Half in the Bag: A Good Day to Die Hard

February 22, 2013432 Comments

Mike and Jay discuss Bruce Willis’ latest paycheck. Meanwhile, Mr. Plinkett puts his foot down about the progress of his VCR repair.

Filed in: General UpdatesHalf in the Bag

  • SomeoneElseTookDude

    If I have to watch one more geriatric action star try and hobble themselves onto the silver screen I’m going to shoot myself

  • Lopan

    So it’s a circle meal?

  • Mark Bisone

    Haven’t seen “Eat, Pray, Die, Hard” or whatever it’s called, but the trailer looked like the TV was shitting directly into my eyes.

    Stop doing this “Die” crap and give us Hudson Hawk 2, you old, bald fuck!

  • DirkD13

    I hated this movie and I unapologetically love LFODH. Probably the worst shot and edited car chase of all time. We need one more to end on a high note as Rocky did.

  • Ambro

    Where’s the next Best of the Worst, you fucking hacks?

  • DirkD13

    You get an uptick for being a Hudson Hawk fan, you obviously have good taste sir.

  • Guest

    When the shitty theater I worked at

  • The last time a Die hard movie came to my shitty theater we had fun with the marquee…

  • Bub

    Don’t you see, they tricked you into not wanting the new Plinkett review anymore. Fucking hacks trying to weasel their way out.

  • stolliosis

    The Flop Protector is going to overload with this, “Fuck you Die Hard fans, it’s February.”

  • Rain

    Perhaps today is a good day to die.

  • Not looking forward to Harrison Ford in the new Star Wars? I hear it’s gonna be great.

  • I can’t wait for the next sequel – “In Space, No One Can Hear You Die Hard.”

  • durhay

    The waitress won’t know the answer either, pal

  • It’s gonna be great.

  • what the hell happened to their repair shop

  • Rick

    We’re probably going to go too far in a few places.

  • Mark Bisone

    The other thing is, this movie looks like yet another example of the “divorced dad learns how to be a father again” genre that Hollywood keeps jamming down our throats. And it’s the second goddamn “Die Hard” movie in a row with that exact same fucking story.


  • Fantastic ending!

  • Mike

    wow, I loved when they watched sister act. such a cool eddy murphy movie

  • UnShame

    wait why the hell didn’t he fire them if he knows they aren’t gonna fix the VCR?

  • marko

    Love the Dracula music!

  • Christopher Kulik

    They should name the last one OLD HABITS DIE HARD.

  • what the hell happened to their repair shop

  • capitandelespacio

    “Live Soft Or Die Hard”

  • My hands are way too small

    Nice editing Jay!

  • kekkon3n

    I thought Die Hard 5 was great by todays standrads.

    I mean the plot and the twists were moronic, but the action was great and the movie was short enough for it not to feel like it dragged. I also didn’t like the son of mclane, but I think he gave the opportunity to John Mclane to shine and fuck around. I mean it could easily have been that his son would have had most of the action stuff and be better at it, but it wasn’t so.

    I was thoroughly entertained by this movie! Better than 4.0 IMO.

  • capitandelespacio

    Plot hole!

  • Pemberton

    Someone please put together a 10 hour loop of Rich Evans grooving to Axel F.

  • Help! The beer in my Water Beer Cooler is warm and I don’t know how to cool it down!

  • Die Hard: Die Even More Harderer

  • Aw, man. That ending was great lmfao

  • Mark Bisone

    Maybe next time grandpa will be doing stunts with his colostomy bag hooked up. “Poop Hard or Die Trying.”

  • 1337 Skeet

    Thanks for the recommendation guys, I’ll be sure to go check it out in IMAX

  • Beverly Hills Cop II is on Comedy Central right now…masterful coordination.

  • Die Hard: Save the building
    Die Harder: Save the airport and the planes
    Die Hard with a Vengeance: Save the city
    Live Free or Die Hard: Save the country
    A Good Day to Die Hard: Save the world
    Die Hard 6 (The Day the Earth Died Hard):Aliens invade. Save the universe.

  • Johnny

    Actually Ben Stiller is serieus actor. The movie Eternal Midnight is quiete good.
    Well at least Iiked it.

  • Mr. T. Tek Nilp

    John McClane meets James Bond:

    Live and Let Die Hard or Die Hard Another Day?

  • Johnny

    I wonder when there are going to make Space Cop the movie.

  • capitandelespacio

    Fuck you, Rick Burman.

  • capitandelespacio

    That’s righ, Jay!

  • Mr. T. Tek Nilp

    Shoehorning Harrison Ford into the new Star Wars would be like squeezing Leonard Nimoy into the Star Trek reboot.

    Oh, yeah, they did that . . . .

  • Mr. T. Tek Nilp

    I’m not even going to watch this HITB. I’m just going to comment.

  • Mark Bisone

    You Only Die Hard Twice?

  • Holy Crap, Plinkett just burned Mike and Jay!

  • Derek

    Nice Stone Creek Coffee mug in the background, I love that place.

  • mazzdef

    And why did Jack destroy his Dad’s phone besides comical retort. Why would anyone know to trace John McClaine’s phone?

  • Kenlin Bros

    You Only Live Twice and Let Die Hard Another Day

  • Sequels with Numbers please

    Rocky 6 was good, compared to 5. I also liked Rambo 4. Die Hard 4… not so much.
    Am I the only one who thinks Die Hard 3 was waaaaay better than 2?

  • capitandelespacio

    Take Viagra And Die Hard.

  • Mark Bisone

    Just to make all this Hollywood sequel bullshit more efficient, maybe McClane can fight Aliens and Predators on the Prometheus dude’s home planet, all while trying to reconnect with the future great-great-great grandson he probably would have neglected. Questions will be answered.

  • not funny

    Mike’s girlfriend* is back!


  • not funny

    Also Gremlins.

  • Dasby

    The only reason that happened was to reference McClane smashing his own phone in the fourth movie. It was too stupid a reference for people to remember, and too pointless to be made. So it was necessary to put it in the movie.

  • not funny

    The dentures.

  • not funny

    I think it’s funny how a franchise that should have died as a trilogy is called die hard.

  • not funny

    Or :Shitty Sequels Die Hard

  • Dasby

    It’s a VCR repair shop…they have one customer.

  • Mark Bisone

    Die-monds Are Hard Forever?

