Half in the Bag: Cheap Thrills and The Grand Budapest Hotel

March 29, 20142,499 Comments

After a failed Weekend at Bernie’s homage, Jay and Mike discuss two non-Hollywood films in an attempt to regain their sanity.

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Filed in: Half in the Bag

  • ident

    I knew refreshing every 5 minutes for 36 straight hours would pay off! I made this happen!!!

  • Joe Bloggs


  • Matias Rivero

    YES! a new HITB!

  • Fart Face

    “After a failed Weekend at Bernie’s homage, Jay and Mike discuss two non-Hollywood films in an attempt to regain their sanity.”
    Woah, for a second I thought that the last word was ‘credibility’, and I KNEW that didn’t make sense… HAHAHA, Love you guys!

  • thomtinuviel


  • TheSeacow

    Gonna be a RLM night tonight, have to watch the half in the bag, then fall asleep to the beautiful gorilla interrupted commentary track

  • eddyk

    Was just about to go to work, guess I will be 29min late.

  • Ubik

    Continuity errors made this episode even more fun.

  • Ledechev

    I helped!

  • LelouchtheFilial

    “I only have the power of Greyskull.”
    Jay– Waaaaaay confirmed for gay.

  • Goose511th

    Listen to this while they try to get Barry S. Plinkett’s skeleton out of the office: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcDsBVZvRDM

  • Aquaman

    Never heard of Cheap Thrills til now… lol, now I’m curious to watch it. Grand Budapest is a must see!

  • LelouchtheFilial

    I can see why Mike remembers that episode of The Simpsons, what with the panda raping Homer and all.

  • Matias Rivero

    “Laugh you asshole, laugh” -Mike Stoklasa

  • fskn

    Alright, alright, please stop with that ending, I can’t stand it anymore!

  • kuhpunkt

    Hey, Godzilla and The Raid 2 are upcoming movies! Both look very good.

  • Svas Tara

    fuqing finally!
    you haaaaaaaaaaaaaaacks!
    woof! woof!

  • noxcovenant

    This was the worst HITB I’ve ever watched.

    I’ll expand when I press play and actually watch it though.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    It was okay.
    I haven’t seen it, but that’s my review of it.

  • LukeMM95

    That ending was fucking brilliant!

  • LelouchtheFilial

    “I appreciate them letting that scene go on for twenty-five minutes.”
    –Jay, on the last scene of this episode.
    I went on for ENTIRELY too long and I really, really loved it.

  • Sam

    That ending was the perfect summation of Mike and Jay’s sense of humor. The longer it went on, the more I laughed

  • Benzo

    Erm, guys. Maybe get rid of the clock next time you shoot the opening scene…

  • Percy Gryce

    Jay has the power.

  • Nils

    If jay likes films that makes him feel like shit after watching, what might he think of “Threads”?

  • Welcome Back Otter

    So, when is the next Barry S. Plinkett review? Oh.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    Jay having the Power of Greyskull is the most blatant confirmation for gay I can think of.
    They’d better get Jay a lady-friend or have him check out a big-titted woman in the next Half in the Bag episode in order to convince the audience he’s got the Not-Gays.

  • Meester Smeeth

    I can’t wait for you guys to not watch Justice League and then not talk about it because you’ve seen it all before and there’s nothing left to say. Could this be the beginning of a new age of Half In The Bag?

  • Percy Gryce

    This is weird. HITB is now set in my office.

  • Percy Gryce

    Jay, check your goram facts: Stefan Zweig was Austrian.

  • Now I Get It

    Yaaaaay! It’s Mike’s half-brother.

  • thatsrightjay

    That guy playing the lawyer has the exact same voice as Mike… weirding me out.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    mindless action is indeed the epitome of cinematic quality.

  • kuhpunkt

    Who says those movies are mindless action? Godzilla by Gareth Edwards will be a serious movie. Just watch his debut movie “Monsters” and you will seem that he his simply the perfect choice.

    And The Raid 2 won’t be mindless as well. The first one was short on that, but it was never stupid and offensive like this Transformers crap. And the second one will be much different, spanning over several years instead of just one day. It’s almost 2 1/2 hours long for fucks sake.

  • Monty

    But is the continuity error of the appearing and disappearing Red Letter Media Sign in the outer room proof that they are indeed hack frauds? Or is it a show of their true and subtle genius. An exploration into the over use of product placement in modern cinema perhaps??

  • Now I Get It

    And just when was it that you decided to become an actuary?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Show me one giant monster movie that got something else going for it besides the action.Also I’m pretty sure Gareth Edwards didn’t made Monsters with a bunch of studio executives breathing down his neck.Few people get creative freedom in hollywood and I can bet he’s not one of them.

  • Jean-François Martel


  • Percy Gryce

    That was my thought too. Damn, the Stoklasa family tree is getting as complicated as Plinkett’s.

  • Percy Gryce


  • Percy Gryce

    Right after I was disbarred.

  • Percy Gryce

    This music track runs a little short for the skeleton-removal scene. Got any other recommendations?

  • Percy Gryce

    And to think, Bisone used to have to sacrifice goats and perform other dark rituals to make this happen.

  • IsolateMutate

    That ending sequence was more impressive than that long, one-shot escape sequence from True Detective.

  • Percy Gryce

    Psst. Here’s a hint, go to work and watch it on the clock. That’s what I do.

  • Jason

    I actually like Wes Anderson’s particular brand of whimsy, but based on the trailer I honestly thought #GBH was a parody or knockoff of Wes Anderson’s style. It’s the equivalent of Arnold Schwarzenegger saying “I’ll be back.” over and over again for 90 minutes: we get it, it’s your thing, but you don’t have to saturate every inch of your movie with it. I need some breathing room, Wes, maybe we should see other people for a while, just to see how it feels.

  • Now I Get It

    I was disbarred for awhile, then I was dat bard.

  • Rubetarion

    “I’m your three o’clock appointment.. at 2:22. Watch how it takes 2 minutes for you to say “are you a relative of his?” :)

  • Percy Gryce


  • kuhpunkt

    Actually, the first Godzilla movie from 1954 was very dark in tone and that movie wasn’t about the action at all. Most people think of all those cheesy movies when they hear Godzilla. And sure, most of those are just that – mindless fun. Or sometimes just crap. But Godzillas origin is something else. Emmerich’s attempt didn’t have anything what Godzilla stands for. The new movie looks quite the opposite with most focus on the human story with some clever twists. And sure, Godzilla has a bigger budget than Monsters, but reports mention, that he continued his style and made this movie like an independent flick. And the trailers support just that.

  • Percy Gryce

  • dollar store cashier wife

    jar jar is the key to all of this.

  • Jason

    it* went on for entirely too long. #facepalm I was about to up your post and then THAT happened. L2 proofread n00b!

  • LelouchtheFilial

    Oh, I was talking about my masturbation.

  • thatsrightjay

    Now I Get It

  • Svas Tara

    is this attorney guy mikes older brother or something? :D they sound almost identical (plus look a bit alike;)

  • Michael Aronson

    As someone who really hasn’t loved the Marvel Studios filmed, certainly much less than Mike and Jay have, I thought Cap 2 was their best production. I hope they give it a shot. Maybe it’s a film made by a studio committee, but it’s one that really has a clear and inspired vision.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Hopefully.It’s easy to appear as a hopeless cynic on the internet but giving the benefit of the doubt to big movies more often then not just gives negative results

  • Jason

    Raid 2 you hack frauds

  • sepiajack

    How did you see it? It’s not even out yet is it??

  • sepiajack

    From the thumbnail of Cheap Thrills (having never heard of that movie) I thought it was Simon Pegg

  • sepiajack

    If we can get him working…

  • sepiajack

    Wow I didn’t notice the lawyer’s similar voice to Mike’s until I saw the comments below, but upon rewatching it, it is uncanny.

  • Now I Get It

    Same nose, too.

  • sepiajack

    That looks suspiciously like the Best of the Worst viewing room couch sneaking into the far right side of the frame too

  • kuhpunkt

    Sure. I’m not hyped in any way, but I’m looking forward to it very much. And I’m sure some people will be disappointed because this won’t be a fun movie, but also many people might be surprised, because they won’t expect something like Edwards take on it. Monsters is one of my favourite movies of the past years and I’ve seen enough people who there like “duh, there are almost no monsters, wtf”. And in the end, I’m a sucker for giant monster battles, then they are combined with a good human drama at its core… like the Evangelion franchise. Pacific Rim was much fun, but lacked good characters. Godzilla… I’m sure it won’t be bad. And the cast is damn good as well.

    If I had to guess, expecting 7/10 or 8/10 is fair and well reasoned. If it’s better, awesome.

  • Michael Aronson

    Aha, I thought it wasn’t out in the US yet.

    I’m not in the US.

  • sepiajack

    Oh okay, I’m in Canada but we must have the same release as the US, I was just google searching and I see it was released internationally first. Kinda weird for a movie called captain america to be released last in america. I’m glad it was good though, I’m looking forward to it. The Marvel movies may be studio/committee movies, but I’ve enjoyed each of them in their own way so far.

  • Jason

    More Star Wars review references? Here we go again…

  • omitted

    “I only have the power of Greyskull”

    Oh Jay, it’s a crime against humanity that after that line you didn’t become shirtless, raise your “sword” and get hit by a lightning!

    By the way, I liked 300: Rise of an Empire and Captain America: The Return of the First Winter Avenger Soldier in the War of the Five Kings for the One Ring – part 2, as it was released here in Finland

  • Ben Haworth

    I really hope you guys review Noah. It was so batshit insane, and I think Jay would love it for that reason. Seriously, it has rock monsters and violent murder!

  • sepiajack

    Oh 300: Rise of an Empire, where my lust and obsession of EVA GREEN is in direct conflict with my hatred and contempt for 300.

  • Michael Aronson

    Funny thing, in Korea (where I live), the first Captain America movie wasn’t even called “Captain America: The First Avenger.” It was simply called “The First Avenger” in Korean. Cap 2 retains its full title, though.

    But yeah, you’ll fucking love it. I came into this film with something of a negative bias, as the first Cap is the only Marvel Studios film I hadn’t seen, because I expected it to be boring. But Cap 2? Better than the first Iron Man, easily.

    It’s the only Marvel Studios film that has a good third act. All the other third acts have been crap.

  • omitted

    NOOOOOOUUUUUU!!!! Get those filthy females off my Jay!

  • sepiajack

    I liked the 3rd act of THOR 2 just because it reached Doctor Who levels of weird and wacky, but yeah I would agree otherwise, Avengers aside. I was curious when they hired the Russo bros if they could handle the big action since their resume doesn’t really speak to that, but looks good from the trailers, I’m excited to see it this friday. I think X-men, Guardians of the Galaxy and Godzilla all look promising too.

  • omitted

    Yes, that is the appropriate reaction to seeing Jay

  • sepiajack


  • Michael Aronson

    My biggest criticism of Cap 2 is the title and promotion. Neither conveys how central to the cinematic Marvel Universe this film is. It is very much a direct sequel to Avengers.

  • omitted

    Eva who? Yeah, I guess there were some tits in there somewhere. I was far too busy ogling at all the ABS! *drool*

  • sepiajack

    Some good non-committee, non-sequel to the reboot of the remake of the comic book movies released in 2014 so far:
    -Strangers by the Lake
    -Under the Skin
    -Jorodorwsjy’s Dune

    Plus I got a big kick out of LEGO, though that seems a movie they would be unlikely to watch.

  • sepiajack

    She was in The Dreamers, Casino Royale, Womb, Kingdom of Heaven

  • sepiajack

    That actually increases my interest, I love misleading marketing for movies

  • omitted

    Here in Finland the official title is “Captain America: Return of the First Avenger” but the all the poster’s still retain “The Winter Soldier” bit too. It’s a bloody mess

  • TJ

    I hope this cures my birthday bash hangover.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Or you could do it in the hospital.

  • sepiajack

    Hair of the Half in the Bag that bit you… nah I got nothing. But happy birthday!

  • elgatoblanco

    great review, and I’m happy to see that Mr. Plinkett is alive and well. and gosh, am I looking forward to see that Hercules movie that Jay and Mike reviewed three fucking months ago when it comes to theaters in May here in Germany.

  • sepiajack

    Hopefully The Winter Soldier strikes enough of a chord with audiences to warrent his own Marvel spinoff movie:

    Winter Soldier: The Captain America

  • Paul Schumann

    hahahaha love the In Living Color reference Mike!

  • pete smith

    wow even trailer of budapest hotel looks painfully unfunny

  • http://hardycases.com/ Hale

    I saw an advanced screening of Raid 2 a few weeks ago aaaand…

    …It was pretty damn good. Did you see their Dredd review where they mentioned the violence was filmed in a way that made it both beautiful and grotesque at the same time? That’s pretty much every action scene in he movie.

  • http://hardycases.com/ Hale

    She’s literally the only reason I want to see the movie, based on how bat-shit insane and entertaining her performance is supposed to be.

  • http://macaulay.us/ Scottland559

    Where’s the beef indeed.

  • Bahareh Khosravi

    Is Mr.Plinkett here a metaphor for the dead art of cinema and the people who unceremoniously and unabashedly animate its corpse for money? I’ll let you decide….but the answer is yes,

  • omitted

    What we really need is a spinoff for the Stan Lee cameo:

    Security Guard: Return of Agent 13 and Falcon in the Age of pregnant Black Widow pining after Hawkeye in a Dark World with some new Villain with a Cool Name

  • kuhpunkt

    Yeah, the reviews after the Sundance screening were… well… pretty damn good :P

    I watched the trailers about 50 times each, because it’s just so nuts. The Raid was already great and Gareth Evans surely knows what he’s doing. So Gareth Evans and Gareth Edwards = fuck yeah.

  • Mark Bisone

    For the sake of a million Petes, would someone chain that hackfraud Stoklasa to a wall and force him to watch “The Royal Tenenbaums”? Tape his eyes open Clockwork Orange-style if necessary. Best Gene Hackman’s been in a flick since “Unforgiven”.

