Half in the Bag: American Ultra

August 31, 20151,619 Comments

Mike and Jay talk extensively about a movie that’s already come out and flopped and been forgotten, American Ultra.


Filed in: Half in the Bag

  • zaz926

    This is borderline experimental.

  • KonradZell

    Jay’s hair=sploosh

  • Hello there, looks like I’m third. SUCK IT @dollarstorecashierwife:disqus

  • Like Icare

    Oh my!

  • Michael Collins

    First!

  • Percy Gryce

    The first five minutes of this HITB seemed to be a “stoner comedy.”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Joaquin Phoenix and Spike Jonze reviewing movies is always fun to watch.

  • Noah R.

    No.

  • Percy Gryce

    Which one was Susan?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Spike.

  • cough
  • thatdouchewhodontlikeyourplaye

    Nice that there’s a new video.
    Not nice that everytime you hackfrauds upload another video the entire site is offline. Hire a nerd, ffs.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes.

  • Noah R.

    Let’s all take a minute to enjoy the comment section before it becomes a complete clusterfuck…. Ahhhhh, the fresh air!

  • Percy Gryce

    Half in the Bag–I was able to watch this on my phone in the toilet. One might say, all in the can.

  • Noah R.

    Both.

  • thatdouchewhodontlikeyourplaye

    Nope…I just farted.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    As James Rolfe said “Wow want an asshole”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Neither.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    So this movie written by an asshole who is the son of John Landis binged the underrated TV series Chuck and said “I’m gonna make this a movie only with stoners and not nerds. I’m gonna be rich, right?”

    http://www.boxofficemojo.com/movies/?id=americanultra.htm

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That sounds oddly sexual.

  • Percy Gryce

    Birdman, Nightcrawler, and Whiplash–original movies . . . with comic-book titles.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    If Kristen Stewart had a personally that was beyond being on par with sand paper I might find her attractive.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Isn’t Birdman a cartoon?

  • Percy Gryce

    Needs more Rich Evans.

  • Like Icare

    That’s so… CAN-a-dian!

  • zaz926

    Didn’t realize at first this was released only recently. It looks like (though is an original idea) but it looks like the result of a corporate Hollywood game of darts: Chuck meets Bourne meets That 70’s Show. And Tony Hale earned his awards, from Army.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    American Ultra is Chuck with stoners. Max, you horrible fraud, it’s unoriginal as shit.

  • Judge Frownyface

    Half-Assed Bad-Ass, that is perfect

  • Like Icare

    What an asshole?

    An asshole poop. Fart. Occasionally bleed. If that happens an asshole should go see a doctor. Don’t try to just plug an asshole. An asshole need to remain open.

  • You guys are fucking high lol

  • Like Icare

    Hey guys! Do you like Whiplash? They mention Whiplash!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MEA7B3MKcg#t=1230

  • Mark A. Siefert

    I’m trying to figure out what exactly is so “original” about this movie. Badass sleeper agent is being hunted by his own agency? The Bourne Movies. Telefon, the Manchurian Candidate, Total Recall (both versions)…

    Oh, your amnesiac super spy is a STONER. That’s original?

    Get over yourself, Landis, you arrogant hack.

  • Mr Flibble

    1rd!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You have to love how Landis is complaining about lack of originality yet he’s writing this upcoming, possibly terrible Frankenstein movie.

  • Michael Collins

    I meant it was my first comment on this HiTB episode..

    Going to watch the show now..

  • Percy Gryce

    I thought Chuck was an accidental agent, not a pre-programmed sleeper agent.

  • Percy Gryce

    Haven’t seen it yet. I don’t see anything until Rich Evans tells me to.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The premise is very similar. The undercover agent girlfriend thing too. A comedic actor playing the head of the CIA. Landis is becoming Shyamamalahand.

  • Percy Gryce

    I’m too CAN-tank-erous.

  • Percy Gryce

    Got it. Good call. I never saw Chuck. Didn’t the lead go on to The Office?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No the lead went nowhere…oh wait he was in Thor 2.

  • instant relief

    Jay needs a jay needs a Jay needs a jay needs a Jay needs jay.
    ALSO: THE GAY READINGS WERE OFF THE CHARTS THIS TIME!
    #backbone

  • Mr Flibble

    I’m only 3 minutes in and this is already the best HITB ever.

  • Percy Gryce

    And Landis references Thor 2–it’s all becoming clear. I now see where he gets his original ideas.

  • Palpatine

    Max Landis seems like a bigger hack than his father.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Like Icare

    Well… They got their preemptive retaliation in first and went with a tactical precision strike on this situation.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MEA7B3MKcg#t=1530

    Against what seems to be a peashooter.
    We’re awaiting forensics to determine if it was a peashooter or a SlurpeeTM straw.

  • Like Icare

    Than you should not play CAN-ast-A with a temper like that.

  • Ogrot

    Jesse Eisenberg is who you hire when Micheal Cera says no.

  • Palpatine

    So did Michael Cera say no to Lex Luthor?

  • Like Icare

    Better food, vaccines, safer environment…

    It’s kinda like the way that Southern Koreans have on average become about a head taller than the North Koreans.
    Same way with hacks.

  • Percy Gryce

    Uh, Animal House, The Blues Brothers, American Werdwolf in London.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yeah but what else after that?

  • Like Icare

    Animal House makes me feel all patriotic.
    Some hackfraud copied the theme for our national anthem.
    I only wish I’d known that while I was serving in the army.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    South Korea did give us Karen O.

  • Palpatine

    He also made Blues Brothers 2000. ‘Nuff said.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Michael Cera said no to a David Fincher film?

  • destro9

    Given how much stuff Jesse Eisenberg is in these days, Michael Cera must be saying no a lot lately.

  • Ogrot

    Originally it was conceived that Micheal Cera would be Lex Luthor and his main henchmen would be played by Buster Bluth. However, Micheal Cera said he’d only do it if they could cast his cousin as his love interest, but DC panicked about losing the general audience with an incest scandal overshadowing the film.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Where is the We Are Your Friends review? It made 1.8 million dollars on it’s opening weekend!

  • Like Icare

    Thing is… she seem to actually have a personality, only she likes to keep things to herself.
    http://www.nylon.com/articles/kristen-stewart-september-2015-cover

    As for attractive… I don’t know…

    I get this “kid trying to look like an adult so long she doesn’t yet realize she is adult” vibe which is kinda off-putting to me.
    Maybe when she hits 30 she’ll Kristenlize (get it?) a bit more.

    But at least she doesn’t seem to be dumb.

  • Like Icare

    There you gO again…

  • Ogrot

    A warwilf?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Don’t you mean O you?

  • Like Icare

    nO.

  • Palpatine

    I feel bad for the people involved with that movie.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Domo

    I imagine Mike and Jay just finished all the major stuff around Space Cop, got royally wasted to celebrate, and on a lark, Mike went “You wanna film another HiTB?”

    It makes perfect sense in my head because Rich Evans wasn’t even invited to the celebration.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Even Wes Bentley and Zac Efron?

  • Judge Frownyface

    Bring Me the Head of Vic Morrow?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *Mike and Susan

  • Palpatine

    Eh, not them.

  • Like Icare

    Don’t don’t.

    It cost $6 million to make. They’ll make their money back. And probably make a profit.

  • Charon

    I almost saw American Ultra last week. I’m really, really happy I went to the bar instead.

  • Palpatine

    Susan should be on the cover of Vanity Fair.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Typical box office drop is above 50% so maybe not.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What about DJ’s who went to see the movie? Wait no one saw the movie.

  • Like Icare

    And then Yoda tells Obi Wan that he should talk to Qui-Gon’s ghost! WHAT THE FUCK!?

  • Domo

    Isn’t Half-Assed Bad-Ass another term for Hancock? Or Space Cop?

    Quick! There’s still time to change your film’s title! You can CGI out all the Space stuff!

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Finally! Lightening Fast VCR Repair merch…annnnndddd it’s sold out.

  • Like Icare

    Their long tail doesn’t need to be very long.

    It ain’t Fan4tastic. It’s a cheap little flick. In a big world.

    I could bet that in the days to come (hopefully a lot of them, nearing infinity) a lot of wannabe DJs will go “Hey! Have you seen that DJ movie?”
    Those people are not very bright. I know some of them.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I don’t think that a movie about a DJ and his douche bag friends trying to be Boogie Nights with Zac Efron is going to have legs. Especially if it is the fourth worst box office opening ever.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Half Assed Bad Ass sounds like a movie we would make.

  • Like Icare

    Just use it as a subtitle.

    Germans will hang one on anyway. And probably make it into “Etwas-Etwas zum verlieben”.
    They just love adding that shit to a movie title.

  • Domo

    And I just smeared feces all over the wall.

    Why can’t this shit just go in the toilet like American Ultra did?!

  • Palpatine

    Nice Ass and Bad Ass was one of the working titles for Jurassic World.

  • Devil_Dinosaur

    No.

  • Domo

    That’s the nicest pick up line Bryce Dallas Howard has ever heard.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Omitted is no longer with us though.

  • Like Icare

    It doesn’t have to.
    People watching it by accident should suffice.
    Again… Aiming for a really low target. Needs only ~4.2 more to be home free.

    It will probably get more legs overseas.
    Most of those 7 billion humans don’t give a fuck about the openings and such.
    Just put it in the theaters. Someone will watch it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What about DVD sales? I’m certain it will make it’s money back that way.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Max Landis is becoming our new favorite fraud!

    https://twitter.com/Uptomyknees/status/638493083043262464

  • Like Icare

    Are you blind?

    “Blindness” (the movie) taught me that in the world where everyone is blind, blind smear feces all over the walls.
    That, and they get the urge to rape.

  • Good to see a review of a non franchise movie. Looks like you hacks had more fun reviewing this piece of mediocrity than watching it.

  • Palpatine

    Oh I can tell this going to be fun!

  • Like Icare

    Maybe… It’s a long tail and a low target…

    Food for thought…

    How much above those $6 million does it need to warrant a sequel?
    Hey… Paul Blarp 2 happened…

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Is there an equivalent to Batman-News for Max Landis fans? Because if so, expect them to pay a visit around these parts.

  • SeeJay the WeeJay

    To be fair, he wrote the original script but has outright said that the final film is a studio film that will most likely not reflect his original script to a T.

  • Palpatine

    It be funnier if Max Landis himself came on here.

  • SeeJay the WeeJay

    You’ve done nothing but comment in this section over and over for the past few hours

    So much autism

  • Hank_Henshaw

    It’s been explained many times before that someone at WB said “Get that Heisenberg guy for Luthor” and the casting director misheard Eisenberg.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well thank you for telling me you’re an asshole and insulting me on my day off from work.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    K-Stew can’t act, and I used to think she wasn’t even that great looking. Yeah I’ll eat my words on that one.

    http://moejackson.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/kristen-stewart-081815-4.jpg

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Translated: He’s a horrible fraud that blames people for his shitty script.

  • Ogrot

    Imagine if Bryan Cranston were cast as Lex Luthor? Mike might even be a little excited about Batman V. Superman. I might even be.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Max is the Anti-Len?

  • Like Icare

    His every line is like asshat gold.

    “There is no such thing as “on point” criticism of art. Only stuff you agree with and stuff you don’t.”

    “(a)redlettermedia remember, these guys are completely outside of the film industry. Their opinions are ultimately just that.”

    This one is pure hilarity:
    “(a)redlettermedia Just as long as they keep making good stuff off other people’s stuff. They’re best at analysis, not opinion.

    Writer don kno wha word “critique” mean.

    Also, regarding “they liked Hobbits”:
    “I mighta been thinking of Jurassic World.”

    This guy should write more comedies.
    By trying to write drama. It will come out hilarious.

  • Confirmed for Max Landis?

  • Which one is “2gay2lift” (pleasesayjaypleasesayjaypleasesayjay)?

  • Domo

    I could never see Max Landis saying “This shit helps me” like Len Kabasinski did.

    He’ll never get to punch the RLM team in the face as a result.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Thankfully, like Peter Venkman so wisely said “everything happens for a reason”. If Cranston had been cast as Luthor, he would’ve been wasted in a Zack Snyder movie opposite a Henry Cavill Superman. Besides, he probably would’ve been “directed” to do his Walter White thing. So, it’s ok. A lazy-ass Luthor/Zuckerberg for a lazy-ass DC movie universe.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “outside of the film industry” This dumb mother fucker clearly is unfamiliar with stuff outside of their reviews.

  • Domo

    She’s the perfect model. A blank canvas with a blank expression so you can focus on the goods she’s selling.

    Her Chanel Sunglasses campaign is wonderful, but it’s because you almost don’t recognize there’s a celebrity on the page as you’re sailing past the ad in a magazine.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Len has a sense of humor about himself.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Nope. That’s YourMoviesSuck guy, I think. Sorry.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    But she ain’t no Karen O or Bryce Dallas Howard.

  • Ogrot

    That or Cranston would be in it for seven minutes to make room for more cgi bullshit. But yeah I concur that Zach is a shitty actor’s director.

  • Percy Gryce

    Even Homer nods.

  • Like Icare

    You mean if he LANDISED here? With MAXimum impact?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Len knows he makes crap. Max doesn’t know he stole the plot of Chronicle from Akira.

  • Percy Gryce

    Someone set up us the bomb?

  • Ew no!

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Or that Snow White movie where we were supposed to think she was fairer that Charlize Theron, I mean she’s definitely great looking but there is no suspension of disbelief big enough for that one.

  • Like Icare

    He might try. Or he may pay someone to try that.

    Good thing RLM keeps all those powertools and heavy things and GUNS for killing those Worst of the Worst tapes…

  • Hank_Henshaw

    That’s why I don’t understand why people liked Godzilla. It’s not that Godzilla is barely in it, it’s that they killed the most charismatic actor in the movie 15 minutes in, and we spend the rest of the movie with that guy from Kick-ass. What?!

  • Ogrot

    Jesse Eisenberg?

  • Percy Gryce

    I could channel my rage into dancing the CAN-CAN.

    Aw, fuck it, this thread is hereby CAN-celled.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I guess she was cast as Snow White because she was fucking the director. You see that, Max?! THAT’S A JOKE YOU FAT FUCK!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Oh, you haven’t seen Godzilla? Oops! Spoilers!!!

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Chronicle was well reviewed and made money, ruined him forever.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    And she pale as a movafucka.

  • Ogrot

    No I have I was doing like a thing… Cause the kid from kick-ass is a Micheal Cera/Jesse Eisenberg adjacent brooding pussy teenager thing. And the whole conversation was going full circle like some kind of unending irony vortex that is in danger of collapsing in on itself.

    You know… a thing.

  • Domo

    Or Harry Dean Stanton.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s the M. Night Shyamalan syndrome. The mentality of people like him, Landis, Richard Kelly, George Lucas, or Josh Trank goes: I wrote and/or directed this smaller film that was a big hit therefore my work is flawless and it’s everyone else’s fault it failed.

  • Palpatine

    Especially the second one.

  • Strelnikov

    They should have made all the fighting and CIA bullshit a series of dreams, so it would be like the Brazil of stoner convenience-store workers.

  • Like Icare

    I like the breakdown in logic cause he rejects criticism as “no such thing” for “art”, then labels it as “opinion”, then calls his critics as “best at analysis” – which is the literal, dictionary, definition of critique.

    So not only does he come off as an ass and deluded – he also labels himself as illiterate.
    AND he even validates his critics as “best at analysis”.

    It’s like poetry.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Hank_Henshaw

    When Charlize Theron asked the magic mirror who was the fairest one of all, and the mirror showed Kristen Stewart (over Charlize Theron!), she should’ve sent that mirror to the magic repair shop or straight to the dumpster. Kristen Stewart isn’t a dog, and is younger than Theron, sure… but fairest? C’mon!

  • Niccageshair

    Jesse Eisenberg or Miles Teller: Whose face is more punchable?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Poetry and circles seems to Landis is thing because Percy and I discovered a connection to this and the show Chuck, which this film steals from. He mocks Thor 2 which featured Zachary Levi who was the star of the show Chuck. American Ultra, which Landis wrote, stole a bunch of ideas from the show Chuck.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ssnw2GA657s

  • bruce wayne

    I don’t think I’ve ever seen Mike and Jay laughing so hard and dogging on someone so much during a video. Funny as hellll.

  • Niccageshair

    Is he related to John Landis?

  • Like Icare

    Nah… But there was once an accidental discharge of weapon during guard duty.

    And there was that time when one sergeant got fired for deciding to settle a dispute at the local drinking hole by going home and fetching his AK and shooting up the place.

    That was a very quiet and whispery day.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Oh. Ohhhhh—

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He’s his son.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Max Landis has an upcoming comic series “Superman: American Alien”. Can’t wait!

    Now, to be honest, I didn’t hate the somewhat recent Adventures of Superman issue he wrote. Even if it was so transparently meta.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He mocks comic book and superhero movies for making more money than his movie and yet he’s writing a comic book.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ssnw2GA657s

  • Ogrot

    I may have gone too far in a few places.

  • Palpatine

    He seems like a real spoiled brat.

  • Ogrot

    That’s more money than George Lucas saved in his ink fund!

  • Niccageshair

    Then what is he even doing commenting about RLM he has a golden ticket into Hollywood. Just shutup and be pleased you have access people would kill for.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He and Jaden Smith should be friends.

  • Niccageshair

    Both come from overrated parents.

  • Like Icare

    Maybe she was like really honest and there was a homophonic mix-up?

  • Strelnikov

    RLM needs to do a Half-Assed Bad-Ass fake trailer, then wait 15 years and make the movie for real.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Will Smith maybe. He can be a powerful actor when he wants to but doesn’t always does that.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    The comic I read had Superman confronting The Joker for the first time (non-canon, whatever that means anymore for DC). It basically uses The Joker as the mouthpiece of everyone that hates how corny Superman is (not sure if this is Landis POV too), but ultimately shows Superman has a place, and can do things that even Batman can’t do (again, this might be Landis POV).

    I expect the upcoming comic line to be all deconstructionist (is that even a word?) because that’s exactly what Superman needs. More of the same that’s been done to the character in recent years.

  • Strelnikov

    It’s a draw.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *12 years

  • Like Icare

    Does he also have a Batman suit of a different color, that he wears to “protect people” like Jaden does?

  • Palpatine

    John Landis is overrated?

  • Niccageshair

    Will has charisma and that does goes a long way. He seems to have gone crazy lately though.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    So he isn’t the fat one or the bald one?

  • Niccageshair

    I am not a huge fan of his movies except animal house. But then that may only be me.

  • Red Skeleton

    Oh my God! Something that’s NOT part of a franchise! *head explodes* And here I’d nearly given up hope.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It sounds really really bad and pretentious. Grant Morrison basically did this all before in All Star Superman and everything he’s brought up has been brought up in multiple comics before. So Landis is once more a horrible ironically and a hypocritical unoriginal fraud.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    This changes everything.

  • Like Icare
  • Wizard Phoenix

    That new movie Concussion looks good, not great but good. I hope he does something in Suicide Squad because I fear it will be the Jared Leto and Margot Robbie show.

  • Strelnikov

    Plus the production time, because they’re a small group.

  • RLMkeepitup

    lol at the twitter whining montage. Man up, this movie clearly is forgettable.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Like Icare

    He’ll be the black guy that shoots people… so… there’s that.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    There’s like two other black guys with guns too. We need specifics and writing that makes sense. THAT’S A JOKE, MAX!

  • Strelnikov

    But it could have been interesting with a couple of rewrites, ditching the frame, and getting different actors.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    It was done differently than in All-Star Superman. It was more in-your-face, because he only had 22 pages to do so. I will confess I’m not a huge fan of All-Star Superman, mainly because of the art, but also because it gets too silver age-y, for me. I will say that it is a million times better than All-Star Batman and Robin, now that was a hot mess. And by hot mess I mean a steaming turd.

  • RLMkeepitup

    quick, duck! remake incoming !!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What are you goddamn talking about? That goddamn series was written by that goddamn Frank Miller. He wrote that goddamn infamous Batman line and the goddamn Ninja Rap goddamned performed by Vanilla goddamn Ice.

  • Ogrot

    Yeah, that’s basically saying it would’ve been interesting if he wrote a completely different movie. Anything can be interesting.

  • Adzl33t

    Just like animated movies, they skipped a “Black” movie because it didn’t involved George Lucas
    I rather have them talk about Straight Outta Compton

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You racist.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Which seems to be the norm for the Hollyweird’s offspring,

  • Mick Travis

    Half in the Bag, Episode 95: Cooties (a cafeteria food virus turns kids into zombies)
    Half in the Bag, Episode 96: The Walk (crazy mofo walks on a wire between Twin Towers) & The Martian (starring Matt Deymonnn as an astronaut left behind)
    Half in the Bag, Episode 97: Goosebumps (based on the series of books) & Bridge of Spies (starring Tom Hanks)
    Half in the Bag, Episode 98: Rock The Casbah (starring Bill Murray) & Jem and the Holograms (oh, come on…you know you want to see these hack fraud review it)
    Half in the Bag, Episode 99: Spectre & The Peanuts Movie
    Half in the Bag, Episode 100: Star Wars, Episode 7: The Force….(FARTS)

  • Adzl33t

    Im not sure your being satirical, also Straight Outta Compton is one of my fav movies of the year

  • Wizard Phoenix

    #RLMJoke

  • Palpatine

    They’re never going to review an animated movie. Get over it.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Maybe they are fans of East Coast hip hop scene instead.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Hank_Henshaw

    No. No Peanuts. No animated movies in HitB.

  • Palpatine

    I kinda want to see that movie.

  • Mick Travis

    Kristen Stewart wasn’t bad as Julianne Moore’s daughter in STILL ALICE; otherwise, she sucks major donkey dick as an “actress.”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You’re missing another reboot thing called Creed, a Rocky movie but with a black guy.

  • Niccageshair

    This review should have been:
    “Hey Jay, what did you think of American Ultra?”
    “It has Bill Pullman in it.”
    “Ohhhh nooooo”
    “*Outro music*”

  • Like Icare

    Is it a reboot? Or just Rocky… umm… 7?

  • Mick Travis

    Why not?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    You know what’s funny? I was watching a tv ad for Disney XD (Latinamerica version), where they promoted their movie block. Most of it was Pixar movies, Tangled, Wreck-It Ralph, and… the CGI characters from the pod-race scene!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s a uhhhh….yeah what is it. Maybe it’s a….movie?

  • Adzl33t

    Nope still gonna ask for a review

  • RLMkeepitup

    black movies matter

  • Mick Travis

    I’d rather see The Peanuts than fucking STAR WARS.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    It’s one of the unspoken rules of HitB. My guess is they don’t feel like reviewing animated movies, because they could only critique the scripts and editing, not the animation. I don’t know.

  • Domo

    Plinkett re-made their address joke, using “Mountain” this time instead of “Cliff.”

    Looks like you need a new screenwriter. Max Landis just isn’t cutting it.

  • Palpatine

    Bill Pullman must need a paycheck since Spaceballs: The Schwartz Awaken isn’t coming out for a while.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    THAT’S A JOKE, MAX! CAN YOU TAKE ONE YOU FAT FUCK!

  • Mick Travis

    I’m sure either Mike & Jay grew up watching the Peanuts and they will be compelled to see it either way. The trailer looks awesome!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Did it even have a final issue? Or did they just leave it like that?

  • rikkibarnes

    It ain’t happening.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Stop dude, it’s going to happen. Even when we wanted them to do Strange Magic we knew they wouldn’t do it.

  • rikkibarnes

    Stop.

  • Palpatine

    Rich Evans is the Charlie Brown of RLM.

  • Strelnikov

    That’s true of most of the movies coming out of Hollywood today….they seem to rushjob the script and focus on the effects.

  • Palpatine

    Yes. This.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    And the Fabio

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Rich Evans says he can’t shave his head because he would look exactly like Charlie Brown. Said as much during a stream.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You didn’t say the magic words.

  • Palpatine

    I can just picture Mike doing what Lucy does to Charlie with the football to Rich.

