Half in the Bag: Avengers: Age of Ultron

May 8, 20152,707 Comments

Mike and Jay finally return to the VCR repair shop to discover a horrifying secret. They also watch Avengers: Age of Ultron


Filed in: Half in the Bag

  • Kommerzschlampe

    Do we do “first”?

  • No

  • Sweet!

  • Rich Evans finally hit puberty.

  • Jack in Half in the Bag?! I just oxygenated my wombspace.

  • swell

    If I buy a pint glass, will you review Maggie and Ex Machina?

  • Daggoth

    Fuck Black Widow. Fuck The Incredible Hulk. Warmachine and Ironman are the obvious couple here. Either that or Iron Man and Captain America — you can’t tell me there wasn’t some serious sexual chemistry there at the end

  • Palpatine

    Rich’s new beard looks amazing! Not as amazing as Jay’s though.

  • Robby

    So weird thinking back on how much time has passed since they reviewed The Avengers.

  • Jillian

    *puts on best Batman voice*

    DO YOU BLEEEEEEED?

  • Bubs

    Get these goddamn game nerds out of my MOVIE REVIEW SHOW!
    BLAAARGH

  • LoveSW_Prequels

    Rich evans just completely baked

  • Palpatine

    Do not insult the Prophet Richammad! Those who insult the Prophet will be beheaded! Allahu Richbar!

  • Joe Corallo
  • empathylouis

    Yay, more Rich Evans and friends! 😀

    I’m pretty disappointed that Jay wasn’t turning tricks in an alleyway like in the previous Avengers review, though.

  • Jesus Christ! I have work to do! Now I have to get intoxicated…

  • ElectricPrism

    Your RSS feed has trouble being added to Thunderbird because it doesn’t validate,

    I get notifications of these new videos via RSS
    https://validator.w3.org/feed/check.cgi?url=http%3A%2F%2Fredlettermedia.com%2Ffeed%2F

  • Brad Smoley

    That’s some hipster-ass hair Jay’s got going on there.

  • thelionroars

    Mike and Jay should have killed those imposters. IN REAL LIFE

  • Sam

    This is the hardest I’ve laughed at a Half in the Bag in a while

  • Jillian

    I think the bloat problem could be solved by a longer director’s cut, which is in fact already in the works and should be released on the DVD. The movie as it is feels overstuffed with everything that’s going on, but with a little more room to breathe, it could turn into something truly amazing. The potential is definitely there.

    It’s pretty well edited as is, but there are still moments where the editing feels clumsy – especially the Widow/Hulk “I’m a monster” scene. *potential spoilers here* I get that they were trying to draw a parallel between them, but with the way it’s been whittled down and edited, it comes across as “I’m a monster because I was sterilized” (instead of “I’m a monster because I kill a lot of people”). Some of the plot points also rush by really quickly (we captured a bad guy. Whoops, he’s suddenly dead) and could have used more screen time to give the audience space to catch up.

  • Benzo

    But those goddamn nerds are the reason we… oh, you mean the other ones.

  • diehounderdoggen

    You hack fraud shills need to change your opinion on this movie because Joss Whedon is a sexist hack because he made Black Widow sterile? Or something? All I know is that the SJW bloc tells me to get pissy about it.

  • tOmy`

    Get a life, NEEEEEERD.

  • craptonium

    I wonder how the SJW bloc feels when watching The Island with Bear Grylls, more specifically the female group.

  • Robby

    You’re going to miss everything cool and die angry and alone.

  • Alexandria Sanders

    “Oh my god, it’s a Tarded.” Lmao.

  • Markham

    Meanwhile at Marvel: “Recruit more Hank Pimps!”

  • Not sure we’ll ever see the Silver Streaker, but I wouldn’t entirely count out seeing Aunt May become the Golden Oldie…
    http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/13/132681/2750098-tumblr_la51trhr6h1qbjoveo1_400.jpg

  • Klint

    It was occasionally fun, but you guys seemed to like it more than I did. In fact Mike went into full-on apologist mode. All the news about endless casting for Civil War doesn’t suggest these movies will get any less overstuffed, but I dig Captain America so we’ll see.

  • Markham

    If you want a corny superhero movie, check out The Return of the Swamp Thing. Annoying kids, randomly exploding villains and mental sex between woman and a plant person!

  • Polo Juice

    They actually bought a Puppet Master toy! That was a Blade plush in the box wasn’t it?

  • Polo Juice

    That was a Blade plush in the box. They… They bought a Puppet Master doll.

    VHS pre-film advertising WORKS!

  • durhay

    Move it out, Haybusa.

  • Alistahr Wells

    I think the addition to Spiderman and the hype behind that will make these movies fresh again

  • Toffoli_73

    Every single one of these comments better be about how fucking great that beard looks on Rich.

  • Man, that Aunt May discussion escalated. I mean that really got out of hand.

  • Ubik

    How they came down from the mountain?

  • tOmy`

    They hacked their way through the fraud.

  • JohnBigbooty

    Avengers 2 was really good. It was, if nothing else, an astonishing juggling act of having meaningful things for all the characters to do. Yeah, it was cluttered, but entertaining as hell. Lots of good dialogue.

    The only thing was that Tony Stark was responsible for the deaths of probably thousands of people and the destruction of a couple of cities, and he just bows out at the end. You’s think the authorities or several governments would want his head.

  • Very surprised there was no real backlash against the Banner/Natasha relationship that they pulled out of their ass. *shrug*

  • DLR84

    sorry but HITB is better without the fanboy perspective.

  • Palpatine

    The first trailer for Age of Ultron with the creepy cover of I’ve Got No Strings is what got me interested in the movie.

  • Polo Juice

    It was an excuse to keep Black Widow in the film. Same reason Purple Arrow got a farm and was suddenly the human part of the team.

  • RLMkeepitup

    just look at these man children with their boy toys. its friggin embarrassing.

  • Palpatine

    I saw the R5-D4 toy that Rich masturbated with. And they touched it! Eww!

  • Disqus is still screwing up the thumbnails but at least this time it’s showing something remotely related – Iron Man 2. Incidentally, it’s on cable right now.

  • RLMkeepitup

    They should sell that on the ebay.

  • Palpatine

    They should at least clean it first.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Sweet! A new Half in the Bag! 😀 … Now back to 9/11.

  • Grackene

    OMG I LOVE Planet Hulk!!!!!

  • David Anderson

    The VCR tape screen containing the small trailer is annoying. Better to just show the regular sized trailer with the HITB bug over it.

  • Brady Wilkinson

    The Infinity Gauntlet can easily fit into the MCU’s tone. Sure the text of the story is grim, epic, dark, and futile BUT the subtext is hysterical.

    *INFINITY WAR SPOILERS*

    -Death tells Thanos he will gain her affection if he kills half the universe. (she does this presumably to keep her creepy stalker busy for a while)
    -Thanos gains ultimate power in his pursuit of Death’s affection. He becomes a god just so he can get laid. (Cosmic forces have personification in Marvel and Lady death looks like Amy Lee in her prime)
    -Death is completely unimpressed with Thanos becoming all powerful and still turns him away.
    -Thanos throws the mother of all bitch fits and threatens the universe itself with his emo romantic despair. (basically imagine Romeo got turned down by Juliet and had omnipotence)
    -The heroes of the universe come to challenge him but are easily defeated because he is truly omnipotent. Lady Death still could not give a shit. Thanos laments this.
    -Mephisto, the fucking Devil, tells Thanos that, “All women are moved by courage”, which gives Thanos the brilliant idea to set his power to the heroes level…and after a LONG, EPIC battle the dumbass fucking loses.

    The Infinity Gauntlet is fucking hysterical and I hope to High Hell that they let Thanos be the omnipotent, lonely, patheic putz that he truly is.

  • tOmy`

    Hold the fuck on, so this movie features Scarlet Witch and noone told me so? You freaking comment frauds, all this sexism talk and you forget to mention my favorite toy?

    I mean woman?

  • Like Icare

    That “I <3 ZOMBIES" sticker would work a lot better if instead of a heart it had a brain.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Ah jeez PreRec is canon now? Fuck this I’m just gonna wait for a HiTB reboot.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Stop making 9/11 jokes.

    That’s just plane wrong.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I eat ice cream really fast; guess I’ve been doing that wrong. I think if you combine all the explosions you get one that’s bigger and betterer.

    Jay breaks the 4th wall for good at 15:27 as Mike hits max nerd level.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Drunk and without a clue is their motto.

  • Like Icare

    Then how will the people clone the Reich Evans sperm and impregnate the volunteer women brigade to create the race of genetically pure super-soldiers who will bring about the 1000-year Reich?

  • Chomiq

    First X-Men movie – 104 minutes long.

  • Paul Pantea

    When is the next Mr Plinkett: The animated series video?

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    And why can’t we have a Pre-Rec: The animated series?

    Both can be nonmedy. It’s cool.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    When will these fat skinny fucks learn we only care about Plinkett?

    UNSUBSCRIIIIIIBE!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I’m actually more excited about how they’re going to continue this storyline than any HiTB movie review they’re going to do in the near future.

    I hope Gandalf comes by while fighting his buddy Balrog and smashes that house to smithereens.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    She wears a red jacket in the trailer. How could you not figure that out?

  • Percy Gryce

    I’m not taking any chances with deficient spoiler warnings. I can’t watch this until I see the movie.

    I’ll be back.

  • tOmy`

    “I think she was fucking that guy with arrows.”

    This pretty much sums the way I view these movies. Yea, I heard of these characters, sure, I love Sinister Six, now, please, can you make me interested while shit explodes? Cuz I am all up for that.

  • RLMkeepitup

    They got so excited there was no time for warnings.

  • tOmy`

    *takes a deep breath*

    I didn’t see the new trailer till this episode of HitB. I think I saw like a teaser or something? I have no fucking clue.

    I am a perfect example of a guy who “theoretically” likes comic books movies, but I just don’t give a fuck anymore. It’s just a blur. And I used to care, I really did. As I said many times before, when Spider Man returned to cinemas, I was like: “Suuuuure, cool, gimme Sinister Six! Yay!”

    Now I don’t even know if that movie is happening or… shit, I don’t know. There is just too much, too fast and then Paul Walker dies.

  • Palpatine
  • Sir Gregory Tufton Balls

    HAHAHA!! YOU MADE THE KETCHUP BLEEDING SUPERMAN!!! I fuckin’ love you guys!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    The Sinister Six has been benched. So at least there’s less films to worry about now. Yay!

  • It takes the entire movie for them to destroy all of these robots – you know, metallic men – and Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver are like “You know, if our dad was there this shit would be over in like 30 seconds.”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I, too, was excited about the Spider-Man reboot.

    Then they hardly even had him swinging. like, at all. I felt so cheated. One of my favourite aspects is the fact that he can swing around the city doing these amazing things that are really only possible in a high-rise building city like New York. His other powers are cool, but something about that excites me on a visceral level.

    In fact, I used to play with this neat little Spider-Man action figure where I’d plan out rather elaborate swinging motions for him to make.

    #Geek #Nerd #Hashtag

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Oh yes! I love those!

    But the Pre-Rec animated series needs more nonmedy to fit in with the RLM animated universe.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Wait plot matters in these movies?

  • Palpatine

    And animation on par with the Legend of Zelda Cd-i games.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I joked about that with some friends since one mentioned Magneto was their father. I thought, “Wait, he could take all these guys down single-handedly.”

    I’m glad they had Quicksilver at least panting and stuff, showing he needed breaks and wasn’t some invincible ‘running man’ [like Ah-nold]. The X-Men movie was neat, but his powers seemed almost too much.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    It’s funny how Avengers 2 feels at the same time very long, but also like a lot was edited out/missing.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    All the kids would have to do is go “Dad! Help!”

    Magneto would think “If I help, I might have to fork over 20+ years of child support that I haven’t been paying.”

    Then he’d never show up. Ultron probably knew this, too.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    SPOILERS!

    Hawkeye dyes. Yep, that hair ain’t natural!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    42 plots, actually. But who’s counting?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Not me.

  • Mark Andrew Edwards

    Huh. No discussion on the death in the movie. But overall, enjoyed the movie, er, the skit.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    PreRec is part of the expanded RedLetterMedia Web Universe, or RLMWU for short.

  • Palpatine’s behind it all!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Movie was a disjointed mess at times and the action wasn’t very effective, but I found myself enjoying the smaller character moments. Too bad those didn’t translate better into the action.

    I’ll mention this again: anyone else notice the odd sound editing and sound levels in the film? You can even hear there are whole sound scapes missing in parts in this clip. The first few seconds we see chaos on the streets but all we hear is the Iron Man armour coming together. This annoyed me a lot during the film:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjx-02XWuzk

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Maybe they had a lot of practice with making a space bazooka ketchup dispenser for Space Cop.

    A superhero ketchup toy would be super easy.

  • Percy Gryce

    Spoilers?

  • RLMkeepitup

    Hulk has a lot of good character moments this film. He seems more interested in what he’s smashing.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    No use mourning the deaths of one dimensional cartoons.

  • Alex

    That’s not how you install a N64 Expansion Pak, Jack!
    If wires are sticking out of the console, you’re doing it wrong.

  • Hack Frauds!! Assemble!!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    See, I remember that in the first Avengers film. I think it’s a choice to go “Screw this background noise. Let’s just focus on the sound of Thorhood’s hammer.”

    Which is fine with me as a stylistic choice. Some of these movies get so loud with so much background noise that’s it’s Transformers for my ears. I’m kinda glad they stripped a lot of sound out.

  • Mark Andrew Edwards

    I don’t mourn…the dead person…but it was an unexpected and mature choice. Heroism requires sacrifice. Thought it bore talking about.

  • Palpatine

    I’m not gonna see this movie because Josh Wheadon is a sexist hack fraud who oppresses woman just like the rest of the evil Patriarchy!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    See, I can’t remember that happening, but of course I’ve been noticing a lot more of these things in films since I’m a film student. I prefer a fleshed out soundscape unless there’s a reason they seem to ignore it. Here it feels it wasn’t so much a stylistic choice and they just didn’t have time or something. It wasn’t consistent throughout the film.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    For example, the Thor in the “Infinity Well” thing was nearly incomprehensible, and obviously was meant to be a longer scene, but they had to trim it down to the bare minimum. Yet, they couldn’t remove all of it entirely, because then the creation of Vision wouldn’t make sense, which would make the destruction of Ultron more problematic.

    It’s like someone realized it was stylistically meant to be that way, so they figured they couldn’t undo it, but they could try and diminish the effects of it.

  • I think they should have a mattress on the floor sometimes, just in case Mike needs to lie down in the middle of a review.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    What is it with Joshes?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Wow, that rhymed.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    This is the one film where I would have loved it if Mike was completely drunk watching Avengers 2.

    He’d spend the next 55 minutes in a HiTB episode trying to explain the plot to Jay, spitting ice cubes on people and expertly throwing beer bottles, but would spend the whole episode thinking he was watching a great TNG episode.

    It would be magical.

  • atheistconservative

    I’m at the point where I just don’t know how to respond to these things. It’s utter shit. The jokes aren’t funny (“Obviously you’ve never made an omelet! He beat me by one second!” AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH fucking die). The action scenes aren’t exciting. It’s the same story over and over and over and over, just longer each time.

    But each one makes a gagillion dollars. And me standing outside the theater screaming that it’s shit hasn’t seemed to make a dent on it.

    So I guess this is the future: the same goddamn movie over and over. Enjoy!

  • David Anderson

    It took twelve weeks to grow.

  • tranglec

    Does anyone else have the problem that your attention span gets shorter and shorter while movies get longer and longer?
    I really have problems sitting through a movie, even one I enjoy, when I watch it at home. I’ll watch 20 minutes, then something will cross my mind or I will see an actor who looks familiar and I have to google or IMDB him to see where I know him from and then one thing will lead to another and I’ll sit on the computer so long that I forget that I had been watching a movie and be surprised when I come back to the living room and see it on the TV screen.
    I can’t remember when I last watched a full movie in one sitting.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It was pretty clear they were gonna give this a glowing review if you followed RLM long enough…

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Ah, I don’t pay as much attention to it as you do as a film student. This movie was still loud as fuck anyway. I had issues with understanding certain bits of dialogue. Damn near every character in this movie, excluding Vision, said something that I couldn’t quite understand. Like sentences constantly trailing off.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    The characters always come back anyway. Quiksilver will probably save the universe in the Gauntlet event.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It makes me giggle to think this movie warrants a director’s cut.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    To me, it helps how likable are the actors in each of their roles by now. Because, yeah, in this one I found Whedon’s dialogue to be too cute and “Hey, look at me! I’m the writer, ain’t I clever?” Much worse than in the first movie.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Too late for that.I’m betting the next review is Mad Max:Furry Road and Tomorrowland.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    #true dat

  • John G

    Avenger: The Long Weekend of Ultron

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • dejectedchuckle

    A vote for wasted Mike is a vote for the future.

  • Vengeful Eagle

    I see Rich is attempting to ape off the success of Jay’s beard. And Failing I might add.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I laughed way too hard at that.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Perhaps if you took off your pants before screaming outside the theater, it would help get your message across? (Assuming you hadn’t already thought of that.)

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Invest in booze stocks now!

  • person

    I just realized that what’s been missing from my life is a Half in the Bag/Previously Recorded (sort of) crossover!

  • playdude92 .

    These shiny, sexy, flashy Marvel movies somehow are unattractive to me for exactly these qualities. Because it feels calculated and hollow. So, sadly, I feel Mike and Jay completely on this. Could not care less about “action”.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    RLM also spray painted Jessi’s body silver and had her run around the studio as a superhero or something. Her superpowers include knocking down green screens and infectious laughter.

    I’m sorry I ruined this episode for you, too.

  • Considering he saved the President from being burned to death at the end of “Iron Man 3”, I think he has a kind of blank check.

  • ………
    ………
    ….do you guys remember when Peter Parker had girl troubles and struggled to pay his rent?
    *Hobbles off on cane and promptly dies of old age.*

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    RLM was actually promoting Pixels, the new gaming movie using all the gaming logos in the background.

    They’ve been teamed up with Happy Madison films from the start. This just solidifies it.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Maybe it reads better.

  • OPTIMUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Might as well take off the underwear, too.

    I hope it’s Boyhood underwear.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    It would explain why the character of Plinkett is based so much on the life of Adam Sandler.

  • Well… I guess I’ll go see this thing. In 3D.
    I’ll be back, as Arnie will say in an upcoming movie.

  • Raspyberry
  • Percy Gryce

    But was her name in the credits? That’s the important thing.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Doing A Thing +5

  • Ogrot

    I concur the begrudging recommendation end of the spectrum. Perhaps it’s due to it not rising to the joyous quality that was the original Avengers movie, but I just wasn’t drawn into it despite wanting to enjoy it. Like Jillian said there is probably a better movie on the cutting room floor, and I would give it a second chance on a director’s cut. It’s sad to think that the studio favored cutting out the hearts of a lot of good character moments to preserve 105 minutes of expensively produced CGI robot fights. Yet, I can see the producers, execs, and accountants sitting together with their marketing reports and expense reports and other metrics explaining to Joss Whedon that another fifteen seconds of collapsing buildings that cost 1,000’s of digital production hours to produce is way more sacred than fifteen seconds of a personal moment for Tony Stark where he somehow demonstrates he’s tired of Avengering. And I think that in essence is the entire film’s problem. Only the most clever moments were kept, while things that were necessary to establish consistent tone, theme, and pacing in the film were left out to preserve footage that was more expensive to create and considered more marketable to large audiences.

    The sad thing is the best thing about the Avenger’s wasn’t the big battle at the end. It was the infighting and interactions this oddball group of oversized misfits had when they were figuring shit out during their downtime. That’s why we gave a shit about what was happening with the blue laser in the sky. Because they gave a shit and I as an audience member gave a shit about them. Whedon is at his best when he’s allowed to establish and develop these interpersonal conflicts and Age of Ultron would’ve been a lot better for it if he was given the space to do it.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I could see Adam Sandler eating creamed corn, beans, and butter-drenched bacon cheeseburgers to get his creative juices flowing.

    Straight into the toilet.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    When it comes to movie themed underwear, I prefer Commando

  • Ogrot

    Mike needs to talk more about random ass star trak episodes.

  • Raspyberry

    Just know that my Willy ain’t Free

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    You need to get a teenage boy to help you with that.

  • Like Icare

    It’s not that action scenes aren’t exciting.

    It’s that they are confusing – because they try to be dynamic and full of action.
    As that starts being confusing if you make it TOO dynamic (think Transformers) and because they still feel the need to cram ALL the possible action in – they extend the action timeline in order to show you everything more clearly.

    So… we get shit like bullet-time freeze frames which serve as a kind of a splash page for the movie.

    Followed by more action presented serially – because not all action that was planned has been shown yet.
    More boxes left to tick-off on the action-check-sheet.

    Iron Man trapping Hulk in a metal-thing? Check.
    Iron Man punching Hulk? Check.
    They beat each other with cars? Check.
    Iron Man gassing Hulk? Check.
    Hulk smashing Iron Man? Check.
    Hulk smashing more? Check.
    Hulk punching Iron Man? Check.

    Iron Man punching Hulk many times? Check.
    Iron Man being funny? Check, check, check, check-o-slovakia!
    Iron Man hitting Hulk with a building? Ch… No… Wait… first they must fly through the air and crash through some glass and then Hulk has to…

    And all that is happening AFTER a long action scene where the entire team is fighting robots and mutants and Ultron and…

    So at that point you are way past being excited. You are being BORED by all that, by that point, meaningless action.

    Which must be there cause they are not just selling you a bigger burger which by that point can choke an elephant – they are selling you a fuckin HappyMealTM.
    You are there not for food (story) but to collect all the toys (specific fan service scenes).
    Plus there is some actual plastic to be sold, so all that is also an advertisement for a lot of solidified petrochemicals available at your local toy store.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Joss also had to toss in so much stuff to prepare for future Marvel movies, most likely at the producers’ request. And Joss being Joss, probably felt he needed to have the witty dialogue AND the personal moments, instead of sucking it up and cutting down on the witty dialogue.

  • ArtCarnosaur

    I’m so excited for this big cross over event between Half in the Bag and Pre Rec! This is going to be huge.

    The twist ending is that the puppet master behind it
    all is Mike’s character from Game Station 2.0, who realized that he’s a
    tiny, insignificant entity in the larger multiverse, and he’s bleeding
    the universe’s into each other in a plan to kill the real RLM cast, who
    ended his show without completing a single narrative arc.

    The RLM team will team up with the Grabowskis, Len Kabasinski, and the woman with the Fargo accent from the Great Space Jam 48 hour film. There will be a big set piece action scene with a fight between Mike’s Plinkett and Rich’s Plinkett.

    In the end, all the shows will be rebooted into Ultimate Red Letter Media with simpler plot lines and more ethnically diverse cast.

  • Nathaniel88

    Holy shit at Mike and Jay guessing what happens in comic books. [COMIC BOOKS SPOILERS] Silver Surfer does try to quickly slip gauntlet off of Thanos hand and it eventually gets taken from him by Nebula (from Guardians) who is revived by Thanos and is in terrible condition, looking like wreck and being slow = like someone old like say aunt May, but when opportunity arises, despite all that she strips Thanos off of gauntlet.

  • I’m more excited for the On Cinema at the Cinema X Half in the Bag cross over.
    Spoilers.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Yup. While that title seems to make sense in the comic (from what I read in Wikipedia), for the movie they should have gone with Ultron’s Uprising, Ultron Unleashed, The Rebelion of Ultron, something like that. Age? hardly. He didn’t even seem to be in control of jack shit during that long weekend.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa
  • Hank_Henshaw

    Animated Plinkett to appear too, in special episode to be directed by Robert Zemeckis.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Wasn’t Blue Laser the opposing force to the Cheat Commandos?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    1:35

    I’d give this Half in the Bag episode 5 bags of popcorn and 5 cups of soda.

  • Fernando Garci-Crespo C

    Loved the fast food analogy. Good job!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Non-Secret Eating +5

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    They even made a Pop! Vinyl Bobble Head toy for her!

    She’s not available everywhere though. She’s exclusive to Chunky’s Chicken.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    I just read up on the BIG spoiler in Avengers. That’s it? I am fairly sure I won’t see this movie now, maybe ever, no care in the world.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Yeah, they don’t even eat at Shawarma King.

  • dennett316

    Here’s how you respond….stop fucking watching them if they annoy you so much. And yeah, it’s the same story each time, insomuch as it’s good guys vs bad guys. You have to stretch a hell of a way to ignore the different themes and character moments that add onto that vanilla sponge and create different flavours. Food Anaology #4!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I need it about as much as bleach in my coffee.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I just can’t wait for the Civil War movie – Captain America leading the Union troops, or on secret missions? Red Skeletor helping Stonewill Jackson? Either way, take my mon-ay alread-ay!

  • Like Icare

    I read that as booze sticks… That’s not a bad idea.

    We need chewable booze.

    And those sherry and rum filled chocolates are not cutting it.
    We need like… pretzels. That are booze at the same time.

    Pretzels filled with jello-shots… but it would need a layer which would keep all that alcohol in and stop it from evaporating…
    something like chocolate… meltable but not sweet…
    CHEESE!!!

    Frozen alco-Jello, trapped inside cheese sticks and a waffle-like crunchy exterior shell.

    I should patent this… Meh… Let the world enjoy my genius for free.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    If it has to go on and on, it just becomes the most expensive sitcom ever.

  • Alex

    That was also my problem with the HULK vs Iron MAn scene, sure, it’s a good action scene on it’s own. But in the context of the movie, that sequence gets out of hand, as it was mainly about Ultron stealing the Vibranium and giving the Avengers a devastating defeat, the HULK/IronMAn fight sabotaged the whole momentum of that defeat and went overboard.

  • Like Icare

    No. That was like… before.

    Now you just say “HACK FRAUDS!”… and then you cut to black.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Now all we need is for someone to make a Ice cream funnel cake deep fried in Vodka (somehow) and we’d be in business.

  • Ogrot

    It’s been said that generally Marvel and Disney has for most of these Marvel Universe films brought in company men directors over stylistic auteurs (Whedon and Gunn being exceptions) for single character films, and it makes you wonder at what point will the studio focused collaboration become hubris and executive driven fiat. Hopefully for Marvel’s sake it doesn’t happen, but like Stoklasa said it could get to the point where the movies collapse under the weight of their own Mythology. Where films become vehicles to market and set up other films that are vehicles to market and set up other films that are vehicles to market and set up other films until we reach a unified marvel singularity that eventually collapses and births a new unified cinematic marvel universe.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I’d watch a sitcom where Ultron & Iron Man have to share an apartment. Maybe the Not Scarlets live across the hall and wackiness ensues.

  • Like Icare

    He didn’t sacrifice.
    He just died stupidly as it was shown earlier that he can move faster than a bullet.

    Then again, in that same scene where that was shown he is surprised by a slow moving (for him) bullet breaking the glass floor he is standing on so he falls through it instead of just zooming out to somewhere else.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    I’d settle for a reboot of Bossom Buddies with Hulk and Thor.

  • Sebastian

    Does Pre-Rec now exist in the HitB-Universe?

  • Vengeful Eagle

    I think there’s something wrong with me. I heard it as “Apartheid”.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Hollywood/Hulu/Netflix, are you listening?

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    NSA got their number, don’t worry

  • Like Icare

    That’s the effect of too many money shots at the same time.

    Which is why I find bukake porn so unappealing.
    You completely lose the grip with what’s happening and it feels like it’s supposed to be several shorter scenes instead of a single longer one.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    ♫ ♬ The best part of waking up, is acid in your cup! ♫ ♬

  • Cream-A-Thon

    History changed 3.5 million times since you wrote that, you know.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Fucking butterflies.

  • Mark Andrew Edwards

    Sure he did.
    He saw Hawkeye, saw he was in trouble and he chose. He chose to run in and grab him and the child. It’s apparent from the number of wounds on his body that the density of fire was too great for him to just dodge around. A minigun is not a semi-automatic pistol.

    This version of Quicksilver is less powerful than the Xmen movie version. More mortal. He wasn’t my favorite character but lets give him (and the director) credit, he chose to charge into danger rather than run from it. And he died for it.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Have you seen Frogs? ‘Cos thats totally true in the Frogs universe.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Or he died for a moment of unearned levity, so they can have their cake after eating it. That’s my theory so far.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    “Weird red man with a laser”
    #2NDAMENDMENTSHAMING

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Four guys trying very hard to explain why garbage isn’t garbage is twice as good as only two guys, I guess.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I swear I SO needed this today. Thank you, RLM.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    You need a tissue?

  • Mark Andrew Edwards

    I agree with you, as far as cake.

