Half in the Bag: A Good Day to Die Hard |

SomeoneElseTookDude

If I have to watch one more geriatric action star try and hobble themselves onto the silver screen I’m going to shoot myself

http://www.facebook.com/hdoodson Harry Doodson

Not looking forward to Harrison Ford in the new Star Wars? I hear it’s gonna be great.
- http://twitter.com/spiraltri3e Dean Kerrigan
  
  It’s gonna be great.
- Rick
  
  We’re probably going to go too far in a few places.
  - capitandelespacio
    
    Fuck you, Rick Burman.
    - William Shakesman
      
      Wait, that ain’t Rick Berman
    - capitandelespacio
      
      What is it with “Ricks”?
- Mr. T. Tek Nilp
  
  Shoehorning Harrison Ford into the new Star Wars would be like squeezing Leonard Nimoy into the Star Trek reboot.
  
  Oh, yeah, they did that . . . .
  - not funny
    
    The dentures.
    - http://www.facebook.com/gene.parmesan.927 Gene Parmesan
      
      What are you, an OandA fan?
    - not funny
      
      tss ts..I blow when it’s hot..or somethin’…
- Spam
  
  Oh dear, I bet you he ain’t shooting first this time.
  - wasgij
    
    How awesome would it be if they open the movie with a sequence of him cold bloodedly murdering some hutt in the street and then exclaiming “shoot first ask questions later,anyone who doubts that is dead by now” or something similar.Just to stick it to Lucas.
- celozzip
  
  maybe you didn’t hear, jj abrams is involved. instant shitfest.

Lopan

So it’s a circle meal?

durhay

The waitress won’t know the answer either, pal
http://www.facebook.com/alexander.simmons.92 Alexander Simmons

It’s a well-rounded meal.
http://twitter.com/egfraz Liz Frazier

It’s a triangle meal…with a bacon ice cream sundae.

Mark Bisone

Haven’t seen “Eat, Pray, Die, Hard” or whatever it’s called, but the trailer looked like the TV was shitting directly into my eyes.

Stop doing this “Die” crap and give us Hudson Hawk 2, you old, bald fuck!

DirkD13

You get an uptick for being a Hudson Hawk fan, you obviously have good taste sir.
Bruce Willis

My upcoming Die Hard indie hipster Die Hard movie, Jeff Who Dies Hard at Home, will appeal to an entirely different audience.
- Mark Bisone
  
  Whatchoo talkin about, Willis?
  - guest
    
    good point. Next diehard should return to their roots and take place in the Willis Tower http://www.willistower.com
    
    WTF happened to the Sears Tower… oh well maybe this gives Gary Coleman one last showbiz job somehow.
  - Dudebro Nate
    
    You remember that? He said that on the show.
    Whatchoo talkin’ bout, Willis?
- playdude92
  
  I think it´s time for a new actor for our “manly man” action movies. Might I suggest Tom “Die” Hardy for both Die Hard and Indiana Jones?
- zero_miles_per_hour
  
  How’s about Die Hardy Boys. Or, Laurel and Die Hardy.
  - zeitguest
    
    What about a Die Hard sequel that takes place at a Hardee’s?
    
    Halle Berry could play the plucky countergirl who helps Willis navigate through the service access sections of Hardee’s to foil the villians, Ben Stiller can play the jerky overbearing yet comical boss who meets his end in a horrible fry-grease fire, Neil Patrick can play the overdemanding angry white collar customer who betrays everyone else selfishly but ends up freezing solid in the walkin cooler, and we can fill in the rest of the ensemble cast with the entire cast from Freaks and Geeks… it practically writes itself now doesn’t it?
    - Robby
      
      I think in Die Hard 6, Bruce Willis should team up with Christian Slater, and it should be called Die Hard Rain.
    - JabelsJr
      
      Throw Prince in it and call it Die Hard Purple Rain – More Explosions, More Dancing, More Empty Seats in the Theater
- MotherPusBucket
  
  As will my teen social commentary Hard Times at Ridgemont Die.
- pigeontoucher
  
  John Dies Hard at the End
  - rrrrrrr
    
    Well, it’s stylistically designed to be that way, and he can’t undo that. But he can diminish the effects of it.
kenchun24

YESS!!! Hudson Hawk sequel now!!!
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=669493883 Andreas Bengtsson

Or let Shane Black direct a sequel to THE LAST BOYSCOUT!
lugubrious ghost

Did I miss something or was the ending kind of shitty… since when does Mr. Plinkett outwit/outsmart Mike and Jay in a family-friendly comedy fashion?
…Never mind.
- Howard Funfun
  
  That’s the Triple Cross? I think?
  - Lugubrious Guest
    
    Let’s count our blessings. At least they made an oblique admission to how much of a fail Prometheus was. Bring it Plinkett… but take as much time as it takes to make it perfect
    - Christopher Pendlebury
      
      The fact it is till discussed and a sequal awaited by all shows how much of a win Prometheus actually was.
    - Jigsaw
      
      Prometheus wasn’t a failure. It was just misunderstood by all those dunces out there.
    - wasgij
      
      No,Prometheus was not a failure.It achieves exactly what it’s meant to .it gives simple minded people an illusion of being smart because they like something that’s shiny and has an appearance of an intelligent movie but fails so gloriously when it comes to actual basic elements of movie making .But it’s enough for all you “geniuses” to pay for the movie ticket,dvd,blu ray,dvd and blue rays specials,directors cut dvd and blue ray,anniversary edition dvd and blue ray and “you people are suckers and will fork out money for any old shit we say is smart signed Ridley Scott” dvd and blue ray.
    - guest
      
      Hey it MUST be intelligent. It’s MYSTERIOUS. Like, if the village idiot staggers up to you and tells you a weird nonsensical inconsistent runon sentence story, it’s not dumb, it’s MYSTERIOUS, because you can’t say what it was really about.
      
      It’s not confused, it’s confusING. The story teller wasn’t confused, YOU’RE confused. It isn’t unintelligible, it’s just Not Understood.
      
      So we can see – clearly, a filmmaker can use literally any script they want or no script at all and the burden is on you, the moviegoer, to fit it into a coherent narrative or admit your own stupidity. In fact, the more stupid – I mean, confusING – the movie is, the greater the difference between yours and the director’s intelligence.
Leo

We NEED a Sixth Sense sequel!
- http://www.facebook.com/TimeToChewBubbleGum Jason Argus Matthew
  
  How many more do you want? Weren’t the First, Second, Third, Fourth and Fifth Senses enough? Geez. This series is the one that should be called Die Hard. Malcolm Crowe refuses to cross over.
http://www.facebook.com/deejaytaufiq Mohamad Taufiq Morshidi

They are waiting for the technology to improve before making Hudson Hawk 2.

With new digital technology, we can pretty much improve what i want to do. We have clones, and droids and flying termites and rockets taking off, flying gunships and hell troops. 200 Jedis. And then Hudson gets trapped in this Droid factory.

We see Hudson Hawk in large battle scenes like we’ve never seen that before, and a couple of Jedis fighting Hudson.
- whore hey loo cuss
  
  Oh I see what you did there! You did, like, another George Lucas thing, because he said that in the Phantom Menace Review. And you replied to the top comment, so that other retards might see it and “L.O.L.”, even though it ain’t got shit to do with the comment, the movie, the Die Hard series, Bruce Willis, Hudson Hawk, Hudson Hawk’s director Michael Lehmann, or any fucking thing at all. AND THAT’S THE JOKE.
  
  Thanks so much for the never ending stream of non sequiturs, fuckface! Please feel free to die of AIDS as soon as possible.
  - simple_jack1
    
    Your comment is so dense, every single word has so much going on.
    - Jan Kowalski
      
      Stop with this fucking comment already.
    - whore hey loo cuss
      
      Oh, man, that’s so fucking funny. You made a reference to something I recognized!
      AND THAT’S WHAT MAKES IT FUNNY. Just like Remember the Spartans, Disaster Movie and Scary Movie 3 and all of those funny, funny movies beloved by geniuses everywhere.
      
      Please shoot yourself in the head, immediately. You are simply too hilarious to be alive.
    - simple_jack1
      
      Lighten up buddy, I was only making the reference because you’d just gone on a vitriolic rant about how you hate references… It’s like poetry, they sort of rhyme.
    - whore hey loo cuss
      
      Yeah, no shit Sherlock. That’s why I answered you with a HiTB reference. I know it’s hard with all that mental retardation in your brain, but try not to get lapped too much in the little Irony Grand Prix were having here.
    - wasgij
      
      “No,my dick is bigger ! ”
      
      Every single debate in the comments sections of the interwebs.
      