  • Mark Bisone

    What do you think happened to that plane, motherfucker?

  • Archibaldino Michæl

    the end door scene needs a collectors edition 40 min LOTR ending

  • Alex Lee

    They should just make “The Stan Lee” movie. He’s the only reason people watch the screen so intently.

  • Kishi Jugo

    Is it okay to hate both Wes Anderson and Theater Friendly Unit Shifter Turtles 300 #2019874? I feel like I want to do both of that.

  • questin

    4K when?

  • Paul Schumann

    Hmm, interesting. Cause the Raid was kind of exhausting to me. The fight sequences involving dudes getting punched and kicked and then running and getting punched and kicked some more just didn’t seem realistic. Sort of like how in Expendables (1 or 2 I can’t remember) Stallone is punching this guy and getting punched and you hear the theater rumbling as bones are getting crunched, yet they’re all fine with no lasting damage.

    I get that its stylized violence, but those two movies took me out of it. I think trying to be super-gritty n realistic isn’t the best combination with throwback 80’s action heroics…

  • sepiajack

    I can’t tell if this by accident or design, but she has this uncanny habit of picking projects where she is the ONLY good thing about them, which of course really allows her to shine. That show CAMELOT she was in a couple of years ago was a good example; it was just the worst, but she was amazing in it, both in terms of acting and hotness. And everything I’ve heard about 302 is the same, it’s awful but she’s bat shit awesome in it.

  • sepiajack

    Half brother

  • Paul Schumann

    So help me to understand this “wes anderson hate” thing. In my naivete I’d assume that if I didn’t like a director’s style I just wouldn’t watch his movies. Or is it anger that he is one of only a few that consistently makes reasonably intelligent well-made movies? That to see something “smart” you feel you’re going to be subjected to his style?
    Or maybe it’s like michael bay hate – all the dumb people are crowing about teh splosions. Only this time it’s all the pretentious people glowing about the artistic vision of Anderson. I guess I can understand that. Thanks guys!

    (For what it’s worth, I just struggled through Tenenbaums a week ago. I’ve seen all of his films save Fantastic Mr. Fox and GBH, but really only enjoyed Rushmore and Moonrise.)

  • Daniel Nguyen-Phuoc

    I actually enjoyed the new Captain America. More than the first, for sure. Despite it not really feeling like it had any kind of directorial mark or art to it, it was a pretty competent superhero movie.

    I suspect that part of the reason I’m saying this is because The Wolverine made no sense, so I’m honestly just encouraged by any superhero movie which doesn’t give me a fork in the brain.

  • Hasan the Butcher

    Good list especially Jodorowsky’s Dune, except it made me kind of sad that I will never get to see that movie; it would have been awesome.

  • Dixon Bawls

    *sits down with coffee and clean fedora*

  • Felipe Salvatore
  • Brandon Allen-Trick

    I’m with you guys, Life Aquatic is an awesome movie, but Rotten Tomatoes
    apparently rates it at 53% vs the rest of his movies in the 80-100%
    range. WTF?!

  • Jason

    And Plinkett’s sweet wife represents the US gold standard, murdered by Emperor Roosevelt in 1933 via Executive Order 66. Now forever buried under the freeway of fiat currency, forgotten.

  • Gene Parmesan

    I think this suits everything.

  • Mark Bisone

    Instead of the Mike’s white noise screen, how about a blurry screenshot of Jessica Alba’s butt and an Applebee’s sign, set to the soundtrack of the Emergency Broadcast System. They can call it, “The Breakfast Club Remake”, because that is a thing that is going to happen no matter how hard you pray.

  • Clan:Rewired_CCW

    Ray Fiennes?

  • Jason

    Fuck. Now anyone can make a Wes Anderson movie.

  • TapewormBike

    Trent Haaga has my utter most respect for dealing with loads (someone might say “Lloyds”) of bullshit on Troma sets ands surviving. Sometimes while wearing diapers and no pants.

  • Dr. Blake Downs

    It seems like the lawyer has a conflict of interest since he is a fan of RLM with his magical banner that appears and disappears from shot to shot above the fridge. Actually come to think of it, that would be awesome to have, is it in your store yet?

  • TapewormBike

    Anybody mentioned Heavy Rain in regards to pinky cutting already?

  • Gene Parmesan

    That’s going to be battling it out in the box office with #26509. That’s Two and a HALF hours of white noise. You know how many Facebook updates i can make with that time, Thank you Film industry.

  • KonradZell

    “Monsters” was made by essentially an amateur director, writer, and cameraman (all the same guy, actually) and with amateur actors, and boy did it show. Maybe we’ll be surprised, but I wouldn’t use ‘Monsters” as a selling point for “Godzilla.”

  • TapewormBike

    Well, his actual name is not to be said.

  • Brett

    I am very curious to see what you guys think of Noah…..

  • Gene Parmesan

    Those were hashed out when Rich had his pinky cutting accident on BOTW.

  • TapewormBike

    I have PTSD caused by that, which causes amnesia specific to those comments. …….for some reason

  • Jason

    I see the director’s cut of Prometheus is finally out.

  • Gene Parmesan

    I’m shocked Mike doesn’t realize that his predictions on the future of cinema has already started, anyone remember Movie 43? Number for a title and hours of white noise.

  • http://www.according2robyn.blogspot.com/ According2Robyn

    I like Jay because he’s good at physical humor.

    Jay was the skeleton, right?

  • TapewormBike

    I have a feeling that was actually Rich. We already know he goes full Method when it comes to eating, so…

  • Jason

    I don’t remember saying this…

  • Guest
  • TapewormBike

    Well that just means that half of critics did not get it, right? Enjoy being better then those schmfucks.

  • Mark Bisone

    This is gonna sound bizarre, but I’d really like to see Anderson take a crack at something in the horror genre. Many great horror movies are only a few beats from comedy tonally, and I’d like to see him apply that childlike spatial logic of his to a nightmare scene.

    Ditto goes for Michel Gondry, although I guess you could say “Eternal Sunshine” turns into pure psychological horror at a certain point.

  • Now I Get It

    Aka “Mike’s puppet,” that’s right. And I’m more than a little shocked that you would suggest such a thing – so obliquely.

  • Jason

    Whoever he is, he does a really good straight man routine. I hope he becomes a regular.

  • Mark Bisone

    By “get it”, you mean the check, right?

  • TapewormBike

    I wholeheartedly agree. The best horror movies always came from auteurs and auteurs who did not know the genre all that well at that (Shining, I would argue Alien). Now almost all the horror movies are I feel to self – referential in regards to the genre, which just underlies to me how stale it is.

  • TapewormBike


  • Dixon Bawls

    So glad Mike didn’t use his real Plinkett voice with the deadPlinkett.

  • Jason

    You bought ‘Clockwork Orange-style’ from the Popular Movie Reference Warehouse on Bloor and Bathurst. I know because I sold it to you!

  • TapewormBike

    I use to write reviews for a while. Are you telling me people sell out for more than a rubber-gloved hand job?

  • kuhpunkt

    Is every director’s debut work of an amateur? And sure, everyone but the 2 main characters were just locals, but the 2 main characters were no amateurs at all. (and the female lead is cute as hell!)

    And Monsters was more or less just a road movie, but I loved very second of it. It was kinda slow, but the world felt so lived in and it looked so stunning. Amazing cinematography.

    Godzilla is simply a logic consequence to that. Just a bigger budget, more horror/terror, more action and Bryan Cranston + Elizabeth Olsen = win.

  • Jason

    it might be filled with crap, but it’s delicious. you were referring to Jessica Alba’s ass, right?

  • Wasperheimer

    What, no homicidal Japanese gardeners or unwitting necrophilia? You have failed Bernie’s! You have failed us!

  • TapewormBike

    I always find it cute when I see people adressing Mr. Plinkett under the old reviews.

  • Clan:Rewired_CCW


  • TapewormBike

    I always am.

  • Mark Bisone

    Yeah, my thinking exactly. It’s one of those genres that practically begs for newcomers who don’t exactly know what to “do” with it, because the people who work consistently in it are trapped in a bunch of old tropes.

    I’d add Polanski to the list for “Fearless Vampire Killers” and “Rosemary’s Baby” and Spielberg for “Poltergeist” (all of which I think are also great examples of the tonal closeness of comedy and horror).

  • TapewormBike

    Properly at least.

  • Jason

    It woulda been great.

  • TapewormBike

    Oh hell yes. (Hellraiser 3…too controversial to like?)

  • Mark Bisone


  • Dixon Bawls

    Upvoted for mentioning “Fearless Vampire Killers.”

  • sepiajack

    I would second that request. Somehow the horror would seem more terrifying in the child’s popup book type innocent visuals.

    I would also love to see him do a Scifi film. The equivalent of Steve Zizzou in space.

  • TapewormBike

    Butt fihst I gots to get off Twittah!

  • Yezzir!

    Nice crazy wide angle. That’s what you get for not building an elaborate set, you hacks.

  • sepiajack

    Man does Evans know how to take a fall. He makes that kind of ‘painful’ physical humor look effortless.

  • Striker, Ted

    Star Wars review references are like sand, they’re coarse, rough, and they get everywhere.

  • TapewormBike

    Years of practice (read: being told by Stoklasa to fall on the ground and being laughed at after)

  • Gabe Calderon

    I laughed so much at the end… There are people in this house that think something is wrong with me

  • Mark Bisone

    So you’re saying Anderson should direct “Star Trek 3: Into Startrekness”?

  • Guest

    There seems to be a RLM sign in the lobby of the lawyer’s office……..He must be a big fan! Just kidding; you suck, you hypocritical frauds!

  • Jason Robins

    There seems to be a RLM sign in the lobby of the lawyer’s office……..He must be a big fan! Just kidding; you suck, you untalented frauds!

  • Rei Grim

    The image of Hugh Jackman with balls on his neck scared me for life and sadly I won’t be able to forget that image so easily! :(

  • Mark Bisone

    Never seen it. Gotta say I was never really a fan of those films, though the first one had a few interesting moments from what I can recall.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    some people think he’s all about style over substance.also let’s face it no matter how well made it is-a quirky drama about depression,family issues and failed love set to indie music is just gonna alienate a decent amount people.

  • Striker, Ted

    It’s gonna be great.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    The Raid had juuuuuuuust enough of a plot to make you invested in what was happening.
    I remember what Jay said about Die Hard– “It wasn’t a SMART movie, but it was a smartly-MADE movie.”
    I’d say the same thing about Raid.
    The one in the blue bottle.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    or winning hot dog eatting contests against roger ebert.

  • Striker, Ted
  • dollar store cashier wife

    nonsense.Gay Cowboys Eating Pudding #9 comes out next week so the art of cinema is here to stay.

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    I’m a little wary of Wes Anderson since “Moonrise Kingdom.” I don’t like kid actors. I especially don’t like it when the kids are the main characters. And I get horribly uncomfortable when I see kids in movies performing an almost-sex scene.

    I think I understood how most people felt when they saw the movie, “Child Bride,” in theaters. Just a whole lotta “Nope!” going on.

    With that said, nothing beats The Royal Tenenbaums.

  • Dixon Bawls

    “…but he can diminish those effects [wink]”
    These really are just for us…

  • Now I Get It

    The man was downright poised delivering those lines, as if he has a self all his own and experienced the world outside of the arts. …An unlikely hypothesis, I know.

  • TapewormBike

    Those child actors were great though. It always works for me when I feel I can relate them to my young self (guess which one was closest to me from Moonrise Kingdom. How did you guess it was Edward Norton?!).

  • Paul Schumann

    Never heard of it; sounds like I need to watch it.

  • Paul Schumann

    I’ve already said he needs to take over the new Starship Troopers…

    High philosophy and exquisitely designed power suits, what’s not to love?

  • Paul Schumann

    I loved the whole idealized scout camp thing, mostly because it was the opposite of what I experienced at scout camp!

  • TapewormBike

    Exactly. I am pretty unabashed Anderson fanboy. All his movies have this bittersweet feeling of nostalgia, because he basically always is telling a story about being a kid and growing up.

  • Striker, Ted

    At a certain point a fight scene stops being a fight and becomes a dance recital, the Raid was fun, but suffered from that.

  • Mark Bisone

    The girl in particular was very good. She’s got a bright future ahead of her if she can avoid becoming a booze-swilling, pill-gobbling, narcissistic showbiz psychopath.

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    I’ll have to respectfully disagree with you about how good the kids were at acting. Granted, their acting then is better than my best acting ever, so I will give them that. But to me, they were just lifeless. It was like they were just reading their lines in the most bored way possible.

    I did like Edward Norton, Bill Murray, Frances McDormand, and Bruce Willis. I wish it had more Bill Murray in it. I think I could watch an entire movie of nothing but Bill Murray, though. He could be sitting in a room, by himself, mumbling random things, and I would enjoy it.

  • TapewormBike

    My thoughts precisely. How do you pull what is basically a femme fatale AND and so much internal pain at once at that age?

  • Striker, Ted

    I agree, I thought the kids were a product of Anderson’s directing more than their own acting ability, the world around them is what carried that movie. It’s weird when Bruce Willis reminds people he can’t act, isn’t it?

  • TapewormBike

    Agreed on Bill Murray:). In regards to the kids, well, the beauty of art is in the subjectivity, so I will hardly turn you around on it. I felt they conveyed a whole lot of emotions, but granted, it might not have been as refined as the big pros, so it might not jive the same for everyone.

  • http://www.pewpewpew.de/ PewPewPew

    Jay and Mike are FRAUDS

  • Jason

    I think the scene where Luke Wilson cuts himself in Tenenbaums hints that Anderson has a bit of a darker edge and could definitely make a decent, or even great horror film with some truly haunting scenes and characters.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    it looks like a glorious mess.