  • Crude but funny.

  • “Hey, speaking of reference; have you seen movie?!” LOL Pythonesque.

  • Spencer C.

    So much more entertaining than the actual movie!!!

  • big bob

    Dying To Stays Hard, proudly sponsored by Cialis

  • dellaroccokc


  • sharkinspace

    I can’t believe they would do that to you!!

  • Marvin Falz

    I like that it looks like God’s pulling the hammer out of Mike’s hand. And I like that I never get the impression that you guys are scorners. So lettuce pray, His kernels have popped the third day.

  • shadow_hopper

    everyone see the examples of set ups and pay offs?

  • kenchun24

    Yo RLM gang…I think that even though AGDTDieHard is being released in February it easily could have been released under the “FUCK YOU IT’S JANUARY!” slot as well…because this check cashing excuse for a Die Hard movie was pathetic.Please STOP Bruce.

  • What are you, an OandA fan?

  • It’s a well-rounded meal.

  • Bruce Willis

    My upcoming Die Hard indie hipster Die Hard movie, Jeff Who Dies Hard at Home, will appeal to an entirely different audience.

  • Bruce Willis

    My next Die Hard film will be targeted toward hipsters and it will be called Jeff Who Dies Hard at Home (or Die Harden State. Not sure yet.)

  • Yeppers

    Even not as a joke, that is a pretty good title.

  • dammit whats that song during the tv smashing

  • kenchun24

    haha! Nice use of RLM past hipster hate film reviews…

  • kenchun24

    YESS!!! Hudson Hawk sequel now!!!

  • O. G. King Haggard

    Do not like smart Plinkett.

  • Yay.

  • Tim Isokivi

    Euro aliens.

  • Or let Shane Black direct a sequel to THE LAST BOYSCOUT!

  • Mark Bisone

    Whatchoo talkin about, Willis?

  • Gayass

    What’s he reading…”getting head with dad” can’t quite make it out.

  • JoeJoe

    M&J look rather trashed about half-way through the segment. #glassyeyes

  • Gasiass

    Jay, the first Die Hard had a black computer hacker opening the vault. or should I say, a computer hacker that was black, cause he hacked white computers… didn’t want to confuse you. Are you saying you didn’t want to see that part too???

  • Kantorek

    when is the new dudebros episode coming out?

  • Gasass

    I like Mike’s actors becoming zombie point, and Jay humoring that point as Mike drives it into the ground.

  • lugubrious ghost

    Did I miss something or was the ending kind of shitty… since when does Mr. Plinkett outwit/outsmart Mike and Jay in a family-friendly comedy fashion?
    …Never mind.

  • beavobeave

    Skip Woods…. Skip fuckin’ Woods. I have NO idea how he keeps getting work.

  • jewbacca

    if i have to see that fucking disney advery one more time, im going plinket on your ass

  • SoDense.gov

    Fuck these hackfraudneckbeardedhipsterricks!!!!!1111

  • kenchun24

    Die Hard 6 title and logline…

    “Old Habits Die Hard” : Our hero (grizzled and beat up over the years) John McClane is getting checked into an old folks home by his son and daughter…just so happens to be on the same day of an Alien invasion!!!
    The McClane siblings band together to help “good ol’ dad” stop the Alien attack and save the entire planet, galaxy, universe.

    Oh and great “foley” during the skit Mike and Jay.

  • zm

    killer episode, but why didn’t you talk about the third one at all?

  • Spam

    Oh dear, I bet you he ain’t shooting first this time.

  • qwerass

    No mention of the dreary blue filter they’re putting on movies nowadays, and the America hate so it’ll sell overseas…

  • SoDense.gov

    How could they watch a 90 minute movie 68 times in a row if the iPad only had 10 hours of battery? Hopefully it will all be explained in Prometheus 2: Prometheus Harder.

  • I will point out that this is the first Die Hard movie that was written to be a Die Hard movie. That’s the problem!

  • So, Mr. Plinkett knew it was an iPad all along, BUT he was okay with his TV being smashed, AND he didn’t fire them?? And you have the nerve to condemn A Good Day to Die Harder 5!

    You are so goddamn lucky your entertainment is free.

  • Leo

    We NEED a Sixth Sense sequel!

  • pONgmasTER phong

    Im still waiting for, Die Hard explosion 3d, directed by
    Michael Bay

  • Leo

    Has anyone seen Bruce Willis unenthusiastically try and plug this shit on the UK’s The One Show? Check it out on Youtube. Bruce tries to look happy and positive as he goes on a TV show to promote some film he couldn’t care less about as the two hosts fire stupid and inane questions at him such as “if you were fighting terrorists and (insert fictional terrorist situation here) happened, what would you do? You can see him dying inside. Great stuff!

  • When is the next Grabowskis season?

  • The ending was absolutely perfect lol

  • Character – “You’re a scoundrel?”
    Han solo “…part time..” – Star Wars 7

  • Hank

    I wonder if Disney knows how much money they are wasting advertising on RLM, I might have gone to Denny’s but not if those annoying brats are there though. Oh well, more money for you guys is always a good thing I suppose.

  • Beverly hills cop II has the most awesome soundtrack 🙂 Or it was when I was a kid and the movie came out…

  • panman92

    They already made Die Hard 6. It’s called The Fifth Element.

  • Alex

    When Mike says “didn’t this movie have some BADASS machine guns!?!” Jay just looks at him like “remind me why I hang out with you again?”

  • Heckmeck

    A good day to laugh hard. Great review, funny filmmaking. Congrats & thanks!

  • James

    Demi Moore, Karen McDougal… the good old days indeed.


    When Mr. Plinkett goes to get popcorn, the song Popcorn starts playing. Popcorn is a recurring motif in this video. Definitely symbolic.

  • Guest

    I feel partially responsible, I saw the first one like twenty times. If I knew what the consequences would be I would have bought tickets for “Dead Ringers” instead, and snuck in.

  • Can’t wait for the Youtube video “Red Letter Media Discusses Half in the Bag”

  • Oh, it’s going to get worse.

    With the rising divorce rate across America skyrocketing, pretty much 90% of Hollywood movies will involve a divorced dad one way or another.

  • Why? Why! I kept waiting, and you never discussed Die Hard 3! It’s my favorite one! God damnit! The second one sucked in comparison!

