Half in the Bag: CHAPPiE

March 8, 20153,155 Comments

Finally free from the depths of Lake Michigan, Mike and Jay talk about Neil Blomcrap’s latest film Chappie.


Filed in: Half in the Bag

  • spidertour02

    That amazing moment when you sit down for dinner, feel compelled to check RLM for no reason, and find a freshly-posted episode waiting for you.

  • stryker1121

    So it seems the Alien franchise is in good hands. Please tell me this is so!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Blomkamp is a talented guy but holy fuck did he mess up here. DON’T FUCK UP ALIEN!

  • Michael Collins

    WOW, some real content at last…

  • ModernDayMinstrel

    This subplot is “UP” in an alternate universe.

  • Techee44

    YEEEEEEEEEEEE BOY

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I actually had the chance to be in this movie. I’m not joking. I read my part and I said “Nah, I’ll go for something else.”

  • Wicked Ricky

    After District 9 and Elysium, I was hoping people wouldn’t still fall for Bloom Camper.

  • Daniel Bellfield

    Rich kinda looks like a badass with a beard

  • Wicked Ricky

    Yeah, Mike looks good next to him.

  • SkaMP

    Damn it you lazy hacks! when is the NEXT Half in the Bag?!

  • acrosticmcgee

    Suddenly Mike and Jay have EXPENSIVE, SHINT, MOUSSED HAIR? Did they do a wedding video for a dog groomer or something? I noticed that Rich did not have expensive hair. I guess he threw up in the punch or otherwise screwed the pooch, possibly literally.

  • Percy Gryce

    Chappie? More like Crappie.

  • tOmy`

    That “12 years to make” joke is soooo January.

    3234!

  • Confirmed for Jay.

  • Wicked Ricky

    One night on the internet is all you need to be an expert in anything, Mike.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *slow clap*

  • Wicked Ricky

    *slow crap*

  • omitted

    DTF! 😀

  • Studio Executive

    DOWNLOADING FILMS IS NOT A JOKE! IT IS A CRIME!!!

  • Michael Collins

    hahahahaha

  • WrongWithYourFace

    How did they get the balloon onto the roof, you hacks??

  • KonradZell

    Damn, Jay’s hair is looking FABULOUS.

  • Michael Collins

    I saw you in this episode..

  • tOmy`

    That one made me happy. I was worried I am the only one around being hyp enough to use that.

  • tOmy`

    Confirmed for Prometheus.

  • Daniel Bellfield

    but what about the three grandpas

  • Jillian

    Did you know that Boyhood took 12 YEARS to make?

  • Harry Palm

    ‘District 9’ should’ve been called ‘District 9 Movies We Ripped-off’ because every damn scene in that movie comes from other movies like ‘Alien Nation’, ‘Enemy Mine’, ‘The Fly’, ‘Men In Black’, ‘V’, ect. I’m glad this thieving hack asshole’s new movie bombed and he’s getting raked over the coals for stealing ideas, but I wish more people would call out ‘District 9’ for being a huge pile of stolen ideas.

  • omitted

    Of course Jay notices all the drawings of dicks.

  • castlemonster

    So Chappie is crappy.

  • Michael Collins

    “go sleep weepy” sounded like south park Michael Jackson..

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Where’s Pa Kent? He totally called this!

  • tOmy`

    I think this movie should have had a tagline:

    “Starring Yolandee and Ninja – Creators of I Fink U Freeky, Happy Go Sucky Fucky and Orinoco Flow remix (opening with the immortal: “I think about you when I masturbate”)”.

    That’s how you sell this movie, ffs.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    3234 423 annnnnddd

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    The funniest, ironic, and hypocritical part about that video? This ‘anti-piracy’ commercial didn’t pay the music artist for his work. They paid him for certain terms and they later broke their terms. Basically, this music was stolen … in an ANTI-piracy video. That’s something Bill Shakesman would probably write. Here’s a chunk from an article about it:

    “Back in 2006, Buma/Stemra approached a Dutch musician, Melchior Reitveldt, to write some music for an anti-piracy ad, with the strict proviso that this music would be played only and exclusively at a local film festival. Mr. Reitveldt wrote the music, it was played, he got paid and all was well.

    But then, in 2007, he bought a Harry Potter DVD and to his surprise, there was his music in the anti-piracy ad at the beginning. His composition had been taken and used without his permission. In fact, it had been illegally used on dozens of movie DVDs, both in Holland and overseas. You probably have one at home right now.

    So Mr. Reitveldt went to the Buma/Stemra music royalty collection agency to clear up this misunderstanding, and ran into a brick wall. Nothing happened for a long time, and then pathetically small refunds were offered, and then they weren’t paid in full, and the delaying tactics went on and on.”

    Read the rest here:

    http://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2013/01/29/3678851.htm

  • Lt Hurwitz

    No one ever made that joke before.

  • Percy Gryce

    It’s looking like Blomcrap is the new M. Nite Shamamalamalan.

  • Sully

    Fraudcamp, you son-of-a-bitch! I had high hopes for this one.
    Just make sure you Direct… and only Direct Alien 5. Don’t go having any “original” ideas with that one, m’kay?

  • Sounded like Batman’s logic. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1byycwl8qgc

  • tOmy`

    Just to make this clear for people who don’t know what am I talking about: I swear to Rich I did not make anything of this up. Use google. Parental discretion advised.

  • omitted

    This video gave me a chubby.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “CHAPPiE? More like … CRAPMANiA!”

    – Mitchell Taco Nash, 8:09 PM Sunday, March 8, 2015, on the RLM Facebook page

  • Flaw Filial

    Pa Kent says “maybe.”
    Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    *stow crap … aka an outhouse*

  • He’s going to direct Alien, alright. Direct-to-video.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “DON’T FUCK UP ALIEN!”

    What’s Prometheus?

  • Flaw Filial

    “Chappie?”
    Pssh.
    More like “CRAPTACULAR!”
    Did I do wordplay right?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    how can you have hopes after Elysium?

  • Sully

    To be fair, every movie is a series of borrowed plot-lines and sequences. Some are just better at hiding their inspirations than others.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Chappie was a lot like Batman, actually. Especially when he beat up the bad guy to a pulp and said “no more violence”.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    ElySium*

    The S stands for ‘hope’.

  • Sully

    Everyone’s entitled to a flop every now and then.
    Plus, call me simple, but I like robots. I’ll still watch Chappie, “crappy” or not, but at least I now know to wear a poncho for when the popcorn and Pepsi starts to fly.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash
  • You probably should go to a proctologist.

  • tOmy`

    I will as well. We shall discuss it when the time is right.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Sully, you look … different.

  • omitted

    *Jully

  • Sully

    And just like MOS, that “hope” apparently stands for “nope.”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    The subtext of this comment: FIRST!!!!1!!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    He switched genders.

  • Percy Gryce

    3234 423 annnnnddd

  • Mating season’s on.

  • Sully

    Hey there….

    How you doin’?

  • Flaw Filial

    It’s not stealing the joke if I BELIEVE I came up with it first.

  • Sully

    Here comes the lipstick… ahhhhhhh yeaahhhhhh…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What was the black goo?

  • omitted

    Hey, what about the wife and pups?

  • tOmy`

    So… what kinda fox are you?

  • omitted

    Sail away, motherfuckers!

  • Sully

    Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
    hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
    hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhit!

  • omitted

    I prefer white goo myself.

  • Sully

    The uh… best kind?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m not sure if I should flag.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Just like the filmmakers did to my script! 😀

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    fag*

  • Wizard Phoenix

    A bundle of sticks?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    see Elysium was basically a remake of District 9 except worse in every way possible.Now Chappie rehashes D9 yet again and it’s even worse then Elysium.That confirms Neil Flopkamp as a total hack fraud for me.

  • omitted

    Straight boys, always obsessed with who came first. Tsk tsk.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You gotta burn the hobo- the hogo- the homosent- … the gays somehow.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hopefully Blomkamp’s Alien movie will answer our Prometheus questions. Questions like why did the ancient humans have a map to an engineer weapon facility?

  • I’ll paraphrase Jay on this one it’s like an infinite regression to garbage.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The happy people?

  • Flaw Filial

    I saw Robocop last night an it’s still excellent.
    There was social commentary, yeah, but the film, at its core, was about a man regaining his humanity and shooting a guy in the dick.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Fork in the brain?

  • Fartastic

    I can’t respect Hugh Jackman if he doesn’t wear his claws.

  • tOmy`

    I guess the Force told them, so they can find the goo.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Fact: CHAPPIE was the #1 movie at the box office this weekend in the US.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Social commentary? I haven’t heard that commentary yet. Which DVD set is that on?

  • tOmy`

    That ship sailed away when I saw Deadpool on the screen.

    Sorry, but no more. I am NOT taking this anymore.

  • omitted

    Only if my di… it’s a rainbow flag.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Maybe one day it’ll evolve into a really funny comedy… something on par with The Happening perhaps?

  • Michael Collins

    Hopefully it won’t have anything at all to do with that stinking turd..

  • Jegsimmons

    chappie was decent….nothing special. Not offensive.

    I think niel is just trying to get funding so he can do a Halo movie.

  • omitted

    Good thing I’m already flaming.

  • tOmy`

    Oh God, that actually brings back a lot of mixed memories.

    I remember being high yet crying like never before. I would call it a panic attack, but there was no panic, just a massive invasion to my brain.

  • tOmy`

    So… you would steal a car?

    Speaking of stealing cars: Hows the shoot going?

  • Jillian

    Was I the only one wearing a confused expression through most of the explanation of the movie’s plot? Even thought the guys did their best trying to explain it,it’s such a mess. I suspect it’s the movie’s own fault, because it doesn’t know what it wants to be about or what it’s underlying moral/message is supposed to be.

    What a waste of a perfectly good Wolverine.

  • Sully

    He needs to stop trying to make Johannesburg happen. We get it, Neil. It’s a shit hole, which is why no one else shoots there.

  • tOmy`

    Oh come on, they absolutely told you that Prometheus had nothing to do with Aliens… Didn’t you get that from the shot of alien and the whole origin story?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    These robots are pawns.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Hugh Jackman was just thinking, “How can I re-use my Real Steel skills?’ and this project presented itself. Blom should have re-made Robot Jox instead.

  • tOmy`

    Didn’t see the movie yet, but I had that same feeling from the trailers (which is somewhat even more… disturbing):

    I just could not wrap my head around about what genre or topic or Die Antwoord is it supposed to be. I am looking forward to seeing it, but I am still very unsure about what am I getting into.

  • Percy Gryce

    Enya is turning over in her grave.

  • Maybe he wanted to be artsy and present grey areas. I dunno.

  • tOmy`

    She did. No matter what she said, that’s what I tell my bros.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Fartastic

    Why is the alien hungry? Why doesn’t it have the medical insurance necessary to pay for a competent surgeon who could remove its deformed fetus tongue? Is the answer capitalism? Is socialism the answer?

  • Why do I get the feeling that the next Alien is going to take place on Yorth? Could it possibly follow the events of Resurrection or will they retconn everything past Aliens? Is Sigourney Weaver even attached to the project?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Fact: District 9 made more in its first day.
    Fact: District 9 cost $19M less.
    Fact: This will be one of the lowest grossing weekends overall of the year [it would have placed 49th out of 53 had this weekend been part of 2014].
    Fact: This is the lowest grossing #1 film since Ouija came 1st in its 2nd weekend [just a smidgen ahead of Nightcrawler] on the weekend of Oct. 31-Nov. 2.
    Fact: I’m a raging geek/nerd about this kind of stuff.

  • Percy Gryce

    SHINT = shit in it?

  • omitted

    Someone forgot about their cheerleader persona again.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    More like, CHUMPPIE, amirite?

  • Sully

    Is it really as bad as The Happening? Is anything?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    not yet. so far it’s just miserable.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I enjoyed that turd the same way the RLM crew enjoys their BotW films.

  • omitted

    Fact: I have another erection now.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You did that on purpose!

  • tOmy`

    It’s… complicated. It has to do a lot with full moon, full glass…

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    She died? Was she also invited to Plinkett’s New Year party?

  • omitted

    Full monty?

  • My ex wife

    Uncle Monty?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    you saw nothing!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    *Licks finger*
    *Places on ass cheek*
    *Sizzling sound*

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Fact: CHAPPiE has made more in its opening weekend than Strange Magic has as of March 5th ($12m)

  • tOmy`

    I love you.

    This used to be my ringtone for an undisclosed period of time (read: till my friends finally told me to shove it up my *beep* *beep* *beep*, you *beep* *beep* and go *beep* your *beep*.)

  • echto

    No mention of Die Antwoord in the review. I wonder if they even know who they are.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s absolutely hysterical.Markie Mark is a national treasure

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1PK4qYzNkI

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’m laughing so hard right now.

  • omitted

    You missed!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “Wrong hole?”
    “There’s only one.”
    “Oh …”

  • tOmy`

    I was actually thinking about it, while already doing some puns before the review come up. Are they even famous in US?

  • omitted

    My dead grandma has made more than Strange Magic.

  • tOmy`

    [redacted for fucking up Enya’s lyrics]

  • My brain is full of garbage information like that. I run purely on references. I’m like an uncyplopaedia article.

  • omitted

    I didn’t know you were going to rip me a new one. I’m game!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Ho ho ho
    Now I have a franchise.

  • tOmy`

    Garbage? Are you calling Shnappi a garbage?!

    He never asked for this. He never had a choice.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Mark: “How should I do these lines?”
    M. Night Shogaloo: “Okay, so, pretend you’re a kid that just got caught stealing cookies from the cookie jar.”
    Mark, thinking: “I went from getting nominated in ‘The Departed’ to this?! What next, a Michael Bay film?”

  • dollar store cashier wife

    best of the worst ‘musicians in movies’ episode would be nice.

    here’s my first suggestion:

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0118589/?ref_=nv_sr_1

  • My ex wife

    Mike is becoming more cynical and indifferent towards everything with each new episode and Jay has no empathy.
    I will still rent this film when it’s available.

  • Does Shoji Tabouchi count?

    I’d nominate Britney Spears for whatever the name of that crap film she was in. Crosswords? Crosseyes? Crossroads?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Fact: That made me smile, perhaps even chuckle.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    They did look realll pretty… got to be ready and look your best when Grindr goes off, you know.

  • echto

    They arent Taylor Swift levels of fame, but they arent unknown. You wont be hearing them on our radio stations though, that’s for sure.

  • Try not to leave any mess on the carpet.

  • tOmy`

    That’s just because their music doesn’t work without their videoclips tho. The scream of unsuspecting victims of my I-will-show-you-a-great-clip moments syncs up really well with their music.

  • Sully

    I liked the soundtrack… and some of the random acts of violence because of how absurd they were. Other than that, I got nuthin’.

  • tOmy`

    And she doesn’t know anything about Star Wars.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Raging Geek. This *has* to happen.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i love it when i have a new video to watch in my lunch break.

  • tOmy`

    Good night!

  • The Ghost

    Jay described it as “Frustrating.” Yep. I felt exactly the same way about “Elysium.” Some really neat elements, good performances, production design, all good stuff. But the ham-fisted, blunt manner in which it deals with social commentary is too bothersome to ignore. Avatar is an appropriate comparison. They all have the “EVIL PERSON IN SUIT WANTS SOMETHING DESTROYED” scene.

  • tOmy`

    Tiesto: In Concerto.

    No, wait, that was something different.

  • omitted

    She keeps appearing to me as a glowing Force ghost. Shoo grandma, I’m trying to masturbate here!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    This is the ‘The Order 1886’ of movies, no?

  • tOmy`

    Thank you, I am slowly preparing for a bed time and this mental image shall guide me.

    I need to make some real-life friends…

  • Sully

    As long as the xenomorph doesn’t find its way to Earth. The AVP films already took a steaming pile on the franchise with that bullshit. The whole point of the first two films was that the alien CAN’T BE ALLOWED TO REACH EARTH!!

  • Sully

    Lunch? Down Under? You sexy man animal, you.

  • omitted

    To join you in the bed?

  • Sully

    Do I have to hit ⓧ to make Chappie beat the shit out of the bad guy?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    2:23
    “I’m gonna go outside and take a walk.”
    *He stands up out of his wheelchair.*

    It’s the small details that I enjoy.

  • omitted

    *off

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Chappie punching a guy in the dick – now there’s your movie.

  • tOmy`

    William Shakesman once said that all the stories have been told already.

    #Wikipedia

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Chappie is crap. Who wants to talk about Whiplash?!

  • I was actually hoping they’d talk about it, too. That or Zardoz, at the least.

  • hybridm0ments

    I’m watching this without going to the movie because I have no interest in it.. which is odd because I love mechs and I enjoys Klomp’s movies. I mainly didn’t want to see it because Die Antwerd has a big role. I dig their music but I have no desire to see them try to act for 2 hours. Also, I have no interest in glorifying gang culture. There is enough of that shit in American movies.

    I’m looking forward to his aliens take. I hope he’ll add that biomechanical element that’s been missing.

  • Sully

    I’m guessing his second helping of beans in the next episode will send the house on a directional course towards yet more antics. Can’t fuckin’ wait!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Bond in a man-kini… this is the version of Connery that will burn in hell.

  • “Because it’s Crappiiiiiiiiie…” *serious face*

  • tOmy`

    I sorta hoped their break will be something by David Lynch, as he is a fan and invited them for “a chat”. Allegedly.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Jay: “Good W-Fi connection. It goes pretty quick.”
    Mike: “Maybe it’s ’cause we’re up in the sky, ya-know?”
    *Plinkett opens the door and starts screaming his “OOHH MMYY GOOOD!**

  • omitted

    Who are you, The Narrator?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Maybe its nitpicking but Mike missed a few chances to make ‘Mike jokes’ with chappy/crappy word-play. Might also be the altitude, without a proper BAC the lack of oxygen can mess with yo head.

  • Michael Collins

    Whiplash was crap too, but crapealing to a different audience..

  • dollar store cashier wife

    if he puts them in season 3 of Twin Peaks it will be either the best or the worst thing ever.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Whiplash crap? Oh no you’re gonna piss off Pa.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “Whiplash was crap too”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofSowNaihBk

  • Watch out for flying chairs.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “Good job.”

  • omitted

    On The Great Leader’s Cut.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Rather coincidental as this is from my ‘joke credits’ on my latest video:

    http://i.imgur.com/gmB7EzM.png

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Yes.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That’s sexist.

  • omitted

    You don’t control lightnings! Confirmed for hack fraud!

  • omitted

    Homophone!

  • Michael Collins

    Oh, did he like that shit?

  • jmt

    Fact: M Night Shymalan’s “The Village” had a 50M first week compared to 14M for Cappie.
    Fact: M Night’s Descent into awfulness was more gradual.

  • Like Icare

    “Chappie: There’s a lotta dicks on the wall.” – Mike Stoklasa, Red Letter Media

  • Confirmed.

  • Flaw Filial

    I was going to make some kind of orgasm joke, but I figured that you’d be the one to do it anyway.

  • Like Icare

    Cross-polination: Bees Gone Wild

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I was in that fucking movie.

  • Michael Collins

    Anyway, the movie is called chappie, wtf were people expecting?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    weekend*
    51M*
    13M*
    Chappie*

  • omitted

    You made a porno?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “He’s the hero nobody deserves … and nobody wants. Seriously, just go away.”

  • Dog food?

  • omitted

    Hey, none of those are dirty innuendos!

  • Daniel T

    Is there like an N and E in Jay’s beard?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Another dick joke, I see.

  • Michael Collins

    Looks like that’s what they got, what’s the problem?

  • Someone noticed a 3 in Mike’s beard.

  • Gib

    Glad to see the Short Circuit 2 reference. Loved that movie. J5!

    On a side note, the gradual decline of Blomkamp’s films makes me very worried about Alien 5-especially considering Alien Resurrection wasn’t exactly cinematic gold.

  • Like Icare

    Ah ja! Schnappi, das kleine Krokodil. Er war aus Afrika auch.
    Ein Zufall? Ich glaube NICHT!

  • Michael Collins

    Does this mean confirmed for Half Life 3 ?

  • I find it baffling that Chappie is so similar to Short Circuit 2. It’s like someone had a brilliant idea of a gritty reboot. They even mirrored it to the point where he’s created by what looks like a scientist of Indian descent. Portrayed in a less racist way, though.

  • jmt

    Were you one of the heroes created by an idyllic agrarian society that abandoned a blind girl in a forest filled with monsters?

  • joey

    The end of district 9 turned into a fuking walt disney movie… I don’T like this director, get someone useful for new the aliens envisioned by corporate america…

  • Like Icare

    Indeed. Only with more preaching.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Dry lips?

  • Michael Collins

    And District 9 was about cat food, is blompkamp confused?

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Fact: Star Wars: The Phantom Menace made $431,000,000 in North America alone.

  • Gib

    But “Chappie” is such a brilliant, original name for an action sci-fi film. Every time a director does something creatively unexpected like this, its automatically brilliant, on par with Da Vinci.

    Meh, sometimes it works, like GotG having old rock n roll songs. Other times, its just…..dreck

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    The 3D re-release puts that up to $474.5M.

    “WHAT A VALUE!”

  • Lt Hurwitz

    “I put a price of 20,000 Dick-hram on their heads” – omitted

  • Alex Lee

    Everything confirms Half Life 3. It’s the most confirm-iest rumor ever.

  • Like Icare

    That’s a really lazy name for an alien race.
    Couldn’t they’ve come up with something like “Osesssos”…

    You know… like a drunk person with their mouth full of snacks trying to say “obsessive”…

  • Dicks on the walls did that. This is something deeper.

  • Sully

    Heists confirmed for Tuesday, thus Half Life 3 confirmed.

  • Sully

    Nothing’s deeper than dicks. Ask any prison bitch.

  • Like Icare

    We have top men working on it right now.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    If you adjust it for inflation its $749,000,000.

  • omitted

    *fellatio

  • omitted

    Tops! Where?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “No mention of Die Antwoord in the review.”

    Um …

    http://youtu.be/MMjo5kNS780?t=11m3s

    You were saying?

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Sure, omitted. I am on kind of a dry streak.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “All in all you’re just another [dick on] the wall.”

    Wow, Chappie is deep!

  • Derek Cottle

    Seems that Chappie has chapped almost every film critic’s ass.

  • When their phones started “blowing up” I expected some subtle jab at the comments section of this fine webzone. Oh well.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Dry streak? You don’t wanna get chappied, do ya?

    Use lube.

  • Zach

    No “CRAPPiE’ puns. I’m impressed.

  • It crAPPEARS you are mistaken.

  • omitted

    I’m pretty sure the quote is “Use the Force, Luke”.

  • Sully

    We don’t need no education.”

    That was either a purposeful double negative… or incredibly dumb.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Die Antwood? No no that’s German, it means “The Antwood, The”

  • Like Icare

    I believe it’s called the “Manhole”.

  • Zach

    Must have missed it.

    I’m a little half in the bag myself.

  • Sully

    Don’t worry. The comments section is filled with them. Wear boots.

  • omitted

    They better be buff, or else…

  • Like Icare

    Or drugs… lots of that is just drugs speaking.

  • Jason Ross

    So disappointed to discover that HtitsB is a work of fiction

    The Great Lakes are completely covered in ice this year so the footage of them reaching the surface is fake.

  • K.L

    Suddenly I’m nervous about the new Alien movie.

    Or maybe the problem is that I wasn’t already nervous.

  • Sully

    Probably both… or more likely all throth.

  • Ogrot

    The gun is good! The penis is evil!

  • Hey, the Rotating Pebbles did it first. I think that song wanted to raise awareness of erectile dysfunction by means of bad grammar.

  • Palpatine

    Am I the only one thinks CHAPPiE is also similar to The Iron Giant?

  • Like Icare

    Yeah, but does he go into the world’s biggest bookstore to get megabytes and megabytes of inputs?

  • Sully

    Or…

    “Am I the only one that thinks CHAPPiE is also similar to insert any robot movie title here.”

  • Funny you should mention that. http://i.imgur.com/cx5yR3A.jpg

  • James Earl Jones

    For Jay.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “HtitsB”

    Ha! 🙂 Boobs.

  • GraphicsAndBeer

    Am I the only one that thinks CHAPPiE is also similar to Robot Jox? Did Chappie have a small angry Russian in it?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “What if she says no to me?”
    “Use the Force, Luke.”
    “But she’s my sister.”
    “Did I stutter?”

  • I’m sure there’s a penetration joke somewhere in there. Omitted will think of something.

    Moreover, nobody reads books now, they have other sources to learn from about the power of knowledge. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dJolYw8tnk

  • Like Icare

    If you type in 80085 into your calculator it spells “BOOBS”.
    If you type in 3234423 it spells “Ishtar”.

  • It’s a lot like Robo C.H.I.C.

  • Sully

    A mullet might as well be a cowboy hat. Just sayin’.