  • TapewormBike

    The jump cut to the bloodied bully in Monrise Kingdom and then the dog? My gf refused to watch the rest of the movie after that.

  • Dixon Bawls

    Is the lawyer the same guy from the “hipster VCR party” episode, sans mustache?
    The one Mike refers to as “Hey…asshole…”?

  • Striker, Ted

    Upvoted for making me think of “Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter.”

  • dollar store cashier wife

    ol wes sure likes animal cruelty.

  • sepiajack

    The three ‘number’ title movies I own are: 2001 A space Odyssey, 21 Jump Street, and 12 Monkeys. They all have 2s and 1s in the title sit next to each other on my blu ray shelf, yet 3 more different movies from each other I can’t think of.

  • Mark Bisone

    Yes. And even Owen Wilson’s death scene in “The Life Aquatic” showed some potential flair for horror, the way the blood is eventually revealed on the bobbing waves, letting you know the scene has just turned around on you.

  • sepiajack

    I feel like this photo somehow captures everything that needs to be said about current North American pop “culture” in a single image

  • Jason

    Take it away! TAKE IT AWAY!

  • sepiajack

    So creepy. LIke Garbage Pale kids creepy

  • Mark Bisone

    Upvoted for making me think of Cap’n Crunch.

  • Martin the Warrior

    Plinkett’s lawyer must be pretty good.

  • Dixon Bawls

    downvoted for reminding me of this…

  • Jason

    why do you think they have him chugging an ice cold beer in every scene? everyone knows the gays don’t like beer.

  • Jason

    haven’t seen Moonrise :/ sounds like it might be worth a viewing though just for that scene.

  • Paul Schumann

    Yeah, I thought who is this guy with short wisps of blonde hair playing the cop? Why isn’t he in more films? oh wait… but for this he’s terrrrrrrible (and bald)

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    Mike sees straight into your soul

  • TapewormBike

    Phillip, dynamite!

  • Jason

    “Stare long enough into the abyss, and the abyss will stare back.” -Friedrich Shakesman

  • Like Icare

    What most people don’t realize is that there is a joke in that scene, that you are not supposed to get right away, and then you do…

    It’s really subtle.
    Cause the turtle says something like “It’s OK, it’s just a mask.” to Megan Fox and then he takes off his bandana and waves it in front of her face, after which she passes out.

    Which is funny because she is an ACTRESS!
    And she’s lying DOWN on a job!
    Get it!

  • TapewormBike

    “When´s the next Plinkett review, you hack fraud!”

  • Dixon Uranus

    MRW I saw there was a new HitB video

  • Dixon Uranus

    MRW I saw there was a new HitB episode

  • Dixon Bawls

    I made a prediction on another webzone, and I stick by it:
    They have lips so they can kiss someone/something…

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    HATE’ed it!

  • Ogrot

    That lawyer is living the dream. His office is connected to the Holy Trinity Episcopal soup kitchen and he gets to talk to Rich Evans. Also the door behind him that was out of frame leads is the rear entrance to The Renewed Hopes Methadone Clinic pharmacy.

    He technically never needs to go home again.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    The computer monitor by Mike’s left hand disappeared, too, because crap PC products can’t handle a toy skeleton being thrown around.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Or the morgue!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Can we add A Fantastic Fear of Everything with Simon Pegg to your list?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I would love to see them rip Wonder Woman apart. That movie’s just begging for a slaughter fest of criticism.

  • Mark Bisone

    Luckily, that turned out to be the Cap’n’s twin brother, Barry S. Crunch.

  • Monty

    Aw man, now I’ve to watch the whole thing again!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Some birthday cake for you. I won’t eat any of it. I promise!


  • Dr. Blake Downs

    Who’s to say it didn’t work? We clearly got content. It seems to me we all have to join him in these rituals to get content more frequently from these hacks.

  • sepiajack

    Don’t you mean Theodore Miller? Who is the Australian man who stared in that movie????

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Omitted doesn’t care. Eva don’t got the abs.

  • sepiajack

    I blame the same ILMer who added the rocks around R2D2 for the Star Wars blu ray

  • Jason

    well, there’s more to being a straight man than just acting normal; it’s acting normal while dealing with complete chuckleheads. remember how Jimmy Fallon would ruin every SNL skit by cracking up in the middle of it? that’s an example of a bad straight man. of course that was Fallon’s “thing” apparently, and why people liked him…or so I’m told.

  • Jason

    the banner shot first!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Some of us settle for hookers. We have standards, y’know.

  • Jason

    Obviously you’ve never seen The Fountain, or else the image of Hugh Jackman with balls on his neck would be completely overshadowed by Hugh Jackman thirstily drinking semen out of a tree.

  • TJ

    I am offended. I’m not THAT old.

  • Striker, Ted

    Oh Jesus, not Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtlettes”? Fuck you Michael Bay, in advance.

  • Mark Bisone

    Whoa there, cowboy! If that’s gonna be the case, it needs a few extra touches…

  • Dixon Bawls

    Half turtle, half fox, ifyaknowhatimean

  • bob665

    Your review has convinced me to watch a movie I would have passed on. The lawyer
    was pretty good, he had good timing.

  • Striker, Ted

    That’s the only thing that would be worse than female teenage mutant turtles ninjas, with like pink headbands, my prophecy will come true…in the sequel.

  • Dixon Bawls

    we shell see…

  • Striker, Ted

    It’s gonna be great…wait I already used that one.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Well since you’re so sensitive, I’ll just get you a vagina cupcake for your birthday instead.


  • Dixon Bawls

    Did anyone see “Sparks” yet?
    Pretty good for low-budge

  • catnep

    David Koechner could be the Gordon Jump of his generation.

  • catnep

    The face that launched a thousand somethings…

  • Jason

    wait…so vaginas really do have teeth?! I thought that was just a movie

  • omitted


  • pit

    First time I’m disappointed in Half in the bag. Two movies I don’t give a flying fuck about either way and ones that have nothing to discuss about them.
    Captain murica 15? Avengers 19? Yes, Mike, talk about exactly that.

  • omitted

    Shits in the pants?

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    Are you calling Mark fat?

  • catnep

    Charles S. Dutton?

  • catnep

    I kept thinking I saw Woody Harrelson in the clips but it’s some other dude.

  • Jason

    who’s Mark?

  • Jason

    part time.

  • Cameron Vale

    Realistically they’ll call it “The Breakfast Club,” but I like your starry-eyed optimism.

  • Don Bright

    after reading about so many child stars with troubles i felt odd about these films/shows. after Sarah Polley’s writing about her experience in Baron Munchausen i became very wary. after Corey Feldman attributed River Phoenix’s death to abuse at the hands of a hollywood mogul, who remains unpunished, and his talking about his own abuse and Haim’s abuse, i have come to a point where i really do not like to see a film with kids in it. Not because kids arent good actors, but because hollywood is such a tendency towards exploitation to begin with, it makes me feel worried watching any film with kids, how they were treated, what were their parents motivations, etc.

  • Cameron Vale

    Who gives a crap how dark it is?

  • TapewormBike

    The other guy, you know, the one that´s not Ray.

  • Now I Get It

    760-odd comments later I discover that I chose the wrong user name. Time for a new account.

    EDIT: Apparently someone has already scooped Now You Tell Me.

    There’s nothing for it.
    See you ’round, boners.
    NIGI out!

  • sepiajack

    Oh nigi please!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe


    It’s because Rotten Tomatoes doesn’t represent consensus as much as it is just another forum for bloggers. People with no background in anything but their own opinion. Who write sh!t.

    Rotten Tomatoes has always been meaningless.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Yes. It is the “smart” stuff. The “art” in the artistry. You might not have noticed, we live in game-changed times. Art is bad. Smart is for hipsters.

    It’s action blockbuster, skippy, or you’re a faggot.

    The people who complain about Wes Anderson’s style love Christopher Nolan’s. And, they write blogs and watch to see if their blurb gets picked to be on Rotten Tomatoes.

    Makes that much sense.

  • Cameron Vale

    Just like Wes Anderson, they connect all the locations in improbable ways like a child’s drawing.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe


    That IS subtle.

  • MikeFromCanmore

    maybe it was your brother. Mason

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You need to spend some time with a dictionary.

    You seem to think “mindless” isn’t an appropriate word to describe mindlessness, but it is.

    What does two and a half hours have to do with anything?

  • MikeFromCanmore

    and here all this time i been whoring myself out to write the reviews for newspapers

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    So, you’re admitting it. Your mind’s made up. There’s nothing that is going to persuade you otherwise.

    Now, you understand mindlessness. You’re practically ONE with it.


    A movie which needn’t be made but is made anyway, because, well, art is for faggots.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe


  • kuhpunkt

    What I said… according to the reviews, it actually has a lot of story with several mafia clans fighting for power spanning several years (what I said before). Some people even compared it to The Departed/Infernal Affairs. You don’t pack that much stuff in 80 minutes. Sure, Transformers 4: I shit in my pants again is also 2+ hours.

    Berandal won’t be mindless at all. Most definitly not great or anything on that level, but still complex and far from being dumb shit.

  • kuhpunkt

    People do? Godzilla just works in 2 ways – either dark and serious or camp. Not somewhere in between. And Edwards upcoming movie treats the monster attack as a serious threat with a meaning behind it. And that is the best way to approach it. There’s always Pacific Rim for the popcorn entertainment.

  • http://about.me/hexeno Hexeno

    Rich Evans has reached a whole new level of acting, he’s beyond any person on RLM and earth.

  • kuhpunkt

    What the fuck are you talking about? What’s wrong with Godzilla? That’s fucking part of movie history about a very serious topic.

  • Percy Gryce

    Welcome back, you lovable a*hole.

  • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg


  • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

    “And I get horribly aroused when I see kids in movies performing an almost-sex scene.”

    There. Fixed it for you.

  • TapewormBike

    Easy now fuzzy little man-peach

  • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

    On the contrary. I find that all his movies have this bittersweet feeling of…. nausea about them. And a hint of foamy, frothy diarrhea. The forced quirk… the unfathomably contrived, calculated, artificial, aloof nature of his work is simply excruciating to plod through. Cinematic excrement/waste is an apt description of Mr. Anderson’s films.

  • Percy Gryce

    Why no homo love for Mike?

  • TapewormBike

    I was just working on some pants related pun.

  • TapewormBike

    I have an erection. There, phew,

  • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

    That was the hardest I’ve laughed at a Half in the Bag in months.

    I raise my shoe filled with room temperature, creamy-beige Bailey’s to you, good sir.

  • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

    Gondry’s Eternal Sunshine runs fucking laps, a marathon in fact, around anything wes Anderson has sharted out of his self-aware, quirk-infested scat-shoot.

  • Percy Gryce

    Thanks for reminding me, a*hole. I had urological surgery last Monday. The doc had to blast a 21 mm stone still up in the kidney. Here’s the 6-7 mm stone that I actually passed:

  • Percy Gryce

    I wish.

  • TapewormBike

    Indeed sir, that seems to be the way of things in regards to your viewership. A way we sadly do not seem to share. Alas the lonely connecting thread between us seems to be the fondness for body fluid related comments. Good day to you sir, may it be filled with shit, puke and jizz aplenty.

  • Mark Bisone

    A compelling point!

    I think what we need here is some sort of steel cage match between these guys, or maybe a peacoat-ed arm wrestling contest.

  • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

    Fucking hilarious.

    Wes Adnerson films feature the most deplorable visual aesthetic/cinematography in all of film.

  • The Narrator

    When are you going to see your second film?

  • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

    After watching this great little video… I had a revelation. I believe that Wes Anderson may in fact be autistic. Or suffer from Asperger’s. Some sort of emotional/social disability. It really makes sense when you think about it. The cold, aloof, calculated, robotic nature of his visuals and narratives… the cold, aloof calculated, robotic nature of his characters. Which are more like caricatures than real, 3 dimensional, relatable people. I think Old Gregg is on to something here…

  • Dixon Bawls

    affectionately known as Fap’n Crunch.

  • The Narrator

    I’m not quite sure that he is onto anything.

  • Guest


  • Percy Gryce

    Or the death of the Indian boy in Darjeeling Limited.

  • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

    Aww you’re adorable.

  • TapewormBike

    I laughed so hard it made it difficult to puke.

  • Mark Bisone

    Truth be told, I found that scene more “sexy” than “horrifying.” To each his own.

  • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

    I developed a particularly painful ulcer after merely watching the trailer to the Life Aquatic starring Steve Zissou.

    True story.

  • RPK

    I guess I’m just not smart enough to appreciate Wes Anderson movies.

  • Percy Gryce

    Okay, I see a light saber, Obama dressed up as Mrs. Claus, the Michelin three-star establishment to which I took Mrs. Gryce on our first date, a Klingon sword, a live-action manga panel, and the image burned into Michael Bay’s retinas. What do I win?

  • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

    She’s old and saggy now, i’m afraid to say. Her tits went south faster than Wes Anderson’s mental stability.

  • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

    I laughed so hard and sudden that a fart came out.

  • http://www.avclub.com/users/ebuzz-miller,65313/ E.Buzz Miller

    Isn’t there a difference between mindless and well made action?
    I’m sure not planning on seeing Godzilla for it’s characters and plot, but it could still be a well made Kaiju film.
    Plus the cast is really intriguing.

  • TapewormBike

    I understand when people do not like his style. That´s what actually having a style brings with itself. But in regards to being too “smart”, I guess it´s just the constant feeling that you are being part of someone else´s inside joke without completely understading it. I like it that way though and I certainly am no Albert Brooks. I like those movies on a gut level.

  • Mark Bisone
  • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

    That’s because Wes Anderson was most likely a victim of trauma during childhood. Was probably molested. Most likely by a family member or close friend of the family. His autism is unrelated. He already had that upon birth. That probably made the molestation thing easier as he was a bit….”off”, you know? That’s why Wes likes to injure/kill animals in his films and portray awkward child-near sex. He was stunted emotionally and was never able to grow up.

    Sad story actually.