      Not saying you don’t have a big dick.it could be huge for all I know.
    - simple_jack1
      
      Nice try Mr back track.
    - whore hey loo cuss
      
      “Mr back track”? Shit, no wonder you retards don’t do anything but parrot Plinkett and Lucas lines; your original stuff sounds like Napoleon Dynamite outtakes.
      
      Anyway, for all you aspiring trolls out there who want to know how it’s done, here’s the essence of the trick: *both* of my posts that simple_jack so wittily responded to contained obvious HitB references in them. In fact, I even CAPITALIZED THE REFERENCES, in the hopes that even the most brain-dead spastics out there in RLM-land would catch on. The main difference was, unlike their references, mine were in context and on-topic.
      
      Alas, the level of retardation is too severe, the chromosomes too far and few between. Someone will parrot another Plinkett line beneath this comment, and then giggle like a stoned Beavis, or Dax Shepard watching “Ow, My Balls.” O, I die Horatio.
    - simple_jack1
      
      Ooooooh you we’re trolling everyone all along! Oh well played, here I was thinking you were just a really angry douche attacking everyone posting a comment when really all you were doing was holding up a mirror to us and telling people you hope they die of AIDS. See, I was only posting those quotes because I thought it was pissing you off but now I see the joke was on me the entire time! I take my hat off to you good sir, would you like a Pizza Roll?
    - whore hey loo cuss
      
      Awwwww, it sounds like you’re little pussy is hurt. Sorry, little pussy. I hope you die of something much nicer than AIDS, if that makes you feel better. Have a brain aneurysm instead, Corky.
    - wikipedia
      
      Life Goes On is a television series that aired on ABC from September 12, 1989, to May 23, 1993. The show centers on the Thacher family living in suburban Chicago: Drew, his wife Elizabeth, and their children Paige, Rebecca, and Charles, who is known as Corky. Life Goes On was the first television series to have a major character with Downs syndrome.
    - whore hey loo cuss
      
      Good points, all, wikipedia. Now shut your fucking mouth.
    - wikipedia
      
      Personality disorder refers to a class of personality types and enduring behaviors associated with significant distress or disability, which appear to deviate from social expectations particularly in relating to other humans.[1][2][3]
      
      Personality disorders are included as mental disorders on Axis II of the diagnostic manual of the American Psychiatric Association and in the mental and behavioral disorders section of the ICD manual of the World Health Organization.
      
      Personality, defined psychologically, is the set of enduring behavioral and mental traits that distinguish human beings. Hence, personality disorders are defined by experiences and behaviors that differ from societal norms and expectations. Those diagnosed with a personality disorder may experience difficulties in cognition, emotiveness, interpersonal functioning or control of impulses
    - wikipedia
      
      A pedant is a person who is excessively concerned with formalism and precision, or who makes a show of his or her learning.
      
      The term in English is typically used with a negative connotation, indicating someone overly concerned with minutiae and whose tone is perceived as condescending.[4] When it was first used by Shakespeare in Love’s Labour’s Lost (1598), it simply meant “teacher”. Shortly afterwards it began to be used negatively.
      
      Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder is also in part characterized by a form of pedantry that is overly concerned with the correct following of rules, procedures and practices.[5] Sometimes the rules that OCPD sufferers obsessively follow are of their own devising, or are corruptions or re-interpretations of the letter of actual rules.
      
      Pedantry can also be an indication of specific developmental disorders. In particular, persons with Asperger’s Syndrome often have behaviour characterized by pedantic speech.[6]
    - simple_jack1
      
      Have you noticed how all his comments have one very lonely ‘thumbs up’? Almost like he was giving them himself after posting each comment… but nobody would be that sad.
    - whore hey loo cuss
      
      Wow! You can count pretty good for a “exceptional individual”, too! You’re still wrong, as usual, but only because I cast the other “thumbs up” votes on your mother’s Sony Vaio, while I was putting my thumbs up her rectum.
    - simple_jack1
      
      If you like sticking your fingers up peoples rectums I happen to be well overdue for a prostate exam… Just to warn you though, it can be a bit awkward sometimes because my orgasms are so loud.
    - whore hey loo cuss
      
      I don’t “like” it, really. That’s just the most efficient way to get her ready for a good, hard anal plowing. It’s still good to know you both share the same hobbies (though I doubt your own anal orgasms could surpass your mom’s soprano monkey shrieks).
    - simple_jack1
      
      Let’s get off the subject of moms… because I just got off yours! Buuuurrrrrnnn! Seriously though, you actually enjoy anal sex? I’ve heard it’s fucking shit.
    - whore hey loo cuss
      
      You just got off the subject of my mom? For fuck’s sake, Is there any joke simple enough for you to not utterly botch?
      
      Next time, try something with “Rick Berman” or “goongas” in it (like your mom’s p-tang Buuuuuuurrrrrrrrnn!)
    - simple_jack1
      
      Oh man, good one! You’re really on fire… Like yo momma’s pussy! Hahaha just kidding, I know for a fact she doesn’t have a venereal disease because she assured me last night. At least I think she was talking to me, I wasn’t the only one there… and she had her mouth full.
    - whore hey loo cuss
      
      Hahah! That’s solid gold, man! I especially loved how you used “venereal disease” instead of something pithier, to show off your amazing vocabulary. You’re like the Thomas Hardy of mongoloids.
      
      Hey, that reminds me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
      
      Because your fat, ugly, slack-jawed, cum-stained crack whore of a mother was chasing it.
      
      Get it? It’s like poetry, it rhymes!
    - simple_jack1
      
      To be honest I only used the generic term “venereal disease” because I don’t actually know of any and didn’t want to appear stupid… but thanks for comparing me to Thomas Hardy, that’s a real compliment! I thought he was the bestest Batman villain yet!
      
      Oh and your mom blah blah blah…
    - whore hey loo cuss
      
      I’m pretty sure you’re thinking of Lara Lynn Hardy (that chick who got raped in Egypt during Arab Spring Break). But that’s okay – point taken about your stupidity.
      
      And hey! You haven’t referenced a goddamned Star Wars review in ten or so posts, now. I think that’s what French cocksucking faggots call a “victoire-victoire.”
    - simple_jack1
      
      Is it just me, or is there some real sexual tension building up between the two of us?
    - whore hey loo cuss
      
      Hmmm… you might have a point, there. All the rape, the analyses, the syphilitic mothers, the French shit, the lame puns. It’s like I’m Marlon Brando and you’re Maria Schneider and the internet is a stick of butter.
    - simple_jack1
      
      Oh boy, I sure love butter!
    - whore hey loo cuss
      
      Shit, that would make a great tee-shirt.
    - simple_jack1
      
      I made this just for you…
    - whore hey loo cuss
      
      Sweet! I made you something too…
    - simple_jack1
      
      I love it, every stitch has so many things going on!
    - whore hey loo cuss
      
      LOL, you did it again! That seriously never, ever gets old – just like Bruce “The Juice” Willis in the Die Hard movies that we’re discussing right now in this comedy website thread.
    - simple_jack1
      
      Damnit I did didn’t I… I guess it’s like poetry, they sort of rhyme.
    - whore hey loo cuss
      
      Holy shit. HOLY SHIT.
      That post gets funnier EVERY SINGLE TIME.
      
      Do something about Ricks next! Type, “What is it with Ricks?” three or four hundred times. It’ll be funny because I recognize it – just like mom jokes!
    - simple_jack1
      
      Wait, a minute… this entire conversation has just gone full circle. We’re now saying the exact same things that we were before.
      
      I guess you could say…
      
      IT’S LIKE POETRY, THEY SORT OF RHYME!!!!
    - whore hey loo cuss
      
      Aw damn… the comedy quips are coming Fast and Furious now. What could be next? Even more poetry that rhymes? Ricks? AYBABTU. The M.C. Escher-like comedy spiral might be too much for my AOL 2.0 internet to handle, but I must try to hang on and gleam the cube.
      
      HERE IS A COMEDY CAT, TAKE THAT LENNY BRUCE WILLIS:
    - simple_jack1
      
      Hahahaha… cats r funny
    - themorphinetango
      
      This comment just won.
    - bananna hammock
      
      This whole reply chain is why small children get cancer, and why puppies are put to sleep. I hope you are both proud of yourselves.
    - simple_jack1
      
      I’m sorry
    - Your Mom Jokes = So Dense
      
      This is really happening. This peevish manchild is hurling excessively profane your mom jokes at what is probably a 12 year old in the name of being original.
      
      How ironic. Tell us again how you loathe unoriginality. Oh wait, don’t tell me. Don’t type out one more word. Just shut your dick holster and stop polluting the internet with your ill-advised attempts at wit and humor.
      
      Please stop taking a galactic shit here for all of us to read. The rambling of a childish shit clown are no better than the “so dense” comments.
    - whore hey loo cuss
      
      Three tomatoes are walking down the street — a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, and squishes him… and says: “Ketchup.”
      