  • Palpatine

    Aaugh, my groin!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    While looking like Fabio. Man that sounds amazing.

  • Palpatine

    Please! Goddamn it, I hate this hacker crap!

  • Mick Travis

    I can see them doing THE PEANUTS MOVIE now with Rich Evans with a shaved head wearing a yellow, black striped shirt. Mike should be Linus and Jay should be Pigpen. 🙂

  • Mick Travis

    YOU BLOCKHEAD!

  • Palpatine

    Jay’s too sexy to be Pigpen.

  • Like Icare

    There’s a LOT silver age there, true, but it manages in the end to really sum up Superman and Luthor and their relationship, basically with a line each.

    “I could have saved the world if it wasn’t for you!”
    “You could have saved the world years ago if it mattered to you, Luthor.”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *cockhead

  • Hank_Henshaw

    The only way I can see them reviewing The Peanuts Movie is if they really, really loved Peanuts as kids and have strong nostalgia for it. That, or the movie has a Star Trek reference scene in it.

  • Niccageshair

    He’s been coasting on Independence Day money for far too long.

  • Mick Travis

    My bad: JAY SHOULD BE SNOOPY!!!

  • lol these guys are drunk!!

  • Palpatine

    They’re always drunk.

  • Mick Travis

    I bet you masturbate to DEATH BECOMES HER, don’t you?

  • RLMkeepitup

    she was okay in the yellow handkerchief although from this short interview clip you’d think she doesn’t get much into her ‘characters’ http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi2637890585?ref_=tt_pv_vi_aiv_2

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    That’s their secret.

  • Mick Travis

    Never say never!

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    I ain’t never heard of this stinkin’ movie and don’t give a damn about it. The good news is we’re one episode closer to Episode 100 which I’m sure is gonna be a hit!

  • rikkibarnes

    Rich Evans: That’s my secret, Jay. …I’m always drunk.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    They could open the episode with the Vince Guaraldi Peanuts theme instead of Fifth Avenue Stroll/Buddy. They kinda sound alike. Not really.

  • rikkibarnes

    When it comes to this? Yes. It’s the same as people asking Josh Trank and Max Landis to never direct again. It won’t work.

  • Like Icare

    IMHO, maybe the best summing up of “place for Superman” is in that GEN13-Superman crossover (Remember GEN13? It was a thing.)

    http://i977.photobucket.com/albums/ae252/bzooka/comics/000gxcd7-2.jpg
    http://i977.photobucket.com/albums/ae252/bzooka/comics/000gxcd7-4.jpg

    These hip new kids are all about how Superman is not cool and how he’s dated and his costume is funny and all… and then we get it from Lois.
    He never was cool. He’s not supposed to be cool.
    He’s Superman. He doesn’t care or cater to cool – he’s there to be relied on to do what no one else can or will do.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    What if episode 100 review is the four main RLM guys jerking a BB-8 droid?

  • Tim Hendrix

    OMG another episode, i have an amazing boner right now!

  • Niccageshair

    Then all of our dreams have come true!

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    This movie is worse than Gorilla Interrupted.

  • Palpatine

    Is that even possible?

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Sure, why not?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I think they did because they knew Frank Miller was crazy and ran out of cocaine.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They’re also pawns.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What about The Recovered?

  • Niccageshair

    Any movie that gives the NFL a headache is fine by me. (You see what I did there, Hollywood call me I gots some ideas!!!!!!)

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Also done pretty well in “What’s so Funny About Truth, Justice and The American Way?”

  • Like Icare

    There’s gonna be boxing fighting…

    Hey! Remember that movie where he and DeNiro fight because a video game and he can’t see in one eye and gets slapped?
    Yeah… It’s basically a bunch of scenes from various Rocky movies stitched together.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    THAT’S A JOKE, MAX!

  • Niccageshair

    This scene is truly fucking fantastic.

  • Palpatine

    That movie doesn’t seem that bad to be honest.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    So much Half in the Bag I want to GOUGE MY FUCKING EYES OUT!!!

  • Like Icare
  • RLMkeepitup

    it’s called becoming a ruminant

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    And a very common excuse.

  • strawberryman

    Max Landis is a whiner. And here’s the DEFINITIVE answer why:

    His entire line of argument is basically that there is no real reason
    for American Ultra to have failed so miserably, other than because it is
    an original movie (Max Landis on Twitter: “it has stars!~ it has [some]
    good reviews!~ it is a good movie!~ why did it fail? it makes no sense
    :'( “). Therefore there is no point to writing original scripts anymore
    (unless you’re Tarantino or Nolan), since they will probably fail. This
    is incorrect.

    1.
    The film has an uninteresting title, uninteresting leads, uninteresting
    premise. So already we’re off to a bad start.

    2.
    Then it has pretty bad reviews. Max is trying to go the “glass half
    full” route, by saying half the audience and half and half the critics
    like it. But c’mon… 48% rotten with critics, 56% rotten with audience,
    B- cinemascore (which is awful in cinemascore terms unless you’re
    making a film of high artistic caliber, which this is not).

    Sure that’s better than Hitman’s 8% and Sinister’s 12%. But let’s be
    real here. Why would the audience go to watch a rotten movie that half
    the audience hates, when they can go watch Straight Outta Compton (90%),
    Mission Impossible (93%), Ant-Man (79%), Man from Uncle (67%), Jurassic
    World (71%), or (another original film) The Gift (93%)?

    War Room (91% audience) and No Escape (72% audience) overcame bad
    reviews and American Ultra by being crowd-pleasers. So that’s two more
    options for the audience to rather go to.

    3.
    Sinister and Hitman overcame bad reviews and bad word of mouth by being a
    sequel/adaptation of something that people already like. This is how a
    lot of adaptations, sequels, prequels, reboots, etc manage to float by
    even if they suck. It was linked to something that they like.

    The point is… there has to be a reason for people to go see your
    movie.

    Either the title/premise should be something you want to see. Or the
    stars should be able to draw crowds (i.e. not Eisenberg/Stewart). Or it
    should be well-reviewed. Or it should be a crowd-pleaser even if it is
    disliked by critics. Even being obliquely related to something people
    like works as a draw (sequel, prequel, adaptation etc.)THERE HAS TO BE
    SOMETHING THAT APPEALS.

    With this movie, there was nothing that appeals. And that is why it
    failed.

    4.

    So ultimately, his doomsaying that ‘writing original films is a waste of
    time’ is idiotic. Especially in an year when we HAVE had original hits
    like: Inside Out, Spy, Home, Trainwreck, Get Hard, San Andreas. And also
    had a recent high profile bomb like the adaptation/reboot Fantastic
    Four (which even piggybacked the Marvel name in the trailers), which
    also had the same problem of having no appeal to anyone.

    He just can’t accept the fact that he wrote a film nobody wanted to see,
    so he’s throwing a melodramatic tantrum about the state of cinema.

    You are never entitled to an audience. You have to earn one. You can
    either take the relatively easy way out by making an
    adaptation/reboot/sequel of something that’s well-liked, or you can take
    the hard way, start from scratch and create something with fresh
    appeal. But if you take the hard way, don’t fucking whine about it.

    NOTE: It goes without saying that just because a film is an
    adaptation/reboot/sequel doesn’t mean that it will automatically be of
    poor quality (eg. Mad Max). And it also goes without saying that just
    because a film is original doesn’t mean that it is automatically of good
    quality (eg. American Ultra). So Max Landis should really get off his
    “I had the audacity to make an original movie” high horse. Because his
    original movie sucked.

    NOTE2: I spent so much fucking time writing this on Youtube, I might as well post this here too.

  • MPJZ

    It’s a shame that Landis takes himself so seriously. The only thing of his I’ve seen is the “Wrestling isn’t wrestling” video. It’s great.

  • Mail me a pack of Spotted Cow and Two Women you hacks! I can’t buy them in MN.

  • Niccageshair

    If Max thinks original ideas are a waste of time. Someones gotta write Hitman agent 47 vs Sinister why not him?

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • RLMkeepitup

    what is this a leaked plinkett review?

  • Sully

    FIRST!!1!!

  • Jay Stein

    Other than the absence of one who needs no naming, this was a perfect HIB…I have sunshine in my stomach…

  • Jay Stein

    The man isn’t stupid

  • Jay Stein

    He’d make a great Pig-Pen

  • Jay Stein

    you fucks, stop making me chuckle..

  • dswynne

    Not a “reboot”; it’s a spin-off. The events in the Rocky films did take place, but the story focuses on Apollo Creed’s son Adonis, with Rocky as Adonis’ mentor/trainer.

  • Jay Stein

    Really? Link plz..
    Nevermind…it’s true. The apple has fallen far….

  • Jay Stein

    They look like failed clones

  • Jay Stein

    Hollywood is done with Cera…or Sarah…?

  • Jay Stein

    Shame on you Palpy

  • Duckler

    Ever since she played Jodie Foster’s son, it’s been all downhill.

  • Jay Stein

    That movie was ill advised

  • Jay Stein

    She’s sultry, a tad…

  • strawberryman

    I didn’t expect such a nothing movie like American Ultra to produce such a highly entertaining episode.

  • Niccageshair

    I’ll respect anyone who goes all out at something and then can admit it didn’t quite work. Len does this, Max seemingly does not. Don’t expect much growth from Max movie to movie.

  • Like Icare

    “…and The American Way” kinda messes it up. It conflates actual human moral values with a political slogan and that’s never a good thing.
    Particularly in the light of things to come IRL.

    And even without it, it makes Superman start leaning into conservative and appear too damn localized.
    Would he be all “Sieg Heil!” had he landed in Germany?

    Plus it is a reaction to a particularly stupid run by “so fuckin edgy I have Reeve’s cape on my wall” Mark Millar in an unrelated universe.
    Which only points the light at the fact that they feel they need to “defend Superman” AND all those things in the title from completely unrelated “dangers”.
    The lady doth protest too much, methinks…

    And they even know that, cause in the end they pussy out and make it about dignity, honor, justice and DREAMS.
    http://goodcomics.comicbookresources.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/TruthJustice5.jpg
    Eeehm… We can’t really argue for “American way” but how about we argue for “wishing” instead?

    Which makes “on my planet it means hope” seem like Shakesman. And paints a giant fuckin arrow at the missing “American way” and how they thought they needed to defend it – but ultimately could not.
    On my planet that means ignoratio elenchi.

  • Mike Magnum

    I think the film “I Love you Phillip Morris”. Made be realize that Ewan Mcgregor could play anything.

  • Niccageshair

    Was “I love you Phillip Morris” Thank You for Smoking’s quickly rushed competition film?

  • Smittywerbenjagermanjensen

    Max Landis actually responded to this video, he seems mildly upset

    https://twitter.com/Uptomyknees/status/638493083043262464

  • Niccageshair

    What Hobbit reviews did he watch?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ohhhh. So a cashgrab.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Spoiled Hacks. An M. Night Shyamalan and Josh Trank film, produced by George Lucas, written by Max Landis, starring Jaden Smith.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Can’t make a script by Jorge good.

  • Tommy Wiseau

    Oh Hai Mark and Jay. I remember when my movie film “The Room” did not have much good reviews. First thing I did as director is blame both the writer and the main actor. But then I am realize this is me. I made a good laugh at that.

  • Like Icare

    Eeh… War Room is not really a good example of anything.

    Those religious-themed movies are known for gaming the scores wherever and whenever they can.
    They get people to give great reviews through their church, they organize church outings to theaters, they pre-sell group tickets at a discount to create the buzz about HUGE and SURPRISE openings…

    War Room currently has 30 user reviews on imdb.
    12 of those are by users who REGISTERED IN THE LAST 3 DAYS, and that is the only movie they ever saw, rated or reviewed.
    1 more is registered for 2 weeks (3 reviews) and 1 for 5 weeks (loves War Room, hates Compton on account of “sin”).

    This is not an isolated case. Jesus apparently likes cooking the books.

  • Like Icare

    Not a movie we deserve, but a one we need right now.

  • origonalname112

    They should get high like this before every review.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Were you fed up with this world?

  • Noah R.

    How can mirrors be real if our eyes aren’t real?

  • Thanatos2k

    You only get to go on a “Movie goers are stupid and hate new experiences” rant when you make a movie that’s actually good but doesn’t succeed undeservedly, like Pacific Rim or Golden Compass.

    If your movie sucks and you do it, you just look like a moron!

  • Noah R.

    RLM is the definition of smug and negative reviews. Lets face it, even when the boys like a movie they still have a habit of trash talking it.

    As a film maker Mr. Landis should understand that most movies featured on RLM videos do get panned, it’s all for entertainment. I mean, towards the end of this review the guys even point out that this movie wasn’t horrific, despite how much shit they gave it- it was just a “meh” movie that didn’t really live up to any of its possible strengths.

  • Noah R.

    I was thinking the same thing. I don’t think Max Landis actually watches RLM reviews all the way through or understands them. RLM craps on movies because it’s funny and entertaining, even when they had a good time watching it…

  • Unfortunately. When “Scott Pilgrim vs The World” under performed it basically meant he was no longer going to be seen as a draw. He would work in this sort of movie, same with McLove’n or one of the guys who played Quicksilver.

  • BCFC25

    You hack frauds better trademark that CIGAY idea before other hack frauds rip you off and it appears next summer as a direct to DVD!

  • Noah R.

    I really enjoyed Pacific Rim for some reason. It was very surprising!

  • Mark Bisone

    Bill Pullman shooting someone in the woods might almost be worth the price of admission. But when you apply the Eisenberg Certainty Principle, we still land on the negative square of XL Popcorn minus Chicken Nachos^10.

  • Thanatos2k

    Oh also, the marketing for this movie was FUCKING AWFUL. If you want to know why your movie lost to the shit that was Hitman, take a look at your marketing trailers and commercials, because they make your movie look like garbage! (Also apparently it is closer to garbage than good)

  • hamsterfist

    I think that there is a lot of things Max Landis doesn’t understand in life. Apparently people confusing being a retarded asshole with being a genius. Let’s see some genius before the smugness.

    People don’t necessarily hate assholes. (See Donald Trump) People DO hate assholes who haven’t earned the right to act as said assholes.

  • Thanatos2k

    Is the guy just a douche all the time?

  • Alex Lee

    I guess it’s just me, but she never seems comfortable on camera and I think it’s why it bleeds into her performances.

  • Thanatos2k

    Only 250 comments right now. I can actually read them all! And many will be on topic and not be jabbering about what they had for breakfast or what they stick up their man holes!

  • Thanatos2k

    Needed a Halfass Badass trailer at the end.

  • Thanatos2k

    At this point Will Sasso would be a better Lex Luthor.

  • RLMkeepitup

    this Landis guy seems genuinely bummed about the movies reception and genuinely in love with venting about that in tweet form

  • Jay Stein

    He grew up in privilege, what else do you expect?

  • Thanatos2k

    First response destroys him, and it’s all backpedaling from there.

    “Is it possible that American Ultra just isn’t good?”
    “who cares?”

    lol what a moron.

  • RLMkeepitup

    talk about a learning experience….. #?????????

  • Jay Stein

    It’s Mike and Susan..get with it

  • Thanatos2k

    They’ll schedule it to take 12 years, but then half-ass it.

  • Thanatos2k

    You’re saying it needs….a reboot?

  • harumph

    Anyone who uses Tarantino and Nolan as examples of original filmmakers may actually be entirely unaware that putting a stoner/gore spin on The Manchurian Candidate and Telefon isn’t an original idea. He may not even know that Telefon exists.

  • Thanatos2k

    I’m going to guess that, like me, they have absolutely no interest in the subject of the movie.

  • Thanatos2k

    I have a bad feeling Charlie Brown is going to “win” in the movie, showing the people involved have no idea what the purpose of the character is.

  • Mark Bisone

    BTW, “Curse of the Half-Assed Badass” would be a good name for a Lenny Kabs documentary.

  • Thanatos2k

    It’s Rocky 7. Sort of. It’s as much Rocky 7 as Rocky 5 was 5.

  • Ross Carruthers

    I fear people laughing at their own jokes…

  • Thanatos2k

    So like Rocky 5.

  • Bob Borries

    You’d think Max as a professional writer would be too busy to reply to critics from every corner of the internet, but apparently he has a lot of time on his hands.

  • Thanatos2k

    Just read it all in Plinkett’s voice.

  • Thanatos2k

    When you argue on Twitter in 100 word snippets replying to 10 people at once, you don’t get to whine about context. That’s why people making a well edited engaging humorous video destroying your work always, always win.

  • Strelnikov

    That ship has sailed; it needed work before the first scene was shot.

  • Mark Bisone

    Shit! This motherfucker can whine like a goddamned wolf playing a theremin. How do these infants continue to score such “big” budgets?

  • Jay Stein

    It’s not that hard to figure out..

  • Mark Bisone

    Handjobs?

  • Jay Stein

    Max Landis’ dad is John Landis

  • Lt Hurwitz

    How do you think he rationalizes how great the reboot sequels of Mission Impossible have been? It’s almost as if you can use an old property to tell a new story really, really well. Or you can come up with a new property, call it American Ultra, and cast K-Stew.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Idris Elba was great, but the male lead was a dud. When he was fighting the main antagonist I seriously couldn’t tell which was which.

  • Mark Bisone

    He gave his dad a handy?

  • John Bigbootay

    In the bubble he lives in, Max plugged in all the right elements: gay non sequitur character, stoner slackers, CIA is evil bad, over the top violence. But apparently, there aren’t enough bubble people who want to see this. Either that, or even some of them didn’t like it, which, considering the elements, is pretty bad.

  • Jay Stein

    possibly?

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Yeah, not really fair at all to compare anyone to her

    http://celebmafia.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/charlize-theron-mad-max-fury-road-premiere-in-hollywood_1.jpg

    and she can act her ass off too.

  • StopThinkingBrainUrGoingToHurt

    Review Straight Outta Compton already, its 29 years in the making so if my math is correct it will get at least 15 Academy Award noms.

  • Jay Stein

    won’t happen,….or will it?

  • Mark Bisone

    I mean, I know he’s Landis’ kid. But still, Hollywood is late Hapsburg Empire at this point; everyone is someone else’s child, sibling, second cousin, grand-niece, etc. “She’s my sister AND my daughter!!!” I guess getting dumped at the ass-end of August is a testament to the diminishing returns of nepotism, but it’s still hilariously ugly that “big talents” were in a picture this lame.

    Then again, I guess it’s uglier still that two sheaves of wood paneling like Eisenberg and Stewart are considered “big talents”. Who did their parents knuckle-fuck?

  • BCFC25

    What a complete cock muncher

    Dude get over yourself your movie was shit and noone not even stoners wanted to see it.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Mike and Jay never really liked any of the Hobbit movies. Check your facts Max Landis.

  • Max Landis always seems to express himself earnestly and does actually have a few cool YT videos discussing films himself. I get that it sucks to have something you’ve created pulled apart, particularly if you’re always emotionally invested in your projects.

    But the important thing is to learn from it. If he gains emotional maturity in the next 5 years then he’ll probably look back on his I’ll advised twitter rant and inability to take criticism with a keen sense of embarrassment. Oh and hopefully he’ll also abandon his witless ‘all opinions are valid’ stance.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Don’t forget that Tarantino used Kurosawa and Leone as big inspirations…

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    $20 says CIGay will be released before SpaceCop

  • Jay Stein

    Thank you for clarifying.

  • lawra Weltreich

    except Lenny is a complete badass

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    We’re still waiting for Max’s full 108-page rebuttal to Mike and Jay’s critique.

    Seriously, does he realize he’s talking to the guys who called George Lucas a hack and accused Adam Sandler of committing fraud? He’s not winning this argument.

  • Galactic Shawn

    I really liked Kristen Stewart in that movie with the bizarre love triangle between a cannibal a rottweiler and manikin.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Twitter proves that what someone says isn’t nearly as impactful as what they do. Max is not going to convince anyone that he’s a good writer by bitching. He just looks like an ass.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Something tells me RLM rushed this episode into production to stir up some drama for the free publicity. Bravo, Mike and Susan. Your plan worked perfectly.

  • TapewormBike

    Oh, Max. I like they guy, quite a lot actually. But when your main medium to express yourself are tweets, you will sooner or later make a complete idiot out of yourself.

    Or Disqus comments.

  • TapewormBike

    Plus, they are the target audience.

  • TapewormBike

    They did like Chronicle, though?

  • Galactic Shawn

    Anyone want to be a successful Hollywood screenwriter? I recommend watching the documentary “Tales From the Script”

  • TapewormBike

    Does it give good blowjob advice?

  • Galactic Shawn

    It’s the FIRST thing they go over.. technique and all

  • TapewormBike

    Just kidding, I’ve seen it. The John Carpenter Bukkake Tips helped me immensely.

  • Just when you think Mike’s warming up to the feelings of laughter and joy, he goes full on unexpected thug mode.

    Brutal.

  • I’d give Kristen Stewart a chance, because of Into The Wild, over Jessie Facebook any given day. They both can only play themselves in every role, which means neither can act at all, but at least Kristen Stewart doesn’t seem like a douche.

  • Jaws

    Hitler has only got one ball, Goring has two but very small, Himmler has
    something similar, but poor old Goebbels has no balls at all

  • Marvin Falz

    Aaah, another happy Hindenburg. I mean the movie Mike and Jay were reviewing.

  • Toffoli_73

    Jay’s expression at 3:36 is similar to what I call my “RLM face”.

  • TapewormBike

    I mean, he’s not wrong, but the fact that he went onto condemning the industry around the time his movie Tranked, does make him look rather whiny.

  • TapewormBike

    Bubble people like dinosaurs.

  • TapewormBike

    When taking those two as pillars of originality, let’s not forget that Leone got fucking sued by Kurosawa for straight up remaking Yojimbo without even asking.

  • Thanatos2k

    The only thing a Mission Impossible trailer needs is the music. Doesn’t even matter what they show on the screen, just play the music and people will want to see a Mission Impossible movie.

  • TapewormBike

    You can totally say that, if you don’t blatantly use your own movie as an example of the brighter future. Hence telling Mike and Jay “Ughh, and Gorilla Interrupted was a masterpiece, right”. is always dumb, because they never say that. And they shouldn’t, because Garret.

  • Domo

    They liked Chronicle, but not in the way Max Landis wanted it to.

    Which is Mike and Jay were all wrong!

  • It can hurt when someone you admire doesn’t like your stuff and sure, he is right about Hollywood. I will agree with him that it’s not always the case that when a movie tanks it means it’s bad.

  • Toffoli_73

    Yeah but he just sounds so damn convinced that people owe it to him to celebrate his movie. He should just be thankful he gets these kind of opportunities, suck it up, and learn form the experience. I dunno, just me.

  • Domo

    Plus stating that RLM are reviewers are outside the scope of Hollywood, thus aren’t a legit review, while at the same time admitting that he’s watched multiple HiTBs seems contradictory.

  • TapewormBike

    Man, those guys are always wrong, aren’t they? Adam Sandler said so. I mean, I think he said that, he was mostly crying and rolling around in money.

  • Well, you’re absolutely right, he does come off as entitled whatever that word means.

  • JAGUART

    Rich Evans in Half-Assed Badass

    http://i.imgur.com/e38I9xg.jpg

  • True JaguART.

  • Toffoli_73

    The gun should be that little girly pink gun.

  • Luke

    0:33 the phone magically teleports from Mike’s left hand to right.

  • Toffoli_73

    It’s kinda true. Scores are little more than ambient noise in movies nowadays. I hope John Williams destroys my mind with his new Star Wars stuff, but he does tend to phone it in at his age.

  • TapewormBike

    It’s hungarian for “ear-fingering”

  • Alex Lee

    Exactly. I’d have more sympathy if it was an unpublished script because no one even gave it a chance. This movie got a chance and was judged accordingly.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    This movie was miscahorribly miscast.

  • Jaws
  • WrongWithYourFace

    Even the grapefruit??

  • Domo

    I’m sure the boom mic operator did a wonderful job.