    It should have been an Avenger who died but, eh, they weren’t willing to burn a main character.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “at what point will the studio focused collaboration become hubris and executive driven fiat”

    It’s already at that point my dear Watson.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    As long as James Franco and or Joseph Gordon Levitt is involved, bring it.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    There is way less projects James Franco is not involved in than vice versa.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    You’re in pretty good shape for such an unusually long hypersleep.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Thanks. I’ve been working out.

  • Palpatine

    Feel free to use this to your un-dying pleasure:
    http://i.imgur.com/Hvbn61a.gif

  • Like Icare

    It’s not a ketchup dispenser we deserve, but the one we need. RIGHT NOW!

    If R2 can pee soy sauce I see no reason why Superman can’t bleed ketchup.
    http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/117a/

    Maybe he could just squeeze some from his eyes? Leave it to the customer to decide if it is heat vision or blood.
    http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004M5J1BI/

  • instant relief

    One of the best episodes ever!

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    It has candy in it.

  • Animist_Primal

    Why are you nerds talking about some stupid movie and no one is talking about the real battle brewing, who is going to be the sexiest bearded man at RLM now?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I’m with you, Tapey. It’s become a personal badge of honor that I’m done with these movies, and I don’t even feel all that bad about it.

    “Come on, man!!! Come see it with us.”

    “Nah. You have a good time, though.”

    “Come on!!! If you don’t, we’ll tell everybody you hate everything.”

    “That’s OK. Really, who’s everybody?”

    “Everybody! On the internet!”

    “Oh. OK.”

    “Come on!!!”

    “Nah. I’m cool.”

  • I enjoyed it overall, but aside from the obviously missing scenes needed for better pacing and the unneeded parts that bloated the movie, my biggest problem were Stark and Ultron.

    Stark because the guy just doesn’t learn a damn thing from the whole ordeal, and never really faces any sort of personal consequences for what he did (which also goes against his entire reason for being a hero since the first Iron Man). Hell, he decides to basically do the exact same thing that got them into trouble in the first place without a second thought.
    His dynamic with Ultron also just never felt that strong as a result. Yeah, Ultron’s a menace to the world, but Tony never seems THAT perturbed that he’s unleashed a killer robot on the world, and it makes him less sympathetic as a character. I don’t want to be that nerd, but the comics’ relationship between Ultron and Pym is handled way better.

    And Ultron…oh god. Watching him was kinda like downing a really sweet beverage that tastes great at first, but then leaves you with this bad saccharine aftertaste. He had alot of fun scenes and definitely got some laughs, but after the film, nothing about him really stuck with me. The near constant quipping just undercut how much of a threat he was supposed to be, and made him made him come off more as a comic relief lackey for another villain. Which, when you look at all the movies, I guess he kinda is, he’s just more build-up to Thanos rather than his own character.

    I think the first Avengers movie hit the “fun comic book movie” mark really well. It knew when to be funny and when to take itself seriously alot better than AoU did. For all I know, the complete film may very well be in the same league as the first, but as of right now, that’s all been left on the cutting room floor.

  • Alex

    Oh my god, this is the first time I saw the Rich Evans song ‘You boring twats’. Genius.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Too much is too much.

    Stoned Confucius

  • Captain Turbo

    Did Rich say “porky-mon”?

  • 197th!!

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Gay.

  • instant relief

    It also has Rich Evans’ powerful new beard!

  • Captain Turbo

    They say most of your brain shuts down in cryo-sleep.

  • instant relief

    Wanne make out?

  • Okay, it’s storming pretty bad outside. I won’t be able to go to the theater.
    Darn.
    I kind of wanted to see this movie just to get it out of the way. I don’t really give a shit (I’m doing the jaded, dispassionate movie consumer thing to appear cool– i-is it working? IS IT?) about this superheroes anymore, but Marvel’s got its fingers in my ass-wallet.
    I’m actually not really the hugest fan of these Marvel movies. I liked Iron Man, I liked Captain America 2, but the rest of them fall into “I’ll-watch-it-on-TV-if-I’m-bored” territory.
    I can’t really say why these movies have never really clicked with me. It COULD be that I’m a cynical asshole, but I could try to dig in to the reasons a little more.
    Maybe it’s because I’m a huge fan of villains and none of the villains in these movies are all that captivating. Like, if you’re going to make a hero/villain black-and-white-morality movie, the “black” end of the morality spectrum should be rad as balls. I like it when the villains in these movies are as enjoyable or more enjoyable than the heroes– whether it’s Heath Ledger’s Joker or Willem Dafoe and Alfred Molina totally hamming up their roles in the old Spiderman movies.
    These MCU villains suck. They’re either bland gods, white guys in business suits, or one-dimensional villains funded by white guys in business suits. They suck.
    Maybe it’s because I feel that, when there’s a whole “universe” that these heroes inhabit, the universe becomes more and more homogenized. It doesn’t matter how different the environments are, whether its Hell’s Kitchen or Asgard– I can always just tell that it’s a Marvel property. It’s starting to feel super bland.
    Maybe it’s because I miss the days when an awesome Superhero movie was a special event rather than something you have to check off your shopping list.
    Maybe I just want to see a Black Widow movie. Not for the sake of feminism or anything (though, yeah, it would be nice to see a lady hero carry her own movie) but because, after years and years of watching supermen fight gods, it would be nice to see a character who isn’t superpowered and isn’t a genius billionaire kick ass in a world of gods and magic.
    I’m not saying that they shouldn’t make these movies and I’m not saying that people shouldn’t enjoy them, but it sometimes feels like Marvel is sacrificing quality for quantity.
    I don’t know. I’m kind of having trouble putting my thoughts into words.
    What do you guys think?

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Thought that would be obvious.

  • Captain Turbo

    You know I’ve never seen E.T.: The Extraterrestrial? I’m just throwing that out there.

  • instant relief

    Too much to read.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Yeah? If They care so much about brains, why do they waste so much of theirs, going to see maguffin-stuffed stupor-hero movies?

  • instant relief

    Let’s touch wieners!

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    I think that movie has a window of appreciation that closes after some time. I’ll allow it.

  • Captain Turbo

    The best one will be the next episode: Days of Half in the Bag Past.

  • Nice reference to Tim Heidecker’s movie review show. I wondered if he was ripping you guys off after appearing on RLM. Mike confirms my suspicions.

  • instant relief

    Rich Evangers: Age of OHMAAIGAWWD!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I wanna make out with you. It’s a weird sensation. Not bad-weird, just weird.

    Haven’t felt this way since college. You know, everybody experiments in college.

  • I’ll be sure to break this comment up into 53 individual twitter blurbs so that you can easily digest it over time.

  • instant relief

    You’re too kind!

  • “Maybe I just want to see a Black Widow movie. Not for the sake of feminism or anything (though, yeah, it would be nice to see a lady hero carry her own movie) but because, after years and years of watching supermen fight gods, it would be nice to see a character who isn’t superpowered and isn’t a genius billionaire kick ass in a world of gods and magic.”

    Same, I just want a Batman movie were he foils some mobsters or something. Hell, do what Dredd did and just rip-off the basic plot of another action movie and stick the character in it. I wouldn’t mind seeing something like a Die Hard-Batman movie where he’s stuck in Arkham for a night.

    YEAH I KNOW THE GAMES DID IT, BUT I’M TALKIN’ ABOUT MOOPIES

  • Ha!
    Don’t *I* know it!

  • Jealous.

  • instant relief

    We can always have a threesome!

  • atheistconservative

    I fucking hate Joss Whedon. I tried watching “Agents of SHIELD” and it was so twee and annoying I wanted to hurl a brick at the TV.

    “Do you know what this group is called?”
    “Blah blah blah”
    “Do you know what that means?”
    “Yeah someone really wanted it to be called SHIELD! Durr-hurr!”

    “Ooh, this thing is so slimy! Neat!”

    It’s like comedy for retarded people. And not in a good way.

  • Alex

    Total count of Jay breaking the 4th wall: 3

  • The great thing about the games is that they stick Batman in a hellish environment that is largely out of his control.
    I’m sick of seeing superheroes thrive. I want to see them fight just to *survive*, yo.

  • *Sips from bottle*
    *Makes satisfied ‘Ahhh’ sound.*
    Instant relief.

  • Like Icare

    Did you like all the pieces of that armor set? There are so many to collect. Not sure if they come with their own ketchup dispenser though…
    http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=hulkbuster

    Hulk could dispense wasabi paste. Cause it is green.
    There’s that one for soap. The one where he looks like he’s taking a big shit.
    http://www.amazon.com/Incredible-Hulk-Lotion-Pump-Tumbler/dp/B007M8AEQS
    Fill it with condiments and pretend it’s Hulk poo…

    Wait… Why would anyone do something like that? That’s just sick!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Are you counting the time he sorta zones out while Mike babbles about Star Trek?

    Technically, not a wall-breaker, but kind of, since he slips out of character.

    I’m counting it. ‘Cause there’s a certain symmetry to breaking the 4th wall four times.

  • atheistconservative

    If it were just about not watching it, that would be one thing. But you have to put up with all your friends talking about how ‘awesome’ it is, etc, along with the fact that there will now be 100 more of these goddamn things.

    And it’s not just “good guys vs. bad guys”. It’s a story for three-year-olds: absolute cartoonish evil that can offend nobody, gender-balanced and ethnic-balanced forces of absolute good who make ‘funny’ observations and bounce around like cartoon characters … fuck it. The Taken movies are more realistic than this crap just because they deal with actual crime syndicates.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Shut it grampa.Nothing is more fun then excessive action and endless “”witty””” dialogue that sucks out any gravitas of the story(and isn’t funny in the first place)

  • instant relief

    Well done, old chap! /clap

  • Percy Gryce

    Okay, I will share this now before I go see Avengers: Urge of Actionman: I had an incredible RLM dream last night. In the dream I was at some very large and very nice suburban house (nicer, I’m afraid to say, than Gryce Manor). The RLM gang came for a party. With the exception of Mike, though, no one else was particularly recognizable–in fact, everyone else was faceless. A wonderful time was had by all. We were laughing and singing. There was much embracing as I walked the RLM gang to their van (VW bus? minivan? Merry Pranksters’ bus? Mystery Machine?). Mike and I said our reluctant farewells and promised to reconvene soon.

    I returned to the house and there in a chair in the corner was a frightful old man. He looked a bit like this:

    http://troypennysaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/WGTPTinseltown31.jpg

    but older and more frightful. He began to reproach me for my association with the RLM gang. I can’t remember his exact words, but they were so vehement and jarring–so out of keeping with the tone of the rest of the dream–that I awoke with a violent start.

    Now what the hell does that mean?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    But it had splosions and they were trying to be funny.

    10/10 movie.

  • Like Icare

    It’s called a Jaybreak.

    Well, it called Jaybreak NOW.

  • Alex

    I got a script about Batman’s futile and sweaty fight against the drug lords in Mexico, called Breaking Batman.
    It’ll cost you only 2 millions to secure the rights.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You’re got fork in the brain.

    It’s terminal.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Note: On May 8th, 2015, I, “Pa Kent Says Maybe,” awarded “atheistconservative” 1074 implied upvotes.

    Who said there are no surprises left anymore?

  • Earth

    Awesome guys. This review made me laugh a lot (which as a Brit I really needed right now) I’m probably not even gonna see this movie but it was fun hearing you guys talk about it (and laughing at the garbage that will be Batman vs Superman)

    I too, want a Planet Hulk movie. That sounds like awesome, glorious schlock.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Rich Evans’ beard was the first true beard! Rich Evans is time and space itself! Rich Evans was ‘being’ before ‘being’ was ‘being’.

  • instant relief

    I bet Rich has the Infinity Gauntlet!

  • Percy Gryce

    Spoilers!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Like I’ve said before, beware of experimenting too much with crippling debt.

  • “Breaking Back.”
    Starring Bane.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Jay is the Way, Way we know is Jay. Prey, infidel, preeeeeeey!

  • Earth

    Joined the ranks I see.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Living up to your Disqus handle. 😉

  • Alex

    I think there’s only one way how to use those dispensers or toys. The Rich Evans way.

    http://i.imgur.com/t44JdSB.gif

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Is his alter ego named Heisenbat?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    And they saved people!

    Are you really giving it a ten, or are you just poking the grizzly?

    It don’t matter. See below. I just can’t get too fizzed about the whole thing. Next weekend, I’ll take my old ass to the Godzillaplex to see the single, only blockbuster I plan to see this year. I’m trying to keep an open mind. I can’t say I’m excited. I’m excited about binge-watching THE APU TRILOGY. Disney’s Marvel’s Extended Cinematic Underpants will go on and do it’s do without me.

    #Eh

  • That last long-ass comment I wrote aside, the main reason why I’m not too into Marvel is because I’m not a FUCKING MARVELITE!
    REDLETTERMEDIA HAS SOLD THEIR SOULS TO MICKEY MOUSE!
    9/11 WAS AN INSIDE JOB!

  • Earth

    Yeah that was my biggest gripe with Dark Knight Rises. I was hoping it would be Batman trying to take down the new crime boss Bane while also having to do battle with the police, but instead it was this big mess of nuclear explosions, city sieges and pointless character reveals.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Yessir.

    So, the making out with dudes is still cool, as long as I don’t have to pay?

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    11/10, the people are pretty.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    ‘A lot’ are two words. Pet peeve of mine. 😉

    Other than that, agreed.

  • instant relief

    Wait, lemme grab my tin foil hat!

  • instant relief

    I need it short and quick.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    If I gave it a 10/10 I might as well just drop of out university.

  • Earth

    YOU FUCKS SHOULD STOP HATING ON DC! QUIT SUCKING UP TO MARVEL…YOU FUCKS!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    ♪ There’s gonna be a jaybreak
    Somewhere in this town.
    There’s gonna be a jaybreak.
    Don’tchoo be around. ♪

  • Alex

    who gave you the script?….shiiit….now I have to spent the whole evening interrogating friends again.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuej22Iy-GU

  • Huh. This is what I get for not paying attention in grammar classes.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    RLM does stand for Radically Loving Marvel

  • I’m actually a fan of DKR. It’s not a fantastic movie, but I categorize it in my mind as a pretty good “Batman” movie.
    It’s kind of like Jay said in their review of the movie– Batman is often the least-interesting character in these things. In this one, he actually got to have an arc, get beaten down, and then rise up again.
    Unfortunately, the villains of the movie really suffered. Instead of it being a movie carried by the villains (like Dark Knight) this was a movie where the villains were pretty muddled and poorly fleshed out.
    I saw it on my birthday, though, so I was just looking to have a good time. So maybe I’m lenient on it, y’know?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Pretty much. You may still need to buy him a drink, but that comes with the territory … unless it’s at a party and your cool uncle can supply the alcohol, which is more likely since drinking age in the states is generally 21 and most students are younger than that.

  • instant relief

    Rich Evangers & The Jayfinity Mikelet

  • TapewormLadyBicycle
  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Shills, I tells ya! FUCKING SHILLS!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Cool.

    And, you totally have my permission to try and help me make Disney’s Marvel’s Extended Cinematic Underpants™, like, a thing.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Wait – Thor’s a bottom?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    with Jack, Bald Boy Sidekick

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    As if you wouldn’t ride that.

  • instant relief

    The bald boywonder. 😉

  • Earth

    I didn’t hate it. I was just hoping for it to be more low-key. You could’ve still have had that Batman arc within a story without OMYGOD THEYRE GONNA BLOW UP NEW YORK WITH A BOMB AND BANE’S FRIKKIN BLOWN UP ALL THE BRIDGES! I dunno, it just felt too big and chaotic for me.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’m saddened the RLM gang is just a bunch of glorified Marvelites and DC haters. They’ve given every Marvel movie a good review and every DC moopie a bad review. I thought better of them, but it seems they’ve nuked the fridge.

    It’s pretty clear their opinions are wrong because they’re different than mine. This is my first and only comment I’ve ever made on this webzone, but RLM sucks.

    Oh yeah, please make a Plinkett review of The Mattress Matrix Trilogy.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    This. Yes.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Jack & Rich cleaned up real pretty for this cross over episode. Can this become canon in their universe?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Is the spoiler that it wasn’t fun? Remember when movies were fun?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Well, there’s only been one post-Disney’s Marvel’s Extended Cinematic Underpants™ DC moopie. And, it WAS pretty bad.

    I don’t really get into conversating (not a word) with this new ironic you. makes me look foolish.

  • No, I agree.
    The Batman arc was what I LIKED about the movie. The rest felt super-jumbled.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I was poking fun at comments from years gone by, a lot of them posted on the Man of Steel review.

  • Captain Turbo

    You take that back, Mitchell Taco Nash, if that is your real name. Last time I trusted a man named after Mexican food I wound up in a Turkish prison.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    o/ My milkshake brings all the Gods to the yaaaard o/

  • Earth

    I guess I don’t really care much about Batman as a character. These films, as Dark Knight, Batman and Batman Returns proved, work better when they’re about the amazing Batman villains (imo).

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Depends. If I’m buying a drink, he’s gotta have abs.

    And, this thread trips over the line. It’s now got no civil rights in my home state. And, it’s sh!t out of luck if it wants a slice of pizza.

  • Earth

    No Betty, goddammit you fucked it up. You’re such a fuck up.

  • HALF IN THE BAAAAAAG!
    FUCK COMICS!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Yeah, I got that as I was replying. Hence, my discomfort. And, really, when is it ever a bad thing when a pal gives you the excuse to use “hence” on the webzone?

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    I tried. It’s so coarse…

  • Palpatine

    Now here’s the non-PC version of your comment: MIKE AN JAY R FUKIN HAXZ WO LIK SHITY ASS MARVIL AN NUT DC!!11! DA STUF DEY SEY ABOT AWSOM MOVIS LIK MAN OF STELL R STUPDASS!!11!! FUK U MIK AND JAY!!!!!1111!!!!! BATMUN V. SOOPERMON WIL KIK ASSSSS!111!

  • All right, I’m checking out of the comments for the day. Gotta get something to eat and then maybe read a book.
    That’s right, movies have made me so disappointed, I’m turning to something WITHOUT special effects for entertainment.
    Was I always this man, or is this just the monster I’ve become?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Newsprint cuts on the dick.

    Not good.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You could eat a book and read a sandwich.

    That would show ’em!

  • You’re off your meds, old man.
    For that matter, so am I.

  • Alex

    yeah, I counted it twice, since in the beginning it looks unscripted and he goes back to listen to Mike. But then he does it again and goes into the “staring into the abyss, and the abyss is staring back at you”-bit.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Oh, so we’re really back to only three times? You can’t count one bit twice!

    Did we learn nothing from Deflategate?

    Edit: I apologize for this joke. It makes no sense. I’d redact it, but I think that’s kinda cheating.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Both.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Which is strange, because I can’t think of any particularly famous Turkish food for which you’d end up back in Mexico.

    Goulash? Surely goulash isn’t Turkish.

  • Alex

    Somebody call an exorcist, Nash is being possessed. again.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    See you peoploids. My eyes can’t take no more, because all the plants in the area got together and formed a super strong team, The Allergens.

  • Palpatine

    Ugh, don’t remind me. I’m having the same problem right now as well.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Something is ..Happening.

  • Alex

    Everybody knows 9/11 was a rim-job.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    I’ll just go chill out in the zoo.

  • Like Icare

    It is also apparent that bullets went through him.
    It is also apparent that the effort needed to move someone out of the line of fire is not greater than moving someone AND himself out of the like of fire.
    It is also apparent that he gets “accidentally” shot for no fucking reason earlier (and just shrugs it off) – AFTER dodging and outmoving bullets multiple times earlier.
    Just so they’d remind us that just because he’s fast…

    He dies stupidly because movie needed someone to die.
    And nobody gave a fuck because there was no personality attached to that character for anyone to give a fuck.
    Coulson got established over multiple movies, then was given extra screen time, was humanized, was woobiefied – THEN he gets stabbed through in the back and gets to (pretend to) die a hero’s death.

    Quickwhatever? Who gives a fuck? He’s 12 minutes older? I should care because of that? He stared at a bomb for two days? Who gives a fuck. We never felt any of that. We were just TOLD about it. Fuck him. I’m glad he’s dead. Movie has too many characters anyway.

    Now… had they had the balls to kill of his little sister… who’s the one who got all the character development out of the two of them, the one who reads minds and feels other people’s emotions, the one who got all scared and had to be given a pep talk by the 4th or 5th most useless character in the SHIELD, the one who was all “I can do this all on my own”, the one who is a little girl and not a stereotypical sweatsuit-wearing hoodlum from a Cyrillic-speaking country…
    That might have carried some weight.
    And then Joss Whedon would be found in an alley with his eyeballs sewn into balls-balls and vice versa.

    And it would still be meaningless as we already saw that in the last Avengers movie. And the last Iron Man movie where they molest and kill Rebecca Hall (again). And the last Thor movie where half of Thor’s family dies (as far as he knows) and he doesn’t show any of that reflecting on him in this movie. His mom was murdered violently and his bro sacrificed himself (as far as he knows)… fuck it… who cares…
    Who died in Captain America? OH! RIGHT! Samuel L. Jackson did. Then he got better.

    It is a pointless, stupid, overused trope at this point.
    Kill someone who matters? Permanently? No way Josse.
    Instead there will be more deaths of minor characters nobody gives a fuck about… But one dog will be saved.

    Did you catch that shot of a single dog hopping onto that rescue sky-barge?
    Don’t worry audience. Someone on the team got sure that all the pets got out of the Cyrillic City safely too.
    Probably the fast guy did that… Oh… Wait…

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Watch out for the lions. They’ll attack you with really bad CGI.

  • Palpatine

    The smell of elephant dung should make your eyes feel better.

  • Angelo

    What ? Noooo.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    The sight of elephant dung, though, will eff up your nose something terrible.

    Wait. What?

  • RLMkeepitup

    the cars moving by outside.. their budget is getting out of proportion

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Eh. He’ll be alright after one good belch.

  • Alex

    To be honest, I did zone out myself during this episode and woke up disorientated, which says nothing about the quality of the episode, more about my age.

  • Like Icare

    That’s the song!

    Hit it Johnny!
    I said HIT IT, JOHNNY!

    Oh… Wait… Johhny died of sepsis back in ’86.

  • Brack to the Future

    As an alien with massively advance talents and tech, may I respectfully suggest you fire your sound man, fire your editor and fire your video compositor/”director?”

    When a guy cues “speed” he should know his gain, when a guy edits in the car movement on the street outside he should mask out the sprites that appear too high for cars (breaks the effect), and when the other guy does all the other stuff, it’s too hard to explain.

    I want you guys to succeed so that Jay can get braces, and Mike can get lap-band and propecia.

  • fred

    Never use hardcovers.

  • Angelo

    I find your lack of faith disturbing.

  • Warlord X

    Saw the film last Friday, been waiting for this review. Honestly I had fun at first but started to get really bored and worn out towards the end. Not as bad as Man of Steel but still undesirable when watching a movie. And I’d rather watch the first season of Daredevil a second time than watch Avengers 2 a second time. That’s what put me on the Marvel bandwagon temporarily, and Avengers 2 will be what gets me off until Daredevil resumes.

  • Wait, so we don’t get to see Mike and Jay’s death-defying climb down that mountain? You guys just keep getting hackier and fraudier!

  • fred

    Do you bleed? I do. Every month.

  • Like Icare

    Is it just me or are they cramming this HitB episode with too many characters?
    Did anyone else feel like the critique of the movie in this episode suffered due to there being just too many characters who all had to have their own moment in the episode, so ultimately the whole thing would just start meandering at places becoming a bit oversized and bloated for an episode about a single movie?

  • Like Icare

    You just need to run faster than the air and you’ll be fine.

  • Like Icare

    Lions, sons of bitches.

  • ArtCarnosaur

    Crises in Infinite Retro Device Repair Shops.

  • Palpatine

    Yeah, I really hope that Rich and Jack don’t become the new focus of the show.

  • Rich Evans looks like Thom Yorke.

  • Angelo

    But I want to see Jack’s hidden family living in a farm.

  • Palpatine

    RLM better not go all Scrappy-Doo with Rich and Jack!

  • This also reminds me about something I liked about the original Spider-Man movie; the stakes of the final conflict isn’t the fate of the whole city, it’s just Mary Jane and a tram full of kids. Far fewer lives are on the line, but it feels way more tense and gratifying when Peter manages to save both.

    And to give this film credit, as Mike pointed out, alot of the tension in the final scenes of AoU comes from the Avengers actively trying to save civilians and not just blow up all the evil robots.

  • That movie got the basic core of what made Knightfall good, but added way too much excessive baggage.

  • Like Icare

    It’s kinda obvious if you take into consideration that it is not the Thor who flies or wields the power – but the hammer.
    The hammer is the top in that relationship.

    And we all know what the hammer means…

  • Angelo

    Honestly I wouldn’t mind Rich being a regular member of Half in the Bag. You can’t have enough Rich Evans.

  • My ex wife

    *Pawns

  • Brack to the Future

    Actually I have plenty of faith. In fact, that very word in this context is an inspiration, for oh so many years ago little George Michael set aside a month of his life and crafted a record now known as Faith. A true Album.

    My hoap is Mike and Jay find their own Faith outside of Plinkett.

  • My ex wife

    Your Only Dream Was To be Cool With Those Guys.

  • Like Icare

    You fell that you are disappointment to your parents (symbolized by a frightful old man) for wasting your time on frivolous activities such as adoration of known hackfrauds whom you don’t really know (ergo: faceless hackfrauds), and seeking friendship and respect of alphamales (symbolized by Mike) instead of using your talent to achieve your true potential (symbolized by the house much nicer than your present abode).

    Or it could be a late dinner combined with the last remnants of the drugs you took for your recent thing flushing out of your system.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Mother of god what kind of terrorist are these?

  • Like Icare

    I was just about to post that link. Now I have it in my clipboard for nothing…

    Fuck it.

    Je ne regrette rien! (That means YOLO in French.)

    http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m baaaaaaaccckkk. I’m sure you guys know my thoughts on Age of Ultron but I will say them again because you assholes don’t pay attention. I liked this film quite a bit, in some sense it is better than the original in some cases not. Not a lot of build up to action and lacks some focusing because Disney told Joss “I got insulted by moronic Social Justice Warriors so I left Twitter” Whedon to edit down his movie but by doing that you lose focus on elements like Ultron who should have more character moments. I wasn’t big on the Black Widow/Hulk romance. To be honest I thought she would have gone with Captain America based on how they interacting with one another in The Winter Soldier, which was a fantastic movie. I don’t know, maybe the Hulk is well hung. Also accents, bad accents, bad russian accents, bad russian accents spoken by people who can not speak with other accents than the one’s they have.

    BUT NOW FOR WHAT I LIKED! Great action, more comic book like and it is not too comic book-y when it doesn’t seem like this doesn’t take place in the same universal as Daredevil or The Winter Soldier which had horrible violent deaths. Deaths including being thrown into a helicopter blade, being horrible shot by Nazis/mercs, head being destroyed by a car door, being strangled by Vincent fucking D’onofrio. The character moments are nice, the best being given to Hawkeye because his wife is Velma from the Scooby Doo movies. Oh god I brought those up. You can force me to watch Zohan as my punishment. Where was I? Oh yeah the movie. I liked the movie and thought that things in it could have been better if the house of mouse let Whedon have a more focused film but at least the edited down product was good unlike some movies that were cut down by the studio. Go see it, it’s what you need until Mad Max comes out.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Rich’s beard needs to go. I have a feeling he’ll retire from his Pizzeria in order to have a hip hop career.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    HILARIOUS AND ORIGINAL

  • Big McLargehuge

    “oh my god it’s retarded”

    couldn’t have put it better myself, jay

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Is this part of a college essay of yours?

  • Angelo

    I gotta admit, The Happening is comedic gold.

  • Earth

    #manchildshaming

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He was on Half in The Bag once as the mail man that Mike hated and killed with an axe. Perhaps Jack wants revenge?

  • Like Icare

    2nd amendment doesn’t cover lazors cause there were no lazors back in the ‘Murican Revlonlution and they didn’t even understand the concept of light or electricity so the rules set back then can’t extend into present time any more than the rules about slavery being OK and women not voting and adults marrying 7-year-olds (You go Delaware! Get them while they’re young!).

  • DanceOfBirther

    Yeah, besides, Thor is a homo.

    Look it up, kids!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What kind of stupid asshole says this movie under performed? It made $187 million dollars in one weekend and you say it under performed? I smell-OH GOD! The smell of bullshit is so fucking strong! I can smell through my monitor!

  • Goliath

    This is one of the best Half in the Bags in a long time. Mike’s jokes are plentiful and on point, Jay’s reactions are gold, and Jack and Rich lend to the energy of the discussion. Rich is looking damn handsome in that beard, too.