  • stryker1121

    Finally Anderson Cooper gets his SAG card. Yes I said SAG you bigoted fucks.

  • Like Icare

    Dick the walls with Sharlto Copley…

  • Sully

    “SAG”
    There’s a gay joke in there somewhere. Someone, get on it.

    NO, OMITTED!! NO!!!

  • Alex Lee

    We already have the Film Actors Guild.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOH9trJLedk

  • omitted

    No worries, I’m joining tOmy` in going to bed.

  • Isn’t that the same thing?

  • Like Icare

    He-Man is a role model.

  • omitted

    *buff guy

  • Prometheus…

  • fred

    Much like Mike, I too am sick of movies. I stopped going to the theater after Fury.

  • Like Icare

    Their grinding apps confirmed more than that.

    Speaking of which, remember that scene when Wolverine is grinding on Chappie’s face?
    Cymbalism?

  • younahmean

    What’s with the lame gay panic joke at the start of the video?

    Lazy.

  • Robby

    Aw yeah Jay saw all the dicks on the wall.

  • James Earl Jones

    So no theater since 1936?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    they know what pleases their community.

  • Sully

    They prefer the term “Artificial Person.”

  • Sully

    Raise awareness…”

    Pound Sign: BonerJokes

  • Sully

    Demographic chasing at its finest, you mean!

  • Sully

    Yeah, but does he hang out under bridges in LA?

  • Adzl33t

    Jay probably never watched Iron Giant

  • Sully

    He’s also never seen Three Amigos.
    His hack-fraudery knows no bounds.

  • Adzl33t

    Brad Bird is better than Neil Blomkamp

  • Adzl33t

    As long Neil doesn’t write, it could be ok

  • Adzl33t

    Iron Giant is better than Chappie, dont let Blomkamp remake it

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Does that even need to be said? 😛

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    What’s Prometheus?

  • Adzl33t

    This show doesn’t understand animation, so far they still have not reviewed any animated movie.

    ps ITS NOT A GENRE DWAYNE JOHNSON

  • Adzl33t

    I thought Chappie was ok

  • Welcome Back Otter

    They didn’t understand why there were dicks all over the walls? They never saw a Die Antwoord video?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Written and directed by Elaine May.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I don’t think he’s seen Superman 3 either.

  • Welcome Back Otter

    Whiplash took 12 bars to make!

  • Earth

    Come on guys, keep up. It’s “Confirmed for Jay”, not “Gay”.

    It’s almost as if you guys never read the comment section.

    Oh…

  • Welcome Back Otter

    Closed captioning for the hearing impaired.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    These are the Great Lakes in the alter-verse where King Arthur found the Holy Grail.

  • A prequel to Space cop with fire, “vultures”, black goo.. and Jay tied to a rock…

  • Sully

    You can’t trust someone with the name “Blomkamp.” Sounds like a fuckin’ 1950s movie villain name.

  • Anonymous Coward

    This is a bummer, I loved District 9 but Elysium was such a fucking let down. I was hoping he’d redeem himself with this, based on D9 I thought he’d take a unique approach to the whole “RoboCop” storyline but it sounds like it was just disappointingly cliched and confusing

  • Kenshiroh

    I’ve never heard of them and none of the Chappie commercials I’ve seen mentions them. (I only know it’s a “them” due to the pronouns used in other comments.)

  • Palpatine

    If it’s not a genre, what is it then?

  • i cant wait to buy one @.@…

  • RLMkeepitup

    So many plot holes it’s looking like swiss cheese

  • Palpatine

    Of course The Iron Giant is better than CHAPPiE, it had Vin Diesel as the voice of the Giant. Need I say more?

  • RLMkeepitup

    It’s almost cute how often Mike brings up Short Circuit in these discussions. I think in some small way we all miss the films of the 80s and 90s, that were entirely original, but also did not sacrifice charm for (artificial) grandness.

  • diehounderdoggen

    I remember seeing ads for Chappie months ago and thinking “Awww, it’s like a latter day Short Circuit!” But then I saw it was rated R and got horribly confused. Glad to see that was a justifiable response. Also why is Die Antwoord in this movie?

  • Hamish Smith

    i waited 3 weeks for a single movie review? what a waste of time it is being a patreon

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I suggest ‘Voyage of the Rock Aliens’ with Jermaine Jackson… and Michael Berryman.
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096402/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

  • Bubs

    He is Groot.

  • ModernDayMinstrel

    And they know how some of their community wants to please them.

  • Palpatine

    He is who he choose’s to be:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_Z0tbg6Phs

  • ModernDayMinstrel

    District 9 is the only Blomkamp film I’ve seen and it seems I’m going to keep it that way.

  • Bubs

    I don’t understand the hate for Elysium. It was a fairly forgettable movie, but it had a nice gritty little style to it. It was hardly as offensive to the senses as some of the other movies we see coming out of Hollywood these days.

    Meh, I still have faith that Blomkampfvmpf will come into his own some day. If not, porn is always looking for competent directors. Who’s up for District 69? Or Ely-semen? Or Fappie?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    it was for Omitted.

  • Bacchus

    This is a good example of why i never go into a movie without first reading/watching reviews. I might have been tempted to give Chappie a look. Not after seeing this. The movie that taught me that it’s never a good idea to go in cold? Prometheus.

  • Bubs

    Yeah I stopped thinking for myself YEARS ago. Now I just let other people tell me what my opinion should be.

  • netcrave

    For once I agree with hardly anything you guys said. Usually we have a very similar taste in movies.
    The scene in which Hugh Jackman threatens Dev Patel was weird, sure, but the other people there basically answer to him. Sigourney Weaver runs the company, but Dev Patel and Hugh Jackman run the other departments inside this company. Most people shy away from going against their boss. Also I bet everyone there deep down knows that he’s a crazy and violent thug. Not exactly the person anyone wants to mess with.
    The same thing explains why no one is with Hugh Jackman’s character, when he controls the big robot. Threatening and bullshitting everyone else in the company seemed to be what he did throughout the entire movie. Did he say the truth once? Who knows what he did to ensure there would be no witnesses.

    What Jay says about it being established, that the helmet transfers “souls” is obviously wrong, because Dev Patels character simply DIES because of the bullet wounds he suffered. He was barely alive when they got there, because bloodloss!
    What the helmet actually seemed to do, is to copy everything stored in ones brain. And yes, Mike is right, with the then available copy you could obviously install it on as many bots as you wanted to.

    Maybe this doesn’t count for you, but I thought the effects were awesome. Not once during the movie did I perceive Chappie as an effect. I could fully immerse myself. That is wonderful and should be the goal of any movie using such effects, Chappie succeeded!

    I didn’t watch Chappie on my phone, I was in a theater and all people in there laughed a lot and seemed to be sad during the right parts and all, so the movie seems to work for some people, at least. Maybe it’s more for a niche market and less suited for general audiences.

    There is more to say, but it’s too long already, so I will finally stop here!

  • Bacchus

    Not what i was advocating but ok…

  • netcrave

    To me the movie wasn’t confusing at all. The guys don’t seem to be all that much into tech/sci-fi after all.

  • Billy

    What’s with Mike’s giant red hands? Have they always been like this? Am I just now noticing??

    I couldn’t stop staring at them! And he kept touching them.

    WHAT’S WITH THOSE HANDS, MIKE?

  • Bubs

    Yeah they’ve always been like that. I didn’t notice either until someone pointed it out to me. I was in denial at the time: “Maybe he was just working with some blood-props and didn’t wash his hands real good.” Now I just think he’s beating [redacted] off-camera.

  • Billy

    Oh, crap. I was banking on it being a one-time thing related to the feature they’re working on.

    Shit. Now I’m an asshole.

    Sorry, Mike.

  • Wicked Ricky

    I did. He said I needed to rest my ass more.

    Why his opinion of farm animals mattered at the time, I don’t know.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Anderson Cooper only *wishes* his face looks that good in the future.

  • Wicked Ricky

    I approach it from how different critics view it. Jay and Mike didn’t like it, but it was why they didn’t. They can point out things about the movie that are interesting that can make me interested, even if they don’t recommend it. In this case, I’m not interested, and I never was anyway. But I’ve seen movies they didn’t like that I did, and sometimes the only review I relied on was theirs.

    Does that make any sense, or do I sound like an escaped prisoner?

  • its called bleach

    hay remember when everyone liked boyhood (including me) but they didnt

  • Bacchus

    Sure, i think i catch your drift. That critics can inform your decision to go see a film if they raise interesting points about it, and they don’t necessarily have to give it a ‘thumbs up’ to make you go see it.

    That’s perfectly fine.

    It’s just that I’m on a budget so I really can’t mess about when it comes to nights out/movies etc. I have to be selective. Having a range of available opinions helps me to minimise the risk of disappointment.

    I’m more likely to be adventurous when I’m viewing stuff on demand at home.

    I mentioned Prometheus because that’s one where i decided to try and get back some of that ‘movie magic’ and so I read NOTHING about it beforehand and went in cold. In effect I was trusting on the rep of the director and the caliber of the actors. I only succeeded in pissing off myself and my party, so I won’t be doing that again.

    And yeah, you sound perfectly reasonable, although I’ve been up for nearly 24 hours so my endorsement probably isn’t worth much 🙂

  • Sully

    Nope.

    I’m not saying your name, btw… I’m disagreeing with you.

  • array528

    ONLY 1 movie reviewed. You HACK-FRAUDs are lagging. Getting fat and lazy on that PATREON $$$…

  • quick_moranis

    I had so much hope for Blomkamp to be this fresh, original concept creating sci-fi director because of District 9, but then he releases two poorly scripted shit films in a row and his next film is Alien fucking 5. Well, hopefully Duncan Jones keeps putting out good stuff. I’m not a huge fan of Source Code, but at least it’s good.

  • Wicked Ricky

    How else do they fix their house?

  • Billy

    Love that an alcohol rehab clinic advertise here.

  • Guest

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I get ads for mormon.org.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Which upcoming movie do you think will re-ignite Mike’s love of cinema? ‘Get Hard’? “The Gunman’? ‘Divergent: Rise of the Cobra Surfer’? Something else?

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    (Pa Kent was right!)

  • its called bleach

    i think that the sudden rise from the ocean (which is definitely a thing that really happened, along with watching the movie on their phone) gave them ocean dumbness so that they missed these obvious answers to their questions. while im here ill type out my opinion on neil blonkampp. district 9 was okay for me but i didnt ejaculate all over myself like i do during every other movie i see or everything i do. i liked elysium because even though it sort of had a cliche story it had some neat concepts and that burial song that goes hard. i prolly wont see this because it looks like hugh jackman with a dumb haircut versus two people who look like my roommates.

  • Popo Bawa

    I don’t get the haters. Once again I sit down to experience another carefully crafted Blumpkin project and leave refreshed. That’s the stuff!

  • Shane O’Shaughnessy

    Good review, guys. I still kind of want to see it though, if just for the mullet. Any chance of a “Fifty Shades of Grey” review?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Next up for Duncan Jones: WarCraft. I’m actually hoping the best for that one, but video game movies have an awful track record.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    A style, a way to present the film. Would you say The Iron Giant, Frozen, Waking Life and Persepolis all are in the same genre? They are all animated.

    You can have action-adventure movie done in animation, or a musical, or a western. The only limitation is that, for better or worse, most adults are not interested in an animation movie aimed at adults. They might see an “all-ages” comedy by Pixar or Dreamworks, but that’s about it.

    If animation is a genre, then black and white is a genre, or 3D, or talkies vs silent genre. What about traditional 2D animation vs CG animation?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I wish they just reviewed Short Circuit and Short Circuit 2, not because of my love or hate for Chappie, but because RLM seems to care more about older movies than newer ones.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    How else do you keep Jay’s hair in such fabulous shape?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I already reviewed it, sort of. I took a bullet for everyone here and saw it.

  • dejectedchuckle

    Almost went to see Chappie the other day but decided to see Kingsman last minute. Fun times. Kingsman was good although you wouldn’t know that from the trailers.

    Speaking of trailers, is anyone else not excited about Avengers 2: Angst Boogaloo? I just cannot care. I can pretty much picture what that movie is going to be like if I close my eyes after these trailers. Not that I know exactly what’s going to happen but the trailers pretty clearly outline what the big plot is and Marvel talking about Avengers parts eight and twelve–you can kind of figure the ending isn’t going to be super definitive about some stuff. Fill in that snappy but sometimes hollow Whedon dialogue, splosions, James Spader’s sex voice. I dunno. Fuck movies.

    Anyway, tired of their boyhood meme (you’d think a bunch of hack frauds who’ve made movies themselves would be able to appreciate not only the ability of a director to maintain the same core cast for shoots over a decade+ but the ability of those actors to maintain a continuity in their characters and general performance over the long breaks in between shoots) so I’m happy it seems to be over now since the movie didn’t win what the hype said it would.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Trey Parker and Matt Stone made it 11 years ago.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    So this factory where the gangster had to go, the one with the dicks on the wall, was it the old bean factory?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Chap stick?

  • dejectedchuckle

    I don’t know. Have you seen Anderson Cooper? The man’s aging really gracefully as is.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    so say we all.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    he said that b4 the pre rec came out so technically he was wrong.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    you do know the advertising is based on your browsing history.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    both.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    someone does. we are always watched. or is that just me?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    patricia arquette.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    The Pussys, Dicks and Arseholes speach is to this day the most logical explanation for the current political epoc…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    a Greek mythological figure? he stole fire… i’ve got heaps of it if he wants more.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    be afraid.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Watching this was like watching a RLM funeral, but I can’t press X to pay respects for 23 whole minutes.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    thats true the guy shoots a pretty picture. someone dig up Geiger. i cant reanimate his corpse then he can keep an eye on the whole thing.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    the heat from the farts melted the ice temporarily.

  • dejectedchuckle

    cirrhosis

  • Andrew Thompson.

    that was the jab. and the confirmed for gay bit.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    More BotW? I’m in.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    No, this is the factory in the future but also the past that makes dildos.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i felt Mikes pain when he said he was sick of movies.

  • Steven Gibbs

    Wolverine controls a giant fighting robot?? Didn’t this movie already come out???? Well at least this movie had spikes in it

  • dejectedchuckle

    A gutsy but meek porn star scientist creates the worlds first sentient vibrator, Chafie. A meaner and mulletier porn star scientist attempts to destroy Chafie with his own creation that’s basically ED209 but with fucksaws attached to his body instead of guns.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Me too.

  • dejectedchuckle

    The old bean factory has a different set of genitalia spray painted on the walls.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    When’s the next Boyhood highlight?

  • acrosticmcgee

    What?

  • acrosticmcgee

    For a gay albino zombie.

  • acrosticmcgee

    Whiplash was terrible! Terrible. It was ‘The Red Shoes’ of people banging things together.

    ‘He’s an utter bastard in every way but he can get away with it because… HE’S THE WORLD’S GREATEST JAZZ TEACHER!’.

  • acrosticmcgee

    Put a cork in it, ass bandit.

  • acrosticmcgee

    Do you think Mike looked more or less suicidal than normal in this episode?

  • Alex Lee

    I would agree with Elysium’s props and environment for act one. Then the quality starts to decrease with the drama parts. By act three, the grit goes away because they’re in the Space Station with futuristic laser guns.

    And I would have been okay with all of it if it weren’t for that shaky camera and bizarre out of focus shots.

  • Alex Lee

    At the manhole?

  • tOmy`

    Furious 7.

    Nobrainer.

  • tOmy`

    Or Garden State.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    That would be “The Amazing Ant-Man 3: Guardians of Extinction” slated to release winter 2033.

  • tOmy`

    I think they would be believable as members of the Black Lodge. I am not sure whether they can act on some reasonable level, but they DO know how to sell creepy.

  • tOmy`

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Uee_mcxvrw

    You are welcome. Please, don’t sue me.

  • tOmy`

    Agree with Avengers. I really enjoyed the first movie and I simply don’t give a flying fuck about the next one.

    Even the trailer made me feel like: “Meh.”

  • I enjoyed District Nine and appreciate that there is a branch of Science Fiction that will always be a platform for social commentary. But I am tired of being passively-aggressively lectured by aliens and robots. By all means rip my face off, orally impregnate me with your offspring, drink my brain like a milkshake if you must. But please, if your far-fetched plight must be an allegory for a real world situation, then at least be subtle about it.

    I would like restate here the true purpose of pure cinematic Sci-fi, which is to simulate the devastating effects of hard psychedelic drugs upon the frail human psyche.

    I want to see a return to the shoestring indie sic-fi of the 1970s where the last twenty minutes of a film would be an extreme close up shot of a slowly-rotating overexposed photograph, accompanied by the dissonant sound of thunder slowed down a hundred times and then fed through a series of echo machines. If you don’t leave the theatre wondering if the main characters met God at the end (not in Star Trek V sense) then the movie has failed.

  • tOmy`

    To be honest: District’s social commentary became a bit too much second time around. The first time I did not mind that much and liked the movie. But then it just hit me how obvious it is.

  • tOmy`

    I think they have a special Omie-trust-fund just for that.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    tuesday, right after the Plinkett review.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Would The One I Love be a type of Sci-Fi that you’d be interested in? Granted, it’s the Duplass brothers, which are a mixed bag around here, but the commentary is rather subtle and it’s a strange concept without aliens or robots.

    Sorry, though, there’s no spinning photograph at the end.

  • tOmy`

    New Plinkett?

    Wooohoooo!

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    I read in an interview the dicks were drawn by Die Antwoord. It works thematically because the movie feels like a dick slap.

  • tOmy`

    Good news, everyone! Speaking of sci-fi, here is the full sky-driving scene (extended first look) from the upcoming masterpiece: Furious 7.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDxQPRnIMdA&t=77

    #GetHyped

  • tOmy`

    Did you enjoy the pain?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    yeah, no thanks. i’m saving all my hate for the Point Break remake.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Gangstas are sympathetic. Because, Rap. Old men, sheesh!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Because, Not. There wasn’t any social commentary in DISTRICT 9. There was silly, derivative sci-fi with a coat of “Apartheid” splashed on it.

    Did anyone, anywhere learn anything about the foul history of South Africa from DISTRICT 9? Gawd help us.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    its going to be grate….

  • Andrew Thompson.

    SHHHHHH Ma Giffin.
    relax. it was a South African Movie…
    would you hold bollywood or hong kong to Hollywoulds lack of standards?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Don’t give me your technicality. Nobody counts Pre-Rec. I said there’d be HitB CHAPPIE, and there was.

    Kneel before Zod!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Snuchie Boochies. HEHEHEHEH!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    They’ll recommend AVENGERS 2: SUPERHERO BOOGALOO (with more robots). It’ll be as confused and messy as CHAPPIE, but whatever. Because, Marvel.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    yeah… but you know heroin addicts say the same thing….

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Oh? True? Now I’m sad. Duncan!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Ba-dum-tsh!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Their BOYHOOD review was the first time I’d ever completely agreed with them on anything.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    if its old warcraft. thats just Lord of the Rings. if its online warcraft…. all i can hope is Leroy Jenkins is a character.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You sound like a person who has taken charge of his own faculties.

    I’ll allow it.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    or The Wire.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You and me, bub.

  • tOmy`

    Oh my god, that is actually happening?

    Well, fingers crossed.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    IRON GIANT, though, is better than most things. Including, but not limited to…ROBOCOP, SHORT CIRCUIT, WALL-E, and FLASHDANCE.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    The definition of the word “genre” has been confused through misuse.

    Animation is a genre. Painting is a genre. Sculpture is a genre. Animation for adults is part of the animation genre.
    Action-adventure is not a genre. It is a type. Film is the genre.
    There is no such thing as a “Genre Film” as a catch-all for sci-fi-fantasy and comic book films.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Racist!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Am I the only one who things CHAPPIE is a remake of PINOCCHIO?

    Because, Rap turns you into an Ass.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    But, there are sharks in Lake Michigan.

    I’ll allow it.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    both.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Fa, la-la-la, la. La. La-la. La.

  • acrosticmcgee

    Jay looked as chipper as ever. I suppose, if Mike dies, Jay has dibs on eating his soft, sweet flesh first.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Both.

  • Notme

    I actually care less about Avengers 2 the more I hear it talked about. I was excited for the first, saw it eagerly, and enjoyed it. That would have carried over to the second. But all the over-hype about the slate of future movies and what’s setting up who and which characters are crossing over between franchises …

    It just makes Avengers 2 seem like it’s too manufactured instead the well-planned film the first one was. Maybe they can get me back but step 1 would be not hearing about it for a few months.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    thats the answer on my card. you win!… one up vote!

  • tOmy`

    Guys, a little technical question: I have a plan for a little music montage made up from RLM content, but my editing skills died out somewhere back in 20*cough**cough*. So I wanna know what is the best way to record (or get) youtube footage and possibly some easily accessible software for editing movies – possibly something less “pro” than Vegas, as I don’t feel like pirating expensive software (again).

  • Andrew Thompson.

    just use the built in video editor. finding a good screen cap app is harder. i would love some good new ones.

  • tOmy`

    Well, the only one I ever used was Fraps obviously, because we used to make gaming movies – but I have no clue how well it works with capturing actual videos.

    Also, it was a REALLY old Fraps version – cca 2005?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i’m more a download and hack the crap out of it. rather than a screen cap guy.
    ask Taco.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i used to use CamStudio. but its more virus than app now.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    if Jay dies Mike will have to fight Omitted for the corpse.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    But aren’t film, animation, painting, and sculpture mediums, and not genres?

    Painting is a medium. The inks used are types (Oils, watercolors, etc.). Same with sculpture having clay or stone as types of materials to work with.

    Movie mediums are animation, live action, stop motion, and computer animation. You could also add 3D as a potential medium.

    Action and sci-fi films are a genre because they are a type of movie that can be made using the mediums provided above. Neon Genesis Evangelion is a sci-fi Anime. The Matrix is a Sci-Fi live action film.

  • NotRickBerman

    If you have a brain, you’re over qualified to watch a “Furious” movie.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I’ve used Free Studio because it contains converters, recorders, and editors. It’s all self-contained, simple to use, and works for multiple formats.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    now that we know Omitted is safe, i must admit and apologise to Tapey’s lovely partner.
    I thought the Disqustapo had taken Omitted to a work camp to make him make comments for Kim Jong Dill….

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Damn it! fine i’ll just play Need for Speed: Most Wanted again then…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    checking that right now…
    edit: Looks good! *clicks Download…..

  • tOmy`

    Thank you, will give it a go!

    Working fine with audio tracks?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    You mean like Youtube to mp3? Yeah.

    But it has a video and audio editor, though I’ve only used it for Skype recording/editing.

  • omitted

    I’m a necrophiliac like that.

  • omitted

    Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    all this Tech talk is to much! i’m tech aroused. oh, yeah lets install a MIDI port, oh yeah firewire!., JACK ME IN!!!!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i am the Triple dead? is that why you love me!?

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    In the spirit of Domo’s recomendation, if you want a more serious approach on audio without spending any money, try Reaper. It’s a free mixing and editing audio program, of course you could collaborate and buy the full license, but the standard license is pretty damn good. I don’t know if that’s the kind of editing you want, but there’s the option.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i know what you said but i chose to read that as “Busted Cock.”

  • omitted

    “You are the One who was. You are the One who is. And you are the One who will be.”

  • tOmy`

    To put it simply: I need to sync up RLM footage with an audio track (song). So basically all I need is a software allowing me to have two tracks – video and audio (from different sources).

    No need for any special visual effects or pr0 transitions, just edit the footage to the beat.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Zathras does not understand… but that is our lot, we blame Andrew. Zathuras told us so…

  • tOmy`

    I am pretty well “eqiupped” for audio mixing (just audio).

    I have Ableton Live (including native instruments and effects packs), Virtual DJ (for fun) and Acoustica Mixcraft (for quick sound editing).

    It’s really just to fuck around and learn some basics, or in case of Ableton just to see how far you can push music software. It makes me hard, seriously.

  • omitted

    We gays have our ways.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Windows movie maker will do it after some trial and error.
    this is 5 movies and about 12 hours of Footage.
    https://plus.google.com/u/0/114089192088360284355/posts/bUas6DMyDQg?pid=6113779123886509394&oid=114089192088360284355

  • tOmy`

    I used to have Windows Movie Maker, but Win 8 don’t have it by default and I am a lazy asshole to download it – basically, that is the reason why I asked – if there is something better, simple and cool, then I don’t need to get an official Windows Movie Maker.

    The bigger issue being the “recording” software – I know I can always just straight out steal the whole youtube video, cut it and edit it, but I was hoping for something that will allow me to record precisely the thing I want without fucking around.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    recording is still stealing…. sorry.

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    “How far you can push music software.” You see, I was once a kid that kept trying to run Pro Tools on a regular PC. Oh, how innocent I was those days.