      Ketchup.
    - simple_jack1
      
      How did you know my little pussy was hurt? We’re you the one who tried to put him in the microwave?
    - Bub
      
      Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
    - whore hey loo cuss
      
      Thanks for noticing.
    - nova
      
      Oh, you’re one of those people who actually enjoyed Idiocracy. It all makes sense now…
    - themorphinetango
      
      This back track is the most disappointing thing since my son.
    - wasgij
      
      Having a bad day?
      
      These “funny” comments are like cars before you when stuck in traffic.Don’t go all road rage.It’s not worth it.
  - capitandelespacio
    
    Stop wasting my time.
    - whore hey loo cuss
      
      I hope you die hard (of anal cancer).
    - Guest Who
      
      Are you talking to yourself with all these comments? Sure sounds like it.
    - whore hey loo cuss
      
      Well, I guess you’re talking to me, aren’t you, genius? It’s amazing how you can say so little and still fuck it completely up.
    - Guest Who
      
      Or alot
    - Guest Who
      
      I thought the point of trolling was to annoy ppl, yet nobody really seems annoyed except you.
    - guest
      
      Stylistically it’s meant to be that way and we can’t undo it, but we can diminish the effects of it.
  - Mark Bisone
    
    ATTN: whore hey, simple jack, wikimacallit, random nobodies….
    
    CAN’T YOU ALL CUT OUT THIS POINTLESS BICKERING AND TALK ABOUT A HUDSON HAWK SEQUEL!
    
    CHECK YOUR FACTS: BruWillz is gonna be dead of bald oldness soon, and then we’ll never get to see Hudson sip a fucking cappucino on film *ever again*. Can’t you all just put aside your petty differences and think about that for a minute? It’s a godammed fucking cinematic tragedy in the making.
    - simple_jack1
      
      As long as they bring back Sandra Bernhard I’m down for a Hudson Hawk sequel. I know she technically died at the end of the first movie but they could have it that she survived getting covered in molten metal and just ended up being horribly disfigured… they wouldn’t even need makeup either.
    - Todd Dandelion-Seedhead
      
      Omg stop spamming you homosexuales
    - Geser
      
      Reding the conversation between those two was like watching some really weird, really disgusting piece of porn from the debts of internets perversion. I did not enjoy it, it wasnt even amusing in that strange opposite good manner. In fact I was disgusted and it will haunt me for some time when I have to think of it. And yet I have to ask myself the question why the fuck I sat through the whole damm thing …
    - simple_jack1
      
      But was it as erotic as 2 girls 1 cup?
    - obriencj
      
      I just want to thank you for making these comments worth reading. I enjoyed every moment of it, and look forward to more from you in the future.
    - simple_jack1
      
      “Homosexuales”
      
      Hahahaha… Classic Todd Dandelion Seedhead.
  - Mr. T. Tek Nilp
    
    Whore Hey ruined Star Wars. Now he’s ruining RLM too.
- capitandelespacio
  
  It’s gonna be great.
  - http://www.facebook.com/deejaytaufiq Mohamad Taufiq Morshidi
    
    That’s gonna be great
    - simple_jack1
      
      It’s gonna be great.
    - capitandelespacio
      
      It’s gonna be so great that it is great already…
- jojo
  
  Your comment is so dense, every single word has so much going on.
  - http://www.facebook.com/deejaytaufiq Mohamad Taufiq Morshidi
    
    I may have gone too far in a few places.
- themorphinetango
  
  It’s so dense. Every single image has so many things going on.
Geust

Hudson Hawk 2, lol.
Anyhow, it’s more like Try (not so) Hard, or Die Crying (guess which one they chose?)
- Geust
  
  Wait, that made no sense, rofl…
  - Geust
    
    Cuz they did both (dammit, you used to be able to edit stuff if you were a guest on here, lol)

DirkD13

I hated this movie and I unapologetically love LFODH. Probably the worst shot and edited car chase of all time. We need one more to end on a high note as Rocky did.

Sequels with Numbers please

Rocky 6 was good, compared to 5. I also liked Rambo 4. Die Hard 4… not so much.
Am I the only one who thinks Die Hard 3 was waaaaay better than 2?

Ambro

Where’s the next Best of the Worst, you fucking hacks?

Bub

Don’t you see, they tricked you into not wanting the new Plinkett review anymore. Fucking hacks trying to weasel their way out.
capitandelespacio

That’s righ, Jay!
- Mr. T. Tek Nilp
  
  That’s rye, Jay?
Jay-dolf von Golden-Baumen

I’m perfectly fine with the new ensemble discussion. As long as the girl doesn’t turn into the Verucca Salt of the group, if you know what I mean?
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1380489884 Paul Barrett

Aren’t they usually two weeks apart? We’re not due another one till next week.

Guest

When the shitty theater I worked at

sharkinspace

I can’t believe they would do that to you!!

http://twitter.com/Junkers740 Chris Degl’Innocenti

The last time a Die hard movie came to my shitty theater we had fun with the marquee…

stolliosis

The Flop Protector is going to overload with this, “Fuck you Die Hard fans, it’s February.”

Rain

Perhaps today is a good day to die.

http://www.grayflannelsuit.net/ Chris Holmes

I can’t wait for the next sequel – “In Space, No One Can Hear You Die Hard.”

Mark Bisone

Maybe next time grandpa will be doing stunts with his colostomy bag hooked up. “Poop Hard or Die Trying.”
- Mr. T. Tek Nilp
  
  John McClane meets James Bond:
  
  Live and Let Die Hard or Die Hard Another Day?
  - Mark Bisone
    
    You Only Die Hard Twice?
  - Kenlin Bros
    
    You Only Live Twice and Let Die Hard Another Day
    - big bob
      
      Dying To Stays Hard, proudly sponsored by Cialis
  - Mark Bisone
    
    Die-monds Are Hard Forever?
  - Liquidus
    
    You Only Live Free or Die Harder with a Revengeance
    - http://www.facebook.com/johndivy John D. Ivy
      
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGfmfPYiO1w
    - http://www.facebook.com/people/Jubal-Biggs/686455551 Jubal Biggs
      
      There you go; that is exactly what I was thinking of when Mike mentioned Ben Stiller in a Die Hard review. Looks like Ben got the jump on RLM on this film.
- playdude92
  
  You guys really Try Hard.
capitandelespacio

Take Viagra And Die Hard.
Mark Bisone

Just to make all this Hollywood sequel bullshit more efficient, maybe McClane can fight Aliens and Predators on the Prometheus dude’s home planet, all while trying to reconnect with the future great-great-great grandson he probably would have neglected. Questions will be answered.
- not funny
  
  Also Gremlins.
  - guest
    
    And then at the end he can throw a huge diamond necklace and his buddy’s dogtags into the ocean and brandish his fists in triumph. This is gonna be great
http://www.facebook.com/TimeToChewBubbleGum Jason Argus Matthew

Tie-Dye Hard. Starring Steve McQueen as Thomas McClane. Summer 1968.
Jigsaw

We already have that. It’s called Lockdown. They fired Willis, though…

http://www.facebook.com/bigbobpataki Matt DeCostanza

what the hell happened to their repair shop

Dasby

It’s a VCR repair shop…they have one customer.
wasgij

Maybe the place ran out of ice for the beer cooler so they went to the shitty place.

Don’t worry,the ghost girl is making sure nobody disturbs the shop.

Mark Bisone

The other thing is, this movie looks like yet another example of the “divorced dad learns how to be a father again” genre that Hollywood keeps jamming down our throats. And it’s the second goddamn “Die Hard” movie in a row with that exact same fucking story.

JESUS HENRY JONES JUNIOR CHRIST, HOLLYWOOD.
THINK UP A NEW STORY.

http://www.facebook.com/deejaytaufiq Mohamad Taufiq Morshidi

Oh, it’s going to get worse.

With the rising divorce rate across America skyrocketing, pretty much 90% of Hollywood movies will involve a divorced dad one way or another.
- Mark Bisone
  
  Here’s a new story idea they can try:
  
  “Shitty, bratty, entitled children who grow up to be overpaid hack screenwriters learn to count their goddamn blessings and stop whining about daddy 24/7.”
http://www.facebook.com/TimeToChewBubbleGum Jason Argus Matthew

Yes, it’s a trend. Because of these family issues, it turns out Bruce Willis will be returning as John McClane in the sequel to Daddy Day Care and Daddy Day Camp called Daddy Day Hard.

http://twitter.com/bbhaver2 bbhaver

Fantastic ending!