  • They are waiting for the technology to improve before making Hudson Hawk 2.

    With new digital technology, we can pretty much improve what i want to do. We have clones, and droids and flying termites and rockets taking off, flying gunships and hell troops. 200 Jedis. And then Hudson gets trapped in this Droid factory.

    We see Hudson Hawk in large battle scenes like we’ve never seen that before, and a couple of Jedis fighting Hudson.

  • Guest

    “Scorner”, is that a new church word for heathen?

  • Liquidus

    You Only Live Free or Die Harder with a Revengeance

  • Liquidus

    What is it with Ricks?!

  • JDDD

    I can’t wait for you guys to review that gay-ass Man of Steel movie!

  • Greg

    Hey speaking of foley, if you watch the first episode of House of Cards on Netflix the first sound you here is a dog getting hit by a car. It’s the same sound from Cop Dog! I had to laugh.

  • bananna hammock

    I think Die Hard with a Vengeance is the most contentious of all five. I personally love it, and rate it right up there with the first two (of course the original is a classic, and in a league of its own as one of my favorite action movies ever). Jeremy Irons was great, Sam Jackson was awesome, McClane is absolutely wrecked by the end, and McTeirnan at the helm. Its rock solid entry in the franchise.


    If you want some really profound symbolism from Mike ‘n Jay, check out the last few minutes of the transformers 3 review.

  • not funny

    tss ts..I blow when it’s hot..or somethin’…

  • you really aren’t

    Not nearly as perplexing as the Final Fantasy franchise. I mean is not the title “Final Fantasy MXXVCMXVII-3” inherently ironic?

  • whore hey loo cuss

    Oh I see what you did there! You did, like, another George Lucas thing, because he said that in the Phantom Menace Review. And you replied to the top comment, so that other retards might see it and “L.O.L.”, even though it ain’t got shit to do with the comment, the movie, the Die Hard series, Bruce Willis, Hudson Hawk, Hudson Hawk’s director Michael Lehmann, or any fucking thing at all. AND THAT’S THE JOKE.

    Thanks so much for the never ending stream of non sequiturs, fuckface! Please feel free to die of AIDS as soon as possible.

  • Mark Bisone

    Here’s a new story idea they can try:

    “Shitty, bratty, entitled children who grow up to be overpaid hack screenwriters learn to count their goddamn blessings and stop whining about daddy 24/7.”

  • How many more do you want? Weren’t the First, Second, Third, Fourth and Fifth Senses enough? Geez. This series is the one that should be called Die Hard. Malcolm Crowe refuses to cross over.

  • Tie-Dye Hard. Starring Steve McQueen as Thomas McClane. Summer 1968.

  • die care bores

    Fuck the “Care Bores”!

  • In Prometheus Lives, written by Kevin Smith, Shaw repairs David and he becomes her personal sexbot. But what Shaw doesn’t know is that David is capable of procreating, because it turns out Peter Weyland designed the android with his own DNA in the event Weyland should ever die of old age and need someone to carry on his line, further rendering Vickers’s reveal as his daughter pointless. This is all for the sake of answering questions, of course. There will also be black goo in it.

  • Isn’t that the sequel to Sister Act 2?

  • Questions will be answered in the extended blu-ray release.

  • You’re right. They discovered in that movie that the fiery anti-life force ball was the true Die Hard.

  • Yes, it’s a trend. Because of these family issues, it turns out Bruce Willis will be returning as John McClane in the sequel to Daddy Day Care and Daddy Day Camp called Daddy Day Hard.

  • Did everyone hear? The next Die Hard film will have a time travel theme where John McClane travels back to the events of the first movie in 1988 to experience the action of the old days all over again. His younger self will be his partner this time. It’ll be called Rewind Die Hard.

  • It’s a triangle meal…with a bacon ice cream sundae.

  • If they look high, it’s because Mike and Jay are currently filming the sequel to M.J.’s Moonwalker.

  • a name

    the careboars should stop saving christmas…

  • Eat it Plinkett

    Probably one of the best endings to an episode of Half In The Bag ever.

  • searanox

    Oh man, that ending was a cliffhanger of epic proportions. Was Plinkett just faking his senility the whole time? Did he get new medication? What will become of our heroes Mike and Jay? Tune in next week!

  • stryker1121

    And in the trailer for the new GI Joe movie, Bruce Willis makes a cholesterol joke…because he’s old!

  • Rick_Berman

    This HITB episode had a better plot than A good day to die hard! And if you guys do another live stream just loop the care boars over and over, It’ll be great.

  • Bruce Willis has trouble with his car battery in G.I. Joe: Retaliation. The scene will be called Buying a New DieHard.

  • Hey Stoklasa, what’s with the energy drinks?

  • Terrence Fisher

    “Horror Of Dracula” music!….Don’t you have to pay royalties?

  • thanksplinkett

    Dammit … (youtube looping axel foley now)

  • Pixelsmack

    End of the ep made sitting through the entire ep worth it! FUNNY! HAAA!

  • Die Hard really is just a series that should have never existed. I enjoy the third film but I really could have lived without any of the sequels being made.

  • Mr. T. Tek Nilp

    All Jay remembers is the naked Tai Chi. Hmm.

  • Howard Funfun

    That’s the Triple Cross? I think?

  • Howard Funfun

    Right on! Confusing action set pieces that hold no interest because we’re not emotionally invested in the characters or the situation.

  • Oh god, six whole minutes of plot at the end. Kill me.

  • simple_jack1

    Your comment is so dense, every single word has so much going on.

  • Saaahp

  • guest

    good point. Next diehard should return to their roots and take place in the Willis Tower http://www.willistower.com

    WTF happened to the Sears Tower… oh well maybe this gives Gary Coleman one last showbiz job somehow.

  • simple_jack1

    It looks like a novelisation of the movie “Getting Even With Dad”

  • Lugubrious Guest

    Let’s count our blessings. At least they made an oblique admission to how much of a fail Prometheus was. Bring it Plinkett… but take as much time as it takes to make it perfect

  • Worst thing about the movie was when they get into the room with all the radiation and then some dudes literally wave a wand around and then say, oh yeah you’re good to go and don’t need radiation suits. What the fuck

  • Gaysauce

    Fake Plinkett’s so adorable though.