  • Percy Gryce

    As long as that guy removes my kidney stones while he’s down there, I’ll take it.

  • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

    I didn’t know 12 year olds frequented this site.

  • http://www.avclub.com/users/ebuzz-miller,65313/ E.Buzz Miller

    It’s two guys sitting around and not ogling women or talking sports, therefore the gayest thing ever a poll of 16 year old boys from the midwest says.

  • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg





  • Mark Bisone

    Holy shit! Your k-stone is the spitting image of Mike Stoklasa’s profile stamped on a silver disk!

    Potential money mine there, my friend.

  • http://www.avclub.com/users/ebuzz-miller,65313/ E.Buzz Miller

    From my point of view the Bauman are evil.

  • Percy Gryce

    See, if you’d been coming around here a little more frequently, I would have laughed a lot more and I probably could have avoided this whole mess.

  • Thanatos2k

    Not only did they steal the storyline from the Simpsons, they stole the finger thing from Heavy Rain where the guy is ordered to cut his own finger off and he has to cauterize it and yadda yadda.

  • http://www.avclub.com/users/ebuzz-miller,65313/ E.Buzz Miller

    OH MYYYYYY GAWD!!!! It’s like a green CGI Rich Evans!

  • TapewormBike

    The second yadda was a bit too much, don´t bring the mood down.

  • http://www.avclub.com/users/ebuzz-miller,65313/ E.Buzz Miller

    The film ends with the Turtles making out with Krang in a Dimension X hot tub.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Do you put the stones in a special little box so you can look back at all the good times you had?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Video game joke!

  • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

    If given the opportunity…… you should kill yourself.

  • http://www.avclub.com/users/ebuzz-miller,65313/ E.Buzz Miller

    It’d either be awesome or as big a mess as Lynch’s. Either way me too.

  • EmceeLucas

    I scrolled down just to see if someone else had already pointed that out. *claps*

  • Percy Gryce

    Goram, have I become that obvious?

    I do actually have such a box. I justify it as a continuation of the early modern tradition of gentlemen keeping a Wunderkammer of art, antiquities, and natural historical oddities, including taxidermy and various gall, kidney, and bladder stones.

  • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

    I’m going to hurt you

  • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

    Vaginal discharge.

    You forgot vaginal discharge.

  • http://www.avclub.com/users/ebuzz-miller,65313/ E.Buzz Miller

    What I always hear is ‘oh I liked Bottle Rocket, Rushmore and Tenenbaums, but then he became a parody of himself’, which I don’t agree with. He’s definitely become more stylized from Life Aquatic on, but I don’t see him as making the same film over and over with a signature style like Tim Burton has yet.

  • RyanMullaney

    Wes Anderson is the personification of style over substance, and that style is quite annoying. I need to see his films as much as I need another hole in my ass.

  • kuhpunkt

    Of course there is a difference. Transformers is mindless and even though the effects are good, the action is crap, because you can never really see what’s going on and who is fighting whom. Pacific Rim on the other hand was easy to follow.

    And Godzilla will be very much about the characters. I mean, if you don’t really have someone to root for, it can easily become shallow and forgettable. The first Godzilla from 1954 was very much about the plot and the responsibility of man. Because mankind created Godzilla and the movie is also about how to kill Godzilla. The new one by Edwards picks up on that… with a twist.

  • Gnat

    I can’t help but notice Mike’s Hitler ‘stache whenever he turns his head to the side.

  • http://www.avclub.com/users/ebuzz-miller,65313/ E.Buzz Miller

    Boy I sure hope someone got fired for that blunder!

  • Jason

    Shoji Tabuchi also has an erection…he’s running for Mayor of Branson, Missouri!

  • Paul Schumann

    In my world, “smart” is Whit Stillman… ;)

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Why else would you have it next to your coin collection? Good excuse, I give you that. I used to have my teeth in a box. No idea where that is now, though.

  • http://www.avclub.com/users/ebuzz-miller,65313/ E.Buzz Miller

    Wait…have you seen it?

  • Paul Schumann

    Aha. Burton’s probably a good comparison.
    Yes I agree. All of the Anderson films I’ve seen are clearly distinct. While I didn’t love most of them, I did enjoy the creativity in set design and the like.

  • kuhpunkt

    Sadly no, but from a preview of the first act, the trailers and some interviews, the premise of the story is kinda easy to see – which makes the movie imho extremely interesting and I have no fucking clue where the story is heading. And I love that. If you want, I can explain a bit more.

  • Thanatos2k

    I like to think Mike and Jay put that banner up in the laywer’s waiting room before they came in, as advertising for some hack fraud website.

  • Brian Rush

    The magic disappearing reappearing “red letter media” poster.

  • Thanatos2k

    Also, I don’t blame Mike for turning off the Royal Tenenbaums. Sadly, I was forced to sit through the whole thing. I wish I could have chosen to cut my finger off instead.

  • http://www.erinmorelli.com Erin Morelli

    I’d be genuinely curious to see what Mike and Jay think about Aronofsky’s NOAH…

  • Alex Lee

    I’m surprised Mike didn’t do his Plinkett impersonation.

  • http://www.avclub.com/users/ebuzz-miller,65313/ E.Buzz Miller

    Want to come to a club where people wee on each other?

  • Mark Bisone
  • Jean-François Martel

    They are finally taking full advantage of the potential of the cassette cameras technology.

  • Billy Nunez
  • LelouchtheFilial

    I conducted that poll from inside the bushes.

  • Fartastic

    Hey lawyer! What’s wrong with your workspace?

  • Dixon Bawls

  • WrongWithYourFace

    What’s wrong with your SPAAAAACE?

  • Jeremy Davis

    ohhhhhh myyy god!

  • Justin Lee

    “But we can diminish the effects of it….”

  • Archie Bunker

    Redletter Media sign in background… and then no Redletter Media sign in background. Aooogah, Aooogah, continuity error! continuity error! I did good!

  • Tyler Scruggs

    Looks like SOMEONE hasn’t seen…..uhh…. literally any of his films.

  • Robby

    Is that Mike’s brother? He sounds and looks very similar.

  • Jean-François Martel

    now at this point it’s too much production value for the studios… Will someone think of the poor studios???

  • Tyler Scruggs

    Captain America has almost as much carnage as Man of Steel? What?

    Also Rotten Tomatoes gets their scores from professional film critics. Who, you know, get paid for their efforts.

  • Jean-François Martel

    Oh you beat me to it… asshole… Is it low res enough to use on tumblr?

  • Jean-François Martel

    i wanted to make a “brown note” joke but i realized it would be wrong.

  • Jean-François Martel

    c’mon there, Captain America looks good… I mean it’s definitely a studio movie but it looks like there is some creative forces behind this

  • Duckler

    Gratuitous Rich Evans pratfall..! You’ve got to appreciate the classics.

  • Percy Gryce

    And claymation bugs?

  • Taft you FUCK

    They’ll probably love it because they’re Bible-humping republicans! I’ve seen behind the curtain.

  • Thanatos2k

    *ghost of Lucas appears*

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    “Steven Zwarg is one of my favorit autors.” — Coach Z.

  • http://flesheatingbug.deviantart.com/ Som

    just saw the captain, thought it was great!

  • Percy Gryce

    The lawyer actually handled the conflict completely appropriately. Rule 1.7(b)(1) of the Wisconsin Rules of Professional Conduct for Lawyers says: “Notwithstanding the existence of a concurrent conflict of interest under par. (a), a lawyer may represent a new client if the lawyer removes the new client’s banner from the lawyer’s place of business or, at least, moves it out of frame.”

    So check your facts!

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    “Hated it …”

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    They probably just want more money so they can do things with the goats themselves. Terrible things.

  • Jean-François Martel

    It’s out already?

  • Jean-François Martel

    You beat me to it… asshole. I wonder if it’s low rez enough for me to use on tumblr… But at the same time i also want to make my own too.

  • Mark Bisone

    You might be on to something there.

  • omitted

    Yeah, the Captain is out to the rest of the world. It’s those damn Americans keeping him in the closet!

  • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

    Shut your commie mouth

  • Jean-François Martel

    Oh wow! I’m really happy they decided to make a new SHREK movie!

  • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

    yes sir, thank you sir

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Rape jokes, he loves them!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    The only person allowed to laugh in his skit is Eddie Murphy, because his routine was that damn good. Fallon’s just a hack.

  • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

    I just read this again and laughed even harder than the first time.

    You goddamn brilliant sonofabitch.

  • Taft you FUCK

    I’d be remiss if I said I wasn’t looking forward to the big budget, retarded action movies. They’re the only reason I go to the movies nowadays. They’re too loud to hear the simple-minded imbeciles in the theater with no movie-watching decorum, and they’re bright, dumb, and flashy shallow money-makers.

    But I also like small, indie, artsy movies as well. It’s okay to enjoy both.

  • http://flesheatingbug.deviantart.com/ Som

    It is in ireland :-)

  • HNSZ

    Then again, that was what was on everyone’s mind. Would have been boring. Or glorious.

  • Jean-François Martel

    even the Asylum and David Decotteau are doing that.

  • Paul Schumann

    Whatchu doing in my waters?

  • Paul Schumann

    I’ve heard it’s at times poignant and other times has nonsensical plot points. *shrugs*

  • CB

    I saw the trailer in a theatre, and it first it looked interesting, but by the end of the trailer I was bored with the premise and hoped there was more to it. Hearing that there isn’t really kinda kills any interest I had.

  • Paul Schumann

    Definitely. It will be all the more terrifying when they actually down a marine. That would be his trademark “dark” moment that sneaks up on you.

  • Paul Schumann

    Now there’s goat simulator for that… http://kotaku.com/goat-simulator-is-finally-here-and-its-wonderful-1554003611
    (film related: it has an achievement titled “MICHAEL BAY”)

  • Mark Bisone

    You almost took home the gold, but I had to take points off for mistaking the laser beam firing into space for a lightsaber, and for mispelling “thord”.

  • Mr. Basically

    But, Mr. Plinkett, he should not be heavy, he’s your brother.

  • Now This Is Podracing

    I can’t believe you didn’t take this one.

  • MikeFromCanmore

    Dang ! never thought to make the comment i’ll be kicking myself for that as i enjoyed that game

  • http://hardycases.com/ Hale

    I think the new one might be a little more up your alley. There’s alot more variety in terms of location and action, and the build-up to each fight is fairly slow and tense. In general, it’s also just shot gorgeously, and I’m not strictly talking about the fights.

    Compared to the last one and most action movies, the characters also look genuinely fatigued after an action scene, though thats partially because the violence is alot more intense.

    Like, not in a way that would make someone yell, “OH YEAH, SHE BASHED THAT GUY’S HEAD IN WITH A HAMMER!” More like, “Oh, yeah, she bashed that guy’s head in with a hammer…”

    (Unless you’re into that sorta thing)

  • HNSZ

    That’s something everybody’s been waiting for.
    (nods skeptically)

  • whip

    Well, unless for some reason his brother has an entirely different last name, I would say.. no. It said his name in the credits.

  • Paul Schumann

    Sounds good. When I hear people hyping The Raid, I can’t help but compare it to the Tropa De Elite films, which I prefer. The action in those films is intense and enjoyable, but a tad more realistic and in briefer intervals.
    I’ll definitely check out this new one.

  • whip

    Such stimulating, riveting debate. Your comments are deep and though provoking, and really add substance to the discussion.

  • Fangs

    Yo, Jay! Uncross your arms, man. You’re on camera. Try and get some sleep, dude. You look really tired and distant. I still want to fuck you regardless. Love you :)

  • KonradZell

    When it comes to motion pictures, and seeing as how he never made a major feature before, pretty much yeah, actually. And boy did it show. The film was mostly shot in the countryside of places like Costa Rica and Belize. If you can’t get landscape shots (which is what I assume you’re referring to regarding the “amazing cinematography”) out of those place, you truly suck as a director.

    If you consider wooden acting, zero chemistry between the two leads (impressive consider the actors were apparently a couple in real life), a weak script (my favorite line is “That’s the biggest man-made object I’ve ever seen!”), and ham-fisted attempts at social commentary (yeah, yeah, space aliens, illegal aliens, the monsters are the people, not the aliens, etc. all VERY original and clever, got it…). If you enjoyed that mediocrity then yes I’m sure you’re very excited for Godzilla 2014.

  • Paul Little

    Ah, The Grand Budapest Hotel. Or, as I like to call it, “The Movie That Isn’t Playing Anywhere in a Three-Hour Radius Because Hollywood Just Loves its $200+ Million Blockbusters.” Can’t wait to pirate this one as soon as I can. The distro and theatre chain owners had their chance to get my money, but they blew it. Again. I haven’t seen a movie since The Master, and I was amazed that it played locally.

  • Alexander Simmons

    we are all yadda yaddas though.

  • Samuel Pérez García

    LMAO the ending xD

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I love Jay’s facial expression in this pic.

  • kuhpunkt

    So every director is an amateur, even if his/her first film is a masterpiece? That’s rubbish.

    And no, I mean the general look of the film. Even the destroyed village etc. is just beautifully shot.

    Wooden acting? I thought their performance was pretty good and represented their “complicated” relationship just fine. Weak script? The movie had no script. Social commentary? A bit, sure. But ham-fisted? What’s District 9 in comparison? It’s not “VERY original” and it doesn’t need to be. Is Before Sunrise/Sunset/Midnight so original? Nope. It’s just 2 people talking and walking around. And it’s perfect at what it does.

    Monsters is a simple film. So? It’s not pretentious or whatever. It’s just a story about 2 people on a trip in a very well established and lived in world. There’s nothing mediocre about that. With these limited resources it’s simply impressive.

  • Dr. Blake Downs

    I love Barry S. Plinkett’s facial expression in this pic. Looks like he is having a jolly time.

  • its called bleach

    was kind of hoping to get your guys opinion on transcendence. its hard to get a read on it.