Mike

wow, I loved when they watched sister act. such a cool eddy murphy movie

UnShame

wait why the hell didn’t he fire them if he knows they aren’t gonna fix the VCR?

capitandelespacio

Plot hole!
dellaroccokc

Unsubscribed
SoDense.gov

Fuck these hackfraudneckbeardedhipsterricks!!!!!1111
- Liquidus
  
  What is it with Ricks?!
http://www.facebook.com/deejaytaufiq Mohamad Taufiq Morshidi

Can’t wait for the Youtube video “Red Letter Media Discusses Half in the Bag”
http://www.facebook.com/TimeToChewBubbleGum Jason Argus Matthew

Questions will be answered in the extended blu-ray release.
againagain

Yeah and how come they watched Beverly Hills Cop 2 68 times, totalling a running time of 6800 minutes, if the ipad’s battery only lasted 600 minutes? So what, are we to believe this is some sort of a magic ipad or something? Boy I really hope Plinkett fired them for that blunder
Charles

Cause no one else will hang out with him. He’s pretty much paying for companionship and he knows it by now.

marko

Love the Dracula music!

Christopher Kulik

They should name the last one OLD HABITS DIE HARD.

not funny

Or :Shitty Sequels Die Hard
Yeppers

Even not as a joke, that is a pretty good title.
http://www.facebook.com/TimeToChewBubbleGum Jason Argus Matthew

Isn’t that the sequel to Sister Act 2?
- Christopher Kulik
  
  I don’t believe there was a SISTER ACT 3.
Juular

That’s… really clever.

http://www.facebook.com/bigbobpataki Matt DeCostanza

what the hell happened to their repair shop

capitandelespacio

“Live Soft Or Die Hard”

My hands are way too small

Nice editing Jay!

kekkon3n

I thought Die Hard 5 was great by todays standrads.

I mean the plot and the twists were moronic, but the action was great and the movie was short enough for it not to feel like it dragged. I also didn’t like the son of mclane, but I think he gave the opportunity to John Mclane to shine and fuck around. I mean it could easily have been that his son would have had most of the action stuff and be better at it, but it wasn’t so.

I was thoroughly entertained by this movie! Better than 4.0 IMO.

Pemberton

Someone please put together a 10 hour loop of Rich Evans grooving to Axel F.

http://people.ign.com/mrjjcims MrJJCims

Help! The beer in my Water Beer Cooler is warm and I don’t know how to cool it down!

http://www.nostalgiajunkie.net/ nostalgiajunkie

Die Hard: Die Even More Harderer

http://www.facebook.com/brad.mckenzie.357 Brad McKenzie

Aw, man. That ending was great lmfao

1337 Skeet

Thanks for the recommendation guys, I’ll be sure to go check it out in IMAX

http://www.facebook.com/thomas.m.morris.1 Thomas Michael Morris

Beverly Hills Cop II is on Comedy Central right now…masterful coordination.

http://www.facebook.com/shanesemones Shane Semones

Die Hard: Save the building
Die Harder: Save the airport and the planes
Die Hard with a Vengeance: Save the city
Live Free or Die Hard: Save the country
A Good Day to Die Hard: Save the world
Die Hard 6 (The Day the Earth Died Hard):Aliens invade. Save the universe.

Tim Isokivi

Euro aliens.
- Mike B
  
  They’re from Europa, Jupiter’s moon… The Europeans are Coming!
panman92

They already made Die Hard 6. It’s called The Fifth Element.
- http://www.facebook.com/TimeToChewBubbleGum Jason Argus Matthew
  
  You’re right. They discovered in that movie that the fiery anti-life force ball was the true Die Hard.

Johnny

Actually Ben Stiller is serieus actor. The movie Eternal Midnight is quiete good.
Well at least Iiked it.

Johnny

I wonder when there are going to make Space Cop the movie.

Mr. T. Tek Nilp

I’m not even going to watch this HITB. I’m just going to comment.

http://twitter.com/egfraz Liz Frazier

Holy Crap, Plinkett just burned Mike and Jay!

Derek

Nice Stone Creek Coffee mug in the background, I love that place.

mazzdef

And why did Jack destroy his Dad’s phone besides comical retort. Why would anyone know to trace John McClaine’s phone?

Dasby

The only reason that happened was to reference McClane smashing his own phone in the fourth movie. It was too stupid a reference for people to remember, and too pointless to be made. So it was necessary to put it in the movie.
- zero_miles_per_hour
  
  Poetry.
  - Dasby
    
    It rhymes. It’s gonna be great.

not funny

Mike’s girlfriend* is back!

*Jay

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=753345456 Octo Seven

Crude but funny.

not funny

I think it’s funny how a franchise that should have died as a trilogy is called die hard.

you really aren’t

Not nearly as perplexing as the Final Fantasy franchise. I mean is not the title “Final Fantasy MXXVCMXVII-3″ inherently ironic?
zero_miles_per_hour

But on the other hand, it definitely deserved to become a trilogy, so there’s that. Now, The Never Ending Story having two extremely unnecessary sequels, that’s funny.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=753345456 Octo Seven

“Hey, speaking of reference; have you seen movie?!” LOL Pythonesque.

Spencer C.

So much more entertaining than the actual movie!!!

Marvin Falz

I like that it looks like God’s pulling the hammer out of Mike’s hand. And I like that I never get the impression that you guys are scorners. So lettuce pray, His kernels have popped the third day.

Guest

“Scorner”, is that a new church word for heathen?
- Marvin Falz
  
  Good question, I’d say no, the word isn’t synonymous with “heathen”. What I was trying to say is that RLM’s humour doesn’t offend my (newly) found faith. They’re just funny using Christian images. In the Half in the Bag outtakes you can find one funny as hell delivered remark by Rich as Plinkett (the one with the Romans who didn’t forget the nails) and Lora Story’s great improv as hostess of “Christian monthly” with Yay and Mikael as guests. Stuff that makes me laugh out loud.
  - Bones
    
    Yep. There are tons of Christians who are pretty okay with their culture being satirized. Steve Taylor was one of us! But, you know. It’s a lot easier to notice the people who are screaming in rage than it is to notice the people who just lean back and watch.
    - Marvin Falz
      
      I think that those who scream in rage are those who are hiding their own shortcomings from others and themselves. They’re blind. But I must say there’s a line between art that is merely attacking believers and art that is provoking to make you think. (And then there’s art that exists just for the joy of the viewer.) I remember a video on YouTube showing Jesus smeered all over with poop. Where’s the critique in that? But at least Christians don’t rise to kill the maker of such a video.
    - opinion
      
      Haven’t seen the poop video but it could be a critique of the way most people abuse Jesus for their own agenda and don’t even bother to take a closer look at his teaching.Or a comment on the degradation of purity of basics of Christianity.Like people tend to project their own shit on things.Or a statement that true faith is not about symbols,images or statues,dogma and all that trivial stuff,because that is basically shit that detracts from the actual point of faith.
      A bit crude.
    - Marvin Falz
      
      That sounds perfectly reasonable to me. I think you’re right most people abuse Jesus for their own agenda as if Jesus was a personal wish fulfiller, just pray and he’ll give you what you want. That’s New Age teaching. It turns everything around. Now you’re Jesus or at least Jesus in training, cause New Age tells you that you can reach Christ consciousness and that the coming of the Cosmic Christ is our destiny. New Age teaches you’re God and the danger is that the human ego inflates to a point that it becomes dangerous to others: since you’re God you can do what you want using any means you want. Imagine everybody would believe that BS, then society would go down the drain. Then society would “evolve” into a state of everybody against everybody. Society would become a toilet named Anakin.
      
      Now I know that Jesus himself tells his Disciples they’ll receive anything they ask for in his name, but “in his name” doesn’t mean to add “in the name of Jesus Christ” to a wish. It means they’ll receive whatever they ask for in accordance with God’s intentions. Often people wish “God bless this”, “God bless that”, “God bless this person”, “…this project”, you name it, but forget that it should be the other way around, people should bless, praise God first and ask for guidance, for what God wants and then ask and thank for what they wish in accordance with His intentions.
  - Bones
    
    By the way, Marvin, welcome to the family! You’ll be receiving your katana and cyanide pill in the mail.
    - Marvin Falz
      
      Haha, seems like a suicide mission, doesn’t it.
    - Marvin Falz
      
      And thanks for the welcome!

shadow_hopper

everyone see the examples of set ups and pay offs?

kenchun24

Yo RLM gang…I think that even though AGDTDieHard is being released in February it easily could have been released under the “FUCK YOU IT’S JANUARY!” slot as well…because this check cashing excuse for a Die Hard movie was pathetic.Please STOP Bruce.

Bruce Willis

My next Die Hard film will be targeted toward hipsters and it will be called Jeff Who Dies Hard at Home (or Die Harden State. Not sure yet.)

kenchun24

haha! Nice use of RLM past hipster hate film reviews…
Bruce WIllis

I have to admit that I posted this comment twice, the highly upvoted one is near the top. It took a while to upload it, so I thought it wasn’t going to do it. And then I thought I would add Garden State, but then I realized it did upload it.