    Anyway, good luck with the montage.

  • omitted

    You’re on the short bus list.

  • tOmy`

    Thanks, with a massive amount of luck, dedication and actual free time, I may create a teaser trailer and then spend next 8 days celebrating in a strip club.

    Then it’s off to a kickstarter.

  • tOmy`

    I wouldn’t download a car tho. So there is that.

    If I had a driver’s license tho, I totally would.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    I had Pro Tools, Adobe After Effects and Avid. on one PC. you cant multi task but it runs….
    overclocked and with extra RAM….

  • Sully

    He does have mule ears, so… I’ll allow it.

  • Sully

    *Specist

  • omitted

    With me already getting into Domo’s head and this, perhaps soon I can outsource posting obscenities to you guys in order to focus on my true goal: marrying Emma Stone Capturing Jay! Definitely that one.

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    Despite working with audio, I’m a PC guy. The thing is, I was trying to run Pro Tools with a 1.70ghz processor.

  • omitted

    It would be nice to get other couples in here. Jay and I sometimes feel a bit singled out.

  • tOmy`

    I was kinda thinking about getting the Ableton Push (hardware with just shitload of buttons) just to see how crazy it can really get. Now I am no DJ / producer (I did some sampling for friends DJ friends back in the day, but that’s about it), but when I saw what Ableton is capable of (including having 8000000 different settings and effects just for the Marshall combos reproduction) I realized: Holy shit. Now you don’t have any stupid excuse like you don’t play piano properly or whatever.

    Just considering how many studios / bands / producers actually use this piece of sofwtare to create anything they wish is just mesmerizing.

  • tOmy`

    I let you know when I catch my next boyfriend / girlfriend.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    My husband would probably make a Disqus account when you and Jay become an official couple.

    So basically when Hell freezes over. So there’s that.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    dont think your in my head!!! i been thinking dirty before you knew you were gay.

  • omitted

    Why not both?

  • tOmy`

    Valentine’s can get pretty expensive.

  • omitted

    That is why you’re such a perfect partner in crime corrupting these innocent minds.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    best i got out of the mother of my child was getting her to watch “instant Creepy BoyHood” on the streamathon. she got into it and bagged the movie in a way that made me proud.
    last weekend i was commenting here and she asked what i was doing. i explained. and she said…
    “you know you’re all nerds?”
    i had no way to argue with her logic….

  • omitted

    Hell, the next one is over 11 months away. Use them, abuse them, lose them.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    to soon…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    no one is innocent here…..

  • omitted

    “No one here is exactly what he appears.”

  • Andrew Thompson.

    except you and me.

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    I have no experience with Ableton in general, but I heard a lot of good opinions from people who I respect. And now that I want to learn more about electronic music I think I’ll give this one a shot. Just to mess around. Do you use it on a Mac or PC?

  • omitted

    She’s (half-)Vulcan?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    thats not bad for a quad core….

  • Andrew Thompson.

    nagh vanilla christian…. shame…

  • omitted

    Tru dat. One-track minds…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    some might say…. one vision….

    http://youtu.be/kvpsEKSNkkA

  • andypants1989

    What are your opinions on the best robot movies?

    Bladerunner and the first two terminator films would have to make it into the top ten. What else? Wall-E? Robocop? West-world?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    “I prometheus you. ALIEN is the film I’ve been imitating working for my entire career.”

    -The Director of DISTRICT 9

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    *snow crabs*
    #Delicious

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You had a cameo this episode.

  • andypants1989

    Kingsman had some surprisingly great moments, the Colin Firth in the church scene was like something out of a good Tarrantino movie, but then there were also some awful moments, like the whole buttsex thing at the end.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    That was Shatner, and he. Said. It…like this.

  • andypants1989

    I’ll still see it, I’m yet to feel ripped off by a marvel film. They always deliver enough, even when they aren’t amazing.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I always loved Flight of the Navigator as a kid. I think the spaceship is an alien, but back then I always thought the ship was an alien robot. I don’t think the film is the best or anything, but I certainly thought it was a great kid’s film.

    Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey is another one I liked, and even more as an adult, which has evil android doubles in the film.

    Oh! And Moon. GERTY was wonderful and was one of the rare times I rooted for an AI character.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Fact: Ghosts watch you masturbate.

    Well, um, Not Fact.

  • omitted

    That cough sounds really ominous. Do you want me to give you a complete physical like the one I gave Tapey last night?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Now I’m really intrigued to see Kingsman. Thanks!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Fact: No one knows who they are.

    Well, um, Not Fact.

  • omitted

    Because of Tarantino-esque or the buttsex?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    don’tbealinktPURPLERAIN…don’tbealinktoPURPLERAIN…don’tbealinktoPURPLERAIN…don’t

    Whew.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I say ‘both’ in the most sincerest terms possible.

    Colin Firth is simply breathtaking. Buttsex will not change my mind..

  • omitted

    *Filth

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Genre: a class or category of artistic endeavor having a particular form, content, technique, or the like

    There is no difference in technique between action, sci-fi, and, oh, I dunno, rom-com movies.

    Medium is the “tool.”

    It’s like the Genre of Photography. Film is a tool. Black and white is a type. Color is a type.

    Animation is distinctly different in technique than Live-Action.

    It’s all very muddled, but it was drummed into my head in college. Of course, I wasn’t a very good student, so maybe I’ve got it all fyucked up.

    But the expression “a Genre film” pisses me off because that’s fyucking meaningless. It’s like ” a wax crayon.”

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    And I thought I was clever when I learned how to use Audacity.
    Sheesh.

  • Like Icare

    Even Hulks? And Thors? And Captain America 1? And Iron Men 2 and 3?

    As for this upcoming Iron Man movie with other characters in it too… I have a nagging feeling that they are going for the Empire Strikes Back of the series.
    A darker movie, where secrets are revealed, future foretold, loyalties questioned, robots disassembled, rocks lifted with the power of mind…

    So, either everyone will start gushing about it how “GREAT!” it is soon after and many poor children will bare name of “Avengers: More Avengers” until they can legally change it to “Frank” and “Lucile” – OR it will suck donkey balls, OOOOR it will be, the most likely, resoundingly “meh”.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    What if Firth were involved in Tarantino-esque buttsex?

    See, I’m thinking, no matter how breath-taking, that would certainly change, um, something.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    No chance of that. The hype has barely even begun for that.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    If upvotes were jelly beans, you just left me with only licorice.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Me three.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Did you just say you wanted to blow my crock?
    That makes no sense!

  • Earth

    So many movies about AI this year. Chappie, Avengers and Ex Machina.

    I recommend Ex Machina. Good small movie about why AI probably isn’t that good of an idea.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    i would agree that’s it’s muddled, and I don’t think either of us are wrong, but I do believe genres are incredibly different from each other because of the tropes/stereotypes used to create the final product.

    It’s important to me to know if a film is more like a rom-com or an action film so I know what to expect going into the screening. I remember going with friends to see The Mexican which was marketed as a rom-com, but was more of an adventure film with sprinklings of romance in it. The movie wasn’t bad, but my friends were pissed because they wanted a romcom. It may not be important to you, and that’s why you deem it meaningless, but having a marker to know what type of film I’m seeing is important to me.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Me infinity.

    No backsies!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Nope! Just the sight of Colin Firth can potentially impregnate me, regardless of situation.

  • Like Icare

    I have a feeling that he is a person of sensitive skin who forgoes wearing gloves in winter of when washing dishes and/or abhors hand creams and lotions for some reason.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbLjOxlGYqA

    And while on the subject…
    Why can’t they make a hand cream for men, with a manly smell, like gun oil or barbeque with hint of whiskey and pine?
    I’m looking at you Nivea, you antisemitic racist Nazi fucks!

  • tOmy`

    Laptop (Win) – I used to run it on a simple gaming laptop, intel core duo, with some reasonable amount of RAM (sorry, forgot). It was lagging a bit when you wanted to really fuck around with keyboard as a midi piano – most of the native instruments are “playable” on keyboard – it had some issues, but nothing terrible.

    Now I am using a brand new, mid-scale gaming laptop (quad core) and so far, it seems like it runs like a charm (didn’t play around with it properly yet.)

    But I think, generally, it seems to work just fine on everything. As I said, there may be some delays with the “real time” work, but since it’s not exactly DJing software, but production / sampling / mixing, it should be ok.

  • tOmy`

    And Furious 7. But the AI part is more of a “how the script was done”, rather than actual plot of the movie.

  • tOmy`

    Dude! What if Jay heard this?!

    Manners, man, manners! This is how you fuck up relationships. Trust me. Last time I accidentally showed my murder room to my ex in advance… well, she became my ex.

    I still track her cellphone tho. Some people think they are safe in El Salvador…

  • tOmy`

    You know, after some recent discussions, I am really wondering if and when the cops come.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Short Circut! and adding 1989 dosent help. your still my youger brother inlaw.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    13 minutes to midnight. virus warnings for Domo’s recommended vid editor. a clean webpage would be nice?….

    my torrent downloader said not to use it.

  • tOmy`
  • tOmy`

    Trusting your AV? So 90s.

  • tOmy`

    Hey! We ain’t no nerds.

    Now back to discussing music studio software, cars and games.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    That’s all fine, but you’re still talking types of a genre, not genres of a type.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    nope! trusting my Torrent Downloader.
    if a machine made to steal thing says “hey dude people want to steel your shit!” i usually listen.

  • tOmy`

    Is your main character dead?!

    Lawyered.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Shucks!

    I wanted to congratulate whoever was gonna be Sexth.

  • tOmy`

    That is exactly how Skynet would treat you. Believe in Skynet. Don’t question Skynet. Trust Skynet.

    And before you realize it, fucking robots and nuclear holocaust.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You mean the stork has nothing to do with it?
    It’s all been lies?

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Andrew Thompson.

    OOOOOOH YEAAAA! bring it! did i mention i live well beyond any blast zones…

  • omitted

    Me whore.

    Take that, Domo!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Tuesday… just after the new Plinkett review.

  • tOmy`

    Just because there is nothing to nuke in Australia, it does not mean that Skynet won’t go for you as well.

  • tOmy`

    There is a new Tuesday?

    Wooohooo!

  • tOmy`

    I was personally waiting for furious seventh.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    nothing to nuke…. other than all the southern hemisphere tracking repeaters for US satellites!!
    Pine Gap is a thing!

  • omitted

    Or Wisconsin.

  • tOmy`

    And that sailing boat slash oyster that you try to sell as “Opera”.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    both… same thing?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    dont start that. we hate sydney down here in the true south.

  • tOmy`

    Look at me, knowing all that weird trivia about other countries. Now tell me something about Czech Rep without using Bing.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i was killed by a lawyer once….

  • Bubs

    They invented Czeckers. King me!

  • tOmy`

    We did invent the word “robot” tho. A bit too much on topic for my taste, but it’s something to be proud of.

  • omitted

    *hobot

  • Andrew Thompson.

    You had willing SS Battalions. after the war Russia raped you… for AGES.
    now its racist to call you czechoslovakia?…. other than that its all banking jokes about checks… sorry. that is truly a no google all i have in my head.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I think now we’re just gonna argue semantics if the conversation keeps going.

    I bid you adieu.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Karel Čapek!!!! o shit how could i forget RUR!!!!!
    my bad.
    EDIT: i dis google the scpelling. i thought it was Chapek.

  • Bubs

    Futurama. Their portrayal of robots as equals is a real leap forward for equality for robosexuals.

    It’d be nice if us Sci-Fi nerds could get a serious robot movie that didn’t have explosions. Isaac Asimov is rolling in his stasis chamber.

  • tOmy`

    I don’t think it’s racist – people from here just mind it, as a laughably bad excuse to showcase how “Americans are dumb idiots who don’t know shit about world”. Most people claiming it here (and basing this presumption on the fact that Americans don’t know a history of some 2nd grade country) are exactly the same people that won’t be able to point to NYC on the map. So fock em.

    Why do we “hate” it is that we just make fun of Slovakia constantly, so somewhat connecting us to them is perceived as a joke-ish insult. I think it is really hard to insult a thinking Czech person – we just laugh about everything. The closest you can come (from my point of view) is calling us “commie rats”.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    stop talking about Beyonce like that.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Krtek!

  • omitted

    C’mon, I know you can list at least five Czech porn stars off the top of your head.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    when i was a kid we had a rhyme.
    “titel-tatle commie rat how i wonder what your at?
    if i find your beneath my bed, the red you’ll see is the blood you bled.”
    good bed time fun….

  • Andrew Thompson.

    the one with the tits, big dick. MOAR tits, i like it in the butt…. damn i need one more….

  • tOmy`

    I recently found out that one of my ex-classmates is doing a pissing porn.

    She can be your fifth if you want.

  • Like Icare

    Bluebeard Ex Machina is a good AI movie about as much as The Hands of Orlac is a good movie about wonders of organ transplantation.
    They are both barely loosely connected to the topic they are supposedly about and both make anyone with any notion of the subject roll their eyes, shake their heads or laugh.
    And it is generally how all those “beware of science” movies go.

    IMHO, if someone wants to watch a movie about AI and its interaction with ordinary humans they should watch Rain Man.
    Cause that’s pretty much probably the only kind of AI we will produce before going all Ghost in the Shell and erasing the line between man and machine and AI and consciousness.
    Not that GITS is about AI. It’s about robots and cyborgs acting as humans blurring the line between the present idea of “a human being” and “a machine”.

    But if we ever manage to create AI it will be custom built for very specific tasks with all the higher intelligence of an autistic human.
    Very good at utilizing newest scientific information or running repetitive tests in order to solidify existing science – but fuck all terrible at abstract thought.
    It might figure out how to write comedy, but it will never get the jokes.

    Beyond that… it would probably be just another human mind connected to the wast amounts of information and computational capabilities.
    I.e. That guy at the party who knows “everything” but whose major advancement for human race is adding fruit to the existing cupcake recipes. If that.

    The ones that work, that is.
    Others will simply come out as catatonic or as a box of “whoa” – constantly amazed by its sensory inputs.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    send me a link… i like the occasional gold…

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Nicely played, as that’s what we have been doing all along.

    I bid you a buck and a half.

  • tOmy`

    I am not fucking touching that link again. It was terrible.

    Her stagename is Nicole Vice

  • Andrew Thompson.

    one minute its all happy comment time. then i dont know how it happens… now its Torrents and Pissing Porn…..
    i would blame Andrew, but he never listens to me.

  • omitted

    You and Tapey have become such worrywarts lately. Embrace the madness!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    its like someone says dont push the BIG RED BUTTON!
    i made a literal BRB, on it was a sticker saying not to push the button.it was amasing how many people pushed the button.
    Especially considering it was wired to put 5,000 volts DC through the user. tasering people is only a crime if the dont do it to themselves.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    dude! reallly!? your telling me to embrace the madness. the only reason i worry is that your father and i… i mean me and tapey want the best for you!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    truthfully i mentioned torrents and asked for the link to pissy porn.
    whos mad now Ommie!
    Edit: and mentioned my BRB Tasering machine.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i have to dooooo sleepy thing. love you commentzers….
    xoxo

  • tOmy`

    I am fairly new to this, so I still have my doubts about how are we being perceived upon turning a comment section about a movie into a chat about pissing porn and necrophilia.

  • tOmy`

    <3

  • omitted

    You’re certifiable, Andrew.

  • omitted

    Don’t let the bed bugs bite. That’s my job!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Apropos of bupkiss, I have a new favo(u)rite comedian…Jim Jefferies.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    now i can rest properly…

  • LM
  • Sully

    Good, cause Emma Stone is spoken for.

  • omitted

    Why don’t you just scamper back to your missus and pups.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    relax! they only ban me…. and Stupid Wizard that one time he wont talk about….

  • omitted

    Hey, I thought you were asleep!
    *hides the dildo*

  • Caustic Vapors

    I love the Peanuts-like piano. Chappie blew.

  • goolump

    Hey Mike, it sure doesn’t seem like you enjoy doing Half in the Bag any more, and I don’t think it’s ALL an act. Are you going to be ending this show soon?

  • omitted

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
    Unless that means only Quick Cuts from now on.

  • Sully

    She’s down with it, so you can frolic back to Jealousyville.

  • omitted

    *Jaylousyville

  • omitted

    *moron

  • echto

    They didnt mention Die Antwoord. They talked about their characters.

  • echto

    They talk about their characters in the movie, they dont mention the actual band.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Confirmed for Gridr?

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Especially if you download Tammy.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    A+ for the wordplay.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Did you watch Harry Knowles’s amazing show on AINTCN.corn yet, Gryce?

  • echto

    Ah I see. They flashed the album in editing. I meant in the actual review, but this puts the question of if they know about them to rest. Although they may not have known about them while doing the discussion.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Hot Russian ladies looking to marry.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Does The Happening cross over into so bad it’s good territory? I think it might, but it’s also so annoying.

  • Percy Gryce

    Is he the guy who wanted people to give him 100 grand?

  • Blue

    I remember when Reddit was circljerking over the director admitting Elysium was a let down. That it showed the director was humble and that he could fix his mistakes. Then this turd comes out. Now means the guy has only had ONE good film, and two turds. Makes me less enthusiastic for him taking on the Alien franchise. There is no excuse for how bad this film was.

  • Anonymous Coward

    Wait a minute, I just realized, what happened to the book full of DVDs? Way to forget your contrived polt-device you hack-frauds

  • Blue

    Im a creeeeep. IM UH WEEEEIRDDDDDO. HUR DUR BELONG HURRR. I DONT BLEONG HURR. OH OHH OOOOAAAAH.

  • Jonathan Jimenez

    Was going to see Chappie, and I just bought The Order 1886….welp my week is ruined. Gotta love RLM.

  • quick_moranis

    I know nothing about WoW so I’m indifferent, I just hope Duncan Jones can make it work for his own sake, because I loved Moon.
    Alien, though, might be what Blomkamp needs. Get him out of his own little dustball-ghetto, social commentary world for a while and maybe the next original story he comes out with may be better thought out.

  • Blue

    lol ouch. If it makes you feel better, I digitally pre-ordered Halo MCC + Ass Creed Unity. Both games were broken at launch. That was a super shitty night. The Order 1886 is def a bad game. I bought it too, and couldn’t even make it to the end. Got 70% into it, then just watched the rest on Youtube because the game was so boring. I’m someone that enjoyed Beyond Two Souls and Heavy Rain, so I’m not against interactive movies or whatever. They aren’t my favorite game genre, and I certainly think Gameplay is king. But I can enjoy those games for what they are.

    The Order is just boring. Story is a mess. Gameplay sections feel tacked on and actually just break up the flow. Game looks amazing though. So I guess it’s nice eye candy. Did you buy it physical? If so, take it back? If it was digital, then wah wah wah. Def buy Hotline Miami 2. Comes out tonight if you pre-order and pre-load it. Game will be incredible. Should lift your spirits up. 🙂

  • Bubs

    Reddit having a circle jerk? That band of wrinkle dink fucklesteins has never done that before.

  • Blue

    😛 Obvious post was obvious, you are right. Still, I had high hopes for this. And I think a lot people thought Elysium was just a misstep, and Blomkamp admitting the issues it had, maybe might have been a sign that his future work wouldn’t be a turd like Elysium. But nope. Chappie was even worse. Got another hack fraud on our hands that got lucky with his first outing.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Got 140k, the show is a close up of his face, there is a challenge issued by Jay to make it through one episode.

  • Seanán Kerr

    “Only through the elimination of violence can we achieve world peace”, response laughter, I’d say laughter is pretty close to being the opposite of violence no?

    Maybe the whole point of stupid movies about violence is that they ultimately show violence is stupid.

  • Palpatine

    “Only through laughter can we achieve world peace”. That should be Rich Evans’ slogan when he run for President. So remember to vote Rich Evans in the next election that’ll never happen, because I said so.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    It’s NOT World of WarCraft. It’ll be an adaptation of sorts to Warcraft: Orcs and Humans from 1994. It was a RTS game, and the movie is being touted as being a war movie, which makes sense. Thankfully it won’t be a random adventure of no-names going on a quest to kill some felboars.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    Treating violence as an “issue” or a theme on the other hand, is pretty much like saying this comment is really showing us what letters are all about.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    It will be set during the First War (WC: Orcs and humans), during the original invasion of orcs to Azeroth. Instead of a Lord of the Rings ripoff, I’m hoping they deliver on the promise of it being a war movie, presenting both sides fairly.

    On the one hand, Blizzard is overlooking this thing closely (unlike other video game companies that have no control over their properties once they sell the movie rights). On the other hand, Legendary Pictures is producing it, and their batting average is deplorable.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    “It took 12 years to maaake.” Yeah, that’s as much a dig at us as it’s at Linklater.

  • its called bleach

    hes hated doing half in the bag for a while now, probably because of contempt for his slavering audience who blindly agree w/ everything he says. if he said i think all jews should be forcibly deported to the moon everyone would be like cool beans

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    Well, I still think Tetra Vaal and Tempbot were cool. Somebody get a decent writer to work with the guy.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    “Only through MY laughter can we achieve world peace”

    If it’s going to be Rich Evans’ slogan in the presidential campaign.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    In “Oh my GAWD!” we trust.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    As opposed to Omi’s mantra: “In Jay we thrust”

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    “Wrinkle dink fucklesteins.”
    That’s awesome!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You know, just because everybody is saying CHAPPIE sux, doesn’t mean it doesn’t.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I’ll allow it.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Is Blomkamp writing Alien 5? Would you say Blomkamp is better than David Fincher (albeit a David Fincher that was mostly known for music videos at that point)? Is Blomkamp better than Jean-Pierre Jeunet? One could argue that Alien 3 and Resurrection were let down by terrible premises, scripts and studio meddling. Will FOX not interfere this time around? They are already saying they want to keep Prometheus as canon. Not excited about this Alien 5 thing at all so far.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    Oh they had to put the subtitles in, after the only thing people were talking about for a while when Dark Knight Rises was released was Bane’s mumbling.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    I liked Alien 3 (or “cubed” ffs). Resurrection was a fanboy script (yes, I know who wrote it) being shot as a parody of the franchise which somehow got greenlit. Prometheus is a bad movie. Next? I hardly care, this franchise is acid burned through and through for me.

  • omitted

    One of the few perks of living with a roommate: him walking around in his underwear while I cook dinner.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    That is the least creepy thing I heard today.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I will go as far as to say that Alien 3 is good if it was it’s own thing, isolated from the Alien franchise. As a continuation and “final” chapter or a supposed trilogy (which was not originally intended to be a franchise, much less a trilogy), I don’t like it.

  • omitted

    I guess I drooled too much: he went back into his room to put on sweatpants.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    Oh, there is no argument there. The first freaking scene just shits all over Aliens.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    Jay: “The…man…CHAPPiE creator man” and boom goes the dynamite!

  • Kurisu

    Not sure if IMDB is correct (as wrong info can be posted on there). But according to the site, Dan O’ Bannon is attached to the script with Blomkamp. Bannon wrote the original Alien Script, Total Recall and a bunch of other classics. But it also says Blomkamp is also co-writing the script, so eh. Then again, Alien was also a collaboration script (as many are). So it’s hard to parse out how much someone is responsible for a script being a success or failure, when so many are involved in the process. For instance, Lindelof was only one of the writers on Prometheus. Although I think it’s safe to assume the bad aspects of the script were on him, given they had his writing style.

    Anyways, yeah.

  • Gerhard Van der Berg

    Dude I love Jim Jefferies, but that is because he came to South Africa back in the day before he got semi famous. So I saw him when he was still a wild man. If Bare made you a fan, I would recommend Alcoholocaust and I swear to God as equal in hilarity if a bit more sexist and antireligion in nature.

    I would however recommend watching the two seasons of Legit his cancelled tv show before watching his previous stand-up as he does recycle some of his stand up for the show and watching the stand up after the sitcom is not that bad as the live telling of the stories are better, but Legit as a whole is still very entertaining.

    If however you want Jim closer to his old over the line style of comedy I would recommend the early podcast days of Jim and Eddie talks shit (before he left the show). Warning, the podcast had Jim often thinking he finished his career by how far he went over the line some times.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    Let’s not forget O’Bannon’s greatest cinematic achievement, writing Dark star.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Not to be an ass, just correcting. Dan O’Bannon passed away some years ago. What IMDB is saying is the script will be based on characters and ideas by Dan O’Bannon, so he gets credit for it.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    Hey, don’t underestimate a power of an old (albeit dead) weird guy.

  • Kurisu

    You aren’t an ass. I actually didn’t know this. Thanks for letting me know. So yeah, then IMDB is just listing him for I dunno. I guess based on the characters, you are right. Okay. Well yeah, my hope for this project isn’t high at all then.