  • Torgos_Giant_Knees

    The time on the clock also jumps forward and then backward, too. This would be excusable if a horribly fake wig were to suddenly appear on Jay’s or Mike’s head and then disappear in the next cut.

  • Torgos_Giant_Knees

    I just assumed they were supposed to be genital warts.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Well when Mike’s holding your skull in such a non-threatening manner, how can you not have a great time?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Is there a Wes Anderson movie that you’d recommend? I’ve never seen any, and don’t want to walk away with a bad impression.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Maybe Gondry and Anderson can each be given a budget of $200 Million, make competing action-dramas off the cartoon “Animaniacs,” and see if either director gives Pinky and the Brain lips. Then we’ll know who the better director is.

  • Alex Lee


  • Alex Lee

    But then you gotta wonder about Hollywood payoffs sometimes. Critics gotta eat too.

    The problem I have with most professional critics is that they don’t go into spoilers too much and don’t really explain why a movie does or doesn’t work. They also tend to fail to recommend the film for people who don’t share the same interests. In short, they don’t put enough time and effort into examining a movie.

    The typical Rotten Tomamtoes review is never educational, but I learn something new with RedLetterMedia review.

  • Anthony D.

    I absolutely loved The Grand Budapest Hotel. Such a smart, incredibly-written screenplay. I’m a huge Anderson fan, though, so I may be biased. Going to be tough to beat this year, going forward.

  • Robert Overstreet

    DO IT!

  • shanebroughton

    Why did you say it so weird?

  • LelouchtheFilial

    I still do that, if only for the sake of maintaining the illusion.

  • ident

    I told you not to move to Narnia. Mr. Tumnus is full of empty promises.

  • shanebroughton

    I think that lawyer is an alcoholic.

  • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg

    I’m old greeeeeeeegg

  • ident

    I thought Rotten Tomatoes used working critics.

  • http://fuzzylittlemanpeach.org/gov Old_Gregg


  • Tyler Scruggs

    First off, thanks for your intelligent response.

    The difference between Rotten Tomatoes reviews and Red Letter Media reviews is audience. The people who write reviews for the New York Times or Washington Post that end up on Rotten Tomatoes absolutely CANNOT give big spoilers or examine the movie deeply, because that’s not their job. Their job is to persuade (or dissuade) the general public (NOT you or I, we’re not general audience members) from SEEING the film.

    With that said, that doesn’t mean that their consensus (FRESH/ROTTEN) isn’t valid or an intelligent opinion, and you can give a thoughtful review without spoiling it.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    The first picture had me confused, but after looking at the second I now see what you meme.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Those are baby fingers. “Please birth me, mother… I’ve been in here for 3 years! Somebody please help!…”

    Well, on second thought, at 3 years of age I’m kinda pushing it by calling those ‘baby fingers’.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Please Captain America, shield me from this nonmedy.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You’re both wrong, but I’ll explain further once I actually read your comments and watch this video and learn English.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I see that this comment has produced a bunch comments from people arguing back and fourth. Well done. :)

  • Kishi Jugo

    I agree with you. Ever see Ariana Richards who played Lex in Jurassic
    Park? There is something obviously wrong with her now. Same goes with the guy who played Elliot in E.T. They just have these shell shocked looks in their eyes.

    Hollywood destroys adults left, right, and center, so there ain’t much hope of a child getting out alive.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Almost as much as he loves sexist jokes and incestuous blow job jokes, the latter being a subset of rape jokes as it was statutory rape. Here’s proof:

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “All your questions will be answered.”


  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Post hoc ergo propter hoc, i.e. RLM and RLM fans thank you.

  • Kishi Jugo

    I was trying to put into words what I don’t like about him and you have definitely succeeded where I have failed.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    The one that crashed into a field on 7/11?…

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’m 16 hours late?! Fuck!! I knew I shouldn’t have bothered going to the hospital for my face itch. Now I’ll have to catch this episode once it’s released on VHS… whenever my VCR gets repaired, that is. ‘Lightning Fast’ my ass [don’t take that literally].

  • Michael Aronson

    Did you just have an aneurysm?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    What what what what what?
    What what what what what?
    What what what what what?
    What what what what what?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Republicans hang red circles in their offices?

    By god, I’ve gotta warn the pope!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    How’s the Pony Brigade going?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You could even say he’s from space… the future of space…

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I don’t see a raging boner in that GIF, though…

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    What does the Nolan Batman series have to do with this?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Confirmed for Ray.

  • Kishi Jugo

    Yeah, it’s phony nonsense. Someone in the comments here said he should try his hand at horror movies but his movies are horror movies because underneath the superficially picturesque visuals there is nothing at all happening of substance. It’s complete vapid emptiness. He’s like the indie version of Michael Bay but he tricks intelligent people into believing he’s made some sort of art. His films become a window into the mind of a mad man.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That’s the Mikiest Mike I’ve ever Miked.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    That’s a nasty gash you have there….

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    No no. The one in Con Air that landed on the Las Vegas strip.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I was watching said “almost-sex scene” on a computer at school with people around me. I agree, it was pretty awkward… especially when I came on the keyboard. People can be such prudes!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Okay there, Hulk.

    Er, I mean ex-Hulk.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    But you gotta watch Die Hard 6 and 7 so you know what’s going on in Die Hard 8!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    You don’t have a phone in your office, either?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    And then somebody [wet] farts.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    It’s gonna be gerat grate gert greet gort Bort Ward fork in the br what’s wrong with y great!

  • Alex Lee

    The problem is that reviews without evidence devolves into a case of “that’s your opinion.” It’s much harder to disregard an opinion based on some evidence.

    That, and I don’t really care for all the sifting I have to go through in order to find a review that actually tells me something about the substance of the movie. The whole, “I like/dislike it because it looks like this other thing but executed well/poorly” really tells the reader nothing that can actually persuade them out of their preconceived bias.

    Now, from what I’ve seen, the general audience don’t really read reviews. They tend to judge based on box office revenue and who’s in the film. Reviews don’t really seem have much of an influence on the general audience.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    What about the death of Eli in There’s Gonna Be Blood?

    Oh, wait…

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Edward Norton as Spock?
    Owen Wilson as Kirk?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    It’s gonna be grrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat!

  • Pissernacht

    I expected none of what I just saw…

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    Oh, internet. Try again.

  • Cole

    I nominate this guy for the next RLM stream-a-thon: http://youtu.be/VlUbr2b5wgY

  • Popo Bawa

    So, when you take a dump, you usually characterize the experience as “forced quirk… the unfathomably contrived, calculated, artificial, aloof nature”?

  • Will Wright

    Do you have any local film festivals? In Australia I managed to find one showing it.

  • Dr. Blake Downs

    Is that rich evans watching himself?

  • Akeuw

    I can hardly wait.

  • ident

    I didn’t go to film school. Is centering a shot unusual? Could you make a supercut of Martin Scorses’ or P.T. Anderson’s centered shots, too?

  • Popo Bawa

    Turn the key, and the door is ajar jar…

  • radicalfce

    Give Tenenbaums another chance, Mike. I think it’s one of his better films. I also felt Ben Stiller was a weird casting choice, but the pieces come together by the end.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    An effect that will never diminish: another subtle Lucas fade in.

    You might not have noticed it, but your brain did.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    There’s a strip scene in Last Vegas? Gross.

  • CJ Lack

    I think Ralph Fiennes in GBH is kinda like Wes Anderson himself. He’s this goofy, idiosyncratic guy who loves whimsy, fashion and attention to detail, and all of these people hate him because he’s a weirdo. Adrien Brody and his rich asshole family are like Captain America 4 and Transformers 12 in that they’re just relentlessly punching him into the face until he’s dead. Eventually, actual filmmakers will die out, but like Gustave, Wes is gonna last as long as he can.

  • Ludwig Scroggins IV

    What’s with that giant cum stain on the wall next to Jay? Also, what’s with that giant cum stain in the chair next to Jay?

  • hendrixisgod51784

    I’ve never understood the appeal for Wes Anderson films. They just don’t do anything for me.

  • TapewormBike

    Nobody, really? (Inhale)……What´s wrong with your faaaace!?

  • TapewormBike

    Well, to jump right in and wallow in weirdness (and awesomeness that is Bill Murray), I would suggest Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. Just be prepared to see it multiple times maybe:). More streamlined is Rushmore, which is nonetheless also great.

  • Ludwig Scroggins IV

    He could say that, but it’d be a cop out…

  • Ludwig Scroggins IV

    I don’t give flying fuck about 99% of the movies they review. I just come here for the camaraderie and the bagels. And the masturbation.

  • http://www.tankadin.com/ tankadin

    What was up with Jay’s body language? Most of the time, he sat there with his arms crossed.

  • Ludwig Scroggins IV

    Jesus, that’s a bit of a tall order.

  • Jordan

    Having your arms crossed during a conversation is positive body language.

  • Admiral Bone-to-Pick

    He should talk slower.

  • LukeMM95

    It’s the face he makes when people ask: “When’s the next Plinkett review.”

  • http://rareenglishrose.com/ Rare English Rose

    Cool video.

  • Jeremy Davis

    For the majority of the video, I thought Rich Evans had lost all his weight so he could portray a more realistic Dead Plinkett. To my shock and awe, it was a skeleton the whole time!

  • Beefaroni Bill


  • TapewormBike

    Yeah that is weird. I don´t remember being on that set.

  • AbdulAlhazred

    You fool! Rich Evans clearly played both parts. They just used some advanced CGI effects to create the effect of Rich throwing himself to himself and then back. He is truly the greatest actor of our age.

  • AbdulAlhazred

    Your MOM has a nasty gash.

  • Archie Bunker

    Truly the only time continuity errors are acceptable.. when horrible hair pieces are involved.

  • Meester Smeeth

    You never know. It might be really good. Ha!

  • TapewormBike

    I think of myself as more of a Tyler Durden. Too soon?

  • Joe Syxpac

    Wes does things for me all the time.

    Just last week he made me breakfast in bed.

  • Chris Pendlebury

    I had to say…. that ending was the funniest thing I’ve seen in months.

  • o magi

    Mr. Plinkett now sounds almost exactly like Rich Evans sounds in interviews.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    How can you not like Morgan Freeman’s performance art?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I don’t know. I always thought of Wonder Woman as someone who was built and had the same attitude as someone like Lucy Lawless. I just don’t have high hopes for the movie.

  • ident

    No, no, no…Richevans pulled a Tom Hanks. They got all the fat shots first and then waited 3 years for him to get Kate Moss skinny to get the rest of the shots.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Thanks so much for checking up on her down there. Saves me an OB-GYN bill.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Sweet. Thanks. Had planned on seeing Moonrise and Grand Budapest, but maybe more bizarre is the way to go.

  • WrongWithYourFace


  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Awww Jean. We can totally handle your Brown Note joke. Please, bring the joke forth!

  • TapewormBike

    Moonrise is great, sort of more serious actually. Grand Budapest I have not seen, but seems great.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You have failed your daily duty of praying to the Holy Groin in the direction of Enlightening Fast VCR.

  • ident

    But Wes Anderson loves you even when he hurts you. Don’t you know that? He just gets so whimsical sometimes he can’t help it. Really, it’s your fault. You make him do it by watching his films. You can’t leave Wes Anderson. Wes Anderson will cut you like he cut Owen Wilson! —Wait, don’t go. Wes Anderson didn’t mean that. Damn.

  • ident

    Giant monsters attacking Japanese cities are a very serious topic. Godzilla destroys Japan in 1954 and exactly 60 years later a “giant monster” called the NSA is reading our e-mails. Coincidence? Wake up, sheeple!

  • JohnBigbooty

    I loved Mike’s idea of movies with numbers playing on white screens with constant loud distortion played over the speakers. Brilliant.

  • ident

    Stop eating stones, you nut.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    We need some more levity for those who are deaf. By the power of Grayscale!

  • TapewormBike

    So that´s why my lawn wasn´t mowed!

  • Now I Get It
  • Meester Smeeth

    Nor do I. I don’t know what you reckon to Affleck being cast as Wayne but, personally, I was looking forward to seeing his interpretation. Then they cast Lady Smug Tart as Wonder Woman and Snotty Snot McSnot as Lex Luthor and I honestly don’t give a shit anymore.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    If, by “working critics” you mean anybody who writes sh!t on the internet, then you are correct.

  • kuhpunkt

    You know what a metapher is, right?

  • Jason

    It’s good that you’ve found someone you can connect with. That’s what the internet’s all about.

  • Jason

    What, is this you first time on the interwebs or something? Well here’s a tip for you (what is often referred to by the internet savvy as a “protip”): CAPS LOCK = INSTANT FUNNY. Also, I appreciate that he let that post go on for 25 lines.

  • catnep

    Canadian skin in winter.

  • Michael Aronson

    Do you need a tissue?

  • Hamwich Grabowski

    It really seems that Jay and Mike are on amphetamines in this episode. Watch again and pay attention.

  • Jason

    You mean he cut Luke AND Owen Wilson? That does it, this maniac must be stopped, and there’s only one person who can handle a job like this…someone get Nadine on the phone, now!

  • Jason

    to wipe off all the tears from laughing ’til I cried? why, yes, how generous, thank you. and people say chivalry is dead.

  • catnep

    They say we all have a voice twin. In a bizarre twist of fate, mine happens to be my mother.

  • Michael Aronson

    A hobby or a psychiatrist: please get one.

  • Mark Bisone

    Such fascinating creatures. So they molt like snakes and cicada bugs? When they finish sloughing off the old layer, do they look like Frenchmen?

  • catnep

    Psst. Yodurtle. He’s too old to begin the training!

  • Dixon Bawls

    Holy cow. That looks like special effects.
    I mean, it’s so dense; there’s so much going on. Maybe you can diminish the effects of it. I’d say a cosmetologist is the key to all this. If you can get that going…

  • Jason

    Considering Gondry hasn’t made a good film since, or before, Eternal Sunshine, I think a more appropriate competition would be him and Vanilla Ice in a celebrity boxing match. The tag-line on the promotional poster will be: “They were both one-hit wonders, but which one-hit hits harder?”