And I don’t hate hipsters, I just thought it was the most un-die hard thing I could think of.

http://twitter.com/RHComics RHComics

dammit whats that song during the tv smashing

http://twitter.com/jesse_hamm Jesse Hamm

“Popcorn.”

O. G. King Haggard

Do not like smart Plinkett.

Gaysauce

Fake Plinkett’s so adorable though.

http://www.facebook.com/deejaytaufiq Mohamad Taufiq Morshidi

Yay.

Gayass

What’s he reading…”getting head with dad” can’t quite make it out.

simple_jack1

It looks like a novelisation of the movie “Getting Even With Dad”

JoeJoe

M&J look rather trashed about half-way through the segment. #glassyeyes

http://www.facebook.com/TimeToChewBubbleGum Jason Argus Matthew

If they look high, it’s because Mike and Jay are currently filming the sequel to M.J.’s Moonwalker.

Gasiass

Jay, the first Die Hard had a black computer hacker opening the vault. or should I say, a computer hacker that was black, cause he hacked white computers… didn’t want to confuse you. Are you saying you didn’t want to see that part too???

Super Guest

Black? Do you guys feel comfortable posting next to a racist?
Jaleel

White? They prefer to be called caucasians you racist!

Kantorek

when is the new dudebros episode coming out?

http://twitter.com/closedmouth Annabelle

Saaahp

Gasass

I like Mike’s actors becoming zombie point, and Jay humoring that point as Mike drives it into the ground.

beavobeave

Skip Woods…. Skip fuckin’ Woods. I have NO idea how he keeps getting work.

jewbacca

if i have to see that fucking disney advery one more time, im going plinket on your ass

Jasoco

Disney advert? The only advertisements I ever get with this video host (RLM and TGWTG both use them exclusively) is for Virgin Atlantic. They’re annoying as hell and it’s the only company I ever see. And I don’t fly! So it’s completely wasted on me!

kenchun24

Die Hard 6 title and logline…

“Old Habits Die Hard” : Our hero (grizzled and beat up over the years) John McClane is getting checked into an old folks home by his son and daughter…just so happens to be on the same day of an Alien invasion!!!
The McClane siblings band together to help “good ol’ dad” stop the Alien attack and save the entire planet, galaxy, universe.

Oh and great “foley” during the skit Mike and Jay.

zm

killer episode, but why didn’t you talk about the third one at all?

qwerass

No mention of the dreary blue filter they’re putting on movies nowadays, and the America hate so it’ll sell overseas…

shuura84

Just watch Moonrise Kingdom after getting back home
Joe

Know what countries America hates?
None. America doesn’t hate other countries, which is the first thing wrong with other countries.
- Otherhand
  
  Mexico, Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Russia, England, France, Germany, China. And Canada.
Otherhand

They don’t put that “I hate America” thing in to make it sell overseas. That’s for you, so you’ll hate the villains. Do you think non-Americans will be rooting for the villains, because they say they hate America? That would be a weird policy for the studio.

SoDense.gov

How could they watch a 90 minute movie 68 times in a row if the iPad only had 10 hours of battery? Hopefully it will all be explained in Prometheus 2: Prometheus Harder.

http://www.facebook.com/TimeToChewBubbleGum Jason Argus Matthew

In Prometheus Lives, written by Kevin Smith, Shaw repairs David and he becomes her personal sexbot. But what Shaw doesn’t know is that David is capable of procreating, because it turns out Peter Weyland designed the android with his own DNA in the event Weyland should ever die of old age and need someone to carry on his line, further rendering Vickers’s reveal as his daughter pointless. This is all for the sake of answering questions, of course. There will also be black goo in it.
Lightning Fast

Plinkett can’t remember how many times they watched it. The Alzheimer’s….

http://www.facebook.com/Tensen01 Derek Hand

I will point out that this is the first Die Hard movie that was written to be a Die Hard movie. That’s the problem!

http://twitter.com/Death_Ray Death_Ray

So, Mr. Plinkett knew it was an iPad all along, BUT he was okay with his TV being smashed, AND he didn’t fire them?? And you have the nerve to condemn A Good Day to Die Harder 5!

You are so goddamn lucky your entertainment is free.

wasgij

It’s obvious he is lonely so he keeps them around under a pretext of being senile and not knowing which way is up.Also he is rich because guberment pays his medical bills.

Go Socialism!

pONgmasTER phong

Im still waiting for, Die Hard explosion 3d, directed by
Michael Bay

Leo

Has anyone seen Bruce Willis unenthusiastically try and plug this shit on the UK’s The One Show? Check it out on Youtube. Bruce tries to look happy and positive as he goes on a TV show to promote some film he couldn’t care less about as the two hosts fire stupid and inane questions at him such as “if you were fighting terrorists and (insert fictional terrorist situation here) happened, what would you do? You can see him dying inside. Great stuff!

http://www.facebook.com/allan.moza Allan Bøgeskov Jensen

When is the next Grabowskis season?

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=655701905 Corey Schaff

The ending was absolutely perfect lol

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=651820555 Vincent Emanuel D’Amico

Character – “You’re a scoundrel?”
Han solo “…part time..” – Star Wars 7

Hank

I wonder if Disney knows how much money they are wasting advertising on RLM, I might have gone to Denny’s but not if those annoying brats are there though. Oh well, more money for you guys is always a good thing I suppose.

http://www.facebook.com/markku.rantamaki Markku Rantamäki

Beverly hills cop II has the most awesome soundtrack Or it was when I was a kid and the movie came out…

Alex

When Mike says “didn’t this movie have some BADASS machine guns!?!” Jay just looks at him like “remind me why I hang out with you again?”

Heckmeck

A good day to laugh hard. Great review, funny filmmaking. Congrats & thanks!

James

Demi Moore, Karen McDougal… the good old days indeed.

SHIT FUCK

When Mr. Plinkett goes to get popcorn, the song Popcorn starts playing. Popcorn is a recurring motif in this video. Definitely symbolic.

FUCK SHIT

If you want some really profound symbolism from Mike ‘n Jay, check out the last few minutes of the transformers 3 review.
nebakhet

popcorn is a key component of Masonic symbolism

Guest

I feel partially responsible, I saw the first one like twenty times. If I knew what the consequences would be I would have bought tickets for “Dead Ringers” instead, and snuck in.

http://twitter.com/madhi19 John G

Same thing. Damn I miss the cheap theatre tickets of my youth. I think around the same period I spent most of a Summer watching movies in one of those 3 bucks afternoon deal.

http://www.facebook.com/elmo.tichelaar Elmo Tichelaar

Why? Why! I kept waiting, and you never discussed Die Hard 3! It’s my favorite one! God damnit! The second one sucked in comparison!

bananna hammock

I think Die Hard with a Vengeance is the most contentious of all five. I personally love it, and rate it right up there with the first two (of course the original is a classic, and in a league of its own as one of my favorite action movies ever). Jeremy Irons was great, Sam Jackson was awesome, McClane is absolutely wrecked by the end, and McTeirnan at the helm. Its rock solid entry in the franchise.

JDDD

I can’t wait for you guys to review that gay-ass Man of Steel movie!

Greg

Hey speaking of foley, if you watch the first episode of House of Cards on Netflix the first sound you here is a dog getting hit by a car. It’s the same sound from Cop Dog! I had to laugh.

die care bores

Fuck the “Care Bores”!

Beefwit

Happens to me everytime. dillydallying too long after the end of the video.
- wasgij
  
  I read “dildoing too long”.

http://www.facebook.com/TimeToChewBubbleGum Jason Argus Matthew

Did everyone hear? The next Die Hard film will have a time travel theme where John McClane travels back to the events of the first movie in 1988 to experience the action of the old days all over again. His younger self will be his partner this time. It’ll be called Rewind Die Hard.

Dasby

I heard it was gonna be called Die Hard…Again. And it would feature McClane having to avoid being seen by his former self as he spends his time making it possible for young McClane to survive without ever knowing that old McClane was involved. At the end you find out that McClane actually missed that one henchman guy that he shot in the head after shooting Hans Gruber, but old McClane managed to squeeze off a shot before anybody noticed.

