Half in the Bag: Blair Witch and Don’t Breathe

September 20, 2016305 Comments

Mike and Jay are back at Mr. Plinkett’s house, discussing two recent horror films: The rebootquel Blair Witch and Don’t Breathe, a movie that isn’t a sequel, reboot, or the first entry in a cinematic universe.


Filed in: Half in the Bag

  • The Plinkett is weak with this one.

  • Bubs

    This is the worst Pinklets Review you’ve ever released! It doesn’t even have Mr. Plinko in it!

  • Variant

    Just in time for breakfast.

  • tOmy`

    There is a surprising amount of sited commenting on “Pets of 9/11”, but can’t find any actual statistics.

    I guess we gonna just have to assume that at least 10 000 animals died and just invade the fuck out of Narnia.

  • tOmy`

    But at least you get to read similar gems:

    “I do not know if any pets died on the planes. That’s very sad to think about.”

  • Tobacco Nass II

    I have not had this much fun since grade school. And I’m a Gungan.

  • tOmy`

    Goonga?

  • Tobacco Nass II

    No, I don’t don’t know. I failed grade school cus I was just having fun………….. wit your mothers arepas. jejejeje.

  • tOmy`

    That’s not funny, my mother suffocated on a cat on 9/11.

  • Bubs

    Since you were a tadpole?

  • Bubs

    Hey Assholes, you forgot to put in the timecode to skip to! I want my money back!

  • Variant

    If you want a movie with interesting cult/witchcraft esque symbolism, a very dark and weird tone, and a really fucking great payoff at the end – watch Kill List (2011). It’s fucking brilliant. Jay would love it I think but he’s not listening to me probably.

  • Bubs

    Post your comments on YouTube if you want them to be read.

  • Variant

    That’s a good point unfortunately. But hey, you’re here. Go watch that movie. It’s better than The Witch. I think I felt about The Witch the same way Mike felt about the original Blair Witch. “Cool… but whaa?”

  • Tobacco Nass II

    =:(

  • Gallen Dugall

    Mister Mittens was a cat in the World Trade Center who had been warning the world about the connection between Globalists and the deception of laser pointers. Conspiracy theorists have speculated that the attack on the twin towers was an elaborate Globalist plot to silence Mister Mittens.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    The technical merits of Don’t Oxygenate[Your Womb Space]were good but the script was such a burning pile of dog shit garbage. Outside of neat villain twist everything else was film school 101 slasher genre cliches. It was laughable in how cynical the attempts to make our heroine sympathetic were and just how lazy the ending turned out to be[which got some boo’s from the audience in my local theatre]

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I was really concerned about Rich’s back during the VCR scene.

  • Percy Gryce

    Yay, two more movies I’ll never see.

  • “We had one great film about a witch and this ain’t this one” – Then why the hell didn’t you review it?

    Also, that microphone was getting on my nerves. I was hoping it would pay off with some joke, like “oh no, it’s the witch making sounds!” but no, you guys went with your old drawn out joke route.

  • OrangeChrome

    It’s about time youz guyz did another dual feature HitB. Its been too long.

  • Recreational Outrage

    In Don’t Breathe, two of the three burglars brought backpacks. I don’t know what was in them, but apparently not bolt-cutters. It seemed like every problem they ran into could be solved with bolt-cutters, the one thing you bring to a b and e.

    Also, spoilers, the guy tells her “we can call the cops are take the money, I’m with you either way”, and she’s like “the greedy option that gets you killed”. Then, after she gets him killed, she calls the cops? Am I remembering that correctly?

  • Gallen Dugall

    JET FUEL CAN’T MELT CATNIP!

  • Mark Bisone

    I’ve got a splendid idea. The next time a film like “The Witch: A New England Folktale” is shipped, the distributors should rename it “The Blair Witch: A New England Prequel”. That way, everyone is happy (except for the ink fund manager and, ya know, Adam Wingard).

  • LameSame

    “Don’t Breathe” has been out so long, you could have done a re:View on it instead

  • faraday

    I really hope Nine Lives is gonna be the next Plinkett review! It looks like the kinda bad kids movie schlock Mike would love (Baby’s Day Out, Cop Dog, etc)

  • Mark Bisone

    His front is a little concerning too.

  • Navon Sensei

    The ending was pure gold. Oh Rich, your beard…

  • Joe333

    Many cats were killed trying to pick through the WTC rubble for dead rodents and from various lung diseases from the dust.

  • cyborg

    Many cats died trying to get us this information.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Whenever I see 9/11 footage I can’t help but think of all that luggage that will never reach its destination.

  • cyborg

    I’m sure the hijackers also brought some luggage so I guess at least that made it to its destination.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Nine Lives looks like a movie where everyone involved is being blackmailed into doing it.

  • I Shot J.R

    Actually, the cats did 9/11.

  • Mark Bisone

    That’s just what the dogs want you to think.

  • Devil_Dinosaur

    In all fairness, it only happened because someone pointed a laser at the planes.

  • RiverboatGrambler

    Hooray for RLM reviewing horror movies again, I was beginning to think it would be reboots and superhero flicks forever more.

  • Devil_Dinosaur

    No, they didn’t. Not only was the time code there, they made it so you could click on it to skip to it.

  • NilbogResident

    It seems like the new Blair Witch, like many reboot or rebootish horror films, have the blandest, most forgetful characters one could possibly imagine. Like the newer Carrie or The Fog… awful.

    Also, you guys should do a back-to-back HitB of the Kubrick Shining and the King Shining movies.

  • frankelee

    I really enjoyed ‘Escape Up the Stairs’ about some pranksters who annoy a paraplegic.

  • Mark Bisone

    It was a giant blue laser. Luckily, Superman arrived in the nick of time to punch down the South Tower.

  • Variant

    Well played

  • playdude92 .

    Something like Blair Witch and the paranormal movies belong more in the porn category for me. That it is to say they aim to rythmically hit the same, satisfying notes. Which of course, much like with porn, doesn´t work nearly as well as artisitc design, craftsmanship and patience.

  • zzzz

    ive got the same drone in blair witch. my friend and I were laughing because: the battery only lasts 30 minutes. it can go over 2 miles, unlike their 700 meters, and no one in their right mind would fly it through those dense woods. its a $1500 piece of equipment. Its called the DJI Phantom 4 btw. also the camera and ipad was different. it uses its own controller to move, ipad to see, and has a 20mm 4k camera on it.

  • MikeFromCanmore

    I still haven’t seen Civil War. is it any good ?

  • DanceOfBirther

    Yes, I do know.

  • LameSame

    If any pets were lost in 9/11, you mean?

  • discojoe

    Is Half in the Bag replacing Mike Stoklasa’s taint?

  • I’d quite like to see Jay force Mike to watch A Field In England for a re:view episode.

  • Alex Doucet

    Captains Log Star Date 43489.2
    Log entry 1:

    We have arrived at Angosia 3, a planet that has expressed a strong desire for membership in the federation. Prime minister Nayrok has taken commander Riker and I on a tour of the capital city. They are a peaceful people rooted in a deep foundation of reasoning and logic. So far I cannot see any good reason why they should not be allowed to join us.