    I still stand by the rest of my post (but I accidentally deleted it all after you point out my error). But basically, I think Blomkamp is a decent director. So just like JJ Abrams, I usually find the films fall apart on the script level. So maybe the Alien film will be good if a decent writer gets attached, since at least Blomkamp can direct.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    His soul was transported to a robot.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I know because I recently watched a documentary about Return of the Living Dead, and they said had died some years ago.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    With a cool bowtie.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    I forgot about that, but, well, he was a pretty big part (missing) in the whole Jodorowsky’s Dune thing.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    It really should not be, not even based on track records of people involved, just that the idea itself is a propagation of a cancerous trend.

  • Kurisu

    Sucks he died. But it makes sense for them to list him if the story is based on his characters. I guess I didn’t think about that.

    As I said in my edited post, I guess the only hope for the project is a decent writers gets attached to it. I mean, Blomkamp can direct. SO.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I always try to remember IMDB is edited by fans/users, like Wikipedia. Sometimes things aren’t official. Or you can get stuff like Ernest Borgnine was friends with Genghis Khan.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    OK, robots, you had fun for last couple of years, get the fuck out of big budget movies. And take the fucking ghosts with you! Also, tell Minotaurs to come in.

  • omitted

    Mr. Tapeworm, when are you going to address all the rumors concerning you and your girlfriend that have been circulating in this thread while you were gone?

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    I’ve not read them and in any case, I will put out a press release in due time. Among other releases.

  • omitted

    I’ll be waiting with my mouth open.

  • its called bleach

    oh im sure it does. i mean, im not that interested in seeing it. i didnt even think district 9 was that good. im not really that sure what my point was

  • Palpatine

    Speaking of the Alien series, is it wrong for me to like the original Alien film more than Aliens?

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    No, because I do too. Bro -job?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Absolutely not. I also like Alien over Aliens. In fact, I’m gonna pull some stats out of my ass and say the split is 50-50 among fans.

  • Palpatine

    While Aliens is technically the better film, I prefer the first one mainly because the atmosphere and suspense is much stronger than the sequel.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    OK. I am gonna be an asshole. I love the shit out of you guys, but I think the least interesting parts (of any film critique) is the nitpicking of plot. It’s fucking funny, yes, but you can make any ridicilous plotline work, if you make it intereresting, well shot, exciting, over the top batshit crazy….. I am just clamoring for a tiny bit more in depth stuff, from time to time. I think BotW gets more passion out of you (probably because of the miserable releases), so the conversation is lead to that naturally.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    The offer stands

  • tOmy`

    Alcoholocaust is my favorite. It just destroys people.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    Fuck you.

  • tOmy`

    Right? That guy is a total asshole.

  • tOmy`

    Buy him some yoga pants. Maybe he won’t notice.

  • Jason Ross

    Maybe Blomqvist is saving all his ‘not suck’ for Alien Five: Alien Harder

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    Well, he might notice the fact they’re crotchless

  • WrongWithYourFace

    They are two completely different movies. I don’t think you can really compare them. It’s just about which kind of movie you like more.

  • tOmy`

    Or seethrough.

    And currently on Omie, so he has to undress him to get em.

  • Palpatine

    If I were Blomkamp, I’d make Alien 5 a direct sequel to Aliens, ignoring Alien 3 and Resurrection. Sort of what like Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later did.

  • quick_moranis

    Oh, okay, like I said, I know nothing of that kind of stuff. Fantasy was never really my thing.

  • tOmy`

    Absolutely agree.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    Or edible..

  • Palpatine

    Alien is a sci-fi horror, whereas Aliens is a sci-fi action with horror elements in it. I’m a fan of both action and horror, but if I had to pick one, I’m gonna go with horror. When you really think about it, Alien is really a slasher movie in space.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    Sharlto Copley as face-hugger, 2017

  • Percy Gryce

    Challenge: rejected.

    (I have a weak stomach.)

  • tOmy`

    I am gonna be a bit naive here, but lemme just say: How hard is to actually fuck up Alien sequel?

    I mean, you already have all the pieces and formulas in place, right?

    You need: Alien – done. Use the original ones, everybody wins.
    You need: Location. Well, since the movie has to feel a bit industrial, you cannot plop em on some research facility. Let’s say some massive cargo ship – that way you can shoot on an actual cargo ship and with a bit of CGI trickery, you gonna make it look all space-like. Done.
    Cargo ship also contains: containers, conveyor belts, big areas, small areas, living quarters, engine room and fucking cranes. There. Solved the issue of “where to set action sequences”.
    You need: Crew that gets fucking murdered. Easy – let’s say that, this time around, we do space pirates. They see a disabled cargo ship floating in space. They board it just to see what they can loot. They realize, that the crew is gone and that it hauls a massive amount of containers. Mission: Reach the control center to jump start the engines (light etc.) and computers, so you can see which container contains something really valuable. Lights don’t work, but computers do – you already know where I am going with this.

    I mean fuck, this script writes itself. Plug in a female android for a change and something “important” for the main character that will make him more human to the audience.

    Blammo. Took me 5 minutes.

    It will take them 4 years to make everything wrong.

    [/ego trip over]

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    Well, just how bad could a new Indiana Jones be, if we get the same guys to do it!

  • tOmy`

    This actually made me laugh out loud.

    I think there is something wrong with me.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    With us. We are one. We are RLM comments. Fear us.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    See I prefer Alien because I consider it to be better then Aliens from just about any technical aspect.(and yes like you said it has actual atmosphere to boot as well)

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    Three minutes till the end of my shift, my colleague nowhere. Save me Chappie!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Prometheus treated as canon? Can this franchise bite the gun any harder?

  • tOmy`

    I guess I respect Alien more, but I like Aliens more.

  • tOmy`

    Yes. They will make Alien5 and say that despite the title, aliens and the plot, it’s not a sequel or anything to do with the franchise.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Well, you’re assuming that whoever’s making it understands the source material. And lemme tell you, the people who made Resurrection didn’t understand the source material.

  • Like Icare

    Trouble with Alien3 is that it tried to be “Final Chapter” AND a return to basics – after the franchise moved on.

    You can tease the audience with an invisible alien that picks off people one by one ONCE. Maybe. Many movies tried and failed.

    But once you’ve done that already, you can’t just change the location and call it “New Alien” – that’s Jason killing more teenagers, again.
    And we’ve already been in space. Twice.
    So, “going back to basics” is a bad move to start with.

    Worse move is killing off established characters and starting with a new batch of them, none of whom are charismatic or interesting – and then you shave their heads so we can barely tell them apart. Why not just slap them with a “walking alien food” sign while you’re at it?

    AND all of that is a step back from where both the franchise and the story were at.

    You can’t go from “This time it’s war” to running around a prison from an invisible alien again.

    Resurrection suffers from a similar problem – it copies Aliens instead of outdoing that movie. Then it also copies Alien3.

    I’d fault it there… not really advancing the story or the theme or the “grandeur” of the franchise.
    And the action is AGAIN subpar to Aliens.

    The rest… I’m OK with it as a more cynical retread of Aliens.
    And at the very least characters were interesting. And charismatic.
    You can’t really go wrong with casting Ron Perlman and Michael Wincott.

    You can underuse them… but they WILL tie the room together.

  • tOmy`

    That’s the shocking thing: This is basically so simple, yet so effective (not what I wrote, what they did back then). How can someone fuck it up?

    Sometimes it’s like watching a toddler playing with that “shapes” toy, trying to cram a square into the circle hole.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    To be fair, I think that it was Sir Ridley “grampa” Scott who said the intention is to keep Prometheus as canon… and that Prometheus 2 is happening too. It was not a FOX studio suit. If you want to chalk it up to Scott being senile, I’m fine with it.

  • Boehm

    IS “District 9” the new “it took 12 years to make”?!?!?!

  • omitted

    *shit

  • tOmy`

    While I agree, Aliens are about Aliens. We already have Aliens ready. We know how they sound like, we know how they look like and we know all the basics of what they are and what they are capable of. All you need is a set to let them roam.

    In Indiana Jones, you have to come up with a special artifact and some lore connected with it, including locations, puzzles, twists etc.

    In this regard, it is much harder, as you simply cannot rehash Arc or Holy Grail. But rehashing Aliens is all what Aliens should be about. Now I ain’t saying that I would mind Aliens with a certain twist on them – but they already tried few times and failed miserably. So let’s go one step back (or 4 of them, actually, when counting AvPs) and do the same shit all over again. Because at this point, I have a feeling that anything else will end up being a disaster.

    It’s not a story about human origins and makers and God. It is a story about an alien with acid for a blood for fuck sake.

  • omitted

    Of course you waited until I was away from the screen to have this conversation. I thought I disabled the webcam!

  • omitted

    *flasher

  • Like Icare

    Worse, he’s a pawn.

  • Nope.

  • Earth

    But that’s the thing though. What you’re essentially describing is Alien, but this time with a change in that it’s space pirates discovering it on a cargo ship rather than miners discovering it on an alien world.

    The story’s been told. There’s no need for any more sequels, especially not after Prometheus, Predators vs Aliens and Resurrection.

  • Earth

    I’m not even gonna begin to understand your reply.

  • tOmy`

    Oh, yea, I am not saying I came up with anything original (while I do believe that this “forum” alone could come up with some neat ideas) – I just used it to simulate how easy is to make an Alien movie that people would actually like to see, despite not being the most original one.

    I am not saying THIS is the movie they should have made, because quite frankly, by this point, I don’t think they should make any more. But seeing as all their other plans and ideas and creative decisions failed, stepping back to basics may be the only chance to give “us” what we want in the first place.

    Maybe after 3, Resurrection and AVPs it is really a great time to go back to the slasher in space formula. Why? Well, I am not a big fan of “stepping” back, but since this franchise already clocked more terrible sequels than good originals, step back may be perceived more as a “good step back”. And especially thematically, if you ask me – I miss the good old creepy, unsettling horror in space, while saving the jumpscares for more “funnier” moments.

  • Earth

    I just don’t think filmmakers are capable of stuff like that anymore so I just say, please, let these franchises just die. Yes, if there HAS to be another Alien movie, I’d prefer it to be like the one you described, but we both know that’s just not gonna happen. I’m predicting it’ll be just as bad as Terminator Genisys (which I also predict is terrible).

  • Like Icare

    Sorry… Ghosts, zombies and vampires are going nowhere. Literally and methaphoricaliciously.
    They are just too fucking cheap to make, they will always make a profit.
    So any budget will be spent on “talent”. And by talent I mean marketing.

    And an occasional name actor/director.

    And since you can’t really make slasher movies any more after Scream franchise did them in, literally and methaphoricaliciously, it’s what horror genre has to do with now.

    Robots on the other hand… you have to have some kind of a budget for robot movies. Them lights are not gonna blink on their own.
    So, if they get green lit… it has to go big budget.

  • tOmy`

    Absolutely agree.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    But, he told us he was gonna be an asshole. Assholes and douchebags cannot be self-aware.

    Who would do that?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I think he’s wonderful.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    What about vampires and werewolves?
    Superheroes?
    Mobsters?
    Gruff McMilitary Dudes?
    ZOMBIES?!!?

    There are lots of things that gotta GTFO before robots.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Tapeworms don’t circulate that way.

  • Sir Gregory Tufton Balls

    Fuck yeah! Fast turnaround, boys! Thanks for the quick review. I’ve seen in the clips that the kids from Die Antwoord are in the film. Enter the mutha-fuckin’ ninja! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cegdR0GiJl4

  • Evertale

    What’s wrong with your FAaAaCE…book?

  • Oh you. Don’t ever change.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Gawd, I hate that muthafukkah so much just looking at him.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Boxers or briefs or boxer-briefs?

  • Evertale

    Fuck you, it’s year godnibbles!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Ehn Ottam eez sash ooll ammie ermission oodye.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I’ll allow it.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Ew, dookie on the stats!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    One thing I didn’t understand was why Hugo Jackman wanted to sell a giant mech armed with machine guns, missiles and cluster bombs to the police department. Or rather why his boss, Sigourney Weaver, didn’t think of offering the model to the military. Did they have some exclusive contract with the cops that prevented them from doing business with anyone else?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    [Redacted. Because, Seems Easy.]

  • Sir Gregory Tufton Balls

    Heh – yeah, I think that’s pretty much his schtick – being unwatchable. And they’re awful live. Most rap is, though.

  • Hm… because of hack scriptwriting?

  • omitted

    White t-shirt and black boxers. For your imagination.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Was the t-shirt wet?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Because, Ferguson.

    I’m only half joking. Actually, I think that’s part of the “social commentary” thing Blomkamp is ineptly reaching for this time: The Militarization of Public Protection.

  • omitted

    Unfortunately, no.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    In the very near future, we will all refer to CHAPPiE as THE CHAPPENiNG.

  • fred

    😐

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    A sepreboot. ALIEN5-2=3ish

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Well, I must have missed that since I have no idea what’s been going on in Ferguson, except for some kind violence and institutional discrimination apparently.

    http://youtu.be/t_4bCpuELMw?t=2m20s

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    With giant armo(u)red Safety Conveyances.

  • tOmy`

    I still think that I Fink U Freeky and Ugly Boy clips are just better.

    However, they DO lack the “Ay yay yay, I am your butterfly” hook.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I’m expecting Chris Pratt and His Xenomorph Buddies.

  • DanceK

    “One night on the internet” taught me everything about I know… about poooooooorn.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    edit: I’m gonna pull some stats out of thin air.

    Is that better?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    “I’m not really that sure what my point was.”

    Welcome. You fit right in with the rest of us.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Oohoohoo, you’re a strict man Andrew.

  • Fuck Off Ghost

    Nope

  • Fuck Off Ghost

    he’s also considering Blade Runner 2, like, how could you possible fuck up your legacy more?

  • Just another guy

    LOL “I’m so sick of movies” I’m sick of games too Mike. Let’s have a beer. Our industries are bleeeeuuuuuuugh.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Not only that, Scott said that the script for “Blade Runner Too” is the best script Harrison Ford has ever read. I’d make a joke about “… and then Harrison Ford went and crashed his plane in desperation”, but that seems in poor taste.

  • Fuck Off Ghost

    Feel free, this site has no shame…

  • omitted

    *sick

  • tOmy`

    I shall comment on their live performance during summer, as I already have tickets.

    Also: I wouldn’t call it a rap. This is just… Die Antwoord.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Just to be contrarian…

    Maybe.

  • omitted

    Will the commentary also be live?

  • tOmy`

    I can call you from the moshpit.

  • Like Icare

    He foresaw Ferguson events two years before they happened and didn’t warn anyone?
    WHAT A FUCKING ASSHOLE!

  • tOmy`

    On Eaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarth.

  • Gavin Callaghan

    Chappie looks a lot like the robot in Shirow’s Appleseed comic from the 1980s.

    http://i.i.cbsi.com/cnwk.1d/i/tim//2010/01/11/fmimg6824855385990933307.jpg

  • Like Icare

    I’m sorry, but I will have to concur with the esteemed colleagues maggit and Fuck Off Ghost, that at this time there is indeed no correlation to indicate that “District 9” could be the new “it took 12 years to make”.

    Though, I must add, it might be the new “from the creator of The Sixth Sense”.

  • Like Icare

    I fear that Superhero is solidifying into a genre of its own.
    You know… Like Western.

    There is a HUGE trove of that literature going back decades for one.

    Then, it has a built in audience AND it is SIMPLE.
    Comics were originally stylistically designed for children and retards – and that is mostly how they are still treated to this day in the U.S. of A.
    Ergo the whole “It’s a graphic novel, not a comic” kerfuffle.

    Then, merchandise. Period.

    Then… And this one is magical…
    Superman and Batman were first published in 1938 and 1939.
    Copyright for “work for hire” is “120 years after creation or 95 years after publication, whichever comes first”.

    Meaning that a kid born this year will be able to release his/her own Superman film by his/her 18th birthday.
    20th birthday if the movie is to include Batman AND Joker.

    Superheroes are on the verge of becoming public domain.
    The clock is clocking out.
    Even Avengers probably won’t live long enough for a reboot before their copyright runs out.

    Sure, Disney and WB will be able to make more of the material and retain copyright to all that – but now we could be seeing 5 competing Superman movies in the same year.
    And that’s oversaturating the market just a bit.

  • Like Icare

    Bri is a cyborg. Also a black Greek. You cyber-insensitive clod.
    Those are actually some of his eyes – so he can look back and around the corners.
    http://www.moonpod.com/board/images/misc/Appleseed-LandMate.gif

    Also, Blomkamp mentioned that he “borrowed” rabbit ears from Shirow.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Literally my reaction.

    “Jay’s a punk, I can handle this.’

    Harry Knowles: “My good friend Roger Ebert told me one time…”

    “Okay Jay, you win.”

  • Now I Get It

    Ah-ha-ha, you’ve just gone rudely insane.

  • Not until Jaws changes his name to JAWSiE.

  • Alex

    After some depressive weeks I needed that. Thank you guys.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Yes. I realize that. I used Ferguson, because, American. More accurately, the militarization of public service has been an issue in Johannesburg, and other places in the world, forever. It’s only recently become an issue in the U.S. Because, The States are slow to catch-up?

  • It doesn’t seem like a very original idea. I mean, it is a problem, especially in the US and Mexico but with the way Mike and Jay described it, the film is just confused and doesn’t really know what it wants to say. If it wants to say anything at all.

  • I had hoped that since this was being co-written with Blomkamp’s wife,
    which was the case with D9, we would get a decent film this time.
    Elysium was such a massive turd. I figured Blomkamp just fucked it up,
    and since Chappie was based off two shorts he did years ago, Tetra Vaal
    and Tempot, I thought things would work out this time. Hell I remember
    watching Tetra Vaal after seeing D9 thinking “this should be made into a
    full-length film, it could be fucking awesome” SO I thought that was
    what we were gonna get with Chappie

    IDK wtf happened, I see
    people saying D9 was just a fluke, maybe it was…but it was a much
    smaller film, no big name actors, pretty basic plot, just under 2 hours,
    subtle social commentary, but not bashing you over the head with it. It
    was nearly perfect.

    I’ll still have to see Chappie to make my
    own judgments, but it seems like with this movie, and Elysium to a
    certain extent, all the elements are there to have these great sci-fi
    movies, but with the convoluted plot, weak script, and ham fisted social
    commentary, it all falls apart.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Well, if people wanted to apply “Apartheid” to DISTRICT 9, I say, I can apply what I want to CHAPPiE. Right or wrong, it hardly seems like it should matter now, when it didn’t matter then.

  • I didn’t know it was such a huge problem in SA.

  • Fuck Off Ghost

    I’m warming up to the “Sixth Sense” idea, lets roll with it

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Israel. Cyprus.

    Throw a dart at the map. Chances are, you’re close.

  • I’m not saying you’re wrong. I’m saying the message seems to be a bit muddled and blurry due to inept scriptwriting.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I know. I’m just agreeing with you, awkwardly.

    When the writing’s as bad as this apparently is, nothing matters. You could argue it was about the influence of rap music. The negative results of allowing executives to wear short pants to the office.

    Anything.

  • Palpatine

    Since some others and I were discussing Alien 5, I decided to share my idea for it. This film acts as a sequel to Aliens, ignoring Alien 3, and Resurrection, sort of like Halloween: H20. Since next year is the 30th anniversary of Aliens, it only fits that this film takes place 30 years after that one. The film begins with Ripley, Hicks, Newt, and Bishop returning to Earth. Upon their return, they discover that the Weyland-Yutani Corporation has essentially in control of the planet. Michael Weyland (who appeared in Alien 3) is the head of the company and welcomes Ripley and the others home. Despite having failed her job given to her nearly a century before, Ripley is acknowledged as a hero by the company and is even made Head of the Biological Research due to her experiences with the Xenomorphs. Hicks on the other hand is made Head of Military Division. Unbeknownst to them, the company is just using them to get their hands on the Xenomorphs. End of Act 1.

  • omitted

    Fade to black and gunshot?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    The Xenomorph is in the cat, right? It’s gotta be in the cat.

  • Grandpa Seth

    If you don’t like Chappie, then you can get the fuck outta my faaaaceeee!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Is Newt just forgotten? What does she when she’s 30 years older?

  • Jawsie

    that would never happen ;p

  • omitted

    The Pussymorph?

  • Jawsie

    and at the end of the movie sigorny beaver picks up a machete and chops off the aliens head, and then in alien 6 we see that it wasnt actually the aliens head she chopped off but the alien somehow swapped himself out with the ambulance driver

  • Palpatine

    Act 2. It’s now a year later, and Ripley and Hicks are now married with Newt as their adopted daughter. Because of their status, the new family enjoys the finer things the future has to offer. Bishop, who has been repaired, warns them that their status is starting to blind them to truth about the Wey-Yu Corp. During a board meeting, Michael Weyland announces a plan to do away with the Xenomorph threats to the colonies on LV-426, and Hicks is put in charge of the operation. Hicks finds it suspicious that another colony has been established on the Xenomorph infested moon, but goes along anyway. Due to advanced technology, light-speed travel has been perfected, so Hicks and the Colonial Marines reach the moon with only a few weeks. Upon arrival however, Hicks discovers that there are no colonies, and the Marines mutiny against him. They reveal the real mission was to capture a Xenomorph and bring back to Earth for the Wey-Yu Corps. benefit. After an intense action scene, a Xenomorph is captured and is brought back to Earth. While that happens, Ripley uncovers the plot about the Xenomorphs, and learns that the company is planing to clone them, and train them to serve as weapons as well. Ripley resigns in protest. Hicks and the Marines return to Earth with the Xenomorph, and when Hicks learns the plan to use the aliens, he resigns as well. End of Act 2.

  • Jawsie

    and in the directors cut we find out that the mysterious man in black was actually malcom mcdowell who has a rune tattoo on his hand, and when hicks shoots his ass down, we see that the rune tattoo has somehow attatched itself onto hicks’ hand he screams… and it cuts to black

  • The Summer of George

    Rich Evans: Confirmed for CHEST HAIR!!!

  • Palpatine

    Act 3. With the Xenomorph now in their control, the Weyland-Yutani Corp. has successfully cloned a group of them for warfare. The company decides to test their new weapon out on a terrorist group, which proves effective. Ripley knows that Xenomorphs did that out of pure instance instinct and nothing else. Eventually, the company has over a thousand Xenomorphs at their disposal, which begins to worry some of the executives within the company. Michael Weyland on the other hand has become drunk with power, and threatens to feed anyone who opposes him to aliens. However, the Xenomorphs manage to escape from where their being held and run amok around the city they’re in. The Colonial Marines do battle against the aliens, but are overpowered by the aliens. They soon call upon Hicks and Ripley for help. They agree, and a big epic battle takes place. Eventually, the only remaining Xenomorph is the one that was brought back. As Ripley prepares to battle it, Michael Weyland shows up to persuade her not kill it. Weyland speaks to it, having clearly lost his mind, and tries to convince the alien he’s its master. The Xenomorph doesn’t give a shit a kills him. Ripley and the alien fight, and, as you’d expect, Ripley is the winner. The Xenomorphs are defeated, the company promises never to use the aliens again, and Ripley announces to Hicks that she’s pregnant. The End. I hope you liked it, and if you have any suggestions, please feel free to tell me.

  • ModernDayMinstrel

    But if we got rid of shitty ghost movies, Mike would surely off himself.

  • Jawsie

    sure palpy, as long as we dont have rob zombie direct it, anything is good, because palpy imagine if we had your rob zombie direct alien 5 … jesus

  • Palpatine

    All joking aside, if anyone should direct it, should be either Ridley Scott, or James Cameron.

  • Palpatine

    Then at the end, Busta Rhymes goes all kung-fu on its ass.

  • Earth

    I’m in suspense for Act 3. What happens next Palpy!!!

  • Palpatine

    I already replied to myself with a comment about the events of Act 3.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    have you been to south africa?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    awww man! who killed Jaws?

  • omitted

    lunch break?

  • Sully

    Joseph Sargent?

  • Sully

    Rob Zombie? The guy who fucked up Halloween?

  • RLMkeepitup

    pretty good, although I doubt Ripley would be duped a third time. Realistically this is why I think the series is basically dead. Then again they got Dr. Grant back on dino island with a blank check so anything is possible. Maybe Hicks is just Kyle Reese from the past, he could come back that way.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I always feel like my jaw is out of place.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    sooo manly… rrrrrrrrrrrrr~

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Rob Shneider? Wait, he’s not dead… The dead one.

  • Derp de derp?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Roger Moore?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Studio did, after the first movie.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hey aren’t you dead?

  • its called bleach

    kids? they look as old as my drug addict dad. and he looks older than normal because hes addicted to drugs

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Jay will be the heartless overlord in the oppressed-AI future, before the future-future where they revolt and murder us all. Dammit Jay! Why can’t you just go “awwwww~”??

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I hope Blomkamp brings back Lance Henriksen, even though he’s like a hundred years old. Besides being in Mass Effect what has he done lately?