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I just looked to see who they’re casting for Luthor. That’s a bit shocking. I understand the backlash for Affleck, but I know why the studios are ok with him on board. He just got an Oscar for Argo. To the studios he’s a big deal, and probably has a bunch of clout, but that doesn’t translate to studio audience approval.

    I don’t care what he’s done to redeem himself from Gigli/Daredevil. He’s no different to me than Hayden Christensen.

  • Jason

    1780 comments…and that was the best one…

  • Michael Aronson

    You don’t really need to type out all the broken monologues in your head.

  • Mark Bisone

    Hey, it could be a pie-eating contest, for all I care. As long as we can get Mean Gene Okerlund there to break any ties.


  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Well, Vanilla Ice stole his one-hit wonder from Freddie Mercury, causing Mercury’s death and bringing Paul Rodgers to lead vocals for Queen.

    Vanilla Ice hits harder.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Is that…. Andy Warhol? With Mr. T in the background?

  • Mark Bisone

    Imagine being in that room, Domo dear. Imagine the smell of it all.

  • ident

    No, I meant critics who are paid to review movies. I looked again and the majority of critics still seem to be associated with newspapers, magazines or websites I’ve heard of. Perhaps I don’t understand how the percentage is calculated.

  • Jason

    Mr. 1781 comments tells me I need a hobby and don’t have to type out all my thoughts. I’ll take it to heart.

  • ident

    Sounds unamerican to me…or something an NSA spy would ask.

  • Michael Aronson

    Arnim Zola is alive in a computer.

    Hydra took over SHIELD.

    Pierce kills Fury, who’s alive at the end.

    SHIELD is dismantled, Bucky is freed.

    Enjoy Cap 2.

  • TJ

    Third viewing and I just realized that Jay used the word “Jovial.”


  • Jason

    oh nooooooooo. why??? now I really do need a tissue :'(

  • catnep

    My service to humanity is complete.

  • catnep

    They look like just like cat treats!

  • Peter Rivest

    “Hypno-Toad… THE MOVIE!!!”

  • operationproblem

    Loved the RLM poster in the background disappearing between cuts. I hope it was intentional.

  • catnep

    Fascinating, yes. Indeed. This one (the famous Blue Toque) is entering the early Roquefort phase. Very pungent when he’s reached full slough!

  • Meester Smeeth

    Other than Star Wars, the only thing I’ve seen Hayden Christensen in is Jumper, which I rather enjoyed. I quite liked him in that. Everyone’s fucking awful in the Star Wars prequels, though, through no fault of their own, really.
    And I can completely understand people taking Affleck as Batman as shit news, but I don’t mind him at all. At least his casting and involvement in general kind of makes sense, whereas everyone else announced since has seemingly been picked out of a hat.
    Fuck it, as long as it’s fucking miserable (because miserable = deep and meaningful and mature) I’ll be happy as a pig in sugar.
    Warner Brothers and D.C. need to give the kids their toys back, or at least let them have a go. It’s their turn, god nibblets!

  • Striker, Ted

    Ya know, the guy who played Terrence Boddicker in Robocop.

  • Andrew St. Clair

    The beauty of having a style where it seems like a director just does the same thing every time, and uses the same actors every time, is that for one director you disregard that he does it and call him a genius for it, but for another, you use it as an example of him not being a good director.

    That’s the beauty of being a fan. Whenever you’re not a fan of something, whenever it does something wrong, you complain about it. But when you are a fan of something, whenever it does those very same things wrong, it’s perfectly fine.

  • Striker, Ted

    Video game humor!

  • John Nelson

    White screen with nothing but Inception bang bwaaas over and over again.

  • AdrianRK

    Maybe you should do a review about Noah

  • Jason

    Oh! you mean Ray Fiennes? Now it makes sense.

  • Jason

    mike’s never gonna let it go, is he? and, god bless’im, he never should.

  • Cynicalwords

    The last five minutes might have been the most fucking hilarious long take I have ever seen.

  • Broodix

    “I don’t understand how people like stuff that I don’t like” – Some retard on the internet

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    yeah – the fatter, gayer one

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I, too, was surprised nobody said that earlier.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    If special effects = meth effects, then you’re correct!

    In reality, I was acting a small part in my friend’s short film where I play a nonsensical hobo. This is before the blood effects are added. Later on I get a bullet wound to the forehead as well. It was quite fun.

    PS – I always knew drooling on command would be useful at some point in my life!

  • AdeoAdversary

    Good review guys, haven’t seen a wes anderson flick in a while so will probably give Budapest Hotel a chance. But you should actually see the 300 sequel, it was a pretty cool, stylized action movie. I was actually surprised by it, was in the same boat as Jay before I saw it. Also the movie 1638.1: Annihilation sounds awesome (jrrrr….white screen sound).

  • Now I Get It

    That’s true – some guys got it and some guys don’t.

    Fallon was after my time, thankfully, but I do remember Harvey Korman cracking up in most any sketch with partner Tim Conway, because neither was a true straight man. The difference was that most of the audience loved their corpsing shtick, whereas I can imagine Fallon wearying his audience out of sheer incompetence. In fact, it’s possible that, by hosting a talk show, Fallon has landed exactly where he belongs.

    Tidbit: Korman appears in the documentary on gore-genre founder Herschell Gordon Lewis, who put Korman in one of his early skin flicks.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    9/11 was like 24 years ago, so I think you’re in the clear.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Did somebody say nibblets?!

  • Isaac Thefallenapple

    You spoke of coincideneces while your Cheap Thrill review. I saw Back To The Future III the other day. Coincidence?

    No to be frank what do you think of the Back To The Future movies? I loved the first one, the second one was also good and the third one was so full of coincidences and stuff like that and I asked my self so many questions and I disliked the TWO tacked on moral lessons.

  • TapewormBike

    Oh good, between this and poor Percy I really thought all the RLM fans are slowly disintegrating.

  • Cameron Vale

    I don’t see why DC wouldn’t try to follow up its surprisingly good track record of direct-to-DVD animated superheroes. I think this is what Marvel Studios is doing, and I used to think this is what Nolan and Goyer were doing until I saw Man of Steel.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    He made Joke books before becoming famous for Goosebumps….

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Canada and US are typically always have the same release dates for wide opening films. This is different for smaller films with a staggered release pattern as they slowly gain theatres over time and typically they start in large US cities and then work their way across the US and Canada. There’s a reason the Canada and US box office is called ‘domestic’ as they’re just clumped together, so I never really know how well a film is performing in Canada by itself because the American movie goers overshadow the results.

    Also, Marvel has been releasing their films overseas first for years now, even the first Captain America. They must see it as a good strategy. It probably makes them more money.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Signs and Symptoms of Amphetamine Abuse include:
    Increased body temperature
    Increased blood pressure
    Dry mouth
    Faster breathing
    Dilated pupils
    Increased energy and alertness
    Decreased fatigue
    Decreased appetite

    I don’t want to watch again to see if they have dilated pupils. Screw that.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I agree with their third acts being lacklustre. The first Iron Man was alright, but I felt it seemed like a rather small confrontation for the film and it felt kind of odd, as if they weren’t actually fighting in a city full of people. The third acts for every other MCU film has been rather forgettable and were let downs, not fulfilling the buildup the rest of the movie setup [The Avengers aside].

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That sounds like a cute nickname for a black kid…

    You racist!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash


    Hashtags are a fucking cancer to society.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Oh, my mind is definitely disintegrating. My body, so far, hasn’t seen the diminishing effects of this yet.

  • Cameron Vale

    Wonder Woman is rarely well cast. Like Superman, you’re not meant to identify with her, and nowadays this is very confusing to people.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Dear RLM,

    What did you think of the Back to the Future movies?


    Isaac Thefallenapple, Some Guy in a Comments Section

  • Dixon Bawls

    Say, I was wondering what you guys thought of Midnight Run. I thought it was a blast, but I’d still like to know your opinion…

  • Cameron Vale

    The nose is what gets me.

  • Cameron Vale

    *if you know what I mean

  • Cameron Vale

    Their body temperature was acceptable, but their mouths were indeed quite dry.

  • Cameron Vale

    It’s considered defensive.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    You should have given them more beer after checking their “stats.”

    Beer fixes everything.

  • Jason


  • http://www.bluegoanna.com.au Stu Nankivell

    “Hated it!”

    “Join us next week as we check out Mel Gibson’s Lethal Weapon!”

    Appreciative of the In Living Color reference Mike! Takes me back to a time when I only knew of Jim Carrey as “The White Guy in In Living Color”

  • atheistconservative

    The only good Wes Anderson film is Bottle Rocket. Everything since then has been a slippery slope of lame hipster stylization with a skeleton of plot driving it.

  • adamfox

    Noah. Review Noah this week. PLEASE!

  • crombie

    I dont think it matters if its a good action movie or not. I think the point they were making is that theyre just burnt out on the genre. They can only review so many comic book movies in a year.

  • Ryan Williams

    It’s weird how that lawyers office seems to be attached to a kitchen

  • WrongWithYourFace

    So how the hell did Harry S. Plinkett just escape from his cellar if there’s a fucking freeway built on top of it? Continuity error! Unsubscribe!

  • Concerned Citizen

    His brother’s cellar.

  • Mickey Biedrzycki

    Please make a shorter video on youtube of the social commentary of contemporary films. I find it fucking hilarious.

  • RPK

    Surely this is Wes Anderson's next film: http://t.co/isJEuhvoZ7 pic.twitter.com/C5FJSWrDod— Andrew Golis (@agolis) March 29, 2014

  • Jacob De Paz

    You hack frauds, using that lameass soap operatic cop out. ;)

  • Joseph Buss

    “Barry S. Plinkett”? Really?

  • Thanatos2k

    Will he explain Old Spice next?

  • Thanatos2k

    Last time only my brain noticed it, but I was waiting for it this time.

  • Thanatos2k

    I think Larry S Plinkett will be the next brother.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Please respond.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Anyone else get short of breath whenever Mike decides to address/acknowledge the camera when he’s not supposed to?

    If my erection gets any more out of control I won’t have enough blood going to my brain to function properly.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Without that red circle I would have never known where to look.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I know you were using it ironically. For some reason I just had to get my disdain for hashtags out there.

  • Percy Gryce

    Don’t forget Garry S. Plinkett.

  • JimTreacher


  • Jason

    oh…so I guess this isn’t the best time to mention that you can keep up to date on all the whacky shenanigans of Mike, Jay and the whole gang at twitter.com/redlettermedia #toosoon?

  • Percy Gryce

    I’m coming down off of two weeks on Percocet. It’s not fun, I can tell you.

    It’s almost as bad as waiting for new content from RLM.

  • Percy Gryce

    Whaddaya mean?

  • Percy Gryce

    Hobo with an Infection?

  • Percy Gryce

    Not so much falling apart as being run over–or through. For example, my urethra feels like the Channel Tunnel.

  • Percy Gryce

  • Percy Gryce

    With Obama outwitting Putin abroad and with the perfect implementation of Obamacare here at home, I can see that Treacher has plenty of time on his hands to watch RLM’s antics.

  • Percy Gryce

    Bill Murray as McCoy!

  • JimTreacher


  • http://hardycases.com/ Hale

    And his other sister, Marry S. Plinkett.

  • Ogrot

    And Harry A. Plinkett

  • Ogrot

    And then there’s Jerry Seinfeld Plinkett

  • LelouchtheFilial

    With all this body language analysis that we’re doing, we could be CNN anchors.
    Though, as Redlettermedia commenters, we’re much more productive members of society.
    I’m not being sarcastic.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    I’m sorry to have to bring an anime character into this.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    C-Christ. ANOTHER Anime character? YOU MADE ME DO THIS!

  • LelouchtheFilial

    I-I can’t STOP!
    O-oh, good. It’s just Batman this time.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    Why am I posting another– Oh, GOD! AIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    Yours can make it on top of a computer desk? Show off!

  • Archie Bunker

    And his black half-brother Booker T. Plinkett

  • https://soundcloud.com/kain-abel-musik Alexander Zeid Shalan Ottosson

    Couldn’t agree more concerning where blockbusters and Hollywood-movies in general has gone. I think Half in the bag should look beyond Hollywood. Try reviewing more indie-movies and more movies from outside the US. We make some good stuff over here in Europe too.Great stuff, actually.

    You talk a lot about Lars von Trier but have you seen Thomas Vinterbergs films? He’s a another dane from the Dogma-movement who has made som great, compelling, films. Or why not review something from swedish filmmaker Tomas Alfredsson?

    I love hearing you guys tearing a part schlocky Hollywood garbage but I would just love for you to go to town on something completely different.

  • Pebkio Nomare

    I whole heartedly agree with what Jay was trying to do with picking out new movies.
    I love things that are different Always.

    Now give us another BotW you hack frauds and it better be just like all the other ones.

  • ident

    Oh, are you speaking of Jovial Bob Stine? I heard his real name is R.L. Stine, the famous author of the Twilight series.

  • ident

    Legalize it, mon.

  • ident

    Like when the copy of The Dark Knight I got from Netflix was actually German Scheisse porn. That was a good day.

  • ident

    Well, if I can take you behind the scenes a bit, I was actually referring to Owen Wilson’s suicide attempt.

  • ident

    And it’s so frustrating to talk to younger people who think this shit is fresh. I hate you, young people. I hate your youth and I hate your stupid full head of hair. Fuck you.

  • Charlie Frontnagan

    so does Mr Rosenblatz drink straight Amaretto or something? Cause … ew.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Wasn’t he also the author of The DaVinci Code? Or maybe it was The Babysitter’s Club.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    No. Barry stole Harry’s identity and locked him in his own cellar. Didn’t you pay any attention?

  • Now I Get It

    Jason Noseman as Hop Sing.