  • i like how rich evans plinkett has gotten lazier and lazier

  • Servo

    Ooph. This is the first time I didn’t like a sketch in Half in the Bag. The entire end sketch is just awkward. Rich’s smirk, not making it clear that it was the iPad playing Beverly Hills Cop inside the tv, which made Mr. Plinkett’s whole trick come out of nowhere…

  • Do I get some kind of bonus points for noticing Plinkett’s umbrella strap stuck in the door at the end of the opening scene?

  • Oh man. That ended was fucking epic! lol.

  • Kaos

    I know this is dull but it is “who killed whom”…who is used for the subject of the sentence, where it is not the subject of the sentence, but the object, the word “whom” is used.

    In this sentence the first “who” is the subject, but the second reference is to the object of the sentence and should be “whom”.

    I know you don’t care, but I care, I am sad like that.

  • Beefwit

    Happens to me everytime. dillydallying too long after the end of the video.

  • Beefwit

    Shouldn’t there be klingons in it?

  • Jan Kowalski

    Stop with this fucking comment already.

  • Jan Kowalski

    But if they fixed the VCR Plinkett wouldn’t pay them anymore.

  • Super Guest

    Black? Do you guys feel comfortable posting next to a racist?

  • playdude92

    I think it´s time for a new actor for our “manly man” action movies. Might I suggest Tom “Die” Hardy for both Die Hard and Indiana Jones?

  • fuck u care bores

    Fake Plinkett being smart is so wrong……almost “Care Bores” wrong in it’s magnitude of wrongfulness..

  • playdude92

    You guys really Try Hard.

  • Christopher Pendlebury

    The fact it is till discussed and a sequal awaited by all shows how much of a win Prometheus actually was.

  • bb-15

    Great ending.

    As for the Die Hard movie, I haven’t watched one of those since the first one. But it was fun watching the guys tear this latest schlock action fest apart.

  • Bat Credit Card

    Guys, if you ever plan one day, hopefully far, far in the future, to end this show, it must jump the shark in the most spectacular way. It must end in a glorious train wreck.

    Ideas would include having a brand new, hip set, introducing a Cousin Oliver character in a bid to get more views, having zany plots such as Jay becoming a wizard, complete with Fantasia hat bewitching things, Mike turning into a were-chicken for no reason, Plinkett teaming up with Rambo, (a la Rosseane) and Mike fulfilling his true destiny and becoming a princess.

  • zero_miles_per_hour

    How’s about Die Hardy Boys. Or, Laurel and Die Hardy.

  • MotherPusBucket

    As will my teen social commentary Hard Times at Ridgemont Die.

  • Juular

    That’s… really clever.

  • NoNewIdeas

    Prometheus all over again.

  • Geust

    Hudson Hawk 2, lol.
    Anyhow, it’s more like Try (not so) Hard, or Die Crying (guess which one they chose?)

  • Geust

    Wait, that made no sense, rofl…

  • Geust

    Cuz they did both (dammit, you used to be able to edit stuff if you were a guest on here, lol)

  • Geust

    This what needs to be done 😉 lol: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_HkyQkhwSs

  • Jigsaw

    We already have that. It’s called Lockdown. They fired Willis, though…

  • Jigsaw

    Prometheus wasn’t a failure. It was just misunderstood by all those dunces out there.

  • capitandelespacio

    Stop wasting my time.

  • capitandelespacio

    It’s gonna be great.

  • Jay-dolf von Golden-Baumen

    I’m perfectly fine with the new ensemble discussion. As long as the girl doesn’t turn into the Verucca Salt of the group, if you know what I mean?

  • againagain

    The 7th Sense: Bruce Willis is Dead Harder

  • Mike B

    They’re from Europa, Jupiter’s moon… The Europeans are Coming!

  • againagain

    Yeah and how come they watched Beverly Hills Cop 2 68 times, totalling a running time of 6800 minutes, if the ipad’s battery only lasted 600 minutes? So what, are we to believe this is some sort of a magic ipad or something? Boy I really hope Plinkett fired them for that blunder

  • Charles

    Cause no one else will hang out with him. He’s pretty much paying for companionship and he knows it by now.

  • whore hey loo cuss

    I hope you die hard (of anal cancer).

  • that guy

    any one else find it funny how plinkett bobs back and fourth during the watching

  • John Dies Hard at the End

  • whore hey loo cuss

    Oh, man, that’s so fucking funny. You made a reference to something I recognized!
    AND THAT’S WHAT MAKES IT FUNNY. Just like Remember the Spartans, Disaster Movie and Scary Movie 3 and all of those funny, funny movies beloved by geniuses everywhere.

    Please shoot yourself in the head, immediately. You are simply too hilarious to be alive.

  • shuura84

    Just watch Moonrise Kingdom after getting back home

  • wasgij

    No,Prometheus was not a failure.It achieves exactly what it’s meant to .it gives simple minded people an illusion of being smart because they like something that’s shiny and has an appearance of an intelligent movie but fails so gloriously when it comes to actual basic elements of movie making .But it’s enough for all you “geniuses” to pay for the movie ticket,dvd,blu ray,dvd and blue rays specials,directors cut dvd and blue ray,anniversary edition dvd and blue ray and “you people are suckers and will fork out money for any old shit we say is smart signed Ridley Scott” dvd and blue ray.

  • simple_jack1

    Lighten up buddy, I was only making the reference because you’d just gone on a vitriolic rant about how you hate references… It’s like poetry, they sort of rhyme.

  • wasgij

    Having a bad day?

    These “funny” comments are like cars before you when stuck in traffic.Don’t go all road rage.It’s not worth it.

  • wasgij

    How awesome would it be if they open the movie with a sequence of him cold bloodedly murdering some hutt in the street and then exclaiming “shoot first ask questions later,anyone who doubts that is dead by now” or something similar.Just to stick it to Lucas.

  • wasgij

    ..but but.. how are we going to get our presents if they don’t save christmas ?

  • wasgij

    I read “dildoing too long”.

  • whore hey loo cuss

    Yeah, no shit Sherlock. That’s why I answered you with a HiTB reference. I know it’s hard with all that mental retardation in your brain, but try not to get lapped too much in the little Irony Grand Prix were having here.

  • wasgij

    It’s obvious he is lonely so he keeps them around under a pretext of being senile and not knowing which way is up.Also he is rich because guberment pays his medical bills.

