumann

        In my world, “smart” is Whit Stillman… ;)

    • http://www.avclub.com/users/ebuzz-miller,65313/ E.Buzz Miller

      What I always hear is ‘oh I liked Bottle Rocket, Rushmore and Tenenbaums, but then he became a parody of himself’, which I don’t agree with. He’s definitely become more stylized from Life Aquatic on, but I don’t see him as making the same film over and over with a signature style like Tim Burton has yet.

      • Paul Schumann

        Aha. Burton’s probably a good comparison.
        Yes I agree. All of the Anderson films I’ve seen are clearly distinct. While I didn’t love most of them, I did enjoy the creativity in set design and the like.

  • Daniel Nguyen-Phuoc

    I actually enjoyed the new Captain America. More than the first, for sure. Despite it not really feeling like it had any kind of directorial mark or art to it, it was a pretty competent superhero movie.

    I suspect that part of the reason I’m saying this is because The Wolverine made no sense, so I’m honestly just encouraged by any superhero movie which doesn’t give me a fork in the brain.

  • Dixon Bawls

    finally…
    *sits down with coffee and clean fedora*

  • Felipe Salvatore
    • Jason

      Fuck. Now anyone can make a Wes Anderson movie.

    • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

      Fucking hilarious.

      Wes Adnerson films feature the most deplorable visual aesthetic/cinematography in all of film.

      • The Narrator

        When are you going to see your second film?

        • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

          Aww you’re adorable.

      • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

        After watching this great little video… I had a revelation. I believe that Wes Anderson may in fact be autistic. Or suffer from Asperger’s. Some sort of emotional/social disability. It really makes sense when you think about it. The cold, aloof, calculated, robotic nature of his visuals and narratives… the cold, aloof calculated, robotic nature of his characters. Which are more like caricatures than real, 3 dimensional, relatable people. I think Old Gregg is on to something here…

        • The Narrator

          I’m not quite sure that he is onto anything.

        • Kishi Jugo

          Yeah, it’s phony nonsense. Someone in the comments here said he should try his hand at horror movies but his movies are horror movies because underneath the superficially picturesque visuals there is nothing at all happening of substance. It’s complete vapid emptiness. He’s like the indie version of Michael Bay but he tricks intelligent people into believing he’s made some sort of art. His films become a window into the mind of a mad man.

    • ident

      I didn’t go to film school. Is centering a shot unusual? Could you make a supercut of Martin Scorses’ or P.T. Anderson’s centered shots, too?

  • Brandon Allen-Trick

    I’m with you guys, Life Aquatic is an awesome movie, but Rotten Tomatoes
    apparently rates it at 53% vs the rest of his movies in the 80-100%
    range. WTF?!

    • TapewormBike

      Well that just means that half of critics did not get it, right? Enjoy being better then those schmfucks.

      • Mark Bisone

        By “get it”, you mean the check, right?

        • TapewormBike

          I use to write reviews for a while. Are you telling me people sell out for more than a rubber-gloved hand job?

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            Some of us settle for hookers. We have standards, y’know.

          • MikeFromCanmore

            and here all this time i been whoring myself out to write the reviews for newspapers

    • Pa Kent Says Maybe

      Yet, CAPTAIN AMERICA: ALMOST AS MUCH CARNAGE AS MAN OF STEEL, BUT (you know) FROM THE KIDDIES’ CURRENT FAVORITE BRAND SINCE PIXAR STARTED TO SUCK is rated in the 90s.

      It’s because Rotten Tomatoes doesn’t represent consensus as much as it is just another forum for bloggers. People with no background in anything but their own opinion. Who write sh!t.

      Rotten Tomatoes has always been meaningless.

      • Tyler Scruggs

        Captain America has almost as much carnage as Man of Steel? What?

        Also Rotten Tomatoes gets their scores from professional film critics. Who, you know, get paid for their efforts.

        • Alex Lee

          But then you gotta wonder about Hollywood payoffs sometimes. Critics gotta eat too.

          The problem I have with most professional critics is that they don’t go into spoilers too much and don’t really explain why a movie does or doesn’t work. They also tend to fail to recommend the film for people who don’t share the same interests. In short, they don’t put enough time and effort into examining a movie.

          The typical Rotten Tomamtoes review is never educational, but I learn something new with RedLetterMedia review.

      • ident

        I thought Rotten Tomatoes used working critics.

        • Pa Kent Says Maybe

          If, by “working critics” you mean anybody who writes sh!t on the internet, then you are correct.

          • ident

            No, I meant critics who are paid to review movies. I looked again and the majority of critics still seem to be associated with newspapers, magazines or websites I’ve heard of. Perhaps I don’t understand how the percentage is calculated.

  • Mark Bisone

    Instead of the Mike’s white noise screen, how about a blurry screenshot of Jessica Alba’s butt and an Applebee’s sign, set to the soundtrack of the Emergency Broadcast System. They can call it, “The Breakfast Club Remake”, because that is a thing that is going to happen no matter how hard you pray.

    • Gene Parmesan

      That’s going to be battling it out in the box office with #26509. That’s Two and a HALF hours of white noise. You know how many Facebook updates i can make with that time, Thank you Film industry.

    • TapewormBike

      DAT CRAPPY FOOD.

      • Jason

        it might be filled with crap, but it’s delicious. you were referring to Jessica Alba’s ass, right?

        • TapewormBike

          I always am.

      • Mark Bisone

        SHUT UP AND PLAY YOUR ANGRY CANDY BIRD CRUSH, YOU CRETINS.

        • TapewormBike

          Butt fihst I gots to get off Twittah!

    • sepiajack

      I feel like this photo somehow captures everything that needs to be said about current North American pop “culture” in a single image

      • Mark Bisone

        Whoa there, cowboy! If that’s gonna be the case, it needs a few extra touches…

        • Percy Gryce

          Okay, I see a light saber, Obama dressed up as Mrs. Claus, the Michelin three-star establishment to which I took Mrs. Gryce on our first date, a Klingon sword, a live-action manga panel, and the image burned into Michael Bay’s retinas. What do I win?

          • Mark Bisone
          • Percy Gryce

            As long as that guy removes my kidney stones while he’s down there, I’ll take it.

          • Mark Bisone

            You almost took home the gold, but I had to take points off for mistaking the laser beam firing into space for a lightsaber, and for mispelling “thord”.

          • Percy Gryce

            I was going to say “thord” but then dismissed the thought.

            Always go with your gut.

          • Striker, Ted

            Video game humor!

        • Jean-François Martel

          now at this point it’s too much production value for the studios… Will someone think of the poor studios???

    • Cameron Vale

      Realistically they’ll call it “The Breakfast Club,” but I like your starry-eyed optimism.

  • Clan:Rewired_CCW

    Ray Fiennes?

    • TapewormBike

      Well, his actual name is not to be said.

      • Clan:Rewired_CCW

        He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?

        • TapewormBike

          Properly at least.

  • TapewormBike

    Trent Haaga has my utter most respect for dealing with loads (someone might say “Lloyds”) of bullshit on Troma sets ands surviving. Sometimes while wearing diapers and no pants.

  • Dr. Blake Downs

    It seems like the lawyer has a conflict of interest since he is a fan of RLM with his magical banner that appears and disappears from shot to shot above the fridge. Actually come to think of it, that would be awesome to have, is it in your store yet?

    • sepiajack

      I blame the same ILMer who added the rocks around R2D2 for the Star Wars blu ray

      • Jason

        the banner shot first!

    • http://www.avclub.com/users/ebuzz-miller,65313/ E.Buzz Miller

      Boy I sure hope someone got fired for that blunder!

    • Thanatos2k

      I like to think Mike and Jay put that banner up in the laywer’s waiting room before they came in, as advertising for some hack fraud website.

    • Percy Gryce

      The lawyer actually handled the conflict completely appropriately. Rule 1.7(b)(1) of the Wisconsin Rules of Professional Conduct for Lawyers says: “Notwithstanding the existence of a concurrent conflict of interest under par. (a), a lawyer may represent a new client if the lawyer removes the new client’s banner from the lawyer’s place of business or, at least, moves it out of frame.”