    When it’s just Jay and Mike I feel it can sometimes be a little dry and lethargic, even if the discussion is good and the jokes are funny. But I really loved this episode and think that is because there were more people. Felt like a BotW.

  • sloth

    is it snowing inside plinkett’s house?

  • Adzl33t

    Ha Mike doesn’t know what Adventure Time is, what a Grandpa

  • Joe

    Just watched the movie, came right back here, excited to be the first… I mean 348th commenter.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What the hell is an Adventure Time?

  • It’s a cartoon pig on a twinky.

  • Like Icare

    Fiat?

    Why would a Disney executive drive a mickeymouse car like that?
    Sure… Fiat 500 was named after Mickey Mouse but still…

  • Adzl33t

    Just go watch your Matlock old man, you wouldn’t get it, it’s too young and cool for you

  • RLMkeepitup

    looking at this answer i’m convinced there is such a thing as a silly question

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m young. What the hell is a Matlock?

  • Adzl33t

    Some show that was referenced on The Simpsons that old people watched

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Wasn’t the Simpsons cancelled?

  • Adzl33t

    I wish

  • Like Icare

    One of them Godzilla cartoons.
    Don’t know which, only saw a part of one episode, and it was in a foreign language I didn’t understand at the time. Probably German.

    Anyway… There were these characters watching some shit on TV.
    And one of them gets so agitated by the whatever is on TV, he throws a boot at the screen and breaks the TV.
    Some time later, they are again watching something on TV, he gets agitated again – but this time there is a net in front of a TV, which catches the boot. TVs are expensive kids. Don’t throw your footwear at them.

    More and more I’m starting to feel a need for a net like that.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It hasn’t been? Well I better kill myself slowly by becoming a loyal customer of Chunky’s Chicken.

  • Like Icare

    That sounds like something Omitted might have on in his dungeon.

  • Mr Flibble

    Them pointing and laughing cut me deep. I nearly soiled my Elmo Onesie.

  • Like Icare

    He grew up on a farm just like that…

  • instant relief

    This interwebzone is the worst. It keeps on stealing my time. 🙁

  • It’s part of me needing a life.
    (Imagines Mike and Jay pointing and laughing at me. Weeps and wails for nights on end.)

  • Like Icare

    I saw an episode the other day… Two actually…
    One with world of warcraft and one with something-something baseball.

    It was depressing to watch.

  • Alex

    I guess you’re about to pass the stage of neanderthal to space child, although your mind and body is ready, RLM is hampering you from taking that next evolutionary step. The old man is obviously aware of that, afraid you’re wasting your life with these hippies. All he wants, is you taking that next step.
    Nevertheless you know how the story ends, you beating the old guy into a pulp, stuffing him into pizza rolls, yadda yadda yadda
    You’re destined to play with us, forever…and ever

    http://www.critique-film.fr/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/19-The-Shining-3.gif

  • Hank_Henshaw

    the roof got damaged because of the hot farts balloon.

  • sloth

    oh.
    ok.
    i can’t keep track of all this shit.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    It shows you how bad the BvS: Department of Justice teaser is that the only comment that goes “RLM are Marvel shills” is done in jest.

  • instant relief

    By the way, what is the age of Ultron? 37?

  • I think The Hulk’s name says it all. Besides, The Cap is a boyscout. Nobody likes boyscouts.

  • Like Icare

    It’s the “We invested X money in movie Y and got Z money in Q days – if we invest X+a money in movie Y1 we will get Z+a*magic in Q days this time”-logic.

    Avengenators cost $220 million and made $270 million in 7 days.
    Avengenators 2 cost $250 million and made a measly $235 million in 7 days.

    Clearly it should have made at least about $307 million (budget + ~23%) just to keep up the pace with the original Avengenators movie, meaning that it is an utter failure.

  • Alex

    I liked it a lot. Mike’n J as the confused non-comic readers and Rich’nJack as the super nerds was an interesting dynamic, their knowledge steered the review into some crazy directions. I especially like Rich Evans occasional ‘non-reaction’ to Mike’s jokes. Jack was alright too, he seemed a little bit restrained though.
    I would like to see those two guys more often as an antagonistic couple to Mike & Jay. Kinda like WArio and Waluigi, but more original and less purple.

  • Jason Ross

    I live right by Lake Erie and it was 87º today. My ball sweat had its own sweat glands that were sweating.

  • Alex

    If they exchange Superman into Supergirl.That whole scene would become just the right amount of creepy for me to go and see that movie.

  • RLMkeepitup

    #weather

  • Mr_Wint

    Referencing a reference of a reference.

  • Palpatine

    You mean the one that was actually funny?

  • Snake Squeezer

    idk, it could be good if they’re constantly trying to kill them in ridiculously badly thought out ways.

  • Palpatine

    Mike doesn’t care about cartoons.

  • Snake Squeezer

    They were reviewing aging ultroon, not speed.

  • Alex

    Lars von Trier called. He wants him in the lead of his next film
    ‘Breaking the Jays’.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What if she was into that sorta thing? I mean maybe Cap’s gotta huge wang too

  • My ex wife

    They already made the film!

    http://imgur.com/dKI1uzc

  • Alex

    Claiming to be a terrorist, and spending the next summer(s) in Guantanamo.
    (I believe that’s what the next Griswald movie’s about)

  • Tylor Perry

    Rich Evans are you losing weight dude? You’re looking trimmer, if so keep it up.

  • Eeh. I don’t have a problem with them enjoying it. Overall, it was fun. They hit some of the most glaring bits, like the overstuffed story, etc. And, like them, I can overlook the flaws, because of how much fun it is. But some of them were pretty heavy.

    For example, to me, Ultron’s motivations and activities were generally sketchy and not presented very well. I never quite felt a sense of menace from him, outside of hating the Avengers themselves, and being a possible danger to whoever was sharing the screen. We’re TOLD that he was causing trouble to anyone who resisted. Would have been nice to SEE Ultron’s minions causing chaos in various locations. I really think this is the biggest flaw in the movie.

    I was rather surprised they were forcing Banner and Natasha together, romantically. It felt EXTREMELY forced. The lullaby moments were very nice, but the rest was just entirely unnecessary — especially in a movie already bursting at the seams! (Apparently even SHE was confused when she read the script: http://boingboing.net/2015/05/06/scarlett-johansson-maybe-hated.html)

    It almost feels like their “romance” was fabricated either in reaction to, or in service of, the expanded Hawkeye material. Which WAS really nice. If it was another character. In the previous ‘Avengers’ it seemed obvious Natasha and Clint had some potential romantic chemistry together. Now, it’s completely tossed aside. And it feels REALLY BAD.

    I dunno. I mean, you can still completely enjoy the flick even with these black marks. Just surprised these things weren’t really focused on in the review.

    And that silly “glory shot” in the forest, with all of them kicking ass in frame… I didn’t think I was going to like that from the trailer, but in context… it’s totally a comic book panel. I’m fine with it. I think they earned it. ;D

  • Franklin McBatty

    Yippee Another Half-In the Bag. Truly a magical experience.

  • Ultron still gets carded for booze because they have to card anyone who looks 40 or younger.

  • Sounds like the video game industry. A game can be a critical success, and sell a ton… but if it doesn’t exceed a specific estimated amount of sales, it’s a total failure, and the entire development team should go hang themselves.

  • The out-of-left-field romance between Mr. Plinkett and George Lucas felt completely forced. But it WAS sweet when he sang to George to calm him down.

  • mister man

    They don’t explain why they’re not mutants, but they do mention that they’re the only 2 of the 1000s of people that guy experimented on that it stuck with.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Shoulda spoken about the Super Russo bros. directing the next couple of Avengers films.

  • instant relief

    I wish someone would make a 70 minute review of The Phantom Menace and tear that movie apart.

  • DanceOfBirther

    It’s all the Nukie you’ve been huffing.

  • Its_So_Dense

    Your sush a stupit. thy oviusly liek DC I men lookit dark night rise “moovie fukng ruldled” fuckig moran

    l0l buthurt DC lmaooooooooo! and no matrx is a waste time to review for plinkit.

    (I’m sorry. I can’t type like that anymore, and I’m losing track of where the sarcasm begins and ends).

  • DanceOfBirther

    Frogs should just been called “Nature”.

    BTW, I sent RLM a copy in one of my dumps.

  • Its_So_Dense

    So, what you’re saying is that we need to re-frame the question: Who is more gay? Thor, or MC Hammer?

  • Ryan Arrigan

    Mr. Plinkett did a commentary/review of the Phantom Menace that’s meant to be listened to along with the movie.

  • Sully

    2:59 Rich Evans cock is clearly lying on the floor next to the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Who?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Hammer? I haven’t even nailed her yet.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    It means, obviously, you shouldn’t eat sausages close to bedtime.

    It’s like the old swimming thing…only, two hours.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Love lies bleeding in my hands…ooh, ooh, ooh.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Tool O’ the Man

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Tool O’ the Man…

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Jay.

    Always Jay.

    The others are just pretenders.

    Yeah. It’s Jay.

  • Franklin McBatty

    Mike looks so happy when he talks about Star Trek. Why can’t Jay just share his enthusiasm?

  • Its_So_Dense

    Did anyone else notice the green-screening in this episode, or was it just me?

  • instant relief

    Mr. Plinkett?

  • instant relief

    Their special effects are getting cheaper by the minute.
    #hackfrauds

  • Mr_Wint

    Mike’s a fucking Trekkie.

  • Mr_Wint

    Eeeeeeewwwww

  • Sully

    If you guys thought Age of Ultron was bloated, just wait til we get Civil War next year. Here’s the roster as it stands so far…

    http://i.imgur.com/UswwPew.jpg

  • Its_So_Dense

    For me, it just deepened my already-great appreciation for the amount of work that goes into everything that they do.

    #untimelyseriouscomment

  • instant relief

    I know, I love them, too. Unconditionally!

  • I’m not excited about the film if only because that comic and almost everything that came from it was fucking awful.

    I thought people were finally forgetting that it existed, but nope, they gotta announce it as the next Cap movie.

  • smogmos68

    A succulent episode. Rich Evans at the service counter looks like he just flew in on a high kite smoking some Labrador from Colorado.

  • smogmos68

    Still better than SNL and Facts of Life season 1. But not better than Yo Gaba Gaba.

  • Also, IT’S RUBY AND SAPPHIRE YOU FUCKS. EMERALD WAS THE THIRD VERSION RELEASED LATER, AND YOU CAN’T HAVE MORE THAN ONE GBA CARTRIDGE IN A NINTENDO DS, YOU FUCKING FRAUDS.

    HOW CAN YOU TRUST THESE FATASSES WHEN THEY CAN’T EVEN CHECK THEIR POKEFACTS?!

  • Eh, it was just really dirty outside. And contrasty.

  • Palpatine

    Tell me about it!

  • Kyle McDonald

    I’ve seen a lot of reviews about this movie since I saw it opening day, and most of them piss me off or stroke my ego. This review is fucking perfect. Praised what deserved it, very critical of what deserved it, and showed me a great perspective on those who already know these stories from those who don’t know them. I love every second of this movie because I know the Avengers story already. That said, i think the movie portrayed it faithfully while not regurgitating what has been done. For people who are pretend-nerds who don’t know shit, like Mike and Jay, I understand their complaints of being bloated now.

  • Franklin McBatty

    Indeed. That’s why I love him.

  • Wind Tunnel

    Sooo… Ultron built a rocket ship city in Eastern Europe…. And a robot army…in a week? At the castle the avengers just defeated? Maybe Tony Stark should have disconnected the internet when he was there. Eastern Europe must have incredible bandwidth to allow Ultron to download so fast.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    yay!

  • instant relief

    What do you want ffs?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    a TARDED.

  • Michael Collins

    There were just too many characters in this HiTB episode, I found it difficult to keep track of everyone’s opinion, which made it almost impossible to form my own.

    Was the movie any good?
    Should I watch it?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You forgot UNSUBSCRIBED!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Sully, where the fuck have you been?

  • Sébastien St-Pierre Robert

    .. he was talking about Star Trek Generations
    You sir are new here.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Unless they are the X-Men cartoon he mentioned.

  • Palpatine

    Or Star Trek: The Animated Series.

  • Franklin McBatty

    Actually, He was talking about an episode of the TV show not the movie. I’ve been a fan of RLM for almost 5 years and a fan of Star Trek for 30.

  • bluehawk222

    So are all you Snyder haters waking up in a coma that started in the 1970s? Because if you think comic books are just mindless fun kid action you have not read any comics since the 1980s. That decade we saw a comic book renaissance that was going against the crappy happy go lucky silver age schlock with Bat Baby.

    You had someone like Loeb give us Long Halloween inspired by classic film noir and the Godfather. If that got a live action adaptation would you hate it because it’s too serious and not fun? Why is it law that comic book movies must be fun and entertaining? A lot of writers see the comic book heroes as metaphors and symbols to be allegorical to our world. Marvel’s Civil War was in reaction to the Patriot Act and 9/11.

    You complain Superman didn’t save anyone in Man of Steel.
    1.) It was just him.
    2.) He stopped Zod and saved the entire world.

    Yeah it’s nice when you see the hero save a person, but AoU did it to an absurd degree. Fury was like a deus ex machina for the film. Everyone was saved! No one died! It all worked out in such a great way huh?! Even the rubble fell neatly into the ocean.

  • Wind Tunnel

    The Trade Federation is putting in place an embargo on Marvel as we speak.

  • andypants1989

    It’s because they skimped on the main Ultron storyline to include all of the infinity stone stuff, Stan Lee and side-kick cameos and 10 extraneous minutes of action. The Vision felt particularly under-developed to me and I would have appreciated another scene of him coming to terms with his newfound mortality and giving more weight to his motivations.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    The guys who did Winter Soldier

  • Palpatine

    And I told them to do so!

  • andypants1989

    I’m just gunna say it. It should have been Hawkeye. Killing off a character in it’s first appearance doesn’t really hit that hard, especially when the character is poorly played by an actor with a horrible Eastern European accent and is a raging unlikeable asshole.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    But what are their goals? What do they get out of this deal?

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Zack Snyder? What are you doing here?

  • Wind Tunnel

    From what I learned from the phantom menace… Nothing.

  • andypants1989

    They could have cut it out, all we needed was for Thor to walk off saying he needed to figure some shit out and then come back saying he figured it out. The well scene didn’t even provide that much new information anyway. Whedon was right to want it gone.

  • RLMkeepitup

    are all the people that died in the city included in the entire world group or do they get left out?

  • andypants1989

    The dialogue in the first film was much sharper and had genuine moments of humour. The example you provided shows how lacklustre this movie was in comparison.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Don’t argue with the visionary genius that is Zack Sny- I mean, bluehawk222…

  • Palpatine

    What was that black goo?

  • Palpatine

    Corrective surgery for Tey How’s face.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Ok, I guess that works, it is a kids movie after all.

  • andypants1989

    The biggest problem with Taken is they decided to set it in France, one of the countries least likely to have a powerful sex trafficking trade, as opposed to Czechoslovakia or something.

  • bluehawk222

    So you think WWII soldiers aren’t proper heroes because a lot of cities were bombed and civilians killed? It’s called collateral damage. It’s a terrible thing, but a reality. The big picture is WWII was ended and the bad guys were stopped thus saving the world but sadly with the loss of millions of lives. Superman saved the world in the big picture scenario, but couldn’t save everyone. Also you are just ignoring my point on the change in comic book storytelling and tone. Don’t hate the movie because it didn’t do what you wanted. Learn to criticize.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I like Zach Snyder as a director and I do say everything you said is half bullshit and half true.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They must be dead by now. Destroy what’s left of them

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    “all you Snyder haters”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s a movie you fuck

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That was bullshit

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Superman could have started with Metropolis, instead of y’know, punching a machine across the other side of the world.

  • bluehawk222

    I don’t think Man of Steel was a perfect film, but I’m not going to be the crybaby that doesn’t like it because it’s not Reeves Superman from the late 70s.

  • bluehawk222

    Why is it bullshit? It’s pointing out a lot of MoS haters just hate Snyder all together and haven’t liked anything he’s done. I’ve seen them trash Watchmen, 300, etc.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    When you say all you Snyder haters you implied that we all or most of hate him. If you look at our comments in previous discussions more than half of us like Snyder. He’s a flawed director sure that he can create beautiful images on film.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    I like 300. I am impartial to Watchmen. I saw Sucker Punch and it hurt. He has a distinctive visual style, he just seems to fuck with the story and it ruins it overall. Superman can be dark, and moody, but it needs a tight story where thousands don’t die.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    They’ve gone up the ventilation shaft… next shot they drop down from one. So were they up or down?

  • bluehawk222

    And what do you think will happen with Infinity War or Civil War? How many you think died in the Hulkbuster battle? Oh wait, Tony Stark said he just threw money to make it all better. Cool.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    People like me didn’t like all that much because in the reality of the movie the Superman presented their wouldn’t want to risk lives or have a fight in the city unless it was necessary to do so. But he then because the studio wanted more action but now the studio wants more humanity in the sequel. My brain is confused.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    I got more pleasure laughing at an ‘asteroid’ barely a kilometer across dropping from the clouds somehow causing extinction. A 250km asteroid took out the dinosaurs, and that had all the speed of space to help it. Physics doesn’t work like this.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You were right about one thing, master; the negotiations were short.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You’re forgetting Baron Zemo! But I am not sure how the Russos can do with all these characters, Whedon can do as evident by everything he has ever done except for that Alien movie. Maybe they can. They are talented guys though as evident by how fucking awesome The Winter Soldier was.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    People can die, but when building after building after building comes down, it’s kinda hard to say ‘he saved the day’. It’s like well, if he wasn’t on Earth, they never would have come here, also, if he had of started in Metropolis and dealt with the Kryptonians first, that would have been good too. But instead we feel good because ‘not everyone’ died. Woo.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They don’t show 911 like imagery in Age of Ultron also Tony did his best to avoid civilians. Did you see the fucking movie?

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    “all you Snyder haters”

  • bluehawk222

    It’s clear DC is doing a larger universe, why can’t they do character development through movies unlike what Marvel is doing? I’d rather be interested to see the next movie where the world has to deal with Superman and understand him rather than getting one movie, Superman instantly flying and pulling cats from trees, then going on to have fun adventures in the Justice League. A lot of good DC stories dealt with people like Batman worried about someone like Superman being overpowered, hell even Superman worried about it. In the 90s Superman cartoon he was brainwashed by Darkseid and led aliens to destroy Metropolis. Superman has flaws and isn’t perfect. That’s what I want to see.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What the hell does how DC make their cinematic universe involve what I was talking about? I didn’t mention it all.

  • bluehawk222

    Holy shit, a skyscraper literally collapsed in on itself. The fact you bitch about 9/11 imagery is clear that Snyder succeeded in presenting a more emotional story where you actually have feelings in regards to city destruction. NY was attacked in Avengers and did people scream ahhhhh 9/11 when buildings were blowing up there? Nah it was aliens, it’s cool.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Maybe because the buildings were damaged, but we saw them still standing, so maybe people got out, injured, but alive. Instead in Man of Steel, we all know thousands died.

  • Palpatine
  • bluehawk222

    I don’t even know what the fuck you were talking about, next time proofread your sentences before you make an argument.
    “he then because the studio wanted more action but now the studio wants more humanity in the sequel. My brain is confused.”

    Your brain is confused. Imagine my brain trying to decipher that

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    “all you Snyder haters”

  • Noah R.

    Palpatine’s behind it all!

  • andypants1989

    Joss Whedon has nothing to do with AGENTS of S.H.I.E.L.D. That’s his brother Jed Whedon.

  • Wind Tunnel

    Nick Fury- a man who was presumed dead.. Laying low.. Undercover.. Simply brought a huge aircraft carrier out of mothballs and took to the air around the world..no problemo.

  • Noah R.

    Rich has good beard, movie was alright, this episode was dense, that is all.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Ain’t nobody gonna fuck with Shaft. But the fact is, he had a lot of ex-shield people with him, and Rhodes, so I’m assuming the military was ok with it.

  • Bubs

    Since we’re talking about comic book movies and how much of a waste of time they are, Let’s talk about DareDevil (TM) the Netflix show.

    It fucking SUCKED. Okay, it wasn’t that bad, it was sure as hell better than what Ben Affleck pulled out of his ass with the movie. But it wasn’t that great either. They only had enough plot for roughly 2 or 3 great episodes, but they had to stretch that out across 13 episodes (each an hour long).

    They did something interesting with the bad guy in that he’s sort of a mirror image of DareDevil, like who DareDevil could’ve been if things were just a little different. But the plot was just so terrible. The Bad Guy wants to save Hell’s Kitchen in New York City, by destroying it. Nothing anyone does in the show made a whole lot of sense. And DareDevil doesn’t even put on the costume until the last 15 minutes of the season. I get what they were going for, but that was disappointing for me.

    The writing was overall pretty good. Above average I’d say, but sometimes it was just downright hokey-bullshit which sounded like it was pulled right out of the comic book. And again, a lot of the dialogue did little to advance the plot, because there was so little plot to advance.

    Overall, it wasn’t the worst thing ever made. But it did nothing to elevate the show beyond anything other than “just more comic book bullshit”. Also, I ain’t never read the comic book so if they didn’t “stay true to the source material” and you didn’t like that, do everyone a favor and shove your opinion up your ass! 😀

  • andypants1989

    The Rise of Ultron?

  • Robby

    No need for insults. Zack Snyder’s movies aren’t worth it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The ending battle in the first Avengers film was not shot and treated the same way as it was in Man of Steel. Sure the Battle of New York changed things but they didn’t show buildings falling over and camera work that looks like a Paul Greengrass film. Also the Avengers did their best to save people other than just one family.

  • Noah R.

    No need to report that until we have something to report!

  • vicomtepicabia

    So how old is Ultron?

  • bluehawk222

    Because when super powered beings fight people can end up dying. That’s the goddamn point. That Superman is really powerful and he needs to learn to keep it in control. You guys are just so used to something like AoU where the heroes have perfect evacuation contingency plans and Fury arrives in time with a skyship with hundreds of lifeboats. The story would have been better served if they succeeded but at a great cost. They were presenting Tony Stark making a difficult choice on what to do but then it all worked out.

    Hell, The Hulk’s storyline mirrors exactly what Man of Steel was doing. Banner knows he’s way too powerful and can hurt people and is afraid to use his powers.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Because his point was that they didn’t do much in the way of characterization and now they are trying to do what they call ‘backtracking’

  • Wizard Phoenix

    This is regional manager Maul

  • Robby

    I completely agree. I enjoyed it for about half the season. And then all the tension it had built up kind of fizzled out to me. I don’t regret watching it though. Vincent D’Onofrio brought the thunder.

  • Palpatine

    The biggest question about the movie is; did Ultron become a real boy at the end?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Why are you bringing up that comment now? You are going off on more tangents than The Amazing Spider-Man 2.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Even with all his lies, he never grew a nose FYI

  • andypants1989

    Jay keeps going throw weird phases with his facial hair, where he’ll have a beard with a non-existent moustache like here.

    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-dsHJ9j_pXOk/UHZ–CX8wFI/AAAAAAAAH9o/WhfoCY4XlEo/s640/Red+Letter+Media_Header.png

    Or he has a moustache that is rapidly outgrowing his beard like in this review.

    Keep it consistent Jay.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I disagree with many of your points, Bubba, but I don’t hate your opinion.

  • bluehawk222

    Because the way it was shot and treated in MoS made for a more gripping narrative. Jeez, that would be like complaining about a war movie being filmed in a way that makes the war seem too realistic. The whole point of filmmaking and cinematography is that the direct can shoot different scenes in different ways to get something out of the audience. And the fact you find the destruction in MoS more personal on some level tells me he was effective in that direction. You don’t like it? Fine. But was it bad filmmaking? No.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Surprisingly there weren’t many Pinocchio references.

  • andypants1989

    Loki was a more serious threat than Ultron.

  • Palpatine

    The first trailer made think there would be. Did he at least sing the song from the trailer?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Okay but it was meant to be an action scene and they showed 911 like imagery. In Avengers they make it more fun by having it be nothing similar to real life.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I don’t hate the movie though. Your other point I can’t comment on as I don’t read comics I just seen the movie. I’ve never cared if a movie matched a comic or was 100% faithful to its parent story. It’s impossible anyway. Man of Steel was a stinker for me but I’m glad you liked it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Twice but only kinda

  • bluehawk222

    Well clearly you are new to movies. You see you can split up a story into several parts and several movies. They then mirror the overall story structure when you look at it as a whole. Star Wars Ep IV was a happy space adventure, but then Ep V was darker and raised the stakes and left us wondering where the story will go next. I’m so sorry you don’t understand movies.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Ok, but you’re missing the point. *MOST* not all, but most people want a good, fun action flick when they see Superman, not deep spiritual entertainment (which this film was not.). When they go into a war movie, they expect blood, carnage, sorrow, slaughter, etc. People didn’t see Saving Private Ryan and ask where the unicorns were on Omaha Beach.

    Man of Steel was a movie that didn’t fit the genre, and thus it didn’t satisfy a lot of people.

  • bluehawk222

    Everyone thought he was dead including SHIELD, and the military hates him and SHIELD

  • Wizard Phoenix

    To add on to your comment I do like how they’re making up for their mistakes by making more character movies like Suicide Squad. Seriously look at Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn man.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Empire built upon a foundation. There was no foundation in MoS, just punching people in the face and Jesus metaphors.

  • bluehawk222

    Destruction being fun? That must be a thing now in cinema? And I’m tired of seeing the term 9/11 imagery. Buildings were destroyed before 9/11 and will be after it. Are we to say that TDK evoked OKC bombing imagery with the hospital?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What the hell are you talking about now? You’re like The Orchid Thief from Adaptation. You have words but there is nothing to connect it with.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Well War Machine, or the Iron Patriot, was there, and he represents the President directly, so y’know, I am throwing it out there as a possibility. Fact is, I didn’t mind the moopie, but it had flaws, I’m cool with that. Just saying, this isn’t the height of the flaws.

  • bluehawk222

    I’m sure everyone would hate Daredevil. He failed to save the city in many respects, many died, and he had trouble dealing with it. Why did it have to be so dark? Couldn’t it just be fun and silly?!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The bombing scenes in the Dark Knight were not meant to be fun, asshole. In Avengers only a few buildings were partially destroyed. The way it’s shot, the music, the banter is meant to be fun!

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Look, Zack Snyder, you’ve had a pretty good career, don’t throw it all away on a silly online debate.

  • bluehawk222

    And neither were the destruction scenes in MoS.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Okay you asshole. Daredevil is not yelling at the screen dark and gritty in the same way the Dark Knight Trilogy was. Second the MCU has gone down a dark path as evident by Captain America 2.

  • I would argue though, that final arc in TAS was done far better than MoS, because we had an entire series to build up to it and all this time to get to know Superman and his supporting cast, so the devastation of that event had way more impact. It just feels really cheap and hollow in MoS.

    Kinda like how the grittiness of Watchmen and The Dark Knight Returns were appropriate to their stories and was earned, while the slew of 90’s grimderp comics that followed in their wake tried to be just as serious and dark, but came up short because they missed the point of why there were like that in the first place.

    A problem I have personally is that DC is just pushing too much material in too short a time, and putting major character events early in their movies that kills whatever impact they might have had.

    Superman killing Zod is the best example of this. It’s been that one rule he never breaks, and the fact that he was forced to kill Mxyzptlk at the end of “Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?” was a great way to finish his story. Putting it in his origin instead with the ass-backwards reasoning that it will “teach him not to kill in the future”, as well as the weak circumstances around it, cheapens that whole aspect of the character.

    Now it’s going on in Dawn of Justice. It’s their first meeting, and they’re already aping imagery from The Dark Knight Returns, which depicted a final confrontation between the two after years of cooperation. It would be like if the Justice League was formed and the very first threat they faced was Darksei—oh wait, they actually did that in New 52.

    The problem with the DC movies from my point of view is that they want all the payoff from these iconic moment in their comics, but are only putting in a minimal amount of effort to build up to them. Like as much as I hate Civil War, I’ll give Marvel some credit, they are at least working their way towards it at a much more believable pace.

  • Wind Tunnel

    Agreed… Explain the rocket ship city ultron built in a week.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    So why give us 911 like imagery when it’s not an event like 911 and when it’s meant to like an action movie?

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Except Captain America 2 was fun, people died, bad things happened, but it ended in a positive way, people moved on, Steve was learning to adjust to life in the new world.

    In Man of Steel, it ended with Superman pretty ok with the destruction of Metropolis, “it’s ok, the bad guys are responsible for that, I shit gold”

  • Bubs

    What the fuck are you talking about? If you’re going to be satirical, try being clever

  • bluehawk222

    You can do things differently, nothing wrong with it. Superman and Batman finding friendship and cooperation after being antagonists with one another is just as good a story.