    Go Socialism!

  • wasgij

    “No,my dick is bigger ! ”

    Every single debate in the comments sections of the interwebs.

    Not saying you don’t have a big dick.it could be huge for all I know.

  • wasgij

    I know this is dull but it is chaos and not kaos.

    I know you don’t care but I..also don’t care…who does?

  • wasgij

    Maybe the place ran out of ice for the beer cooler so they went to the shitty place.

    Don’t worry,the ghost girl is making sure nobody disturbs the shop.

  • simple_jack1

    Nice try Mr back track.

  • whore hey loo cuss

    “Mr back track”? Shit, no wonder you retards don’t do anything but parrot Plinkett and Lucas lines; your original stuff sounds like Napoleon Dynamite outtakes.

    Anyway, for all you aspiring trolls out there who want to know how it’s done, here’s the essence of the trick: *both* of my posts that simple_jack so wittily responded to contained obvious HitB references in them. In fact, I even CAPITALIZED THE REFERENCES, in the hopes that even the most brain-dead spastics out there in RLM-land would catch on. The main difference was, unlike their references, mine were in context and on-topic.

    Alas, the level of retardation is too severe, the chromosomes too far and few between. Someone will parrot another Plinkett line beneath this comment, and then giggle like a stoned Beavis, or Dax Shepard watching “Ow, My Balls.” O, I die Horatio.

  • Guest Who

    Are you talking to yourself with all these comments? Sure sounds like it.

  • whore hey loo cuss

    Well, I guess you’re talking to me, aren’t you, genius? It’s amazing how you can say so little and still fuck it completely up.

  • Guest Who

    Or alot

  • Guest Who

    I thought the point of trolling was to annoy ppl, yet nobody really seems annoyed except you.

  • simple_jack1

    Ooooooh you we’re trolling everyone all along! Oh well played, here I was thinking you were just a really angry douche attacking everyone posting a comment when really all you were doing was holding up a mirror to us and telling people you hope they die of AIDS. See, I was only posting those quotes because I thought it was pissing you off but now I see the joke was on me the entire time! I take my hat off to you good sir, would you like a Pizza Roll?

  • Aren’t they usually two weeks apart? We’re not due another one till next week.

  • Bub

    Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.

  • Bruce WIllis

    I have to admit that I posted this comment twice, the highly upvoted one is near the top. It took a while to upload it, so I thought it wasn’t going to do it. And then I thought I would add Garden State, but then I realized it did upload it.

    And I don’t hate hipsters, I just thought it was the most un-die hard thing I could think of.

  • dIEGO

    best ending yet… I love it when mister plinkett proves to be smarter than he seems. I laughed so hard when the triple cross happened!

  • Lightning Fast

    Plinkett can’t remember how many times they watched it. The Alzheimer’s….

  • Marvin Falz

    Good question, I’d say no, the word isn’t synonymous with “heathen”. What I was trying to say is that RLM’s humour doesn’t offend my (newly) found faith. They’re just funny using Christian images. In the Half in the Bag outtakes you can find one funny as hell delivered remark by Rich as Plinkett (the one with the Romans who didn’t forget the nails) and Lora Story’s great improv as hostess of “Christian monthly” with Yay and Mikael as guests. Stuff that makes me laugh out loud.

  • JohnFr33man

    Oh wow, I didn’t expect this ending – amazingly funny!

  • HuevosBenedicto

    I love how this film’s so over the top the fact that they travel from Moscow to Chernobyl in Ukraine in one night doesn’t even seem noteworthy.

  • anyone know the song playing when Mike busts out the tv screen?

  • zero_miles_per_hour

    I saw Die Hard recently and calling McClane an ‘everyman’ is insane. A much more appropriate term would be ‘supercop.’ I’ve seen this confusion a lot recently, I think it’s because he struggles with so much and shows so much humanity in that film, which is unusual nowadays. Lethal Weapon has a much better claim on the ‘everyman’ title, the heroes in those movies don’t improbably bust out phenomenal combat prowess and cunning like John McClane does.

  • guest

    Hey it MUST be intelligent. It’s MYSTERIOUS. Like, if the village idiot staggers up to you and tells you a weird nonsensical inconsistent runon sentence story, it’s not dumb, it’s MYSTERIOUS, because you can’t say what it was really about.

    It’s not confused, it’s confusING. The story teller wasn’t confused, YOU’RE confused. It isn’t unintelligible, it’s just Not Understood.

    So we can see – clearly, a filmmaker can use literally any script they want or no script at all and the burden is on you, the moviegoer, to fit it into a coherent narrative or admit your own stupidity. In fact, the more stupid – I mean, confusING – the movie is, the greater the difference between yours and the director’s intelligence.

  • zeitguest

    What about a Die Hard sequel that takes place at a Hardee’s?

    Halle Berry could play the plucky countergirl who helps Willis navigate through the service access sections of Hardee’s to foil the villians, Ben Stiller can play the jerky overbearing yet comical boss who meets his end in a horrible fry-grease fire, Neil Patrick can play the overdemanding angry white collar customer who betrays everyone else selfishly but ends up freezing solid in the walkin cooler, and we can fill in the rest of the ensemble cast with the entire cast from Freaks and Geeks… it practically writes itself now doesn’t it?

  • guest

    Stylistically it’s meant to be that way and we can’t undo it, but we can diminish the effects of it.

  • guest

    And then at the end he can throw a huge diamond necklace and his buddy’s dogtags into the ocean and brandish his fists in triumph. This is gonna be great

  • Lovely shirt mr Plinkkett

  • Dasby

    …wasn’t Riggs a kickass Martial artist in Lethal Weapon, who beats the hell out of Gary Busey at the end? PREEEETTY sure that qualifies as “phenomenal combat prowess” and their cunning is at least on par with John McClane.

  • whore hey loo cuss

    Awwwww, it sounds like you’re little pussy is hurt. Sorry, little pussy. I hope you die of something much nicer than AIDS, if that makes you feel better. Have a brain aneurysm instead, Corky.

  • whore hey loo cuss

    Thanks for noticing.

  • wikipedia

    Life Goes On is a television series that aired on ABC from September 12, 1989, to May 23, 1993. The show centers on the Thacher family living in suburban Chicago: Drew, his wife Elizabeth, and their children Paige, Rebecca, and Charles, who is known as Corky. Life Goes On was the first television series to have a major character with Downs syndrome.