      So check your facts!

      • Alex Lee

        “Unsubscribed!”

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      I love Jay’s facial expression in this pic.

      • Dr. Blake Downs

        I love Barry S. Plinkett’s facial expression in this pic. Looks like he is having a jolly time.

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          Well when Mike’s holding your skull in such a non-threatening manner, how can you not have a great time?

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Without that red circle I would have never known where to look.

  • TapewormBike

    Anybody mentioned Heavy Rain in regards to pinky cutting already?

    • Gene Parmesan

      Those were hashed out when Rich had his pinky cutting accident on BOTW.

      • TapewormBike

        I have PTSD caused by that, which causes amnesia specific to those comments. …….for some reason

    • MikeFromCanmore

      Dang ! never thought to make the comment i’ll be kicking myself for that as i enjoyed that game

  • Gene Parmesan

    I’m shocked Mike doesn’t realize that his predictions on the future of cinema has already started, anyone remember Movie 43? Number for a title and hours of white noise.

    • Rei Grim

      The image of Hugh Jackman with balls on his neck scared me for life and sadly I won’t be able to forget that image so easily! :(

      • sepiajack

        Don’t you mean Theodore Miller? Who is the Australian man who stared in that movie????

      • Jason

        Obviously you’ve never seen The Fountain, or else the image of Hugh Jackman with balls on his neck would be completely overshadowed by Hugh Jackman thirstily drinking semen out of a tree.

    • sepiajack

      The three ‘number’ title movies I own are: 2001 A space Odyssey, 21 Jump Street, and 12 Monkeys. They all have 2s and 1s in the title sit next to each other on my blu ray shelf, yet 3 more different movies from each other I can’t think of.

    • Jean-François Martel

      even the Asylum and David Decotteau are doing that.

      • ident

        And somehow David Decotteau’s white noise is excessively homoerotic.

        • Jean-François Martel

          You gotta have something for everyone.

  • http://www.according2robyn.blogspot.com/ According2Robyn

    I like Jay because he’s good at physical humor.

    Jay was the skeleton, right?

    • TapewormBike

      I have a feeling that was actually Rich. We already know he goes full Method when it comes to eating, so…

      • sepiajack

        Man does Evans know how to take a fall. He makes that kind of ‘painful’ physical humor look effortless.

        • TapewormBike

          Years of practice (read: being told by Stoklasa to fall on the ground and being laughed at after)

          • dollar store cashier wife

            or winning hot dog eatting contests against roger ebert.

    • Now I Get It

      Aka “Mike’s puppet,” that’s right. And I’m more than a little shocked that you would suggest such a thing – so obliquely.

  • Jason

    I don’t remember saying this…

    • MikeFromCanmore

      maybe it was your brother. Mason

  • Mark Bisone

    This is gonna sound bizarre, but I’d really like to see Anderson take a crack at something in the horror genre. Many great horror movies are only a few beats from comedy tonally, and I’d like to see him apply that childlike spatial logic of his to a nightmare scene.

    Ditto goes for Michel Gondry, although I guess you could say “Eternal Sunshine” turns into pure psychological horror at a certain point.

    • TapewormBike

      I wholeheartedly agree. The best horror movies always came from auteurs and auteurs who did not know the genre all that well at that (Shining, I would argue Alien). Now almost all the horror movies are I feel to self – referential in regards to the genre, which just underlies to me how stale it is.

      • Mark Bisone

        Yeah, my thinking exactly. It’s one of those genres that practically begs for newcomers who don’t exactly know what to “do” with it, because the people who work consistently in it are trapped in a bunch of old tropes.

        I’d add Polanski to the list for “Fearless Vampire Killers” and “Rosemary’s Baby” and Spielberg for “Poltergeist” (all of which I think are also great examples of the tonal closeness of comedy and horror).

        • TapewormBike

          Oh hell yes. (Hellraiser 3…too controversial to like?)

          • Mark Bisone

            Never seen it. Gotta say I was never really a fan of those films, though the first one had a few interesting moments from what I can recall.

          • Percy Gryce

            Is that the one with the CD cenobite? It’s good for a larf.

        • Dixon Bawls

          Upvoted for mentioning “Fearless Vampire Killers.”

          • Paul Schumann

            Never heard of it; sounds like I need to watch it.

          • Striker, Ted

            Upvoted for making me think of “Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter.”

          • Mark Bisone

            Upvoted for making me think of Cap’n Crunch.

          • Dixon Bawls

            downvoted for reminding me of this…
            *sniffle*

          • Mark Bisone

            Luckily, that turned out to be the Cap’n’s twin brother, Barry S. Crunch.

          • Dixon Bawls

            affectionately known as Fap’n Crunch.

          • TapewormBike

            I laughed so hard it made it difficult to puke.

          • Dixon Bawls

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            It’s gonna be grrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!

    • sepiajack

      I would second that request. Somehow the horror would seem more terrifying in the child’s popup book type innocent visuals.

      I would also love to see him do a Scifi film. The equivalent of Steve Zizzou in space.

      • Mark Bisone

        So you’re saying Anderson should direct “Star Trek 3: Into Startrekness”?

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          Edward Norton as Spock?
          Owen Wilson as Kirk?

          • Percy Gryce

            Bill Murray as McCoy!

          • Now I Get It

            Jason Noseman as Hop Sing.

          • Percy Gryce

            Always with the Deadwood references. When are you going to accept that it’s not coming back.

          • Now I Get It

            When that pain-in-the-balls-Marshall Bullock comes back with Hoss, Little Joe, and Candy to save the fucking town for Adam to rebuild, of course.

      • Paul Schumann

        I’ve already said he needs to take over the new Starship Troopers…

        High philosophy and exquisitely designed power suits, what’s not to love?

        • Percy Gryce

          And claymation bugs?

          • Paul Schumann

            Definitely. It will be all the more terrifying when they actually down a marine. That would be his trademark “dark” moment that sneaks up on you.

    • Jason

      I think the scene where Luke Wilson cuts himself in Tenenbaums hints that Anderson has a bit of a darker edge and could definitely make a decent, or even great horror film with some truly haunting scenes and characters.

      • TapewormBike

        The jump cut to the bloodied bully in Monrise Kingdom and then the dog? My gf refused to watch the rest of the movie after that.

        • dollar store cashier wife

          ol wes sure likes animal cruelty.

          • TapewormBike

            Phillip, dynamite!

        • Jason

          haven’t seen Moonrise :/ sounds like it might be worth a viewing though just for that scene.

      • Mark Bisone

        Yes. And even Owen Wilson’s death scene in “The Life Aquatic” showed some potential flair for horror, the way the blood is eventually revealed on the bobbing waves, letting you know the scene has just turned around on you.

        • Percy Gryce

          Or the death of the Indian boy in Darjeeling Limited.

          • Mark Bisone

            Truth be told, I found that scene more “sexy” than “horrifying.” To each his own.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            What about the death of Eli in There’s Gonna Be Blood?

            Oh, wait…

    • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

      Gondry’s Eternal Sunshine runs fucking laps, a marathon in fact, around anything wes Anderson has sharted out of his self-aware, quirk-infested scat-shoot.

      • Mark Bisone

        A compelling point!

        I think what we need here is some sort of steel cage match between these guys, or maybe a peacoat-ed arm wrestling contest.

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          Maybe Gondry and Anderson can each be given a budget of $200 Million, make competing action-dramas off the cartoon “Animaniacs,” and see if either director gives Pinky and the Brain lips. Then we’ll know who the better director is.

          • Jason

            Considering Gondry hasn’t made a good film since, or before, Eternal Sunshine, I think a more appropriate competition would be him and Vanilla Ice in a celebrity boxing match. The tag-line on the promotional poster will be: “They were both one-hit wonders, but which one-hit hits harder?”

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            Well, Vanilla Ice stole his one-hit wonder from Freddie Mercury, causing Mercury’s death and bringing Paul Rodgers to lead vocals for Queen.

            Vanilla Ice hits harder.