Also Old McClane is the one who puts up the picture of that chick in the one hallway leading to the roof.
nebakhet

Die Hard 8: Everyone dies. John McLane is violently murdered in his sleep by his old nemesis, cancer. Returning from the dead to haunt the Nakatomi building, he soon catches the attention of the Ghostbusters. A 30 minute chase romp ensues which climaxes in McLane’s capture and imprisonment in the ghostbusters containment unit. There McLane learns that ghosts with german accents have redirected a planet killing asteroid towards Earth in a bid to destroy the containment unit. With the help of the Ghostbusters McLane is resurrected back into an undead body in an elaborate necromantic ritual. Undead McLane is then launched into orbit in a last ditch effort to stop the asteroid. In a dramatic plot twist we discover that Hitler has been behind everything. In the end McLane goes mad and eats everyone, even the ghostbusters and the US puts even more sanctions on North Korea.
- http://www.facebook.com/TimeToChewBubbleGum Jason Argus Matthew
  
  Funny you should say Dye Hard. One of my earlier comments was Tie-Dye Hard, a rollicking adventure in the 1960s starring Steve McQueen as McClane’s father Thomas. He has to stop terrorist hippies.

a name

the careboars should stop saving christmas…

wasgij

..but but.. how are we going to get our presents if they don’t save christmas ?

Eat it Plinkett

Probably one of the best endings to an episode of Half In The Bag ever.

searanox

Oh man, that ending was a cliffhanger of epic proportions. Was Plinkett just faking his senility the whole time? Did he get new medication? What will become of our heroes Mike and Jay? Tune in next week!

stryker1121

And in the trailer for the new GI Joe movie, Bruce Willis makes a cholesterol joke…because he’s old!

http://www.facebook.com/TimeToChewBubbleGum Jason Argus Matthew

Bruce Willis has trouble with his car battery in G.I. Joe: Retaliation. The scene will be called Buying a New DieHard.

Rick_Berman

This HITB episode had a better plot than A good day to die hard! And if you guys do another live stream just loop the care boars over and over, It’ll be great.

http://twitter.com/FinalBossPro FinalBossProductions

Hey Stoklasa, what’s with the energy drinks?

RED BULL

Yeah, he shouldn’t be any MORE energetic.

Terrence Fisher

“Horror Of Dracula” music!….Don’t you have to pay royalties?

thanksplinkett

Dammit … (youtube looping axel foley now)

Pixelsmack

End of the ep made sitting through the entire ep worth it! FUNNY! HAAA!

http://www.facebook.com/people/Ricardo-Cantoral/100001230861251 Ricardo Cantoral

Die Hard really is just a series that should have never existed. I enjoy the third film but I really could have lived without any of the sequels being made.

Mr. T. Tek Nilp

All Jay remembers is the naked Tai Chi. Hmm.

Howard Funfun

Right on! Confusing action set pieces that hold no interest because we’re not emotionally invested in the characters or the situation.

http://twitter.com/closedmouth Annabelle

Oh god, six whole minutes of plot at the end. Kill me.

http://twitter.com/bluehawk232 bluehawk232

Worst thing about the movie was when they get into the room with all the radiation and then some dudes literally wave a wand around and then say, oh yeah you’re good to go and don’t need radiation suits. What the fuck

http://acestream.com/ ACEdotcom

i like how rich evans plinkett has gotten lazier and lazier

Servo

Ooph. This is the first time I didn’t like a sketch in Half in the Bag. The entire end sketch is just awkward. Rich’s smirk, not making it clear that it was the iPad playing Beverly Hills Cop inside the tv, which made Mr. Plinkett’s whole trick come out of nowhere…

bitch cassidy

How was it not clear that the iPad wasn’t in the tv. Opening scene establishes Jay with an iPad, Mike breaks tv. Shows beverly hills cop playing on an iPad nested in the broken tv.

http://www.sunnystrangers.blogspot.com/ Bryan M. White

Do I get some kind of bonus points for noticing Plinkett’s umbrella strap stuck in the door at the end of the opening scene?

http://twitter.com/darius_sinclair Darius Sinclair™

Oh man. That ended was fucking epic! lol.

Kaos

I know this is dull but it is “who killed whom”…who is used for the subject of the sentence, where it is not the subject of the sentence, but the object, the word “whom” is used.

In this sentence the first “who” is the subject, but the second reference is to the object of the sentence and should be “whom”.

I know you don’t care, but I care, I am sad like that.

wasgij

I know this is dull but it is chaos and not kaos.

I know you don’t care but I..also don’t care…who does?

Beefwit

Shouldn’t there be klingons in it?

Jan Kowalski

But if they fixed the VCR Plinkett wouldn’t pay them anymore.

zero_miles_per_hour

Also, you can’t really see Beverly Hills Cop 2 over 60 times in only 10 hours. And earlier plot events hinged on Plinkett being unaware of digital media. Also, Plinkett could not have predicted that power outage, or that Mike would smash his TV and put Jay’s iPad there.

fuck u care bores

Fake Plinkett being smart is so wrong……almost “Care Bores” wrong in it’s magnitude of wrongfulness..

bb-15

Great ending.

As for the Die Hard movie, I haven’t watched one of those since the first one. But it was fun watching the guys tear this latest schlock action fest apart.

Bat Credit Card

Guys, if you ever plan one day, hopefully far, far in the future, to end this show, it must jump the shark in the most spectacular way. It must end in a glorious train wreck.

Ideas would include having a brand new, hip set, introducing a Cousin Oliver character in a bid to get more views, having zany plots such as Jay becoming a wizard, complete with Fantasia hat bewitching things, Mike turning into a were-chicken for no reason, Plinkett teaming up with Rambo, (a la Rosseane) and Mike fulfilling his true destiny and becoming a princess.

NoNewIdeas

Prometheus all over again.

Geust

This what needs to be done lol: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_HkyQkhwSs

againagain

The 7th Sense: Bruce Willis is Dead Harder

that guy

any one else find it funny how plinkett bobs back and fourth during the watching

http://twitter.com/Death_Ray Death_Ray

John Dies Hard at the End

dIEGO

best ending yet… I love it when mister plinkett proves to be smarter than he seems. I laughed so hard when the triple cross happened!

JohnFr33man

Oh wow, I didn’t expect this ending – amazingly funny!

HuevosBenedicto

I love how this film’s so over the top the fact that they travel from Moscow to Chernobyl in Ukraine in one night doesn’t even seem noteworthy.

http://www.facebook.com/daniel.mickley.3 Daniel Mickley

anyone know the song playing when Mike busts out the tv screen?

zero_miles_per_hour

I saw Die Hard recently and calling McClane an ‘everyman’ is insane. A much more appropriate term would be ‘supercop.’ I’ve seen this confusion a lot recently, I think it’s because he struggles with so much and shows so much humanity in that film, which is unusual nowadays. Lethal Weapon has a much better claim on the ‘everyman’ title, the heroes in those movies don’t improbably bust out phenomenal combat prowess and cunning like John McClane does.

Dasby

…wasn’t Riggs a kickass Martial artist in Lethal Weapon, who beats the hell out of Gary Busey at the end? PREEEETTY sure that qualifies as “phenomenal combat prowess” and their cunning is at least on par with John McClane.
John McClam

He never exhibits super action hero precognition that he does in later movies, like knowing just how to dodge an incoming missile, or throwing a car into a helicopter because he knows it’ll work.

He gets hurt, and it affects his abilities, which never happens in the later movies.

It seems like he *could die*, which couldn’t be further from the truth in the later movies.
- Arslan Amirkhanov
  
  Bingo. John McClane doesn’t know martial arts. Look at his hand-to-hand fight scenes in the real Die Hard movies. His fights are realistic(choreographed martial arts are fake anyway), and he gets hurt.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Adam-Cleverley/572565651 Adam Cleverley

Lovely shirt mr Plinkkett

Captain Prickhard

Still not eating at Denny’s. That food looks gross.

Plinkett knows they’re sandbagging now?

A Sound Editor

Guys, I am a sound professional who works in Hollywood. Foley is not ALL the sound that is added in post as you described. Foley are just the sounds recorded in a studio by Foley artists, things like footsteps and fabric/clothes sound. The two examples you mentioned were most likely sound design, which are usually constructed by sound design artists who use a sound effects library (this is especially the case with the punch sound). However, your main criticism seems to be how they were mixed (too loud), which would be the fault of the sound mixer. If the pipe sound was quieter in the mix, it might have fit perfectly. The poor sound implementation you are describing is in all likelihood, not the fault of foley artists. The point is, if you are a film reviewer, it is important to have a clear understanding of what role people play before critiquing them directly. Check your facts!

guest

You’re not seeing the forest through the trees, Captain No-fun.

Ross Bowman

Hey jay i watched die hard 2 and as far as the other sequels go it is a good movie. It at least seems like it exists in the same universe. I saw the latest die hard because of my love for varro from spartacus. I laughed through the whole movie because of how absurd it was, but at the same time they tried to tie it in with the original.

Anyway my point is your right die hard 2 is pretty good. It at least feels plausable and feels like it fits in the franchise, like the people that made it actually cared that it could fit with the original. These last 3 movies just buck the formula and turn it into cynical cash ins.