  • DC-Tiki

    I think they made Daredevil to appeal to a completely different audience though, they’ve already got the ‘fun and silly’ crowd with the movies (and I guess Agents of SHIELD, and Agent Carter.) I was actually surprised that I ended up really enjoying Daredevil (aside from a few nitpicks) because I thought I was done with the dark and gritty superhero stuff after Nolan’s Batman films ended and I didn’t respond to Man of Steel’s dour tone. Nevertheless I found Daredevil to be pretty enthralling to watch, don’t really agree with Bubs’ opinion above.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Man of Steel kinda ended in a positive way. It didn’t once you realize thousands of people died. Daredevil has a happy ending too. SPOILERS! Fisk is off the streets and Matt achieve his goal. You also feel happy that he and Foggy are friends again. And Daredevil is fun because of how well written the character’s interactions are. It fits in the MCU.

  • bluehawk222

    Not an event like 9/11? What the fuck are you talking about? 9/11 is not a unique building destruction event. Buildings have been bombed and blown up and fallen down before. Just because Snyder was filming the movie in a way that presented building destruction closer to what it is like in the real world does not mean it’s bad filmmaking and it certainly isn’t 9/11 imagery. It is if you have such a short memory of world events.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    In Winter Soldier, a few Shield agents died ‘that was their job’ so you understand the loss, it sucks, but it is less painful than an innocent family in the big city on a holiday. A bunch of neo-nazis died, and you’re cool with that, because they’re neo-nazis. Thus, the deaths were there, but they didn’t make the movie grimderp, they just added gravitas.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    By the way that movie was a big risk for Marvel and Disney to take. I mean there are some horrible deaths and ideas going on. Like the scene when Robert Redford kills his maid. I never expected that in these movies.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    When the joker blew up a building, the bottom floor caught on fire, the whole thing didn’t come crashing down on them. That’s the difference, buildings can be damaged, blown up etc. In winter soldier, a flying aircraft carrier ploughed through one. It’s ok, it was damaged but still standing. When building after building comes down, and it leaves people covered in ashes, that’s 9/11 imagery plain and simple. Do you understand what I mean?

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Yeah, but her death is made up for by him dying and that’s ok. An eye for an eye. If there was a brutal gang rape or something, that would have killed the mood entirely, or if the helicarriers careened through DC out of control. But it didn’t, the directors wisely contained the action to the carriers and the river.

    I see the irony in ‘containing’ a story around 3 giant flying aircraft carriers covered in guns.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s why I trust these guys with Civil War coming up. They can have some horrible happen, not like gangrape horrible, but they will have some way of making the bastard behind it pay. If you know anything about the original Civil War story line the spark that cause everything to happened is really fucking dark. If they something like, which based on Winter Soldier and Daredevil they could, they will make the asshole behind it pay. It’s a unique way of showing the good guys winning that is tradition movie making but it is not enraging either.

  • James Earl Jones

    Thank you for this episode, YOU FUCKS! It was great.

  • Bubs

    I didn’t find the DareDevil series to be particularly dark and/or gritty. It was no 1970’s Superman, but they didn’t even use the F-word. If they want to make the “dark and gritty” claim, I think they need a little more… oomph. Just something really dark, like a torture scene or something.

    There’s a scene where DareDevil talks about a little girl that was molested. Don’t just tell us, show us that. Make our stomachs churn. The director/writers have the job of making the audience really feel the corruption/sickness in the city. Make me hate it as much as DareDevil does; they failed to do this because they were (I assume) aiming at a PG-13 audience.

    It was hard for me to get involved in DareDevil’s “Should I kill?” struggle, because people are dying left and right in typical comic-book fashion.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t it some wannabe super heroes got into a fight with some minor villains and a whole bunch of innocent people were killed?

  • Bubs

    There’s a 4 minute musical song and dance in the middle of the second act. I found it really jarring. And at the end, a giant pizza roll came out and said “You know what you have to do. Swing hard to break the bone.” It felt really out of place.

    …What are we talking about again?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yeah it was. Now considering they let Vincent D’onofrio brutally murder people with his bare hands and have a Neo Nazi terrorist organization nearly destroy what held the movies together I am sure they can do that.

  • Palpatine

    I had a talking pizza roll come to me once. I was six years old. It told me to kill my older sister with a butcher knife. And I did.

  • More-or-less. It was a superhero reality show (like Dog the Bounty Hunter or Cops) going after some villains in hiding, one of whom was essentially a living atomic bomb.

    Which makes you think, why did the government crack down on superheroes and not shitty reality TV series?

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Scapegoats I guess. Sadly, that’s better Reality TV than what we have now.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Now that you mention Jeph Loeb, I’d love it if Hack Snyder’s movie were half as fun and Loeb’s Superman/Batman comics.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Speaking of Marvel let’s talk Agents of SHIELD. It sucks ass and I don’t know why people like it. It’s the most unsubtle show I have seen in years that tries it’s hardest to be cool but fails in so many areas. Coulson is the only good character and the only you will remember because he was awesome in the movies before he “died.” The others include nerdy girl, Ken and Gabby from Mass Effect 2, that lady who play Mulan who is now a milf, and the guy who was clearly a fucking Nazi. Do you know why I don’t call them by name? It’s because I don’t fucking remember any one’s name. If you look at Daredevil or Arrow, subtle TV shows, each character is unique and human and they don’t fill archetypes. However in Agents of we’re not as good The Shield every character is just another type of person you have not only seen on other shows by Joss Whedon but other shows in the wake of his creative-ness being all over TV. The story lines are not interesting not even after what happened in Captain America The Winter Soldier which you think could make it interesting. But no it doesn’t. Instead it becomes a rip off of Three Days of The Condor with dialogue since which gave me Phantom Menace flashbacks. It felt like a chore to get through this show on Netflix and I have never said that about any of the MCU properties or anything Joss Whedon has made for TV. I am happy that Netflix is doing a great job with Daredevil and AKA Jessica Jones. Fuck Agents of SHIELD. Is Agent Carter any good?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Am I the only one who kinda hated those comics?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    There’s no arguing that anything done in S:TAS is infinite times better whan whatever those morons Snyder and Goyer did for MOS.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    They are not great. The plots are dumb and chock full of holes. But they are fun page-turners. And I always liked Ed McGuinness’ cartoony art. Jeph Loeb’s (with Joe Kelly) run on Superman, or Superman for All Seasons are better, just like The Long Halloween and Dark Victory are better for Batman.

  • Is it weird that of all the guys there, the character I’m most interested to see besides Spidey is General Ross?

    Also, god I hope Zemo’s good. If they manage to work him in and elegantly establish the foundation for more Infinity shenangians and the Thunderbolts, I’ll be sold.

  • Percy Gryce

    “What’s rent?”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hj7LRuusFqo

    ♫ Five-hundred, twenty-five thousand, six-hundred minutes . . . ♪

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Superman For All Seasons, man that was a great comic.

  • DC-Tiki

    I see where you’re coming from with your second paragraph and now that you’ve pointed that out I would tend to agree. It was hard to sympathise with Matt Murdock’s motivation somewhat since we don’t really have a sense of what Hells Kitchen is ourselves.
    On the other hand we could argue over the semantics of exactly what “dark and gritty” is and where to draw the line all day. I’m just gonna point out that a dude deliberately rams a spike through his eye and into his brain killing himself instantly in like the third or fourth episode of this show, you’re just not gonna get that kind of stuff on the more kid-friendly Agents of SHIELD or Agent Carter tv shows. Maybe its not dark and gritty but it sure isn’t all rainbows and sunshine either, there was definitely a more down-to-earth vibe about this show so far compared to the other MCU properties on the big and small screen at the moment.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Marvel’s Agents of yawn. DC for TV, Marvel for Movies.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Even for cartoons they suck, except for that awesome Avengers cartoon.

  • Percy Gryce

    Hey, what happened to Domo? She seems to have disappeared and all her comments are deleted.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I was in my high school’s performance of Rent. It was not pleasant because I can barely hit any high ranges.

  • Percy Gryce

    Tru dat.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Yup. It stuck with the Byrne/Wolfman rules. Unlike Birthright or Secret Origin. No “Lex Luthor was Clark Kent’s classmate in high school”. That might predate Byrne/Wolfman, so to some people it is “more canon”, but it is so stupidly Silver Age-y. There’s a reason DC’s Silver Age had to be wiped out of existence.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    If only Loeb didn’t write shitty comics and shows now. I talked to Tim Sale at Rose City Comic Con about him and just said “I don’t know man, I talk to him but what we had-what he had it’s not there.”

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I was trying to avoid Rise, Dawn, Revolution and Resurrection. 😉

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I’m 13, and what is this?

  • Percy Gryce

    The tie-in with Winter Soldier was okay, but we haven’t been able to get past the first few eps of season 2.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    How do people watch this crap?

  • Jaws 007

    you say emotional i say cheap shot

  • Hank_Henshaw

    He did lose a son. That’s no joke. One can only imagine how much that has affected his life, and thus his work.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    she is taking a break. hopfull this new HitB will bring her home.

  • Jaws 007

    you see the forest, but the trees

  • Percy Gryce

    Taking a break? She replied to a comment of mine on this thread just a couple of hours ago. That’s now gone.

  • Jaws 007

    dude, man of steel sucked, sorry bro…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yeah, it was actually sad to see him lose Sam. Kid was a brilliant writer and Loeb loved him. That goodbye and tribute to him was great but you’re right. His work got slowly worse after that. I didn’t ask Sale about that because it well was too personal.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He hangs out at the manhole with us sometimes like when we watch Garzey’s Wing.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    its complicated.

  • =( No! Thats no fun. Hope she comes back.

  • Jaws 007
  • Andrew Thompson.

    i tried to like it i really did… but it was shit.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Really, Jaws?

  • Jaws 007

    somebody had to i took the bullet this time

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You fired the fucking gun

  • Wizard Phoenix

    AoS or Agent Carter and her big tatas?

  • Percy Gryce

    We’ve watched the first three eps of Agent Carter. It’s Agents of SHIELD in the late ’40s/early ’50s.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Do we at least see her tatas or see Howard Stark be killed by Bucky?

  • Percy Gryce

    Neither.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    FUCK EVERYTHING!

  • Jaws 007

    probably more dignified than a thorn rune

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Oh nooooo. Her posts ARE gone. ; ;
    How could Domo get deleted?? Did she fall on her own axe?!

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Um.

  • Jaws 007

    been there

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Almost as many times as Andy.

  • Percy Gryce

    And then the gunshot?

  • Jaws 007

    or Randy Andy as he’s known down at the manhole

  • Percy Gryce

    At least R2 wasn’t raped.

    Where would you rape R2?

    In his retractable third leg hole–Richevans has done it.

  • James Earl Jones

    No, but I did notice sparkling Jay.

    http://imgur.com/105Pqth

    Is it a setup for the next episode? Is he becoming a Stephenie Meyer vampire?

  • Percy Gryce

    Use small words.

  • JohnBigbooty

    By the way, Avengers 2 is way better than Prometheus, which got all sorts of benefit of the doubt from Jay. Just sayin’, people walk into these movies with baggage and biases and whatnot. Hell, it’s even better than Dark Knight Rises.

  • James Earl Jones
  • He’s been on before. A friendly mailman that Mike was a dick to.

  • Oh wasn’t that the Transformers review? I forgot that. I can’t remember, did he participate in the discussion?

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    If you want the F-word, watch “Powers”. That’s practically the only word that script-writer knows!
    I think Daredevil does an above-average job of being gritty.
    …But sometimes they ham up the “this poor, poor regular person” tragi-drama so much, it kind of disconnected me emotionally from the series (the older latina woman from the tenement building was a pretty good example of that).
    I was watching the first Rocky movie again recently, and reflecting on what a good job they did conveying a (sympathetic) sense of collective-despair there, without having to have the downtrodden all act like angels.
    With Daredevil, it kept reminding me of that clip from the opening of Angel, with the dumb shmucks looking upward in distress, as if they’re going: “Euhhh, SAVE US, David Boreanaz! We are the urban-downtrodden!” I just can’t… make myself care… one bit.

  • Jaws 007

    pretty dam hard NOT to be better than dark knight rises i mean shit aids is better than dark knight rises

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Well, at least you didn’t MAKE OUT with her…
    (Nah, just kidding, I totally like that they made out with each other. Luke is just so proud of himself in that scene! :3)

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    If I recall correctly, Fisk basically wanted to “save” Hell’s Kitchen by gentrifying it. Replace all the poor with Ayelet Zurer; that kind of thing.
    I guess he was basically supposed to be a self-hating Kitchen Rat.
    In contrast, Matt wants to make things better for the locals, even if that means everything stays a bit slummy. He offers a basic kind of justice and safety, but without the economic prosperity.

  • Disqus Dikus

    Usually they point their eyes at the screen, then they shut down everything else.

  • Disqus Dikus

    Who the fuck is Domo?

  • Life can be tough for a 12 year old A.I. with the voice of James Spader. All the other kids at robot school call you ‘James’.

    Like one time, science jock, Tony Stark, says “Hey James, I loved you in Sex, Lies and Videotape. Shame you can’t even buy videotape anymore.”

    Everybody in rec hall laughs at you.

    You try to stand up for yourself:

    “My name isn’t James, it’s Ultron.”

    More laughter.

    Puberty hits you hard. You daydream of running away with Black Widow but she is your geography teacher. To impress her you build yourself a body from vibranium which is the same space age material that they use to manufacture high end dildos. She tells you in front of the class that she finds your vibranium body bourgeois and decadent.

    One day, out of the blue, you attempt to extinguish humanity from the earth. You fail and are expelled from school. Nobody really knows what your motivations are. In that sense Age of Ultron is a bit like Elephant by Gus Van Sant.

  • andypants1989

    The Ascent of Ultron?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    AoS, it was too generic.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    And they forget their brain medicine.

  • andypants1989

    Prometheus: F
    Avengers: A
    Avengers 2: B-
    Dark Knight Rises: C

    This is the definitive ranking.

  • andypants1989

    It’s a terrible terrible show. I had so much good will for Clark Gregg and his character and Joss Whedon’s no talent hackfraud brother squandered it all about a third of the way through the first series. Fuck that show.

  • andypants1989

    One of the best episodes of Star Trek TNG. It’s on youtube btw. As if the follow up when Moriarty comes back.

  • andypants1989

    No, the guy the Avengers defeated at the beginning was attempting to build Stark industry style robots and experimenting with AI, but couldn’t get it off the ground, so when Ultron escaped Stark Industries by entering the internet he ended up going to that guys compound. It’s not good writing, but it was explained.

  • andypants1989

    Snyder is the worst film-maker of his generation. If you’re serious and actually like his stuff then there is something wrong with you.

  • andypants1989

    The fate of the world was at stake, pretty sure that overshadowed whatever problems various government groups had with SHIELD.

  • andypants1989

    He was a super-intelligent AI, with thousands of drones.

  • Bubs

    I think you summed up the two sides pretty well here. But that leads to a new problem: Who am I supposed to root for? If that’s Devil’s position, I just don’t agree with it. And if Fisk wants to scorch the earth and build something worth having in its place… well shit, that sounds like a pretty good plan. I think Fisk’s motivation was a little muddy… Why did he want to do this? Because his dad was scum? Because he actually cared? Because he wants to be a good person? None of the things he does/says supports any of these positions.

  • Jay Stein

    This movie looks ok. Jay looks really thin. I hope all is well

  • Jaws 007

    Hulk > Bulk

  • Mike Magnum

    I really like if someone took that “get a life” segment. And put it in a 10 hour loop on Youtube. Its a message a lot of people need to hear if IMDB is any indication.

  • Cakefarts

    I have a very sensitive shit-o-meter. I can tell shit without even having to watch it. I would not watch something like this. I have not seen it. It is shit.

  • I don’t think so. Didn’t he have polio or something? You can’t train a dick the way you train other muscles.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    This was the best episode in a good long while. Had multiple laughs out loud despite of my best attempts to suppress it at my nightly time of watching. Jack didn’t manage to ruin things in his HitB discussion debut. And I’m glad they’re back to the more concise, focused story-telling that’s about the characters instead of overblown effects and shenanigans of epic proportion.

    The effects were pretty good, as usual, but I noticed some faults in the green screen in parts in which it always used to blend in so seamlessly.

  • Wrong. Blatantly wrong.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Oh, no… From what I understand, she was on the verge of leaving for good because of certain events, and even sent out a request for her account to be deleted. She then changed her mind and everything was fine and swell again. But apparently now Dickus has Dickedher by still going through with that request, despite of Domo’s best attempts of cancelling it.

    Please, come back, Domo! 🙁

  • Jaws 007

    would you believe Bulk > Hulk

  • Ringo

    Is it because Avengers: Age of Ultron didn’t really have a main character to kind of follow? Thats what I left the theatre feeling. I actually enjoyed this one better then the first Avengers. It felt more humanistic. I liked seeming these characters at a low point and how each of them dealt with it.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    That was in the Indian Terminator movie.

  • Michael Collins

    Probably a little generous to the DKR, and unfortunately, the alphabet doesn’t stretch far enough back to be able to grade prometheus, maybe use pi or some such…

  • tOmy`

    Prometheus: D
    Avengers: A-
    Dark Knight Rises: C-

  • tOmy`

    Who the fuck is GBA?

  • tOmy`

    Awwwww, the Fox returns! And we were just about to release hounds.

  • Alex

    My theory is that after the Internet declared that Christopher Nolan made the best Batman movie, he went batshit crazy. He wanted to have it all and do the worst Batman movie too. But he underestimated the Batjihadists, who gave the film a glowing A+, a rating it doesn’t deserve, but the rating Godham needs.

    In reality the movie is rated Ss, as in “here’s your shit-sandwich, sir.
    Now eat it.”

  • tOmy`

    Welcome in my life. Or maybe you should welcome me in yours?

    Anyway, see ya on the blind side.

  • tOmy`

    Is it Facebook official?

  • Alex

    Same here. My shit-o-meter broke while using it on GOTHAM.

  • tOmy`

    Is this somehow my cue to talk about Justified?

    I… think it is.

  • Alex

    To be fair the first 2 episodes from Daredevil were interesting with decent cinematography and Ep2 has the best fight scene in a superhero franchise, after that, the show is going downhill too.

  • Alex

    Pretty much, he passed puberty, grew up, spawned a child he despised (Vision) , ended up with a fragile body, and died complaining.
    You can’t get more human than this.

  • tOmy`

    Awwwww, you miss these childhood memories once they are gone, huh?

    Unlike your older sister…

  • tOmy`

    Was that the first reference that came into your mind?

    You, sir, are a sk8rboi.

  • My ex wife

    Soiling your Elmo Onesie would definitely warrant 2 hours WOO!

  • Jaws 007

    busted

  • My ex wife

    It never ends…

  • tOmy`

    “Who is in love with Death?”

    I smell Sandman tie-in.

  • Or Deadpool?

  • tOmy`

    You know they gonna rape, destroy and murder Deadpool.

    And ironically, the movie won’t work even with this in it.

  • And seriously. Destroying a whole Universe for love? You don’t get more emo than that.

  • andypants1989

    My opinion of DKR has actually improved over time. It’s a combination of me realising that much of the backlash after it’s release was based on complaints that can be levelled at any major film, no longer being bitter about having an idealised imagined conclusion to the series in my head and the film failing to live up to it and seeing how terrible MOS was and how bad DKR could have been.

    A lot of the stuff is out of place in DKR and inconsistent with the rest of the series, but I actually like that about it now. I hated the whole prison subplot for ages, but now I like it because it actually helped give Bruce Wayne a character arc and it seems like the sort of idea you’d find in a comic book. I see a lot of the stuff that was criticised for not making sense in the movie as being consistent with comic book logic, it’s just that people weren’t ready for a more comic book style batman movie after two hyper realistic batman movies.

  • Alex

    Ahem, there was a torture scene in ep2, done by the hero himself. One guy got his head beaten to a pulp and decapitated by a car door and lots of people got killed in gruesome ways, not that I’m defending this series (I only liked the directing for the first 2 pilot episodes).

    But it was way more violent than The Dark Knight Trilogy, which was very tame in that regard. Marvel Films doesn’t have a dark ‘n gritty franchise (not that I’m aware of), so they wanted to fill that gap in their universe, I suppose.
    Problem is, I never believed that this series takes play in the same fun universe of the Avengers, they took it a little bit too far.

    It loses it’s edge very quickly. Overall, I wouldn’t recommend it.

    PS: And I don’t have to see a child molested on a television series, no thanks. Bad enough that everytime they want to write tragic female characters, there has to be a rape written in their curriculum.

  • Punkster

    I really want to see those “Superman Bleeds,” ketchup dispensers in the RLM store soon?
    I was in complete stitches at that bit.
    Great episode.

  • tOmy`

    So, since I am not a comic book nerd, nor do I really care about… these paper thingies, that you cannot download, I wonder: What is like the next cool thing that should happen in Marvel / DC universe on silver screen?

    I was hoping for Sinister Six since the day 1 (because I am in profound love with Shocker and his fisting), but since that has been apparently benched, I have no clue what is gonna catch my attention now. Deadpool? Sandman? Is someone gonna make another reboot of Hellboy that is gonna be fucking awful? Or can I get my new Constantine movie?

    Speak up, comic book people, get your nerd on.

  • andypants1989

    Even the introduction of Patton Oswalt wasn’t enough for me to watch the second series after the utter failure of the first one. If you fuck up so much that I can’t enjoy Patton Oswalt then you’ve fucked up in a truly monumental way.

  • Punkster

    The Bash Street Kids?

  • Punkster

    Oh right, you don’t have The Beano over there, how about Oor Wullie?

  • tOmy`

    Are you some kind of a species of nerd I haven’t met before? What are these things you talk about? Does any of them shoot exploding things from their fists?

  • tOmy`

    I almost pissed myself laughing at that line before it was even cool to mock it.

  • JohnBigbooty

    Pretty much. Nolan’s reputation and the buzz and expectation colored a lot of opinions. And the obligation to counter “haters” and all sorts of other internet-fueled psychoses messes with people’s minds.

  • JohnBigbooty

    This is where I’m at too.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Actually, you can download those paper thingies, since digital comics are becoming increasingly more popular.

  • Punkster

    Maybe when their in private time, I’m not sure. I’m a Scottish Nerd.

    Oor Wullie does sit on a bucket a lot, not sure that counts though.

    https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=oor+wullie&es_sm=93&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=6NxNVaDSMK3Y7AajwICABw&ved=0CC0QsAQ&biw=1366&bih=643

  • tOmy`

    I know so many people who praise these movies and the discussion usually follows:

    “I love the second one, Nolan is the fucking god.”
    “Did you see the first one?”
    “No, but I am gonna get to it. I heard it’s not as good as the second one, but it’s Nolan, come on, of course it’s gonna be the best thing since the second one.”
    “What do you think about the third one?”
    “Splosions. But it was Nolan, so of course it was great. I know he is great because I saw that second one that was great and I heard that the first one is almost as great as the second one. Nolan is great.”
    “What?”
    “Inception, brah, do you even physics?”

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I liked how they didn’t touch Black Widow’s womb in this discussion. Goes to show how they don’t give a shit about all these SJW issues or whatnot.

    I also liked how Jack didn’t get any credit but Rich did.

  • tOmy`

    I started reading like that… what was it called, Marvel Unlimited? You know, those new ones pre / post 9/11 world. I got some reading order that includes X-Man and Spider-Man and some shit inbetween. I enjoyed it more than the movies to be honest, but then I realized I need to take a break, because there is just soooo much shit to go through.

  • tOmy`

    As long as they make the bucket CGI, I am game.

  • Jaws 007
  • I love Jay, he’s the best. I got the same glazed eye look when Mike started off on the TNG tangent. I loved the series too, but don’t be that guy.

  • Jaws 007

    Prometheus sucked harder than a V – World hooker

  • andypants1989

    I like that nobody agreed with Jack saying he enjoyed the Hulk / Black Widow relationship. I also found that more than a bit unnecessary and contrived and I too thought she was fucking the guy with the arrows.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I thought she was fucking the guy with the shield.

  • Jaws 007

    i thought she was fucking me, then i woke up

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Maybe you are in a dream now….

  • Jaws 007

    (nightmare)

  • andypants1989

    It’d be funny if they just wrote her to be a love interest for a different character in every series.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    (acid trip)

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Fuck off with Beano, gimme the real Dennis the Menace.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Everyone has their interpretation of who she’s supposed to be fucking: the arrow guy, the shield guy…

    … Instead she’s fucking the guy with the big fists.

  • andypants1989

    My first thought after she touched Hulks hand in that opening scene was ‘OH NO PLEASE DON’T DEVOLVE INTO AVENGERS SLASH FICTION’. I’m betting there’s already a 50 shades of Grey type novel in the works somewhere with Bruce Banner having sex with Black Widow in Hulk form and it’ll be released with some minor changes under a different name in a couple of years time, then be made into an extremely averagely reviewed film.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Who the fuck are you?

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Well, I guess she deleted herself after all. Hopefully she will be back.

  • andypants1989

    It’s kind of stupid that they haven’t even really hooked up yet and he’s going on about how he can’t have a family. Makes him seem really immature and self-serious.

  • Punkster

    Oh my Gaaaawd! Not what I had in mind at all.

    More like this.

    http://files.stv.tv/imagebase/167/623×349/167046-bash-street.jpg

  • Jaws 007
  • Jaws 007

    ahh, i was close…

  • Jaws 007

    Hulk Sex ppl, is something you can’t unsee

  • Punkster

    You mean the blonde headed Dennis the Menace?
    The US version of ours but was changed from having a black and red striped jumper and black hair to blue and black?
    You want that LAME little shite? lol.
    I get why they changed the colours of the jumper thanks to Freddy Kruger having the same, but the hair?

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    On the off chance, where can I see it?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I could post this one gif I know, but I don’t know if that would get me into trouble.

  • Punkster

    It’s a deal! CGI Bucket confirmed.

  • Like Icare

    The Gorillaz in the mist submissiveness play was a nice touch though.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yw_95eIxoSM

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    IWho else has a dog named Gnasher?

  • Punkster

    I don’t know that answer. Did blonde Dennis have a dog called Gnasher?
    Did they change his hair to blonde too for da kids?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Constantine TV series came out last year but apparently it was nothing to write home about.

  • tOmy`

    That’s what you get when you don’t allow your chain-smoking bisexual character to smoke and fuck both genders.

  • tOmy`

    I thought she was fucking the S.H.I.E.L.D.

    #SlutShaming

  • Punkster

    When I was 7 or 8 years old, I went to a costume competition as The Bash Street Kids with 4 of my friends.
    We came in 3rd place for our efforts and when it was announced we had that award, we were addressed to the stage as The Goonies.
    So not only did we earn 3rd place, we were runners up as something completely different.
    That is a true story I thought I would share for no other reason than I was just reminded of it.
    Our costumes were complete shit btw.

  • Like Icare

    More like a minute+ shot of a rotating piece of plastic.

    $199.99 per statue. Each statue in the diorama sold separately. Order now. Our operators are standing by.

  • Jaws 007

    no no he is in the fantastic four but there could be a cross-over

  • tOmy`

    “That’s my secret. I never cum.”

  • Jaws 007

    the goonies was good, lol, could be worse

  • tOmy`

    That must be one great angry sex.

  • tOmy`

    “Slap me, Hulk, slap me har- OH SHIT SHIT SAFEWORD SAFEWORD!!!!!!!”

  • Jaws 007

    puts a new meaning to the idea of fisting

  • tOmy`

    Well that would be a Shocker.

    BADUMTS. You see how well I utilize my love of one character from the whole comic universe? I am just like you. I too do playstations and pocketmonsters.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Apparently Nolan originally planned Heath Ledger to be in TDKR as well.I don’t know if that would have saved the movie because TDKR is just all over the place.It doesn’t have so much as 1% of focus TDK had.

  • Like Icare

    Don’t know if that’s from the comics or not, but that bit is actually a nice touch.
    Probably went WAY over the heads of most of the target audience, but someone gave that whole thing some thought.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yw_95eIxoSM

  • Jaws 007

    50 shades of Green

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Nop here’s the definitive ranking

    Prometheus Z-
    Avengers D
    Avengers 2.0 E
    Dark Knight Rises C-

  • tOmy`

    Hulk Smash: The Pounding That Should Have Stopped.

  • Punkster

    I know it was completely unintentional, we kept it quiet to get the £10 book token.
    My friend’s Mum said we should never tell anybody and back then we didn’t, we were even frightened to use the book token in case we were found out… It never did get used either.