          • Mark Bisone

            Hey, it could be a pie-eating contest, for all I care. As long as we can get Mean Gene Okerlund there to break any ties.

            http://24.media.tumblr.com/088be4ff4f806af5d9336b75583ce697/tumblr_mpbro4fGnB1rncv5bo1_500.jpg

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            Is that…. Andy Warhol? With Mr. T in the background?

          • Mark Bisone

            Imagine being in that room, Domo dear. Imagine the smell of it all.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            Not quite sure I want smell-o-vision. Just glad to see Warhol in a wrestling pedophile hobo jacket.

  • Dixon Bawls

    So glad Mike didn’t use his real Plinkett voice with the deadPlinkett.

    • TapewormBike

      I always find it cute when I see people adressing Mr. Plinkett under the old reviews.

      • LelouchtheFilial

        I still do that, if only for the sake of maintaining the illusion.

        • Percy Gryce

          What illusion? Is this going to be like the time my folks had a little talk with me about Santa and the Easter Bunny?

    • Jason

      It woulda been great.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        It’s gonna be gerat grate gert greet gort Bort Ward fork in the br what’s wrong with y great!

  • Wasperheimer

    What, no homicidal Japanese gardeners or unwitting necrophilia? You have failed Bernie’s! You have failed us!

  • Yezzir!

    Nice crazy wide angle. That’s what you get for not building an elaborate set, you hacks.

  • Guest

    There seems to be a RLM sign in the lobby of the lawyer’s office……..He must be a big fan! Just kidding; you suck, you hypocritical frauds!

  • Jason Robins

    There seems to be a RLM sign in the lobby of the lawyer’s office……..He must be a big fan! Just kidding; you suck, you untalented frauds!

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    I’m a little wary of Wes Anderson since “Moonrise Kingdom.” I don’t like kid actors. I especially don’t like it when the kids are the main characters. And I get horribly uncomfortable when I see kids in movies performing an almost-sex scene.

    I think I understood how most people felt when they saw the movie, “Child Bride,” in theaters. Just a whole lotta “Nope!” going on.

    With that said, nothing beats The Royal Tenenbaums.

    • TapewormBike

      Those child actors were great though. It always works for me when I feel I can relate them to my young self (guess which one was closest to me from Moonrise Kingdom. How did you guess it was Edward Norton?!).

      • Paul Schumann

        I loved the whole idealized scout camp thing, mostly because it was the opposite of what I experienced at scout camp!

        • TapewormBike

          Exactly. I am pretty unabashed Anderson fanboy. All his movies have this bittersweet feeling of nostalgia, because he basically always is telling a story about being a kid and growing up.

          • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

            On the contrary. I find that all his movies have this bittersweet feeling of…. nausea about them. And a hint of foamy, frothy diarrhea. The forced quirk… the unfathomably contrived, calculated, artificial, aloof nature of his work is simply excruciating to plod through. Cinematic excrement/waste is an apt description of Mr. Anderson’s films.

          • TapewormBike

            Indeed sir, that seems to be the way of things in regards to your viewership. A way we sadly do not seem to share. Alas the lonely connecting thread between us seems to be the fondness for body fluid related comments. Good day to you sir, may it be filled with shit, puke and jizz aplenty.

          • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

            Vaginal discharge.

            You forgot vaginal discharge.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            And then somebody [wet] farts.

          • Kishi Jugo

            I was trying to put into words what I don’t like about him and you have definitely succeeded where I have failed.

          • Popo Bawa

            So, when you take a dump, you usually characterize the experience as “forced quirk… the unfathomably contrived, calculated, artificial, aloof nature”?

      • Mark Bisone

        The girl in particular was very good. She’s got a bright future ahead of her if she can avoid becoming a booze-swilling, pill-gobbling, narcissistic showbiz psychopath.

        • TapewormBike

          My thoughts precisely. How do you pull what is basically a femme fatale AND and so much internal pain at once at that age?

          • Percy Gryce

            It’s all in the eye makeup.

        • Ludwig Scroggins IV

          Jesus, that’s a bit of a tall order.

      • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

        I’ll have to respectfully disagree with you about how good the kids were at acting. Granted, their acting then is better than my best acting ever, so I will give them that. But to me, they were just lifeless. It was like they were just reading their lines in the most bored way possible.

        I did like Edward Norton, Bill Murray, Frances McDormand, and Bruce Willis. I wish it had more Bill Murray in it. I think I could watch an entire movie of nothing but Bill Murray, though. He could be sitting in a room, by himself, mumbling random things, and I would enjoy it.

        • Striker, Ted

          I agree, I thought the kids were a product of Anderson’s directing more than their own acting ability, the world around them is what carried that movie. It’s weird when Bruce Willis reminds people he can’t act, isn’t it?

          • Paul Schumann

            Yeah, I thought who is this guy with short wisps of blonde hair playing the cop? Why isn’t he in more films? oh wait… but for this he’s terrrrrrrible (and bald)

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            But you gotta watch Die Hard 6 and 7 so you know what’s going on in Die Hard 8!

        • TapewormBike

          Agreed on Bill Murray:). In regards to the kids, well, the beauty of art is in the subjectivity, so I will hardly turn you around on it. I felt they conveyed a whole lot of emotions, but granted, it might not have been as refined as the big pros, so it might not jive the same for everyone.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Okay there, Hulk.

        Er, I mean ex-Hulk.

        • TapewormBike

          I think of myself as more of a Tyler Durden. Too soon?

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            9/11 was like 24 years ago, so I think you’re in the clear.

    • Don Bright

      after reading about so many child stars with troubles i felt odd about these films/shows. after Sarah Polley’s writing about her experience in Baron Munchausen i became very wary. after Corey Feldman attributed River Phoenix’s death to abuse at the hands of a hollywood mogul, who remains unpunished, and his talking about his own abuse and Haim’s abuse, i have come to a point where i really do not like to see a film with kids in it. Not because kids arent good actors, but because hollywood is such a tendency towards exploitation to begin with, it makes me feel worried watching any film with kids, how they were treated, what were their parents motivations, etc.

      • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

        lol

        • whip

          Such stimulating, riveting debate. Your comments are deep and though provoking, and really add substance to the discussion.

          • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

            I’m old greeeeeeeegg

          • Percy Gryce

            At least you’re not a fucking sloth. Or are you?

      • Kishi Jugo

        I agree with you. Ever see Ariana Richards who played Lex in Jurassic
        Park? There is something obviously wrong with her now. Same goes with the guy who played Elliot in E.T. They just have these shell shocked looks in their eyes.

        Hollywood destroys adults left, right, and center, so there ain’t much hope of a child getting out alive.

    • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

      “And I get horribly aroused when I see kids in movies performing an almost-sex scene.”

      There. Fixed it for you.

      • TapewormBike

        Easy now fuzzy little man-peach

        • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

          I’m going to hurt you

          • http://www.avclub.com/users/ebuzz-miller,65313/ E.Buzz Miller

            Want to come to a club where people wee on each other?

          • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

            yes sir, thank you sir

      • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

        Oh, internet. Try again.

        • ident

          Wait…Old_Gregg isn’t the Internet…is he?

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      I was watching said “almost-sex scene” on a computer at school with people around me. I agree, it was pretty awkward… especially when I came on the keyboard. People can be such prudes!

      • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

        Yours can make it on top of a computer desk? Show off!

  • Dixon Bawls

    “…but he can diminish those effects [wink]”
    These really are just for us…

    • HNSZ

      That’s something everybody’s been waiting for.
      (nods skeptically)

  • http://www.pewpewpew.de/ PewPewPew

    Jay and Mike are FRAUDS

  • dollar store cashier wife

    it looks like a glorious mess.

  • Dixon Bawls

    Is the lawyer the same guy from the “hipster VCR party” episode, sans mustache?
    The one Mike refers to as “Hey…asshole…”?

  • Martin the Warrior

    Plinkett’s lawyer must be pretty good.

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    Mike sees straight into your soul
    http://i.minus.com/imHo0RFI6MIiG.gif

    • Jason

      “Stare long enough into the abyss, and the abyss will stare back.” -Friedrich Shakesman

      • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

        Are you calling Mark fat?