  • Jaws

    it’s like…
    ”hey man I wrote a movie”
    ”and some fuck put that Twilight chick in it? lol”
    ”yeah, I know. *sad face”

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Only if he turns bold. He said it himself.

    EDIT: AKA what Hank said below.

  • Jaws

    Golden Compass… lol

  • Well I agree! He does come over as self-involved and whiny. But at least he actually seems to care about his work, so there is hope for him yet. If he can learn to get over his emotional attachment to his work and accept constructive criticism then he’ll become a better scriptwriter.

    i think you’re right in that the proof of the pudding is in the eating, so it’ll be very interesting to see what he comes up with next…

  • Jaws

    101 sure fire ways of getting booed at a party

    1. hey man i got this grate idea, let’s go watch a movie with Bella in it

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yeah, not convinced. She looks really awkward, like she always does.

  • Bubs

    After viewing this episode I’ve developed a theory. Mike and Jay are not actually alcoholics. I think their natural state is being drunk, just as many of us are in the natural state of sobriety. In a strange Benjamin-Button-esque turn of events, the more alcohol they consume, the more sober they become. This is perfectly evidenced in this video, where they begin the video completely blitzed, and become more sober as it goes on, despite consuming numerous drinks.

  • Bubs

    Does that mean… he could be here among us? He could be anyone… even you… even me…

    Max? Come here boy. Come here, Max!
    Ruff! Ruff! Arf Arf!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    If you pay really close attention, you’ll come to realize she talks like Christopher Walken.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Yeah, but when George Lucas remade Hidden Fortress IN SPAAAAAAACE and replaced the Japanese peasants with gay robots, it became a pop culture icon.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Too much blood in the alcohol system, that’s their problem.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    “Do you have a beer on ready?”

  • TapewormBike

    Hey now, they identified as fembots.

  • TapewormBike

    Catering had cookies to die for. Did you know that catering people are the ones to pick up poop when animals are on set? Unions, can’t beat them.

  • Matthew James (B1trider)

    I would pay money to see Rich Evans in Half-Assed Badass.. well not actual money but please do it anyway..

  • YFNEF

    Yeah, the problem here is that the argument is fallacious in several ways. He strawmans M&J’s argument, focusing solely on the fact that they didn’t like an original feature after years of bitching about sequels, reboots and adaptations, while thinking in a black-and-white, false-binary way of original=good/IP-derived=bad, forgetting that even if you make an original feature, you still have to make it GOOD. Shit is shit no matter what went into making it.

  • Bubs

    Deathlist was an original film. Where’s ITS oscar?

    Also, after studying some of Max Landis’ other tweets with a team of scientists, we’ve reached one undeniable conclusion: he’s a douche.

  • YFNEF

    He SHOULD just keep on explaining comic books and wrestling on youtube. Make more money that way.

  • It was Pa Kent. Dun-dun-dun.

  • YFNEF

    Well, to be fair, he meant “original” as in “not based on an existing intellectual property”, and with four millennia of storytelling under humanity’s collective belt it’s hard to create really original stories. Everything is a repost of a repost.

  • TapewormBike

    I’d pay two moneys, even

  • YFNEF

    The main antagonists were the aliens. The australian douche was more like the “asshole rival” character

  • Jake Cook

    Half-Assed Badass: The story of a top, undercover CIA operative who hates his job and so puts as little effort in as possible in the hopes that he might one day fuck up so bad he’ll either be fired or die. Unfortunately he’s so good at his hated job, that even when he puts in zero effort, he always managed to successfully complete every mission using nothing but household objects and common sense! Rich Evans is the Half-Assed Badass! … There, I came up with a premise for you, now all you have to do is write it!

  • Doctor John Smith

    Its called ‘Functional Alcoholism.’

  • Doctor John Smith

    this song is a good start.

    https://youtu.be/Ag43uW4AOFc

  • Doctor John Smith

    Len always uses his whole arse!.

  • Doctor John Smith

    I loved it right up till the sword… all it needed was one short line in the script.
    “There is a back-up but no ones ever tried it.”
    but no there is no explanation of why the most effective weapon they have was never used before and then its never used again. fuck that movie!

  • TapewormBike

    Jaws, you fucker.

  • rubytmillers

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  • rubytmillers

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  • TapewormBike

    Is her name Ruby or Rubyt? It’s making me like, Landis mad.

  • Doctor John Smith

    PLEASE can we not reply to the spam? it only makes them come back.

  • TapewormBike

    Well they better stop being hot.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Is “Rubyt” a Czech name?

    What’s driving me more Landis mad, though, is the math of these people. Geez, switching a 20 grand salary to 15 grand one…

    #ShakesMeHead

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Shut up. We’re working on that.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Not to mention the tax implications.

  • Adzl33t

    Because it has Black people? It at least had Paul Giamatti tonmake more palatable for them (if Hollywood made a Plinkett movie with a better known name I would pick Giamatti)

    Besides aside from Landis’s tweets they had little interest in the movie, just another easy target

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    What’s all the whining about original ideas, when we get 4-5 tentpole movies a year now, and that’s what we’ve always wanted? Do you really want to go back to the days when we only got a blockbuster once a year or every other year when Spielberg or Cameron made a movie and the rest of the time we had to settle for movies that were diverse and iffy like Stand By Me, Goodfellas, Tootsie, Unforgiven, and Heat? Sure, some of those movies might have even crawled to $300 million at the Box Office, but the new Star Wars movie will make twice that in one weekend and can do that every year from now on!
    Why, in the next few years alone we’ll have Star Wars, Civil War, Infinity Wars, Jurassic War. We’ll even have a war on my planet of the apes. What with the real- world War on Christian Values and World War 3 in the Mideast and Asia, Americans will want to be distracted. And what better way of being entertained during wartime than watching war all the time in the theaters?
    The only reason they should make movies is to entertain, and they should entertain the most people. That’s why my generation has the greatest movies, ever. Avatar, Jurassic World, The Avengers, Furious 7. If they weren’t the greatest they wouldn’t top the list. So suck on THAT crybaby old people.

  • Domo

    You think it’s going to be Mount Rushmore, but it’ll always be Mount Rushless.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    he should be blaming the director. Project X was straight up vile. That movie represents the worst humanity has to offer.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Pacific Rim wasn’t good. Great CGI and art direction but the acting and writting was so bland and wortheless it sucked out any exciment the movie had going for it . I should not be bored by a movie where giant monsters fight giant robots but PR managed to do it.

  • TapewormBike

    Call the fire brigade, Domo’s on fire!

  • TapewormBike

    We had to do with a piece of string and a brick, in my times.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    they gave a pass to all three of them. that’s far far far more then they deserve.

  • Like Icare

    Dismount Rushmore?

    While on that topic…
    Dismount McKinley, mount up Denali.
    http://news.yahoo.com/white-house-says-mount-mckinley-renamed-denali-210234767.html#

    It ain’t just rejection of veracity of something any more!

  • Doctor John Smith

    You had STRING? you rich bastard!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Brick end up in window? String to get brick back?

  • Like Icare

    How bout cool instead? Did anyone try to corner that elusive bot-market?

  • TapewormBike

    I exchanged that in the school for one of my kidneys.

  • Kirke

    Critical research failure all over the place! Buster Bluth was in military and was the best drone pilot they had! Hackfrauds.

  • Doctor John Smith

    We used to just tie worms together to make string.

  • TapewormBike

    Don’t even fucking look at me.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Sorry i wasnt thinking. that was racist.

  • Like Icare

    Landincensed?

    Take a Snickers.

  • TapewormBike

    It’s OK, let’s bond over Big Momma’s House 3. Oprah is great in that.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Opera is dead man.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You’re safe; he’ll have to go through his colon first.

  • Doctor John Smith

    what,

  • Domo

    I couldn’t do that with a brick. I had to save them all to build my mud brick house.

  • Like Icare

    You sure that ain’t cat ring people?

  • TapewormBike

    This webzone’s not big enough for two bad punners….

  • Doctor John Smith

    i’m filling all my old cat food tins and rum bottles with cement. i built 5 houses last month….
    they smelt of rotting fish and stale rum, but you cant have everything.

  • TapewormBike

    Or indeed, anything.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    These are my awards Mother. From army!

  • Domo

    That should be the stuff you send to RLM.

  • Like Icare

    Wasn’t Buster Bluth the actor who shot Lincoln?

  • Domo

    Nono. It was Busta Rhymes.

    Like poetry and all that.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    What are you doing with so many houses, you monopolic monster?!

  • TapewormBike

    Nah, they always have three names. Busta Friggin Rhymes.

  • Doctor John Smith

    No. that was Christopher Walken Booth. in the WW1.

  • TapewormBike

    I bet he fucking keeps sheep in them or something like that, pervy fuck.

  • Like Icare

    Ah shit… Let’s not make it another Punic war.
    There were a bunch of those already.

  • Domo

    I learn so many wonderful things on the Internet.

  • Doctor John Smith

    i need them to house all my cats…

  • Kirke

    I was made to understand there were grilled cheese sandwiches here

  • Doctor John Smith

    *keeps fucking.
    Syntax is a thing dude.

  • Like Icare

    Oh no you didn’t!

  • TapewormBike

    Not in this country, is not it.

  • Doctor John Smith

    I miss Senator McCarthy.

  • Like Icare

    Oh… if his American Contra(dicktion) stopped there…
    Books, volume, warning labels could be written about contradictions of his logic and statements.

  • Palpatine

    This movie just goes to show that just because something is an original idea, that doesn’t always mean it’ll be good.

  • TapewormBike

    Or original.

  • Kirke

    Or a movie.

  • Doctor John Smith

    This country(implyed) Flag(feminim) Turning Reciprocally?(Sexual?)
    … i think my translator is Male(Neuter)?Functioning.

  • Palpatine

    Every “idea” has always been an update of an older one. It’s been that way for thousands of years.

  • TapewormBike

    Or I can’t believe it’s not a movie!

  • TapewormBike

    You would know.

  • TapewormBike

    I do

  • Doctor John Smith

    Mazel Tov!

  • Palpatine

    The Star Wars movies took their ideas from older sources and made them into something fresh and new.

  • Doctor John Smith

    #Luke is Frodo!

  • TapewormBike

    #AryanFrodoFTW

  • Doctor John Smith

    They both got glowing swards of weird old men and went on adventures with a wizard that died and then came back.
    then spent three movies just to throw evil down a well.
    Edit: Sorry Palpy. is that Racist?

  • Domo

    I would rather take a good, well-written sequel/reboot/remake to a bad movie with an original idea.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    aw shucks!

  • Doctor John Smith

    ‘Laser Moon Awakens.’ finally got past the DMCA’s.

    https://youtu.be/Lu9dUG3_KNA

  • Michael Collins

    You could say that about the trolls….oh wait!!

  • Doctor John Smith

    Thats right Susan.

  • Like Icare

    He COULD be blaming the director… Or he could be a bigger man and NOT.

    Len Kabasinski and Matt Hannon both took the criticism head on, accepted it without taking it as a matter of their personal pride being hurt – and came out as bigger men instead of as egotistical entitled assholes.
    But then again, both Hannon and Kabasinski seem as pretty down to earth kinda guys who do what they do cause they love the craft instead of strictly for some personal ego or financial reason.

  • Jason Ross

    Michael Cera and Kristen Stewart suck. The only redeeming feature of this film is hot Connie Britton

  • Welcome Back Otter

    Wait until Max realises that even his being mad isn’t original.

  • instant relief

    The Star Wars Ring Theory is true!
    #Kony2012

  • Like Icare

    Yeah… until they run over some dino-poop with their bubble.
    https://accpaleo.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/11401425_915258735203474_551498233333322083_n.jpg

  • Brack to the Future

    Locke and Slow West. Those are two nice moving pictures. Stream them free today before Amazon and Netflea realise their awesome movie power and remove them!

  • Brack to the Future

    I recall Michael Sera as a regular skinny tool from Superbad. Does this kid age?

  • Brack to the Future

    I’d rather take a walk.

  • Like Icare

    I never “loved it” as its logic failures start much earlier.
    They have “rations” but welding iron bars for big fucking walls is a great job because of “big paychecks”…

    Logic failures are not isolated incidents.
    They are a symptom of the failure of the mind to grasp the reality or will to invest in creating a logical reality of the story.
    They either don’t get they are wrong or don’t care.
    Both will create BotW material, but the first kind will create the spectacular ones.

  • Like Icare

    Elba is the only redeeming point in that movie.

    And that’s a lot considering that Ron Pearlman is wasted on that movie too.

  • Like Icare

    Her mom and dad are both “in the industry” (stage manager and a script supervisor) and they got her in at a young age.

    So she did start as “someone’s kid” but pretty low on the ladder of it all as the pedigree boosts go.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Yeah and why build massive robots when you could just line the city walls with those nifty Plasma cannons.

  • TapewormBike

    Yeah yeah, movie whatever. I miss Omi!

  • Like Icare

    I beg to differ. They are not smug or negative.
    Every episode starts with self-derision and with them painting themselves as lazy hackfrauds. That’s pretty much the opposite of smug.

    And they are not negative – they are analytical.
    It’s just that IF there are aspects of the movie that fail under analysis they will not be politically correct and will instead go over the top in making fun of those aspects.
    And they are consistent there regardless if they like the movie or not.

  • moron

    The indroduction of excessive violence into a movie sounds like the massive shitfest that was Kingsmen. People will definitely find it funny the protagonist of the up-to-that-point silly spy movie murders an entire church full of people. Its okay since its the south and everyone in the south is a racist, obviously.

  • Thanatos2k

    “Pacific Rim wasn’t good.”

    Of course it was. If you were bored by giant monsters fighting then it might be because you’re a boring dollar store cashier wife.

  • Thanatos2k

    “Because it has Black people?”

    Because it’s about rap music, one of my least favorite musical genres?

  • its called bleach

    idk about this opinion that good movies are better than bad ones. this is the rlm webzone but imo some ideas are just too controversial

  • its called bleach

    where the fuck are the other 100 ways

  • Like Icare

    No. It’s a movie where Jim Carrey fucks dudes in the ass, commits various frauds, ends up in jail, falls in love with Ewan McGregor and then proceeds to escape from prisons in various inventive ways. Based on a true story.

    Movie obviously suffers from issues with the powers that be trying to make it more “presentable” and comes out as… weak.
    Oh… there’s still gay sex and financial fraud and jailbreaks… but it is somehow… subdued. Which simply doesn’t work with Jim Carrey.

  • Like Icare

    Is that like a thing where church people come asking for money?
    I’m an atheist. I don’t believe in sin or the need to pay a tax on it.

  • Mark Bisone

    RIP Wes Craven: A man who directed both Michael Berryman and Meryl Streep. If only it could’ve been in the same project.

  • Amontillado

    That line delivery when you said,” Oh hai doggy,” was especially perfect.

  • Amontillado

    I CAN – not accept the CAN – cellation.

  • They made a cool poster though. Just remove the faces and I’d watch that badboy all day.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    giants monsters fighting was all fine and dandy. problem is that’s like 33% of the movie.until then you have to sit trough some of the most boring and wortheless characters,dialogue and acting. Charlie ham-face should not a be a lead in any movie ever.

  • He must understand the problems with his own movie right? And be able to see it form that perspective? It’s not a good movie! Redbox is it’s home. But still I kindof like him now. And it’s still going to be better that Space Flop! With is not even Redbox material.

  • Mick Travis

    Exactly, just like Denzel’s character had in FLIGHT.

  • Adzl33t

    That’s because you probably just heard the fluffy water down junk.

  • Mick Travis

    Man, he is really coming off like a whiny cunt.

  • Mick Travis

    Uh, actually complete creative control is with the creator’s family; 20th century fox and blue sky are just distributing it. So I doubt they will make that mistake.

  • Sully

    I’m from the south and that was my favorite scene in that film. It was like watching your dreams come true.

  • Alex

    Arrested Development is the greatest TV comedy ever.

  • Palpatine

    I made some tweaks to my Halloween remake script if anyone cares to read it:
    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZGMHR05sJ6enRPC-UJVMinanq76Ap6E_LUbFIe9mMNs/mobilebasic

  • TapewormBike

    Dude, you still haven’t approved me as far as I know. Let me rip that thing apart!

  • Wolvy

    The Long Kiss Goodnight did it twenty years ago..

  • Palpatine

    I want people’s opinions.

  • harumph

    Fair enough, if “original” just means “not a sequel.”

  • TapewormBike

    Well, click approve on your gmail then or something so I can read it, you phallic-like gentleman.

  • TapewormBike

    Where the hell is Hillary Swank?! Seriously guys, this is not funny, stop it.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Max Landis is so full of himself. He is convinced he is an artist. I’m convinced his dad killed Vic Morrow.

  • Uncle Sporkums

    I don’t think he has enough testosterone to.

  • Galactic Shawn

    I’ll admit it, American Ultra is my pick for Best of the Worst for an opening weekend. The movie wasn’t terrible but the general public might be put off by what they think is a stoner comedy plus Kristen Stewart still gets a lot of backlash for her acting in “Glittery Near-Sex Love Story Saga”. Actually now that I think about it, making her a stoner was genius. Michael Cera should have been cast instead of Jesse Eisenberg.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Hillary Swank has returned to her home planet.

  • Palpatine

    I’m not sure how to do that.

  • TapewormBike

    Me neither, but in your inbox should be something saying “this fucking weird dude wants acces to your dcument, do you let him in?” And my address is just my username basically.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Is this the one where Jasons like a woman and its all a simulation in a sentient Russian computer analyzing American fears as a possible vulnerability and ultimately leads to a PsiWar between the US & Russia? And Freddy Kruegers like, the hero this time?

  • Palpatine

    Gmail is evil.

  • harumph

    I’m not forgetting. That was my point. And also remember that Tarantino’s big ruse is that he will cop to the influences of the respected giants, like Kurosawa and Leone, but he will do everything he can to disguise the actual sources, such as Ringo Lam and Sergio Corbucci.

    For example, The Inglourious Basterds wore the influence of The Dirty Dozen on its sleeve, and Tarantino frequently name-checked that film in interviews. However, on the ultra-rare occasions when he was confronted with the actual source material, Enzo G. Castellari’s Inglorious Bastards, Tarantino got cagey and dismissive about the influence.

    Expect the same with The Hateful 8, which lifts its plot from Corbucci’s The Great Silence and Rafael Romero Marchent’s Cutthroats 9. I’m sure that Tarantino will be talking about Leone and Kurosawa, but will not voluntarily mention Marchent or Corbucci.

  • TapewormBike

    I have another email adress of a czech company that has a cute dog as their mascot, so I trust them.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Fun fact: Jurors in the murder trial were convinced that defendant Landis was writing a script about them. In fact he was just doodling and really paying no attention to the trial for most of it.

  • harumph

    “…making her a stoner was genius.”

    Even that wasn’t an original idea. She’s played stoners/junkies before.

  • instant relief

    *IRL

  • Palpatine

    You know what, I’m just going to put it on a different site because Google sucks.

  • Toffoli_73

    Haven’t seen American Ultra so I can’t judge but I agree that the promotional and casting departments screwed up royally with this one. You have to convince the people to buy a ticket for your movie to be successful. I can’t think of a single person I know who has even had a fleeting thought about seeing that movie. Maybe it is decent, but is that enough to cry over? If Landis thought his “Citizen Kane” was being threatened that’s one thing, but come on. It’s a silly movie. Did they really think there was a demand to see a stoner version of the Manchurian Candidate?

  • harumph

    I remember reading reports about how he kept that infuriating smirk of his on his face throughout the whole trial.

    http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/300_portrait/2013/11/john_landis.jpg

  • Cream-A-Thon

    When I saw the trailer for American Ultra the ‘Dumped it in August’ sensation overcame me. It got better.

  • TapewormBike

    You do that, Sheev

  • Galactic Shawn

    You’re right, I vaguely remember seeing Snow White and the Huntsman.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Terrible movie, too. I guess I’m glad it wasn’t Kurt Russell. I really liked Used Cars.
    Edit: Whoops, Used Cars was Robert Zemeckis.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Oh and two inconsequential Vietnamese children. They weren’t famous though. In all seriousness Max is a spoiled brat who had it all handed to him. His Dad had some great films and then he dried up. He was a prick about the accident and I see a similar attitude in his rotten son.

    Funny, both of his movies really offer nothing original, and Deer Woman from Masters of Horror didn’t either.

  • TapewormBike

    OK, nepotism is damn given in this case but I don’t think it’s all that fair to jump on Max for his father not giving a fuck about safety on set in the 80s.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Yea, I mean, its not like Olsen twins were lost in the twisted wreckage.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    I’m just being a hateful prick. Had added a little “oomph” to it and it was a part of this video it would have gone over like gangbusters.

  • Toffoli_73

    Careful with the “O” word. You’re going to make a lot of people cum right through their computer screens.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    That was the worst thing I’ve seen in my life.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Halloween is one of my most beloved films. Can you promise that if I click the link this will be better than the sequels and the insipid Rob “Zombie” films? Is Ian McDiarmid playing Loomis? Is Loomis revealed to have driven Myers insane? Is Loomis revealed to be Palpy in the last reel?

  • Palpatine

    That’s for you to decide.

  • TapewormBike

    Btw, as someone who follows Landis on Twitter, although I barely check my own now, it would be pretty hard to distinguish a “rant” from anything else.

  • Palpatine

    So here’s my script with a hopefully better link:
    https://dl-web.dropbox.com/get/Halloween%20Script.doc?_subject_uid=463006531&w=AADfYacXLu1zwYJ8M3Y6aTNPD-xia8LkVOO72gr2SDcSUA
    Please tell me what you guys think of it.

  • Palpatine

    Tell Max that his father is a murderer.

  • Niccageshair

    What is twitter but a silent shouting match.

  • Like Icare

    It still don’t work. I’m guessing it is set to private access or it’s a bad link or something.

  • Alex

    While I welcome you guys reviewing a smaller movie since almost a decade. Did it have to be a freaking Max Landis joint? You guys should’ve seen Kingsman last year. It’s time for a Half in the Retroactive Bag.

  • Niccageshair

    “Good artists borrow, great artist steal”-Leone/Tarantino

    “Hey that’s my line”-Pablo Picasso

  • Palpatine

    Alright, I’ll change it.

  • Niccageshair

    Try an open un-editable google doc. Like how they put out the Rocky vs Rambo script.

  • Like Icare

    czech company that has a cute dog as their mascot

    As good as most security practices out there.

  • Palpatine

    How can I do that?

  • Niccageshair

    Gotta play around in Google Drive. A ton of help I know but I forget the settings every time.

  • Brack to the Future

    Man if I could punch my Roku I’d do it. Got a gift sub to Hulu and it’s got ads? WTF?

  • Brack to the Future

    Speaking of remakes. Josh Brolin is great and his Oldboy is excellent, however:

    I woke up on the couch last night and the original was on, and that hot, sweet girltagonist was having sex and going “oh it’s so good, it hurts so much!”

    It’s the subtle things. Royal with cheese subtle.

  • Brack to the Future

    I may not be an emperor but at least my interocitor has been functional since 1950-something.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I’m not one of those people that holds the original to be a masterpiece but the remake sucks. Fuck you Spike Lee.

  • Brack to the Future

    Unless you’re awesome, then it’s a silent shouting match placed on billboards all over the world forever.

  • TapewormBike

    I feel I might not be a first one to do that.

  • Niccageshair

    I’m sure it wouldn’t be the first time heads have rolled over it on twitter.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Original my ass. It’s The Big Lebowski mixed with Chuck trying to be a Matthew Vaughn film.

  • TapewormBike

    I watched the original one on Christmas day back at home, couple of years ago. Puts you in the cheer in no time.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    If Matthew Vaughn wrote and directed American Ultra would it be better?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The original to me is a near perfect movie. Movies like that should never be remade.

  • Niccageshair

    I love the original too and the remake simply missed the point by a long mile.

  • TapewormBike

    Better cast for sure.