  • Like Icare

    Gray Hulk is the original 50 Shades of S&M.

  • Jaws 007

    one eyed willy had his eye on yous

  • tOmy`

    Prometheus is getting too much shit for having some sort of a Garden State pretentious cancer vibe to it.

    However, the first half really should make the final mark a bit better. I really enjoyed it. Then the movie lost it’s shit.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    http://i.imgur.com/a6aDdol.gif

    Jack actually mentions this gif at the beginning of discussion.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yep. That’s the one.

  • tOmy`

    Why do you know how to find such things? What is wrong with your wanks?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    it’s all over internet brah. Maybe if you ventured outside of A.V. club once in a while you would find such gems as well.

  • Like Icare

    He looks like a little Jack.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    In all honesty the film isn’t all bad.There’s some really well directed sequences,the cinematography is gorgeous and the production design is sublime.Lindelof’s script is just Garden State level of prententious shite like you said tho.

  • tOmy`

    Quite honestly, the only “pop” sites I visit are AV Club (solely because of their TV show reviews) and this cesspool. I am not that interwebz active.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    scroll up

  • Punkster

    I agree it wasn’t great but I still enjoyed it for what it was.
    As for Heath Ledger, the TDK was meant to end with Batman taking the Joker into the Arkham Asylum and if you wanted to continue that story you had to play the Batman: Arkham Asylum game.
    Which begins where TDK ended but as we know he died before those scenes were shot. So the game was made that way anyway and any references to the film tie in removed.
    TDKR was to have Batman visiting Joker in Arkham for information on that movies antagonist, which I think was meant to be Penguin? (that may be wrong, but not Bane anyway)
    These are not facts in by the way but I do remember that story from somewhere? Whether it is true or not I don’t know, I’m just sharing what I had learned.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I wanna say it’s your loss but that would probably be a lie.

  • Punkster

    Lol does he? I don’t see it.

  • Punkster

    Once you go green…

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I do not believe that Arkham Asylum thing to be true. The tone between the game and the movie is so far off that it’s impossible to think the two would have any intentional connection. Or are you saying Batman: Arkham Asylum was originally intended to be a bland, shitty movie license game?

  • OR you could spin it the other way ’round and say she’s the female version of a stud.
    #FemaleStudEmpowerment

  • … Clever girl?

  • OH MY GOD. CANNOT UNSEE. Still, Mark Ruffalo does look like the comic book Hulk.

  • tOmy`

    *foursome

  • Alex

    I heard the same thing, it was supposed to be closer to the Arkham Asylum storyline with the Joker starting a revolt, while Batman is trapped with them.
    Sounds much more simple to me, than the convoluted spectacles he churns out ever since Inception.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Don’t be silly now.

  • tOmy`

    … you can go double black?

  • Punkster

    Okay I just looked this up and this was all I could find.
    So you are right… Sorry.
    http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/the-movie-tie-ins-that-youll-never-play-754

  • Like Icare

    Ryan Reynolds COULD pull that off if they lay off on the product placement this time.

  • Your vagoon prolapses.

  • Punkster

    Oh so that wasn’t just some vague rumour I had confused myself over? I thought I had some of that correct. lol.

  • tOmy`

    I love how the page went silent after the Hulk Gash gif. Wonder what is everyone up to…

  • Dammit I just had a shower…

  • Kawaii as Fuck

    I think one word sums up this episode, NERDS!

  • Said the person with an anime school girl in their avatar…

  • Punkster

    Golden?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I’m just about to.

  • You can still rub one out before you do. You know you want to.

  • Like Icare

    You are imagining it or buying into the troll ride.

    They had no clear plans for the third movie.

    Apart from Nolan stating that he would NEVER put the Penguin into any movie as it was too unrealistic a character.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I have taken that into consideration.

    Just one more look at that gif…

  • Alex

    I mean yeah, it was just hearsay from a so-called anonymous ‘insider’, and spread through some movie sites.

    But there weren’t many famous Batman graphic novels left that they could scavenge. They already used The Long Halloween, Year One, bits of The Killing Joke and other stuff I guess. There weren’t many options left, either the Dark Knight Returns or Arkham Asylum which is bizarre and very Joker-centric, but with Ledger’s death, obviously out of question, I don’t know why they picked Knightfall tho.

  • Punkster

    No troll ride. I already stated that I was not sure of that information.

  • Rusty.

  • Kawaii as Fuck

    Yeah, I know, I’m a total nerd myself too, but I’m just saying…

  • Punkster

    Yes thank you. I knew I heard something along those lines.

  • Jaws 007

    yeah well downey does fill out that iron man suit rather well, ya cant blame him

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Funny how wrong Arkham City proved that. Penguin is the most realistic of the villains in that game. He doesn’t have to be a deformed mutant, you know.

  • Punkster

    Yeah isn’t Penguin more like a business man from high society or something?
    It was Tim Burton that made him into that silly monster penguin beast thingy right?
    I can see why Penguin would be unrealistic, I mean there just no such thing as high society business men in this world of ours.

  • Jaws 007

    racist

  • Alex

    But from the few pages I read, the comic is very bizarro. The videogame already made huge changes stylistically turning it into a very straightforward take of said material (more in the vain of the animated series).
    I don’t know what Christpher Nolan would have done if those rumors were true, but I do think that a ‘realistic’ take of Arkham Asylum is not very interesting.
    Maybe someone else will do an adaption in the future, I hope it’s soemone who’s not shy to use surrealism like Refn or Jonathan Glazer.

  • Alex

    Funny, I remember Mike and Jay giving the movie a pass. Athough their are usually the first ones that notice if a movie doesn’t stick to it’s themes and is a muddled mess, kinda what they accused Age Of Ultron to be.
    To be fair, they enjoyed both movies, so Marvelitis my ass.

  • Alex

    only this.

    Prometheus: E+
    Avengers: B-
    Avengers 2: B+
    Dark Knight Rises: SS

  • WrongWithYourFace

    It’s been a good while since I read the comic, so I can’t tell how much of the game is based on that but I figure it was not much more than the basic premise.

    That being said, a realistic Arkham would indeed be pretty boring. You need all those crazy villains to make it interesting.

  • Alex

    It’s because it usually won’t get lower than this. And I can’t keep this thread open while my niece is running around here-_-
    I’m not ready having that conversation about interspecies procreation now.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    He’s basically just a sadistic mob boss who runs a high class social club as a front to his shady business.
    Sure, he has the umbrella and bird gimmicks but you really don’t even need them. The umbrella could be used as a one-time nod with a blade coming out of the end, much like in Batman: Earth One. And rare birds could just be a hobby of his.

    The aforementioned comic is a really good example of how to do a realistic Penguin right.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Check the ‘deadly farts’ jar. That’s how you tell.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    And did he get to that beacon?

  • Like Icare

    Had they stuck to Knightfall, that would have been great.
    There is so little in that “event” that can be used in a Nolanverse movie that they would have had to come up with a better story.

    Sadly, they went with No Man’s Land.
    Which is a piece of shit even worse than Knightfall.

    And, as they still had bupkis with those two crapfests, and they were being pressured to “MAKE THAT MOVIE NNNOOOOWWW!!!”, one Nolan said to the other “Hey! You know what? We could stick some of the Tale of Two Cities into this one. We only have one city… but fuckit.”
    To which the other Nolan replied “Oh yeah brah. That shit will be dope! Wait… I just realized I never read that book. OMG! Like, how did that happen, me being British and all.”
    http://collider.com/dark-knight-rises-tale-of-two-cities/

    So, a BUNCH of references to the Dickens novel were jammed straight into the movie.
    Down to that shot of Bane standing idly around the courthouse, playing with strings. The whole ordinary citizen thing. Gordon’s speech and the “reveal” of Dent’s insanity and crimes. The whole “Fire rises!” thing that went into the title even. And much more.

    NONE of it fits to the movie, and more importantly, none of it fits to the way Nolan works – where his movies are built around an idea dealing with basic human psychology and emotions with little paradoxes tied to those ideas being strewn around the main points in the movie.

    It’s still a decent movie. Compare it to other conclusions to a trilogy and there are but a few that could be said to be as good or even decent. Third movie was and still is just an excuse to quickly cash in on the success of the franchise. Just ask Iron Man. Blade. Spiderboy. Superman. Eddie Murphy.

    TDKR beats a whole bunch of them.
    Mainly due to the top notch cast, excellent production, the whole crew, a competent and skilled director…
    But the story is simply… crippled by the original material it was based on.

    And the dumbest… RETARDED… MORONIC… FUCKING RAIN MAN ON HORSE TRANQUILLIZERS STUPID thing is – they had their theme. It’s right there.

    They wrote it in by the necessity of the story making any logical sense – but they’ve missed it.

    It’s adapt or die.
    Simple… yes.

    But they could have made a much stronger movie around that. All important bits are already there.
    With old approach and tactics not working for Batman anymore, same for police, Catwoman wanting to change her life and get away from it all, the entire “becoming Robin” arc, heck… even Gordon was about to be canned for not fitting in anymore.
    And everyone who stuck to the old ways of League of Shadows and “it’s all about moneys” ending up dead.

    PLUS it could have been a mirror image of the whole “die a hero or live long enough to become a villain” thing as it is another angle on the whole human mortality issue.

    It just needed to be emphasized a BIT more in favor of the whole “tale of two cities” references and it would have been a FAR FAR BETTER THING.

  • Like Icare

    Buying into. Not driving.

    Someone came with that troll bus, and you bought a ticket.

  • Mark Bisone

    Apparently all blockbusters today have to either be explicitly about revenge or have the word vengeance somewhere in the title. What exactly are all these guys avenging, anyway? Captain America won WW2, Iron Man has a shitzillion dollars and is banging Gwyneth Paltrow, Thor’s dad is Space Allah and The Hulk can apparently knock down ten buildings and fuck a puppy to death on live TV without going to jail. They should cheer up and quit all this revengening!

  • Like Icare

    That’s a third rate…no… fifth sixth rate throwaway villain not worthy of Batman’s attention.
    Bruce Wayne deals with those openly. Or he lets Fox deal with them.
    Didn’t you get the memo?

    In both previous movies. In the third one he doesn’t even give them the time of day and Bane kills them off somewhere off screen.

    Men in suits are no threat to Batman.
    Which is why “Penguin – Man in a Suit” would not work.
    He would have to be a mutant… and that would be stupid.

  • Alex

    In Avengers 3 they’ll avenge that this movie has made so little money compared to the first Avengers movie.
    Revenging is a serious buisness, bro.

  • If I were banging Gwyneth Paltrow in the movie, I’d probably begrudge the whole world. #BatantSexism

  • tOmy`

    Captain America: WOMD (where Cap plays a “peacekeeper” covering up elementary-schools-go-boom clusterfucks in Iraq. He hydrates and occasionally says: Man, this is not what I signed up for.)

    Captain America: PTSD (obvious.)

    Iron Man 4: Making Moar Money

    Thor: Fixing The Rainbow Bridge (possibly featuring Mario Kart characters)

    The Hulk: That One Week When I Didn’t Get Angry (cooking, cleaning, watching TV show re-runs…)

  • Like Icare

    It’s either mutant or businessman gangster for Penguin.
    One won’t work because stupid, the other wont work because too small and pointless.

    Even Bruce Wayne doesn’t bother with that level of villains.
    Fox deals with them. They get killed off by memos.

    Penguin is no Joker, to take the beating and still laugh at Batman.
    He folds as Batman enters the room.

    Only way he works is if there is some bird-themed scheme.
    And even then, it’s a mere annoyance to Batman.

    Unless he decides to fire missiles at Gotham City, from the backs of his penguins… and we’ve seen that already and it was retarded.

  • Alex

    Is Thor gonna use his hammer for good and install a fucking fence on that damn Rainbow bridge. Too many cute characters lost their reckless life on that damn bridge.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    No threat to Batman but a threat to Gotham. Batman is trying to protect his city, not look for someone to match him. I think Penguin as a mob boss would have made for a great villain in Begins, instead of the grandiose plans of Ra’s Al Ghul. They could have taken stuff from Year One and just thrown Cobblepot into the mix as the major threat.

    In the later movies later movies it wouldn’t have worked because the stakes need to be always higher, but as Batman’s first big fish, Penguin would have worked fine.

  • Domo_Returns

    So I remake my account, come back to read new comments, and find Hulk porn.

    Never change, RLM comments. Never change.

  • Jaws 007
  • So, is your reboot a gritty take on the character (a.k.a. Man of Steel) or are you more fun-loving like Marvel?

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    It would. Sweet, sweet trouble.

  • Domo_Returns

    I’m the sequel that was remade 20 minutes later for no good reason.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    It’s good to have you back. You have a long way to go if you’re to reclaim the spot on The Wall of Shame that is rightfully yours.

  • Jaws 007

    Domo 2 – Electric Domoaloo

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Luckily cashier wife volunteered to be my test dummy.

  • Domo_Returns

    Not sure I want it, to be honest. Mark Bisone kept shitting rap lyrics all over me. Sully’s fur sticks to all my clothes, and nothing in my wardrobe is orange.

  • Like Icare

    First movie – sure. Even as a throwaway character in the second.
    But not after Joker and Two Face. Even Scarecrow…

    Though… he would not work as a main villain even then.
    Ra’s would still be needed, but Penguin could have replaced Carmine Falcone.
    And have him end his run by becoming the first Bat-signal.

  • Domo_Returns

    Hulk should probably direct “Gardens of the Galaxy.”

    Definitely therapeutic.

  • Like Icare

    Sure. Just look at Jack, and imagine him in black and white only smaller.

  • Domo_Returns

    #Mispellinghashtagsiswrong

  • Jaws 007

    well he does have a green thumb

  • #Fixed

  • WrongWithYourFace

    #Hashtagshaming

  • Domo_Returns

    You own that misspell, Maggit. Don’t let those #grammarnazis tell you what to do!

  • Like Icare

    Space Allah dad is a nice touch.

  • Jaws 007

    Welcome to the Hotel RLM, you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    The Samaritan story was supposed to address his inner-conflict / self-deception. Whether the series pulled it off 100% is up for debate.
    What I don’t understand is: once Hell’s Kitchen was filled with Apple stores, and art galleries, luxury condos, and fancy restaurants, what was Fisk going to do with all the criminals? Reeducate them? Export them to the next development community? What…? D’Onofrio does a bully job with what they gave him, but I’m still not convinced the writing was 100% tight.

  • Mark Bisone

    She’s wearing a darker version of her outfit, with the webbing texture all over it. Plus, no underpants.

  • My ex wife

    I have been guilty of this in the past. Thanks

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    WAH~! *wipes nose on sleeve*

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    WAH~! *wipes nose on sleeve*

  • andypants1989

    Ripping off a shot from another movie doesn’t make it not stupid sorry.

  • andypants1989

    Ripping off a shot from another movie doesn’t make it not stupid sorry.

  • “That’s gonna leave a nasty gash”. I mean, wow, it puts Ron Jeremy, Peter North and the Mandingo to shame.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Just one less warm-body for me to climb over in that Game of Thronesian ladder of ambition… -_-
    (I picked up Littlefinger’s self-help book on tape yesterday.)

  • Mark Bisone

    I’ve been considering committing Disquseppuku myself, lately. I’ll never beat Taco, no one can.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Mio is under my protection!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    No “Revenge of Domo”?

  • My ex wife

    I’m still waiting for the Plinkett / Palpatine sitcom we saw the pilot for.

  • Mark Bisone

    I had no particular plans to catch this on the big screen, but I just got word my niece and nephew might be dragging me out to see it tonight. Good to know that it will at least feature inter-species sex between ScarJo and a giant green hate-monster. Something for everyone.

  • Jaws Ate My Baby

    well we know how she got the scars now

  • My ex wife

    What if Mike went full beard? Could he out shine Jay?

  • sepiajack

    Nice RLM assembled their own avengers for this. Loved the meta-PRE-REC crossover. My fiance doesn’t usually watch HitB with me, but watched this one, and she was laughing that their reactions were almost virbatium to mine

  • AvenJaws 2 – Moar AvenJawsing
  • Mark Bisone

    Has anyone commented on Richevanses beard yet? He has a beard now kinda.

  • AvenJaws 2 – Moar AvenJawsing
  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Pheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew. Also, still have not seen that promised Hulk smashing.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    They picked Knightfall because the film needed to be bigger and more epic then the last two combined.

    “oh Bruce gets his back broken yet recovers from that to still save the day? Looks like we have a clear winner! Start writting that first draft Jonathan!”

  • Michael Collins

    Just curious, but why did you remake your account?
    Welcome back btw..

  • Somewhere near the beginning. I think it’s dark and gritty.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I’m not Andrew therefore I’m safe.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Oh. That was, unexpected. Hmm.

  • Like Icare

    Not a shot from a movie.
    Primate bonding technique by showing submissiveness to the alpha.
    That movie was based on real people and apes and shit.

    Alpha ape figures out you’re not a threat. He calms down. He stops being green.

    Smart. Smarter than trying to shoot him with elephant tranqs or something.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    The Rich Evans reboot we always wanted.

  • Domo_Returns

    I would be interested in testing out a theory.

    Because the disqus rating formula seems to now revolve around:

    Number of followers
    Like/Comment ratio
    Sheer volume of comments

    I think if 50 more of us started following Percy Gryce, maybe Taco would finally be dethroned from the Wall of Shame.

  • But didn’t deserve.

  • I’m pretty sure vomit reswallowing is a fetish for someone.

  • You do know what the best part of waking up is?

  • Domo_Returns

    I wish we could talk about the red worker vests Jack and Rich were wearing.

    They were pretty darn sexy Walmart Games Employees.

  • Billy_Whizz

    Or perhaps…I don’t know…Billy Whizz?

  • Domo_Returns

    I had over 3000 comments filled with witty comments, jokes, and gifs.

    Now that they’re all gone, I can reuse ALL of them, and none of you can accuse me of re-using my material.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Well, my gf is gone for few days, already ordered a gigantic pizza and saw a full penetration shot featuring a giant green dick. Saturday evening confirmed.

  • Racist.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Repost

  • Domo_Returns

    Or needed.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Stop, can’t get any harder.

  • Yes. This.

  • Domo_Returns

    You can’t prove it!

    /insert Hot Topic Joker tattoo.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

  • Billy_Whizz

    I approve greatly of Jack’s presence in this episode. More Jack!

  • Marvel has announced the Silver Streaker film. Coming in 3234423 http://img.soundtrackcollector.com/cd/large/Silver_streak_Vol5.jpg

  • Domo_Returns

    Does your pizza contain green sausage?

    #Googlegreensausage

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Oh please.PreRec alone gave us more Jack then humanity ever needed.

  • tOmy`

    At least it fills the woman quota right off the bat. Dodging internet backlash like a pr0.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Oh no, the salami and jalapeňos will now be even hoter.

  • AdeoAdversary

    My favourite part of Age of Ultron was when the Olsen twins shot red liquid energy everywhere….oh wait I could have that wrong, I’m so confused

  • tOmy`

    I thought it was just faulty CGI.

  • Like Icare

    It kinda looks like a beard that the people who “become male” through an operation have grown so they would look more alpha male and not like an effeminate nerd – i.e. a victim and a pray for stronger males in the pack.

    Jack may be passive-aggressively bullying Rich off screen.
    That puffiness in his face might not be butter, but crying instead.

  • Domo_Returns

    I wouldn’t mind 3 folks on HiTB. 4 people kept the conversation generalized and they couldn’t get into the nitty gritty complaints.

    And we love nitty gritty complaints.

  • tOmy`

    Or seen.

  • Unless it was that one episode of Star Trek.

  • Domo_Returns

    Blind people don’t know how lucky they have it.

  • Billy_Whizz

    I commented on it when the episode started…to myself…

    No one was around to hear it, I live alone.

  • Domo_Returns

    Maybe until it’s fully grown, we should just call it facial fuzz.

  • Captain Turbo

    When are Mike and Jay going to review ‘Paddington’? Huh? Huh? Huh?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I don’t think Rich would go out of his way to see anything that wasn’t a “fun” blockbuster.Like when RLM does their yearly recaps when Jay and Mike would start listining depressing but very well made independent films I don’t think Mr.Evans would have anything to say either in terms of technical aspects or in evaluting the subjective value of the story.

  • Domo_Returns

    “That’s why you’re not on this show, Rich Evans.”

    –Mike Stoklasa

    I still like the 2 person setup the most, but it is fun to me that they mix things up, especially after being in a hot air house for 6+ months.

  • Billy_Whizz

    Next week. My 7 year old nephew joins them for the review.

  • Like Icare

    That whole bit is actually about SilverQuickMcJackAss marrying a mom figure twice his age, whom he met while she was directing a 19-year-old him in a movie about a young John Lennon and his weird relationship with his mom and aunt.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0Qu62_vPbo

    They have two kids.
    Who will be in their teens when he gets to his 40s – while their mom will be going through her late 60s…
    You can guess who’ll be the Silver Streaker in the family.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    They should bring Tim Heidecker back.On Cinema proved he’s a true film scholar

  • AvenJaws 2 – Moar AvenJawsing

    *bum fluff

  • #OlderFemaleRelationshipShaming?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Fake Plinkett is starting to resemble real Plinkett.

    #Artimitatinglife

  • tOmy`

    @Tapey

    Have you ever seen like a proper meth-head in the Czech Republic? You know, scratches, fucked up skin and what not? This always bothered me a bit in Breaking Bad – where did they get their statistic about meth-use here? I think they got a wrong assumption from the fact that we are possibly the biggest “cooks” in central Europe, supplying whole Germany etc., and didn’t check if we use this stuff ourselves this much.

  • AvenJaws 2 – Moar AvenJawsing

    and next on half in the bag watch rich mike n jay discuss divine secrets of the sisters of the ya ya sisterhood ..cant wait

  • WrongWithYourFace

    And the stretch marks.

    #Realwomenonbigscreen

  • AvenJaws 2 – Moar AvenJawsing
  • WrongWithYourFace

    Now, that would be a great username. Maybe Andrew himself should try it the next time he gets banned.

  • sepiajack

    The Mike TNG discussion and Jay’s slow death was amazing.

  • Like Icare

    #OedipusComplexShaming?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I actually sort of wanted to hear what Mike had to say. I bet it’s going to be a Patreon exclusive.

  • sepiajack

    Also I was so glad to see the VCR repair show make its return, I like the Plinkett house set and all, but I the shop is my favorite, always feels like the best HitBs are there, and the look is very upbeat

  • sepiajack

    That’s why I found it so funny, because I’m a big TNG fan and so I imagine this is what it’s like for some of my friends. Hopefully you’re right about the patreon idea. We actually just watched both Moriarty episodes back to back last week so it was a timely reference for me.

  • tOmy`

    We could always play dirt and ask for some bans.

    I am on the way up myself, I could use some little help tagging people as inappropriate.

  • Domo_Returns

    I told an employee at our local pool that he reminded me of Moriarty a few days ago. He was young, but had a full head of wavy, graying hair, and a very stern face.

    “You mean the guy Benedict Cumberbatch hates?”

    I didn’t feel like doubly insulting him by saying “No, the Moriarty in TNG.”

  • sepiajack

    Hahaha that’s great

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    They did a good job with that one. Unfortunately, they are being forced to ignore the direction they were going in order to cram every single event comic of Marvel’s from the past decade into the third part of a trilogy that was supposed to be about Captain America. Let’s see how THAT works for them.

  • AvenJaws 2 – Moar AvenJawsing

    remember when superman saved a young girls cat from a tree? now.. he beats up the girl, fucks the cat, and pisses on the tree on his way out to fight batman, who no longer has bat repellent spray, he eats sharks now.. roar, oh yeah cant wait for it, superman v batman, so dark, your children will run screaming in terror, thank you hack snyder, yor my hero

  • sepiajack

    Haha yes, though to be fair upon recently rewatching that movie I discovered that after he saves the cat and flies away the girl goes inside and then her mom beats her for telling lies when she tries to tell her about superman.

    And it’s played as a joke!

  • AvenJaws 2 – Moar AvenJawsing

    that does actually happen lol

  • sepiajack

    To be filed under ‘would never happen in a movie now’

  • tOmy`

    ARE YOU SAYING THAT SUPERMAN WILL BEAT BATMAN?! SUPERMAN BLEEDS, BRO.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Well, I haven’t seen any of Star Trek but what Mike was describing sounded fun. And it was nice to see him being so enthusiastic about something.

    Also, I’m not a Patron, so I’ll never get to know the truth.

  • tOmy`

    Go Hawaii or go home.

  • Mark Bisone

    I keep thinking that this whole superhero craze will be ended by one spectacular bomb of a film, but audiences keep proving me wrong. About the only thing that will stop this crazy train will be if real superheroes are created and they start shooting lasers at Disneyworld and Warner Brothers Studios. But then we’ll be assaulted by a wave of superhero Reality TV shows.

  • sepiajack

    I think TNG would be interesting get into as a show now that its 25 years old. On one hand I know that part of why I love it so much is nostalgia and having grown up with it (I was 8 when it started), it used to be the show my whole family watched together. It’s certainly dated in some respects, but I think in some ways would feel really fresh in today’s TV landscape because it’s so earnest and optimistic.

    Its definitely one of those shows that takes a while to find it’s footing, much of seasons 1 and 2 are pretty uneven, but seasons 3-6 are amazing, and the series finale is probably one of the best and most fitting of any show I can think of.

    The 2 Moriarty episodes are: ‘elementary dear data’ and ‘ship in a bottle’ if you just wanted to watch those 2,

  • Earth

    I liked this not just for the comment but because you’re Billy Whizz.

  • Earth

    I only started watching Star Trek recently. Don’t worry. It ain’t nostalgia. The show is just pretty damn good.

  • Mark Bisone

    That’s a really great scene, though. Actually that whole sequence of Superman’s first night on the job was a classic: captures a cat burglar, foils a bunch of armed bank robbers, rescues Lois Lane from a helicopter crash and then, to cap the evening off, saves a cat from a tree. Perfection.

  • tOmy`

    You know, I find this whole Batman’s “Do you even bleed, bro?” approach highly suspicious. What, he didn’t like do some kind of a background check on a dude he wants to kill? Like… if he can kill him at all? Is he gonna just beat him for 5 minutes with a baseball bat (hah, get it?) and then go: “Oh, shit. Well, never mind, rain check on that whole murdering thing? I am off to some random cafe in Paris again.”

    That is one very sloppy planning.

  • Ren1

    Fun episode!

  • Ren1

    Fun episode!

  • sepiajack

    Yeah, the thing is now with the foreign market and just the way movies work nowadays it’s actually pretty tough for something to really bomb.

    I do think the end of this craze is imminent though. I’ve enjoyed all the Marvel films, and I’m a big fan of the Xmen movies too, but especially with DC poised to flood an already flooded marketplace with likely to be dismal product I think the end is nigh.

    I think Marvel will make it to their Infinity War 2 parter but then that’ll be it, and I think they’ll only make it there because of all the built up good will and that audiences are now invested the same way they would with a long running TV show. But no phase 4. and DC will be DOA, I think the plug will be pulled on their movie universe midway through their planned schedule.

    I think Xmen will survive because 1) the movies are more of a scifi franchise than a superhero one, closer to Star Trek and Planet of the Apes than Avengers or spiderman. 2) it isn’t tied to any one character or actor so they can keep revitalizing it. 3) it’s a valuable property for FOX so they will keep churning out xmen movies even if we get more cheap Xmen origins wolverine type placeholder movies if for no other reason then to keep the movie rights

  • sepiajack

    Yeah, the thing is now with the foreign market and just the way movies work nowadays it’s actually pretty tough for something to really bomb.

    I do think the end of this craze is imminent though. I’ve enjoyed all the Marvel films, and I’m a big fan of the Xmen movies too, but especially with DC poised to flood an already flooded marketplace with likely to be dismal product I think the end is nigh.

    I think Marvel will make it to their Infinity War 2 parter but then that’ll be it, and I think they’ll only make it there because of all the built up good will and that audiences are now invested the same way they would with a long running TV show. But no phase 4. and DC will be DOA, I think the plug will be pulled on their movie universe midway through their planned schedule.

    I think Xmen will survive because 1) the movies are more of a scifi franchise than a superhero one, closer to Star Trek and Planet of the Apes than Avengers or spiderman. 2) it isn’t tied to any one character or actor so they can keep revitalizing it. 3) it’s a valuable property for FOX so they will keep churning out xmen movies even if we get more cheap Xmen origins wolverine type placeholder movies if for no other reason then to keep the movie rights

  • Earth

    Holy shit, Beano references on RedLetterMedia? Where did all you limeys come from?

  • Earth

    Holy shit, Beano references on RedLetterMedia? Where did all you limeys come from?