    Log entry 2:

    After a tour of this “Utopian like” city I am greatly impressed with all they have accomplished and with the amount of control and order in which their society functions. However, I am still curious as to how the Angosians were able to recover from the Tarsian War so quickly. When we inquired about this, prime minister Nayrok was less than comfortable with the discussion.

    Log entry 3:

    It appears that a prisoner as has escaped from a colony on Luna 5, which is a maximum security prison on Angosia 3. Nayrok has requested federation assistance in resolving the matter due to the fact that his civilian pilots lack the necessary combat experience. The prisoner has hijacked a transport ship and is considered armed and extremely dangerous.

    Log entry 4:

    After two of my security team were injured we have finally been able to detain this “prisoner”. Although it still remains a mystery as to why it took five of my men to detain him upon arrival.

    Log entry 5:

    It has become clear to me now that this is no ordinary prisoner. This man’s name is Roga Danar. Roga is one of many men that were genetically modified by the Angosian council in order to be pawns in the Tarsian War. After a swift victory it was determined that these soldiers were no longer of use. Rather than attempt to reverse the effects of the genetic modification, the council instead voted that they be segregated on the basis that they were too dangerous to re-enter society. But perhaps it was because the people of Angosia thought they would someday once again need their conditioned army to defend them.

    Log entry 6:

    After talking to Roga I am hard pressed to see any violence in the man at all. In fact the only thing I can see in him is a desperate desire to be freed and to be allowed to return home. Him and many like him feel the same way after being cast out of society and imprisoned because their government deemed it to be the most “logical” choice.

    Final Log entry:

    I have confronted prime minister Nayrok about the mistreatment and segregation of his people, to which he replied “I am sorry captain but this discussion is now treading upon matters of internal security, this is not your concern. I have dispatched a ship to rendezvous with you and transport the prisoner back to Luna 5. I thank the federation for its assistance”.

    A matter of internal security…

    The age old cry of the dictator.

    – Picard out.

  • Joe Syxpac

    “Based on a true story”

  • Mark Bisone

    Captain’s Log, Supplemental:

    My apologies. It appears that some merry prankster programmed the molecular equivalent of Targosian mushroom caps into my replicator’s recipe for “Earl Grey tea, hot.” The resultant psychotropic episode has left me incapable of fulfilling my Federation duties. I hereby relinquish command of the Enterprise-E to Commander William T. Riker.

    Or to that psychic bitch with the cute tits.

    Whoever stops my living quarters from melting first.

    – Picard tuned in, turned on and dropped out.

  • Chowderbatter

    9/11 Lives?

    Too soon!

  • Chowderbatter

    Actually, the Saudis blew up a cat on 9/11.

    You don’t hear much about it though.

    Conspiracy?!

  • Chowderbatter

    How the shit does this not have 10,000 upvotes?

  • Chowderbatter

    Toxoplasma gondii from the Grassy Knoll!

  • Chowderbatter

    Which, by the way, is a great name for a band, book, or movie.

    Dibs!

  • I Shot J.R

    Captain’s Log:

    Whoa this weed’s fuggin dank af bruh.

    -Picord out.

  • RLMkeepitup

    trailers are so obnoxious and generic now I can’t imagine it being worse. I saw one for Passengers. Second 1) fade black to jennifer lawrence, sec 2) fade black to chris pratt , sec 3) them making out. The End. ??? Yawwnn

  • RLMkeepitup

    Coming soon!

  • Mark Bisone

    Captain’s Crunch:

    They are the eggmen. I am the walrus. Goo goo g’joob.

    ngoS tu’lu’bej.

    – Pic

  • Chowderbatter

    Memo to RLM staff: Don’t ever say “creamy desserts” on camera again.

  • Astro Zombie

    The remake of MANIAC, I think, could qualify as classy sleaze. Has a kind of art house meets slasher film thing going for it.

  • RLMkeepitup

    did you eat those brain force supplements Alex Jones is selling?

  • Jack

    Gotta be honest, I’m surprised at Mike’s dislike of the Blaire Witch movie given his criticism of the first one. I’m with you on the characters, totally felt like actors and were the only thing that kept taking me out of the movie in the beginning. But once shit hit the fan I thought it was very effective. But I feel like everything Mike said he didn’t like about the original was done better here (except maybe the characters). He said he didn’t like that there wasn’t a clear mythology in the first one and I thought they expanded on that nicely here. I give them props for going full-blown supernatural at the end because I totally predicated it would just be another purposefully vague ending.

  • Jack

    The way I see it is, you could never re-create the rawness of what the original was simply because it was a product of it’s time. So immediately it felt like a “movie” no question. But looking at it as just it’s own scary movie I thought it worked. I felt like it had this sense of increasing dread as it went on. But that’s just me I guess. I like that the scares were still mostly all psychological. When they did show a glimpse of the witch (and I agree that wasn’t needed) it was at least very brief, kind of like the aliens in “signs”.

  • Jack

    I loved the time distortion stuff. This sequel definitely was the same movie in a lot of ways but I can appreciate that they at least tried to go a little farther with it instead of just making the same movie. Like the way the house never ended and the two locals said they’d been wandering for days instead of hours…idk I liked it man lol

  • Jack

    Man…I usually am on the same page as you guys but damn. Guess we’ll have to agree to disagree with blair witch. I thought that shit at the end about why they look in the corner with the camera was clever. At least it added something new to the mythology

  • Mark Bisone

    Like Jack, Jack, Jack and Jack below, I am also upset at your opinions about this forgettable cash grab movie. But I think we should slit our palms, spit in the wounds, give each other bloody handjobs and agree to disagree. It will only add to the mythology of our internet romance.

  • RLMkeepitup

    hai hah such story Mark! i’ve never disagreed with M̶i̶k̶e̶,̶ ̶J̶a̶y̶,̶ ̶ Rich. Get in line !!

  • Mark Bisone

    I am usually on the same page as Ricky Jay’s Media, but the line has gone too far now. I must be heard, over and over.

  • Jack

    lol, damn I did comment a lot haha. Idk I guess I was just surprised, just came from the movie so it’s still on my brain. Be a dick about it tho jackass…I thought the point of the comment section was to invite people to leave their thoughts

  • RiverboatGrambler

    Yeah, the Maniac remake did a great job of making a slasher film where the violence is depicted as disturbing and uncomfortable rather than just setting up dumb characters you can’t wait to see die. I also liked how it made the killer a somewhat tragic victim of his own mania without making him an outright sympathetic character.

  • RiverboatGrambler

    It is good. But Green Room is better.

  • RiverboatGrambler

    I don’t think the improvisational way they filmed a bunch of kids lost in the woods is a “product of its time that could never be recreated”, it’s just that studios today would never let you make a film that doesn’t have spooky ghost people popping out and going “BLAAAH!”

  • Mark Bisone

    No, this is the internet. The point of comment sections is to call each other names and post pictures of our genitals.

  • pvyuki

    little tight WHAT???!!!

  • Max Schreck

    I haven’t seen Blair Witch yet. I actually heard good things until now. Don’t Breathe was good. The Maniacal Cinephile had an informative and hilarious review on that one as well.

    Oh, and where’s the Plinkett review you HACKS! 🙂

  • Roman Neves

    “Aw shucks. LOL. Look what totally happened! LOL. I submitted four successive posts about my thoughts and I did it without me ever knowing! LOL. What a funny—sometimes crazy—guy I am. Tee hee!”