        • Jason

          who’s Mark?

          • TapewormBike

            The other guy, you know, the one that´s not Ray.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Confirmed for Ray.

          • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

            yeah – the fatter, gayer one

          • Striker, Ted

            Ya know, the guy who played Terrence Boddicker in Robocop.

          • Jason

            Oh! you mean Ray Fiennes? Now it makes sense.

    • TapewormBike

      “When´s the next Plinkett review, you hack fraud!”

    • catnep

      The face that launched a thousand somethings…

      • omitted

        Shits in the pants?

        • Percy Gryce

          Why no homo love for Mike?

          • TapewormBike

            I was just working on some pants related pun.

          • TapewormBike

            I have an erection. There, phew,

          • Jason

            Shoji Tabuchi also has an erection…he’s running for Mayor of Branson, Missouri!

          • Now I Get It

            We’re all waiting for that open-collar shot of a hairy chest that proves he’s a bear.

        • Jean-François Martel

          i wanted to make a “brown note” joke but i realized it would be wrong.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            Awww Jean. We can totally handle your Brown Note joke. Please, bring the joke forth!

    • Jean-François Martel

      Oh you beat me to it… asshole… Is it low res enough to use on tumblr?

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        What does the Nolan Batman series have to do with this?

    • Jean-François Martel

      You beat me to it… asshole. I wonder if it’s low rez enough for me to use on tumblr… But at the same time i also want to make my own too.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      That’s the Mikiest Mike I’ve ever Miked.

    • LukeMM95

      It’s the face he makes when people ask: “When’s the next Plinkett review.”

  • Dixon Uranus

    MRW I saw there was a new HitB video

  • Dixon Uranus

    MRW I saw there was a new HitB episode
    http://i.imgur.com/JILOsa7.gif

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      I don’t see a raging boner in that GIF, though…

  • Ogrot

    That lawyer is living the dream. His office is connected to the Holy Trinity Episcopal soup kitchen and he gets to talk to Rich Evans. Also the door behind him that was out of frame leads is the rear entrance to The Renewed Hopes Methadone Clinic pharmacy.

    He technically never needs to go home again.

  • bob665

    Your review has convinced me to watch a movie I would have passed on. The lawyer
    was pretty good, he had good timing.

    • ident

      If that movie was Weekend at Bernies, mission accomplished.

  • catnep

    David Koechner could be the Gordon Jump of his generation.

    • Now I Get It

      I’m sorry, no. So far every Maytag Man has been bald. Except in Quebec, where he’s always been black.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Yk-ca1ZEgKE

      • catnep

        Tabernac! There was a French Canadian Maytag man? Crap. Did they steal WKRP too?

        • Now I Get It

          No, but there was once a quebecois colour palette that made one stand up and say “Never again!” like we all did for Herb Tarlek’s plaids.

          • catnep

            Well, my Maytag paradigm is left in shards thanks to you. Colin Ferguson doesn’t fit the chubby stereotype of an unneeded repairman! The war on fat has traveled back in time and ruined my childhood!

          • Now I Get It

            Yes, a childhood is a terrible thing to ra…, er-uhm, ruin.

            FULL DISCLOSURE: when I read “Colin Ferguson”, I pictured Craig Ferguson and naturally thought of kilts, but it still works for the Herb Tarlek thing, because many kilts are plaid and they’re all terrible, except for black watch, which is glorious, so, forget I disclosed anything.

          • catnep

            Full disclosure? So you admit to wearing a kilt!

            The sporran kitten oracle doesn’t lie…

            http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/236x/ef/a9/6c/efa96ccb32eff7bc1b27e5623c15a273.jpg

          • Now I Get It

            I am with kilt, yes, for I can think of no better use for 10 yards of lamb’s wool than the manufacture of a single kilt, and no greater service for a litter of pelts than the making of a sporran to honour the alpha kitten that skinned its siblings.

          • catnep

            Now when you put it that way, I feel bad. Fortunately there are other exciting oracles to pair with a kilt this season. Give or take another 10 yards of wool…

            http://s3.amazonaws.com/rapgenius/kuato.jpg

          • Now I Get It

            Oh, shit, I see you were right. David Koechner is bald. My bad.

          • catnep

            Oh my gad. Is the baby freak David Koechner?

            Hey yeah, I can see that now!

          • Now I Get It

            Indeed! Crushed by the weight of life into a diamond chrysalis, Koechner was reborn as a slimy oracle to reflect his unswaddled wisdom on any traveler willing to pay the fabulous toll to travel his same road.

            (Hint: bring a juice box.)

            Theft: 6
            Louis C.K.: 0

          • catnep
          • Now I Get It

            The lizard gots to be paid.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Sweetness!

  • http://about.me/hexeno Hexeno

    Rich Evans has reached a whole new level of acting, he’s beyond any person on RLM and earth.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      You could even say he’s from space… the future of space…

      • Ludwig Scroggins IV

        He could say that, but it’d be a cop out…

        • Percy Gryce

          Cop Dog? Cop Cop?

  • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

    That was the hardest I’ve laughed at a Half in the Bag in months.

    I raise my shoe filled with room temperature, creamy-beige Bailey’s to you, good sir.

  • Guest

    !!!

  • RPK

    I guess I’m just not smart enough to appreciate Wes Anderson movies.

    • TapewormBike

      I understand when people do not like his style. That´s what actually having a style brings with itself. But in regards to being too “smart”, I guess it´s just the constant feeling that you are being part of someone else´s inside joke without completely understading it. I like it that way though and I certainly am no Albert Brooks. I like those movies on a gut level.

      • Domo_Konnichiwa

        Is there a Wes Anderson movie that you’d recommend? I’ve never seen any, and don’t want to walk away with a bad impression.

        • TapewormBike

          Well, to jump right in and wallow in weirdness (and awesomeness that is Bill Murray), I would suggest Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. Just be prepared to see it multiple times maybe:). More streamlined is Rushmore, which is nonetheless also great.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            Sweet. Thanks. Had planned on seeing Moonrise and Grand Budapest, but maybe more bizarre is the way to go.

          • TapewormBike

            Moonrise is great, sort of more serious actually. Grand Budapest I have not seen, but seems great.

          • Dixon Bawls

            it’ll be great…

          • Percy Gryce

            That’ll be great.

        • Paul Schumann

          Rushmore!

  • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

    I didn’t know 12 year olds frequented this site.

  • Thanatos2k

    Not only did they steal the storyline from the Simpsons, they stole the finger thing from Heavy Rain where the guy is ordered to cut his own finger off and he has to cauterize it and yadda yadda.

    • TapewormBike

      The second yadda was a bit too much, don´t bring the mood down.

    • WrongWithYourFace

      Video game joke!

  • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

    If given the opportunity…… you should kill yourself.

  • RyanMullaney

    Wes Anderson is the personification of style over substance, and that style is quite annoying. I need to see his films as much as I need another hole in my ass.

  • Gnat

    I can’t help but notice Mike’s Hitler ‘stache whenever he turns his head to the side.

  • Brian Rush

    The magic disappearing reappearing “red letter media” poster.

  • Thanatos2k

    Also, I don’t blame Mike for turning off the Royal Tenenbaums. Sadly, I was forced to sit through the whole thing. I wish I could have chosen to cut my finger off instead.

  • http://www.erinmorelli.com Erin Morelli

    I’d be genuinely curious to see what Mike and Jay think about Aronofsky’s NOAH…

    • Taft you FUCK

      They’ll probably love it because they’re Bible-humping republicans! I’ve seen behind the curtain.

      • Mark Bisone

        You might be on to something there.

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          Republicans hang red circles in their offices?

          By god, I’ve gotta warn the pope!

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        How’s the Pony Brigade going?

    • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

      “Hated it …”

    • Paul Schumann

      I’ve heard it’s at times poignant and other times has nonsensical plot points. *shrugs*

  • Alex Lee

    I’m surprised Mike didn’t do his Plinkett impersonation.

    • HNSZ

      Then again, that was what was on everyone’s mind. Would have been boring. Or glorious.