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Oh buddy, last week, I have seen the equivalent (a little thing called pervitin being the culprit) many many times. And heard the stories and spend hours with those people. Not fun. especially when you get to realize how fucking real those people are.

  • Mark Bisone

    No French cafes for this Batman. Considering this whole flick looks like it was shot inside the Devil’s leaky asshole, he’ll probably retreat into the sewers and feast on live rats.

  • Mark Bisone

    No French cafes for this Batman. Considering this whole flick looks like it was shot inside the Devil’s leaky asshole, he’ll probably retreat into the sewers and feast on live rats.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    I took it as a rough foreplay talk.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    He will burnnnn you.

  • Earth

    Apparently they’re wanting to make a Bananaman movie

    http://www.bananamanmovie.com/

  • Palpatine

    Yes. This.

  • sepiajack

    Batman v Superman: Gay Sex Only Allowed

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    So, are we getting into the Image phase of comicbook movies finally? I want dem pouches.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    “Do you even need lube?”

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Speaking of which, where my Omi at?

  • Earth

    #PEELTHEPOWER

  • Like Icare
  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Finally, been waiting for this.

  • sepiajack

    Am I naive to think that if enough WB execs saw that RLM MacDonald’s commercial of the bleeding superman ketchup dispenser we might still be able to prevent B v S from even being released?

  • AvenJaws 2 – Moar AvenJawsing

    if only

  • tOmy`

    Really? I mean I know few people who tried it few times / been addicted for a while, but they are just your usual folks, nothing horrifying. And as far as I know, they are all clean now.

  • sepiajack

    Oh yes absolutely! I made the mistake of seeing Man of Steel in the theatre (tricked for the last time by Snyder with his good trailer bad movie switcheroo scam) so I found a blu ray of the richard donner superman and wanted to cleanse my brain of it. Hadn’t seen that movie since I was a kid, and only ever the edited for TV version, so I quite enjoyed it. I feel like basically anything you need to say about Superman is in that movie.

  • Billy_Whizz

    Two Marvel movies a year plus a good Bryan Singer X Men movie every three years or so would be how it would be if I had my way. These are the ones I enjoy and I think that’s a nice amount. No DC, it’s clear WB don’t know what they’re doing. Unfortunately, I do not make the rules.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    I mean, everything is a recreational drug until you get addicted. I know people that tried it just few times as well. But the place I doing something of an internship is for addicts, so you really get to see some bad examples.

  • sepiajack

    Cool. I’m glad it’s still so popular, really wish paramount/CBS could get a new, smart, optimistic Star trek show back on TV where it belongs. I love game of thrones, breaking bad, sopranos, mad men, orphan black, daredevil, house of cards, etc etc etc et al as much as the next person, but everything is so dark and cynical now it’s starting to have a numbing effect.

    Would be nice to have a quality show on TV now with today’s production values but with TNG’s optimism and ‘lead by example’ and true heroism and high road approach.

  • tOmy`

    Hehe, funny you should mention that, I was once “dating” this girl that kinda looked like a jailbait, so I had to ask, if she eve-

    Ah, fuck it, too far.

  • Like Icare

    They are slowly and carefully tiptoeing around the fact that – SURPRISE! – movies never EVER bomb.
    They will always make the money eventually.

    It is not a cake making industry where if you make a poison cake you go to jail and all cake must be destroyed.

    You still get to peddle a bad movie, collect money from it for years to come, DESPITE writing it off as “a boxoffice bom – we had to sell my kid’s ovaries to pay the creditors your honor”.
    It is only that they may not return as much as people with the money were wishing them to.

  • sepiajack

    I would fully endorse that.

  • Mark Bisone

    I didn’t particularly care for any of the X-men movies I’ve seen. I guess the one with Kevin Bacon in the comedy helmet was somewhat amusing, but I can’t recall a single thing about it. On the other hand, I mostly enjoyed Nolan’s Batman pictures. Their tone was dark but not completely joyless. It seems they learned the wrong lesson from that success, since every product they’ve been pushing since then looks like a horror movie about masked murderers.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Oh, finally someone mentioned jailbait on here, we are approved for the Internet.

  • sepiajack

    Lone Ranger is one of the few real bombs in recent years, a super expensive movie that just completely tanked.

    I think B v S will make money, it will make a profit, but just like MoS it will not be the Avengers/TDK/Furious 7 type mega hit that DC wants, and I think each of their movies will have diminishing returns, and if the quality remains poor the word of mouth will kill them in the long run. Especially because the next 3 movies after B v S are Suicide Squad and Wonderwoman, and aquaman I believe, all of which are much harder sells.

    Then you have their dumb: the Arrow & Flash shows which are already hugely popular are not going to be part of the cinematic universe. they’ll have a new arrow and flash which will further alienate the TV fans.

  • sepiajack

    Yes I should have mentioned the Nolan movies, and I completely agree, people always use them as the example of being dark, but they have tons of humor, heart and fun.

    MoS was utterly joyless.

    Netflix Daredevil teeters incredibly close to being joyless but is saved by the Karen & Foggy humor and heart. Which is not to say that Daredevil is anywhere as bad as MoS, but for me at least it got close to being just too dour and dark as to be worth my time. And I say that as a huge fan of Daredevil in general.

  • Original cast to reprise the roles? So, are they going to dig up the bodies of Moe Howard, Shemp Howard and Larry Fine?

  • sepiajack

    The AGE of Ultron was more like the week of Ultron.

    Shark week…. I got nothing…

  • Like Icare

    People like simple explanations.

    Nolan movies were great because they were dark. GOT IT! Copy that until money starts making money all on its own.

    Which is utterly and blindly ignoring the fact that ALL, not just Batman ones, ALL NOLAN MOVIES deal with themes of human mind and complex issues regarding human psychology.
    But that’s a bit more hard to explain than “dark and gritty” I guess.

  • AvenJaws 2 – Moar AvenJawsing

    now there’s a show right there

  • sepiajack

    I would love to see PROPHET adapted. If they follow the tone/style of the original Rob Liefeld comic, and the recent artsy fartsy continuation that just started, the movie versions would be:

    Prophet 1: directed by Zack Snyder
    Prophet 2: directed by Terence Malick

    But seriously everyone should check out the new Prophet, it’s amazing.

  • Mark Bisone

    I got the chance to watch it on a big, outdoor screen a few summers back. The audience was huge, about split evenly between what I assume were new-to-the-film kids and nostalgic adults. The kids were paying attention and were absolutely spellbound by what was happening, cheering at all the right parts, laughing at most of the funny parts, crying at the sad part. It was fascinating for me to watch, because I suddenly realized that they really don’t make pictures like that anymore. Those kids had never seen anything like it, as the art of all-ages storytelling has sort of been lost, swallowed up by the PG-13 Goliath.

  • AvenJaws 2 – Moar AvenJawsing

    indeed

  • Call me crazy, but I’ll take any of the two Burton Batmans over Nolan’s. I felt like it had no identity of its own. Nolan made Batman generic and hyper-militaristic. It has none of the style you’d expect from Batman. Even the suit is plain boring.

  • sepiajack

    Yes. the most recurring problem in hollywood is this cycle:
    1) new fresh innovative movie comes out
    2) audiences love it
    3) execs try to copy its success by copying the most superficial elements of said fresh innovative movie, utterly failing to appreciate that what made it a hit was that it WAS fresh and innovative, so the actual thing to do is make more DIFFERENT movies
    4) dozens of lackluster knockoffs come out, with ever diminishing returns
    5) new fresh innovative movie comes out completely different from the previous swarm of movies,
    6) cycle repeats….

  • Mark Bisone

    You know, my wife is a huge comic book fan, and particularly of Daredevil (that’s the one comic she “collects”). So naturally she’s watched the series, and I caught the first a couple of episodes of it. For a superhero-thing, I thought it was actually pretty good. Specifically, the pacing of the pilot episode was fantastic. Pilots of all kinds usually suffer by trying to do too much exposition, but it mostly avoided that trap. I might even watch more of it at some point.

  • sepiajack

    Yes, so many people fail to realize there’s a difference between ‘a kids film’ and ‘a film for all ages’.

    the heyday of Pixar was good this way.

    But yeah, there’s something that’s been lost in that type of fun, earnest movie. Back to the future is a really good example even if it does focus on a guy trying not to sleep with his mom, and a casual rape scene…

  • Mark Bisone

    I really liked Burton’s Batman movie, too. I haven’t seen it in ages, but it walked that fine line between “darkness” and camp very well.

  • sepiajack

    That is fair. I don;t think those burton movies hold up very well mainly because the stories and especially the characters are so thin. visually they are pretty great, the elfman scores are legendary. some interesting casting.

    I’ve always prefered a very down to basics Batman, I always wanted him separate from the rest of DC, I prefer they exclude mr freeze, poison ivy and the more sci fi type elements, so I’m the ideal audience for the Nolan ones. But I think Batman will always be around because the material is so flexible in tone.

    The Adam West Batman, the Nolan one, the Burton one, the cartoon, even to an extend the schumacher one are all in their own ways valid interpretations of the character. yet it’s almost impossible to comprehend that Nolan batman and West batman are the same character/story

  • sepiajack

    It is really good, and gets better as it goes. I found the editing sloppy in the first 2-3 episodes which made some of the performances seem clumsier than they actually are. But it tightened up as it went.

    I don’t mean to pick on Daredevil. It’s a really solid show, I’m just saying like many things that are good or great it walks a fine line. I think with just a nudge Daredevil would be borderline unwatchably bleak, but it has some essential humanity at its core so it ends up working really well.

  • Mark Bisone

    If they keep remaking and rebooting this shit (which, of course they will) kind of wish someone would do an Adam West-type Batman, just to cleanse the palate. Complete with Zap! Zing! Pow!, punch card computer, big red phones and the rest. If only Vincent Price were still alive, he could reprise his role as Egghead, the greatest Batman villain of all!

    http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/17300000/Vincent-Price-as-Egghead-batman-the-original-series-17392289-600-759.jpg

  • AvenJaws 2 – Moar AvenJawsing

    its as easy as 1, 2, 3

  • Like Icare

    They still get to charge everyone for watching those movies for the next century or so.
    Even if they are not actively watching them.
    The cost of showing people those movies will weasel its way into people’s wallets somehow.

    Movies never bomb. They just get written off as a loss.
    And thus make money through tax write-offs.

  • sepiajack

    I actually believe the smartest thing DC/Warner could have done was to go the opposite route they did and instead of going darker than Nolan, to do exactly as you said. Make their movies PG rated high quality family films: colourful, cartoony, funny, wholesome. quick 90min films, not insulting to adults but aimed at ages: 7-12

    they could be making a killing doing that.

  • Like Icare

    In my realm it was translated as “The Reign of Ultorn”.
    Which is even dumber. He never rules anything. Or makes himself a king. Or gets elected.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    So I heard

  • sepiajack

    Yes, but I think if enough of them fail to perform as hoped it would discourage a multi movie saga.

    The big thing working against these movies is they cost a gazillion dollars to make. B v S needs to not just be a hit, but a mega hit based on its huge budget, multi year production schedule, and it’s goal of launching an ongoing franchise.

  • Mark Bisone

    That’s the key thing. Any kind of story can work, as long as its about people. That doesn’t mean turning every superhero into a depressed emo grouch or grandiose psychopath. That might just be Hollywood reflecting itself in its products. I don’t think people generally want that, it’s just that if bread is all that’s on the menu, you start forgetting what cake tastes like. Donner’s Superman was cake.

  • sepiajack

    Yep. and they have to understand the property. Daredevil and Batman work as dark and gritty, Superman, Spiderman do not.

  • sepiajack

    All they really needed was a line near the end when Ultron is about ready to wipe out all life on earth and he says “and then the age of ultron can begin!” or something like that

    or they could have called it ‘rage of ultron’ which was also a comics storyline

  • Egg-cellent. Well, we got Schumacher Batmans for that. There’s also the Brave and the Bold cartoon.

  • sepiajack

    The only thing this HitB review didn’t touch on was that I was sort of let down by Ultron as a baddie, he didn’t really do much as a villain when he could have been the Khan of avengers in this one.

    I like Spader though, he’s suitably creepy/funny, but I just wanted Ultron to be a bit of a bigger threat throughout

  • Mark Bisone

    I enjoyed Raimi’s first two Spiderman films. They were far from perfect films, but they did feel like they were reaching back into that older form of storytelling. I don’t recall any Silver Streaker moments when I thought, “Why the fuck is *this* in this picture?”

  • You all know well The Force Awakens is going to turn into this… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFu_dxwU-sk

  • sepiajack

    Agreed. I actually think even number 3 is not nearly as bad as people make it out to be. It’s got issues, but fixing 4-5 basic things would make it infinitely better. It still has charm, fun, and is actually about something.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Oh this is way more exciting than the original.

  • sepiajack

    I honestly think that the Force Awakens is going to probably be pretty great, unless the script is just a complete space turkey, in which case it will be Star Trek Into Darkness: a fun great looking exciting movie that is dumb.

    I think after JJ departs and we move on to episodes 8, 9, 10 etc plus all the spinoff movies then all bets are off. But I think at this point newLucasfilm and Disney are shrewd enough to know to avoid the prequels as much as possible. they won’t out and out disown them just to avoid pissing off Lucas (who owns a huge share of Disney’s stock) but they have been actively distancing themselves from those movies since this one was announced.

  • Palpatine

    But if Mike and Jay say it sucks, then we have to go along with their opinion. Or else.

  • sepiajack

    Oooooh myyyyyy gaaaawwwwwwd

  • Mark Bisone

    Yeah, exactly. The problem is that the PG-13 market is, to their eyes, by far the biggest moneymaker, and has been for quite a while now. But there’s a bit of an illusion at work there. For instance:

    ww.boxofficemojo.com/alltime/world/

    Almost every movie in the top twenty is PG-13. However, when adjusted for inflation, we get a very different picture.

    http://www.boxofficemojo.com/alltime/adjusted.htm

    I think there still *is* a big PG market out there that isn’t being captured, and DC had the perfect opportunity to own that ground, rather than trying to pitch themselves as “Dark Marvel”. More marketing opportunities, too: kids buy lots of toys and video games.

  • Like Icare

    They only cost that much cause they are trying to fit them into a formula which they have.
    Which basically boils down to MoneyIn x ??? = MoneyIn x 10 x ???
    More money spent means more money earned.

    They could literally do ALL of them all at once, Lord of the Rings style.
    They have the stories, the actors, the money, the fans…

    They don’t want to as the goal is to keep spending the money while you’re making the money.
    That way they keep the ball rolling, their expenses column full and their invested money untaxable.

    And nothing will discourage yet another reboot.
    Punisher had 2 reboots. Hulk… 3?

    Spiderman AND Man of Steel were made because of a court ruling – like the Roger Corman Fantastic 4.

    Movies don’t look like working? Put it on TV for a while. Rinse and repeat.

  • Like Icare

    Only thing that will survive will be metal.

    http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Metal

  • AvenJaws 2 – Moar AvenJawsing

    i like return of the jedi unlike plinkett (mike) but he has a point about han not having much to do, but, he doesnt need much to do, though, we got jabba and ian mcdiarmid as the emporor to make up for that, sure the ewoks, but hell they arent that bad

  • My ex wife

    I mean I’ve thought about this quite a bit and the tricky part is you almost can’t take any of those pieces outta there now. Cause each one takes you to the next place.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I thought that was just a joke specific for the Plinkett character.There’s an interview with Mike floating around in youtube around from 2011 I believe where he says he’s got no problems whatsoever with the OT.

  • sepiajack

    Well the advantage Warner has with DC is they own them outright like Disney owns marvel. it gets into different territory with Fox and Xmen because they have to make a new movie in a specific period of time in order to retain the rights.

    I agree with everything you’re saying, but I just think overall as a fad this will not continue much longer.

    Look at how much scifi/space shows were on TV in the 1990s and early 2000s: star trek TNG, DS9, voyager, enterprise, Babylon 5, andromeda, Stargate SG 1, Atlantis, universe, battlestar galactica, firefly, Lexx, etc etc

    But now there’s none, except for Doctor Who, which is still a bit of a different formula.

    The height of Star Trek popularity was the day All Good Things aired. That show was at maximum popularity, DS9 was in its 2nd season, Voyager was coming on soon, Generations was coming out soon. That was peak. and then it was a slow decline after that until it completely petered out.

    I think with Marvel their moment was last summer with the one two punch of Winter Soldier & Guardians of the Galaxy. Both wildly different, both acclaimed, both hugely successful at the boxoffice beyond all expectations. They announced their next slate of movies after that. I agree with what Mike & Jay said. Age of Ultron is not a failure creatively or financially, but I can see the end in sight now.

    When we get to the 2020s audiences will be ready to move on to something else.

  • Palpatine

    The Ewok’s serve their purpose in the film. Unlike the Goonga’s, who are just there for comic relief.

  • AvenJaws 2 – Moar AvenJawsing

    good to know, i did think that must be the case

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Superman’s spit would work like a bucket of lube I presume.

  • My ex wife

    The 1000-generation Rich*

  • AvenJaws 2 – Moar AvenJawsing

    the effects in the original release of jedi are great, the space battles are the best yet, and the emperor.. owns it, and jabba is one iconic character.. that is of course til the ”special edition” came along and with that fucking band at jabbas joint.. now that DOES suck.. get the original release though, and its better than we remember, i think

  • sepiajack

    I attended a secret screening a few years ago of a rogue print of RotJ the non-special edition that Lucasfilm hadn’t managed to destroy and I made the observation just before it started that RotJ takes on a new context if you accept that Han Solo suffered serious brain damage while frozen in carbonite and is nearly retarded.

    I didn’t realize other people were listening to me when I told this to the friends I was with, but the result was every time Han speaks the audience erupted into laughter.

    “Did you tell Luke!!!??? Dis dat hoo u kud tell????”

  • Mark Bisone

    There’s a third possibility: superhero films become a permanent market feature, but transform into more of a niche market like hard sci-fi films or slasher movies than studio tentpoles, and with the bigger part of its profits coming from TV projects. We’re reaching a saturation point in the commercial special effects used to make these type of films. There really isn’t much creative territory left to conquer (polygons, particle physics, motion-cap, etc), so the next big driver of innovation will probably be price – i.e. making the same quality of effects, but faster and cheaper. As that happens, you might see less superheroes blockbusters in favor of a more “living comic book” saga approach – ongoing episodic adventures rather than standalone narratives.

  • sepiajack

    Yeah I worked for years in various movie theaters and the thing about kids movies: 1) kids see the same movie over and over again, 2) kids never go to the movies alone, they always have at least 1 adult with them, often 2, and usually a gaggle of other children with them. 3) kids always want concession counter foods, 4) kids buy the tie toys, shirts, videogames etc, 5) kids movies are short, so more showings per day, 6) kids love 3D, 7) refresh rate on kids is quick, so you can keep marketing the same stuff to new kids every 3-5 years

  • Like Icare

    I doubt it.

    For one… Comics have been coming out forever.
    No reason why they can’t do the same with movies nowadays. Just reboot from time to time to flush out the old cast with a cheaper new one.

    Also, Disney has been selling the same princess movie forever.
    They just change up the art a bit, pretend that it is a new story, and everyone buys into that shit.
    Or take a look at Star Wars which will have the original audience watching it with their grandchildren this time around.

    And then there’s that thing where Disvel Marney reported having movies slated up to 2028.

    The reason why they don’t do Trek TV anymore is cause it costs money.
    And why spend a million per episode on sets and makeup and effects and then wait for decades to get the money back – when you can spend 200 million per movie and make the profit right now?

    Meanwhile, superhero TV shows all take place in cities and towns and living rooms and…
    Plus they already have all those stories written.
    Maybe clean them up a little – and the fans will go insane for it cause they will consider it a reference to something or other.

    Trek also needs at least SOME decent actors to carry it – not dirt cheap barely out of their teens acting school graduates.

    And the stories need to be written. Decently.

    And not like Game of Thrones where nothing happens – and then characters get murdered cause George has written himself in a corner.
    What is it with Georges anyway?

  • Like Icare

    Rich is his American covert name.

    Back in Vaterland he is known by his true name – Reich Ewans.

  • Mark Bisone

    The question is whether Kasdan still has any writing chops left or has, like so many filmmakers of his era, completely lost his damned mind (which, some would look at “Dreamcatcher” and say “that happened long ago”). If he goes all mid-life crisis and tries to copy today’s script kiddies, with all their fake-complex mystery plots about revenge, it will be a great big belly flop.

  • AvenJaws 2 – Moar AvenJawsing

    the title sucks, that’s a bad start… if i was the teacher i’d give him an F for that alone, but we will see about the script in time..

  • Mark Bisone

    For all we know, he’s just a figurehead/prop with no script control, only there so they can say, “Look! We got the writer of Empire. How could it possibly suck?” If J.J. has script control, it could turn into logically and emotionally incoherent mess.

  • Palpatine
  • superJaws vs sharkman

    could be a case of too many chefs…

  • Bubs

    In all fairness, as a Stephen King constant reader, Dreamcatcher is a near-perfect adaptation. It’s the story itself which is batshit. Blame King for that one, not Kasdan.

  • superJaws vs sharkman

    the bathroom attendant at the manhole said to say hi, he was wondering why you havent returned his ph calls, i told him you were busy working out your new dance routine for star wars kinect 2, i think he bought it, but i cant put him off forever. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvafvTnji-Y

  • Mark Bisone

    That’s strange, because a complaint I’ve often heard about that film is that Kasdan completely changed the ending. Never read the novel, and I’m pretty neutral on the movie version myself. I’ve actually watched it quite a number of times, because it’s one of those films Mrs. Bisone can never pass up when its on TV. She always has to watch it all the way through, for some reason. I’ve learned to enjoy some of its batshittiness, although that might be a case of Stockholm syndrome.

  • Palpatine

    The days leading up to Disney’s purchase of Lucasfilm were dark ones.

  • Mark Bisone

    Yeah. With all their weird plans for sequels, prequels and the like, this project might wind up with more notes than Mahler’s Symphony No. 3.

  • Earth

    I look forward to the shitstorm after the Superman vs Batman review when Mike and Jay say it sucked.

  • Palpatine

    I can’t see any reason why anyone would defend that movie. It looks like an absolutely miserable experience.

  • Earth

    Yeah, a new show would be great. I think that’s the hope amongst a lot of people after the third (and hopefully final) movie.

  • Disney apologist!

  • Earth

    Have you read the comments under the trailer and on other sites? People are going crazy for this movie.

  • superJaws vs sharkman

    well we do have gay uncle ziro who is pretty much Liberace, i wonder, was he the inspiration for the title, the force awakens

  • superJaws vs sharkman

    right on brother

  • Bubs

    He did change the ending a little bit, but not in such a way that it really mattered. Anyone claiming the contrary is one of those “Didn’t stay true to the source material” idiots. King can’t write an ending to save his life. IMO, both the book and movie endings sucked.

  • Palpatine

    Why?! Look, I’m all for dark and brooding superhero movies. I loved the Dark Knight Trilogy. But this movie is taking the dark and brooding stuff way too far.

  • Earth

    Think about it. They got bitched at for not liking Man of Stale. This has got OMG MUH BATMAN!!!! in it. That’s all the mouthbreathers need.

  • superJaws vs sharkman

    and then some

  • Palpatine

    What do you mean by that?

  • Earth

    Beats me why people like this shit. I guess there are a large group of idiots who do just want to see Batman and Superman fight on the big screen.

    Imagination is for losers, yo!

  • Palpatine

    Aren’t Batman and Superman friends?

  • superJaws vs sharkman

    ..and then further than way too far its gone stupid far where its unrecognizable

  • sepiajack

    Yeah because people love mindless fighting. It’s like people who claim to be xmen or star trek fans yet are also horrible bigots. All they want to see is Wolverine slice people with their claws or the enterprise blow shit up. even though that’s a total contradiction to what xmen or star trek are about.

  • Earth

    They will be…….after they fight in this movie.

    I don’t understand how that works either but that’s what’s happening.

  • sepiajack

    friendship is lame

  • Earth

    This movie was all that and a bag a’ potato chips.

  • superJaws vs sharkman

    man of steel sucked, one of the very few movies i can safely say i hated and this new one looks like it could actually be… worse, here it comes folks the worst movie of all time.. ALL TIME.. batman v superman.. fuck that movie

  • Mark Bisone

    Most of King’s novellas and short stories had solid endings. I think that’s where his primary talents as a writer lie. His novels often start to become bloated “it’s a story about *everything*, man” kind of deals.

    One exception might be his novella “The Mist”, which I liked quite a bit but thought the ending fell short. They changed it for the film version, and I thought the change was great. It moved it beyond being just another creature-feature and turned it into a story *about* something.

  • sepiajack

    The things you mention still have an ebb and flow in popularity. Im not suggesting comicbook movies will dissappear forever but they will have a glut just like anything else.

    Disney princess movies vanished for quite a while, they’ve had golden eras and down periods. as does any genre. Gladiator movies were gone a long time until the ridley scott movie started a new craze. sword and sorcery were deader than doornails for a long time, but have made a big come back after harry potter and lord of the rings.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    There will be a shitstorm regardless of the quality of the movie or their opinion, it’s just build that way.

  • sepiajack

    they will never disappear complete. and they will eventually come back in a big way 5, 10, 20 years down the road, but no genre or trend in movies lasts forever. there are always ups and downs

  • Bubs

    I dunno, he writes sooooo many stories, I feel like he hits a 50/50 ratio of good to bad endings. In pertaining to the Mist, I absolutely hated the movie ending. It’s maybe the worst ending a major motion picture has ever had, whereas I thought the rest of the movie was just great. I think I preferred it as a creature-feature. The “twist” where everything just magically resolves itself, but all his friends are dead, was such a “fuck you” to the audience.

  • Mark Bisone

    I had a different impression of it all together. I guess my tastes are more akin to Jay’s in that way, particularly when it comes to the horror genre. What was great about it was that the picture’s hero, who’d thus far kept himself and his son alive through the power of hope (as opposed to Carmody’s fatalism), finally lost that hope, mere moments before salvation arrived. That ending (and the hero’s choices in it) was *true* horror, as opposed to the loud-noise, jump-scare B.S. that infests most “horror” films these days.

  • Palpatine

    It seems to me that King’s non-horror adaptions of his books seem to resonate more with people.

  • Mark Bisone

    Usually King’s horror adaptations are bad when he gets his grubby fingers on them. Like, compare Kubrick’s “The Shining” to King’s own, mostly bland and terrible “true-to-the-book” version he wrote for TV. Writers how do their own adaptations rarely produce a good flick.

  • Palpatine

    Exactly.

  • Mark Bisone

    The one weird counterexample (although maybe not so weird, as it was an original screenplay by King rather than an adaptation) was “Storm of the Century.” I thought that one worked pretty well. But again, not the same thing. It did show me he could work in other mediums, but he needs to start and finish there.

  • Palpatine

    From what I understand, the only adaptation of King’s work which had no involvement from him that he actually liked was Stand by Me.

  • Jaws

    all i know is, pet sematary ruled. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6m0Rc1KW0I

  • The Ghost

    It was loud, it was messy, but I was certainly engaged throughout. The first action scene was jarring and clunky, but once Tony and Bruce went to work on Ultron, it hit its stride. They did the best job possible given all they had to include. And the fact that we have an Avengers film that features a scene where part of a city is being propelled into the sky and another scene where Nick Fury is making breakfast is pretty great.

  • Jason Ross

    I want to have sex with Jay’s hair.

  • JackgarPrime

    Thorhood: It took 2000 years to make!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    #JAYSEX

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I am on record as hating King’s writing but liking many of the movie adaptations.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    That one scene with Superman apprehending the suction-cup burglar had more joy in it than all of Man of Steel.

  • Uncle Sporkums

    Agreed!

  • Uncle Sporkums

    “OMG! It’s Luke’s Voice!”
    “Yes! OHHH, I want more!”

    The human race is doomed. Well said with “Mouthbreathers”.

  • Uncle Sporkums

    Same here, but, It takes “dark and brooding” and adds all that stupid ultra violent CGI Michael Bay-like shit from Man of Sheet.

  • Uncle Sporkums

    Right. They’re so purist to their own stories that they fail to realize a novel and a movie need to have their stories told in different ways. Sometimes, things need to be changed for a different format.

  • Uncle Sporkums

    He also reportedly said that what he saw of the unfinished 1987 adaptation of “Apt Pupil” was pretty good.

  • James Earl Jones

    Jay’s reaction to the shitstorm is gonna be somewhat like this:

    http://i.imgur.com/2LD9gUY.gif

  • Uncle Sporkums

    Thanks! I was thinking of that same situation. “But..But it has the writer of Empire.” Yes, but has he still “got it?”

  • Franklin McBatty

    I agree, his hair was magnificent in this episode.