  • Matthew Hayhow

    Have Mike and Jay seen ‘In Bruges’? It’s a great film with another amazing Ralph Fiennes comic role.

  • Now I Get It

    My mother said that, to light the torch at Sochi, Putin was going to breath fire from where he stood, but then that didn’t happen, so, another broken promise at home but clearly another gold for Obama.

  • Retrograde

    You missed out not watching Cap 2… Brilliant movie!

  • Dixon Bawls

    it’ll be great…

  • Now I Get It

    The pre-ILC “The Duck Factory” was too short-lived to be Carrey’s “Mork & Mindy”, but it did last just long enough to prove that he was the same slippery comic oddity as Robin Williams.


  • durhay

    At the end they describe a movie based off of John Cage’s 4’33”

  • Now I Get It

    But what I really want to say about all those Axe commercials is: why do those women chase those men when they could just buy the spray?

    And don’t tell me they’re too young to know any better, because that’s just the kind of savvy consumerism they’ve been teaching in Home Economics for decades.

  • Dixon Bawls

    Because it’s the Axe mixed with the manly musk they crave.
    Trust me, I know…(ok, not really.)

  • Now I Get It

    I don’t know. I once sprayed some on my bicycle seat, then watched from a distance for what happened next. The results were disgusting. …Oh, wait, which gland does musk come from?

  • kezd

    Is the actor playing the lawyer a relative of Mike’s? Their voices are quite similar. Any truth in that?

  • Now I Get It

    Years ago, a friend of mine suffered a stricture that could be cleared only by the insertion of a rod of some kind, then his older brother got his testes in a literal twist – “torsion” they called it.

    I’ll admit that, as an adolescent facing a lifetime of bore maintenance and such, I began to wish that I’d been born with girlnads. Apparently, they mature worry-free.

  • Now I Get It

    I’m sorry, no. So far every Maytag Man has been bald. Except in Quebec, where he’s always been black.


  • ident

    How so?

  • ident

    Jim Carrey? Isn’t he the white guy who dated Jennie McCarthy and hates vaccines? Or is he that old guy who desperately hit on Emma Stone?

  • Now I Get It

    We’re all waiting for that open-collar shot of a hairy chest that proves he’s a bear.

  • Now I Get It

    “Ti-Jean goes…” Nope, I’ve got nothing.

  • ident

    Everyone gather round! This is the reason Transformers 4 got made. Stone him!

  • ident

    Wait…Old_Gregg isn’t the Internet…is he?

  • durhay

    From 21:52 to 22:02 it sounds something like a performance of 4’33”. I should have been more clear.

  • ident

    I can see that. Assuming Andy Warhol didn’t do it already.

  • Now I Get It

    Wtf? W(hy)tf? W(ho)tf? W(hen)tf? W(here)tf?

    Hey, I just realised: I must be a journalist. …W(ow)tf!

  • ident

    If that’s true, I’ll donate to keep them tweaking. More content and cleaner sets.

  • Jason

    oh, right. real life. why’d you have to bring that into this?

  • ident

    I don’t get those references. Is that from the Cop Dog review?

  • ident

    Why haven’t they responded?!

  • ident

    They completely plateaued on the Action genre. They need to shock their system with some quirky romcoms and try to increase the resistance with some hardcore period dramas. After a few months, they should be able to come back and hit the Action genre harder than ever push past that plateau.

  • ident

    If that movie was Weekend at Bernies, mission accomplished.

  • ident

    And somehow David Decotteau’s white noise is excessively homoerotic.

  • ident

    They should have stayed faithful to the source material. That shit’s fucking insane.

  • ident

    Wait, who’s Bucky…or any of those people? Where is Thor?

  • ident

    In my slash fiction they are.

  • Jean-François Martel

    You gotta have something for everyone.

  • Paul Schumann

    the bar is pretty low for games journalism…
    (which isn’t saying much since regular journalism is in the toilet)

  • Paul Schumann

    and who could forget Fiennes role as that lovable scamp Amon Goeth…

  • Paul Schumann

    wait, you’re here now? RLM is OVER (cue portlandia sequence)

  • Paul Schumann

    This is still the funniest RLM ending I’ve seen in… forever.

  • Paul Schumann


  • Mr_Carstairs

    Goddammit I fucking love you freaks.. If you 3 ever stop making videos I will leave flaming bags of shit on your doorsteps for the rest of the life of the universe and stuff.

  • Cameron Vale

    Come on, jovial is a real word, you flatter Bob Stine by acting like he made it.

  • TapewormBike

    The naughty rascal, what crazy adventures await him and his friend Oskar? Find out…

  • JimTreacher


  • TapewormBike

    Wait, which Denzel Washington movie is this?

  • Cameron Vale

    I didn’t notice the sprinkles right away, but now they’re my favorite detail.

  • Cameron Vale

    possible pun on “bury”

  • Paul Schumann

    Never seen you in the combox here before. Enjoy your stay my good man.
    (I used to follow you on twitter a while back.)

  • Frisco

    What the hell happened to the RLM banner at about 1:30 of the video?! That lawyer’s kitchen is haunted or something, holy cow.

  • Red Rowz

    Very skillful segue in to this week’s film reviews!

  • playdude92 .

    This poor-ass lawyer doesn´t even have windows. The real cost of rebuilding the house will be 100 k, with him keeping all the rest of the city´s settlement.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Not quite sure I want smell-o-vision. Just glad to see Warhol in a wrestling pedophile hobo jacket.

  • Joe Syxpac

    I didn’t know that waiting for RLM content had been banned!

    What has this world come to?

  • Joe Syxpac

    Not enough poop and vomit.

  • Not Claude Akins

    A failed Weekend at Bernie’s homage? You mean Weekend at Bernie’s 2?

  • Not Claude Akins

    Awesome handle, man.

  • Not Claude Akins
  • Duckler

    So what did Rich think of The Grand Budapepse Motel?

  • Dixon Bawls

    reeeally looks like he’s holding up her panties…

  • Taft you FUCK

    Taft like little complimentary man. Taft will not eat when world ends.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    As I read your comment, every motivational track from the Rocky movies played in my head at once.
    Discordant yet inspiring.

  • Zach McDonald

    You guys need to review Snowpiercer. Would love to hear your opinions on it.

  • TexasDice

    You guys are so funny, smart and witty. I love you, RLM Team.

  • Percy Gryce

    I was going to say “thord” but then dismissed the thought.

    Always go with your gut.

  • Percy Gryce

    Bring back Gillian! What’s ticket from Waco to Milwaukee cost anyway?

  • Percy Gryce

    This is recockulous.

  • Alex Lee

    “Rosenblatt.,,” I wonder if he’s related to the one from the Dunkin’ Donuts commercial.

  • Striker, Ted

    Probably the equivalent fabric as is in her entire panty drawer…did I just mention Megan Fox’s panty drawer?


  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Too soon.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Confirmed for Ralph…

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Why would Rich react to an animated film that came out in 2001?


  • jaymanxyz2

    Wow. You’re completely right.

  • Jason Wallace

    Can you review the new Transformers, similar to #3, but this time either blindfolded and/or wearing ear plugs, in shifts, and piece it together.

  • Percy Gryce

    You mean, on the Happy Train?

  • Percy Gryce

    Thanks, Obama.

  • Percy Gryce

    Treacher shows up from time to time. I would guess I saw his first comment here 18 months ago or so–maybe further back.

  • Percy Gryce

    No, season 5 of The Grabowskis with a little bit of Dude Bros mixed in.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    They might want to bring training videos like this back to the movie screen with regards to movie watching decorum.


  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    He probably felt the hotel was a subtle ad for Pepto-bismol. Wes Anderson is a fraud!

  • Percy Gryce

    Mike only appears incognito. Jay only appears to smite fake Mikes, disclaim his own acting ability, or put errant commenters in their place.

    They don’t do requests.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    They can’t see it just yet, Hopefully they change their minds about it.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    He made target practice cheap and easy.

  • Percy Gryce

    Hunger Games. Check your facts.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    If he can’t afford a phone in his office, he can’t afford a bar cart for mixing, either.

  • Percy Gryce

    That’s an odd coincidence.

  • Percy Gryce

    Ahh, they were all so young back then and Jay was Amish for a while.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I want to see them review Dhoom 3. I don’t know why, but that movie’s just so over-the-top and fun in a way that’s not “film by committee.”

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    What about his cousin from the south?

  • Percy Gryce

    Olympus Has Fallen Down by the White House.

  • Percy Gryce

    Not to turn this space into the Percy Gryce Medical Hour, but I’ve also experienced one of the other conditions you describe above.

    I’ve never quite had the desire not to be male, but I do fear genital mutilation more than just about anything else on earth or in the rest of the nine realms. Just throwing that out there.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I think he’s the white guy who hates guns but doesn’t have a problem making money off of them through violent movies.

  • Percy Gryce

    You had me going there for a minute. And scariest of all, I actually cared about your welfare–although I was equally glad that Canadia was stuck with the medical bill.

  • Percy Gryce

    That’ll be great.

  • Percy Gryce

    Cop Dog? Cop Cop?

  • Percy Gryce

    That is the correct attitude.

  • Percy Gryce

    At least you’re not a fucking sloth. Or are you?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    He stole that idea from the book “Wayside Battles from Wayside Royale.” It’s about a survival school where everyone has potato tattoos.

    Arnold Schwarzenegger is the principal who sends the dead students home on the Kindergarten bus.

  • Percy Gryce

    It’s all in the eye makeup.

  • Percy Gryce

    What illusion? Is this going to be like the time my folks had a little talk with me about Santa and the Easter Bunny?

  • Percy Gryce

    Always with the Deadwood references. When are you going to accept that it’s not coming back.

  • Percy Gryce

    Is that the one with the CD cenobite? It’s good for a larf.

  • Ross McLean

    I also thought of 4’33”, then. I guess perhaps it’s a more obvious joke than I realized.

  • catnep

    Tabernac! There was a French Canadian Maytag man? Crap. Did they steal WKRP too?

  • catnep

    I would be interested in this too. We shut it off after Tilda Swinton’s shoe speech. What did you think of it?

  • Now I Get It
  • Now I Get It

    No, but there was once a quebecois colour palette that made one stand up and say “Never again!” like we all did for Herb Tarlek’s plaids.

  • Now I Get It

    No, nor have I quite. I think it was more like an adolescent’s voir dire, wherein I was a male pretending to be a woman pretending to be a man, peeping through a keyhole at myself fucking Julie Andrews, while she wore a Robert Preston mask. Or something.

    As for transgender, I’ve known only one. I don’t know when he made his decision, but in her middle years things (marriage) began to fall apart, leaving the fallout of an adopted child. The pre-surgery consultations screen for the desire to self-mutilate, of course, but I’ve heard that, regardless, the desire itself is actually a form of nihilism.

    I’m not sure what to think about any of it. But, like Emory from “Boys in the Band”, I was destined to consider any proposition – three times – so, I’m sure that, eventually, I’ll get it.

  • Now I Get It

    When that pain-in-the-balls-Marshall Bullock comes back with Hoss, Little Joe, and Candy to save the fucking town for Adam to rebuild, of course.

  • apk

    what is WROOONG with your HAANDS

  • Milliways

    That extended shot in the end was quite impressive, I watched the lawyer’s face the entire time and he didn’t even so much as smirk.

  • Chris Kaczmarczyk

    Anyone else notice at 1:47 there is a RedLetterMedia banner in the background that wasn’t there in the previous or following shots of that doorway?

  • Benjamin McElvany

    Yea I did…love it :)

  • Mark Bisone


  • ident

    No, I believe you’re the first. Did you know Jovial Bob Stine is actually R.L. Stine?

  • Now I Get It

    That ending was bogus. Everyone knows Rich’s shit don’t stink.

    Theft: 5
    Everyone: 0

  • twistedboots

    RE: Cheap Thrills: I think there was a point to the movie. I thought the ending brought that whole thing home to what people would do and how far they would go when in desperate measures.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Tommy used a number line to see how many times Arnold Schwarzenegger has said “Get your ass to Mars” and “I’ll be back” in his lifetime. Find his error. Then write a letter telling Tommy why he’s going to get testicular cancer.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Mike threatened to enroll the lawyer into the MILF terrorist organization if he screwed up. And if that didn’t work-dick stabbing assassins.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Oooh, Jessi, Jack, Rich, and Wizard could join in, take 10 minute shifts, and just rotate throughout the 4 hour movie.

  • catnep

    Well, my Maytag paradigm is left in shards thanks to you. Colin Ferguson doesn’t fit the chubby stereotype of an unneeded repairman! The war on fat has traveled back in time and ruined my childhood!

  • Now I Get It

    Yes, a childhood is a terrible thing to ra…, er-uhm, ruin.

    FULL DISCLOSURE: when I read “Colin Ferguson”, I pictured Craig Ferguson and naturally thought of kilts, but it still works for the Herb Tarlek thing, because many kilts are plaid and they’re all terrible, except for black watch, which is glorious, so, forget I disclosed anything.

  • Paulus Cañamonjas

    3.430.124 fucking views! :O

  • Meester Smeeth

    They could have come up with someone better than Gal Gadot, though, surely. Someone who doesn’t have all the charisma of a damp plank of wood would be a great place to start.

  • Darius Sinclair

    Can someone make a gif or vine of Mike saying “Hated it!” and reply to me with it?

  • Greg

    Well, it looks like Half in the Bag takes place in the 80’s. Did anyone else notice the portrait of Ronald Reagan behind the lawyer?

  • The Summer of George

    And cue: “Exiting Lawyer’s Office: Additional Footage”, in 3, 2, 1…

  • Alex Humphrey

    I really don’t care about either of those movies, but I think this was my favorite half in the bag ever

  • pete smith

    Just watched “you’re next” since you mentioned and I can confirm it sucks urban markets peter.

  • Name

    THX 1138?