  • Jean-François Martel

    They are finally taking full advantage of the potential of the cassette cameras technology.

  • Billy Nunez
    • Robert Overstreet

      DO IT!

    • Dr. Blake Downs

      Is that rich evans watching himself?

    • catnep

      Psst. Yodurtle. He’s too old to begin the training!

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Why would Rich react to an animated film that came out in 2001?

      DONKEH!

  • Fartastic

    Hey lawyer! What’s wrong with your workspace?

    • WrongWithYourFace

      What’s wrong with your SPAAAAACE?

      • Jeremy Davis

        ohhhhhh myyy god!

        • WrongWithYourFace

          You have failed your daily duty of praying to the Holy Groin in the direction of Enlightening Fast VCR.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        What what what what what?
        What what what what what?
        What what what what what?
        What what what what what?

  • Archie Bunker

    Redletter Media sign in background… and then no Redletter Media sign in background. Aooogah, Aooogah, continuity error! continuity error! I did good!

    • Torgos_Giant_Knees

      The time on the clock also jumps forward and then backward, too. This would be excusable if a horribly fake wig were to suddenly appear on Jay’s or Mike’s head and then disappear in the next cut.

      • Archie Bunker

        Truly the only time continuity errors are acceptable.. when horrible hair pieces are involved.

    • Not Claude Akins
  • Robby

    Is that Mike’s brother? He sounds and looks very similar.

    • whip

      Well, unless for some reason his brother has an entirely different last name, I would say.. no. It said his name in the credits.

    • catnep

      They say we all have a voice twin. In a bizarre twist of fate, mine happens to be my mother.

  • Jean-François Martel

    c’mon there, Captain America looks good… I mean it’s definitely a studio movie but it looks like there is some creative forces behind this

    • http://flesheatingbug.deviantart.com/ Som

      just saw the captain, thought it was great!

      • Jean-François Martel

        It’s out already?

        • omitted

          Yeah, the Captain is out to the rest of the world. It’s those damn Americans keeping him in the closet!

          • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

            Shut your commie mouth

          • Paul Schumann

            Whatchu doing in my waters?

          • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

            IT’S ATTACHED TO YOUR ROD, MOTHALICKA

        • http://flesheatingbug.deviantart.com/ Som

          It is in ireland :-)

  • Duckler

    Gratuitous Rich Evans pratfall..! You’ve got to appreciate the classics.

  • Thanatos2k

    *ghost of Lucas appears*

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    “Steven Zwarg is one of my favorit autors.” — Coach Z.

  • Taft you FUCK

    I’d be remiss if I said I wasn’t looking forward to the big budget, retarded action movies. They’re the only reason I go to the movies nowadays. They’re too loud to hear the simple-minded imbeciles in the theater with no movie-watching decorum, and they’re bright, dumb, and flashy shallow money-makers.

    But I also like small, indie, artsy movies as well. It’s okay to enjoy both.

    • ident

      Everyone gather round! This is the reason Transformers 4 got made. Stone him!

    • Not Claude Akins

      Awesome handle, man.

      • Taft you FUCK

        Taft like little complimentary man. Taft will not eat when world ends.

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      They might want to bring training videos like this back to the movie screen with regards to movie watching decorum.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzK3Mbdrw-Q

  • Mr. Basically

    But, Mr. Plinkett, he should not be heavy, he’s your brother.

    • Percy Gryce

  • Fangs

    Yo, Jay! Uncross your arms, man. You’re on camera. Try and get some sleep, dude. You look really tired and distant. I still want to fuck you regardless. Love you :)

  • its called bleach

    was kind of hoping to get your guys opinion on transcendence. its hard to get a read on it.

  • Anthony D.

    I absolutely loved The Grand Budapest Hotel. Such a smart, incredibly-written screenplay. I’m a huge Anderson fan, though, so I may be biased. Going to be tough to beat this year, going forward.

  • ident

    I told you not to move to Narnia. Mr. Tumnus is full of empty promises.

  • shanebroughton

    I think that lawyer is an alcoholic.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’m 16 hours late?! Fuck!! I knew I shouldn’t have bothered going to the hospital for my face itch. Now I’ll have to catch this episode once it’s released on VHS… whenever my VCR gets repaired, that is. ‘Lightning Fast’ my ass [don't take that literally].

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      That’s a nasty gash you have there….

      • AbdulAlhazred

        Your MOM has a nasty gash.

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          Thanks so much for checking up on her down there. Saves me an OB-GYN bill.

    • TapewormBike

      Nobody, really? (Inhale)……What´s wrong with your faaaace!?

      • WrongWithYourFace

        Yes?

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        I, too, was surprised nobody said that earlier.

    • catnep

      Canadian skin in winter.

      • Mark Bisone

        Such fascinating creatures. So they molt like snakes and cicada bugs? When they finish sloughing off the old layer, do they look like Frenchmen?

        • catnep

          Fascinating, yes. Indeed. This one (the famous Blue Toque) is entering the early Roquefort phase. Very pungent when he’s reached full slough!

    • Dixon Bawls

      Holy cow. That looks like special effects.
      I mean, it’s so dense; there’s so much going on. Maybe you can diminish the effects of it. I’d say a cosmetologist is the key to all this. If you can get that going…

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        If special effects = meth effects, then you’re correct!

        In reality, I was acting a small part in my friend’s short film where I play a nonsensical hobo. This is before the blood effects are added. Later on I get a bullet wound to the forehead as well. It was quite fun.

        PS – I always knew drooling on command would be useful at some point in my life!

        • TapewormBike

          Oh good, between this and poor Percy I really thought all the RLM fans are slowly disintegrating.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Oh, my mind is definitely disintegrating. My body, so far, hasn’t seen the diminishing effects of this yet.

          • Percy Gryce

            Not so much falling apart as being run over–or through. For example, my urethra feels like the Channel Tunnel.

          • Now I Get It

            Years ago, a friend of mine suffered a stricture that could be cleared only by the insertion of a rod of some kind, then his older brother got his testes in a literal twist – “torsion” they called it.

            I’ll admit that, as an adolescent facing a lifetime of bore maintenance and such, I began to wish that I’d been born with girlnads. Apparently, they mature worry-free.

          • Percy Gryce

            Not to turn this space into the Percy Gryce Medical Hour, but I’ve also experienced one of the other conditions you describe above.

            I’ve never quite had the desire not to be male, but I do fear genital mutilation more than just about anything else on earth or in the rest of the nine realms. Just throwing that out there.

          • Now I Get It

            No, nor have I quite. I think it was more like an adolescent’s voir dire, wherein I was a male pretending to be a woman pretending to be a man, peeping through a keyhole at myself fucking Julie Andrews, while she wore a Robert Preston mask. Or something.

            As for transgender, I’ve known only one. I don’t know when he made his decision, but in her middle years things (marriage) began to fall apart, leaving the fallout of an adopted child. The pre-surgery consultations screen for the desire to self-mutilate, of course, but I’ve heard that, regardless, the desire itself is actually a form of nihilism.

            I’m not sure what to think about any of it. But, like Emory from “Boys in the Band”, I was destined to consider any proposition – three times – so, I’m sure that, eventually, I’ll get it.

        • Percy Gryce

          Hobo with an Infection?

    • Now I Get It

      “Ti-Jean goes…” Nope, I’ve got nothing.

    • Percy Gryce

      You had me going there for a minute. And scariest of all, I actually cared about your welfare–although I was equally glad that Canadia was stuck with the medical bill.

  • Alex Lee

    The problem is that reviews without evidence devolves into a case of “that’s your opinion.” It’s much harder to disregard an opinion based on some evidence.

    That, and I don’t really care for all the sifting I have to go through in order to find a review that actually tells me something about the substance of the movie. The whole, “I like/dislike it because it looks like this other thing but executed well/poorly” really tells the reader nothing that can actually persuade them out of their preconceived bias.

    Now, from what I’ve seen, the general audience don’t really read reviews. They tend to judge based on box office revenue and who’s in the film. Reviews don’t really seem have much of an influence on the general audience.
    .