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    It wasn’t a long episode, but it was a good one. I… I am content.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Kurisu

    Ah man, you okay? Hope things get better. If it helps talking about it, let us know. Or, I would def be down to talk.

  • Kurisu

    Jay looks chipper/dapper/ chapper, chappie!

    This film is a metaphor for Jay’s sexual fetish for white dude’s in dark side of the moon underwear.

    http://images.rapgenius.com/6bc3e25096de3d7c9a2e50e37cc4651d.480x261x10.gif

  • omitted

    What?!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Seems like you’ve been doing it wrong all along. 🙁

  • Kurisu

    Rich is an angel. I try to time my orgasm with an clip of him going OH MY GOOOOOOOOOD. So you can tell when my vibrator makes me climax when you hear Rich’s angelic voice echoing in my house.

  • Kurisu

    What is a girl to do when she wants to be clever, but isn’t clever. I’m sexually confused, because Jay looks so sexy in these videos, and yet I imagine he has some kinky ass fetish’s.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    CineMaybe™

    STARRED UP As brutal a prison drama as I’ve ever seen, with the added element of a truly screwed-up Father / Son dynamic. Jack O’Connell — with this, UNBROKEN and ’71 he risks Sully’s overexposure rule — is chilling as a nearly irredeemable punk, and Ben Mendelsohn is even more menacing than he was in ANIMAL KINGDOM (which I would have not thought possible). A really hard watch, but a thrilling one. Full-frontal warning. Racism. Drugs. Blood. And the word “cunt” used as punctuation. Not a thing sweet or hopeful about it.

    ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Your face is gonna be mighty lonesome for awhile.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    All good, Evil.

    I’d probably put Ripley in stasis. She wakes up to find Hicks is in with the suits. She doesn’t trust any of it. Hicks tries to sway her with the kid. Lose Bishop. The kid turns out to be synthetic. Hicks gets fed to the Xenomorphs. Ripley goes ape-sh!t on Marines and suits.

    That’s just me.

  • Sully

    I have an overexposure rule?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    His voice is like the combination of Fergie and Jesus.

  • Like Icare

    Not quite the same thing nor the same kind of thing.

    SA and other countries upgrade their police equipment for your average cop as technology develops, budgets allow and needs arise.
    So, just as US police has over time switched from revolvers to automatics and started wearing bulletproof vests, so does police elsewhere – cause criminals are already a step ahead.
    ‘357 round was developed cause early bulletproof vests could stop smaller caliber and ’38s were bouncing off the hoods of cars.
    And so on and so on…
    Ending with Bane raiding Batman’s armory and building a nuke.

    Meanwhile, special police units have been using that same technology and more for much longer, and uses more advanced weapons, equipment and tactics today – as expected.
    Your beat cop does not drive a Humvee and pack an automatic rifle while inspecting traffic.
    Except in USA.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1033_program
    Where through the benefits of government programs military gear, weapons and vehicles have found their way into police units big and small.
    Particularly the small – as they are CHEAP AND AVAILABLE.
    Sheriff’s office in a 300-person town needs a new vehicle – 1033 offers the cheapest and best equipment for their money.
    I other words… http://i.imgur.com/B8wx2n8.gif

    “This trend is not only sweeping America’s small cities, it’s hitting
    American college campuses as well. Ohio State University recently
    acquired an MRAP (mine-resistant ambush protected vehicle),” he said. “Apparently, college kids are getting too
    rowdy.”
    http://thehill.com/policy/defense/215160-lawmaker-drafting-bill-to-stem-flow-of-tanks-and-m16s-to-police

    The other factor in the equation that can’t be compared to elsewhere is the fact that the USA has been waging two never ending wars for over a decade(not counting that other never ending war on drugs).
    With police force being both a logical career for veterans from those wars AND the recipient of lectures by all those military trained “tactical experts”.

    So USA gets police officers with PTSD and some good old occupation force training – treating US citizens as the enemy, following the “shoot first” philosophy of the battlefield.

    Joburg has crime and poverty and racial issues leading to escalation of violence and of police militarization.
    USA has its police force full of war veterans, trained and used to using military tactics, while it has been trying to recoup the costs of the last three wars by deploying its surplus military gear at home.

    Joburg has militarization issues.
    USA has military instead of a police force.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Yeah. Too many appearances, you grow too tired of an actor and start automatically tuning out. Remember? We spoke of it a couple days ago in regards to Depp, I think.

  • Kurisu

    Anyone else besides Depp in modern films? For a while i was thinking that Joseph Gordon Levitz but he kind of had some room to breathe?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Fassbender and Chamberpot suffer from this too.

  • Sully

    Lliam Neeson, Helena Bonham Carter, Samuel L. Jackson, and Morgan Freeman.

  • Kurisu

    Ah good examples. I agree.

  • Sully

    My head was in the gutter.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Add Bradley Cooper.

  • omitted

    Carter? Fassbender? Cooper? I’ve barely even met her!

  • Kurisu

    Thanks, you are right. I wonder at what point someone like Depp will stop being given so many gigs when he’s had so many flops. As far as the other examples you gave, I know at the end of the day its a pay check. And given how fickle Hollyowod is, you almost would want to take gigs when you have them.

    But I’d be worried as an actor of over exposure or picking too many bad films.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Uhh… Fassbending sounds rough.

  • Sully

    Yeah, Nicholas Cage has overexposed himself right into direct-to-video territory. There’s a fine line between “Successful Actor” and “Gig Chasing Hack.”

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I thought future Jay & Mike serve their former VCR repair client who became Queen after investing in virtual reality after watching Transcendence?

  • omitted

    Have you seen Shame? It really is.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Matthew McConaughey was there. Redeemed his way out of it. Now, threatening to end up right back there.

  • omitted

    But for how long?!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I haven’t. But I have felt shame. Mostly when I’m here.

  • Sully

    Matthew McConaughey baffles the shit out of me, because he can be an incredible actor at times, and then turn right around and do some shit like Sahara.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    But, you’ve done your fair share of Serkising, amirite?

    #SirKissing

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I seem to be running into Channing Tatum a bit more than the law of averages should allow.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I don’t think any actor ever gave a fuck about over exposure.It’s just about constantly working(or constantly cashing out dem paychecks)

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You just made omi jelly.

  • omitted

    At the gym around 3 am?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    “Satisfaction is a treasure.”

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Cream ain’t John Travolta, you know.

  • omitted

    Actually, I’m saving all my kisses for Jay.

  • Like Icare

    30 years is no good. They are supposed to be in cryosleep. I.e. NOT aging.
    300 years in a FAULTY cryosleep on the other hand…

    This also allows them to deal with 3-4 discrepancy like this:

    Newt: How long have we been asleep?
    Ripley: According to the navigational computer – over 3 centuries. But according to our medical data, we have aged about 30 years. I guess that explains those nightmares I had of being a mother to a Xenomorph-human hybrid.
    Newt: I dreamed that I was dead and you were being chased around hallways and corridors by the aliens. Mostly.
    Hicks: Funny… I dreamed of those aliens fighting this other kind of… hunter aliens. Does that make sense to anyone?
    Ripley: No more than a dream I had about this naked albino giant drinking black goo.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Under overpasses, natch!

  • Kurisu

    Apart of me worried Cranston would have this happen after the success of Breaking Bad. I haven’t particularly loved most of the film roles he’s been in so far. I hope he doesn’t end up being in too many things w/ too many medicore roles. I love him and think he’s fantastic. But id hate to have that happen with him.

    Since we are talking about this, I wonder if Chris Pratt is walking that line. Can’t go anywhere without seeing him. So far all of his choices for roles have been a success. But I could see Jurrassic Parks next film not being good. And with the talk of him being considered for an Indiana Jones reboot I could see him being spread too far. But so far his choices for roles have been fine so he hasn’t gotten annoying. But it does seem Hollywood wants him to be the go to guy for every major thing. I hope he has the sense to keep it semi dialed in and making sure the scripts he chooses are actually good.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    “Ser” means “shit” in Czech. That’s another thing I know about Czech Republic, in addition to Krtek and at least five pornstars.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Chris Pratt has already pole-vaulted over that line. The world is gonna get so sick of Chris Pratt, there’ll be universal nostalgia for Johnny Depp’s funny make-ups.

  • omitted

    The imperative form even, if memory serves me.

  • Like Icare

    Vagina Dentata, what a scary phrase,
    Vagina Dentata, ain’t no passing craze,
    It means no schlong for the rest of your days,
    It’s our penis free philosophy, Vagina Dentata.

  • omitted

    I’d rather watch Prabs all day than 50 shades of Jack Sparrow. Maybe I’m in the minority.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I don’t think really good actors need to worry about it. It’s the ones who tend to one-note similarities (Fassbender, Kumquatwatch, Jennifer Lawrence) or simple gimmicks (Depp, Pratt) who will over-annoy.

  • omitted

    You scare me sometimes.

  • Sully

    I don’t think Daniel Day Lewis fits that bill.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Daniel Day Lewis could work a lot more, as far as I’m concerned.

  • omitted

    I think he fits the five dollar bill quite nicely.

  • omitted

    DO YOU WANT LUNCH?!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Thanks, NOT! Now I won’t be able to listen to Dark Side of the Moon until I can un-see that!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I would get a Yor strap-on if Channing Tatum was GGG.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    All in all its just another…dick on the wall.

  • RLMkeepitup

    *thinks* is this person man or woman? *shrugs* works either way around these parts

  • RLMkeepitup

    when a lady says she’s satisfied it’s best to at least pretend its forever

  • RLMkeepitup

    Sasquatch Mountain (2007)

  • Palpatine

    My idea is that Ripley becomes so consumed by her new found wealth and status, she totally forgets about the first two times she was duped.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Glad it’s great. I was looking forward to both this and ’71.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Wow. That was amazing! He should do that on a video sometime.

    Mike should yell at him. “Sing, Rich, sing!”

  • RLMkeepitup

    Not to say it couldn’t be good, but the flimsy plots in promethius and avatar make me wonder about those two these days.

  • Palpatine

    Who you get to direct it?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    At the rate he says that phrase you’re clocking in at about 3.5 orgasms per video.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    The shoot was a little over 2 weeks ago now. After the shoot the two editors, which is what I am, labelled all the footage. The director, over our March Break/Reading Week [which was just last week], went over all the footage. We met again today in class and made a game-plan for how the two editors using the notes the director made for the shots are going to create an assembly edit. I’m going to edit the 2nd half.

  • Palpatine

    Since I gave my idea for Alien 5, how would guys do it? Would you make it a direct sequel to Aliens, ignoring 3 and Resurrection, or would you continue the story from where it left off?

  • Bubs

    Hitler. Oh… Ohhhhh, I thought you said…. Nevermind.

  • Jaws H20 – Water is Scary

    hehe, nice

  • Jaws H20 – Water is Scary

    Len Kabasinski , Curse of the Alien

  • Jaws H20 – Water is Scary

    the Man in Black

  • Jaws H20 – Water is Scary

    that would get people interested again though wouldn’t it

  • Jaws H20 – Water is Scary

    ah she becomes the guy from mad about you

  • Bubs

    I would do the movie from the point of view of the Xenomorph. The movie starts with the Xenomorph (Ted) heading out for a night on the town with a few of his buddies. Then one of them pulls out a bunch of shrooms. The next day Ted wakes up and has no idea where he is, but he’s surrounded by a bunch of dirty humans that try to murder him with machine guns. We’ll work in Mike Tyson, Brad Pitt, and serial killer John Wayne Gacey into the plot as the Xenomorph tries to unravel the mystery of what happened the night before, while not getting murdered by humans, and while murdering all the humans.

    It’ll be great.

  • Jaws H20 – Water is Scary

    i would reboot aliens 2

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Does it *really* have to be about Ellen Ripley? I mean, why? Sure, evidence points to when Ellen Ripley is not involved we get AvP 1 or 2 and Prometheus, but there’s also 2 bad movie with her. You know what I would do? Judge Dredd vs. Aliens. That comic was rad.

  • CynicalOptimist22 .

    They’re making two Ghostbusters reboots apparently. Not only will we get the HILARIOUS Tammy version but Magic Mike has swooped down from Heaven to dance those ghosts away.

  • Jaws H20 – Water is Scary

    Mike Sotklasa is in Ghostbusters… sweet

  • Palpatine

    As long as the script is good and gives Sigourney Weaver enough to work with, then yes, Ripley should return.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I would at least have one scene in the Colonial Senate to establish a commission to explore the validity of Ripley’s accusations.

  • Jaws H20 – Water is Scary

    she is waking up from cryostasis and that might explain the age differences, they could wake up and then crash land on earth, only to find out the place is over run by aliens, who have their own societies, and use humans as slaves, and the aliens have evolved to wear clothes and ride horses and then at the end sighorny finds a huge statue of obama and theres your twist, all we need now is m night shyamalan

  • Hank_Henshaw

    It’s gonna be great!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “You’re Magic, Mike?”
    That’s right, Jay!”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I feel like I’ve seen that film before … I also feel like it was shitty.

    “Get your Jaws off of me you damn, dirty fake!”

  • Andrew Thompson.

    damn you johnny cash!.

  • siggyfrend

    No, Mike, you are the morbid one. We embrace the truth of life, it’s algorithmic nature. You embrace superstition perpetuated by the dead.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    morning tea. i’m having a late lunch now.

  • Jaws H20 – Because Sequels

    Today’s episode of Half in the Bag is brought to you by The U.S. Department of Agriculture, and those earnest men and women, on the farms and in the hatcheries, whose untiring efforts in breeding better poultry, eventually will give as ”The Chicken of Tomorrow”

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Chunkys?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i would love that!

  • Jaws H20 – Because Sequels

    would be awesome.. Plinkett could be The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man

  • Andrew Thompson.

    for the past few years given the ages of the actors, i have been thinking that…
    Newt as a traumatised young woman drags Sickhorrny and Kyle Reece. back to the colony because she has nightmares that something survived.
    Earth Gov is sane enough to want to exterminate the zenos so sends them with more marines to check.
    when they get there company mercenaries (protecting the research base WY.corp secretly built) shoot them down.
    the survivors of the crash have to fight wild zenos and mercenaries to take down the company and get off this shit eating planet! .

  • Andrew Thompson.

    soild!… i mean sold.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    now back to 9/11
    i mean work…. 9/11 was more interesting.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    George Clooney? Oh that’s Tomorrowland.

  • Palpatine

    Weird question, but does anyone else here think that the best thing about the Star Wars prequels was the music?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I just read about this and get the distinct feeling the ‘Tammy’ version will eventually be dropped or included somehow in the Reitman version. The ‘money’ is nervous – the ugliness that erupted when the Feig announcement was made might’ve been enough for them to say, “You know what? Let’s go the safe route.”

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    The Plinkett Reviews are the best thing about the Star Wars prequels.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    If Josh isn’t cast as Walter Peck I’m not watching.

  • Jaws H20 – Because Sequels

    well in the end youre not looking at the background, youre not watching the pods, youre listening to the music

  • Palpatine

    Alright then the music is the second best thing.

  • Jaws H20 – Because Sequels

    yeah but they spawned half in the bag and best of the worst so.. distant 3rd maybe

  • Palpatine

    That’s why the Duel of the Fates song is more interesting than the actual duel:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzVBqBosf5w

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I thought the ‘Weird’ Al song ‘The Saga Begins’ was the best thing. So that’s sorta music about the prequels… sorta.

  • Jaws H20 – Because Sequels

    yeah i might just pay that, because john williams equals.. awesome

  • Palpatine

    I could listen to Duel of the Fates all day. That and Battle of the Heroes:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIl7-rDOuTM

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Duel of the Fates is wonderful, but I never think about the prequels while listening to it. I think of some alternate Star Wars universe where George Lucas can’t tarnish the story or the visuals that made Williams’ scores truly shine.

  • Jaws H20 – Because Sequels

    actually pretty good isnt it, epic really… pity the movie wasnt up tot hat standard, reminds me of conan the barbarian, original.. ”riders of doom”, which also kicks ass

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I remember Mike mentioning how much music makes a scene and I how a fan cut of the ‘I’ll be right here’ scene from E.T. fell apart without the score. Too bad the scene was too far gone to be saved in this case.

  • Jaws H20 – Because Sequels

    Mike knows his shit when it comes to movies, no doubt

  • Palpatine

    Here’s the video by the way:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWcg3cITkTI

  • Cream-A-Thon

    No doubt, no doubt.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Thank you!

  • Grandpa Seth

    You got STABBED by Russell Crowe in front of like 50,000 plebians, you DUMB IDIOT.

    Loved you in The Last Crusade, though!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    So far I’ve cast:
    Egon – Jack
    Venkman – Jay
    Ray – Mike
    The black one – the ‘Hobbit Denny’s ad’ actor
    Ripley – Domo
    Zul – Jessica Kabasinski

  • Palpatine

    Just imagine if the scene in Jurassic Park where the group sees the brachiosaurus for the first time had no music in it.

  • Jaws H20 – Because Sequels

    that would rock 🙂

  • Palpatine

    Josh the Wizard should play Louis Tully.

  • Jaws H20 – Because Sequels

    that’s like imaging candid camera without the laugh track

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Comic Book Artist Freddie Williams II could be the mayor.

  • Devin Morse

    Saying “skip this movie” is a total exaggeration. I guess the standards by which critics are taken seriously nowadays are so high that Jay (especially) and Mike have to demonize Chappie for the same exact shit that pervades the beloved District 9 (seriously, watch that movie again, it’s fucking stupid).

  • Palpatine

    Who would play Walter Peck?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Canadian Visual Effects Artist Jim?

  • Jaws H20 – Because Sequels

    frank stallone

  • Jaws H20 – Because Sequels

    i agree with half your statement, but mike n jay have no standards, they are THE standard, by which all others are measured

  • I’d agree that the main premise of District 9 is actually really stupid when you stop to think about it (first contact with alien life and what do we do? Eh, just throw ’em in a shanty town, whoopdee doo, we’re not alone in the universe, who gives a fuck). BUT, I’d argue the main plotline is executed well enough that the bluntness of the social commentary and nigh-absurd level of cynicism can be forgiven.

    Then take Elysium; the core concept is still very obvious, though arguably far more believable. However, the entire film bludgeons the audience with multiple issues Blompy-kun is trying to inject into the narrative, and it becomes more of a chore to slog through.

  • Bubs

    I strongly defend the main premise of District 9, specifically because of what you said. In the real world, we expect that a visiting alien race would be hyper-advanced and would arrive to save us from ourselves with their enlightened way of living, and in turn we would greet them as Gods with parades and trumpets.

    … But what if that’s not how it went? What if they arrived and they were a poverty-stricken group of refugees who were dirty and needed help? What if all they did was add to the problems of a country already overrun with problems? The movie glosses over the “We’re not alone in the universe” aspect, because it takes place 20 years after they arrived. That shit was already dealt with and everyone had moved on from it. Now the reality sets in – what are we going to do with these fucking bug-like free-loaders?

  • Even with all that though…they’re still ALIENS. From outer space.

    Maybe I’m just overly optimistic, but I can’t see humanity just tossing aside living, physical proof of other life in the universe to live in a ghetto, even if they are a bunch of sickly bugs.
    The idea of alien life has fascinated people all across the world for years, but all these countries and affluent groups would be okay with these specimens living off of cat-food and getting picked off by gangsters? I really don’t think 20 years is long enough to harsh the buzz people would have about finding aliens. It just isn’t the same thing as finding housing for poor refugees from a war-torn nation, as awful as that is to say.

  • Jaws H20 – Because Sequels

    yeah he sat back in south africa and he was like man we should swap out the africans for aliens, and that shit would be new

  • Kurisu

    Lol has an opinion but gets mad at others opinions. I saw this movie before the review was out and I agree it’s a movie worth skipping. District 9s concept is silly but comes together through the execution. Chappie is awful all around. Terrible concept. Bad acting. Unlikable characters. And unlike District 9, Chappie totally had the set up to an amazing concept and they blew it by going a completely different direction that was totally awful and far less interesting. Unlike District 9 this film falls apart at every level of the execution. So wah wah :p

  • Bubs

    I think this would be more true if they looked like Na’Vi. But they don’t, they’re big ugly gross bug creatures. They eat catfood, they don’t seem to be particularly smarter than humans, and they’re kind of dicks.

    What would be the alternative to sticking them in some alien ghetto? We can’t even integrate homosexuals into our society without having countless gay-marriage arguments, there’s no way we could integrate an alien species. I mean maybe there would be some charity organizations that band together to make their ghetto nicer (much like we do for those starvin’ marvin’s in Afriker – which we can see is working REALLY well).

    We search for ETs because we want something from them. But the movie says “What if they have nothing to offer us?” The only thing the Prawns seem to have is better technology, and we can’t really figure out how it works and they won’t tell us. So we have no other use for them. I think this is a realistic view of humanity. It’s things like this that make great Sci-Fi. The movie’s about the aliens… but more-so it turns the mirror back on humans.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    That’ll be good, if it were to happen. Only then everyone will realize that the problem wasn’t the “Female Ghostbusters” concept, the real evil was making another Ghostbusters at all. Ghostbusters without Peter Venkman, Winston Zeddemore, Egon Spengler and Ray Stantz, is not Ghostbusters.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Rich can’t be a Ghostbuster. Because when Gozer asks “Are you a God?” He would answer “Yes.”

    Actually, scratch that, Gozer wouldn’t even make that question, Gozer would know the answer beforehand.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Its the ‘Duke Nukem Forever’ of movies, alas. It’s one of those good ideas ‘at the time’ that ultimately let everyone, especially the money, down.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    its so funny that the Americans judge all culture as if it was made for them exclusively.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Just think about it, the people that made the first one, the exact same key players (except for the music composer and the cinematographer), were unable to repeat the feat for Ghostbusters II. Instead, what we got was one of the biggest letdowns ever.

  • Jaws H20 – Because Sequels

    that’s why we call it world series baseball

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I also feel like this project is another Trek, maybe it didn’t start out that way, but thats what it is now – something no fan has a say in and which is at the bottom line a shameless cash grab from an established property.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    “Whatever we think of— if we think of Harry S. Plinkett, Harry S. Plinkett will appear and destroy us, okay? So empty your heads, don’t think of anything. We’ve only got one shot at this.”

    “The Choice has been made! The Traveller has come!”

    A Giantic, overweight, wheelchair-bound, serial killer with a blue can of Raid on his hand, emerges from the Hudson river.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I think the original strength is enough decades on to suppress memory of the second in anticipation of a third, what little there may be. The ‘Attack of the Clones’ level of hope, that this will correct the faults of the last movie and restore trust in the system, is also at play in the back of moviegoers minds.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    The only say I have is with my wallet. I’m not buying a ticket to any of the proposed Ghostbusters Cinematic Universe (lol) movies.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Dick is the birthday boy and he can be WHOEVER he wants.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    This movie is ripe for my ‘Please Don’t’ strategy – we pay Hollywood a quarter to half the ticket price to not make a movie. Sort of an anti-Kickstarter – the studios make money and we are spared a regrettable remake.

  • Jaws H20 – Because Sequels

    i’d watch that

  • Cream-A-Thon

    At some point there were plans for a ‘COPS’ type show in a sort of ‘Ghostbusters’ universe. Sort of if ‘Ghost Hunters’ was interesting. Sounded good but never happened.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Wow. How come no studio has come up with this for real? Call it Threatstopper. They issue a threat: “Universal planning a remake of Back to the Future, unless fans pay up to stop it.”

    It might be the future of movie business.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m an actor you idiot, you’re a dead grandpa.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    My only problem with District 9 was that the format of “found footage+mockumentary” that worked so well in the short, was impossible to sustain for 2 hours, so it kinda starts that way, but at some points movie, when they can’t justify the presence of a camera, the format is abandoned and it becomes a regular movie. The rest of it was very good.

  • Grandpa Seth

    YOU’RE A LIAR

  • Three Stars

    It seems that Neill Blomkamp is out to make leftist fairytales. Competent white people, the guys who actually contribute to the world, are always bad and useless trash is always treated with sympathy. I guess this is so common nowadays that no one even notices it.

  • andypants1989

    Continue from the end of 2 or 3.

    I was so pissed off that they killed the girl from Aliens, considering that was the whole emotional core of that movie and fundamentally changed Ripleys character. She had her daughter taken away from her by the circumstances involved with stasis and became nihilistic and didn’t value her own life anymore, the girl character humanises her again and gives her something to live for, so I think continuing that storyline would have been a much better direction for the series to take.

    That being said I do have some respect for continuity and you could easily make a sequel to 3 without discounting the events in Resurrection as Ripley was a clone of the original in that movie, made centuries later. Killing Ripley at the end of 3 really fucked the franchise. I get that Fincher was trying to give the series a conclusion, but it was a little too final.