  • Mark Bisone

    Don’t know if there are any Wim Wenders fans out there, but I caught a screening of his 4K- remastered, 5-hour director’s cut of the infamous hack-flop “Until the End of the World.” While it’s still far from a perfect film, I have to say that, unlike the original release, it certainly feels like a finished film now, with little of the awkward structure and bizarre editing that turned so many people off. In particular, Solveig Dommartin’s performance comes off much, much better in this version. She was hammered by the critics the first time around, and it pretty much killed her career. I now understand how horrified the director must have been at having to cut so many of the amazing scenes and moments that tied her character together. And the addition of a framing story in the form of a untrustworthy narrator helped the whole enterprise immeasurably.

    Anyway, Wenders was there to introduce the film and do a Q&A afterwards, and I thought the back story to the”director’s cut” was really interesting. Wenders had gotten $25 million for the production (an outrageous fortune back then for an artsy, indie film by a foreign director) but only on the condition that he turn in a film that was less than 160 minutes long. But when he got in the booth with Pryzgodda, they found the best film they could produce was almost 300 minutes long. They tried to bargain with the bankrollers (“Let us split it into two movies”), but ultimately they needed to cut it down or lose control of final cut. But before they took the butcher’s knife to it, Wenders, at his own expense, made a second negative of the 288-minute cut, which has been sitting on a shelf gathering dust for the past quarter-century, waiting for the rights to revert to him so he could release it.

    I just think it’s an interesting story, given the kind of vandalism we’ve scene from Lucas and his ilk, or the revisited vanity projects of other directors who trying to relive their glory days in the dumbest ways possible. Here’s a guy who’s been calmly waiting for 25 years to get his film seen. It’s like he’s opening a time capsule to what sounded like a pretty painful period in his career, and there doesn’t seem to be anything cynical or cash-grabby about it, as I was beginning to expect with Ridley Scott’s endless re-cuts of “Blade Runner”. Refreshing.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Based on this scene he would’ve made it better

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1jf2hOkec4

  • Like Icare

    Hey youse guys…

    Has anyone actually seen the movie discussed above as below?
    If so – why is it called AMERICAN Ultra.

    You know… American Flatulators is a pun on American Gladiators where American in the title was supposed to distinguish the contestants from all those other gladiators out there AND to denote that the contestants are regular people from across America. OK. Got it.

    American Ninja has “American” in the title to help distinguish him from all those Japanese ninjas. Which is NOT as easy as it seems at first, as ninjas often wear face-concealing headgear.

    American Beauty deals with middle class suburban American families.

    American Pie is about fucking having sex with pastry.

    Why is this movie “American”?
    What is it about it that would require a French remake to be retitled French Ultra? Or FU for short.

  • Kirke

    I’ve discovered it last month. I’m obsessed, I’ve been watching it non stop since then. I work out, I watch it. I crochet, I watch it. I’m playing video games, it’s playing on the iPad next to me. I think I must have seen s1-3 6 or 7 times already? Gob’s bachelor party episode is currently playing as I’m typing it. I’m like Buster with juice.

  • Niccageshair

    Isn’t American Ultra a strain of weed?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Being stoned/hyper violence is american would be my guess.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I rewatched There Will Be Blood a couple years ago on christmas day.

    #yeah we’re happy people

  • Snake Squeezer

    4K is so 2014

  • Snake Squeezer

    What if Palpy directed it?

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Snake Squeezer

    Lube up and take it, consumer!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It would still be a pretty flawed movie but at least it would be enjoyable. Kingsman is my guilty pleasure movie of 2015.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Palpy works in mysterious ways. Nobody ever knows where he is, or what he is doing, but know in your heart, he hates you.

  • Niccageshair

    Out of context, this seems a little over the top.

  • Snake Squeezer

    write it into a planet with the death starz laserz beamz

  • Palpatine

    Since Google and Dropbox didn’t work, I decided to put my script on Halloween series forum I belong to. Hopefully it’ll work this time:
    http://www.ohmb.net/showthread.php?21436-Halloween-fan-film-remake-script

  • Palpatine

    If I directed it, Eiesberg and Stewert would not be in it. And I definitely wouldn’t have a murderer’s son as my writer.

  • instant relief

    The League of German Pothead Nazis begs to differ!

  • American Ultra is clearly the name of a brand of condom – “as used by U.S. Navy Seals.”

  • instant relief

    *gasp* You junkie!

  • Brack to the Future

    So it’s targeted at gay men, don’t beat around the pecker.

  • Brack to the Future

    What isn’t? You’ve got your poisons, your green cracks, your purple whatevers, strawberry this grape that, lemon huhs and lime highs. It’s a great time for morphology, folks! (Michael Pollan must be having a field day.)

  • TapewormBike

    Finally. Gimme till tommorow, I’ll give you some feedback.

  • Brack to the Future

    Hey if I had five hours to spare I’d fly to Custer, SD, and watch a Family Guy episode with my old pal Spivey.

  • Cynical Optimist

    Can’t wait to see Mark Zuckerberg take on Superman and Ben Affleck.

  • Like Icare

    Google tells me that there is an “MK Ultra” (as in it tosses you out of the window) strain, but all it apparently knows about “American Ultra” as a strain is that they were giving away pot at Comic Con as promotion for this movie – and they called that strain “American Ultra”.

  • Like Icare

    Ending is very Christmasy, with snow and family ties and hypnosis and stuff.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I think because if you say it real fast it kinda sounds like “MK Ultra”.

  • Palpatine

    So I just watched Mad Max: Fury Road. All I got to say is wow, what an awesome film.

  • Red Skeleton

    I mean, even the name “America Ultra” just sounds bland. Throw in Kristen Stewart and Mark Zubkerberg and no wonder noone went to see this.

  • Kirke

    Still the best film I’ve seen this year and unless Star Wars comes with a naked Chris Hemsworth with every ticket, I don’t think is in trouble to take the crown.

  • Palpatine

    I agree. Ironically that only problem I had with the movie was Max himself. He didn’t do much outside of drive and shoot.

  • TapewormBike

    That’s like, every Mad Max film. He’s just a way into the crazy fucking world.

  • Palpatine

    I loved Furiosa though.

  • TapewormBike

    Talk about badass

  • Bubs

    When I was in highschool, a friend of mine wrote a space opera and gave me the script to read. It was like 100+ pages. It sat in my binder for like a month, I then read three pages and told him it sucked. Your script is better than his, but I’m no good at reading scripts. I can’t picture the movie in my head. Still, I’m pullin’ for ya, Palpy.

  • Like Icare

    Maybe if you pronounce K in MK as Kah or Kaa… Like a German or someone speaking a Slavic language.

    Maybe that explains why Stephen King loved it?
    https://twitter.com/stephenking/status/637216617072603136

  • TapewormBike

    Take this as an intended compliment – it felt like somethng written in the 70s. I also loved the Carpenter “cameo”.

  • Like Icare

    I was recently told that it sucks and that it should have been called “Mad Marry”.
    I was like “Whaaaaa…?”

    True story.

  • Palpatine

    What was up with that little girl that Max kept having visions of?

  • TapewormBike

    She’s in the comics I think

  • TapewormBike

    Was our friend alcohol present?

  • Like Icare

    Nope. Just coffee.

  • Brack to the Future

    My pal Spivey and I have a little rivalry. We both raise laying birds. So I stored up a whole big zip-loc full of fingernails, and when I visited him I fed those nails, day by day, to his birds.

    “Man,” he eggs-claimed after a few days, “these things’re dadgum hard to crack!” And I’d just smile.

    Does that make him a cannibal?

  • Palpatine

    There’s a comic? Do I have to read it to understand what went on in the movie?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    cuz women ruined Mad Max get it?

  • Brack to the Future

    Awesome in terms of spectacle, failure, or both?

  • TapewormBike

    Nah. I read shit ton of comics and was just fine without it.

  • Like Icare

    It might make you a lunatic… But I’m not a trained mental health professional.
    I just pretend to be one from time to time, around supermarkets and such.

  • TapewormBike

    I mean, the things seem totally cool at the start, don’t see why the bald chick had to ruin the party.

  • Brack to the Future

    I do enjoy Earth’s natural satellite. Why is that important?

  • Kirke

    The comics is notoriously awful

  • Palpatine

    Uh, spectacle of course.

  • TapewormBike

    It’s a trap!

  • Brack to the Future

    I see!

    (get it, spectacle?!)

  • Brack to the Future

    Yeah my traps are like the jokes on Laffy Taffy wrappers. Mild, with a sweet whiff of toluene.

  • Palpatine

    Now I’m looking for someone to direct it for me. Not a Hollywood filmmaker, but someone who makes fan films.

  • Palpatine

    It’s cool.

  • TapewormBike

    That’s gonna take way more posting on forums. That’s a big fucking job, 120 pages of a script. If I were you, I’d take the first part – Michael as a kid – punch it up and look for a creepy boy. That way you could get like 20 – 25 minutes long, cool fan film.

  • Like Icare

    Cause Moonies produced Inchon.

    It’s a movie which makes Ishtar look like… Well like a much better movie.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrkJgCMF81E&list=PLF1715566F6C52523&index=6

    Yes. That IS Baron Olivier.

  • TapewormBike

    I gave a girl my short story to read in highschool. She thought it was shit and I was with her ever since.

  • Brack to the Future

    If you won’t hire an editor

    I would invest in a script-writing program, then create a robot script editor linked to your disqus feed. All do-able with open-source software.

    Your dialog will benefit from “real” natural phrasing inserted by a robotic editor.

    You seem too “caught” in the edit presented.

  • Palpatine

    I didn’t want to make him a creepy kid, I wanted him to be a normal one who just snaps one day and starts killing.

  • Brack to the Future

    The little girl was Max’s former self, orchidectomized and exposed by his ex-wife!

  • TapewormBike

    I get that, I meant the way normal kids are fucking creepy. Seriously though, yes, and he gets to be creepy just by knowing that he’s Michael Myers, just that he’d have to have some actual chops for the killing part.

  • Palpatine

    The script is already complete though.

  • TapewormBike

    That’s what every screenwriter likes to think before other people get involved.

  • Brack to the Future

    I like Ishtar. It’s a movie that helps me express how bad The Graduate is.

    I give Beatty a pass on how hot Annette Bening is in The Grifters. That sex will melt your face.

  • Palpatine

    I hope you’re right about that.

  • TapewormBike

    For a fan film, that’d be a part I would love to see, in your style, since Zombie just went full Zombie on it.

  • Palpatine

    I don’t mean to sound rude, but I’m just asking what you guys think about it.

  • Palpatine

    It’s basically the opposite of the Zombie one.

  • TapewormBike

    I didn’t mean us, too. Just that when you actually move on to making any of it, trust me, it will change. It always does. I had freaking 5 minute sketches torn apart from their “perfection” by a dude dealing out props.

  • Brack to the Future

    In other words, a former reporter on the fringe of a killing spree?*

    *too soon?

  • TapewormBike

    Was that an offer?

  • Palpatine

    Exactly.

  • Wolvy

    Amazon Women on the Moon

  • Like Icare

    This documentary illustrates that very adequately.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KNyf9ExMxQ

  • Brack to the Future

    I’m being silly, but please be careful.

  • Like Icare

    Say what you want about Ishtar, at least it was not made by cultists.

  • Palpatine

    It depends on who you work with to get it made. Someone who loves horror films and loves making horror fan films seems like the best person to work with.

  • Brack to the Future

    Her push-ups in Prometheus ruined the whole film.

  • TapewormBike

    If only Elba wasn’t so distracted.

  • TapewormBike

    For sure. Keep us posted, good luck.

  • Brack to the Future

    A guy like that with a squeezebox?! From the future? What are the odds, right?

    Fassbender brings me back almost every month. Wonderful. Softer than sublime.

  • Like Icare

    Not as often as I’d like to.

  • RLMkeepitup

    “its Halloween, everyone deserves one good scare” – glad the best non Loomis line survived the cut

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s way better on the big screen.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Kristen Stewart should just stop doing what she does.

  • Brack to the Future

    Remember in Unforgiven, the first outhouse door the Scofield Kid threw open? Same talent agency as Ms Stewart’s. Now that was a career-making role!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That Ape in Congo is a better actor than Stewart.

  • Brack to the Future

    Hey now, Tim Curry has been through enough without being called names.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No I mean the sesame cake guy.

  • Palpatine

    That’s pretty racist.

  • George Lucas wrote that part. Just ignore it. The movie works just fine.

  • Palpatine

    Vic Morrow’s charred corpse after he got killed by Max Landis’ father is a better actor than her.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Tim Curry has pretty white in that movie.

  • She is dying at the boxofice. The movies she starres in have a smaller and smaller budgets, she’ll quit and do something else soon. Even Randy Quaid makes more money that her, put that in your Canadian maple syrup and smoke it.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Amy mountain gorilla. Amy good gorilla. Amy, touch. Touch Amy.

  • Brack to the Future

    According to her Edward Jones account, however, during the recent “correction” she’s worth in retirement something close to $111 million. Now that’s long green.

  • John Bigbootay

    I’ve always loved that movie. Don’t care how disjointed it might be. Excellent soundtrack as well. But yeah, I’d love to see that longer cut.

  • WAIT WHAT! Hold on.
    *dials numer*
    Yea hi. This is *bleep bleep* the guy who played Boss Nass in the prequels. Yea, haha exactly. The toad himself. So ehm. You got any plans tonight? NO! What a coinkydink. Neither do I. You know. We could just go out and grab a burger. Yes? O’all right I’m totally up for that.
    *hangs up*
    I, uhm. I got laundry and my mother is I’ll so I have to go now, bai!

  • pete smith

    4/5 max. Good action but would still watch mad max 2 before it.

  • Brack to the Future

    I’m not making that up. She tweeted it before the downturn. She’s richer than Michele Obama’s farts.

  • Mark Bisone

    I assume Dommartin had this cut screened for her way back then, since Wenders was still banging her on a regular basis. Still, I wish she had lived to see the film released. It really does rescue her performance IMO. Unfortunately, William Hurt still remains 100% William Hurt-y for the entire duration.

  • pete smith

    yeah those “powerful female characters” were totally unnecessary non convincing. In real post apocalyptic world they would be all killed and raped or working as sex slaves. Just sayin’ that kinda happens in every war in human history naturally.

  • Brack to the Future

    Oh that’s so hot/discouraging I don’t know whether to hang my head or jerk my florg. Well, here’s to hoping I don’t get it in my eye this time.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Jesse Eisenberg at least he choose to be in Batman v Superman which will make over a billion dollars worldwide. Stewart is in big box office hits like….American Ultra….

  • Brack to the Future

    Meanwhile Tom Hardy drives a car in England and it’s a way better film, yet receives no acclaim because American Idiot can’t get it. Locke.

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    oh my god the director’s Persian? I’m so sorry.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m talking about money. Tom Hardy was in Inception, he knows what to do. So does Eisenberg. Stewart does not.

  • Alot of good directors stem from that area.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6OoZNdAQuA

  • Brack to the Future

    I think you’ve illustrated my point. Big stars are made by small novas. Be careful what you wish for, Kristen might become Meryl Streep.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Finding Nima….hanging from the rafters of his basement.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Kristen Stewart=Meryl Streep? That’s like saying that Divergent girl is going to be Jennifer Lawrence.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Just a rip of off Tommy Wong in “Low Blow”

  • Brack to the Future

    Is that Vicki Lawrence’s daughter? I love the Carol Burnett Show.

    But yeah, Kristen Stewart will soon be America’s Sweetheart, surpassing even Sandra Bullock in Target store brand awareness.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    We’re gonna have to cast Max Landis in The RedLetterStory

  • pete smith

    can some of you with great knowledge of comics explain why they throw these two in same movie? Isn’t superman basically immortal and in case he fucks up, he just flies around the world so fast that earth starts rotating backwards and apparently causes time to go backwards, so he can sort out any mishap he didn’t had time. (at least something like that happened in one of those terrible movies). And batman is like regular rich dude with all sort of cool ass gadgets on his belt? Sounds like predictable mismatch to me.

  • Palpatine

    The ghost of Vic Morrow.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Thor fought Iron Man on screen and you’re not questioning that?

  • Brack to the Future

    Nobody wants to talk about how hot Annette Bening is in The Grifters? She was totally naked, 50-something and completely outrageously smokingly cupcake-like hot.

    I
    saw it in the theater. Everybody started fucking everything around them
    it was so hot. They had to pause the movie because some guy was fucking
    the projection aperture. Grand Rapids, MI, Cascade Cinemas. Buncha
    freaks.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well that’s rude.

  • Palpatine

    I can speak to the dead, and Vic said he would love to play the son of the guy who killed him.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’ll see that when pigs fly.

  • pete smith

    I thought iron man was some wwe wrestler and didn’t know thor was a comic figure as well. Im getting my coat.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Like the Suckth Sense.

  • Palpatine

    Who do you have in mind to play him?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Landis or Morrow?

  • Palpatine

    Landis. Morrow isn’t in it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh. I was thinking Kylo Ren himself Adam Driver.

  • Palpatine

    Why not Jaden Smith? Both him and Landis are spoiled Hollywood brats.

  • Doctor John Smith

    White Darth Vader killed his wife and kid before the nuclear war. its the thing that drove him mad.
    *Max Max. (1979)

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Max, this is for you

    http://i.imgur.com/44Zfc2K.png

  • RLMkeepitup

    the game version just came out, looks like something Rich would even get into

  • Noah R.

    I can’t name a movie I’ve seen with Jesse Eisenberg other than Zombieland off the top of my head. What the hell is he good at and what roles do people hire him for?

  • instant relief

    Adventureland was pretty sweet.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Mark Zuckerberg in The Social Network. And yes I kinda like his evil Elon Musk thing he’s doing for Lex Luthor.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Double was quite good. He’s good in smaller movies.

  • instant relief

    Yup. I enjoyed his performance in Night Moves.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What about Night Falls with Robert De Niro and Al Pacino?

  • instant relief

    Excuséz moi?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That youtube show Movie Fights someone won an argument with a fake movie he came up with.

  • Brack to the Future

    I think the point I’ve been trying to make is “who?” and variously “who gives a shit?” WTF is this place?

  • Brack to the Future

    Really? Just imitate a dude who took over the world. Nice acting.

  • Ogrot

    Don’t you mean a thousand generations?

  • Kawaii as Fuck

    I remember reading some thing by Max Landis once where he was humble-bragging about losing his virginity when he was like 13 or 14 to some older girl in his bathroom.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Opinions are opinions. For example some people like Lena Dunham. I find her awful.

  • Palpatine

    In the film, he is a member of the Fraternity of America’s Greatest Screenwriters, or F.A.G.S. for short. They are a league of terrible screenwriters who think they’re good and seek to destroy the RLM gang. Their leader, of course, is George Lucas.

  • Alex Lee

    He should know looking at Playboy doesn’t count.

  • Brack to the Future

    I sound like a guy screaming from his porch “what’s a lena dunham?”

    Aren’t we here to talk about what the kids call memes? I like kitty posters on the interweb, sonny.

  • Mark Bisone

    Don’t know much about comics, but in Donner’s ’78 classic “Superman”, I always assumed that the Earth rotating backwards was a point-of-view relativity thing, along the line of Einstein’s early analogies. Superman was flying so fast that he traveled back in time, so to us (the neutral observer) events would appear to be moving in reverse relative to the the flying man.

    As for the mismatch, I think the same Donner film proved that any asshole with a lump of kryptonite can beat the fuck out of Superman. The problem is getting it (or making it in a lab), which would seem to be regular rich dude and/or evil-genius territory. Maybe that’s the route they’re going?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well shit now M. Night Shyamalan needs to be cast. So does Josh Trank. EDIT: Team America did it.

  • Palpatine

    How about Irrfan Khan as Shyamalan?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Give me a Trank.

  • Ogrot

    To be honest his tweets have come dangerously close to, “the production crew, actors, and director ruined my magnificently original script.” If his agent gave a fuck about him he’d have called him up by now and told him to get off twitter and cry about it into the bottom of a shot glass in his own private home with some good friends. It is not good for your career to be seen as the guy that turns on the rest of the crew pointing fingers when the stench of failure takes the air. It makes people think you won’t be willing to stick things out when things get tough, or, worse, you’ll put a knife in their back when it seems convenient. Movies are inherently collaborative projects. You succeed together and you fail together. If you constantly throw former coworkers under the bus no one will want to work with you.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Here’s Shyamalan

    http://i.imgur.com/ZHTHeGr.png

  • Palpatine

    Wow, that’s a better choice than mine.

  • The Ghost

    *Scrolls down*

    *Sees someone already made American Flatulators reference*

    … NOW what do I have to wait for…

  • instant relief

    I watched the episode and forgot about it. D’oh!

  • instant relief

    Playboy? Is that like a Pokémon machine?

  • instant relief

    He was awesome in Citizen Kane.

  • fred

    He’s not THAT old.

  • Niccageshair

    But is he a Prince of Persia?

  • Niccageshair

    Congo is a wonderful train-wreck. It’s so off the rails it’s great.

  • Niccageshair

    Basically the visions are of all the people he indirectly let die in the previous movies. They are loose references as you really don’t need to see the other one to get it, just that he’s haunted by shit.

  • tOmy`

    Come to think of it, if you wanna see a glorified stoner movie that has both comedy and dark violent stuff, there is always Pineapple Express and Observe & Report.

  • Like Icare

    Yeah… L’odeur du rectum seems to be all around him.

  • Like Icare

    He’s much too big for that role.
    They will have to Gimli him down, like they did with John Rhys-Davies.

  • Beckoning Chasm

    Humor plus violence, plus an action scene in a supermarket = Hot Fuzz.

  • Jay Stein

    The game is…”mediocre!”

  • Niccageshair

    So stick with Kerbal Space Program?

  • Jay Stein

    Quit #Fraudshaming Max Landis. Your microaggression is palpable (Plapatine)

  • Beckoning Chasm

    Ha ha, no honestly, I’m not actually a platypus.

  • Jay Stein

    He’s good at not being Michael Cera

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    He’s really good in THE DOUBLE. And, honestly, he’s hired to lend an air of fa-fa-fa to pictures which can’t rely on Chris Pratt’s populist charm and shouldn’t have to. In other words, he appeals to other sensibilities.

    My theory is everything’s better with Christophers Pratt and Evans, but other dummies seem to want some sort of different modulation. Who knows why?

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    Well, they’re the biggest icons comics have to offer. Makes more sense to put them together than Iron Man and the Hulk.

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    That’s like saying Jennifer Lawrence is going to be anything.

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    That’s just not true. Quit making shit up. Randy Quaid doesn’t even make enough to afford clean underwear.

  • Like Icare

    The Big Lebowski gets pretty dark and violent.

    As for Pineapples and Reports…
    If I were a praying man, Seth Rogen’s death would be on my list of things I’d spin the wheel for.
    Gotta love them Buddhists man, simplifying the whole thing.

  • Plan9_of_the_Apes

    What were you watching between May and now that you think was better and should’ve taken precedence?

  • Palpatine

    Landis deserves to be shamed because his father is a psychopathic killer.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “SHUT UP! I’m original! RedLetterMedia sucks”
    -Max Landis

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I forgot I made this poster mocking Boyhood

    http://i.imgur.com/IFXOL6h.png

  • Palpatine

    I was watching paint dry.

  • Niccageshair

    Seth Rogen is responsible for a trend in comedy that I hate. Undercutting a joke/situation by directly stating what is happening, I hate it so much. It kills any tension/momentum in a scene.

  • Thanatos2k

    Uh, the creator’s family is not the creator. They might well have their own bad direction to impart.

  • Palpatine

    I love how you credited Chris Chan as a retard.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well what else is he then?

  • Palpatine

    A guy who needs to move out of his mothers house.

  • Palpatine

    And as we know, original ideas are always good! Blockbuster movies suck!

  • Thanatos2k

    Or because it’s nothing but 8 seconds of music looped over and over.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    But he doesn’t so he’s a retard.

  • Captain Turbo

    Slightly aspergers-y loner seems to be his wheelhouse.