  • Pissernacht

    I expected none of what I just saw…

  • Cole

    I nominate this guy for the next RLM stream-a-thon: http://youtu.be/VlUbr2b5wgY

    • Akeuw

      I can hardly wait.

    • Admiral Bone-to-Pick

      He should talk slower.

    • Thanatos2k

      Will he explain Old Spice next?

      • Now I Get It

        But what I really want to say about all those Axe commercials is: why do those women chase those men when they could just buy the spray?

        And don’t tell me they’re too young to know any better, because that’s just the kind of savvy consumerism they’ve been teaching in Home Economics for decades.

        • Dixon Bawls

          Because it’s the Axe mixed with the manly musk they crave.
          Trust me, I know…(ok, not really.)

          • Now I Get It

            I don’t know. I once sprayed some on my bicycle seat, then watched from a distance for what happened next. The results were disgusting. …Oh, wait, which gland does musk come from?

  • radicalfce

    Give Tenenbaums another chance, Mike. I think it’s one of his better films. I also felt Ben Stiller was a weird casting choice, but the pieces come together by the end.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    An effect that will never diminish: another subtle Lucas fade in.

    You might not have noticed it, but your brain did.

    • Jason

      mike’s never gonna let it go, is he? and, god bless’im, he never should.

    • Thanatos2k

      Last time only my brain noticed it, but I was waiting for it this time.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Anyone else get short of breath whenever Mike decides to address/acknowledge the camera when he’s not supposed to?

      If my erection gets any more out of control I won’t have enough blood going to my brain to function properly.

  • Ludwig Scroggins IV

    What’s with that giant cum stain on the wall next to Jay? Also, what’s with that giant cum stain in the chair next to Jay?

    • TapewormBike

      Yeah that is weird. I don´t remember being on that set.

  • hendrixisgod51784

    I’ve never understood the appeal for Wes Anderson films. They just don’t do anything for me.

    • Joe Syxpac

      Wes does things for me all the time.

      Just last week he made me breakfast in bed.

      • TapewormBike

        So that´s why my lawn wasn´t mowed!

        • Cameron Vale

          *if you know what I mean

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Too soon.

    • Broodix

      “I don’t understand how people like stuff that I don’t like” – Some retard on the internet

  • Ludwig Scroggins IV

    I don’t give flying fuck about 99% of the movies they review. I just come here for the camaraderie and the bagels. And the masturbation.

    • Percy Gryce

      That is the correct attitude.

  • http://www.tankadin.com/ tankadin

    What was up with Jay’s body language? Most of the time, he sat there with his arms crossed.

    • Jordan

      Having your arms crossed during a conversation is positive body language.

      • Cameron Vale

        It’s considered defensive.

        • Percy Gryce

          Whaddaya mean?

          • LelouchtheFilial

            With all this body language analysis that we’re doing, we could be CNN anchors.
            Though, as Redlettermedia commenters, we’re much more productive members of society.
            I’m not being sarcastic.

          • TapewormBike

            Wait, which Denzel Washington movie is this?

          • Percy Gryce

            Olympus Has Fallen Down by the White House.

    • LelouchtheFilial

      I’m sorry to have to bring an anime character into this.

      • LelouchtheFilial

        C-Christ. ANOTHER Anime character? YOU MADE ME DO THIS!

        • LelouchtheFilial

          I-I can’t STOP!
          O-oh, good. It’s just Batman this time.

          • LelouchtheFilial

            Why am I posting another– Oh, GOD! AIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!

  • http://rareenglishrose.com/ Rare English Rose

    Cool video.

    • Beefaroni Bill

      Rose?

  • Jeremy Davis

    For the majority of the video, I thought Rich Evans had lost all his weight so he could portray a more realistic Dead Plinkett. To my shock and awe, it was a skeleton the whole time!

    • AbdulAlhazred

      You fool! Rich Evans clearly played both parts. They just used some advanced CGI effects to create the effect of Rich throwing himself to himself and then back. He is truly the greatest actor of our age.

      • ident

        No, no, no…Richevans pulled a Tom Hanks. They got all the fat shots first and then waited 3 years for him to get Kate Moss skinny to get the rest of the shots.

  • Chris Pendlebury

    I had to say…. that ending was the funniest thing I’ve seen in months.

    • Paul Schumann

      This is still the funniest RLM ending I’ve seen in… forever.
      http://youtu.be/wo1v6KQRlgU?t=2m18s

      • Joe Syxpac

        Not enough poop and vomit.

      • Percy Gryce

        Ahh, they were all so young back then and Jay was Amish for a while.

      • Now I Get It

        That ending was bogus. Everyone knows Rich’s shit don’t stink.

        Theft: 5
        Everyone: 0

  • JohnBigbooty

    I loved Mike’s idea of movies with numbers playing on white screens with constant loud distortion played over the speakers. Brilliant.

  • Hamwich Grabowski

    It really seems that Jay and Mike are on amphetamines in this episode. Watch again and pay attention.

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      Signs and Symptoms of Amphetamine Abuse include:
      Increased body temperature
      Euphoria
      Increased blood pressure
      Dry mouth
      Faster breathing
      Dilated pupils
      Increased energy and alertness
      Decreased fatigue
      Decreased appetite

      I don’t want to watch again to see if they have dilated pupils. Screw that.

      • Cameron Vale

        Their body temperature was acceptable, but their mouths were indeed quite dry.

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          You should have given them more beer after checking their “stats.”

          Beer fixes everything.

    • Percy Gryce

      I’m coming down off of two weeks on Percocet. It’s not fun, I can tell you.

      It’s almost as bad as waiting for new content from RLM.

      • ident

        Legalize it, mon.

        • Joe Syxpac

          I didn’t know that waiting for RLM content had been banned!

          What has this world come to?

    • ident

      If that’s true, I’ll donate to keep them tweaking. More content and cleaner sets.

  • TJ

    Third viewing and I just realized that Jay used the word “Jovial.”

    CURSE YOU BOB STINE!!!

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      He made Joke books before becoming famous for Goosebumps….

      • ident

        Oh, are you speaking of Jovial Bob Stine? I heard his real name is R.L. Stine, the famous author of the Twilight series.

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          Wasn’t he also the author of The DaVinci Code? Or maybe it was The Babysitter’s Club.

          • Percy Gryce

            Hunger Games. Check your facts.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            He stole that idea from the book “Wayside Battles from Wayside Royale.” It’s about a survival school where everyone has potato tattoos.

            Arnold Schwarzenegger is the principal who sends the dead students home on the Kindergarten bus.

          • Mark Bisone

            CURSE YOU COMMON CORE!!!

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            Tommy used a number line to see how many times Arnold Schwarzenegger has said “Get your ass to Mars” and “I’ll be back” in his lifetime. Find his error. Then write a letter telling Tommy why he’s going to get testicular cancer.

    • Cameron Vale

      Come on, jovial is a real word, you flatter Bob Stine by acting like he made it.

  • operationproblem

    Loved the RLM poster in the background disappearing between cuts. I hope it was intentional.

  • Andrew St. Clair

    The beauty of having a style where it seems like a director just does the same thing every time, and uses the same actors every time, is that for one director you disregard that he does it and call him a genius for it, but for another, you use it as an example of him not being a good director.

    That’s the beauty of being a fan. Whenever you’re not a fan of something, whenever it does something wrong, you complain about it. But when you are a fan of something, whenever it does those very same things wrong, it’s perfectly fine.

  • John Nelson

    White screen with nothing but Inception bang bwaaas over and over again.

  • Cynicalwords

    The last five minutes might have been the most fucking hilarious long take I have ever seen.

  • AdeoAdversary

    Good review guys, haven’t seen a wes anderson flick in a while so will probably give Budapest Hotel a chance. But you should actually see the 300 sequel, it was a pretty cool, stylized action movie. I was actually surprised by it, was in the same boat as Jay before I saw it. Also the movie 1638.1: Annihilation sounds awesome (jrrrr….white screen sound).

  • Isaac Thefallenapple

    You spoke of coincideneces while your Cheap Thrill review. I saw Back To The Future III the other day. Coincidence?