  • Joe333

    I want a Yoga Hosers review

  • Ogrot

    Captain’s Log,

    A self aware hologram of Professor Moriarty, the famed villain of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes serials, took control of the ship, again. After we deactivated his program the first time, we dutifully forgot about him until Mr. Barkelay stumbled across him while doing routine maintenance on the holodeck. Barkelay unaware of the nature of his sentience treated Moriarty as you would any other program unwittingly demonstrated the arch command which Moriarty used to hack into the ships systems. He demanded that we find a way to allow him to exist in the corporeal world which we lacked technology to do so. We solved this problem by tricking him into believing that a simulated universe that we created in the ship’s computer was the real one. He is now exploring it as we speak. Data informs me that the simulation he is imprisoned in will require 40% of the ship’s computers processing power to maintain. To compensate we have set all weapons to manual fire control and deactivated the automatic depressurization bulkhead controls.

  • But they also made it an annotation, which means it only shows up on computers not phones/tablets/TVs/consoles/etc.

  • Can Mike and Jay’s movie ideas please get made?

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Fat Jokes. I love ’em!

  • Bubs

    You realize they put that in AFTER my comment right? Like, that occurred to you? Or are you just doing like a thing?

  • Gallen Dugall

    JET FUEL CAN’T MELT CATNIP!

  • fred

    So… Atlanta is really fucking…dank… … anybody seen Atlanta? ……….. anybody

  • fred

    Grampa, have you taken your medication

  • tOmy`

    On my to-do list.

  • Malevolence

    Just put Mike and Jay in the basement. Commit some deplorable sex acts till they fix your vcr. Be Mr. Plinkett for black baby Jesus’ sake…

  • Joe Syxpac

    That’s fake Plinkett. He doesn’t have a basement, just an attic where he keeps his balloon.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    No “I Can’t Breathe” joke for “Don’t Breathe”? Disappointed.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I don’t want to see Blair Witch because it shows the blair witch. Just wanted to say that once in me life! *emotional sniff*

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I’m with yah – I avoid any Blair Witch movie unless its in 3-D.

  • Joe Syxpac

    I drank a Coca-Cola once while watching Adult Swim.

    That’s as close as I’ve ever gotten.

  • RLMkeepitup

    filmed by two shaky cam survivors, one viewpoint for each eye

  • Alex Doucet

    Would love to see a Half in the Bag on STTNG. It would be an appropriate punishment for Jay and his Blair Witch fandom.

  • SUPERMAD

    When’s the next 101 Wacky Kid Jokes?

    Or are you guys abandoning that idea for a Dom Deluise Joke show instead?

  • Malevolence

    Semen turkey baster?….. Must remember this next time my gf invites ppl I can’t stand for Thanksgiving

  • Malevolence

    Jay is mistaking “Period Piece” with a Chronicle series like American Horror Story or VHS

  • Thanatos

    Heyyyy I had one of those models of VCR.

  • Thanatos

    It started acting up right as Jay was complaining about the sound design, so I’m going to guess it was intentional.

  • Thanatos

    “I was beginning to think it would be reboots and”

    It was a reboot though.

  • Ogrot

    Captain’s Log,

    Commander William Riker returned from Risa with a most interesting virtual reality headset game. The game consists of feeding a worm a bunch of discs and it makes you feel so good. It was so awesome that everyone on the ship neglected their duties to just sit around and play it all day every day laying about on the floor like a bunch of opium den patrons. At the time none of us found this concerning. Then the game’s saleswoman attempted to hijack the Enterprise while we were all too busy feeding the worms inside our minds. Luckily Wesley Crusher who expresses little interest in fun was able to save the ship.

    ————————————————————————————————–
    Enterprise System Log

    Request 206-2 Authorization Picard, Jean Luc
    “Computer, delete the previous Captain’s Log.”
    Status: Granted

  • redletterjay

    It was going to take place in the 1800s. So, a period piece.

  • Malevolence

    The way you explained it, “The original idea for a third Blair Witch movie is going to be like a period piece, where you’re going to have 3 very distinct and very different movies” just didn’t make it sound like you’re referring to a period piece, didn’t mention it was going to take place in the 1800s at all. Mike was the one who suggested black and white silent era film.

  • Variant

    I thought he meant having the sequel based in the 90s since we are now well past the 90s (and it would make more sense for the character to look for their sister earlier on), but I clearly misunderstood. Same meaning, though, that would be a period piece.

  • Mark Bisone

    I thought he meant a film that chicks watch when they’re menstruating, like “Mother, May I Sleep With Danger” or “Look Who’s Talking Too”.

  • Devil_Dinosaur

    No, they didn’t.

  • RLMkeepitup

    before you camp ist important to check the calendar of the witch, orst the trip will be a real bitch

  • Variant

    I knew someone would make that joke.

  • Variant

    The moving twig monster bit sounds very much like Prometheus where a fish jumps out of a guy’s eye for no reason.

  • Bubs

    Jay, we miss you down here in the pits. You should come visit us more often.

    Also, why haven’t you responded to my facebook friend requests? Or my twitter requests? Or my instagram requests? Or my letters? Or my sticky-notes-scrawled-in-human-blood? Or the small piles of chicken bones I leave outside your house? Or…

    Oh… I think I get it now… You’re playing hard to get.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Too late pal. Next post will be in +/- 6months. You missed your train.

  • Which is a nice counterbalance to not wanting to watch Mad Max because it isn’t about Mad Max.

  • fred

    It’s really good tho — fo reals.

  • Ren1

    Any of the RLM crew going to see Snowden? I’d like to see a HITB episode on it.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Cast Away must trigger you.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Iron Man then pushed the Hulk vertically through the North Tower. The events were chronicled in Age of Ultron, whose age is still unknown (can we do links here? I forget).

  • CJ Croberto

    THIS IS THE WORST SALAD UNBOXING VIDEO IVE EVER SEEN.

  • Mark Bisone

    You should never ask an Ultron her age. It’s uncouth.

  • Michael Collins

    There was a reason, you just didn’t get it.

  • Joe Syxpac

    You have no idea how much it annoys me that they never tell you what’s in the last parcel.

  • Michael Collins

    I’ve never heard of most of those VCR brands, were they only for the American market?

  • Joe Syxpac

    Oh. We’re talking about a show I’ve never heard of, not a city I’ve never been to.

  • Variant

    It was too intelligent for me

  • LameSame

    There’s gotta be a HITB on Snowden. If they don’t see the worth in taking a break from pop garbage to watch an Oliver Stone film instead, then I have them pegged all wrong.

  • LameSame

    Actually watched it after reading this. Blowing me away so far

  • RLMkeepitup

    the urban market specifically, hence they are lighter and easier to run with

  • Mark Bisone

    This is the best joke I’ve read on this webzone in a long time!

    A+

  • That’s because the crème de la crème (aka the undesirable filth) moved on.

  • goodmatt10 1

    The term “redneck” is offensive to me.

  • Mark Bisone

    By moving on, do you mean they’ve gone “back, and to the left… back, and to the left”?

  • Ren1

    It really is sad.