  • Jaws H20 – Because Sequels

    hi rush limbaugh

  • Jawstopussy

    i think she needs a cigarette now

  • Bubs

    Yeah, District 9 was like a modern day retelling of Cinderella. He made South Africa all pretty and high-society, and the aliens weren’t nearly black enough for me to burn a cross on their lawn. THANKS A LOT OBAMA!

  • tOmy`

    Yep.

    I love most of it the Episode 1 music. Although, as I said earlier, Duel of Fates is a weird title, since you have 3 dudes fighting.

  • tOmy`

    Good news for almost noone: Skrillex and Diplo topping dance music charts.

    #WubWubWub

  • Three Stars

    “He made South Africa all pretty and high-society, and the aliens weren’t nearly black enough”

    hmmm… true!?
    You know, if you’re trying to be sarcastic your task would be to point out inconsistencies, not flesh out my claim.

  • tOmy`

    As I said few posts below when I wrote a super awesome script for Alien5:

    I love the movies for what they are, but do we really need to focus on the plot / characters of what happened before? I think that the whole charm stems from the:
    1) Atmosphere
    2) Industral-ish feeling
    3) Darkness and fear
    4) Aliens design

    While I love characters from the first 2 movies and the way they work together (marines in the 2nd one are awesome), I don’t think that we really need to get back to “changing” story, ignoring plot lines etc. Just make the basics work and put in some other characters. Make them generic and interesting and if you manage to make the basics work, you are in the home stretch already.

  • tOmy`

    While I agree, from my point of view, this little gem is unbeatable:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpj1DYK4fCs

  • tOmy`

    I think that Depp is fine, he just needs to start working with different people making different movies.

    I like him on the screen.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    yes… i know….

  • Andrew Thompson.

    white people are useless. they should be ground up into a nutrient rich protein based paste for the third world.
    we could call it “White Goo.”

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I wish all dubstep fans would have their ears/nose bleed out, jumping out windows to their death.

    Key and Peele: making my dreams a reality.

  • tOmy`

    Thanks! That’s a nice start to my morning.

    *sobs*

  • Andrew Thompson.

    that was the only thing good about them…
    http://youtu.be/hEcjgJSqSRU

    but even Weird Al backed out after he saw the mess the prequels were becoming.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I prefer Legos myself.

  • Three Stars

    Go back to your jungle and live without white inventions, since their useless. At least be consistent, you hysterical ape.

  • Jawstopussy

    i take it the Step Up franchise are some of your favorite movies then

  • Andrew Thompson.

    crunchy dub step is better than more pop lalalalal da la. bullshit.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    we are all apes monkey boy. go on name some white inventions?

  • tOmy`

    dubstep.

  • Like Icare

    That would be blackmail.

    And that’s racist.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Lincoln logs, baby. Because I prefer all my houses to look the same!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    BOOOM! GiGiGIGGGA, doof!

  • tOmy`

    Speaking of dubstep: LEGO Architect sets look really neat. Wish I had more money :<

  • Like Icare

    True dat.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I think that “lalalalal da la. bullshit” is the best Skrillex lyric that’s ever been written.

  • Devin Morse

    Mike’s quip “I liked District 9 before it was called Chappie” pretty much sums up this review while ironically refuting it. Every criticism here can be equally applied to D9.

  • tOmy`

    It is also a nice benchmark test for your new subwoofer.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Htm_956k5ps

  • tOmy`

    *Ba-dum-wobwobwobwob

  • omitted

    I prefer a different kind of white goo.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    its his new single. i got 5 million for that.

  • Three Stars

    I can’t imagine that you’re so stupid as to be unable to answer your own question.
    Anyway, arguing with a nigger is as useful as arguing with a chimp (kind of figures, I guess), so I’ll decline.

  • tOmy`

    SHOTS FIRED

    SHOTS FIRED

  • tOmy`

    I am stealing this, sorry.

    Perfect.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    to be honest i prefer some ‘Old School’ for that…

    http://youtu.be/wmwGGLrDvfE

  • omitted

    *porn

  • Domo_Konnichiwa
  • omitted

    *wankman

  • tOmy`

    My AV called it “suspicious”. It doesn’t want my childhood ruined, I guess.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    so you’re saying that you’re incapable of making an argument….

    and who said i was black?

    https://scontent-lax.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/216392_590076627677806_307956507_n.jpg?oh=0e79fc3d16001a166b1e0872a1047ba7&oe=557717C8

  • Bubs

    Confirmed for black.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    To be fair, Triel of Fates would have been weird too.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    run for cover! this is going to be fun….

  • Andrew Thompson.

    SHHHHH! dont give the game away.

  • tOmy`

    That whole song should have been renamed to:

    “What Does It Power, The Universe Overture”

  • Andrew Thompson.

    still full of protein!

  • tOmy`

    *probe-in

  • Jawstopussy

    Australopithecus is a big word, lets not confuse it

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Australopithecine!

  • omitted

    Yes Domo, embrace the lechery!

  • Jawstopussy

    but who’s counting 😛

  • omitted

    In the manhole?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Well, from my point of view the Jedi are evil.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    three stars… he can count to three. he’s a big boy now…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    the Manhole is the best place to hide…. your cock!

  • Bubs

    Sure, it’s easy to act tough when you’re THIS handsome.

    https://paulboylan.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/confused-redneck1.jpg?w=450&h=298

  • tOmy`

    I thought you have a permanent residence there after the last BotW.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    “wow thats really interesting… do you have pamplets about the Sith? to help me chose wich side of the force i want to join.” From the church of Latter day Siths.

  • Jawstopussy

    he’s just got the shits cause his mom won’t sleep with him anymore

  • Bubs

    More good news: Transformers 4 smashes box office records, changing the way movies are made forever.

    #PopularIsNotBetter

  • omitted

    I bribed the bouncers to alert me when Jay arrives.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i knew i could hear something….
    http://youtu.be/myhnAZFR1po

  • tOmy`

    For Omie: This is an interesting piece of information I was able to find out:

    Manhole is indeed a night club / strip club featuring half naked blokes. However, the location of this bar is not in L.A. It is: Chicago. Now knowing, that Mike and Jay visited Chicago at least on one occasion that we know of (without considering the immediate proximity of Chicago and Milwaukee, which should boost their number of visits), it is quite odd that Mike have chosen this exact name to say in the episode.

    Take it as you will. (From behind I suppose)

  • Andrew Thompson.

    thats kinda sweet. Mike is jealous of Omie and Jay….

  • tOmy`

    “Just hit me on this pager number – I have the device hidden in my trousers, so I don’t waste any time”

  • Three Stars

    Well, I was trying to keep a positive outlook in regards to you by assuming you’re a nigger, since self-hating whites are some of the lowest forms of humanity imaginable. Then again, you might be some other sort of POC. Oh, and please tell me if I used that correctly, cause, you see, not being an American I’m not all that familiar with its meaning, but I reckon it stands for either “pieces of crap” or “perpetually offended cunts”, judging by the… people it is generally attributed to.
    And btw, I was saying that *you* are incapable of understanding an argument. But no fault done, I don’t blame you for having a poor ability of interpreting basic sentences, just the way you were born, I guess.

  • Jawstopussy

    wow man thats deep, did it take you all day to think that one up

  • Andrew Thompson.

    it took you that long to say… nothing? i can do that in a minute… see!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    you do know in 15 years mexico will kick all the whites out of america. and you will all have to live in canada. as slaves….

  • omitted

    I prefer reverse cowgirlboy.

  • tOmy`

    Me too! With sombreros.

    And chains.

  • Bubs

    Is that sorta like how you can’t stop being white trash? Years of in-breeding just muddies the gene pool. You got sister-fuckin in the veins.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i am literally a cowboy…. it doesn’t help get me laid.

  • tOmy`

    You need to reverse.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    you know how you become the thing you hate…. welcome to my world Bubs.

    https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-Nh7syyYHUX0/VLJMf1VF90I/AAAAAAAAAIQ/dNcJ-kKYcqQ/w846-h569-no/1375247014_199022-we_all_float_down_here_.jpg

    life wouldn’t be the same without you.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i did… and ran over the dog……

  • tOmy`

    Well, I don’t want to exactly step in and get my knickers dirty, but “self-hating-whites”? What exactly is that supposed to mean? Like… we shouldn’t joke about ourselves?

    Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against going too far, but throwing n-words around as an insult always makes me feel a bit icky.

  • Jawstopussy

    thats what ya call doggy style

  • Andrew Thompson.

    thats what i said!… it didnt go down well….

  • tOmy`

    When “going down” doesn’t go well, it’s time for counseling.

  • Bubs

    The great thing about this song is that it really touches on what it means to be human. The lyrics speak to the struggles of growing up in a poverty stricken society, working your way up in the world, and finally getting to a place where you can really be happy. It’s just show a little glimmer of the human soul, which is what all the best art does.

    Oh wait, no it doesn’t. It’s just garbage truck sounds.

  • Jawstopussy

    hehe nice one lol

  • tOmy`

    It does in fact represent something: FP’s twist on dubstep, going over the top, in your face with the bass (unlike many other “mainstream” dubstep producers). Could be argued that this is their take on this music / garbage, as they seemed to follow this approach till now.

    Considering that most of the dubstep producers chose a different approach also showcases that this is not only about “transformers having sex”, but that there are, in fact, different possibilities on how to produce dubstep – making it furthermore interesting field to explore.

    But as I said previously, I don’t blame people not liking this. I understand. It’s not about hating, it’s about musical preferences – just like any other genre.

    *drops mic AND bass*

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    Racial trolling on the RLM comment section?

    That’s right, Jay! It’s gonna be great.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i’m having fun. i have been called a nigger, thats a first.

  • Bubs

    “about musical preferences”

    This only applies to music, not garbage truck sounds.

  • Bubs

    I hope this isn’t too far. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0itOCgJtNVU

  • Andrew Thompson.

    just to be clear. my grand father was Wiradjuri. all the rest were irish convicts or scottish seamen. and we’re all Australian.
    basically everything anyone says i can take as racist.

  • omitted

    *semen

  • Bubs

    *jizm

  • Andrew Thompson.

    sometimes massive noise is called for. ask Prometheus Schott.

  • Jawstopussy

    so what youre saying is your just a homo, like the rest of us

  • omitted

    In Latin we’re all just a bunch of homos.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Bug Powder Dust!!!!

    http://youtu.be/trbvx1U6Ry8

    i died posting this the 2nd time.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Et Hominis.

  • Jawstopussy

    le homo-sapien.. the french might say

  • Andrew Thompson.

    RACIST!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    no. it would be Bonhomme.

  • Jawstopussy

    royale with cheese

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Le Royale du Fromage?

  • Jawstopussy

    menage e threesome

  • omitted

    I guess the local cineplex doesn’t want me to see Chappie either, judging by their screening schedule. Fyuck it, I’ll trust Jay (and Mike) on this one.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    its funny i cant spell english for shit and can correct frenchgermanlatinspanish spelling?…. WTF!

  • omitted

    What does counselor Troi have to do with this?

  • Jawstopussy

    just means your bi… lingual

  • Jawstopussy

    well she does have a nice rack

  • Andrew Thompson.

    shit how many times can mind rape be used as a metaphor?

  • Three Stars

    Took you a minute to write a sentence!?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    who remembers Bi ling?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    it took you an hour. really? and it wasn’t even funny….
    one star.

  • Three Stars

    Well, sorry for the wait, I kind of abandoned our conversation.

  • omitted

    (creepy voice) Imzadi!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    the sad thing is this will be gone soon…
    i will miss this chat.

  • omitted

    *crack

  • Andrew Thompson.

    the answer was both… but i’ll pay that.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    *sack?

  • Jawstopussy

    now that would make pic-hard

  • omitted

    You’re getting your telepaths and psychics mixed up.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Empath!

  • omitted

    I have none.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    y?

  • Jawstopussy

    speaking of nice racks

  • Andrew Thompson.

    thats what the Chinese Secret Service said….

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    No no, this is a zen thing.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Don’t ruin the moment.

  • omitted

    *sin

  • omitted
  • tOmy`

    You see, this is the problem: People judge dubstep before ever listening to it properly – basing their opinions on 9gag jokes.

    Dubstep, as much as any other genre, deserves an attention, as the production behind many of these things can get time consuming and frustratingly hard.

    I can turn the tables around as well: Consider any modern pop rock band. They have a producer, who helps them sound the way they do, their lyrics are nowhere near interesting (most of the time) and then they just throw their one-week recordings into a PC, auto-tuning and auto-pitiching the living fuck out of it. Then, if they are really brave, use auto-tune live, to dodge the bullet of being awful.

    Now, for the sake of argument, consider Skrillex: He is his own producer and everything he does (or did) had to be build from ground up. When he started, dubstep did not sound anything like the sound he produces. Sure, the BPM is pretty much set since 90s, but that is about it.
    He then has to go lengths to find proper samples, effects, loops, understand to massive degree how drum kits work, possibly learning piano to make the process less time consuming and then work with harmony / disharmony to create a sound that people will find enjoyable / cool. His work on a single drop may take good portion of a week.
    And that doesn’t even cover what means “DJing live”. That’s another 9 hours long conversation.

    As I said, this is all just for the sake of an argument: Sure, we can continue by arguing if it’s better to spend some time in studio and then let the pc take care of it, or whether is it better to “cooperate” with pc to create something different. And many other similar arguments.

    I just wanted to point out a reason why I think that “production” in general (especially in electronica) is massively misunderstood. Just consider how many great dubstep DJs we have and how many “great” pop-rock bands we have. I think that should paint the picture of what is “harder”.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    yeah but you know the end of the argument is red fool!
    the fucking useless cunt.

  • omitted

    I’ve always been pro-teen.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    No… just boring, boring.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    too soon. like a fine wine you must let your teen age….

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Chappie love Omitted. ; ; Why Omitted no come visit Chappie?

  • omitted

    Isn’t it past your curfew?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Jay hates robots…
    and where Jay leads Omie will follow.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    my mum said it was fine.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    God, loook at it, it thinks it’s clever.

  • omitted

    Why do we always gang up on these guys… and not in the way I would enjoy?

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    Because fuck racism, that’s why. Up the ass.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    There goes my idea calling us “RLM Clan”

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Where? Get ‘im!

  • omitted

    How about a cult?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Will there be virgins?

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • omitted

    Aren’t we all?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Not the type of virgins you were hoping for, but yeah.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i’m a virgin….

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i would feel comfortable in a cult.

  • omitted

    Do you speak from experience?

  • Earth

    John Williams almost always delivers.

    On the topic of Star Wars, anyone else realise that Harry S. Plinkett has essentially burned himself into the Star Wars mythos? I wouldn’t be surprised that in a decade’s time when the history of the Star Wars phenomenon is written Plinkett will be mentioned as that guy who resparked interest in the prequels and highlighted how terrible they actually were.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i was raised catholic. so yes.

  • Jawstopussy

    yeah, sure it is 😛

  • omitted

    With Troi?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    #RememberThatWhenTheNextGenericMarvelMoopieComesAround

  • omitted

    Swastika: PopularIsn’tAutomaticallyBadEither

  • omitted

    Better check with Domo too, just to be sure.

  • Jawstopussy

    like your mummy abandoned you, at birth

  • Bubs

    I just think that Dubstep fails to attain any sense of artistic merit. It’s the auditory equivalent of a firework. I mean you talk about bpm and drum kits and all I can think is “Big deal?” What’s the point? Why should I listen to a bunch of beeps and whizzbangs? What do I, the audience, get out of it?

    If I listen to Vivaldi or Justin Beiber, there’s something the artist is trying to say, even if the message is “I wanna tap dat azzz gurl”. I feel like if I sat any Dubstep artist down and asked what their music was trying to accomplish I would get a blank stare or they’d say “ITS TO DANCE TO, BOYEEEEE”. And worst of all, this style of music has begun to infect other genres. Every song on the radio these days sounds like it was remixed by a person with short-term memory loss: just infinite repetition.

    I respect your musical opinion, but I reject it as void. I know that sounds rude and I don’t mean to be, it’s just how I feel.

  • omitted

    ‘Cause my father never loved me! *cries*

  • Bubs

    At Halloween we can all dress up as ghosts!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Points taken. When it comes to music — a variety of such — you are The Man Cheerleader.

    However, I never have, nor will I ever, base my enjoyment on art on how “hard” it might or might not have been to make. That’s for consideration when giving out technical merit awards, and I don’t give out technical merit awards. The only thing that matters to me is: Does it make my ears happy or not.

    When I hear “dub”, I automatically think of a type of reggae. That’s because I’m old. I don’t even know what “dubstep” is, to be honest, but if it moves a person, it moves a person. Therefore, it’s valid. To that person. Same with lame-o rock. If some mid-aged housewife gets wet when watching Phillip Phillips on American Idol, I’m just being a dyck, picking on her.

    But I’m gonna continue to be a dyck. I’m just sayin.’

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I think he plagiarized gaGa.

  • Jawstopussy

    hehe thats good

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    #But”Usually”WorksIfWe’reArguingAdjectives

  • WrongWithYourFace

    “Just the way I like ’em”, eh?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Charts.

    Don’t tell Taco this, but I fyucking hate charts.

  • tOmy`

    From this point of view, I have to agree. It is hard to perceive dubstep as anything more than carefully crafted “party music” – you could, with A LOT OF leniency, call it punkish response to “the EDM establishment” – but that is giving it a bit too much praise.

    Hearing Dubstep live is just crazy, trippin party. There is, basically, no artistic merit in it – just people who are ready to get down and dirty.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i decided when i turned 30…
    basically all music is shit… except for my favorites.
    Sooooo…. Your moma.

    http://youtu.be/QYf2Dh71RgY

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Astral Pissing?
    Wasn’t that a Zappa album?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i just forgot the ‘y’…..

  • omitted

    Oh, well, never mind then. *wipes away tears*

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i love that one. wait, frank who?

  • In The Court Of The Evans King

    “What’s the point?” Come on, Bubs, I don’t like dubstep either maybe because I’m not into electronic music so much. But music doesn’t always have to have a point, Bubs. You should know better.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0X_wUflADA8

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i love you. and… i am your father!

  • omitted
  • Jawstopussy

    we cant all go as qui gon jinn

  • Andrew Thompson.

    you spelt Gin wrong.

  • Jawstopussy

    qui gon booze

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Here’s the thing I don’t get. Some of us can do our little do and get Andy banned whenever he goes a little off his meds, but NONE OF US DOES SH!T ABOUT THAT THREE STARS CUNT?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    search your feelings, and your pantaloons.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    thats better.

  • omitted

    I can sense your hand already doing that.

  • Jawstopussy

    because he literally sucks so hard he will suck himself right out of existence

  • Andrew Thompson.

    admin will be on it in 11 minutes.

  • tOmy`

    Speaking of feminism (was it feminism?) – Emma Watson confirmed for playing a role of the Belle in the Beauty and the Beast remake. All I can say is this:

    http://img-9gag-ftw.9cache.com/photo/anK4xLz_700b_v2.jpg

  • omitted

    Is this what they meant when they said “it gets better”?

  • omitted

    More like twelve years, amirite?

  • Bubs

    I hope Jay sucks me right out of existence.
    Inb4Omitted.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    nope, booze just makes everything better.

  • omitted

    But isn’t Belle the thinking gay’s girl’s princess?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    “What’s in there?”

  • omitted

    Luke Evans as Gayston! I could get behind that.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    a massive erection… for Jay.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    linking 9gag?

    that’s a paddlin

  • omitted

    You never keep that promise!

  • tOmy`

    I accidentally found this post AND the post about her role within one 9gag page.

    Made my day. Had to share.

  • omitted

    *bare

  • Andrew Thompson.

    beer?

  • omitted

    I prefer cocktails.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Hey, don’t jump to early conclusions! Maybe she’ll have lots of thwords…

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    boar?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i know.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You were supposed to say: “Only what you take with you.”

  • Andrew Thompson.

    with eggs on toast?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    what you see is what we got.

  • tOmy`

    I ain’t, I don’t mind the lady, I just found it hilarious.

  • Jawstopussy

    kokomo is the one redeeming thing in that movie

  • Andrew Thompson.

    no. no its not….

  • omitted

    Are you saying forcedream Vader didn’t have a massive erection for Jay?

  • Jawstopussy

    hey man no dissin the beach boys

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I wanna play Br’er Rabbit in the live remake of SONG OF THE SOUTH, but I bet the role goes to Serkis.

    SERKIS!!!!!!!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    fuck ’em. they are Aussies they can take it.

  • omitted

    Calling dibs on ‘don’t mind the lady’ for a band name.

  • Jawstopussy

    youre just a scientologist

  • Sully

    *Soylent White

    You had the joke right there in your fucking fingertips, Andrew,
    AND YOU DROPPED THA FUCKIN’ BALL!!!!

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    Fuck, why not Kristen Stewart, she already was one letter away. Or Kristen Bell, she is all the time. Or Kristen Schaal, because she is awesome.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Rob Schneider is remaking the Animal. andy serkis is playing all characters through motion capture.
    his ‘sexy woman walk’ is, erotic….

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Why not French Stewart?

    Racist!

  • Sully

    “Competent White People” lol

    You’re on the wrong webzone, pal.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    EEEEEWWW! too far man! i been called a nigger but i won’t put up with that shit!

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    Why not some random steward? Sexist!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    sorry i went for the Omitted Bait. sue me.
    but i was tempted to call it ‘Walter White’s: Soylent Blue.’

  • Jawstopussy

    it was stylistically designed to be that way, i cant undo that, but i can diminish the effects of it, threesome anybody?

  • Sully

    Don’t worry. He’ll be gone in 3 2 3 4 4 2 3, and…… A N D ? !

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    They’re literally gonna do a live-action version of everything, until they get to THE BLACK CAULDRON, and then they’re just gonna say, “Fyuck it.”

  • Sully

    Well… who doesn’t love Omitted *Bate?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    let the mods have a coffee first!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i’m Omitibateing right now.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Who will deal with my luggage then?

  • Sully

    My question is, what kind of troll comes to the Troll Kingdom to take a shit?

  • omitted

    *emotional baggage

  • omitted

    I’m in!

  • Sully
  • Andrew Thompson.

    thats like saying does a bear shit in the woods. or does Omitted like Jay, or is the Pope a child rapist?….

  • Sully

    I don’t think “In a perfect world” suits that particular question, Andrew.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i thought you said. “a perfect world”
    we used to have a smoking game about that movie…. all my friends died of cancer….

  • Jawstopussy

    its like saying three stars got his name from the three gold stars his mommy gave him for that extended pussy eating session he always promised her, yah he couldn’t even get to four, because he never made her cum, i could though, and she payed me well for it trust me

  • Bubs

    Oh my gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.

  • Sully

    *Sackage

  • Andrew Thompson.

    shhhush. he is dead now… let him fade from your mind.

  • Jawstopussy

    i may have gone too far in a few places

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I’ll handle my own, thank you.

  • Jawstopussy

    thats what she said

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i love that in all the insane ranting, sibling rivalry and wild opinions. we all band together against the FUCKING STUPID.
    Long Live the ComentZone!

  • omitted

    Like? Like?! You belittle my love, sir!

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    He might just be a pawn in a bigger plan to wipe out all of the trolls. Us!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    In all the places!

  • omitted

    I never cared much about the United States anyway… wait, Jay lives there!

  • omitted

    *cum too hard on

  • Andrew Thompson.

    not at all. the point is to say that saying you “like Jay” is a clear understatement of the reality of the situation.
    for example the Pope isnt a child rapist, he is the leader of all the child rapists….

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Now you’re just stretching it.

  • Sully

    He’s only a 3 Star villain. Hardly worth spritzin’ a shitzin’ about.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Now i lay me down to sleep.
    i pray RLM my soul to keep.
    if i get banned before i wake.
    i pray RLM will ignore it when i make a new account.
    amen.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    We stand right behind you, Andrew. You should wash more often.

  • omitted

    That’s what he said.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Australia has no water. Racist!

  • Sully

    Ever try stretching your scrotum skin out into a big bat wing?

    ………………….Me either.

  • Sully

    Is that why the background in all of your avatar pics looks like Satan’s kitchen?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    there are many great ‘Dick Tricks’
    Flys Eyes, Wrist Watch, Wedding Ring, The Brainiac!, Osama Bin DICKBAG(thats when you pull your testicals up above the dick to make a bug eyed hairy man with a big nose.)

  • omitted

    Andrew, I didn’t know you were part of Puppetry of the Penis.

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Sully

    The Vagina Monologues can SUCK IT!!!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Don’t drop the soap.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    all Australian males know dick tricks. the PotP boys just took it to the world.

  • omitted

    I’ve seen ‘tralian gay porn. I know.

  • omitted

    What does Jay’s Vlog have to do with this?

  • Jawstopussy

    hehe indeed 😛

  • Sully
  • omitted

    “Student Loan Relief is now following you on Disqus” Actually I was looking for another kind of ‘relief’, but hey, I’ll take what I can get.