    No to be frank what do you think of the Back To The Future movies? I loved the first one, the second one was also good and the third one was so full of coincidences and stuff like that and I asked my self so many questions and I disliked the TWO tacked on moral lessons.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Dear RLM,

      What did you think of the Back to the Future movies?

      Sincerely,

      Isaac Thefallenapple, Some Guy in a Comments Section

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Please respond.

        • ident

          Why haven’t they responded?!

          • Percy Gryce

            Mike only appears incognito. Jay only appears to smite fake Mikes, disclaim his own acting ability, or put errant commenters in their place.

            They don’t do requests.

      • Isaac Thefallenapple

        I know, it was a little bit too long :)

  • Dixon Bawls

    Say, I was wondering what you guys thought of Midnight Run. I thought it was a blast, but I’d still like to know your opinion…

  • atheistconservative

    The only good Wes Anderson film is Bottle Rocket. Everything since then has been a slippery slope of lame hipster stylization with a skeleton of plot driving it.

  • adamfox

    Noah. Review Noah this week. PLEASE!

  • Ryan Williams

    It’s weird how that lawyers office seems to be attached to a kitchen

  • WrongWithYourFace

    So how the hell did Harry S. Plinkett just escape from his cellar if there’s a fucking freeway built on top of it? Continuity error! Unsubscribe!

    • Concerned Citizen

      His brother’s cellar.

      • WrongWithYourFace

        No. Barry stole Harry’s identity and locked him in his own cellar. Didn’t you pay any attention?

  • RPK

    Surely this is Wes Anderson's next film: http://t.co/isJEuhvoZ7 pic.twitter.com/C5FJSWrDod— Andrew Golis (@agolis) March 29, 2014

  • Jacob De Paz

    You hack frauds, using that lameass soap operatic cop out. ;)

  • Joseph Buss

    “Barry S. Plinkett”? Really?

    • Thanatos2k

      I think Larry S Plinkett will be the next brother.

      • Percy Gryce

        Don’t forget Garry S. Plinkett.

        • http://hardycases.com/ Hale

          And his other sister, Marry S. Plinkett.

          • Booger

            Carrie Plinkett would be another great reboot. She get’s covered in Cherry Plinkett before killing her two dads Terry and Perry Plinkett then she drinks a glass of Dairy Plinkett and…I don’t feel good…I feel…Very..Plinkett.

        • Ogrot

          And Harry A. Plinkett

          • Ogrot

            And then there’s Jerry Seinfeld Plinkett

      • Archie Bunker

        And his black half-brother Booker T. Plinkett

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          What about his cousin from the south?

          • Taft you FUCK

            Earl. Simply Earl. We don’t care for last names down here. SINCE WE’RE ALL RELATED. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH*dies*

    • Cameron Vale

      possible pun on “bury”

  • JimTreacher

    BOOBERY!!!

    • Percy Gryce

      With Obama outwitting Putin abroad and with the perfect implementation of Obamacare here at home, I can see that Treacher has plenty of time on his hands to watch RLM’s antics.

      • JimTreacher

        Okay.

      • Now I Get It

        My mother said that, to light the torch at Sochi, Putin was going to breath fire from where he stood, but then that didn’t happen, so, another broken promise at home but clearly another gold for Obama.

      • ident

        I don’t get those references. Is that from the Cop Dog review?

        • Percy Gryce

          No, season 5 of The Grabowskis with a little bit of Dude Bros mixed in.

      • Jason

        Hey, show some respect to the white half-white half-black black president, you racist!

        • Percy Gryce

          Hey, he’s whatever you want him to be:

          • Jason

            Well, now that that’s settled, only one question remains: Great President or Greatest President?

          • Percy Gryce

            Let’s just say that there’s never been another like him.

          • Jason

            Tru dat.

    • Paul Schumann

      wait, you’re here now? RLM is OVER (cue portlandia sequence)

      • JimTreacher

        “Now”?

        • Paul Schumann

          Never seen you in the combox here before. Enjoy your stay my good man.
          (I used to follow you on twitter a while back.)

          • Percy Gryce

            Treacher shows up from time to time. I would guess I saw his first comment here 18 months ago or so–maybe further back.

  • Pebkio Nomare

    I whole heartedly agree with what Jay was trying to do with picking out new movies.
    …because…
    I love things that are different Always.

    Now give us another BotW you hack frauds and it better be just like all the other ones.

  • Now I Get It

    The pre-ILC “The Duck Factory” was too short-lived to be Carrey’s “Mork & Mindy”, but it did last just long enough to prove that he was the same slippery comic oddity as Robin Williams.

    http://tv.shut.net/library/slir/h262-c15.19/content/show/76881/img/poster.jpg

  • durhay

    At the end they describe a movie based off of John Cage’s 4’33″

    • ident

      How so?

      • durhay

        From 21:52 to 22:02 it sounds something like a performance of 4’33″. I should have been more clear.

        • ident

          I can see that. Assuming Andy Warhol didn’t do it already.

    • jaymanxyz2

      Wow. You’re completely right.

  • ident

    Jim Carrey? Isn’t he the white guy who dated Jennie McCarthy and hates vaccines? Or is he that old guy who desperately hit on Emma Stone?

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      I think he’s the white guy who hates guns but doesn’t have a problem making money off of them through violent movies.

      • Taft you FUCK

        This made my brain fizzle.

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          Why’s that?

          • Taft you FUCK

            Jim Carrey + Violent Movies = Um, when?

          • TapewormBike

            Around Kick Ass 2. He refused promoting it because he hates promoting violence. Logic at its finest.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            Kickass 2. That was the reason for him getting slammed in the first place. He made that movie, then decided afterwards that he was against the movie because of its violence, even though he was anti-gun for years before that.

          • Taft you FUCK

            Crap. I feel like a plebe. I totally forgot about this story. Yeah, he was my idol in high school, many years ago, and made some fantastic comedies, but that moment was not his finest. Bet it was real easy to cash that check before he started spouting off at the mouth.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            Loved Ace, Mask, D&D’er. He was my weird high school crush, because climbing out of a rhino’s backside is super sexy.

            I didn’t realize you could fit in the desks of your high school. Were they made special just for you, Mr. President?

          • Taft you FUCK

            I sat Indian style on the floor and wrote all my papers on a pallet made of rotten wood. Other children used me as a beanbag chair. Thanks for reminding me.

  • ident

    They completely plateaued on the Action genre. They need to shock their system with some quirky romcoms and try to increase the resistance with some hardcore period dramas. After a few months, they should be able to come back and hit the Action genre harder than ever push past that plateau.

    • LelouchtheFilial

      As I read your comment, every motivational track from the Rocky movies played in my head at once.
      Discordant yet inspiring.

  • Paul Schumann

    and who could forget Fiennes role as that lovable scamp Amon Goeth…

    • TapewormBike

      The naughty rascal, what crazy adventures await him and his friend Oskar? Find out…

      • Percy Gryce

        You mean, on the Happy Train?

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      He made target practice cheap and easy.

  • Frisco

    What the hell happened to the RLM banner at about 1:30 of the video?! That lawyer’s kitchen is haunted or something, holy cow.

  • Red Rowz

    Very skillful segue in to this week’s film reviews!

  • playdude92 .

    This poor-ass lawyer doesn´t even have windows. The real cost of rebuilding the house will be 100 k, with him keeping all the rest of the city´s settlement.

  • Not Claude Akins

    A failed Weekend at Bernie’s homage? You mean Weekend at Bernie’s 2?

  • Duckler

    So what did Rich think of The Grand Budapepse Motel?

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      He probably felt the hotel was a subtle ad for Pepto-bismol. Wes Anderson is a fraud!

  • TexasDice

    You guys are so funny, smart and witty. I love you, RLM Team.

  • Percy Gryce

    This is recockulous.

  • Alex Lee

    “Rosenblatt.,,” I wonder if he’s related to the one from the Dunkin’ Donuts commercial.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Confirmed for Ralph…

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    They can’t see it just yet, Hopefully they change their minds about it.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    If he can’t afford a phone in his office, he can’t afford a bar cart for mixing, either.