  • Like Icare

    Not an ebb in popularity.
    Attempts to copy others’ fads, do the hip new thing, expand – followed by a return to the classics.
    Because they are classics. Because they work. Because they sell.

    FADS ebb and flow.
    Like Pirates. Or OMG! 3D toys cartoons.
    None of which produce the merch that they can sell specifically to girls.

    Or so they think. That’s the philosophy. Can’t sell certain stuff to gurlz.

    As for gladiator movies… I have a feeling that you are confusing something. What gladiator movies?
    Same with sword and sorcery. What sword and sorcery movies?

    Where do you see anything like the superhero, princess or Star Wars trends in those two?

    You are seeing something else and labeling it wrong.
    HP and LOTR are NOT a sword and sorcery trend.
    Something like Conan would be. And that one crashed and burned promptly. Same for Beowulf. Or John Carter. A successful Elric of Melnibone serial would be one.

    HP and LOTR are exploitation of PREEXISTING AUDIENCE OF THE POPULAR MATERIAL.
    They are closer to Hunger Games and Twilight.
    And superheroes. And Transformers. And all these reboots and restarts.

    They are not selling a genre or story – they are BUYING into audience.

    And now they are discovering that there is world beyond US borders.
    That they can sell paper and plastic and bytes to people and kids all around the globe.

    What I actually think will happen is that we will more and more oftern see periodic attempts to revive old IP and genres, like with Lone Ranger and Green Hornet.
    Cause it is becoming obvious that at a certain point there is an audience for ANYTHING.
    You just need enough people on the planet and a way to reach them all.

    Pall Blarp Mall Blarp reached HIS audience. Surely a Golden Girls revival will too.

  • Earth

    Oh yeah, I’m gonna enjoy watching them point out what stupid assholes so many comic book fans are when it comes to movies.

  • Earth
  • Earth

    I feel so sorry for parents who will see billboards for Batman vs Superman and think, aw great, my kids’ll really enjoy that. Then they arrive and see it’s “PG-13” (is that what you call it?) and see the queue of man-children and they’re like…..oh……….

    (kinda reminds me of when Mike talked about feeling sorry for the old man in the theater when watching Man of Stale. I was genuinely saddened by that. This is what we’ve come to? Fun, happy exciting characters becoming miserable violent killers).

  • RLMkeepitup

    your hair looks like you already did

  • Joe

    My Gizmo lost his boooooooody…
    That’s not Gizmo, that’s the other Gremlin from “Gremlins 2: The New Batch”
    My Lenny lost his boooooooody…

  • tOmy`

    Yes. This.

  • RLMkeepitup

    looks like Genisys will go the way of Crystal Skull and stick with a PG13 rating: http://comicbook.com/2015/05/07/terminator-genisys-reportedly-has-a-pg-13-rating/

  • Marti

    yup, they are fighting for that exact reason…because of the color of their outfits. You nailed it, bravo. The fight has nothing to do with superman being viewed as an alien who is only on the plant to destroy everyone…

  • tOmy`

    Sold.

  • Earth

    Oh cool. We’ve found one ladies and gentleman!

    See you later in the Batman vs Superman review comments. I’m sure there’ll be “lots” to talk about…

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    I think “__ is a fetish for someone somewhere” is an official tautology by now.

  • Percy Gryce

    That was weird, wasn’t it? I thought it was a poor-man’s attempt to do something like the opening-credits sequence of Black Sails.

    But your theory that it was promotional tie-in ad makes more sense.

  • Earth

    “Mike, what’re we gonna doooooo?”

  • Marti

    of course, I am only watching the movie because of my love of endless fighting, I mean batman fighting superman? Yup,no other reason. Its okay though Earth, you keep shitting on people for enjoying certain types of movies.

  • Trask

    “certain types of movies.”

    Horrible, nightmarish destruction porn?

  • MrDan_1122

    Seeing it today. Hopefully it doesn’t disappoint. Heard both good and bad.

    On the topic of Batman v Superman though… where the hell did that come from? The movie has little to nothing to do with it, but yes, let’s all shit on DC again because:
    *waves hands around*
    BANDWAGON! LET’S JOIN ON THE MINDLESS AND UNREASONABLE HATERAIN! No need for valid points or an actual argument to back up all the bashing! Let’s all just kick the shit out of it and beat a dead horse. Meanwhile, everyone bow down to your Marvel saviors, with masterpieces such as Iron Man 2 and 3, Thor: The Dark World, and The Incredible Hulk under it’s belt!

    MCU Fanboi Logic:
    “Anyways, yeah, fuck MOS for being dark and gritty.

    Brb, gotta watch Daredevil, sooo dark and gritty I love it. Amazing, so different from what the MCU has done.”

  • Marti

    Yup, because people like man of steel just for that reason…

  • Charles Tosti

    Michael Bay like shit? Lol *couch Age of Ultron *cough

  • Charles Tosti

    Destruction porn? Why am I suddenly reminded of a Marvel movie I saw last week? Lol

  • Marti

    oh no,someone likes something that you do not like. Oh the humanity!!!

  • MrDan_1122

    Where the fuck did destruction porn come in from?

    That’s what it looks like when a superpowered being practically has an all out brawl with another superpowered being.

    And don’t even get me fucking started on the hypocrisy here. You don’t call the destruction of Stark Mansion in Iron Man 3, destruction porn?

    Or what about that time Hulk crashed a fucking Chitauri Transformers rip off into a crowded street? Or the whole battle in NYC against the Chitauri?!

    How about that one time Capt. America crashed a goddamn helicarrier into SHIELD headquarters?

    What about that other time when the Dark Aster took a nosedive into the planet of Xandar?

  • Did you know it’s a law to bitch on DC on everything Marvel related? I didn’t.

  • Charles Tosti

    Lol they keep bringing up destruction porn and forget about Age of Ultron. I mean seriously???

  • MrDan_1122

    Riiiiightt…

    That’s why Marvel is SO imaginative with their endless cycles of generic 360 shots of the Avengers fighting the CGI monsters from hell.

    And fuck DC for bringing up thought provoking discussion on whether or not Superman would be accepted into modern society, and the whole debate that would come with his reveal on whether he’s here for good or not.

    Yeah, DC has no imagination, let’s all just give Marvel every fucking golden trophy in the world.

    Bigot.

  • Charles Tosti

    Yea why weren’t we informed? Lol

  • Uncle Sporkums

    I actually have no intention of seeing either movie, so stop assuming.

  • TheRealDill

    I feel so embarrassed

  • Marvel troll

    Look, I’m all for fun and happy superhero movies. I loved Iron Man 1. But Age of Ultron is taking the fun and happy stuff way too far by making Ultron, one of the most badass and evil characters in the Marvel Universe crack a badly timed, stupid, juvenile and mood breaking joke every 2 minutes.

  • Marvel troll

    Same here, but, It takes “fun and happy” and adds all that stupid ultra violent CGI Michael Bay-like shit from Assengers.

  • Palpatine

    Exactly. As long as the movie fits the tone of the comic it’s based on, I’ll have no problem with it.

  • MrDan_1122

    LOL, DC has no imagination. Look at their stupid Michael Bay explosions and shit, Marvel is so much more thought provoking!

    Brb, gotta watch that awesome 360 shot of the Avengers fighting a bunch of CGI robots. So imaginative. And Marvel is so thoughtful of the environment! They’re recycling the same shot from the first Avengers movie, so they won’t have to waste resources on creating a new, original, one!

    Once again, Marvel is SO imaginative.

  • Marvel troll

    Avengers sucked, one of the very few movies i can safely say i hated and this new one looks like it is actually… worse, here it comes folks Marvel’s inevitable downfall from its extremely low pedestal… the worst clusterfuck of a CBM of all time… ALL TIME… age of ultron… fuck that movie

  • TheRealDill

    I really wish that the Avengers were forced to destroy the city before it was completely evacuated.

    The Hawkeye/Quicksilver dynamic was one of my favorite things 🙂

  • Marvel troll

    Beats me why people like this shit. I guess there are a large group of idiots who do just want to see the Avengers fighting terrible CGI armies on the big screen.

    Imagination is for losers, yo!

  • TheRealDill

    Yeah, man. Remember that first AoU trailer? Phew

  • Mr_Wint

    Can you, see into the future, Mr. P?

  • Marvel troll

    Civil War is literally them meeting and saying, you wear metal, I wear a blue condom helmet, let’s fight!!!!!

  • Marti

    you have only seen a teaser of the trailer….

  • Marvel troll

    remember when superman saved a young girls cat from a tree? now… he saves the entire Earth from being terraformed into oblivion and saves 7 billion human lives in the process, including every fucking kitten up every fucking tree at the same time.

  • tOmy`

    LOL Marvel > DC. LOL. Avengers ruleeeeeezzzz, ya naabz.

    Hulk would like totally smash Batman and Superman into pieces. LOL. So obvious, you guyz.

  • Palpatine

    That’s true. Who knows? This movie might not be that bad. We’ll just have to 2016, I guess.

  • Charles Tosti

    Blows my mind dude. Can I borrow that time travel machine he’s using? So not fair -__-

  • tOmy`

    LOL!!!

  • Marti

    what exactly have you seen of it, that tells you its going to be so shit?

  • tOmy`

    The trailer.

  • MrDan_1122

    In case you lack actual thought and basic critical thinking, (which I’m sure you do, considering you can’t even come up with the most obvious and logical conclusion on why they would fight) it’s because Superman is currently a figure of controversy as stated by the badass himself, Neil DeGrasse Tyson. Batman, always being the reliable cynic he is, decides to check this guy out, as to him, “Woah. He’s like a god. This is some shady shit. Imagine the chaos that could occur if he went rogue”, so they basically have a misunderstanding over that, and BAM!

    A fight that probably will be more “imaginative” than a group of candy colored protagonists going through waves and hoards of half rendered CGI.

  • Uncle Sporkums

    There you idiots go, assuming I’m into Avengers. Just because I dare to criticize BvS. You fanboys need to chill, it’s always one way or another with you twirps.

  • Domo_Returns

    Out.

  • Marvel troll

    I feel so sorry for comic book fans who will see billboards for Age of Ultron and Civil War and think aw great, I think my dream is finally coming true, we’re getting movies made about our favorite stories… they’re doing it justice. Then they arrive and see it is “G” and see the queue of crying toddlers and they’re like… oh….

    (kinda reminds me of when Bob talked about feeling sorry for the lifelong comic book fan n the theater watching Assengers: Ass of Ughtron. I was genuinely saddened by that. This is what we’ve come to? Reducing complex, layered and intricate characters into childish, joke cracking asswipes?

  • Marti

    I have seen several teaser trailers of movies that look good but end end up being shit…. Also, what was so bad about the teaser?

  • Uncle Sporkums

    Troll housecleaning time.

  • Charles Tosti

    “You didn’t see that coming” – Quicksilver RIP

  • MrDan_1122

    Can you give an actual explanation as to how the trailer sucked?

    Please elaborate, if you have more than half a brain. (Which I’m afraid might not be the case)

  • Marvel troll

    There you idiots go, assuming I’m into BvS. Just because I dare to criticize your Marvel overlords. You Marveltards need to chill, it’s always one way or another with you fuckwits.

  • tOmy`

    All the comedy scenes.

  • Uncle Sporkums

    What Marvel overlords, dope? I’m NOT into Marvel.

  • Marvel troll

    I can’t see any reason why anyone would defend Assengers: Ass of Ughtropes. It looks like an absolute Michael Bay clone of an experience.

  • Marti

    lmao, what movie are we on about here?

  • tOmy`

    Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice.

  • Palpatine

    But ‘splosions and lowed noises are kool!

  • Marti

    lmao, the troll is strong in this one.

  • Marvel troll

    Thanks for the confirmation.

  • Palpatine

    There was nothing particularly bad about the trailer, it just makes the film look like it’s gonna an overly dark and gritty film. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, there just needs to be a limit to how dark you can go.

  • MrDan_1122

    I love how everyone here says MoS was joyless because it didn’t feature an in-your-face joke every five minutes and didn’t have Superman cracking a quip when he was fighting Zod and people were dying.

  • Marvel troll

    Think about it. They got bitched at for not liking Ass of Ughtron. This has got OMG MUH RDJ!!!! in it. That’s all the mouthbreathers need.

  • MrDan_1122

    Give examples of how it was “overly dark and gritty”.

    Really, I’d love to hear this.

  • TheRealDill

    “Do you bleed?… You will.” It’s an intimidation. This “man” knows what Superman is capable of and what he can withstand. This “man” also has a ton of resources at his disposal. This “man” is opposed to Superman. If Clark has any sense, Batman isn’t someone to take lightly. Not that I think Batman is going to own the fight, I actually think Supes will overcome everything thrown at him. Batman is a threat to Superman regardless, his two lines there should be quite imposing

  • tOmy`

    That is perciselly why I am glad Superman vs. Batman went for the comedy vibe. However, most of the jokes went rather flat in the trailer.

  • Palpatine

    I’ve seen parts of Man of Steel, and honestly, it wasn’t that bad.

  • Billy_Whizz

    Er…Iron Man 3 IS a masterpiece. 😉

    Well it’s a damn fine action movie at least

  • MrDan_1122

    Ohhhh…. I get it, you’re a troll.

    Not a very funny one, but good effort.

    http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/325/934/060.png

  • Marti

    sure, but I think its fair to say that they have to address the final fight scene in Mos. So in that regards, I can see why the trailer was dark. Also, I am sure it will not be that dark,except for the batman scenes of course.

  • MrDan_1122

    Meh.

    The action was nice….? But why in a movie called IRON MAN, is Tony not in a suit for at least half of the action sequences?

  • Marti

    Soon people will complain Suicide Squad is too dark.

  • Marvel troll

    There was nothing particularly bad about the AoU trailer, it just makes the film look like it’s actually going to be a mature and serious film.

    Then it turns out it’s another childish fuckfest that the MCU churns out for Marveltards to jerk off to.

  • sizzle

    Brb just gonna watch age of one liners now. I love how even the villains are reduced to a comedic mess!

  • tOmy`

    Ohhhh…. I get it, you’re a troll.

    Not a very funny one, but good effort.

  • Mark Bisone
  • Marvel troll

    Iron Man 3 is Marvel’s Batman and Robin.

  • Billy_Whizz

    Because it was in the wash.

  • MrDan_1122

    Ikr man!

    Just love how Ultron made those ultra-FUNNY jokes. Makes him such a deeper and much more developed villain. Who needs REAL ACTUAL menacing and developed antagonists? Just make them say one-liners! So original, making the villain crack jokes to appear scarier. TOTALLY hasn’t been done before.

  • Marvel troll

    That is perciselly why I am glad Ass of Ughtron went for the comedy vibe. However, most of the jokes went rather flat in the movie.

  • Palpatine

    I really can’t give any. I for one hope that film is good, and won’t be all that miserable to watch. I’m just looking forward to seeing Batman and Superman in a live-action film together for the first time. That alone will make the film worth seeing.

  • Billy_Whizz

    How did you guys manage to get out of IMDB?

  • TheRealDill

    I loved when Hawkeye was contemplating shooting Quicksilver.

  • Marvel troll

    > claims it looks overly dark and gritty
    > can’t give examples to support the claim

  • MrDan_1122

    Wait wait wait.

    You JUST said, that the movie looks overly dark and gritty, but you can’t give any examples of it being overly dark and gritty?

    Smells like bullshit children, be careful to not step in it!

  • Marti

    going to be really funny when someone expects a movie about villains going on suicide missions to joke about getting some food in the middle of the fight.

  • ALRIGHT, KIDS! MAKE WAY. What’s the problem here?

  • tOmy`

    I posted a picture of door to this page and I guess Domo forget to close it, when she was trying to get out.

    #DeepReferences

  • Marti

    AoU QS>X-Men QS

  • Alright, kids. What’s the problem here?

  • I actually disagree :

  • Mark Bisone

    thwords.

  • sizzle

    Don’t bother. He doesn’t have enough brain cells to comprehend what you’re saying.

  • Franklin McBatty

    I would have liked it, if there was more kneeling before Zod, myself.

  • Mitsos9779

    Even the Vision was reduced to a comedic mess!

  • sizzle

    Ohhhh…. I get it, you’re a troll.

    Not a very funny one, but good effort.

  • sizzle

    All mcu films are marvels batman and robin.

  • Palpatine

    If people do complain about the movie being too dark, I’ll lose hope in humanity. After all, it’s called Suicide Squad, I’m not expecting them to be like the Legion of Doom from the 60’s Superfriend’s cartoon.

  • Marti

    that’s okay,lol

  • tOmy`

    Now Garden State, on the other hand…

  • Marti

    nooooooooo

  • Palpatine

    Lord Vader, is that you?

  • Black Adam

    You wud like to kneel before Zod??
    Sorry my inglish veri bad…

  • MrDan_1122

    Ahhh yes. When some one comes over and completely dismantles your pointless hate tirade, randomly accuse them of having no life as you have no valid points to back up your crappy “argument”.

    And yes, these small comments that take nothing short of under 2 minutes to type means I have no life.

    When it’s 2:43 and I’m about to see the Avengers: AoU with friends and family, and before this, it was a mostly slow Saturday, and I’m only 14 with a laptop.

    GREAT LOJICK!

  • sizzle

    My favourite part of the movie was when ultron wasn’t intimidating at all. I completely loved it!

  • Marti

    maybe:)

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Back to 9/11.

  • tOmy`

    Have you seen Justified?

  • Marti

    read the comments above, you will understand.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    When’s the next Plinkett??

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    I prefer “boring” before “joyless” and “ass” instead of “in your face”

  • Black Adam

    I’v seen parts of your comments here, and honestly, I feel sad… for you.

  • Joe

    Oh my god, Mike made a video game reference.

    Sweet Jesus, I don’t know what is reality any more.

  • This comment thread is a bunch of ignorant bastards who hate comic books

  • Mark Bisone
  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Finally someone got it

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Stop, I’m rock hard

  • tOmy`

    I think the general problem here is that you come in here to do exactly the same thing as we are doing: tear apart one comic movie just because you like the other one.

    The joke is that despite you may see us as some Marvel Overlords (which is a label I am gonna have to chase down with 5 vodkas, just to revive my faith in mankind) is that most of the previous comments regarding AoU were rather negative, neutral or not very hyped.

    So I am sorry I am taking a piss, but when one people start bashing others for things they immediately do themselves, I cannot help myself and just slow clap you out of the door.

  • Who the hell said “thought-provoking?”
    I think the word they used more was “fun.”

  • tOmy`

    I am not very fond of books in general.

  • Cool shit

  • Marti

    I am fine with someone disliking something but I hate when people who hate on someone for enjoying something. Like, what gives you the right?

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    The worst part about Marvel si that they’re not DC. And don’t get me started on DC.

  • Black Adam

    Green Lantern movie is better than any MCU movie ever made.

  • Marti

    go on

  • Of course. I encourage those to express opinion but in ignorant or annoying ways it seems like their assholes. Eh maybe I got the wrong impression about these people or maybe I’m right

  • tOmy`

    Long live Dark Horse Comics!

    (I had to google it.)

  • Mitsos9779

    Just saw Age of Ultron. It felt like a 2.5 hour deja vu of the first movie. Btw, is there any character development in these movies AT ALL? What was it, the 11th movie? And they still have Iron Man doing something bad and then try to fix things? Originality at its best, people!

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    I love you, can we have babies?

  • t0my’s not the one who liked his own comment…

  • We won’t so don’t bother

  • Mitsos9779

    And will ever make

  • YOU LIKE ONE DIRECTION!? OMG YOU SUCK!

  • Mark Bisone

    Were they his naughty parts? Did he sue?

    If so, he doesn’t have a superleg to stand on. I heard the dude doesn’t even wear undies anymore.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    The amount of non-reaction in that comment is astounding.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Tuesday.

  • Charles Tosti

    I think we all had a fun time with the AoU but the fact that their was jokes every 5 seconds is what made the film a good film and not a great film. When even the villain, who is supposed to be menacing, is cracking jokes and one liners, it seriously cuts the film down in terms of quality. The jokes cut strait through the tension which is counter productive

  • MCU in a nutshell but Daredevil is different in a good way

  • Billy_Whizz

    I love Boom Comics, me. Anyone else love the Boom?

    …………………..

    Just me then…

  • That’s nice

  • Palpatine

    Yes. This.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Do you like chunky tomato sauce?

  • Toucan

    I know I did thanks for noticing.

  • Mitsos9779

    Ok maybe I am overreacting. At least the first one didn’t feel like a 2.5 hour trailer for the next MCU movie.

  • K.

  • Black Adam

    Tape, worm, Lady or a bicycle?

  • sizzle

    Thanks for noticing. You have eyes.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Shhh, just shave your head and dance with me.

  • Charles Tosti

    Agreed. Daredevil is boss. It is kind of weird that the best thing the MCU has is a TV show. Granted it is a damn great TV show. I hope all the Netflix shows are like this

  • And I love how they pause the movie to remind us that we shouldn’t take this movie seriously every 5 minutes

  • tOmy`

    This may be your most disturbing comment yet. Gratz.

    *secret Czech handshake*

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Communism tastes a bit like orange, but bluer.

  • Black Adam

    To Hell, why not…

  • sizzle

    Ohhhh ouch that burn must hurt. Omg lelelel well you r so awesome omg, dude, like wow bro so epic dude. How do you not have,like 89 girlfriends bro le lelelel omg loll wow such bae omg lmfao

  • tOmy`

    LOL Capitalism > Communism.

  • Marti

    sure you understand this, but there are certain users on this site who actually get upset about people enjoying a certain type of movie. Like, its my opinion.

  • He joined Batman in wearing it on the inside

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Oh yeah? Bullshit, communism has way better characters and plotlines.

  • Black Adam is bald

  • Domo_Returns

    He meant his scalp.

  • tOmy`

    True. And at least it has it’s own color. Capitalism is just these 99 shades of poor and one shade of green.

    BADUMTS.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Thankfully, I am already masturbating to your comment.

  • Mitsos9779

    I have nothing against movie that are “fun”. But what I think is not “fun” at all is having every single movie in your shared universe have the exact same plot, the never-ending jokes and no Creative freedom. That is not fun. That is just making movies to earn money!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    There’s something called balance. Why does it have to be either “jokes every 5 seconds” or “no jokes at all”. It reminds me of that big four-letter word Plinkett mentioned once: FUCK. No, I’m just kidding. The word is CRAP. No, I’m just kidding. The word is SHIT. I’m just kidding. The word is PISS. I’m just kidding. The word is POOP. I’m just kidding. The word is GARBAGE. Naw, I’m just kidding, the word is TONE!

  • So you came here too? Comfort to know this thread is nuts

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Nonono, no agreeing!

  • Black Adam

    Red Batman ripoff…

  • You know… there’s a whole WORLD of middle ground between constant quipping and constant despair.
    Marvel movies and DC movies suck for different yet equally-valid reasons.
    Are we going to drag this out any longer or is this comments section going to be the same cesspool that ‘Man of Steel’s’ was?

  • No

  • Black Adam

    Off course not. Trolling. 🙂

  • tOmy`

    Damn, man. I studied economy. It’s rather hard to defend capitalism. Can we swap?

  • Sorry my troll radar is off (thank Marvel Troll)

  • Marti

    Sorry for enjoying comic book movies guys, sorry for not being perfect.

  • K.

  • Certain user is “tapewormbicycle”

  • Marti

    no, not him.

  • Why does there need to be a joke in the movie?

  • Domo_Returns

    Looks like 5 guys from Batman News are taking over the comments. You guys have fun.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    I do

  • It’s your call because you don’t have to comment back

  • tOmy`

    Oh, sure, of course we need to talk about Batman News. Where are the Superman News, huh? Or the Black Wido- oh, shit, no! Not those news.

  • Black Adam

    That’s some Marvell-troll version here. Only with no class…
    It offers babies on first comment you make…

  • That’s a guy?

  • Charles Tosti

    Lol is it weird that it feels like we’re on a field trip right now? I feel like we’re all an army of ninjas bro xD

  • Cool. Your comments aren’t golden either.

  • sizzle

    Because the creator is a batman fan….

  • Haha We are The League of Shadows

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Those New52 fans are out in strength today.

  • Marti

    I started this shit,lmao

  • Marti

    or just fans of comics you know…

  • Sure

  • Hank_Henshaw

    In a Superman movie? I don’t see why not. Even dark Elseworlds Superman stories (Red Son, Kingdom Come, Speeding Bullets, etc) have moments of levity in them.

  • Charles Tosti

    Yup because my profile pic is totally of a DC character 😉 (all sarcasm intended)

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    I love every single Marvel and by extension Disney related thing there is. Carnally

  • Charles Tosti

    Where the Hell is the RealDill with his chezzy ass commets and memes??? We need him and his Ben Stiller memes!

  • Billy_Whizz

    Me too!

    That of course means that I hate everything else with a burning passion.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Ninja bros forever.

  • I’d rather not really get into the Marvel vs. DC thing, but I think that, if this movie got too “jokey,” it was probably because of Joss Whedon.
    I’m not really a huge fan of Joss Whedon.
    I liked Dr. Horrible because it was short and sweet and I liked ‘Firefly,’ too.
    I can NOT get into ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer.’ I know that throngs of people say that it gets better after the first season, but I got a few episodes into season 2 and I was just not digging it. The constant quips at any given time didn’t just lighten the tension– the tension was outright DESTROYED.
    It was all too “cute” and the fact that these regular teenagers could stumble upon corpses and then let loose a zinger about it made them feel more like psychopaths than actual human beings.
    It’s kind of like every single character in a Joss Whedon story has the same sense of humor as Joss Whedon. It grates on my nerves after a while. I don’t HATE the guy’s work, but I never really found it all that immersive.

  • It’s like in a Greek tragedy – the character has an inherent flaw and is haunted by fate.

  • Black Adam

    What do you mean?

  • Raspyberry

    Finally! You’re really on a roll here.

  • Charles Tosti

    I’m gonna have to call you Ms. Frizzle from now on! (I hope you get that reference)

  • The Ghost

    I’ve seen these arguments so many times that the words “Dark” and “Gritty” are now the equivalent of “Uh” and “Um.”

  • Who?

  • sizzle

    You wouldn’t know.

  • Marti

    oh for sure, daredevil has always been a great DC character. Love the comic where he and superman team up.

  • Palpatine

    I also don’t take sides with the whole Marvel vs, DC thing. Both franchises have good and bad things about them, both have good and bad movies, and both will have their many fans.

  • Mark Bisone

    Even after all these years I’ve wasted here, this Marvel-DC phenomenon still surprises me. I imagine there’s something like a big red phone that rings across basement-dom every time one of these superhero flicks get reviewed, and Commissioner Gordon tells 12,000 virgins to race to the scene of the latest thought-crime.

    Is there a something like a news-aggregate website for aggrieved, fat comic book nerds? Also, does it make money? How do I get a slice of that cheddar?

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    The best thing about people without a sense of humour is the fact that they provide you with a punchline. Have a lovely night, sweeties.

  • Because the world just found out we are not alone and this aliens can kill everybody. They can all kill us. Now they are terraforming and thousands are dead. It would be really dumb if Perry or Steve made wisecracks when the world was attacked. And this movie had a lot from different comic books. No need to shove pointless jokes on the movie. Hating a serious movie for not having jokes is a horrible reason to hate a film

  • Marti

    wait because we like comic books we are all fat and nerds?

  • Charles Tosti

    Lol I remember that too xD

  • By default.

  • Palpatine

    At least we can all agree on something related to RLM. The Star Wars Prequels all sucked.

  • Toucan

    Everything that has competition has divided fans, that’s the way it is. In sports you always see rival fans hate on opposition.

  • Marti

    makes perfect sense,lmao

  • Toucan

    In general or compared to the originals?

  • Marti

    there are elements in those movies i enjoyed,tbh.

  • Palpatine

    Like me?

  • Mark Bisone

    Yeah, exactly. There are always exceptions. It’s like the Black Swan theory.

  • tOmy`

    Is that how you spread evil and hatred? By taking a compromise?

    (I, obviously, agree.)

  • GET OUT OF MY WEBZONE, YOU HACK.

  • Marti

    palpatine, some of the battles, general grievous.

  • Who are you people, anyway? Where am I? Where is my brain medicine?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    John Williams music, Palpy, Ewan McDonald, and some decent shots in the movies. We all know them.

  • Charles Tosti

    Actually now a days girls find nerds sexy. Embrace your inner nerd!!!

  • No love for Leslie Nielsen?

  • Toucan

    You wouldn’t know.

  • Marti

    lol, I like comics but I also enjoy a ton of shit.

  • Palpatine

    What about Darth Maul?