  • Captain Turbo

    Pretty sweet on K-stew’s ass. Did it show her ass? I’m not sure. Actually, does she have a good body at all?

  • Domo

    “You got classical music, and you got rock’n’roll. Both are good in their own way.”

    –Some hack fraud on the Internet

  • Captain Turbo

    Liar. Annette Bening was 72 years old when she filmed The Grifters.

  • Captain Turbo

    Hope Maxie doesn’t get too close to any helicopters.

  • Captain Turbo

    I dated a Persian girl once. Turns out she was just Iranian.

  • Captain Turbo

    We all saw Mad Max, thank you!

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    No, hie problem is that he actually does belong in a mental asylum, but for some reason he is left out in public even tho he is a deeply, deeply troubled person.

  • Captain Turbo

    I thought Boyhood was self-mocking.

  • Captain Turbo

    So is American Ultra not the sequel to Age of Ultron? Because if it ain’t, someone missed a huuuuge marketing opportunity.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    American Ultron? A story about a robot AI created by the CIGay then turned into a sleeper, who is then marked for death?

    I’m original too coach, put me on the team, I can write the moopies too!

  • Captain Turbo

    You’re hired! I award you one Hollywood!

  • Palpatine

    What HitB episode is that from?

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    I want a raise. Give me a Bollywood, at least they are not rebooting Spider Man.

  • RLMkeepitup

    being original is great but it doesn’t make it interesting. that’s why Mike added the plinkett voice to his reviews

  • Alex

    Mike Landis reading Twitter tweets is the funniest thing, spilled a drink on this one.

  • Domo

    Oh! The second part of the Star Trek, The Star Trek review. I forgot you don’t like watching those reviews as much. Sorry!

  • LameSame

    It’s not a “sequel”, per se, but it does tie in. They don’t drop that “Marvel Universe” bomb until after American Ultra’s credits, though, which means nobody ever saw it because oh-good-the-movie-is-over-so-let’s-get-the-fuck-out-of-here.

  • Alex

    I’m not into Wenders films, but this sounds like a great idea. What I like about it is that the director is editing and shaping the final film while his vision is still fresh, rather than 2 decades later when the sensibilites and tastes of the director changed for good or worse.

  • Mike Magnum

    I was wondering. Anyone think the Fantastic Four Movie would have been better if it looked like this.

    oi58.tinypic.com/vnkmyd.jpg

  • So uh… you two are stoned and used Visine in this episode, right? Cuz, that’s my theory. You’re obviously in a different “mood” than usual, you’re reviewing a “stoner” film, you kept messing with your eyes in the beginning, and those eyes are very clear, ie. not red. So that’s my theory. I’m right. I know I’m right. And you’re a bunch of DRUG USERS!!! WINNERS DON’T DO DRUGS! STOP DRUGGING AND TAKING DRUGS!!! I’ll be over momentarily to take all your drugs.

  • RLMkeepitup

    like zoinks no way dude

  • Teen Palpatine

    Tune in next week for the continuing adventures of Mr. Plinkett in: Escape From Which Mountain!

  • its called bleach

    i thought it was a mk ultra reference so if the plot references mind control in some way it makes sense. fuck putting the word america in your title tho. id watch this movie if the action scenes didnt look awful

  • McDuck

    Oh god, this HITB made me watch the trailer for Max the dog movie and I cried. I’m a sucker for manipulative dog movies. I’M PART OF THE PROBLEM!! I’M WHY THEY KEEP SHITTING THEM OUT!!

  • LameSame

    Hope you have a good time at Plinkett’s cold and inconveniently-located home, YOU ASSHOLES! YOU ARE DOOMED TO THIS FARCICAL PURGATORY FOREVER, MOTHERFUCKERS! FATE WILL ALWAYS RETURN YOU THERE. HAHAHAHA

    Excited to see what you review next.

  • LameSame

    I wonder if they make porn for dogs.

  • Teen Palpatine

    Doggie Cam all showin’ a man with a pillow on his lap. All subliminal messages gettin’ your dog horny.

  • bleurgh

    So I bought the Mad Max anthology the other day and watched Beyond Thunderdome which was the only instalment that I hadn’t seen. It’s a great movie. The concepts of Bartertown and the Thunderdome were great, the tone was satisfyingly creepy and grotesque, the story which was tight and original enough to keep me wondering about what was going to happen next even though it wasn’t that complicated and I didn’t even mind the tribe of lost children that everyone bitches about for some reason. There were a few things that bothered me though. For example, why did Tina Turner not try to kill Max or at least capture him after pursuing him for that very reason, kind of made her look like a weak leader in front of her people. Also confused as to whether I was supposed to be happy about the kids and the pilot ending up in the ruined city, which seemed like a huge step down compared to where they came from. Additionally I was confused about Turners actual position in Bartertown. If Master Blaster really controls the city then why does he keep Turner around and why does he obey her legal rulings? Is he really just that stupid when it comes to politics? Surely if there needs to be a seperation between the metahane production and the judicial system then it would be better for him to knock Turner off and impose a puppet of his own.

  • Galactic Shawn

    I also liked Kristen Stewart in Star Wars Episode 2 when she played Anakin.

  • TapewormBike

    Seriously? He’s always Zuckerberg for me.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    But which mountain? There’s more than one.

  • Doctor John Smith

    google it. i dare you.

  • TapewormBike

    It’s pretty ruff

  • Red Skeleton

    Not relevant in the slightest and probably old, but still awesome.

    http://31.media.tumblr.com/6d7be1015783802ad93fa683531be5ed/tumblr_np134xYirH1qfzcnbo1_400.gif

  • TapewormBike

    Seen it, did it in the office. Still awesome

  • Red Skeleton

    Also not relevant and old, but equally awesome.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLXTDirrQ5w

    Lol, that guy’s name is “Jim”. Like “Jimmy Hat.”

  • Red Skeleton

    “I don’t like wolf hair. It’s coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere…”

  • @Palpatine did you clone yourself again? I think one of the spares ran away from the cloning chamber.

  • Like Icare

    And those bitches they get for those movies… Damn! They are all dogs.

    And what’s the deal with all those auto-fellatio and self-rimming scenes?
    Get a grip people! Just because you CAN do it doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLyQq_-WbXQ

  • tOmy`

    It’s really weird but even the colorful make-up and styling doesn’t make Kirsten look more alive than she was in Twilight movies.

  • Like Icare

    Fantastic Fur?

  • Red Skeleton
  • tOmy`

    Awwwwww. Also: Is that a Twin Peaks jacket?

  • Red Skeleton

    Note: Thomas died fell asleep on the way back home.

  • Red Skeleton

    … What? How do you get Twin Peaks from that? (It’s an alligator one on my son, by the way)

  • tOmy`

    I don’t know why, but the motif on the pocket reminds me of Twin Peaks logo. Try to rip both pockets off, glue the motifs together and if they create an owl symbol… well, you ruined his jacket.

  • tOmy`

    Speaking of Twin Peaks: That Bourne reboot / sequel is apparently happening (Matt Damon & Vincent Cassel confirmed).
    And speaking of Bourne: North Bend is being remodeled to Twin Peaks again! It’s happening! It’s happening agaaaaaaaain!

  • tOmy`

    Can’t say I am a big fan of Seth, I just mostly don’t care about him. But I found these two movies pretty good (for what they are, obviously). There is a lot of good stuff in Pineapple and Observe has such a weird, out of place dark vibe that really stands out in comedy such as this.

  • Like Icare

    Someone on the internet compared him to a “Pauly Shore of this generation”.
    I wouldn’t go that far. That’s closer to Dane Cook.

    Rogen is more like…
    If you take Will Ferrel, surgically remove sense of surrealism and intelligence needed to create such humor, add weight and Kevin Smith-level fascination with dicks (as in penises, not detectives), and then channel all that passive-aggressive air in the scene into “jokes” which boil down to “pot is funny”, “slacking is funny”, “being a slob is funny”, “lazy is funny”, “manchild is funny”…

    Wow… It’s almost like all his “humor” is just stereotypical representations of laziness. And dick jokes.

  • TapewormBike

    David Lynch-themed baby clothes? Man, I feel I need to somehow make this true to be the best uncle.

  • Red Skeleton
  • Like Icare

    Just dress them up as rabbits.

  • Who are these midgets?
    *someone whispering in the background*
    Oh! Those are kids!

    END SCENE

    I’ll show myself out.

  • But it looks sooo haaapyyyy.

  • bleurgh

    Wow, Max Landis is a grade A douche. Please help me troll him on twitter.

  • Palpatine

    Tell him that his father is a murderer.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    He’s there to make a heroic sacrifice so the other characters with actual dialog can escape/survive. And the main villains sort of just kill themselves somehow.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Jay liked it, Mike thought it was “blue with people in it” either way, they didn’t hate it, and they didn’t really hate this. The review was summed up perfectly by Jay

    “American Ultra what the fuck is that? Jesse Eisenberg? Meh. Kirstie Stewart? Nope.”

    That’s what everyone who saw the trailer thought. It’s as if this movie was written for five years ago James Franco.

  • Like Icare

    O&R stands out cause it is not “really” a comedy but a side-glance into drama of deranged existence, with all roles acted by clowns.
    We expect a comedy so it looks funny instead of gruesome, violent, tragic…

    Not quite the way Will Ferrell or Bill Murray create comedy even when they play it straight… cause there is comedy in their mannerisms.

    It’s closer to watching Scorsese’s (he makes the best movies) American Boy documentary on Steven Price (Easy Andy from Taxi Driver).
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duW5WhxKjQY

    And boy is he a funny guy. He has some funny stories. Like the one about the gorilla.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=5V9_T7Ct36A#t=298

    Or that story that Tarantino took for Pulp Fiction.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJX2qbgBGTw

    Or that story about that time he worked at a gas station.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L93nZBEYZGw

    And you go… hold on… this is not humor… it sounds funny… but not humorous. This is, this is… And where did that gun come from?
    Why does he have a gun on him when going for a night of shooting shit and lounging in hot tubs with Scorsese?
    You don’t need a gun to shoot shit. This is… this is bizarre.
    It’s like something out of a surrealist nightmare. Or like a product of a deranged mind or a mind detached from reality through heavy use of drugs. This guy’s life is not… sane…

    On a side note…
    Hill did consciously try to emulate Scorsese’s Travis Bickle for Rogen’s character of Ronnie in O&R.

  • Nice try, MAX LANDIS!

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Copy of “The Day the Clown Cried” sitting on the counter, that’s subtlety.

  • Like Icare
  • Hank_Henshaw

    I don’t know if a murderer (manslaughter more likely), but most certainly irresponsible. From everything I’ve read he had a horrible attitude after the accident, maybe a defense mechanism, but despicable nonetheless.

  • Adzl33t

    Yay that’s basically 50 cent crap, and other glam rap crap that’s nothing like the better rap stuff that you probably never heard of, because your not cool enough to find better and more obscure music

  • Palpatine

    He also violated child labor laws during the making of his segment of the film.

  • Adzl33t

    Try to listen better rap music not on Billboard top 100

  • Brack to the Future

    Huh? Reboot? Please please please please have Franka Potente in it.

  • Domo

    So that’s why the next Plinkett review is taking so long.

    They have to wait for Jerry Lewis to pass away in order to see the film they’re gonna review!

  • TapewormBike

    They have to wait till the Holocoast is clear.

    I hate myself for so many reasons.

  • Palpatine

    Oh, you Eurotrash commenters and your Holocaust jokes!

  • Domo

    Speaking of painful things to look at . . .

    How’s your GF’s back doing?

  • Niccageshair

    He didn’t violate them, he simply entered another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land where child labor laws are only the boundaries of his own imagination. His next stop? the Twilight Zone!

  • TapewormBike

    You might have noticed me being on here a bit more – that’s because she can’t move much and shoo me away. Seriously though, she got some injections and got prescrbed physical therapy, but it’s going slow.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    you ain’t here often enough bby

  • TapewormBike

    Pimpin’ ain’t easy

  • Domo

    Man, that comment is like a facebook comment. I want to like it, but then it comes across that I’m liking her pain.

    To Hell with it. Gonna live dangerously. Hope she gets better sooner rather than later!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    #thug life

  • TapewormBike

    You pain leech! Or whatever it would be called.

  • Domo

    *Sympin’ = begging for love.

    Fixed that for you!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBLAdreSgWU

  • tOmy`

    So Sutter (the man behind such masterpieces as Sons of Anarchy and that one scene in The Shield) finally spoke about his new project The Bastard Executioner which was pretty much promoted as ghotic torture porn: “In the end, it all boils down to the same thing [as Game of Thrones]: Great storytelling, characters you care about, and killing people in artful and original ways,” he says.

    Cannot fucking wait.

  • Palpatine

    But it’s a period piece! And it’s bloody, too!

  • TapewormBike

    You should read some motherfucking Jason Aaron comic. I promise you would like it.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    you’re the guy who keeps shitting on SoA and now you say you can’t wait for this? messa confused.

  • TapewormBike

    I say that to my brain before sleeping.

  • TapewormBike

    I mean, he IS a prick

  • tOmy`

    That was irony. I am on the hate-watch since it was announced.

    It’s gonna be great.

  • tOmy`

    As long as it is an incoherent mess about nothing at all punctuated by 13gb of redneck soundtrack, I am game.

  • TapewormBike

    I heard his series Scalped compared to The Wire

  • Niccageshair

    What’s this one scene from The Shield?

  • tOmy`

    He was generally responsible for the brutal stuff in The Shield as far as I remember.

    But people usually refer to him as being behind the grenade scene.

  • Brack to the Future

    I would chase that Lola ’round the moons of Nibia and ’round the Antares maelstrom and around perdition’s flames before I give her up.

  • Brack to the Future

    You mean like Michael Chiklis’s sideboard abs? Because those jiggly things were truly frightening.

  • Niccageshair

    Never watched the show but I know it influenced a lot of things on TV. Nothing Sutter does seems interesting to me. I can’t place why that is but when I see things like Sons, The Shield, That Southpaw movie I’m just kinda like whatever.

  • Brack to the Future

    Couldn’t get into The Wire, I know you weren’t speaking to me. I like the lead, he’s in Hannibal Rising, but it still couldn’t do anything for me.

  • TapewormBike

    I loved The Wire, but Scalped I liked way better. It’s not really comparable anyway.

  • Brack to the Future

    Critically acclaimed? Lakota? Organized crime? Why aren’t we funding this?!

  • tOmy`

    I think that Shield was fucking awesome especially considering the gritty realistic brutality on par with the bests out there. The thing is that Sutter is credited for exactly one episode as a director and 19 as a writer – he was there just to spice things up with some brutality, when and if needed.

    This horribly backfired with SoA when they gave him a free reign to do whatever-the-fuck he wants after 3 or 4 seasons and the show took a nose dive to the Prequels territory.

  • TapewormBike

    It’s awesome. Now he’s doing something called Southern Bastards, which is great, but seriously noone is not a completely despicable character. Also Star Wars comic.

  • Brack to the Future

    *Two Kids’ Ruined Lives Zone

    Man I’d hate to have been their therapist.

  • Niccageshair

    Well his next stop should’ve been jail but I’ll settle for the twilight zone. Especially if it’s the one where the two astronauts find the colony of microscopic people. Great episode that one.

  • Brack to the Future

    “Anyways, this is At the Moulin Rouge by Toulouse-Lautrec. Uh, it’s from the 1890s. Now, he was a midge, but he painted like a normal.” ~ Sir Dennis of Farina

  • Niccageshair

    Show writers/runners really need to know when to shut it down and move on. You see it all the time, when the ideas run out strange shit happens.

  • Brack to the Future

    In my native tongue it’s called a “wife.”

  • TapewormBike

    Yeah, Domo, you’re such a wife! Goad.

  • Brack to the Future

    I’ve never seen that one. Personally I’d like to see him in some sort of real-life Stephen King “Battleground” adaptation. Toys rise up and attack a hitman. Number One Idea Gal sends in the nuke and …

  • Brack to the Future

    So my ole pal Spivey sends me a text this morning with a video of an uncrackable egg. Then he proceeds to drop a dozen off his roof and they land on the concrete, almost all uninjured. Boy I hope he doesn’t find out about the fingernails I fed his hens. That’s some good collagen.

  • tOmy`

    Oh, look, the new surprise album by Miley Cyrus is out. And it has 23 tracks; 92 minutes. Let’s check out who was helping her, shall we?

    Phantogram, Ariel Pink, StarDeath and White Dwarfs and Flaming Lips. Wait… what? I think we tolerated this for a long time now, there is a massive intervention needed for these people.

  • Brack to the Future

    I don’t know, Black Umbrella is pretty hot. Like, hot. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ii5IUihNuno

  • Niccageshair

    She is apparently a huge flaming lips fan and has done stuff with them before. I don’t know how or why I know this and it ashames me that I do.

  • Galactic Shawn

    Miley Cyrus, Flaming Lips? Sounds about right.

  • tOmy`

    Oh yea, she did. She sang on two songs from their Sgt. Pepper’s cover album and it is far from bad. And I presume that’s how this particular colab got created – Phantogram was also present on that album and StarDeath and White Dwarfs have both family and musical ties with Lips. And, speaking of, Lips also recruited Ke$ha, so we can allow anything by this point.

    But producing albums for her? I mean that is… come on.

  • Niccageshair

    Producing albums? Cue Ginger Rogers *We’re in the money!*

  • tOmy`

    Well, at least in their case they gonna spend it on divorces and heroin. Way to go, Wayne, way to go.

  • tOmy`

    “3 seasons and out” should be the first rule for 99% of TV shows ever created.

  • tOmy`

    I am gonna be honest, I never heard any other song than Wrecking Ball. And maybe this one in original. So I am judging her without any facts to back me up.

    Then again, as I mentioned, she really did sell me on A Day In The Life cover: https://youtu.be/HylQnl63IbA?t=2m30s

  • Hey, producing albums is still better than what Linkin Park is doing.

  • tOmy`

    Hey now, they are capturing the zeitgeist of our generation. They cannot help it if the zeitgeist of our generation is shit. I mean even fucking Morello couldn’t help them:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mW7ZAORsQ8

    Jesus, this gets worse every time I hear it.

  • Brack to the Future

    More like “Massive Overbite Due To Inbreeding.” But we still love her for all the lulz.

  • tOmy`

    Ironically, that would be a great title for Flaming Lips song.

  • Palpatine

    You got to love this amazing artwork for the re-release of the Star Wars Saga on Blu-Ray:
    http://m.imgur.com/yas7Beb

  • Niccageshair

    They really took their time and thought about it.

  • Brack to the Future

    Ha Tangerine-burn!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    as in no time at all?

  • Palpatine

    Just goes to show how lazy Lucasfilm is with the home media releases of these films.

  • Niccageshair

    I assumed this took at least 1000+ manhours. This is probably what drove Trank nuts.

  • Niccageshair

    At this point people are lucky that the blu-rays don’t come with Turkish Star Wars inside.

  • Palpatine

    And yet we will never get a release of the unaltered Original Trilogy on Blu-Ray.

  • Speaking of Turkish Star Wars… did we watch Turkish Rambo at the Ixnay on the amnhole-ey?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The RedLetterStory 2: The Phantom Fraud. Continuing the events of the first film and it’s characters we see a secret group of screen writers, the Fraternity of America’s Greatest Screenwriters or F.A.G.S., take down and destroy RedLetterMedia’s base of operations in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. This results in Mike having lost an eye, his left arm, have a horn of shrapnel in his head, and falls into a five year coma in which no Plinkett reviews have been made. Seeking revenge Mike must bring RedLetterMedia back together to stop F.A.G.S. before they unleash the ultimate hack fraud movie upon the world.

  • Palpatine

    Probably.

  • Trask

    That middlefinger on the stormtroopers chin seems appropriate.

  • Hey, that took a lot of man hours in the legal department. They googled them and DMCA-ed some poor deviantart illustrator. In exchange for dropping possible charges they were allowed to use those on the covers of the Blu-Ray releases.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    We did a better job with the RedLetterStory posters.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It should come with limited edition golden cardboard gloves.

  • Palpatine

    Slow down man, the script for the first one hasn’t been written yet!

  • Niccageshair

    Or a Nintendo power glove.

  • Palpatine

    And those were made in two minutes.

  • That didn’t stop the second director from starting filming.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I know, I’m writing it but that’s my idea for the sequel. The first one is like Eternal Sunshine mixed with a Coen Brothers film and the sequel is Mad Max mixed with Metal Gear.

  • Palpatine

    So you’re saying it’ll be like Alien 3?

  • Palpatine

    It’s so bad.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Please, it was one minute.

  • Hey, Alien 3 was watchable unlike Transformers.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Or stolen footage of Star Wars.

  • Palpatine

    Do the F.A.G.S. appear in the first one?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    F.A.G.S. is eluded to in the first one ala post credit scene. I have to put one in there by order of Kevin Feige my producer.

  • In a brief post-credits scene.

  • Palpatine

    Their base of operations is George’s treehouse. And there’s a sign on the door that says; “No gurlz aloud!”.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He goes by the codename Zero by his men, as in no one gives Zero fucks about the Prequels now because of The Force Awakens.

  • Palpatine

    And because he’s a zero as well.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    And he went from Hero to Zero.

  • Palpatine

    Are there any commenters who haven’t gotten posters made of them yet?

  • Alex Lee

    I guess. It sells like gangbusters.

  • tOmy`

    That bitch Olivia.

  • TapewormBike

    I am pretty sure I had some, just can’t remember it.

  • TapewormBike

    Hey now, you are talking about the love of my life!

  • Red Skeleton

    Me?

  • Like Icare

    Hey! That approach worked for Lucas!

  • Palpatine

    The spammers don’t deserve posters.

  • Like Icare

    Lucky? That movie would at least double the value of the set.
    Its shlock readings are off the scale.

  • tOmy`

    I think there was one for you, but I don’t have Sully’s link anymore.

    Anyone? It was on Instagram or something similarly cool.

  • Palpatine

    Oh God, I have to finish this script, they’re already building sets!

  • Like Icare

    Masturbation takes millions of manhours yearly too.
    Much like sportsball. In a way it IS sportsball. At least half of it is.
    The other half is more like waxing.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fULNUr0rvEc

  • TapewormBike

    Tinder?

  • Palpatine

    They’re on Tumblr.

  • Like Icare

    Great storytelling, characters you care about, and killing people in artful and original ways

    Anyone can make that at home. All one needs is a family, some poison and maybe some knives.

  • Like Icare

    Put a TM on it and you got yourself a hologram theme park.
    On the coast.

  • Like Icare

    I kept forgetting to ask that…

  • Like Icare

    Oh… So it’s like the opening of Small Amount of Comfort for Old Agents.
    A car chase while being pursued by F.A.G.S.

  • Brack to the Future

    I definitely have more than a few posters. Some of them are still holding homes together in Cahuenga.

  • Brack to the Future

    Daniel San, please to do it in a sock. Septic system is already cloggy-cloggy.

  • RLMkeepitup

    they all look like video games

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Don’t worry I have the first two on my legal pad already

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Who here has seen Turkish Star Wars besides me?

  • Just a few bits, I think. They mash up Star Wars with Star Trek, right?

  • Friendster.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No, they stole a bunch of footage and music from movies to make up their movie. A lot of the footage is from Star Wars and we call the film Turkish Star Wars.

  • Palpatine

    I tried watching it.

  • Watch Sorceress from 1982. It’s so bad it’s good.

  • Palpatine

    What’s it about and who’s in it?

  • About twins, or as the movie refers to them – “girl-children” who have to beat an evil sorcerer. Hilarity ensues. There is a quasi Planet of The Apes ape uprising, a horny goat man who gets cockblocked multiple times, orgasms by proxy and lots of unnecessary nudity.

  • Palpatine

    What other obscure so bad it’s good movies do you recommend?