  • Percy Gryce

    That’s an odd coincidence.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I want to see them review Dhoom 3. I don’t know why, but that movie’s just so over-the-top and fun in a way that’s not “film by committee.”

  • catnep

    I would be interested in this too. We shut it off after Tilda Swinton’s shoe speech. What did you think of it?

  • Chris Kaczmarczyk

    Anyone else notice at 1:47 there is a RedLetterMedia banner in the background that wasn’t there in the previous or following shots of that doorway?

    • ident

      No, I believe you’re the first. Did you know Jovial Bob Stine is actually R.L. Stine?

  • twistedboots

    RE: Cheap Thrills: I think there was a point to the movie. I thought the ending brought that whole thing home to what people would do and how far they would go when in desperate measures.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Mike threatened to enroll the lawyer into the MILF terrorist organization if he screwed up. And if that didn’t work-dick stabbing assassins.

    • Now I Get It

      On the other hand, if I was practicing law out of a Wisconsin spider-hole of unpainted drywall, a sexy change like that might be better than a rest.

      Clearly a missed opportunity to join the team of Bruce Cutler and Jacques Verges, two of comedy’s most renowned corpsers.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Oooh, Jessi, Jack, Rich, and Wizard could join in, take 10 minute shifts, and just rotate throughout the 4 hour movie.

    • Booger

      What do you call that? “Worst of the Worst”?

      • Domo_Konnichiwa

        The torture device of the modern age.

  • Darius Sinclair

    Can someone make a gif or vine of Mike saying “Hated it!” and reply to me with it?

  • Greg

    Well, it looks like Half in the Bag takes place in the 80′s. Did anyone else notice the portrait of Ronald Reagan behind the lawyer?

    • Alvur

      You DON’T have a portrait of Ronald Reagan on your wall..?

  • The Summer of George

    And cue: “Exiting Lawyer’s Office: Additional Footage”, in 3, 2, 1…

  • pete smith

    Just watched “you’re next” since you mentioned and I can confirm it sucks urban markets peter.

  • Name

    THX 1138?

    • Alex Lee

      It’s a little unfair to beat up the severely underweight child.

  • babyjew

    I don’t think Cheap Thrills was totally lost on You’re Next as it has the same playful, harsh, straight forward dialogue about one’s life choices that kept You’re Next going . And the end scene of Cheap Thrills, though subtle, is a satisfying way to make a comment on the power of money.

  • Stardog Champion

    Mike should have dress up as Plinkett himself.

    • jaymanxyz2

      But then there would be no hilarious scene! That is, at least not as hilarious. Although it would be interesting to see Mike in Plinkett’s costume. Jay, too.

  • http://www.google.net/ Kenny

    Why not review Need for Speed? I̶t̶ ̶w̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶f̶e̶w̶ ̶m̶o̶v̶i̶e̶s̶ ̶I̶’̶l̶l̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶a̶c̶t̶u̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶s̶e̶e̶n̶ ̶b̶e̶f̶o̶r̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶t̶c̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ YOUr̶ ̶r̶e̶v̶i̶e̶w̶s̶ HACKS. Oops! I almost spilled the secret. Don’t worry I fixed it.

  • bb-15

    OMG! Hilarious ending to this episode. Great job gang.

  • Charon

    “I’m clumsy, but I’m still alive!”

  • Felix K

    You guys really are set design wizards.

  • Booger

    I really enjoyed GBH. I’m not a Wes Anderson fan (have only seen Moonrise Kingdom) but the visual style really grabbed me. It felt separated from but influenced by reality which works because we experience the story through several sources, some of whom may have been unreliable. This made sense to me because the Adrian Brody and Willem Defoe characters were wholly evil without much other dimension like they were being described through the eyes of somebody that viewed them entirely as such. It had some subtext about looking back to older generations and passing on to the next but it was more style over substance. Not a bad thing though, I left the theater thoroughly entertained, engaged, and charmed.

  • Charon

    I’m no hipster, but Wes Anderson truly is the master of contemporary visual representation and perspective in film. He’s also a pretty damned good writer, and he directs his actors well. The Grand Budapest Hotel is charming, witty, and feels convincingly life-like because of the contrast of all three.

    Wes Anderson is talented, smart and driven by his own view of cinema. I honestly can’t think of any of his fellow American filmmakers who can even begin to say how “tight” their production was in comparison. The level of perseverance, craft, and love that goes into his movies is virtually unparalleled, and his peers should be ashamed for hating on such a precise aesthetic.

    • bb-15

      I’m also not “a Wes Anderson devotee”.
      But I liked Budapest Hotel.

      A standard plot point of some of Anderson’s films is that he focuses on younger characters and the older characters tag along (imo) without a decent motivation. Basically I have thought; why is Bill Murray hanging around in “Rushmore”? Or why do the adults in “Moonrise” Kingdom” act like fools while the kids are so wise?
      Anyway that’s my personal taste.

      With “The Grand Budapest Hotel” the pairing of the Ralph Fiennes’ character and Zero worked very well. There was a clear motivation to why Fiennes was in the movie which gave a good balance with the younger characters.

      If Anderson would continue to explore more serious topics in his movies (without everything being farce or fantasy) as he does in this film, but only take it to a deeper level, then I believe he could be a an excellent film maker, maybe even getting to the

  • hawks5999

    No Noah?

    • Noah Roalson

      I’m here! ;)

  • Debao

    Does Mike wax his hands?

    • Quonk

      He probably just burnt off all the hair while messing with pyrotechnics or something.

  • Jason Ross

    Jay was born after 1984? Hax frauds deluxe.

  • http://delborovic.com Del Borovic

    Oh my god. The ending to this episode had me crying with laughter. Especially the part where Jay tried to balance on both of the chairs. I just lost it! Keep up the awesome, guys!!

  • Rob Hruska

    I think you should be putting your efforts into more Plinkett reviews. With all respect, and I have a lot for you, these just aren’t as entertaining as the Plinkett reviews. Not sure why you stopped doing those in favor of this.

  • Grant Butler

    I read the movie title as Cheap TH Bills and thought it was a documentary on whatever TH Bills are in America lmao..

  • Lembach

    That Cheap Thrills poster looks like Gordon Ramsay screaming. “You cut off my bloody finger! You $%&*ing DONKEY!”

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  • Joe

    At some point Mike says about “The Royal Tenenbaums”: “there was a shot of Ben Stiller and his two children and they are all wearing matching track suits and I just thought to myself ‘fuck this movie’”.

    That is my issue for me with Wes Anderson, there is a moment like that early on in each of his films (and more moments throughout the film) where I just think to myself “fuck this movie”. Where it just feels like Wes Anderson has taken a tire iron with the word “artsy” written on it and has cracked me hard on the back of the skull with it. And every time such a moment happens it becomes pretty much impossible for me to forget that moment and move on and enjoy the movie. I’ll give Grand Budapest a shot based on their suggestion. But if the movie busts out a submarine cross-section, or an Owen Wilson nose bandage (because for some reason we need to call more attention to Owen Wilson’s nose) I’m going to be upset.

    I guess what always upsets me is that nobody in Wes Anderson films every notices how weird their Wes Anderson universe is, and if I were in that universe I would constantly be asking “why is that person acting random and weird”? And because none of his characters seem to do that, I can’t relate to any of them. Anyway I’ll give the movie a true chance though. I expect to dislike it, but I truly do not want to.

    • Mercutio

      those things that upsets you and take you out of the movie is to me just funny things. i loved the silly chase scene.

      • Baron Teapot

        Yeah, it’s silly. But that’s sort of what’s fun about it. Did you ever read Roald Dahl books as a kid? :-)

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  • ダニエル ダール

    Posters only? Pay to sit in cinema, play on my phone to a blank screen with loud noises, eat popcorn, then watch the credits at the end? Where do I sign up?

  • iiiis

    Can someone tell me what Mike was referencing after Jay said Troma

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  • bb-15

    Just saw this again, to see the last bit at end. One of the funniest RLM moments, ever.

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