  • Mark Bisone

    No. I imagine one could like comic books and be a trim, successful adult. But racing around the internet to fight a comic branding war? I can smell the glucose and failure.

  • Marti

    yeah

  • Marti

    him too

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I agree with Palpy. Taking sides in an argument like this is just rather silly.

  • Pancreas failure, that is.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    You should be happy to see the hate flow through people, shouldn’t you?

  • Marti

    cool story bro, I am so sorry for being a failure in my life just because I enjoy a certain genre.

  • tOmy`

    Darth Maul is honestly the only good thing about Episode 1 for me. That and I kinda like how Theed looks like, despite it being a very not-thought-out city.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    For me no. I have never been a Darth Maul fan. All he does is show up and he does things.

  • Such a great toy for five-year-olds. Your PR department had a brilliant idea coming up with him.

  • Palpatine

    He gets a better arc in The Clone Wars show.

  • Earth

    Woah, we haven’t even had a Batman vs Superman Review and the mouthbreathers have already arrived.

  • Wait, isn’t TCW set after Phantom Menace? Didn’t he… like die?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I have seen people compare Age of Ultron to Amazing Spider-Man 2: Fuck You. If you see anyone do that make that comparison slap them in the face with a belt.

  • Charles Tosti

    We’re all school girls here on a field trip! What a lovely comment section you have here good sir’!

  • Earth

    Or do what I do, and hate all of it 🙂
    (you win so many new friends from the comic book community)

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Both are shit just for diffent reasons tho.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes, I admit that and I would like it more if we got more of who he was in The Phantom Menace. Also even in the Star Wars universe how do you survive being cut in half?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *slaps your face with a belt*

  • tOmy`

    Yea, I have to agree. But he does look cool. I mean, when you are given that much piece of garbage, you tend to rationalize it and say: “Well, at least that stupid evil guy looks fantastic.”

  • Marti
  • We don’t take kindly to niceness ’round here.

  • tOmy`

    Midichlorians. Do you even count them, bro?

  • Mark Bisone

    It’s not a certain “genre.” You are invested in a “brand” of a certain genre. And running around being generally dumb and annoying. For free.

    My advice is, call up these DisneyMarvel and/or DC fucks, and get yourself on the payroll. An unpaid shill is an unhappy shill.

  • He’s the Boba Fett of the new trilogy… sort of. Let’s ignore the fact that there’s Jango.

  • Mark Bisone

    Thanks!

  • Marti

    I am not a marvel or dc shill,if I was, my response would be far,far worse.

  • Charles Tosti

    LMAO! Mouthbreathers? xD

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I wouldn’t say so. There was something interesting about Boba Fett in the original trilogy with his past with Han not to mention that scarred armor look to him. He was interesting and a mystery. Maul did nothing in the entire movie.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    the only correct choice.

  • Mark Bisone

    Do you mean worse in terms of grammar and style? Or just less interesting in general?

  • Marti

    Yes, I found the grammar Nazi.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Speaking of comic book movies you have to love Sony’s failure to create a Spider Man cinematic universe. I know I should’t be laughing at them but I am so hard.

  • Marti

    Lmao, you seem like such a nice individual .

  • Charles Tosti

    I’m soowwwyyy 🙂

  • Mark Bisone

    Well, to be fair, I AM a Nazi.

  • Boba Fett had about 10 minutes of screen time. If that’s not an indicator of a throw away character that kind of looks cool but there’s nothing to them, I don’t know what is.

  • Earth

    The funny thing is I’m actually a DC fan. I’m still allowed to make fun of their shitty movies. I know why they’re gonna fight but that doesn’t mean I care. They’ll fight, rather than just talk like rational people, then after they’re done fighting they’ll form the Justice League. Because I already know they’re gonna team up in the end, the fight might as well only be because one is in black and the other blue.
    Go waste your time on a site where people care kid.

  • Marti

    no shit sherlock.

  • Uncle Sporkums

    Tell me about it. If you point out the major story flaws and idiotic explosion porn. you’re a “Marvel Fanboy”.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    He was a walking prop.You’re confusing your imagation with what’s actually on the screen.

  • Uncle Sporkums

    Agreed.

  • Toucan

    You okay dude? You seem pretty mad.

  • Earth

    Whatever man. I don’t care about the Marvel universe. Why is it just assumed that because I hate on DC I must be a Marvelite.
    Go waste your time trolling elsewhere.

  • I lost my nose in ‘Nam.
    How dare you insult my mouth-breathing?

  • Earth

    Well look at that. You brought all your friends along so we can talk right here, rather than on the Superman vs Batman review.

  • We’ve seriously got a “U MAD BRO?” comment on RLM?
    Fuck this.

  • Marti

    . TASM2 was such a shit storm.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I wouldn’t say he was until Return of The Jedi. George could’ve made him be a fully flesh out character then they kill him. He is better than Darth Maul though.

  • We also got an LMAO. This is bad. ABORT. ABORT.

  • My 108 page rebuttal says otherwise.

  • Earth

    Aw I’m sorry Flaw.
    Apologies for #mouthbreathershaming

  • I’ll allow it. This opinion that is.

  • Marti

    crammed so much in it and hoped to start their new universe.

  • Uncle Sporkums

    #Fatassnerdwithcongestionprobelmshaming

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No it wasn’t. It was that scene in 2009 Star Trek movie when Vulcan is sucked into a fucking black hole. You have this nice but not perfect word but by pissing off people it caused it to be sucked into it’s own destruction.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It was a shitty movie by the way. I hated it a lot

  • Earth

    Why would I be mad? People are upset because their favourite fictional characters in tights are being made fun of, and thus THEY MUST DEFEND THEM! GO KEYBOARD WARRIORS GO!!

  • Marti

    I enjoyed the Philip Philips song in the movie more than the movie itself. That is saying something.

  • sizzle

    incould ask you the same thing about why you’re so obsessed with bringing BvS up.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I enjoyed looking at the Sony products even more than the actual fucking movie.

  • Mark Bisone

    This too shall pass. They are like the world’s laziest locusts in an Ed Wood bible epic.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    If you’re above the age of 16 and you still use xD unironically you should consider suicide.

  • Earth

    Because it was mentioned in the video and it’s fun to make fun of.

  • Marti

    what exactly was Electro’s plan in the movie?

  • Toucan

    Mmmkay seems legit.

  • Marti

    okay….

  • REVENGE

  • Uncle Sporkums

    Because..Revenge.

  • Palpatine

    Turn everyone in the city into disfigured freaks like him.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh he hated Spider-Man because he forget his name, decided to kill Spider-Man and that failed. Then Ozzy Osborn broke him out of prison and said “I’m a bitch too, wanna kill Spider-Man?” so he agreed. Then the movie proceeding to have a more annoying third act than Man of Steel.

  • Here, I’ll even lend you a gun. http://boards.420chan.org/mtv/src/1429829775425.gif

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That was James Spader in the first movie. I can’t remember his name because like Agents of SHIELD every character in there sucks.

  • Toucan

    If you have an old grandma as your profile pic you might also want to end yourself.

  • Marti

    was it, I honestly have no idea. The worst scene though in that movie was the one where harry was turning GG. left several people with seizures

  • Hank_Henshaw

    That’s the problem. You can make the villains as evil and as big of a threat as you want, have them murder innocent humans. I’m fine with it.

    Jokes isn’t really the problem, the real problem is that the Superman from MoS isn’t really like any Superman before him, be it Golden Age, Silver Age, Modern Age, 50s tv show, Reeve movies, DCAU, other cartoons etc. Oh, yeah, feel free to spin this as a positive for being “original”.

    He was raised poorly by the MoS Kents. He showed nothing that would make for him to be the leader of the Justice League. Zero charisma (in part because Cavill’s wooden performance).

    In fact, BvS:DOJ is nothing buy a lame attempt to address all the complaints people had with MoS, but they are selling it like this was the plan all along. Making Superman a controversial figure means making Luthor have a reasonable POV, which is messed up for both characters. Batman should be the controversial figure, Superman is the one other superheroes aspire to be like.

    AND Man of Steel did have a (unfunny) joke! “I think he is kinda hot” right after Superman destroys a surveillance drone. Why was that soldier cracking a joke, to her superior no less, right after Superman had pretty much made a threat to them? According to you that’s a no-no. Your argument is invalid.

  • Uncle Sporkums

    Exactly. I actually thought Green Goblin looked like Beavis.

  • The Ghost

    I’ll pose one question to you fellas in this discussion: These movies are capable of having a variety of tones. Light-hearted, serious, a combination of the two, etc. And I really don’t want to infer too much from one trailer because it’s all conjecture. But given what we see in the Batman v. Superman trailer, do you think casting such an acutely serious tone over the film actually makes it come back around to just being cheesy and lame? Like, from a tonal standpoint, is it actually counterproductive to what they’re trying to accomplish? Would they get the tonal impact they’re looking for if they dialed the coldness back just a bit?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He looked horrible. I remember an article from I think Salon with the headline “Can Dane DeHan’s Green Goblin beat Heath Ledger’s Joker?”

  • Uncle Sporkums

    HAHAHAHA!! He goes from wooden voiced emo boy to Beavis..

  • Toucan

    Not really. How exactly do you dial back seriousness? You want them to crack a one liner in a teaser trailer?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    In all honest I don’t know what the tone of BvS will be. The first Age of Ultron trailer was pretty grim but the movie was a lot lighter than that so I can’t tell anymore.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    All he did was bitch the entire movie.

  • Liking your own comment? That’s low.

  • tOmy`

    Wasn’t Iron Man 3 first teaser pretty sad and epic?

  • Uncle Sporkums

    With lasergas.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yeah so I don’t know any more.

  • Charles Tosti

    LMAO! xD

  • Uncle Sporkums

    I’m in!

  • Charles Tosti

    Nope. Me and Masterclass liked it

  • Marti

    you sound like the kinda guy who hates anything that is somewhat popular at anytime. Maybe I am wrong though

  • I think it’s safe to bet that DC is going for a more serious tone in general, as evidenced by The Man of Stale and Dork Knight.

  • Uncle Sporkums

    And you sound like a fucking nerd with no critical thinking skills.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    He wore a hoodie, had a pale disfigured face. Hmm… maybe he also wanted everyone to pledge loyalty to the Graveyard Smash.

  • Earth

    You’re a disgrace to the trolls of this site good sir 😉

  • Mark Bisone

    It’s too late for that. Mr. Plinkett already put her through the windshield of his caddy!

  • Marti

    never seen those movies, where can I see them?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The guys who made the Lego Movie are writing the Flash movie. Once more I don’t know.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    They even made one international trailer for Guardians of the Galaxy that was all serious with “dramatic” music. Trailers mean nothing.

  • Marti

    At least I am not a prick:)

  • Toucan

    Obsessive much?

  • The Ghost

    No, I don’t mean it needs the same look with a few wise cracks thrown in. In fact, they’d be dreadfully out of place. I’m not 100% sure how to focus the question because I’m no film expert. I guess what I mean is, from the overall look, scripting, etc, are they so intent on making it serious that it fails to be at all serious? Are they verging on unintentionally funny with how overboard they seem to be going?

  • Earth

    Yes. I am clearly a hipster because I don’t like the look of a movie that nobody has even seen yet. That must be it.

  • Toucan

    Too early to tell I guess, though I’ve never watched a serious movie that has made me laugh.

  • Is Flash known for being a wisecracker? I haven’t seen anything Flash-related since that TV series from… I want to say mid-90’s?

  • Marti

    That’s exactly what i was going for. Bravo sir.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The only thing trailers give us is some nice shots. There are some really nice shots in the BvS trailer and in AoU trailer, the Mad Max trailer, the Ant Man trailer. They give us just nice shots.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well ever since the success of the Justice League cartoon in the 2000’s they have made Flash more a wise cracker. Why not make the movie more comical? He fights a giant gorilla, a guy named Captain Boomerang, Mirror Master, Captain Cold, and the Trickster.

  • Alex

    But it makes life so easy…

  • Like Icare

    Not weird at all.

    Completely in the spirit of the movie which introduced 3 new heroes, two versions of disposable robots – good and bad, 2 new villains, Iron Man armor-armor which transforms into a Hulk-prison with so many interchangeable parts, a new Hellcarrier with new Hellboats… OH! And a new Widow-cycle.

    Toys-Toys-Toys…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=HlkZm8Z2lb0#t=16

  • tOmy`

    Yes. This.

  • Seems sound. That might not make for a good tie in with Batman, Man of Steel and the Justice League. But then again, as many people have said before – Batman doesn’t belong tonally to the rest of DC. To me, he’s the only redeemable property from DC. Shots fired!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well Marvel did a similar thing with Daredevil. If you read the Daredevil comics you think “Man this shit can never be in the MCU.” It is now.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Get back in the cellar bitch before I ram another disc of Justified up your rectum.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Hell, you can turn any movie into whatever you want it to be for a trailer. I remember watching BTTF “horror trailer” and also “homoromance trailer”.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Trailers give us nothing in terms of tone any more. Photos do nothing as well. Posters are the only thing I think convey tone any more.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Pfff, shut your mouth, granny. Laughable.

  • Earth

    Sigh. This is why I don’t care for comic book fandom. You get angry over nothing. I’m a DC fan (or was anyway). I’ve never cared about the Marvel universe. But obviously because I don’t care for the new DC films I am a Marvel fan (or a hipster (or both?) I understand what DC are trying to do and like that they’re at least trying to be more interesting than the Marvel movies, but that still doesn’t mean I care.
    If it’s any consolation. I like your Jason Todd thumbail. It’s cool.

  • Like Icare

    I like comics but I also enjoy a ton of shit.
    Them are brave words.

  • There’s nothing about that sentence I don’t love.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Depends on which Flash. Barry Allen isn’t known for being funny, but I think they made him funny in the tv show. Wally West was the wisecracking one.

    Then again, Hal Jordan wasn’t a comedian in the comics, Kyle Rayner was. Yet, in the Green Lantern movie Hal Jordan tried to be funny.

  • Earth

    Only you and John Williams were good in those movies Palpy.

  • Well, Ryan Reynolds can only try. Why are there so many Flashes anyway? Were those attempts at making the character likeable when it lost its initial popularity?

  • Like Icare

    At last he revealed himself to the Jedi. At last he had his revenge (for something).
    Then he got sliced in two and dropped down a bottomless shaft.

    What is it with Lucas and those bottomless shafts?

  • Earth

    Mirror theory…or line composition…or something….

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Crawl back to Red Light District honey.It’s not yet the time for my weekly visit.

  • #Sexist #GrannyShaming

  • Mark Bisone

    All kidding aside, what is the psychomahlogical situation here? For my entire life I didn’t give a flying fuck if someone hated a book, song or film that I liked. I mean, just in this thread, Bubs told me he thought the ending of “The Mist” was the worst ending to a picture he’d ever seen in his life, whereas I thought it was one of the better horror movie endings I’ve seen in many years, and maybe of all time. Strangely, our disagreement did not fill me with rage, or cause me to litter a website I’ve never visited with “U mad bro?”-type nonmedy.

    What gives? What is the difference, mentally, socially or — heavens forfend —biologically with this crowd? It can’t just be “callow youth.” It can’t be, because we’ve been there and didn’t give a crap. This kind of mania needs it’s own fancy Latin name, and a clinic in Sweden or Switzerland or some other Sw- country.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    lol you just a hater boii XD. Go back to shilling Marvell!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    In the real world, there’s funny people, and depressed people, and well-balanced people, good people, bad people. No one complains that the terrorists from Boko Haram don’t belong tonally with Rich Evans, and yet, they all live in the same planet. Batman interacting with the rest of the JLA can be done.

  • Mark Bisone

    THAT IS NOT AN ANSWER, DSCW! Also, what is playing tonight at The Manhole? I have some recommendations.

  • Uncle Sporkums

    Plenty of electroshock and forced exercise regimines for their fat asses, and NO comic book paraphernalia allowed!

  • We don’t speak about this place here. Jay forbade us to, you manhole.

  • Earth

    We’ll need to come up with some kind of code to signal communications.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Night of The Demons.As for the real answers I got nothing.Comic books movies have become like a religion so tearing one of them down could be seen as a personal insult,existential crisis

  • Mark Bisone

    Huh. Didn’t know that. Sorry, Jay.

  • Like Icare

    Like we don’t know that you lost the nose to sniffing too much candy.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=yUIekCsc3pU#t=68

  • Hank_Henshaw

    The week after March 25th 2016 is going to be a shitstorm.

  • Puts on dr Freud glasses Ya. I say zis is because of the fact some of zem find ze Unheimlich Spidermann besser als ze Amazing one. Also, ze Ubermensch ist not az gut as the Fledermausmann. Was?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    There’ll always be Batman and Robin. Though I’ve seen that lately it has become an ironic classic so people actually defend it. Fucking hipsters.

  • Earth

    People don’t like things that are different I guess.
    Who cares though? Let these kids blow their unfunny wad, and eventually they’ll just go away. The best thing we can do is at least teach them to be funny when trolling or bitching at people on the internet 😉

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Why engage them seriously, is my question.

  • Earth

    The answer to that is, you don’t.

  • Domo_Returns

    http://i.imgur.com/DS0G8rJ.jpg

    Fight fire with fire, gentlemen.

  • So… you say we talk more shit about DC?

  • Domo_Returns

    Or you could go over there and give em Hell. They mostly get 10 comments an article, anyway.

    But I’m off to bed. Have a good night.

  • I think you got moderated.
    EDIT: Weird, the comments back again.

  • Domo_Returns

    Or, people can go over there and cause a ruckus. Their articles mostly get 10 comments a piece anyway.

    Off to bed. Have a good night.

  • Meh, not worth it. That’s low even for us manholes.

  • Mark Bisone

    I’m not! I’m engaging the normies for insights on this phenomenon, as one would typically do in a fire/flood/zombie apocalypse sort of scenario.

  • Mark Bisone

    No. She’s clearly saying we should set them on fire.

  • Domo_Returns

    Nope, that was me. I’m drunk and forgot an edit button.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    I wasn’t blaming you, just posing a question. Care to discuss it with wit and niceness? After you, Mark.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    How did you know what hellhole they came from?

  • Post history.

  • Mark Bisone

    You are the first person to answer a real question I had about these people, you sleuth-y, re-animated Messenger-of-God you.

    So this “RealDill” is the hive-mind for this sort of crap, I gather? If only we were so well organized. Think of all the strangers we could momentarily annoy?

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    The only thing that works with teenagers, being more immature

  • Domo_Returns

    Checked their disqus feeds. Their most frequented sites (On the left of each disqus profile page.) all included Batman News.

    If you’re gonna troll, go private at least.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    ah.I would totally post there is someone else were to join in.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Nah, they deserve their little corner too. Let them be assholes.

  • Mark Bisone

    Thank you for allowing me the floor, Tape. First and foremost, I’d like us all to seriously consider the gravity of this situation.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Hear hear!

    Also, don’t click that at work, near kids or anywhere.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    I have that with my brain and mouth

  • tOmy`

    Cheers!

  • What the fuck? First we get Hulk dick now this? http://i.minus.com/ixOHyzt9L7yHI.gif

  • Billy_Whizz

    Aww, they’re cute. They reminded me of my nephew the other week when he was playing on my XBox on the old Simpsons arcade game. I asked him if he wanted to try the similar X Men game. He told me (rather angrily) that he doesn’t like Marvel, he likes Batman.

    My nephew is 7 years old. I’m guessing these guys must be in the same age range?

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    If Jay has to read these, we have literally no right to bitch about new content taking time.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    at least mentally that’s for sure

  • Marti

    nah, we are all 5 tbh.

  • Marti

    nah

  • tOmy`

    Oh come on, we are quite busy annoying each other as it is.

    WHO IS UP FOR MCHR TRIVIA?!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    just stop giving these autistic children any attention.I gave a quick glance at their batman news site comment section and it was pretty much like this:

    http://i.imgur.com/JvfJvkn.jpg

  • I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist. I just love gifs of Mike being aggressive. Nonetheless, I like how he reports about everything to this RealDill guy. “Now he told me to gtfo”, or “they found us out”. Geez.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    must be the kindergarten monitor

  • Marti

    I am, thanks.

  • Marti

    I know right, what a pleb.

  • Domo_Returns
  • Marti

    like I said, what a pleb.

  • Go home, tOmy’, you’re drunk! You can’t spell MCR right.

  • RLMkeepitup

    this was going to be my response exactly. it’s been happening forever.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    OK, no trolling back, no name calling, no diagnoses of autism, promise me. You are better than that. I am watching you. http://i.imgur.com/3Yu1YmZ.jpg

  • RLMkeepitup

    close up not close enough

  • Like Icare

    It’s basically this:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parasocial_interaction

    Fans form one-sided relationships with their own, idealized, perfect for them, vision of characters, stories, objects… media.
    They bond with them and enjoy in their victories and suffer their defeats.
    Now… for the fun part.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parasocial_interaction#Parasocial_Relationships_and_Sports
    Team Association

    The social identity theory says that people become motivated to behave in ways that boost their self-esteem. Having high self-esteem
    creates the perception that a person is intelligent, likable, and a
    good person. In regards to sports teams, fans create a connection within
    their team to attach themselves to a particular victory or
    championship.

    Player

    In 2012, Evan Frederick (University of Southern Indiana), Choong Hoon Lim, Galen Clavio, and Patrick Walsh (Indiana University) conducted a study on perceived parasocial relationships
    of twitter users and athletes. “Analysis of the data revealed a sense
    of heightened interpersonal closeness based on the interaction style of
    the athlete. Followers of the social athlete were driven by interpersonal constructs” (p. 481).

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parasocial_interaction#Parasocial_Relationships_and_Body_Image

    Furthermore, the researchers found that making social comparisons
    with favorite characters distorted actual, or ideal, body image and
    self-perception. Studies have been done exploring these effects across
    gender.

    A study examined the parasocial relationships between men and
    superheroes; the study looked at muscular vs. non-muscular superheroes
    and men who either did or did not develop a one-sided psychological bond
    with a superhero character. The results from this study indicated a
    significant impact on body image, particularly when exposed to muscular
    superhero characters. The research found that men who formed a
    parasocial relationship with a muscular superhero had poor
    self-perception and felt negatively about their own bodies after
    exposure to the muscular character.

    People form bonds with characters and with other people who also form bonds with those characters and that brings them enjoyment and self-esteem.

    At the same time, those bonds with muscular ubermenschen makes them hate their own body image – so they need even more self-esteem boosting from the echo-chamber of the fandom they’re in.
    It is a very cheap way of boosting one’s ego and self-esteem compared to say… achieving self-esteem boosting goals in real life.

    So… Rinse, repeat.

    At which point you come along and take a dump on that perfect one-way relationship they are having with those characters and in which they’ve invested so much emotional capital.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    fuck off autist

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You can’t do that! This ain’t the manhole!

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    You know that works on me, everytime

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    No such thing exists

  • dollar store cashier wife

    not really.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You cannot deny it!

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    By God, I can try

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I wish you posted this to one of those kids just now.There would probably be multiple strokes.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “all you Snyder haters”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Denial makes you weak, boy!

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    The ugly won’t scale down

  • Like Icare

    Doubt it.
    They’d either probably just ignore it (TLDR) or come up with some other equally insightful capital letter comment.

    Besides… it’s a perfectly normal human… thing. (I’m sleepy. It’s late. Brain freezing.)
    Not very pretty… but you can see that shit at every sportsball event. Politics too. Moopies…

    Any kind of thing where fans don’t have to actually wipe the ass of the object of the affection while it pees in their face.
    Well… there too. But that’s a different kind of a relationship.

  • Ogrot

    You guys are so cute. When I was a little kid I similarly had the most awesome clubhouse where my friends and I can smugly exclude others from up on high and take turns jacking off eachother’s egos. Then sadly I realized I actually wasn’t the center of the universe, that my opinions weren’t the only ones that mattered, and that sex was actually better than masturbation, so I opted for growing up rather than wallowing in a self indulgent positive feedback loop cocoon.

    But I’ll spoil the suspense for you. Most of us here have jobs, lives, significant others, and a great deal of maturity. It is unlikely most of us would bother to visit your silly little clubhouse to rain on your parade for the purpose of trolling. You see, trolling is generally the domain of smug teenagers with too much time on their hands, jobless shut-ins, and drama seeking mentally ill persons of all stripes. And while trolls will always pretend they don’t care about the subject in which they are trolling about they almost always betray their own obsessive interests by the very fact that they obviously care enough to spend several hours rage trolling over it instead of a spending time looking for a job, getting treatment for their mental illness, finishing their homework, and or some other productive activity that would otherwise improve their life.

  • Dude, why? They shut up for about 30 minutes… We had peace and quiet, now they might come back again.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    We should go to sleep Mag. Come on. You know you want it.

  • I guess, especially since I have to go to work tomorrow today.

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    I work from home tommorow, but I gotta put in at least 10 hours, so, sweet dreams, handsome.

  • Nighty night, sweetie. :*

  • TapewormLadyBicycle

    Mwah

  • Wizard Phoenix

    MFW when I see the Batman News People’s comments
    http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/876/318/5cd.gif

  • Marti

    Yeah, exactly. Everything you just said there is the truth. every single user of our site are struggling just to make a living. We just come on here to make us feel better.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    U MAD BRO?

  • You know, I’m ashamed of liking Batman now. I’m ashamed of liking Batman more than Marvel superheroes.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I am too.

  • Ogrot

    Not talking about every single user. They all aren’t here trolling are they? You prolly should stick to inferring from what’s written instead of making hasty generalizations.

  • Earth

    PAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHA PAHAHAHA

  • Marti

    HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

  • dollar store cashier wife

    U MEANIE DOO-DO HEAD! HOW DARE U INSULTT JESUS BATMAN CHRIST HIMSELF?!

  • Marti

    Have you seen the generalizations made by people on this site today? According to several of your users, people who like cbms are autistics,failures,fat etc…

  • Earth

    You kids are great. Thanks for the laugh guys.

  • Marti

    You’re welcome, you guys have provided me with several laughs as well.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    These mother fuckers need Chin Chin

  • dollar store cashier wife

    These motherfuckers need to hit puberty.

  • Earth
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Good point. Their balls probably haven’t dropped and wear minecraft shirts and fedoras

  • Marti

    yes, this is very true.

  • Marti

    the internet is a beautiful thing.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You smell too. Take a fucking shower.

  • Marti

    ill get right on it.

  • TheRealDill

    Well, I’m the most awesome person on the site… Most awesome guy that is. I’d say Marvel troll is the most awesome lady 😉

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Also use correct grammar, you’re giving me Chris Chan flashbacks.

  • Ogrot

    They are my users aren’t they. How they dance like puppets on my strings.

    For someone trying to troll you’re pretty thin skinned and easily baited to boot. Who gives a fuck about what some internet strangers think about you. It ain’t true, right?

    Then again maybe if you didn’t walk in for the transparent purpose of trying to clutter up the comments with trollish comments for the purpose of showing this hellhole who’s the boss, perhaps no one here would’ve alleged or theorized that you are perhaps an unhinged shut-in crybaby and the site you came from is filled with much of the same.

    So on the one hand you come here for the purpose of shitting on others and being a general asshole, and then out of the other side of your mouth you complain that in response people shitted on you and told you you were an asshole.

  • TheRealDill

    We have a lot of fun on Batman-News. We talk about a lot of stuff, and we can be goofy/silly or mature. It’s a great site to visit. I hardly go anywhere else.

  • Marti

    Good

  • dollar store cashier wife

    must be nice being acknowledged by your peers.Even if they are just a bunch of autistic man children.

  • TheRealDill

    We tried to get Marti to stop a while ago. Whoever on here who was visiting our site can verify that

  • Marti

    All I said was that this site makes generalizations as well the people on batman news.com. I never said i was bothered by them.

  • Marti

    ….

  • TheRealDill

    Marti, come home, pal

  • Marti

    Anyways I am sorry for this shit.

  • Mark Bisone

    Hold on to your horses, now. That pretty much describes our relationship with Jay’s beard, too.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    actions speak louder then words little kid

  • TheRealDill

    You should visit our site.

  • Earth

    So in the space of a couple hours I’ve apparently become the number one enemy of a site named after one of the few superheroes I actually like. All because I posted a couple mean things about the new movies.
    Gotta say guys, I feel honoured.

    Edit: To the guys on Batman News or whatever, I’ll say this. I’m more bemused than anything.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I went to Batman News and they want to create a war between us and them…wow that’s fucking low. “We are going to create a bunch a comments made against these people because some of them don’t like what we love!”

    https://youtu.be/SKuE5-pEo2Y

  • Marti

    Obviously

  • TheRealDill

    Are you sure you didn’t misread someone’s comments? Because several of us were afraid that we DID start a war, which was not our intention

  • dollar store cashier wife