Also thanks for doing these i love them and will watch them for as long as you make them.

http://twitter.com/VaughnFry Vaughn Fry

Everyone is overlooking the key feature all Die Hard films contained aside from this one. There was always a central command to cut to. That’s why the pace is off in this one, they don’t have any scenes with the police, FBI, or CIA attempting to talk down the baddies or deride McClane.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

Hey, speaking of , have you seen Half in the Bag?

Admiral Bone To Pick

Die Hard 6: To Live And Die Hard Another Day in LA Harder.

Drew Hickman

The Novelization of “Getting Even With Dad” – funny

http://www.facebook.com/people/Jubal-Biggs/686455551 Jubal Biggs

Funny you guys knock Ben Stiller in an episode about Die Hard. He saw this one coming a while ago! (If the link doesn’t work look up Ben Stiller Die Hungry on youtube)
http://youtu.be/v8xZmKvkSGE

Wruce Billis

IM OLD.

GET IT?

…

LAUGH MONKEY.

http://www.facebook.com/balo.timar Baló Timár

You guys should see Dark Skies next. It’s a hilarious comedy, disguising itself as a horror film.

zachwulf

Have the subtle ‘dings’ during Half in the Bag ever been explained? It’s driving me crazy.

Faddlechud

Best twist ending ever

Mike

I pancaked!

deaconcole

For your next Best of the Worst you guys should do Die Hard knock-off movies.

I recommend Skyscraper, Blast, and No Contest.

Either way, you need to watch Skyscraper. It’s like Die Hard but inside a building.

leeory jenkins

The moment I saw the subtitle on the German Poster of the movie “like father like son” I knew that the movie would be shit.

nebakhet

“Hey you know that problem we were discussing about how to make the next Jurassic Park interesting? Well how about we have TWO T-rex in the next movie?”

“Oh that’s brilliant. The audience will be SO AMAZED!”

“I know! Last movie they saw one giant T-Rex! But now we show them TWO!”

“That reminds me of when you watch a movie with a big dick in it and then suddenly there are TWO dicks in frame AT ONCE!”

“…uh what?”

“DUDE WE CAN ALSO MAKE AN ALIENS SEQUEL WITH A NEW TYPE OF ALIEN THATS EVEN BIGGER AND MORE DANGEROUSER!!”

“OMFG!! THAT WILL BLOW PEOPLES MINDS!”

“Is there a bigger dinosaur than a T-REX???? You think we could get away with making one up??!”

“Hey guys what if the BUGS from the first Starship Troopers can now LOOK LIKE PEOPLE!!”

“OMFG THATS INSANE! PEOPLE WILL AUTOMATICALLY LOVE THAT BECAUSE ITS SUCH A BIGGER CONCEPT! IT SIMULTANEOUSLY WORKS WHILE NOT SHITTING ON THE WHOLE FUCKING CONCEPT OF THE ORIGINAL AT ALL!”

“Guys maybe we could create an ALIEN-HUMAN HYBRID?? for the next Aliens sequel??”

“We could create LOTS OF PREDATORS in ONE movie!!! Like 1000 predators on the screen at once??”

“But won’t they have to be ridiculously easy to kill for any of a team of 8 humans to survive?”

“That’s why we are giving the humans lightsabers. Also it doesn’t matter because the audience will just LOVE 1000 predators at once so much they won’t care. It’s like those movies where there are 1000 dicks all at once and you are like WOW so many dicks I can’t believe how much better this movie has got”

“…”

http://www.facebook.com/ben.brian.56 Ben Brian

So, Jay, what did you think of ‘It’s a Good Day to Live Free and Die Hard With a Vengeance’?

DanceK

When is the prequel to Half in the Bag coming? I want to know how two kind-hearted people became Mike and Jay.

E

Does every cunt on Redlettermedia’s discussion section need to think they are funny oneliner geniuses? How about a, “great review guys I can’t wait for the next one!” for fucking once. Instead we get the usual “its gonna be great, whats wrong with your face, Hudsen hawk hipster point fishing, or Die hard pun shit baggery. Jesus what a pack of cunts!

And oh, Mike Jay and all of RLM great show guys. Keep it up.

Mark Bisone

Great review of the reviews of the review, guy. I can’t wait for the next one!
- every cunt
  
  Hey, great review of the review of the reviews of the review guy I can’t wait for the next one!
  - everier cunt
    
    It’s gonna be great !
hey, faggot

stop sucking their dicks

http://profiles.google.com/charlesp2009 Charles Petrosky

SAFETY TIP: You should always be sure to remove lit sparklers from a television before smashing the screen with a hammer!

Bob

Star Command, I’m detecting high levels of happiness. There’s an entire Land here, with living cars. Now this is flying with style. Hmmm, alluring, Whauhhah, Great glittering galaxies,enjoy both parks all year with a Disneyland annual passport, now available with monthly payment options. I now appear to be lost in a deep dark cave.

LibertyR

At about 32:16 Jay looks like a werewolf without any makeup. He had the expression and the beard helped, haha. I found that hysterical.

Then I noticed Mr. Plinkett’s eyes were always closed when the camera had an angle from the side of his sunglasses. I wonder if Rich was tired from watching Beverly Hills Cop 2 the numerous times during the filming so he kept them closed to save himself from the pain.

http://twitter.com/CameronOharaLuv Cameron Ohara

Hahaha, you guys did good (even better than usual, that is!) on the comedic timing and editing~

Travis Doeding

The bit at the end was just hilarious guys. Thanks!

Mister_Misinformed

The satirical point of your opening skit (that film fans online unjustly criticize and write off movies they haven’t seen yet) seems undercut by the film you’re reviewing this episode, which is a good example of why it’s often okay for film-goers to write off a film they haven’t seen. People should be cynical and prejudge a film like Die Hard 5 and not give its makers their money. A running theme of Half in the Bag now seems to be how online film fans are unjustly critical (a running subject of Half in the Bag sarcasm from Prometheus to Dark Knight to Skyfall). Seems like since you guys make films for the internet and have to read negative comments about your work this topic has taken on undue importance in your minds. Fans being overly critical of mainstream action movies that make billions like Prometheus, Dark Knight, and Skyfall does not really seem like a phenomena which needs to be defended against with such repetitive sarcasm.

guest

Sure took you a lot of words to show that you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.
- Mister_Misinformed
  
  Meanwhile you can’t be bothered to put forward an argument of any kind. “You a stupid head!” Thanks.
mr. mister

“People who express disdain for these films often do so honestly and your assigning petty motives to them seems weirdly defensive for people running a film criticism show.”

You’re clearly new to the internet. They’re not picking on people that form genuine criticisms of movies. That should be obvious to anyone that’s seen more than 30 seconds of a Half in the Bag episode. They’re ridiculing the cancerous “every movie is the worst movie ever” simplistic hyperbole bullshit that’s gradually taking over the internet and making it harder and harder to have a real film discussion online. If you don’t think that mentality should be mocked, then maybe you’re part of the problem.
- Mister_Misinformed
  
  “simplistic hyperbole bullshit that’s gradually taking over the internet”
  
  Seems like you have zero proof this “gradual take-over” is occurring or harming anyone’s life in any way. Most movies being made are bad to mediocre. People being cynical about movies that are raking in cash hand over fist is not a problem. The makers of these films are not suffering as a result.
- Mister_Misinformed
  
  Why are people not allowed to hate a movie you like without you deciding their opinions are “cancerous?”

Shoehorn the elf

So the next Die Hard will be called, Get Rich or Die Hard and it will have Detective Die Hard Guy trapped on the planet earth and the euro villain will be aliens from outerspaaaaaaace! His sidekick for that film will be a spunky lil’ latin robot named Dora-Cell,and Joseph Gordon-Levitt will be Die Hard jr.

deerstop

2nd film is booooring. I never watched it till the end. My favourite is actually the 3rd, and hell why don’t people like it? =_= That’s unfair! I loved John McClane and Samuel L. Jackson together.

Meester Smeeth

I vote Karl Pilkington to be the “guy” in Die Hard VI.

http://twitter.com/GrantElicious Grant Butler

I liked 1, 2 and 3 but I was a kid when I watched them all last. I have no need to go back though, keep them as a great memory, like all those Steven Seagal movies.

Jarod

That punch sound effect with the Russian car driver was from the original Die Hard. Listen to the punch sounds in the fight McClane vs. Karl.

everier cunt

It’s probably the punch version of the Wilhelm scream…just filling his pipe and then..

http://www.sunnystrangers.blogspot.com/ Bryan M. White

Doo Doo Doo-da-da-Doo-Doo Doo Doo Doo-da-da-Doo-Doo…..

http://www.facebook.com/emil.stjernberg.1 Emil Stjernberg

That ending was amazing!