  • Anything we watched at the Hole, really. Most of those movies are Cream-a-thon’s finds. I particularly liked
    -New Barbarians
    -World Gone Wild
    -Mega Force (just a few bits, it was mostly boring)

  • Palpatine

    I’m not that big a fan of post apocalyptic schlock films. I’m more into cheap horror films.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    But is it Ishtar?

  • Palpatine

    What do you think this is, the RLM Reddit?

  • Like Icare

    One of the best movie experiences ever.

    We got beers and an internet-found copy of the movie.
    We had to stop it several times so that we could catch our breath from laughter.
    It is an amazing artifact of culture clash, shlock, “special” effects and copyright infringement that never stops “giving” to the very end.
    We used “yok olacak sen” as a battle cry for a while after.

  • tOmy`

    Mega Force was dope as hell. Especially that twist at the end that nobody understood.

    My personal best of vote still goes to Rollergator tho.

  • tOmy`

    Then you would have loved Deathlist.

  • Palpatine

    Having watched it again, I kind of found it funny.

  • Like Icare

    You need to watch it in entirety, but not alone.
    Some parts simply must be paused and talked over with people you know.
    It’s closest thing I’ve seen to watching a movie made by aliens.

    And I’m not talkin Mexicans! Or Turks.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    If it was then there would be a ton more Ishtar jokes.

  • I missed that one, I didn’t understand the jokes everyone made.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The ending is amazing. He melts his gold cardboard sword down into a gold liquid, he dips his hands in it, and when he pulls them out he has magic gold gauntlets.

  • broncotruck11

    Me 🙁

  • Alex Lee
  • Are you taking a jab at Landis or at this comment zone? Both seem to apply.

  • broncotruck11

    Legal ipad you mean…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes

  • broncotruck11

    Do u guys think Jay and Mike will address the fact that max Landis got all whiney and went on a Twitter rant because of their review?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Strange how the dog looks like Max Landis as well.

  • broncotruck11

    The resemblance is uncanny

  • broncotruck11

    You fucking hack fraud!

  • Palpatine

    I hope so.

  • Brack to the Future

    I just vaccinated seven felines in a row. It took a little over an hour, and if I were a vet it’d make me something like $650. $650 an hour. Buncha jerks.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Both

  • Alex Lee

    No, because Jay and Mike are professionals.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Like Tay Zonday?

  • broncotruck11

    I thought they were hack frauds ?

  • Marvin Falz

    I think the real reason is procrastination. RLM uses every available ressource on producing HitB, BotW, Space Cop, some random stuff in between plus they spend hours of hours playing video games, they simply don’t have any time left for what people reaaally come here. Also Half-assed Badass will be released in winter, Jack is currently editing it.

  • Marvin Falz

    Me.

  • broncotruck11

    No like Nima Nourizadeh

  • broncotruck11

    The anticipation is killing me

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You mean Eloise Cole?

  • Palpatine

    Let’s just hope Max’s killer father doesn’t get involved.

  • tOmy`

    Suggestions for wedding dinner soundtrack? For some fucking reason, 2 hours of dubstep were vetoed.

  • broncotruck11

    Exactly like Eloise Cole

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Mad Max Fury Road soundtrack works well.

  • Palpy, you seem more obsessed about what his dad did than BDH.

  • broncotruck11

    Bdh?

  • Palpatine

    The guy with the flamethrower guitar should play at the wedding.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He also has a bunch of guys playing drums on the side on his car.

  • Hotline Miami OST. It has an occasional psychedelic rock track to break up the catchy electronic tunes.

  • Palpatine

    The truth shall be known someday!

  • Palpatine

    Bryce Dallas Howard.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Eloise didn’t die hanging from the rafters of her basement.

  • broncotruck11

    How many people did she kill?

  • Palpatine

    She didn’t die at all.

  • Earth

    Yeah, they can thank him for the free advertising.

  • Palpatine

    I laughed out loud when I saw that.

  • Palpatine

    She didn’t kill anyone.

  • broncotruck11

    ” Remember these guys are outside the industry”
    – max landis

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Miller broke the fourth wall there.

  • broncotruck11

    In thought she had killed at least 7 people , who did Landis kill?

  • Earth

    So…why does he care?

  • broncotruck11

    Exactly.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    This is a lie.

  • Marvin Falz

    Piano music? Classical music? Or, if your request for suggestions isn’t serious: every album by Cannibal Corpse.

  • Palpatine

    He killed Vic Morrow and two Asian kids on the set of Twilight Zone: The Movie. It was an accident, but I have my suspicions

  • tOmy`

    Cannibal Corpse, Mad Max soundtrack and “psychedelic track to break up the catchy electronic tunes”.

    I am very fond of this webzone.

  • broncotruck11

    I need some grief counseling if she did die….anybody got a copy of her tape?

  • Ogrot
  • broncotruck11

    Oh I forgot about that. Yeah the guy is totally involved with those deaths. Probably planned it with Eloise Cole.

  • Palpatine

    Then why was there a creepy looking clown lady standing across the street from my house?!

  • Like Icare

    Don’t forget the brain!

    Also, many people don’t realize that when they fight those “skeleton” guys, seen here holding swords:
    http://i0.wp.com/sinematikyesilcam.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/DKA-dunyayi-kurtaran-adam-007.jpg

    Those are supposed to be ACTUAL skeletons. The undead.
    It is supposed to be this:
    http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02556/harryhausen-jason_2556937b.jpg

    Someone should really do some actual psychological research into this movie, Star Wars and Power Rangers.
    Cause nearly every WTF moment in this movie is a product of obvious childlike understanding and grasp of reality.
    That movie is not some postmodernist art project – all that shit made sense to director, cast, crew…

    It belongs in a museum.

  • tOmy`

    You see, that is the problem with wedding dinners, older people just don’t have any appreciation for tracks like “Kick Out The Epic Motherfucker”, drops or anything that swapped the calming tones with calming noise.

  • Like Icare
  • tOmy`

    I want links and sources.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Maybe as a passing joke butt not the fart kind unless Rich is around.

  • Brack to the Future

    Do you like Russian stuff? I know it sounds pap, but the Leningrad Vladivostok station from Grand Theft Auto 4 is so great. I’d sprinkle it into the disco meex. If I could do it over my groom’s dance would be to Gruppa Krovi, on account of the joining of our blood and how beautiful the stars were that night.

  • Alex Lee

    That guy should get all the gigs.

  • Brack to the Future

    Oh now you did it. Those Colorados are so fucking head-splittingly awesome

  • Like Icare
  • Red Skeleton

    Oooh, that sounds familiar.

  • Like Icare

    Indeed they are.
    Though they are maybe a bit too polished now compared to their original breakthrough hit.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYNcbdwkHYg

  • Brack to the Future

    Oh God I love them even more. Take me to your hoam planet!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Yep, criminally irresponsible.

  • Like Icare

    I think they’re wonderful…

  • RLMkeepitup

    if stray animals were forced to get healthcare there’d be no need to vaccinate the ones whos owners can afford it and followed the proper adoption process

  • Like Icare
  • Like Icare

    Hey, Obama! Take it easy!
    Some animals are not interested in your pinko commie socialized healthcare. First amendment and stuff.

  • broncotruck11

    Finding Nima

  • Finding Nemoy.

    #2soon?

  • Like Icare

    HE’S DEAD JIM!

  • broncotruck11

    Oh my gawd……

  • Trask

    Vaccinated? You just gave those cats autism!

  • Like Icare

    Meowtism.

  • Palpatine
  • broncotruck11

    Footloose soundtrack.

  • instant relief

    Fascinating.

  • instant relief

    Finding a gun to shoot you.

    #notsoonenough

  • Palpatine

    You want to know something that really annoys me? Whenever George Lucas says the Star Wars movies are made for children.

  • instant relief

    They are for grown ups?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    As a non-fan, they are for all ages. There’s a difference. Well except those Star Wars movies that are for babies.

  • RLMkeepitup

    its likely an excuse for his writing.

  • Palpatine

    They, the Originals at least, are meant for people of all ages.

  • The Summer of George

    Hateful reviews are the best reviews.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    If Shakespeare wasn’t dead he could sue everybody, including Kurosawa.

  • Palpatine

    No, they’re not, they’re really not. No kid is going to be interested in the plot of The Phantom Menace.

  • Palpatine

    Tru dat.

  • Thanatos2k

    But the movie is about rap music that was in the Billboard top 100, so…..

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Yes, it was his way of placing the blame on the audience. It wasn’t so much that the movies were bad, but that the fanbase had outgrown the intended target demographic.

    Now, you know what’s funny? There are fans out there that would like to see an R-rated Star Wars movie. You know, because they are adults now. That’s about as wrongheaded as Lucas claiming the movies are for children. Certain movies should have never gone PG-13 (Die Hard, Robocop, Terminator, etc.), other movies should never be R (Batman, Star Wars, etc).

  • Thanatos2k

    And what kind of rap music is the movie about? Oh, right.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Little kids just zone out during the senate stuff, and go back to watching when the lizard-rabbit doofus steps on the poopy.

  • fred

    the Mall Blart Paul Blart 2 review is my personal favorite.

  • instant relief

    Put your penis away damn it.

  • Bob Borries

    Are you endorsing kitty death panels?

  • Captain Turbo

    Max seems like he’s as big a douche as his dad. Has he killed anyone yet?

  • Like Icare

    Movies should never be MADE INTO R or PG-13 if they are already conceived and made for some other rating. If they work, let them be.

    Original SW would probably get a harsher rating today on account that the rating system is way too arbitrary and meaningless.

    Both SW and Raiders of the Lost Ark are PG movies.

    Dark Knight could have been R if it just allowed blood in all the scenes where there was supposed to be blood.
    No need to exaggerate splatter or gore, just have people who get shot with holes and blood on them.
    It would not change the movie at all – but it would get a harsher rating.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    With foam around his mouth

  • Ogrot

    PG-13 didn’t exist as a rating at the time either of those movies were released (Raiders + SW). In fact Raiders and Gremlins combined to cause the uproar for PG-13 to be added to the MPAA ratings.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Pa Bla Mah Blall 2

  • Hank_Henshaw

    There are so many other ways he could’ve said the same thing, without coming off as a smug idiot:

    “Remember these guys are hack frauds.”
    “Remember these guys are from Milwaukee.”
    “Remember these guys are not Rich Evans.”
    “Remember these guys didn’t like Boyhood.”
    “Remember the last time these guys made a Plinkett review? Me neither.”

    and so on.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Let’s make a Happy Madison movie. We need a failed TV/SNL actor that the dumb masses love, a wacky insultingly dumb premise, at least $70 Million to spend on a budget, and the movie must take place in a place that can be advertised.

  • The Summer of George

    I’d have to go with the Jack and Jill review… or Boyhood.

  • broncotruck11

    Please go on… I enjoyed reading all of these.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Lets dug up Chris Farley.
    Is there a 5 star resort in Hawaii that want some advertising?
    ‘Weekend at Bernie’s in Hawaii’
    done.

  • Palpatine

    Jack and Jill 2: European Vacation. Jack, his wife and kids, along with his business associates, played by Kevin James, Rob Schinder, and Nick Swarsdon, all take a trip to Europe together. But things get wacky when Jill and her Mexican husband and step-kids come along for the trip!

  • Doctor John Smith

    There is no way They would pass Raiders as PG now.
    ‘melting faces’:(cut)
    ‘big nazi plane propeller.’:(Blood splatter removed) ‘Indy casually murdering people’:Thats sooooo cut.

  • Doctor John Smith

    that would have been gold.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    “Remember these men are pawns.”
    … and Kevin Bacon.

    That’s all I got at the moment. :-/

  • Like Icare

    Drowning kittens and puppies is a time-honored tradition.
    Particularly the first litter.

    Many a poet wrote about that.
    https://isobelandcat.wordpress.com/2010/05/15/drowning-cats-and-puppies-seamus-heaney-poem/
    http://www.poetryverse.com/foreign-love-poems/european-poets/sergei-yesenin-poems.html#6

  • Like Icare

    Indeed. But that does not change the fact that the rating system is completely arbitrary.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTL3XMDwY0c

  • Doctor John Smith

    spamers got a poster.

  • Like Icare

    How bout instead we kidnap Adam Sandler, take him to the top of the Empire State Building and throw him over the fence?

    WHAT A VALUE!

  • Doctor John Smith

    Now thats a Scamdler film i would pay to watch.

  • RLMkeepitup

    only someone who has endured watching Jack and Jill 1 could envision such a film be possible. the only question is how to top Kevin James being president in Pixels..

  • Adzl33t

    Before White people ruined it

  • Adzl33t

    Also the album had no radioplay

  • Jean-François Martel

    there doesn’t need to be a reason for a character to be gay tbh. Otherwise imma need to be given an explicit reason as to why every character everywhere is straight tbh.

  • Like Icare

    In 3D!

    Then for a sequel, we hunt down Paul Blarp.

    Bill Hicks just wasn’t thinking big enough. Also, fuck cancer.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=KrDHuHBYioQ#t=65

  • Palpatine

    Well I’ve endured it, and it’s the second worst movie I’ve ever seen. The worst one being Nukie.

  • fred

    Lord of War is underrated. It’s one of Nicolas Cage’s best performances; balanced with the subdued and shit fuck insane elements that make him a good actor.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    That’s what the case of the not-gays was invented for.

  • Jean-François Martel

    How could i forget?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I saw the trailer for Nukie and went: “Hey, look! It’s Duane Barry!” but the rest of it looked so terrible, I don’t plan to ever watch it.

  • Jean-François Martel

    “shit fuck insane” is the best descriptive i have ever read for Nicolas Cage

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I vote for a Night at the Museum knock-off set at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame starring Mike Meyers as a Don Henley type trying to get his whatever back from the wax doll of him in it. Wacky adventures with the re-animated wax dolls of the musicians on display ensue and said rocker learns a valueable lesson about life from his doppleganger.
    Wait, thats too good.

  • Palpatine

    Don’t, it’s horrendously bad. The worst of the worst.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    It made Mac and Me look like Cop Out, I mean, like E.T.

  • Jean-François Martel

    why not watch both at the SAME TIME!!!

  • Doctor John Smith

    I hate nic its coarse, irritating and gets everywhere.

  • Cynical Optimist

    Castor Troy is still his best role in my opinion.

  • Jean-François Martel

    can i get a Naked Chris Evans instead?
    I love Chris Hemsworth but Evans does it more for me, or is it a fixed prize?

  • Palpatine

    Really?

  • Cynical Optimist

    Shouldn’t you two hack frauds be glued to your screens for the OFFICIAL STAR WARS EPISODE VII THE FORCE AWAKENS OFFICIAL TOY UNVEILING TODAY?!!!

  • Palpatine

    It’s going to be the worst fucking movie ever!

  • Jean-François Martel

    i’d buy THAT FOR A DOLLAR!

  • Cynical Optimist

    Spoilers: Everybody ends up being Benedict Cumberbatch

  • Palpatine

    Are you looking forward to it? Because I’m certainly not!

  • Jean-François Martel

    and at telling stories in general.

  • RLMkeepitup

    is it only because you’re not in it?

  • Palpatine

    If Mike and Jay say it’s good, then I’ll like it.

  • Jean-François Martel

    I really liked Godzilla a lot but goddamn, ATJ is such a fucking charisma vaccuum. And he doesn’t emote once during the movie. LIKE I KNOW YOU’RE A MAN BUT YOU’RE NEARLY BEING CRUSHED, EATED, ETC BY A GIANT MONSTER, DROP THAT HYPERMASCULINE BULLSHIT AND SHED A GODDAMN TEAR OR SOMETHING!

  • Cynical Optimist

    Only if you end up shooting cgi lightning at yourself again

  • Palpatine

    If you’re an RLM fan, then you’re not allowed to like it.

  • Jean-François Martel

    if you wanna be really crepped out by Michael Cera watch “Magic Magic”

  • Jean-François Martel
  • Palpatine

    All joking aside, I am really looking forward to it.

  • Jean-François Martel

    don’t even put that out there.

  • Cynical Optimist

    You put me in a tough spot here, Palpy… I guess you could say “it’s a trap” Ha ha…

  • Cynical Optimist

    It’s jj… he tries but you know sometimes he just cant be helped.

  • Palpatine

    Are you seriously looking forward to it?

  • Cynical Optimist

    Cautiously optimistic… jj seems more in his element here from what scraps Ive seen but idk… I’m exhausted from having my expectations pooped on by Hollyweird.

  • Palpatine

    Yeah, same here.

  • Cynical Optimist

    David Spade plays trailer trash before his shady second cousin from New York (Sandler) arrives to help him escape from his wife which ends up being Sandler’s twin sister Jill.

  • Jean-François Martel

    nah, they can use it as the title for the sequel

  • RLMkeepitup

    for those interested its live here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3OkEpkwC4E

  • Jean-François Martel

    lmao, amazing

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well I’m more original than Max Landis

    http://i.imgur.com/jwSuhT4.png

  • Palpatine

    Sweet, you used Roman numerals!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    An explosion.

  • Palpatine

    Who’s eyes are in the background?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Adam Driver’s. He’s Max Landis, seeking revenge or his he?

  • Palpatine

    I thought they were George’s? Is he not the main villain of the film?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    There will be twists and turns

  • Palpatine

    What will the plot of Dawn of Disqus be about?

  • broncotruck11

    Everyone keeps typing Rich Evans…no joke.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    A tale of survival as an army of Sean Penn’s threaten the lives of a group of weirdos.

  • Palpatine

    Has Jaws been cast yet, or is he not in it?

  • Palpatine

    They’re talking about me on there!

  • broncotruck11

    So the toy unveiling is really lame right now.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Everyone is making fun of Hayden Christensen and yelling Rich Evans

  • Palpatine

    I see nothing wrong with that.

  • broncotruck11

    I am typing Rich Evans 🙁 I am one of the people doing it.

  • broncotruck11

    It’s insanity. The guy in the glasses is like such a fake douche trying to suppress his homosexual tendencies.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    #FreeRichEvans

  • broncotruck11

    RICH EVANS > HAYDEN

  • broncotruck11

    THEY’RE LITERALLY JUST BUILDING LEGOS NOW

  • broncotruck11

    Toy unveiling is bullshit

  • Jay Stein

    Han Solo dies, and probably Chewbacca

  • broncotruck11

    Princess Lea gives birth to a baby…Lando’s baby.

  • broncotruck11

    This movie needed some black goo IMO

  • Hank_Henshaw

    What was that black goo?
    Was the black goo different than the green, sparkly goo?
    Was the black goo always intended for use as a weapon, or was it just weird alien cum?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    It’s the most disappointing thing since my son.

  • Matthew James (B1trider)

    monkey problems? I don’t have monkey problems..why would I have monkey problems?

  • Domo

    Are you saying Kristen Stewart shoots alien cum?

    Makes sense.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I’ve been watching it, there’s been more than a few RLM references.

  • bleurgh

    It’s a good movie, not great, but Cage is great in it. Sort of like Bad Lieutenant.

    What are the best Nicholas Cage movies? I’m going to be obvious and go with Leaving Las Vegas. The movie which he rightfully won an academy award for. Closely followed by Raizing Arizona and then Adaptation.

  • bleurgh

    Yeah, you hardly ever see a gay character whose gayness isn’t an ‘issue’. I feel like there really needs to be more gay characters whose defining trait isn’t their sexuality and who just happen to be gay, but we haven’t gotten to that point yet unfortunately.

  • TapewormBike

    The Teaches of Peaches on a loop

  • bleurgh

    His original vision for Star Wars probably was more of a kids movie, but as everyone has learned, he was not the reason for the films being successful. If so, someone probably would have fought for him to make the next two installments. The fact that no-one did says a lot about his contributions to the series and how seriously everyone took him as a director.

  • bleurgh

    I’m a fan of this Bleurgh guy personally.

  • bleurgh

    They collaborated with Ke$ha so this is hardly unprecedented for the Lips. Wayne Coyne is totally willing to sell out these days unfortunately. He wants to be a pop star.

  • naah

    seeing long-haired stoner couple 20somethings in flannel pisses me off for some reason, so kuddos for panning this flop film

  • its called bleach

    that second tbh looks awkward and fucks up your sentence flow

    i like to fuck my cat

  • instant relief

    She looks manlier than Michael Cera anyways.

  • Doctor John Smith

    So it September and its 911 docos as far as the TV?Guide can see.

  • Doctor John Smith

    yep. he is never anything more than Nic.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Taking credit for New Barbs. Recently watched it for the 3rd or 4th time with some friends, and it’s still not getting old.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    MyWomb(space)

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I really like the focus on the villains. Especially Yoda.

  • tOmy`

    I very much enjoy that movie, it ain’t no masterpiece, but it’s one of those cool enough to rewatch without a problem.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    “What order do you watch the Star Wars movies in? Do you watch 1, 2, 3 first? Or do you start with what some would consider “the originals”, although I wouldn’t go that far.” – Man on Star Wars toy unveiling

    What does that even mean??

    Also, the fans they picked to be in the studio are middle-aged, bolding men. http://i.imgur.com/1G5wmdw.jpg?1

    PS. What the fuck? http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–lIKZ7mBT–/ycf0ki9jqv4azpfm0tra.jpg

    http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–QK1vZYtA–/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/lkvp4suxcfwl9tu8wuna.jpg

    http://static1.businessinsider.com/image/54dd9f6c69bedd8d1776731f/youll-be-able-to-buy-and-build-your-own-three-pronged-star-wars-lightsaber-later-this-year.jpg

  • I have to ask. Does Elaine May know she’s writing and directing the whole trilogy? Or is this a new Adam Smithee thing?

  • WHAT ARE THOSE?
    who wants to lightsaber three Jedis with one fist??

  • The official Star Wars/Ninja Turtles crossover toys.

  • Hey, remember Species?

  • Jaws 5 – Jawsmentday

    You just want me on the casting couch don’t you Palpy :p

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • Jaws 5 – Jawsmentday

    101 reasons NOT to see American Ultra

    1. Bella is in it
    2. Bella is in it
    3. Bella is in it
    4.

  • Domo

    I saw the Droid purses and just thought “Holy fuck. They have every market cornered now.” Maybe they had star wars purses in the past, but not ones that could pass off as a Louis Vuitton bag.

  • tOmy`

    I saw few movies! Yay!

    Foxcatcher: Meh. I assume I am not the target audience for this movie. It wasn’t a chore to sit though it but I don’t think I need to see it again. If it wasn’t for acting and somewhat unsettling atmosphere, the 2 hour and some runtime would start to get painful and padded, as the pacing is sloooooow and it feels like the movie could get trimmed a bit. The buildup to the important situation is both sorta satisfying but unfortunately predictable, because you can sorta guess this is the kinda shit that needs to happen at the end. No, they did not catch the fox. 6/10

    The Lost Boys: I sure do miss the 80s. I sure as fuck don’t miss the 80s. Both of these emotions clashed during what I can only describe as a movie I wanna see one more time, this time stoned. It is charming to say the least and I absolutely dig the visuals and Sutherland’s performance. 7/10

    Where The Trail Ends: When Redbull does documentaries, they do them right. Despite not being a massive mountain biking fan, this is an incredible look into dangerous and stunning sport. A group of friends set off to find the gnarliest zones around planet, starting with by now cultish Utah and continuing through Nepal, China, BC and Argentina. Tricks are awesome, philosophy is handled well, soundtrack is superb and thanks to a longer span of shooting this movie, there is even a time for some story progression, shift in attitudes and generally introducing one into the fascination and culture of the places where the trail totally does end. 8/10

    Days of My Youth: A bit disappointing Matchstick Production’s addition to their epic ski movies. While the philosophy behind this one is handled particularly well, there is a lot of great skiers missing who usually brought a lot of charm and a lot of style to their particular segments. There is enough of cool stuff to keep you interested – trolling in normal ski resort and “pushing the limits vs. fear” segment – but this time around there is a very obvious lack of urban tricks and especially the peak of almost every MSP ski movie: The Alaska Kicker, the biggest freaking jump on the planet annually built by MSP. Not sure why this segment ain’t in, but hey. At least no one died this time. 7/10

  • tOmy`

    Remember those uber expensive Empire watches? (Wo)man, they were awesome.