  • whore hey loo cuss

    Good points, all, wikipedia. Now shut your fucking mouth.

  • wikipedia

    Personality disorder refers to a class of personality types and enduring behaviors associated with significant distress or disability, which appear to deviate from social expectations particularly in relating to other humans.[1][2][3]

    Personality disorders are included as mental disorders on Axis II of the diagnostic manual of the American Psychiatric Association and in the mental and behavioral disorders section of the ICD manual of the World Health Organization.

    Personality, defined psychologically, is the set of enduring behavioral and mental traits that distinguish human beings. Hence, personality disorders are defined by experiences and behaviors that differ from societal norms and expectations. Those diagnosed with a personality disorder may experience difficulties in cognition, emotiveness, interpersonal functioning or control of impulses

  • wikipedia

    A pedant is a person who is excessively concerned with formalism and precision, or who makes a show of his or her learning.

    The term in English is typically used with a negative connotation, indicating someone overly concerned with minutiae and whose tone is perceived as condescending.[4] When it was first used by Shakespeare in Love’s Labour’s Lost (1598), it simply meant “teacher”. Shortly afterwards it began to be used negatively.

    Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder is also in part characterized by a form of pedantry that is overly concerned with the correct following of rules, procedures and practices.[5] Sometimes the rules that OCPD sufferers obsessively follow are of their own devising, or are corruptions or re-interpretations of the letter of actual rules.

    Pedantry can also be an indication of specific developmental disorders. In particular, persons with Asperger’s Syndrome often have behaviour characterized by pedantic speech.[6]

  • bitch cassidy

    How was it not clear that the iPad wasn’t in the tv. Opening scene establishes Jay with an iPad, Mike breaks tv. Shows beverly hills cop playing on an iPad nested in the broken tv.

  • simple_jack1

    How did you know my little pussy was hurt? We’re you the one who tried to put him in the microwave?

  • simple_jack1

    Have you noticed how all his comments have one very lonely ‘thumbs up’? Almost like he was giving them himself after posting each comment… but nobody would be that sad.

  • Captain Prickhard

    Still not eating at Denny’s. That food looks gross.

    Plinkett knows they’re sandbagging now?

  • Jaleel

    White? They prefer to be called caucasians you racist!

  • A Sound Editor

    Guys, I am a sound professional who works in Hollywood. Foley is not ALL the sound that is added in post as you described. Foley are just the sounds recorded in a studio by Foley artists, things like footsteps and fabric/clothes sound. The two examples you mentioned were most likely sound design, which are usually constructed by sound design artists who use a sound effects library (this is especially the case with the punch sound). However, your main criticism seems to be how they were mixed (too loud), which would be the fault of the sound mixer. If the pipe sound was quieter in the mix, it might have fit perfectly. The poor sound implementation you are describing is in all likelihood, not the fault of foley artists. The point is, if you are a film reviewer, it is important to have a clear understanding of what role people play before critiquing them directly. Check your facts! 🙂

  • guest

    You’re not seeing the forest through the trees, Captain No-fun.

  • Robby

    I think in Die Hard 6, Bruce Willis should team up with Christian Slater, and it should be called Die Hard Rain.

  • whore hey loo cuss

    Wow! You can count pretty good for a “exceptional individual”, too! You’re still wrong, as usual, but only because I cast the other “thumbs up” votes on your mother’s Sony Vaio, while I was putting my thumbs up her rectum.

  • Mark Bisone

    ATTN: whore hey, simple jack, wikimacallit, random nobodies….


    CHECK YOUR FACTS: BruWillz is gonna be dead of bald oldness soon, and then we’ll never get to see Hudson sip a fucking cappucino on film *ever again*. Can’t you all just put aside your petty differences and think about that for a minute? It’s a godammed fucking cinematic tragedy in the making.

  • simple_jack1

    If you like sticking your fingers up peoples rectums I happen to be well overdue for a prostate exam… Just to warn you though, it can be a bit awkward sometimes because my orgasms are so loud.

  • Ross Bowman

    Hey jay i watched die hard 2 and as far as the other sequels go it is a good movie. It at least seems like it exists in the same universe. I saw the latest die hard because of my love for varro from spartacus. I laughed through the whole movie because of how absurd it was, but at the same time they tried to tie it in with the original.

    Anyway my point is your right die hard 2 is pretty good. It at least feels plausable and feels like it fits in the franchise, like the people that made it actually cared that it could fit with the original. These last 3 movies just buck the formula and turn it into cynical cash ins.

    Also thanks for doing these i love them and will watch them for as long as you make them.

  • simple_jack1

    As long as they bring back Sandra Bernhard I’m down for a Hudson Hawk sequel. I know she technically died at the end of the first movie but they could have it that she survived getting covered in molten metal and just ended up being horribly disfigured… they wouldn’t even need makeup either.

  • whore hey loo cuss

    I don’t “like” it, really. That’s just the most efficient way to get her ready for a good, hard anal plowing. It’s still good to know you both share the same hobbies (though I doubt your own anal orgasms could surpass your mom’s soprano monkey shrieks).

  • Everyone is overlooking the key feature all Die Hard films contained aside from this one. There was always a central command to cut to. That’s why the pace is off in this one, they don’t have any scenes with the police, FBI, or CIA attempting to talk down the baddies or deride McClane.

  • Jasoco

    Disney advert? The only advertisements I ever get with this video host (RLM and TGWTG both use them exclusively) is for Virgin Atlantic. They’re annoying as hell and it’s the only company I ever see. And I don’t fly! So it’s completely wasted on me!

  • Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

    Hey, speaking of , have you seen Half in the Bag?

  • John McClam

    He never exhibits super action hero precognition that he does in later movies, like knowing just how to dodge an incoming missile, or throwing a car into a helicopter because he knows it’ll work.

    He gets hurt, and it affects his abilities, which never happens in the later movies.

    It seems like he *could die*, which couldn’t be further from the truth in the later movies.

  • William Shakesman

    Wait, that ain’t Rick Berman

  • Admiral Bone To Pick

    Die Hard 6: To Live And Die Hard Another Day in LA Harder.