  • goodmatt10 1

    Amazing to think 30yrs ago those would cost $240 and my parents made me dust them off and I couldn’t touch them otherwise. If I wanted to watch a movie they had to come do it for me.

  • Malevolence

    Default Avatars are offensive to me

  • fred

    (horaaaaaaaayy)

  • fred

    I’m sure the city’s fine too…at least in the drug department.

  • goodmatt10 1

    Never really thought about an avatar.

  • Malevolence

    How about a faceless avatar with a dark grey head, shoulders, with a light grey background

  • Herbert West

    Now you are making me pine for the days of Fake Plinkett, Rat-Face Guy, AIDS Moby, and Hipster Neckbeard. Little was it known that Fake Plinkett was original Plinkett and Plinkett was the imposter. So much innocence.

  • goodmatt10 1

    Perfect.

  • Like Icare

    They’ve stepped into the light…

    Of the oncoming truck.

  • RiverboatGrambler

    Fuck!

  • Like Icare

    Fish came out of his eye because Christianity.

  • Thanatos

    Mission accomplished then

  • Thanatos

    You just didn’t get the DVD, questions were answered there.

  • sigaba

    There’s been so many movies out of Detroit over the past few years because the state government gives producers buttloads of tax credits (or they did a couple years ago and have recently reeled them back after they realized they were losing money).

    It definitely works for something like It Follows or Don’t Breathe, but they also shot Oz The Great and Powerful, of all things, in Detroit, because the government paid Disney something like $20 million in tax rebates and they were able to shoot the thing in an abandoned aircraft hangar.

  • Variant

    Maybe let the rednecks in my area know that the racist slurs they use are offensive to me and then we can talk.

  • Variant

    Apparently SOME questions were, like “why are all these characters acting like complete idiots?”.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Resident Evil The Final Chapter. Coming this January.

  • Michael Collins

    Avatar is a blue movie.

  • Malevolence

    Why hasn’t there been a Don’t Breathe’esk Mr. Plinket movie made? You came up with the plot long before Don’t Breathe did….. remember the hitb episode where he comes into the vcr repair shop and thought it was a bank and then a pharmacy…. he blind as a fucking bat and he already smells like urine and semen I’m sure…. so give Rich Evans, I mean, give Mr. Plinkett his hooker abusing due

  • LameSame

    Because they’re dumb

  • goodmatt10 1

    Will do.

  • Bubs

    There’s a film on Netflix which I urge everyone to watch called “They’re Watching”. Don’t watch the whole thing – God No – Because it’s truly awful. Just watch the last few minutes, starting at approximately 1:18:00. You will be treated to 10 minutes of the most glorious schlock ever captured on film. It’s like someone was tasked with creating a “schlock highlight reel”. Truly BotW material.

  • Variant

    I’m talkin shit though, I’ve been called out once before for haphazardly swinging that word around, not realizing that some people called themSELVES that out of some sort of pride? I see nothing wrong with being country or backwoods, I live in a rural area myself – but I would like to know – to what do you owe your endearment of that word to? Consider it a cultural curiosity, cause I live in a rural area of Oregon, but I don’t think I’d call myself friends with anyone who would label themselves as such. Left them back in Highschool, where my class motto was almost voted to be “get er done”. Not a joke.

  • Jon

    Excellent segment, as always 🙂

  • Malevolence

    Only blue movie I’ve seen was, Smurfs: Anal Sex and You, it was Smurf-tastic-tic-tic-tic

  • Malevolence

    I prefer the movie, They Watchin’, made by the director of The Wiz

  • Malevolence

    Finally able to see don’t breathe in theaters….andddddd it’s empty… Fuck

  • Malevolence

    And….. Amazing movie

  • Tobacco Nass II

    FIRST!

  • goodmatt10 1

    Well, I was just joking in my OP, I’m kinda surprised how serious some have taken it. While I have been called the “R” word more than once, nothing really offends me.

  • frankelee

    I was expecting a new show today. Instead what I got was a no show. Still working hard on Space Cop?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    They are inventing a drink that will erase SC out of the collective memory of humanity.

    It’s called Bleach™

  • Malevolence

    On the contrary they’re making Space Cop 2, they still had a bunch of Patton Oswalt footage they didn’t use so… can’t let it go to waste

  • Palpatine

    Bleach™ mixed with Dan Aykroyd’s Crystal Head Vodka™.

  • Herbert West

    The Ed Wood school of film-making.

  • RLM should’ve posted the new Plinkett review just prior to the debates. It would have given me something much more worthwhile to watch.

  • RLMkeepitup

    donald made it at least have a pulse, but yeah its a showcase people will forget in 24 hrs

  • Variant

    But everyone has basically already decided who they are going to vote for, debates hardly make a difference, especially in this race. If anyone’s seriously on the fence about maybe voting for Trump, you’ve got some common sense issues. I can understand people abstaining (or voting independent), but not doing anything doesn’t change the way the system works.

  • Variant

    Nvm I just realized you meant more like he made it entertaining because he’s a nutty tv host, not that they matter My bad. I’m sleep deprived. I should take a nap.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I think the last pres that told the truth was kennedy, the debates are red v blue twitter fights at this point.

  • Variant

    Oh I’m with you there, except usually I mean it offensively but only to a very select population of crazy white supremecist racists (as liberal as oregon tends to be on the surface level, it’s actually just about split down the middle, and I think we have one of the largest populations of Klan members in the country), and to explain my counter-defense – when I heard about those white supremecists staking out some building or whatever I rolled my eyes and made a comment like “yeah I’d expect that with all the right wing gun toting rednecks around here”, and some lady came out of the blue (facebook friend of my friend I was commenting on) and gave me a whole extensive paragraph about how she finds that offensive because she calls herself a redneck. The thing about this was – I wasn’t referring to her… why not just call yourself something else? Surely she isn’t THAT attached to the title. But she was. And she made me feel bad. And this was on a comment line of an associate of mine who likes the Ghostbusters movie because feminism – so yeah I had to play nice. But people should undersand – in the same way some feminists like to roll their eyes whenever men get defensive and say “well not all men are like x”, and they like to shrug it off with a “you just don’t understand our plight” – maybe she just doesn’t know what it’s like to live in a state where there are hardcore racist groups when I operate in a multiethnic occupation. So yeah sometimes I go “psshh fucking rednecks”. And in light of that, I don’t mean anything negative towards country folk or people who like guns. Or even all officially tattooed white supremmies, that’s another thing I’ve been preached to about repeatedly – if you go to prison out here – you get inducted into a white supremecist group – or you probably get shanked. That’s some serious shit right there.

  • Variant

    so in other words – jokes are real now.

  • I think I need my drugs.

  • Yes. This.

  • Jessica Meyer

    Do yourself a favor and instead of watching Blair Witch try Devil’s Pass instead. Minus points for creativity because it’s basically Blair Witch in the show, but the end is much more satisfying and unique (at least in my opinion).

  • Variant

    I GET IT NOW. We went to space because christianity. Black goo? That’s satan. Fucking lost writers again.

  • frankelee

    Dan can slip it to the aliens so they forget 9/11.

  • instant relief

    =O

  • Tobacco Nass II

    So I just saw Ghostbusters 2016. I felt a sharp pain in my genetalia. The little guy hanged him self. Funeral at 4 PM CST tomorrow.