  • Gabriel Priddy

    Dear Fucking Hacks…you should watch and review Noah. That movie is a fucking anomaly by any standard. I loved it, but I’ve been stylistically designed to appreciate its diminished effects.

  • Claudia King

    That ending had me in stitches. You guys are way too good at awkward physical comedy.

  • babyjew

    I don’t think Cheap Thrills was totally lost on You’re Next as it has the same playful, harsh, straight forward dialogue about one’s life choices that kept You’re Next going . And the end scene of Cheap Thrills, though subtle, is a satisfying way to make a comment on the power of money.

  • Retrograde

    Oh really? That’s odd, normally these things are always out in the US before the UK!


    Either way gents, don’t miss out on that one just because it’s a Marvel sequel. If you like action thrillers along the lines of Bourne and 24, it’s great purely on that level alone, never even mind if you don’t necessarily care for Cap or the MCU on the way in!

  • Stardog Champion

    Mike should have dress up as Plinkett himself.

  • catnep

    Full disclosure? So you admit to wearing a kilt!

    The sporran kitten oracle doesn’t lie…


  • http://www.google.net/ Kenny

    Why not review Need for Speed? I̶t̶ ̶w̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶f̶e̶w̶ ̶m̶o̶v̶i̶e̶s̶ ̶I̶’̶l̶l̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶a̶c̶t̶u̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶s̶e̶e̶n̶ ̶b̶e̶f̶o̶r̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶t̶c̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ YOUr̶ ̶r̶e̶v̶i̶e̶w̶s̶ HACKS. Oops! I almost spilled the secret. Don’t worry I fixed it.

  • bb-15

    OMG! Hilarious ending to this episode. Great job gang.

  • Now I Get It

    I am with kilt, yes, for I can think of no better use for 10 yards of lamb’s wool than the manufacture of a single kilt, and no greater service for a litter of pelts than the making of a sporran to honour the alpha kitten that skinned its siblings.

  • Now I Get It

    Do you have a go-to site for reviews on specs and game play?

  • Charon

    “I’m clumsy, but I’m still alive!”

  • Now I Get It

    On the other hand, if I was practicing law out of a Wisconsin spider-hole of unpainted drywall, a sexy change like that might be better than a rest.

    Clearly a missed opportunity to join the team of Bruce Cutler and Jacques Verges, two of comedy’s most renowned corpsers.

  • Paul Schumann

    Not really, but for reliability I’d go with Off Duty Gamers for solid reviews. http://www.offdutygamers.com/ They are all vets and reviews are about whether the game’s fun, is it accurate in military details, and what’s the gameplay like. The only downside is they don’t cover a lot of games.

    The big sites all seem to have pretty similar takes on the big “AAA” titles so I won’t just depend on one for all my news. Also, it’s now in vogue for progressive gaming writers to mingle at Polygon and selectively cry about the “patriarchy,” sexism (which there is, no doubt), & “equality” for same-sex-attracted folks in games.

    I only game on PC, so often I end up looking at the Steam user reviews of games. (And I never buy games at full price… Always wait for a steam sale) Today, my favorite game is Verdun, a WWI shooter that’s in pre-release mode on steam. Forces you to work together with your team to win.

    In a final bit of shameless self-promotion, I wrote an essay on BioShock: Infinite, based solely on the religious elements in game. http://unpleasantaccents.blogspot.com/2013/12/god-and-man-at-columbia.html My buddy was kind enough to host it on his blog.

  • catnep

    Now when you put it that way, I feel bad. Fortunately there are other exciting oracles to pair with a kilt this season. Give or take another 10 yards of wool…


  • Now I Get It

    Oh, shit, I see you were right. David Koechner is bald. My bad.

  • Felix K

    You guys really are set design wizards.

  • Taft you FUCK

    Earl. Simply Earl. We don’t care for last names down here. SINCE WE’RE ALL RELATED. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH*dies*

  • Taft you FUCK

    This made my brain fizzle.

  • Alex Lee

    It’s a little unfair to beat up the severely underweight child.

  • Seth Smith

    Lol, so the Red Letter Media sign in the background disappeared midscene at 2:00ish.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Why’s that?

  • Taft you FUCK

    Jim Carrey + Violent Movies = Um, when?

  • TapewormBike

    Around Kick Ass 2. He refused promoting it because he hates promoting violence. Logic at its finest.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Kickass 2. That was the reason for him getting slammed in the first place. He made that movie, then decided afterwards that he was against the movie because of its violence, even though he was anti-gun for years before that.

  • Taft you FUCK

    Crap. I feel like a plebe. I totally forgot about this story. Yeah, he was my idol in high school, many years ago, and made some fantastic comedies, but that moment was not his finest. Bet it was real easy to cash that check before he started spouting off at the mouth.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Loved Ace, Mask, D&D’er. He was my weird high school crush, because climbing out of a rhino’s backside is super sexy.

    I didn’t realize you could fit in the desks of your high school. Were they made special just for you, Mr. President?

  • catnep

    Oh my gad. Is the baby freak David Koechner?

    Hey yeah, I can see that now!

  • Now I Get It

    Indeed! Crushed by the weight of life into a diamond chrysalis, Koechner was reborn as a slimy oracle to reflect his unswaddled wisdom on any traveler willing to pay the fabulous toll to travel his same road.

    (Hint: bring a juice box.)

    Theft: 6
    Louis C.K.: 0

  • catnep
  • Now I Get It

    The lizard gots to be paid.

  • Booger

    I really enjoyed GBH. I’m not a Wes Anderson fan (have only seen Moonrise Kingdom) but the visual style really grabbed me. It felt separated from but influenced by reality which works because we experience the story through several sources, some of whom may have been unreliable. This made sense to me because the Adrian Brody and Willem Defoe characters were wholly evil without much other dimension like they were being described through the eyes of somebody that viewed them entirely as such. It had some subtext about looking back to older generations and passing on to the next but it was more style over substance. Not a bad thing though, I left the theater thoroughly entertained, engaged, and charmed.

  • Taft you FUCK

    I sat Indian style on the floor and wrote all my papers on a pallet made of rotten wood. Other children used me as a beanbag chair. Thanks for reminding me.

  • Booger

    Carrie Plinkett would be another great reboot. She get’s covered in Cherry Plinkett before killing her two dads Terry and Perry Plinkett then she drinks a glass of Dairy Plinkett and…I don’t feel good…I feel…Very..Plinkett.

  • thatsrightjay

    You’re Next is amazing, and your comment is a bit misleading since the crux of their comments was about how much they enjoyed You’re Next, and now I’m pissed because you made me say crux.

  • thatsrightjay

    Dat stomach in the background…

  • Booger

    What do you call that? “Worst of the Worst”?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    The torture device of the modern age.

  • Charon

    I’m no hipster, but Wes Anderson truly is the master of contemporary visual representation and perspective in film. He’s also a pretty damned good writer, and he directs his actors well. The Grand Budapest Hotel is charming, witty, and feels convincingly life-like because of the contrast of all three.

    Wes Anderson is talented, smart and driven by his own view of cinema. I honestly can’t think of any of his fellow American filmmakers who can even begin to say how “tight” their production was in comparison. The level of perseverance, craft, and love that goes into his movies is virtually unparalleled, and his peers should be ashamed for hating on such a precise aesthetic.

  • hawks5999

    No Noah?

  • Debao

    Does Mike wax his hands?

  • Jason Ross

    Jay was born after 1984? Hax frauds deluxe.

  • http://delborovic.com Del Borovic

    Oh my god. The ending to this episode had me crying with laughter. Especially the part where Jay tried to balance on both of the chairs. I just lost it! Keep up the awesome, guys!!

  • jaymanxyz2

    But then there would be no hilarious scene! That is, at least not as hilarious. Although it would be interesting to see Mike in Plinkett’s costume. Jay, too.

  • ashley

    red letter media banner in the background at 1:05

  • Isaac Thefallenapple

    I know, it was a little bit too long :)

  • bb-15

    I’m also not “a Wes Anderson devotee”.
    But I liked Budapest Hotel.

    A standard plot point of some of Anderson’s films is that he focuses on younger characters and the older characters tag along (imo) without a decent motivation. Basically I have thought; why is Bill Murray hanging around in “Rushmore”? Or why do the adults in “Moonrise” Kingdom” act like fools while the kids are so wise?
    Anyway that’s my personal taste.

    With “The Grand Budapest Hotel” the pairing of the Ralph Fiennes’ character and Zero worked very well. There was a clear motivation to why Fiennes was in the movie which gave a good balance with the younger characters.

    If Anderson would continue to explore more serious topics in his movies (without everything being farce or fantasy) as he does in this film, but only take it to a deeper level, then I believe he could be a an excellent film maker, maybe even getting to the

  • Noah Roalson

    I’m here! ;)

  • Rob Hruska

    I think you should be putting your efforts into more Plinkett reviews. With all respect, and I have a lot for you, these just aren’t as entertaining as the Plinkett reviews. Not sure why you stopped doing those in favor of this.

  • Alvur

    You DON’T have a portrait of Ronald Reagan on your wall..?

  • Michael Vargas

    Was the last couple minutes solely to try to make the actor playing the lawyer lose it?

  • Grant Butler

    I read the movie title as Cheap TH Bills and thought it was a documentary on whatever TH Bills are in America lmao..

  • Quonk

    He probably just burnt off all the hair while messing with pyrotechnics or something.

  • Now I Get It

    Well, this took a “minute.”

    I’d heard about the Objectivist motifs in Bioshock, but didn’t know that the game had become an epicentre for cultural references. I wonder, then, if that’s why you found the theme of its second edition unsatisfying. If what that whole series is doing is wrestling out its creator’s own conflicting intellectual influences, then maybe each edition has to end up being neither this nor that, not purely Objectivist, not purely Christian, and so forth.

    And I wonder, further, if Fr. Sirico’s Acton Institute will it exhaust its agenda, similarly, to no unequivocal conclusion?


    P.S. Offdutygamers.com was exactly as you described: a little thin on reviews, but quite well-organized. Fortunately, they had hardware reviews, as I need a new mouse.

  • Paul Schumann

    If you want a *nice* gaming mouse that’s not really expensive, I’d recommend the Corsair Vengeance I just got for my brother. I think it was $50 on Amazon. Supposedly guaranteed for billions of clicks.
    I have a R.A.T.^7 but it’s kind of wonky every once in a while so I have to reset the settings.

  • Paul Schumann

    It may be that, but if the story of Infinite was as cohesive as the “objectivist themed” BioShock, I’d give it more credit for being enjoyable.

  • Now I Get It

    Thanks. The reviews I read on the higher end mice left me no wiser. They paid such serious attention to detail that I couldn’t weigh all the factors. Some things I just need to be told.

  • Lembach

    That Cheap Thrills poster looks like Gordon Ramsay screaming. “You cut off my bloody finger! You $%&*ing DONKEY!”

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  • Jason

    Hey, show some respect to the white half-white half-black black president, you racist!

  • Percy Gryce

    Hey, he’s whatever you want him to be:

  • Jason

    Well, now that that’s settled, only one question remains: Great President or Greatest President?

  • Percy Gryce

    Let’s just say that there’s never been another like him.

  • Jason

    Tru dat.

  • Now I Get It

    Oh, they are – little salted pralines – just go heavy on the tuna water and your kidneys will do the rest.

  • catnep

    Mmm! Fit for a cat’s tongue. Smothering them in chocolate must help them pass. http://www.bombonesludomar.com/images/il_ventanilla_cat.jpg

  • Tyler Morrissey

    Your idea for the blank movies is pretty good, but you forgot one thing: it needs a vague, boring Marvelesque post-credits sequence because every goddam movie is gonna have those soon.

  • staphinfection

    VOLDEMORT deserves an oscar nomination! The only thing missing from Grand Budapest was more screen time for Bill Murray.

  • Joe

    At some point Mike says about “The Royal Tenenbaums”: “there was a shot of Ben Stiller and his two children and they are all wearing matching track suits and I just thought to myself ‘fuck this movie'”.

    That is my issue for me with Wes Anderson, there is a moment like that early on in each of his films (and more moments throughout the film) where I just think to myself “fuck this movie”. Where it just feels like Wes Anderson has taken a tire iron with the word “artsy” written on it and has cracked me hard on the back of the skull with it. And every time such a moment happens it becomes pretty much impossible for me to forget that moment and move on and enjoy the movie. I’ll give Grand Budapest a shot based on their suggestion. But if the movie busts out a submarine cross-section, or an Owen Wilson nose bandage (because for some reason we need to call more attention to Owen Wilson’s nose) I’m going to be upset.

    I guess what always upsets me is that nobody in Wes Anderson films every notices how weird their Wes Anderson universe is, and if I were in that universe I would constantly be asking “why is that person acting random and weird”? And because none of his characters seem to do that, I can’t relate to any of them. Anyway I’ll give the movie a true chance though. I expect to dislike it, but I truly do not want to.

  • Mercutio

    those things that upsets you and take you out of the movie is to me just funny things. i loved the silly chase scene.

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    Posters only? Pay to sit in cinema, play on my phone to a blank screen with loud noises, eat popcorn, then watch the credits at the end? Where do I sign up?

  • iiiis

    Can someone tell me what Mike was referencing after Jay said Troma

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  • bb-15

    Just saw this again, to see the last bit at end. One of the funniest RLM moments, ever.

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    Yeah, it’s silly. But that’s sort of what’s fun about it. Did you ever read Roald Dahl books as a kid? :-)

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  • Paul Schumann

    Well I don’t think that story had broken at the time but apparently, yeah.

  • Now I Get It

    Yeah, sorry, I meant “the kind of thing.”

    As with any scandal the situation would have been developing in secret over time, and been known by some number of insiders. So, as much as climategate, it reminds me of the DragonCon scandal of several years ago…


    or the more recent “Fappening”, which supposedly began with a brisk trade in celebrity skin among a ring of marginal characters down some of the net’s shadier alleyways, till some even more minor player blew the gaff for everyone.


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