  • tOmy`

    And because 99% of you have no fucking clue what am I talking about:

    Days of My Youth trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxJNvnHf3QM
    Where The Trail Ends trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZUsc1ewgUQ

  • Domo

    You mean these? Because these are some beauties.

    I’m claiming the right one regardless. You can have the left one if you like to Kiki it up with.

    http://mostwantedtoday.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Designer-Star-Wars-Watches.jpg

  • tOmy`

    I am small cheerleader, those on the right would make me fall over.

    And nope, those ain’t the ones I was talking about. Unfortunately, I cannot find them anywhere. I think they were made by some Swiss company; they had very sober, modern grey + black + white design and looked very professional. They were supposed to be stylized after the Empire’s logo and their general design. Quite honestly, if you didn’t mention they were Star Wars, it would be hard to point out, but once you did, you could totally see it. That’s why I really loved them.

  • tOmy`

    Go watch your reboot sequels of rebranded comic book movies you hack fraud! YOU AIN’T GOT SHIT ON REAL HOLLYWOOD!!!!!

    IT BEAT BIRDMAN!!!!!!!!

  • tOmy`

    I think she is literally physically incapable of climaxing.

  • tOmy`
  • tOmy`

    You know, I kinda have no problem with these. They are obviously aimed at small children / early teens who just want to build their custom lightsabers, talk about which one of them is the kewler one, beat the living shit out of each other with them and, if you are lucky, they’re gonna do it outside. It’s just a toy.

  • tOmy`

    So after Idris Elba has been ruled out as the next James Bond for being “too street”, there are some rumors circling around Tom Hardy. Any thoughts? My personal vote is either Rich Evans (maybe too street as well) or Jesse Eisenberg

  • Domo

    Kristen Stewart would be a great Bond.

    Or Buster Bluth.

  • tOmy`

    Good news, everyone, prog-rock has its own chart now! Here are the best selling albums of 21th century so far:

    10. The Flaming Lips – Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots
    9. Genesis – Selling England By The Pound (came out 1973)
    8. Mike Oldfield – Tubular Bells (came out 1973)
    7. Sigur Rós – Takk
    6. Air – Moon Safari
    5. Jeff Wayne – The War Of The Worlds (came out 1978)
    4. Kate Bush – Aerial
    3. Radiohead – OK Computer
    2. Pink Floyd – The Dark Side Of The Moon (came out 1973)
    1. Muse – Black Holes & Revelations

    This makes me a happy cheerleader.

  • tOmy`
  • Beckoning Chasm

    I’d expect Yes and King Crimson on there, but maybe they don’t sell as much.

  • Beckoning Chasm

    Shia LaBoef, Melissa McCarthy, or Keanu Reeves.

  • tOmy`

    It is a world-wide prog rock chart from what I understand, so maybe they don’t sell as much in certain countries / regions. I am actually very surprised that Air and Oldfield made it into the top 10. For reference, here is the prog rock chart for UK only that paints a totally different picture:

    10. Nightwish – Endless Forms Most Beautiful
    9. Tim Bowness – Stupid Things That Mean The World
    8. Pink Floyd – The Endless River
    7. Symphony X – Underworld
    6. Faith No More – Sol Invictus
    5. Public Service Broadcasting – The Race For Space
    4. Joe Satriani – Shockwave Supernova (woah? really?)
    3. Roger Waters – Amused to Death
    2. Muse – Drones (sarcastic woah? really?)
    1. Tame Impala – Currents

  • TapewormBike

    Gary Oldman’s sister

  • tOmy`

    What the fuck is a Rich Evans?

  • tOmy`

    That’s racist.

  • Michael Collins

    There are three movies that make up the star wars universe…
    It goes like this

    1- Star Wars
    2- The Empire Strikes Back
    3- Return of the Jedi

    that’s it, any other discussion is just wank, so wank away..

  • tOmy`

    I still personally consider Thrawn Trilogy as my own canon. At least it didn’t lie to me.

  • bleurgh

    i think that was meant to be his daughter.

  • bleurgh

    Yeah, Cranston even said in an interview with I think Chris Hardwick that killing his character that early was a mistake and they should have had him learn to be a better father over the course of the film then sacrifice himself saving his son at the end of the movie.

  • bleurgh

    Did it underperform because all I remember is idiots I went to college with going crazy about it and me feeling like I was taking crazy pills for being the only person who realised how terrible it was.

  • bleurgh

    He also stole the plot of Ameeican Ultra from The Bourne Identity. Can he do anything original?

  • bleurgh

    Funnily enough it’s being advertised as the movie of the week by my local theatre in my little part of the world. Enough douchebags will watch it for it’s trendy youth oriented marketing for it to break even.

  • bleurgh

    Hardy wouldn’t accept the role of offered. It’d tie him to the franchise and Bond actors get put on a pretty tight leash. I think whilst he’s being offered roles by so many great directors he’s going to continue going outside His comfort zone.

  • Thanatos2k

    You sound bitter that rap music sucks.

  • RLMkeepitup

    yet none will get to the real truth #Aliens

  • RLMkeepitup

    I laughed hard, I laughed so hard.

  • tOmy`

    I feel like this is the time to yet again mention The Drop and recommend it to people. A great little movie.

  • fred

    The ending epilogue “This is based on true events” crap made the film a little schmultzy. Overall I enjoyed it. It’s not realistic but visually engaging and informative instead.

  • Trask

    They are going to make so much money

    https://youtu.be/aUYxqMcc1rE

  • tOmy`

    Agreed. And yea, say that I am a cliche lover, but the opening scene and snorting a map of coke are still pretty great moments.

  • tOmy`

    Ah, fuck this, I am gonna have to buy it, don’t I…

  • Palpatine

    Can Rich Evans masturbate with it?

  • RLMkeepitup

    no but did you see the lightsaber sets yet?

  • Palpatine

    I did. They look so laughable. THIS MOVIE IS GOING TO FUCKING SUCK NOW!!!!

  • tOmy`

    That was the only saving grace of Birdman – not selling plushy toys of Emma Stone beforehand.

    Fuck, now I want a plushy Emma Stone.

  • Palpatine

    I’ll probably end up buying the Star Wars LEGO sets though.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Who could forget Natasha Henstridge in her prime

  • tOmy`

    Yea, I am gonna invest into one or two. I really liked one of them, looked pretty sweet design-wise. I don’t have much of the LEGO Prequels crap (well, only one Episode 1 set), so I have to stock up on my nerd cred.

  • TapewormBike
  • Palpatine

    You a big LEGO fan?

  • Hank

    Wait, why are evangelicals interested in a 1993 documentary on Bill Clinton’s ’92 campaign for President?

    http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51QA4JC9H4L.jpg

  • tOmy`

    You could say that, yea.

    http://i.imgur.com/Foeka0P.jpg

  • Palpatine

    Those are some pretty cool sets you got right there!

  • tOmy`

    Yea, I am very proud of that Y-Wing, it’s from collector series and it has 1473 bricks. It is also a pretty heavy and big son of a bitch (I have it on a top shelve, it comes with a landing pad, so it’s a bit dirty). I have currently around 20 – 30 sets build all around my room, usually just as pieces of decoration. I switch it around once a year with some others.

  • Palpatine

    Is it just Star Wars sets?

  • tOmy`

    Nope, currently no. I just have this B-Wing + Y-Wing + Rebel tank and soldiers from Hoth. Rest is just random mashup. Mostly planes, one train and then notably a castle and a space station on my library. My dad used to invest a lot of money into LEGO, I bought some of this shit on my own (usually for Christmas).

  • Palpatine

    I got to admit this, but Lego’s have been getting better.

  • Red Skeleton

    Why do I feel like I should be evacuating a fast-moving bus as I watch this?

    http://img.ifcdn.com/images/fb43fb3c5acda2fcb67475267add9aed386502246b1c713b889caf412e42d87e_1.gif

  • Palpatine

    Um, what?

  • tOmy`

    (I guess some people might be wondering why I brought this up, when it’s just a chart. It took 50 years for prog-rock to finally have its own chart, that’s why.)

  • Red Skeleton

    Somebody explain my joke to Palpy. I can’t be arsed.

  • tOmy`

    It’s a metaphor for war on drugs.

  • Palpatine

    Is it some kind of British joke?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Drugs? What?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Is the Thunderpants kid still around? He’d be of age about now to play Bond, right?

  • Jay Stein

    The dirt make it look better

  • Niccageshair

    He wasn’t ruled out. It was the author of the recent books being an ass. He should still be the first one they call after Craig.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I want a body pillow.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You woke up holding a Lego Y-Wing?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    And expencier.

  • Jay Stein

    I do

  • WrongWithYourFace

    *Aren’t I?

  • Jay Stein

    I think Kirsten Stewart is very pretty in an average way, like if I saw her at the grocery store I would have to introduce myself, but in movies she just doesn’t quite work..

  • Jay Stein

    What about “Battle for Endor”, and the Star Wars Holiday special?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yea, but the thought of the idea for those stirring up from the Kylo Ren saber controversy is just hilarious. Or depressing however you want to look at it.

  • Red Skeleton

    No it’s a reference to that movie where with the SPEEDing bus that had to keep its SPEED above 55 miles per our and if it dropped its SPEED the bus would explode. I think it was called “The Bus That Could Slow Down.”

  • Jay Stein

    Those questions were never answered..

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I don’t have a nostalgic connection to those to get me buy any of them.

  • Jay Stein

    Your originality gives me a boner…

  • Palpatine

    Never seen it.

  • its called bleach

    moon safari rules hard im gonna listen to it now

  • Red Skeleton

    Oh it’s lovely, it’s got Sanda Bullocks, Keanu Reams, and Dennis Hopped-up in it.

  • TapewormBike

    And where?

  • Doctor John Smith

    how much?

  • TapewormBike

    Do I have to swallow?

  • Doctor John Smith

    No they’re suppositories.
    “Bum rush the show!”

  • Palpatine

    I found this neat little site that has a listing of bad, no budget, shot-on-video horror movies:
    http://letterboxd.com/mangloid/list/shot-on-video-violence-low-budget-horror/

  • Doctor John Smith

    with a few exceptions that list has some of my favorite albums ever.

  • TapewormBike

    You’re a total brickhead

  • tOmy`

    Hard to argue with that.

  • TapewormBike

    Nice find, that’s worth just for skimming the covers.

  • TapewormBike

    I like Joe Satriani. Deal with it.

  • TapewormBike

    Can it be fleshy? tee hee

  • tOmy`

    I wasn’t saying anything against Satriani, I was just really surprised this kinda stuff hits charts.

  • Palpatine

    And all are excellent films for The-Place-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named.

  • TapewormBike

    It’s the bald head. Hard to resist.

  • TapewormBike

    And The Mahole as well!

  • Palpatine

    Shh! Jay is always watching.

  • TapewormBike

    I know. Keeps my groove on.

  • TapewormBike

    You’re married now.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    After Wizard Phoenix mentioned there were people mentioning the name of our Lord and Savior, Rich Evans, in the chat of the Star Wars toy event on Youtube, I had to check it out. The trolling was strong with that one. I laughed my ass off at all the Rich Evans, Plinkett and general RLM references in the chat. I’d say 80% of the comments were making fun of Hayden Christensen, 10% was RLM related, and the rest were people actually interested in the content of the actual toy unboxing event.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Are those sex toys? Is it okay to link images of dildos on this webzone?

  • tOmy`

    As long as they are not attached to an Australian.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    She looks like a very young old lady in that one. Ouch.

  • Palpatine

    Rich is a meme now.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    *internet superstar.

  • Palpatine

    The fame will soon go to his head.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    RichEvans2016

  • broncotruck11

    I found out Jay had native American in him….but only when he’s at the manhole :/

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m not if I started it or if 4chan got there.

  • broncotruck11

    Both I hope

  • Palpatine

    Who should be his VP?

  • Palpatine

    Does 4chan love Rich?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    A droid toy.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Also, was there really much unboxing? I tuned in for more than 2 hours, and most of it was commercials for the tv show Rebels, Sketchers, and maybe someone opened a box with a Lego X-Wing once.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They also talked about cookies and actor Dante Basco.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    ‘once in six months

  • Palpatine

    What was up with all the Hayden comments?

  • Palpatine

    The guy who played Rufio?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I think they were mocking Hyden Christiansen or they were trying to summon him.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Yeah, all the comments should have been about Rich Evans or, in its defect, about Plinkett reviews. Those plebs.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes and the voice of Zuko from Avatar The Last Airbender, a show that the prequels should’ve been like. That also applies to X-Men First Class.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I wonder what fans thought about the whole thing. If I were a fan, I’d consider it a fiasco. The chat was the highlight, it made the whole thing worth it for me.

  • Palpatine

    That show was awesome.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    If they got the guys from the Breaking Bad recap show I might’ve liked it outside of the chat.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes it was, do you agree the Prequels should’ve been like that or/and like X-Men First Class?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    The two hosts were… not great. And the direction of the show was a mess, sometimes they would leave the hosts hanging for 30 seconds or more before rolling the video they were supposed to run.

  • Palpatine

    I haven’t seen that movie, so the first one then.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    were you the #FREERICHEVANS guy?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    There is awesome Star Wars show called Collider Jedi Council and they should get the same people that are on that to do a Star Wars livestream event because they are huge fans, smart, and really funny.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No I think I started #RichEvansGate because he wasn’t there.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Foxcatcher was great you philistine!

  • If you didn’t like it that is fine. It under performed because it was marketed to and it appealed to a generation that at the time still had no jobs or money. It is ironic.

  • Doctor John Smith
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Do so, it’s a great character movie. Unlike the Prequels.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    RLM is a household name; they’re more popular than Davey Crockett.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I was in tears when people started to discuss how Rich Evans was going to take over the reins of the event later, or how he was going to unbox a toy later, or how he would be a better host, and if Rich Evans was Star Wars canon or not.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Rich Evans died at the Alamo for our sins.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    He was sure to split his soul and store the fractures in the Titanic Popcorn bucket, the picture of the beautiful black child and the VCR that will never be fixed.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Wizard Phoenix

    RIP Star Wars Toys Unboxing Video Chat. You will be missed
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wz1xA5kxVI

  • its called bleach

    rich evans has a star wars cannon amirite

  • tOmy`

    I am gonna be honest here: I am mere 11 minutes into X-Men: The Future Pants and it already made me say “neat opening”, say “woah” during the first action scene and now it got me interested in the plot.

    Am I going soft? WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    A cannon and two death stars?

  • TapewormBike

    I am watching a pretty damn cool Cynthia Rothrock movie at the mystery place. And yes, you are softie, but still semi-erect.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Star Wars Toys Unboxing Video Chat sacrificed themselves to give you a great movie. RIP in Peace.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I don’t want to know what it shoots.

  • tOmy`

    As I said, probably not my cup of coffee. I can see how others might consider it great, I just wasn’t interested.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Bryan Singer knows how to make an X-men movie to be engaging s’all.

  • Palpatine

    George himself must’ve deleted it.

  • TapewormBike

    Gotta be honest, the first one kinda aged badly in my eyes.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Doesn’t apply to X-Men 2 though. That’s a really smart movie.

  • TapewormBike

    But give him an asian and a black guy and he gets going. We are still talking about Singer, right?

  • Palpatine

    Who dat?

  • TapewormBike

    B.Rat

  • TapewormBike

    Sure, X2 was great.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Brett Ratner director of X-Men The Last Stand which is pretty bad. He’s a way better producer and studio guy than director.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    There is a cynical element to Days of Future Pants and that is a a vehicle for Chinese actress Fan Bingbing to have a western career.

  • TapewormBike

    Well, Chinese people had money too.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    She’s one of the highest paid actresses in the world. Her makeup in the movie reminded of Kasumi Goto from Mass Effect 2.

  • TapewormBike

    My knowledge about those games does not go beyond knowing you can fuck in them.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    If you have the chance to play them do so. Star Wars should’ve been like this starting with the Prequels.

  • TapewormBike

    There’s a long list that started about ten years ago of stuff I want to play. But the possibility of maybe 69ing a hot dude, puts it at the top.

  • broncotruck11

    So you haven’t heard of speed or Brett ratner?

  • tOmy`

    Or the bottom.

    Because 69.

    #Chaching?

  • TapewormBike

    But Brett Ratner surely heard about speed. Shit, that’s a bad comedy drug.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    A speed ball killed my brother.

  • TapewormBike

    If I shall suck dick and have my dick sucked, I would go equal opportunities and did it on the side, Plus, he would have like a gigantic schlong, so, less neck pain.

  • TapewormBike

    I hope that when I die, I’ll also become Harrison Ford.

  • My ex wife

    I liked him when he still had hair!

  • Marvin Falz

    Wow, sounds like even that toy unboxing event was better than the prequels are.

  • Palpatine

    I have, I just didn’t know what he looked like.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    True dat but it’s still got some charm.

  • TapewormBike

    If you have Mckellen and Stewart, you can never be actually bad.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Unless Ratner is directing it. I hate X-Men 3.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    That I can’t attest to, I need to see the Prequels first (which will never happen), but it’s possible.

  • TapewormBike

    Ah yes, true. I don’t think you’re alone in that sentiment.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    that goes WAY without saying….

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    His pig heart WILL go on.

  • Like Icare

    I’m gonna go with this answer that I found on WR’s imdb discussion forum:

    This movie is proof that all Democrats are snakes
    by
    chinaskee-418-613225 »
    Sun Aug 9 2015 20:12:35
    IMDb member since July 2012

    “Only reason Bill Clinton beat George Bush was because
    the Clinton team conspired to talk the economy down and put the country into a recession. But hey all’s fair in war and politics, right ? Who cares if the economy gets deliberately flushed down the toilet as long as our guy wins. Right, lefties ?”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Tonally it doesn’t fit the last two movies. That stupid bridge moving scene and that horrible shot of them standing heroically in a line would’ve never happened if Matthew Vaughn or Bryan Singer directed it.

  • Palpatine

    I thought he got stabbed in throat at a restaurant while trying to break up a fight?

  • TapewormBike

    They should have taken Claremont as it is and make proper Phoenix Saga. I was dying to see the planet of Asparagus people on the big screen

  • TapewormBike

    Personally I found Foxcatcher absolutely captivating. And I could make a cheap gay joke here, but won’t. Suck on that.

  • TapewormBike

    You’re thinking of JFK.

  • tOmy`

    So wait a fucking minute, are you telling me that Magneto curved Comedian’s bullet to kill JFK? And that Cage found out at the end of Scala?

    How is this not a movie yet?!

  • TapewormBike

    Is there any reason you went for the weirdest possible way to say The Rock?

  • tOmy`

    Fuck, I have never seen it in English. Why the hell are we calling it Scala?

  • Palpatine

    JFK had the power to get shot in the head.

  • TapewormBike

    It’s how you say “Good Michael Bay movie” in Italian.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s why you’re not on this show.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Is this engrish?

  • TapewormBike

    It’s vaguely Czechish

  • Palpatine

    Who is the most offensive RLM member, anyway?

  • TapewormBike

    Let the dicks speak.

    Oh, like actual RLM. Jack, but his sweet face makes you not believe it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    All of them.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Ano, ano…

  • Palpatine

    Is say it’s either Mike or Rich. Mike especially.

  • TapewormBike

    What? My mother is way more slutty than that.

  • Marvin Falz

    Mike. Definitely.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Excuse me: ANO, ANO, ANOOOOO!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Jay does some nasty stuff too.

  • Palpatine

    I can’t really think of any times he’s been offensive.

  • TapewormBike

    Well, in Latin you are saying “anus” over and over, so it fits.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Piss out my ano!

  • My ex wife

    I used to watch a lot of MTB stuff, and when I think downhill I think this.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtbDFDda89c&t=11m54s

    I’ve always enjoyed surfing films the most tho.

  • tOmy`

    Oh my Evans, this movie is fantastic! Is this what fun feels like?

  • My ex wife
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Am I the only one that is looking forward to the Steve Jobs biopic?

  • Domo

    Jay Bauman’s “Yes. This.” offends me deeply.

  • Palpatine

    Another one?

  • instant relief

    Is it a deep and penetrating offense?

  • tOmy`

    He died again.

    *cue the Stairway To Hell*

  • instant relief

    Only Haley Joel Osment can talk to him now.

  • tOmy`

    You know what, I am not gonna edit it.

  • tOmy`

    I am so fucking bad at typing today that I will bid you all goodnight. Music-related mistakes are a bit too much for me.

  • tOmy`

    Last question tho: In the Future Pants post credits scene – was that Howard the Duck?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Since the next movie is called “Apocalypse”, I’m gonna guess it’s Apocalypse,
    despite never seeing the movie.

  • instant relief

    It was Howhard the Cock.

  • Palpatine

    No, it was me!

  • The Summer of George

    Dear, American Ultra,
    Everything you are doing is bad. I want you to know this.
    -JP

  • Like Icare

    Hopefully, yes.

  • Like Icare

    Nah. He was Aquaman. Minus the “talks to fishes” bit.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motor_Torpedo_Boat_PT-109#Survival

    Kennedy, who had been on the Harvard University swim team, used a life jacket strap clenched between his teeth to tow his badly-burned
    senior enlisted machinist mate, MM1 Patrick McMahon.[16]
    It took four hours to reach their destination, 3.5 miles (5.6 km) away,
    which they reached without interference by sharks or crocodiles.[17]

    The island was only 100 yards (90 m) in diameter, with no food or water. The crew had to hide from passing Japanese barges. Kennedy swam to Naru and Olasana islands, a round trip of about 2.5 miles (4.0 km), in search of help and food. He then led his men to Olasana Island, which had coconut trees and drinkable water.[18]

  • Like Icare

    Are they both fully operational?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It was a boy. NAMBLA got excited

  • Palpatine

    Rich Evans is a NAMBLA member.

  • Jay Stein

    Shit

  • Like Icare

    That sounds like a perfectly normal human desire.

  • Like Icare

    Why not Jackie Chan? Much bigger market there.

    Oh… Right… I forgot.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=vW3cVIGyKnw#t=35

  • Like Icare

    Yeah. It’s a fine little movie. Dennis Lehane writing.
    Hardy, Rapace, Gandolfini acting. Michael R. Roskam directing.
    Fine movie.

    Child 44… Tom Rob Smith writing.
    Hardy, Rapace, Oldman acting. Daniel Espinosa directing.
    Couldn’t make it past the nonsense in the trailer.

    Don’t really know if TRS is any good as a writer (he doesn’t seem to be… then again movie “adapted” the book rather loosely as I hear) but I have seen Espinosa’s Safe House and it was crap.
    There seems to be a pattern forming here…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    We’re making homeruns today, folks!

  • Like Icare

    A lesbian Bond?

    It could work. It could work a lot.

  • Palpatine

    Just like the baseball team that Rich and the guy who was in the Wendy’s ad like.

  • Captain Turbo

    Steve who?

  • Like Icare

    Two words.

    Medical industry.

    Two more words.

    HUGE market.

    Two more.

    INSANE margins.

    It’s coming. You know it to be true.
    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mSLTqntAoH4/U8gGiQl8PcI/AAAAAAAAAHU/sshYR0XrIUk/s1600/FX-7+%2528Medical+Droid%25291.png

  • Noah R.

    I’ve got a small amount of interest.

  • Like Icare
  • Noah R.

    Do it Hank, it’s for your own good (bad)!

  • Noah R.

    It doesn’t fit but 2112 by Rush is still deserving of that #1 spot. Wow, what a great album!

  • Like Icare

    Chewey’s head returns with a spider body later on.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    His “Wendy’s” “ad”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Steve Unemployed

  • Palpatine

    Scumbag Steve.