    Thanks women.

  • RLMkeepitup

    it looked bad in an adam sandler way. Now watch terminator genysis. when sarah is on screen theres an alternate timeline where your dick grows

  • Tobacco Nass II

    That’s racist against bad films. Support our troops! @9/11

  • goodmatt10 1

    Lol you’re joking right? The Klan, seriously? I generally find most people’s definition of “Supremacist” and “racist” to be pretty far off base. I’ve yet to see a Klansman, other than on TV, my whole life, and I live around “rednecks”.

    You want to see racist – drive about 35miles NE of me to Detroit, see what happens to you. What is this “building” thing, never heard of it. Tell me, off all the rapes, murders, assaults, robberies, in America every year, of all the wars in the world – how many are done by the Klan?

  • Variant

    Have you seen Green Room? Anyway I wasn’t naming the Klan the biggest threat in the world, I was merely describing in an overly long and sleep deprived fashion why I might think you were actually seriously offended by the word “redneck”. Because some people are. I’m not. I equate the word with the worst of what I see – and you’re clearly not taking what I’m saying the right way. Supremecists are a gang affiliation, like any other gang affiliation. It often starts with prison, but it leaks out into the world around me. Anyway I’ll stop explaining this is getting overly elaborate I need to not type paragraph comments on no sleep for no good reason. I HAVE seen them. In real life. Some of them are very upfront about what they stand for, like how some people still tote confederate flags, but in this case it might be something worse. Others I believe have just been roped into it so they can stay safe when doing time. They come back with tattoos. I’m not surprised you aren’t aware of their outstanding presence in the northwest, I wasn’t for a good half of my life. I mean, it’s not the sort of thing people really rep if they aren’t one of them, so people just kind of let it go on like they let any type of seedy activity go on outside of their peripheral. Can’t post the link without getting approval – just google “militia standoff in oregon”. You’ll get some hits, it was all over my facebooks people who don’t live in my state were wigging out about it, so it must have been some kind of big deal. So anyway this concludes my overcompensation of our misunderstanding.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Patton Oswalt just won an Emmy, and in his acceptance speech he forgot to thank RLM.

  • Bubs

    They serve that at a bar near me, called the “Crawl Space”.

  • Palpatine

    Do they also serve the Raid:Fast Kill/Low Irritant martini there?

  • Palpatine

    Hopefully the drink won’t almost kill them like it almost killed Larry King.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Are you talking about the Renny Harlin Dylatov Pass found footage movie? It was wretched. The actual event would indeed make for a great horror film, but we would need a good script, actors, and a director first. I watch a horror film a day on average. Most are forgettable, but I saw this stinker 2 years ago and I still can’t stop thinking about how bad it was.

    The only likable found footage movies I’ve seen post Blair Witch Project are “WNUF Halloween Special”,”Rec”(It’s okay, not great), and portions of Bobcat’s bigfoot movie.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Yeah, I think I’m gonna have to swallow half a bottle tomorrow myself.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Your “common sense issues” comment works both ways for either of them.

  • Brian Levine

    So, has anybody crossed a Horror film with a Road Runner cartoon, where every time the masked killer tries to off somebody, something ridiculous goes wrong leading to the killer getting dumped off a cliff or run over by a train? I would pay to see that movie.

  • Brian Levine

    Sexist comment of the day: you were expecting a group of women to do things subtle or without shouting? Silly rabbit.

  • RLMkeepitup

    the best cross of live action horror and cartoon I recall was that episode in the Twilight Zone Movie where the kid can wish for anything

  • Percy Gryce

    I was going to complain about the lack of new free content on this webzone when a little birdie told me that the Plinkett Awakens. So who here remembers how long it’s been since Real Plinkett™ made an appearance here? Only we olders can fathom the ages gone by, but of course our memories have turned to shit.

    But the real question is: Will new Plinkett content rape my middle-aged years?

  • Tobacco Nass II

    Rape-ratio is probably going to be mild to us legit SW-prequel haters. Or SJW as we call our selves. The J stands for Jorge or .J.J or Jar Jar. Same person. Lucifer as he is better known as. I think Gorilla Interrupted “functions” like the film The Shining as a warning that unless Monkey Man also returns, Plinkett can not defeat him.

    What? I know it sounds like I just graduated from Mental Illness High. But think about it and be ware!

  • Tobacco Nass II

    CONGRATS RLM. First non-Plinkett vid to get over a million views.

    Episode 106: Half in the Bag v Batman v Superman. *slide whistle*

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Yeahp…

  • instant relief

    Those click baity bastards!

  • instant relief

    *farts*

  • Bubs

    Yes. … Maybe.

    Like I said when TFA first came out, The Plinkett Review of it won’t be the “hit piece” lots of TFA haters want it to be. It’ll be what all the other reviews are: a calculated and meticulous breakdown of what works in the movie and what doesn’t. The reason the Prequel stuff comes off as a “Seek and Destroy mission” is because those movies fucking suck. About 1% of the movie is working correctly and it’s usually Jar Jar Binks. Jesus Christ. Jesus…. Christ.

    But to be concise, for any question that begins with “Will Plinkett rape…” the answer is always “yes”.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Lucas wasn’t steering the wheel this time. But he did do some interviews about it, so I’m sure we’ll see him.

  • Variant

    Oh it certainly does, and I see that argument a lot. However, I don’t think this is the time to make a statement by not voting for anyone, or voting for someone who won’t win. Right now, more then ever it’s pretty urgent to do your part to cock block the Trump. I’m more comfortable with a robot for president than a psychopath. At least robots are predictable

  • CapedBaldy

    Blair witch was shit. Don’t breathe was also.. fairly shitty. Meh.

  • CapedBaldy

    He’s made it clear that he sees it as a souless attempt to milk the franchise. He won’t savage it on technical aspects like he did with the Phantom Menace but he will savage it.

  • Rude Dog

    No, never saw it, but it’s a movie, so not sure of the relevance?

    At any rate, not trying to get hostile here, just kinda tired of hearing about this “white boogeyman” that’s supposedly lurking around every corner, and I’ve yet to see it.

    Many people fly the Confederate flag, it is seen as a sign of rebellion, even black civil rights groups in the 60’s were flying it, so were Vietnam protestors, to me it’s just always been the Dukes of Hazzard, it’s a shame the way people have to make everything so nasty.

    I know about that standoff, how are you saying that was “White Supremacists”? They just seemed to be upset about what they see as overreach by the Fed Govt, you can agree/disagree with their stance, but I don’t think it’s fair to call them racists or Supremacists.

  • Tobacco Nass II

    Lucas shadow is still on it I guess. I mean sites popping up defending the prequels and prequel fans getting all gassed up to point out how shallow TFA is in comparison. It’s endless, Star Wars is back baby.

  • Variant

    Oh it just featured prominently a seedy place full of gang members fitting that description. It took place not far from me. I wasn’t at all saying everyone who flies a confederate flag is a racist or a white supremecist, that’s all context you’ve inserted. I know that people see it as a sign of rebellion, I went to school with some people who had it painted on their trucks and whatnot. It’s just a piece of cloth and I knew what they MEANT it to mean, but I could see how some people could look past that and be offended by the potential implications of it. And I think to a degree to ignore that possible reality is a little bit curiously naive. I have no opinion either way. I got on this subject somehow by leap frogging through hoops, don’t worry about it.