  • Drew Hickman

    The Novelization of “Getting Even With Dad” – funny

  • zero_miles_per_hour

    But on the other hand, it definitely deserved to become a trilogy, so there’s that. Now, The Never Ending Story having two extremely unnecessary sequels, that’s funny.

  • zero_miles_per_hour


  • Dasby

    It rhymes. It’s gonna be great.

  • Dasby

    I heard it was gonna be called Die Hard…Again. And it would feature McClane having to avoid being seen by his former self as he spends his time making it possible for young McClane to survive without ever knowing that old McClane was involved. At the end you find out that McClane actually missed that one henchman guy that he shot in the head after shooting Hans Gruber, but old McClane managed to squeeze off a shot before anybody noticed.

    Also Old McClane is the one who puts up the picture of that chick in the one hallway leading to the roof.

  • zero_miles_per_hour

    Also, you can’t really see Beverly Hills Cop 2 over 60 times in only 10 hours. And earlier plot events hinged on Plinkett being unaware of digital media. Also, Plinkett could not have predicted that power outage, or that Mike would smash his TV and put Jay’s iPad there.

  • That’s gonna be great

  • Funny you guys knock Ben Stiller in an episode about Die Hard. He saw this one coming a while ago! (If the link doesn’t work look up Ben Stiller Die Hungry on youtube)

  • Wruce Billis

    IM OLD.

    GET IT?


  • You guys should see Dark Skies next. It’s a hilarious comedy, disguising itself as a horror film.

  • zachwulf

    Have the subtle ‘dings’ during Half in the Bag ever been explained? It’s driving me crazy.

  • celozzip

    maybe you didn’t hear, jj abrams is involved. instant shitfest.

  • Faddlechud

    Best twist ending ever

  • capitandelespacio

    What is it with “Ricks”?

  • simple_jack1

    Let’s get off the subject of moms… because I just got off yours! Buuuurrrrrnnn! Seriously though, you actually enjoy anal sex? I’ve heard it’s fucking shit.

  • Dudebro Nate

    You remember that? He said that on the show.
    Whatchoo talkin’ bout, Willis?

  • Mike

    I pancaked!

  • whore hey loo cuss

    You just got off the subject of my mom? For fuck’s sake, Is there any joke simple enough for you to not utterly botch?

    Next time, try something with “Rick Berman” or “goongas” in it (like your mom’s p-tang Buuuuuuurrrrrrrrnn!)

  • deaconcole

    For your next Best of the Worst you guys should do Die Hard knock-off movies.

    I recommend Skyscraper, Blast, and No Contest.

    Either way, you need to watch Skyscraper. It’s like Die Hard but inside a building.

  • simple_jack1

    Oh man, good one! You’re really on fire… Like yo momma’s pussy! Hahaha just kidding, I know for a fact she doesn’t have a venereal disease because she assured me last night. At least I think she was talking to me, I wasn’t the only one there… and she had her mouth full.

  • leeory jenkins

    The moment I saw the subtitle on the German Poster of the movie “like father like son” I knew that the movie would be shit.

  • Joe

    Know what countries America hates?
    None. America doesn’t hate other countries, which is the first thing wrong with other countries.

  • nebakhet

    Die Hard 8: Everyone dies. John McLane is violently murdered in his sleep by his old nemesis, cancer. Returning from the dead to haunt the Nakatomi building, he soon catches the attention of the Ghostbusters. A 30 minute chase romp ensues which climaxes in McLane’s capture and imprisonment in the ghostbusters containment unit. There McLane learns that ghosts with german accents have redirected a planet killing asteroid towards Earth in a bid to destroy the containment unit. With the help of the Ghostbusters McLane is resurrected back into an undead body in an elaborate necromantic ritual. Undead McLane is then launched into orbit in a last ditch effort to stop the asteroid. In a dramatic plot twist we discover that Hitler has been behind everything. In the end McLane goes mad and eats everyone, even the ghostbusters and the US puts even more sanctions on North Korea.

  • nebakhet

    popcorn is a key component of Masonic symbolism

  • nebakhet

    “Hey you know that problem we were discussing about how to make the next Jurassic Park interesting? Well how about we have TWO T-rex in the next movie?”

    “Oh that’s brilliant. The audience will be SO AMAZED!”

    “I know! Last movie they saw one giant T-Rex! But now we show them TWO!”

    “That reminds me of when you watch a movie with a big dick in it and then suddenly there are TWO dicks in frame AT ONCE!”

    “…uh what?”



    “Is there a bigger dinosaur than a T-REX???? You think we could get away with making one up??!”

    “Hey guys what if the BUGS from the first Starship Troopers can now LOOK LIKE PEOPLE!!”


    “Guys maybe we could create an ALIEN-HUMAN HYBRID?? for the next Aliens sequel??”

    “We could create LOTS OF PREDATORS in ONE movie!!! Like 1000 predators on the screen at once??”

    “But won’t they have to be ridiculously easy to kill for any of a team of 8 humans to survive?”

    “That’s why we are giving the humans lightsabers. Also it doesn’t matter because the audience will just LOVE 1000 predators at once so much they won’t care. It’s like those movies where there are 1000 dicks all at once and you are like WOW so many dicks I can’t believe how much better this movie has got”


  • whore hey loo cuss

    Hahah! That’s solid gold, man! I especially loved how you used “venereal disease” instead of something pithier, to show off your amazing vocabulary. You’re like the Thomas Hardy of mongoloids.

    Hey, that reminds me: Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Because your fat, ugly, slack-jawed, cum-stained crack whore of a mother was chasing it.

    Get it? It’s like poetry, it rhymes!

  • nova

    Oh, you’re one of those people who actually enjoyed Idiocracy. It all makes sense now…

  • simple_jack1

    To be honest I only used the generic term “venereal disease” because I don’t actually know of any and didn’t want to appear stupid… but thanks for comparing me to Thomas Hardy, that’s a real compliment! I thought he was the bestest Batman villain yet!

    Oh and your mom blah blah blah…

  • So, Jay, what did you think of ‘It’s a Good Day to Live Free and Die Hard With a Vengeance’?

  • Your Mom Jokes = So Dense

    This is really happening. This peevish manchild is hurling excessively profane your mom jokes at what is probably a 12 year old in the name of being original.