  • Adzl33t

    Modern mainstream rap music

    I listen to obscure and older hip hop

  • Adzl33t

    I listen to better and more obscure Hip Hop than what normies and you listen probably heard

    I listen to alternative hip hop from like cool creative people no one lame probably ever heard of

    Im more open minded than you

  • Brack to the Future

    I had a dream last night that I was swimming in a sea of pearl green
    As I slept my thoughts popped bubbles of memory
    My Disqus life
    A Topical Fish

  • Palpatine

    You make the strangest comments. No offense.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Tomorrow I might finally have time for the last few RLM videos! 😀

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    No. Hell no. Looks awesome.

    Perhaps I’m just a sucker for those types of trailers, though.

  • Palpatine

    Max Landis hates RLM.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Yes.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “I guess we’ve all got Future Pants. They’re the pants we’ll wear tomorrow, and the day after that …”

    – Mike (Summary) Stoklasa

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    So Plinkett’s family home movies?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    It’s a prequel to Speed 3: Gravity which saw Sandra Bullocks in the future … of spaaaaaaaaaaaaaace

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’m having my own personal war of drugs with my downstairs neighbour. It’s not so much the drugs part but mostly the being loud late at night and having a lot of sketchy people coming and going all the time.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Wow, Max Landis is pretty damned … what’s the word? Self-conscious? Touchy? Dude needs to learn to take criticism.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash
  • Palpatine

    They did like Chronicle, Max!

  • Doctor John Smith

    Its funny Josh Trank was talking about going to high school with “That Landis Kid” on a pod cast, about 5 days before Josh melted down.
    maybe they planed it.

  • Doctor John Smith

    and they didnt really like the hobbit movies.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I liked Chronicle and I can also criticize plenty of things in it. Heck, I often criticize things I enjoy.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Shit, you’re right!

  • Palpatine

    They did recommend them though.

  • Doctor John Smith

    only the first one. and with lots of If’s and Buts.

  • Palpatine

    I kept calling his father a murderer.

  • fred

    It was consistent until the end. I especially liked the emergency landing scene. “You’re the shit Alexi. You’re the shit you’re the shit YOU’RE THE SHIT”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He wants to blow up the studio in Milwaukee

    http://i.imgur.com/jwSuhT4.png

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They planned going mad?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He joined F.A.G.S. in order to destroy them.

  • Palpatine

    He also serves as Lucas’ second in command. However, Max redeems himself at the end by throwing Jorge down a mineshaft.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    TWIST: Jorge was secretly a good guy and Landis killed him to gain more power and have revenge.

  • Palpatine

    Man, you really hate Landis, don’t you?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No, I don’t. I’m just trying to make things pointlessly confusing to the plot.

  • Palpatine

    You hack.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    ‘Tis a sad life you lead.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    And Rich.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    They did it all for the Hayden.

  • Cynical Optimist

    To the Director’s credit at least his name is kinda coolish

  • Cynical Optimist

    Its like poetry, they rhyme

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • bleurgh

    Max Landis is everything that is wrong with Hollywood at the moment. A hacky talentless juvenile bastion of mediocrity who’s career is based on nothing but paternalism and privilege. I thought I’d never hate a writer more than Lindelof, but Landis has stolen the shitty writer crown for me. What a fucking douchebag.

  • Cynical Optimist

    Lindelof… Landis… Kurtzman… Orci… Kruger… Goyer… Every world needs its villains I guess

  • bleurgh

    Goyer at least has been involved in writing a couple of decent movies i.e. Dark City, Batman Begins and The Dark Knight. It’s not his fault that Warner wanted to copy the grim dark tone of the Nolan Batman films for Man Of Steel.

  • Jay Stein

    Well said

  • tOmy`

    Don’t bother, it’s mostly people talking about movies.

  • Jay Stein

    Fuck movies…

  • Doctor John Smith

    Exactly!

  • tOmy`

    You gotta hand it to him tho, it is really hard to to fight the classic “So…eh?” argument.

  • Jay Stein

    Not

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    In the special edition you can hear Jorge shout “NOOO!!!” as he plummets to his death. Because it’s like poetry.

  • tOmy`

    Spoilers, dude!

  • Jay Stein

    Ahhhh…not

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Don’t. Bothel. Us!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They’re awaited in Valhalla, shiny and chrome.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    As someone who is usually harsh on comic book adaptations, I must admit X-Men: We’re Totally Ripping Off The Moody Blues But Nobody Remembers Anything Anymore was a genuinely entertaining film. The slow motion scene with Quicksilver is possibly the coolest thing I’ve seen in a comic book movie and fit the theme perfectly (manipulating time to save the lives of friends). Just thinking about naked, blue Jennifer Lawrence the movie makes me happy.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    He wasn’t in it for ratings. He wasn’t in it for profit. He got neither. Now, Max Landis is mad. Coming this summer… Mad Max: Twitter Rampage. Written and directed by George Miller.

  • Thanatos2k

    “Alternative Hip Hop”

    All the hipster doucheism of Alternative
    All the obnoxious looped bass line of hip hop.

    Sounds like the worst genre of music ever created.

  • Doctor John Smith

    What a lovely day…. except for the taste of leadchromium paint.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, this is possibly the first (or at least one of the very few) comic book movies that really kept my interest, made sense, was fun, smart, well written and I even cared about characters.

    Big thumbs up for all the very short and clever action scenes. Fluent, non-intrusive and logical. I was a bit scared about the action scenes set in the future but holy shit, there was some clever stuff in them (and smart choice of X-Men to fight in them).

  • tOmy`

    “Just as long as they keep making good stuff off other people’s stuff. They’re best at analysis, not opinion.” I always wanted to be the best at opinion.

  • Red Skeleton

    Um… didn’t they like Chronicle? I remember them saying positive things, like how it was a better Darth Vader origin story than the prequels.

  • Now I Get It

    That late night noise on the stairs is just a food delivery, and the loud voices are just negotiating the tip. Or so said the guy who lived below me, before he passed out every afternoon (with or without a lit cigarette). …Also, the cat I was sitting had sanity issues.

  • Doctor John Smith
  • tOmy`

    Finally, the GTA movie you have all been waiting for: “The BBC has released a teaser trailer for The Gamechangers, which sees Daniel Radcliffe play Rockstar Games co-founder and president Sam Houser during his court battle over the Grand Theft Auto series.”

    Sorta.

  • tOmy`

    But no worries because: “It’s a shame the folks from DMA and Rockstar have already said it has no resemblance to anything that actually happened.”

    Sorta.

  • tOmy`

    He should have been a stripper.

  • Doctor John Smith

    DMA were scared of a DMCA….
    BadumTish.

  • tOmy`

    You know, I am going to give this movie a fair anal-sys and by that mean I will stick my middlefinger up its column.

    What could have been: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vzue74y7A84
    What are we getting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHQI_MUbDGo

  • Brack to the Future

    Well Natalie Portman has finally made the journey hoam.

    “From Mathilda to Manischewitz, an actor’s slump into directorial nadir.” http://ucs.link/portman (courtesy Reuters)

  • Like Icare

    Best at opinion only works for psychics

  • Like Icare

    Maybe it’s all a ploy to provide them with an insanity plea?

    Now the question is – is the question “Who they’re gonna murder?” or “How many?”

  • Like Icare

    Mighty Max is already trademarked. Or at least copyrighted.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-Q7a6SxIBk

  • Like Icare

    Mad Max: Twitter Tantrum has a better ring to it.

    All it needs is Channing Tantrum in the role of Max and it will make moneys on the strength of nearsighted Magic Mix audiences alone.

  • Trask

    I wonder if Max Landis’ twitter rampage would fill 108 pages.

  • Adzl33t

    Ha your so ignorant (and possibly enthocentric) alt hip hop blends different musical styles

    But yeah you and perhaps your klan buddies wouldn’t like it

  • TapewormBike

    Can’t we all just get together, get along and watch Rush Hour 3?

  • Beckoning Chasm

    I’d agree…Goyer has some good scripts to his credit. Lindelof’s name in the credits translates to STAY AWAY.

  • Beckoning Chasm

    Especially in a hog-calling contest.

  • Palpatine

    Both.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    putting lindelof with landis in same sentence is a bit much. at least chronicle was enjoyable. everything lindelfof does just makes me wanna jam a fork into my brain.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    ‘arouses

    #ommitedgate

  • tOmy`

    *naked

    There should have been “naked” in there somewhere.

  • Palpatine

    He didn’t say where he wants to watch it.

  • Palpatine

    Lindelof was one of the guys who brought RLM to people’s attention.

  • tOmy`

    So did Rich Evans while fucking a toy.

  • Niccageshair

    Jackie Chan is a treasure. I would have no problem with it.

  • TapewormBike

    Literally everywhere

  • TapewormBike

    Landis can write in my opinion, he should just stop doing so about himself.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    pretty ironic in retrospect.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Predictions: she goes full retard

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    *crickets*

  • Palpatine

    I just love it when no one comments for several hours and makes me think there’s new content.

  • tOmy`

    Today is pretty slow spam-wise, so here, enjoy this video of Slipknot performing Livin La Vida Loca: http://www.nme.com/news/slipknot/88085

    #TGIF #GGW #CGW #YOLO #PARTYPPL #WHEREISOMIE

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    American Dynastic-Brat in Hollywood:
    RT certified Fresh: 69%
    An overall good effort at depicting the struggles of a legend in his own mind navigating his way through a pool of unoriginal ideas conceived by gentiles.

  • tOmy`

    Also: Something something refugees, immigrants, xenophobia and me(r)ch unpacking.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Gypsies!

  • Like Icare

    Yeah… Having not seen Chronicle OR American Ultra, I am willing to give Landis a pass on writing until I check it out for myself and until he proves that he can’t write.
    The way Lindelof did by repeatedly producing piles of shit, as if waiting for it to, at some point, start throwing itself at a wall.

    On the other hand… I need no further input to determine that Landis is an ass.
    Lindelof might be an incompetent, possibly mentally ill, idiot – but he is civil.

    But… I really don’t give a fuck if either of them kills kittens in public or privately at home. I’m not about to marry off my sister to any of them.
    I just want them to write well written, engaging, insightful and entertaining stories. Preferably in that order.

    James Cameron is a HUGE asshole. Quite possibly a psychopath. But son of a bitch knows how to make movies.
    George Lucas is a HUGE philanthropist. Does that make prequels, or special editions, or Red Wings or Strange Magic any better? Nope.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Lucas#Philanthropy

  • Palpatine

    Something something something Dark Side. Something something something complete.

  • tOmy`

    Gypsies are soooooo 2014. Get with the times, brah, fear the Jihadism coming from Africa / Asia / Middle East*.

    * Czech comment sections still didn’t quite get where are these terrorists coming from.

  • Palpatine

    Tell your government to stop the immigration now.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    ISIS! CNN! Taxation without Representation!

  • Thanatos2k

    Yes, I’m racist for not liking rap music. In an idiot’s world, perhaps.

  • instant relief

    FFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!

  • Palpatine

    GGGGGGGGG!!!!!

  • Like Icare

    Fuckin neanderthals. Takin our mammoths.

  • Now I Get It

    *no-see-um

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Neighboring Factions taking our nuts and berries without proper grunt.

  • Palpatine

    Dey took er jerbs!!

  • Like Icare

    The missing link invading our breeding room.

  • Galactic Shawn

    I almost read the book on this last week called “Jacked the Outlaw Story of Grand Theft Auto”. Thank god there is going to be a movie because reading is for nerds.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Source indicates Krautrock not actually created by Krauts, but Italians: Woprock

  • Alex Lee

    Sounds like her first film is American Sniper.

  • Like Icare

    Michael Bay already did the best tramsdanger movie, where he manages to get an electricity-powered tram to explode.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZj_S_JtoGk

    Take that Streetcar Named Desire! Not so Stella-r NOW, are you?!

  • Alex Lee

    Hollywood should team up Lindelof and Shalayman together If you multiply two negatives, you’ll get a positive.*

    *Wait, isn’t this creative addition?

  • Niccageshair

    Until they last long enough to become heroes.

  • Like Icare

    It could only go so far with a mystery turning out to be a twist turning out to be a mystery with a twist which is a mystery… before even the most enduring conspiracy theorists give up.

    But it might become either a powerful diagnostic tool for the mental health professionals OR a template for secret services on how convoluted information must be before those seeking to access it reject it as nonsense.

  • Beckoning Chasm

    I saw “World War Z” some months ago, and during the credits I was “Yay! J. Michael Straczynski!” and then “Boo! Damon Lindelof!!” I watched it anyway. It was mostly dull so I think they cancelled each other out.

  • instant relief

    That doesn’t make any sense, man.

  • TapewormBike

    What’s that one Simple Red song? Fuck?!

  • Cynical Optimist

    How many Max Landis’ does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None because he’s too busy blaming the Universe for his movie bombing.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    THERE IS NEW CONTENT! It’s PreRec…. I like it, but your mileage may vary.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Max Landis Whine?

  • TapewormBike

    Right, so, I scrolled down like a lot of Landis’ Twitter feed and I’ve yet to see him being a dick? Also, it’s neither Stars nor Holding back the Years.

  • Beckoning Chasm

    You’re tearing me apaaaaaart!

  • Hank

    Chinaskee’s argument sounds…legit;

    http://www.dinarrecaps.com/uploads/7/6/0/7/7607576/9238296_orig.jpg

    Damned snake!

  • Like Icare

    Immigrants shouldn’t be afraid of the government, government should be afraid of…

    No… Wait…

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’m so, SO sorry.

    Sorry.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I wonder what she does during the afternoons …

  • Now I Get It

    My guy’s landlord entered his suite one day while he was out, because she suspected he was smoking. (The least of his breaches.) She found court paperwork itemizing a lengthy criminal record of escalating offenses, a handout from a social worker on where to find a bed for the night “if you’re sober,” and, yes, a mountain of cigarette butts in a tiny ashtray.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Did he also invent “YOLO”?

  • Now I Get It

    He was actually a seriously deluded guy. He was “convinced” that he knew Jerome Iginla and had watched NHL games from the press box with Dean McAmmond. He had not. A sad guy, who was just hanging on. …He did, however, OLO.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Shit … did he died?

  • Now I Get It

    Six to five and pick’em, but the cat was put down three years later. …A tale of two rescue animals.

    Good luck with your feral adults.

  • LoveSW_Prequels

    how I love when a movie is a massive stinker. M&J at some of their finest. I hope Hollywood has it in them to keep churning out crap, heard they were going to start making only good movies

  • Beyond Boredom

    How did he do that (serious question)?

  • Jay Stein

    Money’s to tight to mention?

  • Jay Stein

    Landis is Jewish

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Yessssss?

  • Jason

    It’s funny they brought up Super, because everything they said about this movie I thought about that one: jumbled tone, idiotic and off-putting violence, unappealing characters, unconvincing action hero, etc; Super was also a big flop and has a bad Rotten Tomatoes score; Nima may have directed Project X, but James Gunn wrote Scooby Doo; Kristen Stewart is an uncharismatic mannequin who can’t act…so is Ellen Page; Jesse Eisenberg is out-of-place as an action star…so is Rainn Wilson.
    The parallels between the two movies seem endless. How can you love one and hate the other? Damn you humans, with your subjective, illogical and inconsistent preferences.

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  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s clear that Jay(hell maybe Mike too) has a boner for James Gunn. I’d agree with everything you said. Super was utter trash but not in a “so bad it’s good” way at all.

  • broncotruck11

    I liked super…what the hell do you know you’re just some dollar store cashier wife!

  • deimoas

    slipnot is dumb and bad.

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  • Ogrot

    Some key points to clear up.

    Super is a satire of the superhero action genre. You aren’t supposed to see Rainn Wilson as a natural action hero, because the film itself is a criticism about the genre’s tendency to romanticize and fetishize violence. Instead of the donning of the cape and cowl being the venue for growth of Rainn’s character into becoming a more actualized person, he descends into a madness of sociopathic violence justified by an ever more quixotic and draconian notion of justice where he is the sole arbiter. It is meant to have stark contrast between Rainn’s solipsistic, sentimental, and quixotic musings about justice and the stark violent reminders of what deeds those musings wrought. In many ways the film is reminiscent of Don Quixote as on the one hand Rainn’s attempt at bringing about an idyllic world of justice only hurts everyone around him as he obliviously overlooks the wake of destruction he leaves behind, while on the other his musings on the matter has a core purity and simplicity that reveal why this fantasy, though childish and horrifying in reality, is so seductive. You are supposed to feel uncomfortable it is much more in the vein of Nightcrawler in the feel bad film category as the audience is being confronted with its own love affair with tight wearing superboys who solve all their problems with violence that is sanitized to be bloodless and elegantly choreographed on screen, so that we don’t feel too terrible about ourselves.

    And while Super has stark contrasts on tone and bends genre a bit, it is decidedly a dark satire of the action superhero genre that was starting to boom at the time of its creation and still booms today.

    That said it isn’t flawless (few films are) I think Ellen Paige’s character was written wrong. Having her be a bigger violent sociopath than the Crimson Bolt lent Rainn’s character more sympathy than was due for him and took some of the impact from her loss away. Having her be a Sancho Panza trying to rein him in to no avail because she feels bad for him would’ve created more opportunity for comedic moments and would’ve lent more impact to her own death in the third act since she would have had more sympathy as the more down to earth person trying to do right, but getting killed as a result of the Crimson Bolt’s own revenge fantasies. It would’ve also let Ellen Paige stay in her wheelhouse as an actress as she seems to work better as an introverted and dryly sarcastic character than a maniacal fangirl. I think the character was written to be the living embodiment of the movie/comic violence fan that always raves, “Yo did you see that guy get cut in half by… that was fucking badass.” It was really is a bit too on the nose and Rainn’s character sort of already covered all the bases of satire for why people can be seduced by such a power fantasy.

  • Ogrot

    Also Super’s Budget is 10% of that of American Ultra and had an extremely limited theatrical release. It was likely envisioned as a direct to dvd niche project.

  • Jason

    It’s obvious without even seeing the movie that Eisenberg was cast in the role because he’s an atypical action hero, just as Wilson was. That’s the point: Mike and especially Jay are giving reasons for hating this movie that are equally applicable to both movies.
    Super may have been intended as a parody/satire of the superhero genre (whether or not the filmmakers successfully achieved that intent is debatable), but it’s clear just from the trailer that Ultra is also a parody, riffing on The Bourne Identity and other similar movies. So if satire is the justification for the excessive violence in Super, why does that not equally apply to Ultra?
    And, again, if we’re going to use Nima’s past cinematic crimes against him, let’s not pretend that James Gunn’s record is clean. Is “the director of Project X” really more damning than “the writer of Scooby Doo and Scooby Doo 2”? Yet, Mike & Jay didn’t feel the need to bring up Scooby Doo in their review of Super (that I recall, correct me if I’m wrong). In any case, they certainly didn’t hold it against him or the movie as they did with Nima and this movie. Hell, they took what seemed like 5 minutes just to bask in schadenfreude of Nima’s failure, but when it came to the commercial failure of Gunn’s Super, they instead blamed the movie-going public and idiot film critics for not ‘getting it’ (as caricatured in their review by what’s-his-name…the fat one…the fatter one…I want to say “Andy”? “Rick”?)

  • Alex

    I think both those movies tried to play with the hero/anti-hero trope, and both of them are thematically thin, almost pointless. Which would’ve been fine, if they’d at least had the decency to be entertaining.
    Another movie which is similar to those movies is ‘God Bless America’, I
    remember enjoying that one.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I think the distinction is that Super is satire of superhero films and superheros in general whereas American Sniper Hustle Gangster <Beauty History X Ninja Pie Graffiti Ultra is somewhere between parody and pastiche of action spy films.

  • Ogrot

    1. Mike and Jay never mentioned anything about Super’s box office results nor called other film critics morons for not liking it, or referred the audience as Phillistines for not coming to see it. They simply discussed the film in their review. It was one of the first few Half in the Bags and in those days they didn’t speak much about the film as a business stuff that much in those days. On a side note, if somehow the they in your last sentence isn’t supposed to be referring to Mike and Jay, then you should really clean that whole thing up, because there is no other identified subject that makes logical sense for the that pronoun to be attached to.

    2. Super did not have a nationwide theatrical release. At most it screened on forty screens simultaneously which pretty much means it made the arthouse film festival circuit. It was a far cheaper film whose business model was intended to make money off of dvd’s and Netflix royalties rather than filling theatres. Additionally, it was to be an avant-garde feather in Gunn’s cap as well as a film he simply wanted to make. So to compare it to American Ultra on this sort of business level is intellectually dishonest. American Ultra had a studio with national distribution to 1,000’s of screens in the US and 28 million dollars to pump in its budget. Gunn had a rinky dink 40 arthouse theatres at most from his theatrical distribution and a budget of 2.5 million to spend on the movie. You can’t compare these business models, because these are movies made for different reasons and thus define success differently for different purposes. Super an independent film that was more about establishing artistic credibility and making money or at least breaking even via dvd’s, Redbox, and Netflix. Whereas Max with his commentary concerning American Ultra seems to define success by being comparable in draw to large tentpole summer movies despite having only a quarter of the budget.

    3. Jesse Eisenberg’s character is a schlubb who is secretly a competent super soldier. Thus logically he should look surprisingly competent as a super soldier to create successful juxtaposition for the stoner schlubb persona that undermines that competency. Jay and Mike’s comments seemed to indicate that despite the graphic nature of the violence Jesse’s actioning didn’t seem to look like a competent super soldier thus you don’t get the necessary juxtaposition that the script was probably looking for. Rainn Wilson’s actioning is generally clumsy, idiotic, oafish, and amateur throughout, but that’s the point. He is a schlubb, who is secretly only a schlubb, who decided that beating up vagrants with a wrench in silly red suit would help him get his girlfriend back. He is supposed to be clumsy, off putting, and amateur. Anyone that went out into the streets with a wrench, a broken moral compass, and a lack of any actual training would suck. And that ugliness juxtaposes his character’s lofty juvenile fantasies, well.

    4. I suspect that the movie rather than borrowing from Super was more likely attempting to do a bit of a different spin on the Archer tv series. But instead of an emotionally immature alcoholic frat boy stumbling dick first into superspy competency it’s a soft spoken stoner who works at a convenient store. And meanwhile all the support characters act like a childish dysfunctional family despite holding high paying, prestigious, government contracts, with important responsibilities.

  • ChickenSandwich

    Oh hai Tommy, how is your sex life?

  • Anders Hass

    I wonder if Space Cop is going to be a bigger box office hit than this movie!

  • Rusty Galloway

    I feel like this movie just copies so many other movies. He complains people don’t like original movies but what he made didn’t really have much original in it. That action scene in the store looked like it was trying to be a Hot Fuzz copy. Movie doesn’t look terrible but his whining is making me less forgiving.

    As for Hitman 47, I cannot ascertain the high fan reviews it’s getting. Blood Money is one of my favorite games and I can only imagine how inept the film is at capturing none of the actual atmosphere that the game conveys. I expected the reverse, critics would be paid to think it’s passable with high negative reviews from the fans who should know better.

  • CaligulaCuddles

    Ascertain doesn’t mean what you think it doses. Also, it’s a terrible ten-dollar word that is completely unnecessary in the English lexicon.

  • Rusty Galloway

    You’re right and thank you for educating me.

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  • bassbait

    Scooby Doo was great.

  • bassbait

    I should say that the reason they bring up Project X is because that’s the ONLY other thing the guy has done, whereas James Gunn has done things that they have liked in the past.

    That said, never seen Project X or American Ultra or Super or even any of the James Gunn movies that they liked.

    I have however seen Scooby Doo and Scooby Doo 2. They were great.

  • bassbait

    took the words right out of my mouth. Even spelled “Slipknot” wrong for me 🙂

  • bassbait

    I fucking love Star Wars!

  • bassbait

    Landis is best at nepotism.

  • bassbait

    did they share a wiener at NAMBLA too?

  • bassbait

    well he did say he was a necrophiliac. But who wouldn’t?

  • bassbait

    Oh god what a horrible mess

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “Especially in an year”

    ‘An’?

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    Max Landis needs Rainbow, the Bereavement Clown.

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    Ascertain? The artificial sweetener?

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