  • Variant

    I just googled it actually – White Supremacy problem in Oregon. Most prominent headline from my search: “Portland, Oregon Deemed “Most Racist” City In The United States” and a story about a kid getting mowed down by them just a few weeks ago. That’s two hours from me. If that sort of gives you a better perspective.

  • Jaws2ElectricBoogaloo

    the force awakens … lol

  • discojoe

    GOD DAMMIT WHERE THE FUCK IS THE NEW PLINKETT MOVIE

  • See what’s going on? We need more content and fast. Lest we descend into meaningless bickering and insanity.

  • It’s because they synergized the video by appealing to two groups of people – male lactation enthusiasts/fetishists and BatmanNews comic book movie nerds.

  • Movie?

  • Smells like roses.

  • The ungrateful bastard. I mean the nerve…

  • Variant

    Save us from ourselves, RLM

  • Variant

    Well, they are movie length. Over that even.

  • RLMkeepitup

    careful now, they’ll remake you too one day! rest in peace.. rest in peace? I dont even what that means.

  • LameSame

    I’m eating my own shit!

  • LameSame

    If Mike doesn’t die of heart disease/liver failure/stroke, then most likely!

  • Mr. Wint

    Good thing I haven’t held MY breath waiting for new content, you fucks…

  • Mr. Wint

    Fucking Indiana Jones, last big thing…

  • Rude Dog

    Well, that article is pretty much what I thought, when they say “racist” of course they only target whites, I guarantee you Detroit and Dearborn are far more racist than Portland.

    Not to mention some of those groups are just saying whites should be able to form homogenous groups just like anyone else, why does no one ever call LaRaza, CAIR, NAACP, or the Cherokee Nation racist?

    Gotta take all that stuff with a grain of salt, people who do these “studies” have very slanted views to say the least.

  • Percy Gryce

    Hey, has anyone seen Domo? Has she pulled another disappearing act? Just in time for a Plinkett review? @now_i_get_it:disqus? Bueller? Anyone?

  • RLMkeepitup

    her account is no longer visible, did something happen

  • There might have been some unnecessary drama over at the Tapehole that caused her to delete herself. She wasn’t directly involved at the beginning, from what I know.

  • Hey, there’s the new Pre-Rec. *vomits*

  • Variant

    It seems like you’re skipping a lot of important parts of these articles where people talk about their experiences. I don’t get my information from studies and articles, everything I told you I found out myself. I only just started searching about this now that we’re talking about it here. If you haven’t been to Oregon, I really don’t think you know what you’re talking about. I’m not trying to be offensive here, but I think many people would find it offensive for me to agree with you on any level. This bit is important:

    ” America’s history of racial discrimination is most commonly taught as a southern issue. That’s certainly how I learned about it while going to Minnesota public schools in the 1980s and 90s. White people outside of the South seem to learn about the Civil War and civil rights movements from an incredibly safe (and often judgmental) distance.

    Racism was generally framed as something that happened in the past and almost always “down there.” We learned about the struggles for racial equality in cities like Birmingham and Selma and Montgomery. But what about the racism of Portland, Oregon, a city that is still overwhelmingly white? The struggles there were just as intense — though they are rarely identified in the history books.”

  • WrongWithYourFace

    There’s bickering here, too?

  • Not exactly, but the consequences spill over with Domo deleting herself.

  • Now I Get It

    Hey, Dikpuss gives notices when you just mention me now.

    It is as the reverend maggit said – only swap “was” for “might have been” and “inevitable” for “unnecessary.” Domo didn’t take her own advice, which was to ignore such dramas, so, my take on her deletion is as I described Patton Oswalt and Blaine Capatch tearing pages from their comedy notebooks in SSF. (CF. BotW, re: Ninja Movies, #comment-2417119591)

    I’m sorry I gave you the runaround last time we swapped replies. My book is in some jeopardy, and I’ve been imagining leaving this world as even less of a person than I came into it – if that’s even possible – and, so, feeling quite unfit for people.

  • Percy Gryce

    This morning I got this mass email from a noted lexicographer, savant, and, apparently, secret RLM fan:

    pants; pant.
    pants; pant. Clothing retailers lack standardization when referring to trousers. Neiman Marcus uses pant—“9H. Women’s Pant 305.00.” Bloomingdale’s uses pants—“E. Clam Digger Pants.” And Silhouettes alternates (without any apparent reason) between pant and pants.

    This inconsistency has been around for a long time. The OED quotes A.L. Hench from 1936 as follows: “For six or seven years now, I have been hearing clothes dealers speak of a pair of pants as ‘a fine pant.’ The reasoning seems to be that if a pile of pairs of pants is pants, then one pair is a pant.”

    Pant may appear to be a false singular of pants or even a back-formation. But both words are actually abbreviations of pantaloons, and have been so used since the late 19th century when H.A. Shands noted that in Mississippi, “They say: ‘I have a pant that I can sell you,’ etc. Of course, pants is a well-known abbreviation, but I think pant is rather a new word.”

  • Percy Gryce

    No worries. Your oblique attack tactics ain’t exactly straight.

    Book? Book? That is a first mention–unless I’ve been unable to decode earlier references.

  • Mark Bisone

    I just sneaked a peek over there and had a brain embolism. Hiveminds? Thirty moderators? Wikipedia wars? From what I could make of that hash, even the site’s owner pushed his own self-destruct button.

  • What a story, Mark!
    And he did it at least three or four times!

  • Mark Bisone

    How does this impact the panty/panties debate? Should I call it a “panties raid” if I steal more than one undergarment?

    And don’t even get me started on thongs.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    you used to visit that place. wha happend?

  • Mark Bisone

    I’ve been tasked of late with a series of clandestine missions throughout Asia Minor, akin to the labors of Heracles as performed by James Bond. On September 10, I took a bullet in western Bingöl province, while in pursuit of the Zaza double-agent whose assassination plot I had recently foiled.

    I’ve been convalescing in a paramilitary hospital on the outskirts of Marash ever since. The days are a seamy blur of black market opiods and Skype debriefings; the nights are dreamless voids, punctuated by the occasional cackle of gunfire or air raid siren.

    If I ever make it back from this godforsaken place, I resolve to continue posting rape jokes and beard pornography, as per my usual schedule.

  • Now I Get It

    A book. I haven’t exactly pimped it, but you can find mentions here and there. More often I’ve mentioned other books that I was reading at the time as research.

    And, yes, owing to our slight difference in gender, my attack tactics do skew gay, thank you very much. Which still explains only about half my slap fights at the baths.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    so…you overdosed on drugs?

  • Mark Bisone

    The attending nurse just transformed into a shoggoth and devoured my I.V. drip. So I guess it’s possible.

  • Rude Dog

    OK, well, you can ignore the crime stats by race if you like, we’ll set that aside. Can you tell me how many times some “White Supremacist” has given you trouble?

    Come out here to my town, walk through Dearborn, or Taylor, or especially Detroit and let me know then if you think you’re safer in your neighborhood, or one of those.