  • Sully
  • Andrew Thompson.

    man you get all the weirdos following you…. oh, wait….

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Betcha Bruce Wayne’s had to do it.
    Because, Crime.
    Also. Because, Vow.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Jim Jefferies!!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i feel bad… i dropped this song quickly as a joke. it deserves more than that.
    this song is the crowning pinnacle of all your mumma! jokes if not all civilisation.

    http://youtu.be/QYf2Dh71RgY

  • omitted

    “Student Loan Relief is a quiet soul.” Andrew, if he also likes long walks on the beach, I might have to leave you for him.

  • Sully

    Part of that Eastern League of Shadows training, eh?

    http://i.imgur.com/tYALVth.jpg

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i live on the 90mile fucking beach! its like the 3rd longest beach in the world!!!! what do you want from me?

  • omitted

    Only third longest? You’re so dumbed.

  • omitted

    What the actual fuck?!

  • Sully

    I’m sure you can get lots of relief from students in Seoul.
    But who wants to live in Korea… I mean honestly?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    isnt that a Tintin graphic novel?

  • Sully

    Let’s just say my Google History has recently been refreshed.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Koreans?

  • omitted

    And your eyes bleached?

  • Sully

    If by “graphic” you mean “graphic” then… it’s still probably a no.

  • omitted

    I think Sully was talking about humans.

  • Sully

    twa

    *That’s a mistyped “Yes Joke” btw

  • Andrew Thompson.

    thats what Kim said.

  • Sully

    Probably the least likely to want to live there.

  • omitted

    Kardashian?

  • Michael Collins

    This prick is at it again?

  • omitted

    You found a mirror?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    thats what Kanye said.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    what did Michael Bay do now?

  • Michael Collins

    Yawn
    This place is like the sock shop for trolls..

  • omitted

    We have moved onto penises for our puppetry.

  • ikdks

    Oh! Mark Brandon Read reference!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    so after the nice moment when we all banded together to defeat racism…. some one had to shit on the parade…. there is always one.

  • Three Stars

    LukasThe Tapeworm eh… I can almost see you: A scrawny, pimple-faced guy in his early 20s that somehow seems to give the same vibe of a turkey. Always trying to be witty and funny, like the people he watches on Comedy Central. But he lacks the verbal intelligence and the social awareness to make people laugh, and his quips are devoid of any actual content and divorced from reality, coming up more as absurdist than funny. Lukas TheTapeworm… so “imaginative”, so “funny…” You were smirking while thinking of that name, weren’t you?

    Anyway, albeit true, my reply was a cliche, cliches are lazy, not facetious.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Can’t beat Jonah Falcon.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I blame Catsup.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Oh! Oh! What about me?

  • ikdks

    They only got this gig because they put a prawn in GaGa’s vagina.

  • Jawsy’s Day Out

    i knew there was something fishy about her

  • omitted
  • omitted

    He’s back!

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    Yaaay!. Now do yourself.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    In all sincerity, you just might be the most patient, level-headed guy hawt cheerleader I’ve ever met on the internet.

    My initial reaction whenever sh!t goes down is to get all-CUNT, but you just let it slide with a mild “bit icky.”

    10,000 upvotes, you!

  • ikdks
  • LukasTheTapeworm

    Go to sleep Andman, you gonna need it.

  • omitted

    *go fuck

  • Sully

    *There are always two.

    A Master…. and an apprentice.

  • Jawsy’s Day Out

    very nice

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Yawn.

    Michael will always return, no matter how exasperated.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    It goes both ways.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    Omi! You are being ever so rude!

  • omitted

    I just thought you were going too easy on this asshole.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    You of all people should know that assholes like being treated roughly.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    Exactly Three, have that self upvote. You were awesome at putting me down. Have a cookie as well.

  • omitted

    Tru dat.

  • omitted

    Nobody puts Tapey in the corner!

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    I have that turkey-like fighting spirit.

  • omitted

    More like a fighting cock!

  • ikdks

    Actually, this is probably why they got the gig (note the District 9 reference).

    And also, you know, dicks…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbW9JqM7vho

  • mister man

    Black Mirror is the only sci-fi inspired social commentary that matters anymore.

  • Bubs

    Nothing says social commentary like fucking a pig. Real high concept sci-fi. Eat a Phillip K. Dick.

  • omitted

    That’s racist!

  • WhatPlanetAmIOn

    That’s a pretty huge cigarette you got in your mouth. Just sayin.

  • omitted

    Cigar is never just a cigar.

  • tOmy`

    15 years of pro gaming and admining FPS shooting scene – that’s one hell of a school, trust me.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Sometimes its a big brown dick. -Carlin

  • tOmy`

    That’s the thing with electro tho – it came and functions as a “technological progress” of music. There never will be much more than that in it.
    You have all the wires, midi players, emulators, modulators, all the gadgets and all the toys – it’s the geek of the music genres. And (maybe) because of that, art / message has to step aside.

    That is both good and bad I guess – depends on one’s personal taste.

    The message of electro (most of the time) is obviously: Party and dance, people!!! And then it just depends on what do YOU want to dance to – and for that, there is like 800 different electro genres.

  • tOmy`

    Oh, and speaking of “dub” – yep, dubstep has “dub” in the name solely because of reggae – the “dub” part being beats per minute of reggae – dubstep uses the same rhythm. That is the reason why you can hear a lot of dubstep songs synced up with reggae, many producers implementing elements / instruments of reggae and many MCs / singers come from reggae scene.

  • tOmy`

    Lemme just point out something here: “lacking verbal intelligence and social awareness”.

    Weren’t you just now calling people the n-word and getting all high and mighty about “self-hating whites”?

    You may have to proofread yourself for contradictions next time.

  • tOmy`
  • ikdks

    …with a business asshole on the end of it.

  • omitted

    Judging solely by the titles, Die Antwoord has made a lot of songs about me.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Hotline Miami 2 is out and I’ll be playing it in t-minus 5 minutes.

    where’s my kleenex box at?

  • Three Stars

    *sigh* Stop commenting on my posts. The “issues” you find are generally to easy to dismiss and your questions are to inane to warrant an answer.

  • goolump

    Hey, I don’t WANT him to end the show, just seems clear to me that the fun is over. I guess a relevant comparison would be Harrison Ford or Bruce Willis in any of their recent movies…they clearly don’t want to be there, and it’s painful to watch them going through the motions. Maybe the lesson is you become what you hate?

  • tOmy`

    Are you trying to wipe the blood of your screen?

    Ahahahaha. And that is the only thing I know about the game.

  • ikdks

    You don’t know the half of it. Evil Boy is a circumcision protest song (hence the dicks).

    Apparently in south Africa, they perform circumcision by taking you into a bush, stretching out your foreskin and hitting it with a rock. If you don’t get it done, they assume you’re gay.

    So, yeah, you’re pretty well represented by these guys.

  • tOmy`

    Uhm… what exactly has one search for to arrive on this particular image?

    And why?

  • Bubs

    http://youtu.be/rJ214Md00vs?t=3m51s

    The end of this video is hilarious. Could Die Antwoord’s demographic and Letterman’s demographic be more different?

  • tOmy`

    Hundred bucks say that Yolandee performed this on someone at least 80 times.

    It would explain a lot. Not all, no, but a lot.

  • Sully

    Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to.

  • tOmy`

    I love the nervous laughter at the end of the song.

  • Kurisu

    lol I just made a post on The Order Video’s comment section. You single Dollar Store Cashier Wife? Eh eh eh. Any guy that wants to play Hotline Miami 2 is alright in my book. Rawr.

    I’m seriously freakin out waiting for PSN to update. C’mon! Normally I would get this on Steam, but Hotline Miami is amazing on Vita. And PS4 is cross buy. Plus it’s gonna be great on my 4k tv.

  • ikdks

    Whatevs, I’d do her, with the eyeball nips and all.

  • tOmy`

    I found her romantically irresistible.

    So yea, I would do her as well.

  • bruce wayne

    Sadly when I saw the preview I assumed this was going to be same weak ass Short Circut for the movie goer who likes ‘splosions. Although the soul machine aspect is different, but doesn’t sound like it was developed very well. Ah well, I guess this is confirming a pattern. Any movie where Hugh Jackman controls robots should be avoided.

  • ikdks

    You gotta hand it to him for taking the chance (and getting the name right). Leno wouldn’t have touched them with a ten foot pole.

    Letterman is the coolest old man in show business. It’ll be a shame when he’s gone.

  • its called bleach

    i dont get why both human robots and soul machines are in the same movie. isnt there enough depth in those concepts to warrant an individual story?

  • ikdks

    I wonder if some of this movie went over their heads because they weren’t familiar with Die Antwoord.

  • omitted

    “Stop commenting” Yeah, why don’t you follow your own advice?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    …No? I don’t know if you saw the movie but it doesn’t require any knowledge of Die Antworm to understand. They just come off as dumb small-time gangsters. It would be very poor writing, if it asked you to look up some obscure rap group, really.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    already put 30minutes into it.It’s different then HM1 but in a good way.

  • Bubs

    Hey you were in this review.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    SHARKNADO 3 to feature David Hasselhoff, Jerry Springer and Ann Coulter as The Vice President of The United States.

    Fyuck movies.
    Fyuck ironic casting.
    Fyuck douchebags making movies.
    Fyuck tornadoes.
    Fyuck sharks.
    Fyuck entertainment.

    #DropsMic

  • Sully

    Ann Coulter? Really? At least we now know her career is over.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Coulter? I wouldn’t touch her with Three Stars’ dyck.

  • Sully

    Three Stars has a dick?! Surely you jest?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    He’s ALL dyck. And don’t call me Shirley.
    Ba-dum-tsh!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Didn’t you already mention that? Or was it someone else? In any case, I appreciate it, as I didn’t even realize it while watching the video.

  • Sully

    I set’em up, and you a knock’em outta da parrrrrrkkkkk!

  • ikdks

    I haven’t seen it.

    But they do that Brett Easton Ellis, Post Empire thing, like Eminem.

    Nobody is really quite sure if they’re actually dirty pervey weirdo South African gangsters, or if it’s all just an act. They play themselves in the movie, right? So i could see the movie playing with layers of context, which a regular person wouldn’t get if they didn’t know the back-story.

    And since this is a south african movie, the target audience is probably familiar with them, in the way that I know who the Kardashians are even though I don’t watch their show (or sex tapes).

    But I don’t know.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Several of us noticed.

  • Kurisu

    I kind of want to see David Duchovny do another shitty comedy movie (X-Files last film doesn’t count).

    David Duchovny debasing himself in a Sharknado style film. *swoons* Bring out the cross dressing again too while we are at it.

  • Kurisu

    I wonder if Rich Evans gets kicked out of theaters often. Like every film he sees, he’s always screaming OH MY GAAAAAAWWWWD at certain points. Or that fuckin laugh. His laugh is angelic to us, but imagine how some would take it. Rich would either be the best thing to add to a movie theater experience, or the worst thing ever lmao. I also imagine that Mike doesn’t even stay away for half this shit anymore.

    You guys fill in the blank for what Jay does.

  • Palpatine

    Question time! So, what’s your favorite animated Disney movie? My personal favorite would have to be Pinocchio.

  • Kurisu

    Not Frozen. Fuck Frozen. So edgy.

  • omitted

    Me.

  • omitted

    Let it go!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Robin Hood and Little John
    Walkin’ through the forest
    Laughin’ back and forth
    At what the other’ne has to say
    Reminiscin’, This-‘n’-thattin’
    Havin’ such a good time
    Oo-de-lally, Oo-de-lally
    Golly, what a day
    Never ever thinkin’ there was danger in the water
    They were drinkin’, they just guzzled it down
    Never dreamin’ that a schemin’ sherrif and his posse
    Was a-watchin’ them an’ gatherin’ around
    Robin Hood and Little John
    Runnin’ through the forest
    Jumpin’ fences, dodgin’ trees
    An’ tryin’ to get away
    Contemplatin’ nothin’
    But escape an’ fin’lly makin’ it
    Oo-de-lally, Oo-de-lally
    Golly, what a day
    Oo-de-lally, Oo-de-lally
    Golly, what a day

  • Kurisu

    Hard to let it go, when you are surrounded by girls who think it’s the Citizen Kane of animation.

  • Kurisu

    Nice. so Jay is blowing you in the dark? Where do you guys do it? Sounds super sexy.

  • omitted

    *cane

  • omitted

    A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell.

  • Bubs

    What does that have to do with you?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Well, to be fair, I don’t know much about them but I didn’t feel like I was missing out on something. And they do play themselves but, from my experience, their act seemed to have been toned down a bit for the movie. Of course that’s due to the script/directing but still.

  • omitted

    I would have to say Beauty and the Beast. Even as a child I could only relate to a hideous monster.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I know. I just recalled Bubs might have been one of them.

  • omitted

    *clutches pearls* Well I never…

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    A monster who was super wealthy, with a big castle, and had talking furniture do all his chores for him.

    He could rock a suit, though!

  • Buk Pravon

    “Tangled”.

    I think its amazing. 😀 Much better than “Frozen”.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I would have paid to be there at that Revenge of the Sith screening with him when Vader says “Nooooooo!!!”

  • omitted

    I wouldn’t mind taking Rider out for a spin.

  • omitted

    “talking furniture” Hey, don’t talk about my mother like that!

  • Like Icare

    Tanukis. You know… those cute Japanese raccoon-like creatures.
    There’s a heartfelt Miyazaki classic about those magical animals protecting the forest from the man and The Man.

    It’s called Pom Poko.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAfqTDoqX98

    The showdown with the police is particularly magical. And unique.
    It’s just one of those things that you can chalk up under “This would never fly with Disney.”
    And boy do they fly…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=h9ICHGPU1Lg#t=5003

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Holy shit! Your mother is Angela Lansbury?!

    Wait, are you calling Chip a hideous monster?

  • Never_Clever

    1973 c.e. Robin Hood. That was the only Disney Movie I was allowed to watch as a young one. That and the Marx Brothers, Charlie Chaplin and James Bond. “Sigh”

  • omitted

    No, I’m just saying that my mom did all my chores for me, since that was the only part your description that fit…

  • Like Icare

    but imagine how some would take it.

    People like that wander into comments sometime. We usually point at them and laugh until they learn better.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Interesting that the female strip club (“Beaks”) Jay mentions in BotW “When Animals Attack” doesn’t exist… Confirmed for Omi?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    At least its not specist. Fucking Whoopi Goldberg.

  • Flaw Filial

    By the way, I’m going to be a dick and shamelessly plug my blog here.

    I mostly just use it as a way to vent right now, but as soon as I get out of my funk, I’m sure it’s going to be funnier… I hope.
    It’s gonna be great.

    It’s gonna be great.
    https://flawislaw.wordpress.com/

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Clan of the Cavebear, perhaps. But Bears are more Omi’s thing.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Where’s the next Half in the Bag??

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Same. I also have affection for SWORD IN THE STONE, JUNGLE BOOK, SNOW WHITE, and BAMBI.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Agree.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    One between The Little Mermaid and Aladdin.

  • omitted

    The Rescuers Down Under?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I just realized that either I haven’t seen a lot of classic Disney animations fully or I just don’t remember anything about them. Except for Robin Hood. And Aladdin. And Mulan. And Lion King. But other than that.

  • Flaw Filial

    It’ll be a while.
    I’m working on a new animated Plinkett as we speak to tide you over, though.
    I repeat, it’s gonna be great.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Well, at least no one has said Emperor’s New Groove. Plinkett didn’t even bother sneaking into the theater to see that one.

  • Palpatine

    There should be a movie called Emperor Palpatine’s New Groove.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    What about a Quick Cuts, Flaw Filial watches, Best of the Flaw, or Flaw Cop?

    I mean, hurry the fuck up, wouldya?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Would you like the Sherman Brothers corpses to write your songs for you?

    Maybe Tim Rice and John Williams can work with Elton John for all your love songs?

  • Palpatine

    I for one would love to hear; “Can You Feel the Force Tonight?”.

  • omitted

    Is it too late to change my answer to Wreck-It Ralph? It totally slipped my mind that it wasn’t a Pixar thing.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    “I just can’t wait to be Sith!”

  • Palpatine

    That would be Lord Vader’s song.

  • Flaw Filial

    Good news!
    “Flaw Cop” was picked up as an HBO miniseries!
    MY DICK’S GONNA BE ON TV!

  • omitted

    I’d buy that for a dollar!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Even with my 4k TV, I still won’t be able to see it. Damn.

  • Robby

    Thank you HBO, for continuing to exclude me from being able to give you money for your content.

  • omitted

    *Fap Cop

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I know, right? I feel bad torrenting Girls, too!

  • Kaingerc
  • Uh… Lion King I guess. It’s probably the only one I really watched in its entirety.

  • omitted

    Torrentin? I don’t even know him!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    All you need to know is Torrentin has one Hell of a foot fetish.

  • omitted

    *scratches my corn*

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You should start a Vlog like Jay.

  • Do you really want to end up in a terrible dance number like Han Solo did?

  • Flaw Filial

    How am I supposed to COMPETE with that?
    I’m sorry, but Jay’s got me beat.

  • Jonathan Jimenez

    Yeah I returned it yesterday, but unfortunately gamestop doesn’t have a 1-day return policy….so had to trade it in for $33 worth. Ended up getting Shadow of Mordor for $36 cause I’ve heard good things…and I like lord of the rings…but no regrets getting rid of The Order 1886, I got about 5% into the story and already knew it was going to be boring. And after i watched this review (hoping it would be positive….(-_-)), the game was as good as gone.

    I agree, quicktime events and the whole “guided narrative” gameplay aren’t horrible in my opinion. It’s still entertaining. But if you either don’t like the characters or the story’s just not interesting enough to even care about the end, then it’s a fail. I’ll just wait til Uncharted 4 comes out cause that’s actually decent.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I would go to a theater for that laugh and as long as he washes his droids after each use I’m fine with however he wants to watch a movie.

  • Pinocchio, Aladdin, Hercules, and Mulan were probably my favorites when I was little.
    I’ve grown really fond of Sleeping Beauty over the years because of it’s art direction, and I have a soft spot for Sword in the Stone because The Once and Future King is one of my favorite books. And even though it’s a Disneyfied version of a really dense and weighty Victor Hugo novel, I really love Hunchback.
    As for the more recent movies, Wreck-It Ralph has been the best so far in my opinion. I also really liked Princess and the Frog, and feel kinda bad it got thrown under the bus along with Disney’s 2D animation studio.

    Favorite overall though would have to be Beauty and the Beast. It’s just a damn good movie, and a great example of how to adapt and expand upon a story without taking anything away from it. Plus it has probably the best romance story of any of the Disney movies.

  • Sharknado: The Astro-Turf of Funny-Bad Movies

  • Cream-A-Thon

    The Sith will come out… Tomorrow… bet yer bottom credit that tomorrow…

  • WhatPlanetAmIOn

    I like your blog. It’s nicely written, feels honest and I can relate to a lot difficulties you’re having.

    Remember to remind us of its existence every once in a while though.

  • Look, dat ‘un is made of gold! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWF-hH1nloo

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Speaking of which, Tim Burton is making a live-action Dumbo for Disney. Where can I pre-order a ticket for that?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Beauty and the Beast was also released between Little Mermaid and Aladdin. But no, what I meant was my favorite is one out of Mermaid and Aladdin, can’t decide.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Wait. What?
    TWO Ghostbusters reboots. One female. One male.
    Really?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Is Johnny Depp playing Dumbo?

  • omitted

    And more importantly, do we get to see his ‘trunk’?

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    O.M.G., you watch Girls?

  • Sully

    Gotta check all those demographic boxes… for some reason.

  • Sully

    Peter Pan or Sleeping Beauty.
    Back when the term “animated” meant something.

  • Sully

    He’ll probably play the Timothy Mouse or the Ring Master, either way, the film will suffer his presence.

  • Sully

    The Little Mermaid Down Under?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Next up are the rainbow Ghostbusters.

  • Sully

    *Mixicans

  • Oh look what Jack and Rich released on the interwebz. This is glorious. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COy4N2fHUNY

  • Huh? Seriously? Two separate films? Does anybody even need a Ghostbusters film at this point? Egon is dead, there is no point.

  • Palpatine

    They weren’t cool about fire safety.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    There will also be a third one, with Chihuahua puppies.

  • omitted

    What about Andrew’s baby mama?

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    Wassup, nillas?

  • Epifanes

    Torrentin is just like Blombfkampf, the first film is the best.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    Is it good? I heard it is, but I am afraid of the cootie factor.

  • omitted

    I’ve got one thing up for you always, hon.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    Probably Mulan, but it’s been some time since I saw it.

  • WhatPlanetAmIOn

    Every Torrentin film is the best.

    *Not sure if I should make a Brain Medicine or a Check Your Facts joke*

  • omitted

    Both.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    A pearl necklace you say…

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Shame left Hollywood some time ago.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I heard Jane Austens Ghostbusters was in development, too.

  • WhatPlanetAmIOn

    You scratch my corn and I’ll scratch yours?

  • omitted

    You want one?

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    OMG, gayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

    Yes, please.

  • omitted

    Okay, hold still for a second while I think of Jay…

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    Try Hugh Jackman or something, I don’t wanna drown.

  • omitted

    Tatum Channing then.

  • Epifanes

    Alice in Wonderland. What can I say? I like drugs.

    Cue in the puppeteer hipsters to tell me what an idiot I am for liking any other version than Svankmajer’s Alice.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    I love the book, but I never found any adaptation all that good. Švankmajer’s is creepy, but that goes for anything he did.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Oh, right! Yet another thing I know about Czechoslovakia!

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    I see that our Starry friend is still with us. Andrew was banned twice already, I presume.

  • omitted

    The Great Evans works in mysterious ways.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    They will intersect and next we will have Ghostbusters Babies!

  • omitted

    You mean crossing the streams? Ewww!

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    It was OK. It left me a bit cold (pun intended, kinda). I don’t think I lost much of my childishness, since I love many cartoons and stuff like that, but, to me, it felt calculated. Like, I felt someone made couple of really good decisions somewhere, not that I was watching a great story.

  • omitted

    But… but Elsa was clearly a lesbian!

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    Slightly on-topic discussion stuff – what is your favourite performance in a movie by someone who is primarily a musician?. David Bowie has almost too much possible picks for me.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    Pics or I won’t masturbate over it.

  • Epifanes

    Yes, Svankmajer’s is creepy, and that is why I love that version too.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Wouldn’t a hipster like the Tim Burton one? Because NO ONE likes that piece of shit.

  • Epifanes

    That’s for the CGI hipsters. I bet those exist. “It looked so bland and arificial and lifeless, it was awesome!”

  • WrongWithYourFace

    And you care about this why?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Oh, believe me, there are plenty.

  • Epifanes

    *artificial

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    The Lawnmower Man is kinda great now.

  • omitted

    Gotta support fellow alphabet people!

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    There are internet holes I refuse to fall through.

  • omitted

    Aww, so my work here is far from done…

  • bruce wayne

    Not familiar with that one either. But does that mean it’s going over someone’s head if they haven’t seen something that this film is borrowing from?

  • Epifanes

    The Lawnmover Man was great when it came out! Or maybe it was the drugs that were great. Whatever the case I had a good time and a laugh.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    Oh, I’ve watched plenty of weird porn, don’t worry. I also said before that I did like Taxi to the Toilet quite a lot.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    the jazz drummer in Birdman.method acting at it’s finest!

  • andypants1989

    Tom Waits played a pretty awesome devil in Imaginarium. That movie was unfairly maligned imo.

  • bruce wayne

    Sure, but it’s never a given that the writer could make a second script that would be picked up by the studios. It happens a lot in films. Look at Spiderman III for example. Why too many things going on at once and no cohesion. Same with Batman and Robin, although those story lines just sucked, The Amazing Spidey II, pretty much any superhero flick that tires to jam too many bad guys into on story line. Dark Knight, Batman Begins both handled it well, but Even Dark Knight Rises started to suffer from, “wouldn’t it be cool if Batman fought …,” syndrome.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    I loved him and Iggy Pop in that little Coffee and Cigarettes skit. And Pop in Dead Man is just genius.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I dunno if I’d call it “favo(u)rite,” but Mick Jagger’s pretty good in FREEJACK PERFORMANCE, which is also a cool, if somewhat dated, moopie.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Right? If you need a GHOSTBUSTERS moopie, no matter what your genitalia, it’s available on DVD. If you need TWO, they made a sequel.

    Channing Tatum, Ghostbuster? Nah. “I ain’t afraid o’ no ghost. ‘Cause I rock this jock-strap. Yey-ah.”

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Ooh. Svankmajer’s gave me eye cancer.