Andersen

What’s that intro piano music called? It always reminds me about “Gemini Rue”, which is quite a nice adventure game and features just the same music.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Ian-Haas/100000971156636 Ian Haas

What is fucking hilarious is your bad points for Die Hard can easily apply to Skyfall which you got on your knees and swallowed every ounce of gravy. “I want to see where our main hero has no idea what’s happening” “or he’s a confused old man” “Right you don’t want your main heroes only attributes to be he can shoot his gun at people”. What fuckin’ version of Skyfall did you see because I’m pretty sure it involved Bond not knowing shit about computers, having no gadgets other than a bullshit discarded pistol, fucks a victim of child slavery, and the entire theme being he’s too old. Oh…ohh…

Guest

What is hilarious is your bad points for Die Hard can easily apply to Skyfall. “I want to see where our main hero has no idea what’s happening” “or he’s a confused old man” “Right you don’t want your main heroes only attributes to be he can shoot his gun at people”. What version of Skyfall did you see because I’m pretty sure it involved Bond not knowing anything about computers, having no gadgets other than a quickly discarded pistol, has intercourse with a victim of child slavery, and the entire theme being he’s too old.

Guest

Oh and thanks for deleting this the first time I posted it.
- guest
  
  Ooooh I see. You thought your comment was deleted because you don’t know how to change the discussion order from “best” to “newest.” You fail.
  
  Also, there’s so much more to Skyfall than dumb, simplistic, “I’m too old” shenanigans and awful shaky cam visuals. A movie is the sum of its parts, not just its parts individually.
guest

Did you really think this comment was so clever that you had to post it twice?
Captain Prickhard

Agreed, especially about the sex-slave part; it was truly offensive. Also, I hate all chase scenes where someone looking at a screen with the chase on it (or being TOLD what’s going on via audio link as in Skyfall) narrates the chase: “He’s on the roof!” “Now he’s going here… now there!” I mean, isn’t that our job as the audience? Why do these action thrillers need people gawking at screens?

Anon

That Disneyland commercial is the worst thing ever.

Topdek

Bruce Willis has extensive podiatric surgery after the events of the first film in “Die Glass Shard”
Bruce Willis deals with erectile dysfunction in “Die Can’t Get Hard”
Bruce Willis battles testicular cancer in “Die Nard”
Bruce Willis has bypass surgery after an excessively fatty diet leads to heart attack in “Die Lard”

seppö

I watch Die Hard 1 & 2 every Xmas and I love ‘em! I even like the third one,even if the climax is a bit tacked on. Why did the authorities take Mclane and Zeus to Canada to stop the villans? Ah well, it’s action movie logic!

Meester Smeeth

I started watching Die Hard 4 again the other night and, I have to admit, it wasn’t as bad or as dull as I thought it was the first time I saw it. Sure, I turned it off with an hour or so still to go… does that make it a bad film? I mean, any film insecure enough to eventually flat out tell you, “Yeah, just switch me off if you want.” can’t be that bad, can it? I hate time wasters, and these kinds of films don’t waste your time because they practically tell you to fuck off. So you know where you stand, yeah? I like that.

DanceK

I noticed that they set up the Ipad earlier and then they used it again. GENIOUS!

http://profiles.google.com/charlesp2009 Charles Petrosky

You spelled it wrong.
- DanceK
  
  No, I’m pretty sure it’s spelled ‘Ipad’…
  - http://profiles.google.com/charlesp2009 Charles Petrosky
    
    Wrong word, guess again.
    - DanceK
      
      Geeeeeez, you’re as much fun as that Die Hard guy… John McDonald…?

http://www.facebook.com/waynehead Anthony Thompson

Good vid guys, as always!

Conor Harris

why are they back in the house? last time they where in the shop

Robby

Someone needs to make a flop predictor app. That would be fantastic.

mr. gold

The second Die Hard was garbage, entirely worthy of a Plinkett review. “Oh we’ll just shut the airport down, because you saw terrorists with GUNS in the baggage area. Quit wasting our time, McClane!” It don’t make no sense.

Jorge Locas

iPad batteries don’t last 10 hours! Plot hole!!!

fatpie42

Actually the most unrealistic thing in the second one was when the prisoner who the bad guys want to release manages to free HIMSELF from his bonds at precisely the point where he can then fly the plane transporting him. That was pretty damn unrealistic. Also the idea that the bad guys can accurately predict a snow storm that will consistently prevent any planes from seeing the ground during the whole of their terrorist attack.

Mike Hunt

I liked the part where there were pretentious and sarcastic commentary.

guest

I liked the part where your grammar was fucking terrible.
- liverpool4eva1999
  
  i liked the part were “guest” dies of face cancer
  - http://www.facebook.com/people/Jonah-Falcon/525044162 Jonah Falcon
    
    14 year-olds should be seen and not heard.
    - http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=599459594 Michael Little
      
      You just told yourself to shut the hell up. Now piss off and watch the ARTIST in your parents basement.
  - http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=599459594 Michael Little
    
    I like the part where you died of being a pretentious, internet-obsessed hipster douchebag who worships hack wannabe directors.

AlexJones4President1995

over 1 week and no knew video!? FFS guys they need two get there finger out and release new shit they could off at leased put out a traler or somethink i could care less what the contents are just treat there fans with respect we diserved hoe DARE you keep us hanging

guest

I guess this is supposed to be funny because every other word is spelled wrong. I guess?

http://twitter.com/SAULiO91 Saul Pearce

Hey, this review reminded me of Charlie Brookers’ Weekly Wipe – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxTPEd_Skfc

none

When is the next Care Boars episode?

http://www.facebook.com/jrpool1978 Justin Pool

A Hard Day To Die Good…

bruce willis

The answer to the question who thinks it’s necessary to make another die hard movie is : Andrew G. Vajna

Faradn

That’s one cliche that actually is true, not so much about beat cops, but detectives: when they’re working a case they are working 11+ hour days.

DanceK

I think Hansel and Gretel would have been much better in 3D and 50 fps.

whatever

sort of awkward format, you guys don’t look comfortable in front of camera. I find it hard to watch you 2. maybe its just me…

Tom

Die Hard 6: Hardly Anyone Dies

http://www.facebook.com/TharosTheDragon Kyle Delaney

Wow, Mr. Plinkett has the same kind of bowls I do.

http://www.facebook.com/TharosTheDragon Kyle Delaney

I’m pretty sure it would take longer than 10 hours to watch Beverly Hills Cop 2 68 times.

nintendozapper

“the guns are kept on the floor in Russia.” I haven’t laughed so hard in a while. Thank you, Mike and Jay. I needed that. Otherwise I was going to hang my self.

http://twitter.com/FabianWertek TheWordShaker

Bruce Willis has a son? Since when? Was he ever mentioned before?
They could’ve made it some old collegue of McClane and it would’ve been fine.
OK, he has a son now, who we’ve never seen before in 25 years of the series history. At least he LOOKS like the son of a action hero.

There should be rule 7. Funny sidekick.

He has one in all the previous movies. Not in this one. He has to be his own funny sidekick, which puts him in a kind of double-role.

And IDK about the uranium – but wouldn’t that have degraded in the 27 years since Chernobyl??? He hid it there before the accident – so that shit is actually older than the movie series.

One of my biggest complaints was the uninventiveness with boss battles. They fight a big military helicopter in the middle of the movie, which they escape by jumping out of a window and falling through some construction site. Then, at the end of the movie, they fight the exact same helicopter, which they escape by jumping through a glass window that just happened to be there, into a hall, which just happens to contain a swimming pool, which just happens to be full of water after 27 years of abandonment, which just happens to be non-radioactive. Fuck. That.

jd

He’s… always had a son and daughter in the movies. I don’t think you’ve seen Die Hard I or II…

http://www.facebook.com/people/Petrus-Laredes/555119066 Petrus Laredes

I wish they could have kept doing Mr Plinkett reviews. I really don’t like this format anywhere near as much. It’s boring.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=599459594 Michael Little

Pinkett is boring. So are the people who watch his videos religiously.

K.Leslee

Hey guys, this movie was filmed in Hungary and not Russia. Great video though.

Verenti

He wasn’t even “stuck in Russia”, because they went to Ukraine. So stuck in the CIS?

http://twitter.com/SuperSunshine21 ダニ　ダール

“I don’t know, I pancaked” made me laugh and feel immature, like a fetus

john

“going to be worst than AIDs”. this movie fits that.

Sound guy

Pro tip:Foley are technically “sound effects” (though, sound guys will most likely not call foley SFX, to save confusion), but SFX are not foley.

Foley is what people perform “live” along with props and record. “All the sounds” definitely are not foley.

Gun clicks are foley
Punches are not foley
Dialog/ADR are definitely not foley

Half in the Bag: A Good Day to Die Hard

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