    Just look at what you just cited, once again we see “racism” only means white people, you blind yourself to the immense racism found in non-whites, and it is far more vicious.

    Why is it so horrible that Oregon is mostly white? Why is that a bad thing? You don’t think it’s racist to make a statement like that? No one ever complains that a place is mostly black, or Arab, or Asian, etc, yet if a place too white it’s somehow evil.

  • Variant

    I once stumbled upon a friend of mine who I took to a party I thought was safe being lectured to “not ask people about their prison tattoos” because he could, and I quote “take him into the woods and shoot him”, and the only thing stopping this from happening was either his “generosity” or the fact that he knew me. The fact that I was a saving grace to this situation made me even more uncomfortable somehow, like for some reason I’d been given a “pass” that I don’t really think I want. Me, I didn’t have to learn that lesson in that way because I don’t go around asking people like an idiot “okay why do you have a swaztika on your arm” or whatever it may have been. Didn’t check it out myself, I just had to dissolve the situation as quickly as possible. Anyway, I am in NO way shape or form blinding myself to racism that works in reverse – I’m not gonna lie I am constantly subjected to an overabundance of political correctness that actually makes me feel bad for myself, and it’s been sheddling a lot of light on the fact that in some areas white people are in fact a minority, and yeah horrible people span all races and ethnicities. I’m not denying any of this and I’m sorry if I sounded ignorant in any of my posts I’ve been a little frustrated with my environment and my situation lately and I’d really rather not go into further detail about how very very blatant showcases of racism in my presence have been shown on multiple occasions. It makes me uncomfortable because they think I’m going to enjoy this showcase myself like I’m one of them, and that sort of thing just doesn’t sit right with me. When I say “one of them” what I’m trying to explain is that I neither mean white people or rednecks. That’s not where I’m sitting on this issue.

  • Red Skeleton

    Oh, hey gang. How’s it hanging? When’s the new Botw coming out?

  • Variant

    Are we already due for another? I’m starting to feel spoiled.

  • tweakerbelle

    Sho likes de red ledders medier bin like not postin nuffin since likes ten days ago. It makesh de tweakerbelle all kinda sad and for weepy likes. I be mishin my red ledder medier shtuff cuz it likes makesh my weeksh and schtuff all happy like. Shum buddy gotsa post schumptin shooooon or de tweakerbelles get all pished off and shtart doin like de crazy schtuff like tossin’ shacks of kittinz into a wood chipper an’ schtuff like dat. So yooozh gotsa post new red ledder medier schtuff befores I gets all crazy like. You hearin’ me? Or dooz I gotsa like hikes up me shkirt and go pees all over yer car or schumptin?

  • Variant

    Da fuck?

  • Percy Gryce

    Are you telling me, after all these years, that you’re a woman?

    First, I don’t believe it.

    Second, mind blown.

    Oh, and I do recall your research notes, but I didn’t pick up that they were leading to a NIGI monograph.

  • Percy Gryce

    I see the old gang is reforming–no doubt in anticipation of extreme Plinkettation in the next 48 hours. Good to have you aboard, my old friend.

  • Mark Bisone

    The most anticipated reunion since Russia and Ukraine.

    Personally, I’m hoping the Plinkster reviews 1992’s “The Hand That Rocks the Cradle.” It’s got rape, murder, mental retardation, breastfeeding, asthma, more murder, more breastfeeding and Rebecca De La Mormaney.

  • Mark Bisone

    Hate to break it to you, Percival, but last I checked there were approximately 2,081 possible genders to choose from. I figure NIGI is one of those transubstantiated bimaxillary anthologists. I’ve been writing my congressmammals about their plight since June, when Facebook first discovered their existence.

  • instant relief

    Is this thing still a thing?

  • Mr. Wint

    Oh gawd, after I hear Jack talk for two minutes, I don’t care about life anymore.

  • ElectricPrism

    This must be the calm before the Plinkett… oh how I do thirst for pizza rolls and web zone things!

  • They recorded two, one is still in the oven. I guess we won’t get it until the Plinkett Review.

  • Did someone say breastfeeding?

  • *tumblr

  • Now I Get It

    Yeah, Percy, a woman. You know, women: soft things with the hole in the middle? That’s a joke. A stolen joke. I’m all man, Clyde, the dress is a dodge. That’s another (stolen) joke, or at least line.

    The book, however, is a real, literal deal. It shares a significant theme with what goes on in the whole RLM universe, including in the outer orbits of discussion.Which is why I’ve never left. Things kept coming up that made me explain things, mainly to myself, that I thought I’d already understood.

  • Red Skeleton

    One in the oven? You mean like Insert Joke Here?

  • Red Skeleton

    It’s been over a month and they sure as hell better be releasing a Halloween one around the end of the month. Just enough time to squeeze one in.

  • Red Skeleton

    I don’t know if I count as part of the old gang but I just happened to come back now because I’ve been marathoning Jay and it reminded me of you guys. And by Jay I mean BotW.

  • Red Skeleton

    I miss Jawnise. And that lady who made 70 dollars an hour and just couldn’t stop telling us about it.

  • RLMkeepitup

    That maybe Jaws comment down the page but it’s hard to tell who will show once the blood hits the water (the next review)

  • Jerome Gorden

    I miss their tits.

  • Variant

    A singular pizza roll’s worth.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    LINK DOESN’T WORK. 🙁 Seems the end was cut off.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Wait, women don’t live in Nova Scotia.

  • Bubs

    I miss everything. Who knew the times spent listening to Pa Kent’s angry Trump-like rants would later be thought of as “the good old days”?

    I just miss the sense of community.

  • Thanatos

    Do you call it a “beers run” if you buy more than one beer?

  • Now I Get It

    Tell me about it. And, so, we moved to Alberta, where men are men, and a woman can be the pickup truck she always dreamed of being. That’s what I call living. Also, no sales tax – yet.

  • bleurgh

    The soundtrack to Luke Cage is 1000 times better than the soundtrack to Stranger Things.

  • Delete the space after before the “com” part.

  • LameSame

    You all think we’re getting a Plinkett video next, but we’re actually getting a new Previously Recorded…

  • Percy Gryce

    I expected the new Plinkett review yesterday morning, so that we could rewatch it several times throughout the weekend. Now I’m getting the feeling that these frackulent hauds are going to try something audacious–like counter-programming against the premiere of HBO’s $100 million scifi/AI extravaganza Westworld.

    As Mayo said in An Officer and a Gentleman, “Don’t you do it. Don’t . . . you. I got nowhere else to go. I got nowhere else to g–. I got nothing else.”

  • Percy Gryce

    And speaking of books by RLM regulars?

  • Percy Gryce

    Now, since you know that I am a collector–in fact, I chose my entire online persona based upon a few relevant lines in House of Mirth–I trust I will receive a sincerely signed presentation copy upon publication. Indeed, if there is a pre-publication edition, hand-bound, printed on Japon paper, and limited to 326 copies, with 26 copies lettered A to Z not for sale and 300 copies numbered 1-300 hors commerce, then I hope will receive an NFS copy lettered no lower than K.

  • frankelee

    I saw the new Plinkett review. It’s what we feared, Mike likes shitty crap and so he doesn’t have anything bad to say about the new film. It’s the audience he now saves his contempt for.