  • Sully

    Dwight Yoakam Panic Room.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Jazzy’s gonna do The Crows’ tunes.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    AND Crank 2. Ass-flavoured ice cubes are the best.

  • Seriously… Channing Tatum isn’t really that much of a good actor, at least judging by the stuff I’ve seen him in. Besides, the Ghostbusters should be awkward and schlubby but confident in their own way. Churning Tantrum seems like the exact opposite.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    I mean, the guy does have some comedic timing and can act. But the whole project seems just…fucky. I’m tired.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Actually, see FOXCATCHER.

    You’ll be, like, when did a second Channing Tatum come around? Twotum? Is that Channing Tatum’s twin? And what’s up with his nose?

    Seriously. That movie made me reconsider Channing Tatum.

    Not enough that I need him as a GHOSTBUSTER, though.

  • Earth

    I think someone already said this but I really like Sleeping Beauty for it’s art direction. All those movies start with a story book opening and that one feels most “fairy tale-ly”. Also, I like their use of Tchaikovsky’s Sleeping Beauty ballet music. And Maleficent is awesome.

    I also really like Mulan, Beauty and the Beast, Tarzan and Pinocchio (that movie is so wonderfully fucked up).

    I remember really liking Lilo and Stitch but I haven’t seen that movie in years.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Die Antwoord is a South African rap group whose stars are playing themselves in a major role in Chappie.

  • its called bleach

    ice-t as the lotek leader and henry rollins as the doctor in the keanu reeves classic “johnny mnemnonic”

  • Earth

    For some reason all I can think of is all the guys in Blues Brothers.

  • Palpatine

    Busta Rhymes in Halloween: Resurrection.

  • Earth

    Great, so my love of Ghostbusters can be punched not once, but twice in the face.

  • tOmy`

    Jeremy Clarkson suspended by BBC: Top Gear episode cancelled following ‘fracas’ with producer

    Oh for FUCK SAKE.

  • tOmy`

    Urrrrm… Jack Black and School of Rock? Seriously, folks, no brainer.

  • Jawsy’s Day Out

    LOL

  • Sully

    Is he primarily a musician though?

  • Jawsy’s Day Out

    Slash – Dirty Harry, Dead Pool

  • tOmy`

    I… I would says so. Now this actually got me thinking, but I think his career spans out a lot to back.

    Case in point: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqFkqn9lLUI

    No matter what, he is one skilled f*cker.

  • Jawsy’s Day Out

    trick or treat m*tha f*cker

  • Sully

    I know he has a band, but he was an actor long before he and Gass started Tenacious D.
    Anyone remember the cinema classics The NeverEnding Story III, Waterworld, and/or Airborne.

  • tOmy`

    I think (and this may be a pure guess) he was fucking around with music LONG before it.

    I may be horribly wrong here, but I would still consider him “musician” in School of Rock.

  • tOmy`

    Pink Floyd in The Wall.

    Does… does that one count?

  • Jawsy’s Day Out

    Mary Poppins

  • tOmy`

    Also: A bit late here, but I came up with a great soothing song for the Three Star fella – I am sorry, dawg, you told me not to comment anymore here, but on the off chance you visit this page again, here is one for you:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JztZETJ4SaQ

  • Sully

    He’s definitely a musician. No argument here. He just isn’t “Primarily” a musician.

    I fucking loved this song of his.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FL4HSiGvk68

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    It would, except Pink Floyd doesn’t appear anywhere in THE WALL. None of them. You maybe thinking Bob Geldof?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Hated that moopie more than I hated BOYHOOD.

  • tOmy`

    I am sorry, but I used Wiki for this:

    Ten D beginnings: 1994
    School of Rock: 2003

    (I know what you mean and I agree, I just like to have my music knowledge sorted).

  • tOmy`

    Crap. Too drunk.

    It still should count tho, right? Like… fucking British flag becoming a cross covered in blood.

    Meta.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Yeah. Cool by me.

    I’d like to see Bradley Cooper shave his eyebrows off UNTIL HE BLEEDS.

  • tOmy`

    The train tunnel scene still creeps the living fuck out of me.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I do think the moopie suffers a bit from being all over the place. They shoodda done a straight-up live-action rock opera and then the animated gonzo version for the reboot.

  • tOmy`

    Honestly: My father LOVED to torture me with shit when my mom was away.

    I have seen Aliens, Pulp Fiction and The Wall way too early to understand what the fuck. So that being said, I have no clue whether The Wall rocks or not – it’s my memory on childhood lost too soon.

    However: I think that movie is just perfect. It could be just because I love the album so much I fuck the glory hole in the wall, but still. Gosh.

    Also, I lost my “music holy shit” virginity to Pulse.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You guys are all too young to know this yet, maybe…but it SUCKS when you finally outgrow your favo(u)rite thing.

    This is, sigh, Batman now…

    http://tinyurl.com/p2y8crb

    Well, at least I still have PLANET OF THE APES.

  • Sully

    The Fall Guy 1984
    😛

  • Sully

    Ew.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You ever listened to Animals, brah?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Wait, what? Please elaborate.

    Luckily one can’t outgrow Batman. One just ignores all the bullshit.

  • tOmy`

    Yep. I used to know Pink Floyd a long before Pulse even came out remastered on DVD.

    As I said, it was a soundtrack of my childhood (including a lot of we talked about AND your favorite ELO!!!!!). I knew most of it by the sound, but I really fell for PF when I saw Pulse… that’s like 7 years ago? Since then, I did my best to pick up on anything and everything. Final toll:

    Dark Side of the Moon is understandably one of the best things out there.
    My second favorite is Wish You Were Here – (ironically, not because of Wish, but because Diamond tracks)
    Then it’s the Wall.

  • tOmy`

    Foxy.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    The current “creator,” who is the latest in a long line of Batman writers who have written a bunch of successful sh!t, none of which is the least bit Batman-ny, is getting to reboot Batman. You know, for a NEW Generation! How long this lasts is anybody’s guess. Six months? A year? Of course, it’s all a sham. “Nobody” takes it seriously for a second. Except for the kid who walks into a comic book store next year to buy his first Batman comic and gets hit over the head with “I’m Millennial, and I’m cooler than your Daddy. Now suck my Batman dick! BWA-HA-HA-HAHA!” Oh, and me, who maybe’d like to pick up a mystery story about Bruce Wayne, you know, and The Penguin. Just for old-times’ sake.

    “Fuck you old man! And fuck that kid, too! I’m Millennial! I can do what I want! [guitar solo]”

    This is where we are now, pop-culturally speaking. The talent can’t sell its own ideas, so they gotta rub their genitals all over Daddy’s toys and act like they’re hotshots.

  • tOmy`

    Just to be clear on one thing: I may sober up tomorrow, but I WILL still bitch about BBC taking a crap on Top Gear.

    Sorry in advance, but this is my new Deus Ex.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I feel your pain.

    [See below.]

    I just don’t know what Top Gear is.

  • tOmy`

    *ga-

    *vomits*

    Exuse me…

    Cough cough.

    *gasp*

  • WrongWithYourFace

    And who is this current “creator”?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Sorry, bud.

  • Sully

    Tony Stark… or Neill Blomkamp

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Scott Snyder.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    That’s not Batman, that’s Chappie.

  • tOmy`
  • WrongWithYourFace

    Huh. I did like the Court of Owls arc, although that’s about all I’ve read of N52. I guess that was a one-off.

  • Sully

    Did he used to write for ‘The Maxx’?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I dropped off that when it turned out the whole twist was immortal zombies with magic teeth.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Actually, I’m all for it. Superman died (as in creatively) some time in 2004ish. Why should Batman be any different? Fuck Dan DiDio, fuck Jim Lee, and fuck the rest of the hacks running DC Comics.

  • tOmy`

    Dibs on the band name.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Tru dat.

  • Like Icare

    Looks to me more like desperately throwing shit at the wall waiting for some of it to finally stick.

  • Earth

    I’m pretty sure Clarkson punched, or tried to punch, a producer, so it makes sense that they would suspend him.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I didn’t mind that. I’ve seen schlockier.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Did I write “running”? I meant “ruining”. I meant “ruining”.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    That does look fun. Which of the old geezers is Clarkson?

  • Earth

    The tall big one without the long hair.

  • Sully

    Clarkson is great… and not to go all Kanye, but James May driving the Bugatti Veyron is one of my top 10 favorite moments of tv… maybe ever.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO0PgyPWE3o

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I don’t think so. The Maxx was before his time. He did create a thing with Stephen King called American Vampire.

  • tOmy`

    Heard so. I am (for some reason) trying to stay up to date on this story. And not just because I love Top Gear.

    Just because my Charlie-Hebdo lover FB friends kept on screaming about freedom of speech and THEN dissed Top Gear for a joke about Mexican food, because “that’s racist”.

    So I took on a stand – for the first time ever, when it comes to TV show – when I am gonna be an idiot and support what I love.

  • Sully

    Must be a different Snyder.

  • Jawsy Harry

    dont worry man it’s just ben affleck getting into character

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Wasn’t The Maxx Sam Kieth? Well, certainly the art. Not sure if he was the writer too.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Yes. In comics, often, schlockier the better, really. But, for me, that sh!t just doesn’t work with Batman. As ridiculous as the concept is, dude is supposed to be human. I’d prefer my human stuff not get mixed up with wonky comic-book fantasy stuff so much. Batman’s the one premise of all of them — maybe Daredevil, too — that works better when things keep at least a little “grounded.”

    Jeebus. Batman now has two resurrected sidekicks, has traveled through time, and keeps a pet cow around to fight crime.

  • tOmy`

    Absolutely. And the new season already brought up so many amazing things.

    Herding cows in expensive cars in Australia, Hammond and his dam experiment and so much more.

    This show is not racist or stupid. It is fucking awesome.

    EDIT: One of my most fav are Chernobyl sequence.

  • Morgoth

    You can check out my non PC take on the Chappie trailer here.

    Keep up the great lads

    http://nwioqeqkdf.blogspot.co.uk/2015/02/meet-chappie-hollywoods-persecuted.html

  • Earth

    I like Top Gear (more of a James May fan though) but Jeremy does seem to have been losing it a little this past year, butting heads with the BBC management constantly.

    If he did punch someone, then that is just about the stupidest thing he could have done, simply due to the fact that the BBC have been desperate for an excuse to get rid of him.

    Considering his personal views, the fact that he also works for Rupert Murdoch, and his general alpha-male motorhead attitude, I can imagine him being a nightmare to be around in the BBC.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    utopia was good to.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Rupert Murdoch is involved? RUPERT MURDOCH IS INVOLVED?!!?

    tOmy’! You didn’t say anything about Rupert Murdoch being involved!

  • tOmy`

    Absolutely agree. Seriously. He is a dick on screen. And a hilarious dick on screen for that matter.

    But from everyone who says “I hate Top Gear because reason #1 and reason #2” I always heard “I.. I have never seen Top Gear” as well.

    And that is my problem. For every “controversial” moment, there is 5 more hours of amazing stuff. I know Jeremy pushed the line – and after Falklands and the whole backlash, it is both understandable and both fucking stupid – but honestly:

    Do people, that love Top Gear, mind this? Are we bigotted idiots? Are we racist? Didn’t we all have a special smile when Will Smith joined the “celebrity list” this season?

    I know I may be a retard (especially since I am ECO-friendly fucker without a driver’s license) – but come the fuck on,

  • Andrew Thompson.

    you upvoted your self.

  • tOmy`

    That’s the thing: It is an awesome, funny, incredibly well shot and edited TV show about cars.

    And breaking world records.

    And doing stupid shit.

    Rest is up to you, but still… It is a great thing and a FUN thing to watch – because almost 50yo blokes do stuff you only wish you can, in cars you only wish you can afford.

  • Like Icare

    Not as drunk as Geldof here:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTj79x-tlWQ

    I like to think that he was backstage, “warming up” for the last song and just got shitfaced and passed out, so they had to quickly snap him out of it with liquid caffeine and then just pushed him on the stage with lyrics in hand.

    Instead of him… you know… being senile.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    So you don’t accept any supernatural stuff with Batman? I mean, at least they tried to come up with some shoddy scientific explanation for it, like with many other Batman villains. I’m fine with the world around him having some supernatural elements, as long as Batman himself stays grounded to reality.

  • Earth

    I know a few people who have been put off the show that they used to love because of Clarkson’s recent antics, but I don’t think many people who like the show mind it too much. From what I’ve seen on other websites it’s infuriating how people turn it into a binary issue: If you like Clarkson you’re obviously a racist, if you dislike Clarkson or Top Gear you’re obviously a whiny annoying PC-loving communist.

    The real issue here is that Clarkson may or may not have punched someone, which may finally be the snapping point for the BBC.

  • Earth

    I would argue Clarkson is in some ways the best (but for me) the worst thing about the show, as tOmy said, it’s mostly about doing stupid shit with cars, and three guys having a fun time messing around with each other.

    It’s worth checking out.

  • Earth

    By the way, I never thought I would be discussing Top Gear on RedLetterMedia. What am I doing with my life?

  • tOmy`

    Good point. No matter how I love Top Gear or Jeremy, this is an ISSUE.

    And an issue of this kind should not have happened, and / or, if it did, it is only fair for “us fans” to be resolved quickly and with clear consequences.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    /pol/ ?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    living it to the fullest

    #yolo

  • Earth

    Tru dat 😀

  • tOmy`

    I can understand why people get angry with Clarkson, but on the other hand, he is THE ONE who makes the show – he is such a badass presenters, in his age, while drifting a supersport.

    It is hard decision generally (while I do NOT mind him at all) for BBC. We shall see. But Top Gear without him is No Gear. I am glad that Hammond and May showed support.

  • Sully

    I dunno. I have an Step-Uncle whose younger brother worked on the Maxx (last name Snyder). I cannot recall whether he penciled, inked, colored, or wrote for it though.

  • tOmy`

    Seriously?

    Did you check out the latest effect, cinematography, scripts, jokes and they way this season has been done?

    I am honestly surprised that I don’t see more people being all hyped up about it – and considering “local” humor, I am even more surprised.

    ;D

  • Earth

    Yeah, I wouldn’t be surprised if Clarkson thought he could get away with his behaviour because Top Gear was so successful (and because he is the main reason for it’s success).

    As I said, I’m more of a James May fan (MORE TOY STORIES) and I agree with you that Jeremy is a great presenter with a fun personality, I guess I’ve just never really liked “blokeishness” (if that’s a thing) that much.

  • Morgoth

    Not myself but they do seem to like my blog. I’m not spamming here, btw, I’ve just enjoyed the Red Letter boys for a long time.

  • tOmy`

    Yup. Understand. I love his humor and style, but speaking for me, personally, it is Hammond who makes me smile the most.

    But, in the end, without either of them? We are in for a FAIL.

  • Earth

    I haven’t watched Top Gear in a good while now. Haven’t watched any TV in a good while either. What other entertainment do I need outside of RLM?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    When I was a child
    I caught a fleeting glimpse
    Out of the corner of my eye
    I turned to look but it was gone
    I cannot put my finger on it now
    The child is grown
    The dream is gone
    I have become comfortably numb.

  • andypants1989

    That’s good satire! You should work for the onion!

  • Palpatine

    I don’t why, but I’m really in the mood to talk about the Alien series. Has anyone here read one of the original scripts for Alien 3?

  • tOmy`

    New season is TOP FUCKING NOTCH.

    But, seriously, on topic with this discussion, watch the last special – Patagonia.

    This is the special that opened my eyes on the “hate Top Gear” topics. No spoilers. Just… just do it.

  • tOmy`

    I want to talk to you because I like you but… no. I didn’t. Tell me more?

  • NotRickBerman

    Reading? What are you, some kind of communist?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Here’s my thing. I prefer the X-Files approach. Keep it ambiguous. Go for the supernatural, if you can make it work in context. I mean, after all, it’s a guy dressed like Dracula. But, the thing is, there’s got to be a just-as plausible real-world explanation, because that’s what Batman is for — to figure that sh!t out. He’s more Scully than Mulder.

    Then, supernatural is one thing. Silly sci-fi is another. Ghosts, for example, *might* exist in the real world. A serial killer who thinks he’s a vampire? Lycanthropy? Cool, but don’t push it. Time travel and magic teeth and resurrection pits? Nope! That’s Superman or Spider-Man sh!t.

    You know me. I don’t dig superheroes. Batman’s not a superhero. At least in my little library of Batman stories that I like.

  • Earth

    I think I may know something about it. If anything, these controversies have been keeping Top Gear in the headlines and internet trends.

  • tOmy`

    Yep – and I have been following that, thinking what really happened.

    You sorta need to see what happened. Not just because it “clears” someone’s name or anything, it is just worth seeing for the shock of it.

    And the rest of the special is awesome as well. Fucking Lotus in swamps and whatnot.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Coming soon: Back to the Future remake with Michael Richards as Doc Brown, and Quevenzane Wallis as Marty McFly. What? Marty McFly can’t be a little black girl? Of course he can, he can look like anybody because he lives in our hearts. Also, what the fuck, are you a racist? Michael Richards was caught using the n-word, and he will be Doc Brown, why can’t you go with it? Besides, Kramer deserves a comeback.

  • tOmy`

    Ok, fellaz and fellaz-ginas: This was a very nice evening! Thank you all, just four last points:

    1) @pakentsaysmaybe:disqus and @Bubs – good chats today, I love to see the other side of the argument – makes me understand things I like even more (even in the light I would not like to see ’em)

    2) Top Gear! Top Gear! Top Gear!

    3) Three Stars? You get one of ’em for being vaguely hilarious. I hope you get your job “stolen”.

    4) Love you.

    XOXO

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Night, brOmy’

  • Palpatine

    There were several scripts for Alien 3 that were written prior to the final one. The most famous one was written by sci-fi writer William Gibson. It would’ve had the same claustrophobic feel of the orignal film, and have a sort of Cold War analogy as well. The only downside is that Ripley is in a coma for most of it. If you want to read the whole script, here it is:
    http://home.online.no/~bhundlan/scripts/alien3/gibson.htm

  • tOmy`

    On my to-do list for tomorrow! Thanks, pal(patine).

    (I am fairly sure someone else made that joke before.)

  • Cream-A-Thon

    If you love it – love it. I’ve watched it casually and take all of it as ‘jokes’, good or bad, stuff does get blown up. Except for the Hi Lux. That thing just won’t go down.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Debbie Harry in Videodrome always rings my bell. The bell piercing in my you-know-what, that is…

  • Jawsy Harry

    lol, deep space the future… and then stars and space ship coming into view… and then cut inside the space ship… never seen that before, i think after ten minutes of brain storming we could come up with something more interesting

  • Jawsy Harry

    i think i like yor idea for alien 5 better actually

  • Jawsy Harry

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JdWayrLXUs
    reminds me of this tune, which aint bad actually…

  • Palpatine
  • Jawsy Harry

    haha oh fuck

    no doubt he is also staring in it

  • Starring Johnny Depp as a misunderstood, alternative Dumbo?

  • No Shartlo Copley? No thanks!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Yeesh. Someone mentioned this earlier, and I thought they were joking.

    So, live-action Dumbo. There’s not a single human character in the damn thing. So, are they going the BABE route? If they go CGI, isn’t that just the same as animated?

    My brain hurts from all The Stupid.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I wonder who’s gonna play the crows.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I can see why they didn’t go that way.

    “We want a sequel to ALIENS.”
    “Yeah. I’ll call Sigourney Weaver.”
    “Nah. Call Michael Biehn.”
    “Wait. Who?”

  • Palpatine

    I wonder how the whole Pink Elephants scene will play out with Burton in charge?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Little Indian men in pink puppet suits, rapping.

  • Palpatine
  • Sully

    Penned by Transformers Franchise writer Ehren Kruger.

    C a n ‘ t

    F u c k i n ‘

    W a i t

    .

    .

    .

    .

    T o

    D i e .

  • Jaws

    rush limbaugh, bill orielly and sean hannity

  • fuckstick

    I would nominate Sting as Feyd-Rautha in Dune, he is just terrific. While many people don’t like Dune, I don’t think that takes away from his performance. But as a fan of the book, I think the movie is pretty good, all things considered. Its a great cast in any event.

  • Like Icare

    He plays Chappie.

  • Like Icare

    Nah… He’ll play either a crow or the mouse.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Johnny Depp was “The Big Bad Wolf” in Into The Woods. Just a thought.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    It’s never had quite the same effervescent sparkle for me after the first season, but I’ve still keep up with it since then. I just don’t talk about the show much, as I get tired of reading the same ugly-nudity complaints over and over again.

  • its called bleach

    “im not spamming but heres some spam”
    you got me tho because i read some of your thing, stopped when you used the term special snowflake

  • its called bleach

    ahaha for fun i checked your post history. your insights on “the daily slave” articles are thought provoking

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “I know that talking about “invisible bullies” makes me sound crazy, but I promise you, I’m just mentally-ill.”

    Ha! 😀

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I suppose at least its not a fraudulent sequel made 74 years later.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Even funnier when you realize he has a sticker slapped on his head that reads “REJECT”.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    So, I’m reading through some of your blog posts and your ‘College and Ego’ one hits a bit close to home. I’ve felt many of these very same feelings over the years.

    “I convince myself that getting out of bed isn’t worth it and that nobody likes me …”

    I’ve gone through many ordeals where I felt nobody really likes me. Nasty thoughts had filled my mind. I haven’t really dwelled on that too much recently. Either that or I don’t really care as much anymore.

    I still struggle with getting out of bed, though. Hell, just today I stayed up far too late and then slept in really badly, missing my morning class [only class of the day]. It’s quite often I feel like getting out of bed is a daunting task. Not sure why. I often feel rather drained of energy or drive. Do I need brain medicine?! :O

  • felipealexander

    Really thanks for the wonderful article as now-a-days, all the children who are all studying in the schools are all interestingly watching these programs in the television, besides doing the writing works. But to the real, it is making the students time to be a waste one. Besides, involving in these, it would be nice if there any programs to be telecast in the form of cartoons by any of the online proper essay writing services through which they can reach all the students in the world and make them to learn about how to write the essays and all without any error.

  • Thanatos2k

    If I could download a car, you sure as hell better believe I’d have 5.

  • Thanatos2k

    Batman doesn’t like killing. He LOVES violence.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFb2NExVIWU

  • Thanatos2k

    They don’t call it “The Crappening” for nothing.

  • Thanatos2k

    I saw Three Kings.

    That’s like the same movie, right?

  • Thanatos2k

    You should invent some kind of time leap machine and send this information back to the past so we know not to see Elysium.

  • Thanatos2k

    Sure! And we can add a few predators in because they’re cool and would definitely make the movie better!

  • Thanatos2k

    “A giant fake Plinkett is terrorizing the city….”

  • Thanatos2k

    No, the 108 page response is the second best thing.

  • Thanatos2k

    Do you have a little music player embedded in your swivel chair? Do you just listen to music all day while you sit looking out the window?

  • Thanatos2k

    If the movie sucks, he’ll be stone cold silent like the Robocop trailer.

  • Thanatos2k

    The Emperor’s New Groove.

  • Thanatos2k

    So you’re saying they can include his ghost……

  • Thanatos2k

    You forgot Glenn Beck

  • Ninja Jawsninator

    special guest appearance by Glenn Beck, and when we say ‘special..’

  • Ninja Jawsninator

    Half in the Bag will be right back after these messages

  • Ninja Jawsninator

    oh my, is that another goofy hat you’re wearing johnny depp, ”all the better to hide the fact i cant act my dear ”

  • They’d make him the antagonist. For more hack credit. Or to make it so bad the studios won’t think of making another sequel.

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    I wouldn’t mind that. Not in like apervy sense, I just like a realistic portrayal of sexuality. And then the pervy stuff.

  • Bubs

    Oh my fucking god. Me too.
    That’s hilarious. Literally stopped at that exact term. It’s sorta like “Thanks Obama!”. It pretty much invalidates anything else a person said, regardless of how well though-out it was.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i remember that they were better than the movie ended up.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    is english your first language? cause not trying to offend… but that doesn’t make much sense.
    its crocodile brain and lion brain all over again.

  • Michael Collins
  • Andrew Thompson.

    that would have been a great movie.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    depp can act. he is type cast as a bizarre lovable sprite.
    i want a reboot of Die hard with depp as Mcclane.
    or scarface… tell me you dont want to see deppy as tony montcoca.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i was surprised by the love for top gear. i thought i was the only sicko….
    my favorite was watching Clarkson eat every DatsunNissan comment he ever made. R35 GTR is GOD!
    I have two 1990 Nissan R31 Ti’s. OLD SCHOOL!

    http://youtu.be/YXFSVoVqhYw

  • LukasTheTapeworm

    Hiya Spammie!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i was trying to be polite. maybe they really are crazy.

  • omitted

    Hush now, stay in bed with me and let’s just cuddle.

  • omitted

    Hey, that’s not a pervy pun, now is it