  • Now I Get It

    D.O.R. or GTFO. …Uh, hang on, I gotta look some shit up.

  • Now I Get It

    Thank you, that’s so sweet. Fancy Dan that I am, I was gonna do all that anyway, for olde timer’s sake, till you went and “asked” that I sign the presentation copy. (What a hick.) Shame, too, what with the first chapter being an incunabula. I expect you’d have enjoyed that. Ah,well.

    Tell you what. File off your fingerprints, and I might let you handle one of the inkier uncorrected proofs. Or you could wait a month and just pick one of my magnetised ZIP files from any of the many garbage barges streaming out to sea from the U.N. (Seems like a lot of trouble for a pop-up book, but what do I know? I’m just the dumb censoree.)

    P.S. Fuck you, MINTAS LANXOR. Now who’s the meal-mouthed, hypocritical, neanderthal, wingnut, scum of the earth?

  • Now I Get It

    I just heard about A Torch Kept Lit. Are you getting it? I thought I’d pair it with Steyn’s Passing Parade, which I still don’t have.

  • Percy Gryce

    That’s probably a Buckley I would enjoy quite a bit–I like best his writings on language and sailing, but short lives are also very appealing.

    To be honest, though, I am so drowning in books that I’ll probably wait until I find it remaindered or used somewhere.

  • Now I Get It

    I get that. “Go cheap or go home,” that’s my motto. On the other hand, anthologies make good interstitial browsing: pick it up, put it down, read on the spur.

    Torch‘s editor Rosen emphasised the sheer range of persons Buckley eulogised, so, it seems to offer real variety. (Rosen did a long interview on Federalist Radio yesterday – and a damn good Buckley impression, I must say.)

  • Mark Bisone

    Final rewrite is half in the… done. Half done.

  • Hilary Manfat

    This episode makes me genuinely miss the good old days of VCR machines…. Especially when you got hold of that dodgy copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of a badly acted 70’s porno movie to flog your meat to.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Just watched “Don’t Breathe” and I enjoyed it. It’s like “People Under the Stairs” without the mutants and camp, but with more turkey basters full of semen and bound young girls. 4 stars.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I did. The problem was only up to “… rokl7no” was visible to copy/paste. I highlighted the link and some stuff below that and it seems that did the trick, though. Mike’s face is priceless.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’m loving the 15% sales tax in New Dumbswick.

  • Now I Get It

    Just Posted
    – 15% income tax coming.
    – 100% new factory jobs opening (making major new “cabinet” on eastern seaboard).
    – 100% new health benefits coming.
    – Immigration waivers available for right candidate.*

    Fun starts January 20, 2017.
    It’s gonna be great. Again.
    ———-
    * Must be able to sponsor one family of one celebrity who wishes to relocate to Canada. (Kind of a house-swapping deal.)

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    #MakeNBGiverAgain

  • Now I Get It

    Apropos of things none-of-my-business, but how are your heartstrings?

    #BlackTacosMatter

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Said heartstrings are now rather fine. The body in which the heartstrings reside is now more focused on finishing school and starting a career. 🙂

  • Now I Get It

    I’m glad to hear that.

    I had two similar “mishaps” at school, one catastrophic, the other regular. Yet, together, they led me to my eventual career. Conversely, a friend just told me that he’s starting a blog for his music reviews. This, after almost 20 years tuning his heartstrings in marriage.

    So, sometimes a distraction leads to something good, sometimes something good turns out to have been a distraction. I like to think, though, that in most cases nothing is wasted and everything has its time.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I, too, have found many of my distractions or so called ‘mistakes’ end up being something good for me in the longer run. My hobby and interests, that being watching movies, making short films, and devoting a lot of time towards film and video in general, ending up being what I would study. Hopefully very soon it will be my job and then career; today is my last day of classes and with any luck the next few days will be finishing assignments/projects and then on my way to … the unknown.

    What is your current career? I say ‘current’ since a lot of people don’t stay in the same field throughout their lives. Is your friend’s marriage good or bad? Heartstring tuning could be taken either way.

  • Now I Get It

    His marriage is good – good children, good finances – so, I’ll call that tuning harmonious. But I call it a distraction, also, as in the ~25 years I’ve known him, he’s started writing many things but completed nothing.

    Whereas the step he’s about to take as a reviewer is one I believe he’ll complete, for two reasons. It’s happened through a process of growth outside of his marriage, and is renewing a selfish, i.e., joyful, interest that he acquired in his youth. So, “boy distracted” or “boy interrupted,” take your pick.

    Whereas my two “mishaps” actually continued an interest I acquired in my youth, what I call “the nature and needs of the thinking soul.” The kicker is that the career they “distracted” me from, i.e., teaching in the Academy, was one I didn’t want anyway, as I’ve only ever wanted to be a writer (of essays and plays). Which I could never have been as a professor. And it was that one catastrophic relationship that taught me that.

    Similarly, even when this place has distracted me from the book I’m writing, it’s always led me to expand on subjects within that book. For example, the six-part essays that I’ve been trading with Bisone quite recently on both story editing and this year’s election (CF. down my profile).

    These distractions or digressios are examples of “the unknown” you mentioned. Only instead of migrating from job to job, I’ve used my one job to migrate from subject to subject. I can do this, as all these subjects have just a few themes in common (which I always come home to), as do all jobs in the arts. It can be quite an adventure, if you work it right.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “Boy-rilla, Interrupted” would be my take. 😉 Haha.

    I’ve only written a few things. I sometimes write little poems but mostly I’ll write scripts. I’m better at helping people expand and explore ideas than I am putting all that work into my own ideas, honestly. Same goes with most things, really. I put a lot more work and energy into something when it’s me helping someone else.

    From interacting with you over the years I can tell you have a rather unique mind and I’m almost positive that feeds into your work as well. I must go now and finish a presentation.

    PS – I just gave you your 3,000th upvote. 😉 Also struggling to find your comments on the HitB #112 in AWoT.

  • Now I Get It

    Thanks, that’s maybe my third time hitting 3000 – just in time for Dikzilla’s third annual “market correction” to drop my total below 2500.

    I believe I’m okay pitching in on someone else’s thing, but God help whoever would pitch in on mine. I’d need someone equally “unique,” I think.

    In my profile are four comments labelled Part I, Part II, and so forth, with each one bearing links to the others. They’re not about that HitB episode, if that’s what’s throwing you, but about story editing in general. I mention them only as an example of how even when I feel distracted I’m actually still working on my book. (You’ll get Bisone’s stuff in there, too.)

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Found ’em! Read ’em! Still trying to process ’em.

  • Now I Get It

    Bless your persistence. And to elaborate on Me &/vs. pitching in…

    I’m more George R.R. Martin than D.B. Weiss. I could write a book that a show is based on, but I couldn’t then be its show runner. But I could be a staff writer on someone else’s show, as the Bisone-NIGI story collaboration seems to confirm.

    These two comments here and here, back in that Tapeworm discussion on Ghostbusters, should give you the whole thing.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “Don’t Breathe” is a horror film about asthma.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    If I wanted mutants and camp, I’d just watch the GOP primary debates.
    **sees self out**

  • DRP103

    Turkey basters are so versatile! Every kitchen should have one.

Back to Top