    How ironic. Tell us again how you loathe unoriginality. Oh wait, don’t tell me. Don’t type out one more word. Just shut your dick holster and stop polluting the internet with your ill-advised attempts at wit and humor.

    Please stop taking a galactic shit here for all of us to read. The rambling of a childish shit clown are no better than the “so dense” comments.

  • whore hey loo cuss

    I’m pretty sure you’re thinking of Lara Lynn Hardy (that chick who got raped in Egypt during Arab Spring Break). But that’s okay – point taken about your stupidity.

    And hey! You haven’t referenced a goddamned Star Wars review in ten or so posts, now. I think that’s what French cocksucking faggots call a “victoire-victoire.”

  • simple_jack1

    Is it just me, or is there some real sexual tension building up between the two of us?

  • whore hey loo cuss

    Hmmm… you might have a point, there. All the rape, the analyses, the syphilitic mothers, the French shit, the lame puns. It’s like I’m Marlon Brando and you’re Maria Schneider and the internet is a stick of butter.

  • simple_jack1

    Oh boy, I sure love butter!

  • whore hey loo cuss

    Shit, that would make a great tee-shirt.

  • simple_jack1

    It’s gonna be great.

  • whore hey loo cuss

    Three tomatoes are walking down the street — a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Poppa tomato gets angry, goes over to the baby tomato, and squishes him… and says: “Ketchup.”


  • simple_jack1

    I made this just for you…

  • whore hey loo cuss

    Sweet! I made you something too…

  • simple_jack1

    I love it, every stitch has so many things going on!

  • Otherhand

    They don’t put that “I hate America” thing in to make it sell overseas. That’s for you, so you’ll hate the villains. Do you think non-Americans will be rooting for the villains, because they say they hate America? That would be a weird policy for the studio.

  • Otherhand

    Mexico, Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Russia, England, France, Germany, China. And Canada.

  • DanceK

    When is the prequel to Half in the Bag coming? I want to know how two kind-hearted people became Mike and Jay.

  • whore hey loo cuss

    LOL, you did it again! That seriously never, ever gets old – just like Bruce “The Juice” Willis in the Die Hard movies that we’re discussing right now in this comedy website thread.

  • E

    Does every cunt on Redlettermedia’s discussion section need to think they are funny oneliner geniuses? How about a, “great review guys I can’t wait for the next one!” for fucking once. Instead we get the usual “its gonna be great, whats wrong with your face, Hudsen hawk hipster point fishing, or Die hard pun shit baggery. Jesus what a pack of cunts!

    And oh, Mike Jay and all of RLM great show guys. Keep it up.

  • SAFETY TIP: You should always be sure to remove lit sparklers from a television before smashing the screen with a hammer!

  • simple_jack1

    Damnit I did didn’t I… I guess it’s like poetry, they sort of rhyme.

  • Mark Bisone

    Great review of the reviews of the review, guy. I can’t wait for the next one!

  • whore hey loo cuss

    Holy shit. HOLY SHIT.
    That post gets funnier EVERY SINGLE TIME.

    Do something about Ricks next! Type, “What is it with Ricks?” three or four hundred times. It’ll be funny because I recognize it – just like mom jokes!

  • simple_jack1

    Wait, a minute… this entire conversation has just gone full circle. We’re now saying the exact same things that we were before.

    I guess you could say…


  • every cunt

    Hey, great review of the review of the reviews of the review guy I can’t wait for the next one!

  • whore hey loo cuss

    Aw damn… the comedy quips are coming Fast and Furious now. What could be next? Even more poetry that rhymes? Ricks? AYBABTU. The M.C. Escher-like comedy spiral might be too much for my AOL 2.0 internet to handle, but I must try to hang on and gleam the cube.


  • Bob

    Star Command, I’m detecting high levels of happiness. There’s an entire Land here, with living cars. Now this is flying with style. Hmmm, alluring, Whauhhah, Great glittering galaxies,enjoy both parks all year with a Disneyland annual passport, now available with monthly payment options. I now appear to be lost in a deep dark cave.

  • LibertyR

    At about 32:16 Jay looks like a werewolf without any makeup. He had the expression and the beard helped, haha. I found that hysterical.

    Then I noticed Mr. Plinkett’s eyes were always closed when the camera had an angle from the side of his sunglasses. I wonder if Rich was tired from watching Beverly Hills Cop 2 the numerous times during the filming so he kept them closed to save himself from the pain.


    Yeah, he shouldn’t be any MORE energetic.

  • Arslan Amirkhanov

    Bingo. John McClane doesn’t know martial arts. Look at his hand-to-hand fight scenes in the real Die Hard movies. His fights are realistic(choreographed martial arts are fake anyway), and he gets hurt.

  • There you go; that is exactly what I was thinking of when Mike mentioned Ben Stiller in a Die Hard review. Looks like Ben got the jump on RLM on this film. 😉

  • Hahaha, you guys did good (even better than usual, that is!) on the comedic timing and editing~

  • Travis Doeding

    The bit at the end was just hilarious guys. Thanks!

  • Mister_Misinformed

    The satirical point of your opening skit (that film fans online unjustly criticize and write off movies they haven’t seen yet) seems undercut by the film you’re reviewing this episode, which is a good example of why it’s often okay for film-goers to write off a film they haven’t seen. People should be cynical and prejudge a film like Die Hard 5 and not give its makers their money. A running theme of Half in the Bag now seems to be how online film fans are unjustly critical (a running subject of Half in the Bag sarcasm from Prometheus to Dark Knight to Skyfall). Seems like since you guys make films for the internet and have to read negative comments about your work this topic has taken on undue importance in your minds. Fans being overly critical of mainstream action movies that make billions like Prometheus, Dark Knight, and Skyfall does not really seem like a phenomena which needs to be defended against with such repetitive sarcasm.

  • Shoehorn the elf

    So the next Die Hard will be called, Get Rich or Die Hard and it will have Detective Die Hard Guy trapped on the planet earth and the euro villain will be aliens from outerspaaaaaaace! His sidekick for that film will be a spunky lil’ latin robot named Dora-Cell,and Joseph Gordon-Levitt will be Die Hard jr.

  • deerstop

    2nd film is booooring. I never watched it till the end. My favourite is actually the 3rd, and hell why don’t people like it? =_= That’s unfair! I loved John McClane and Samuel L. Jackson together.

  • Same thing. Damn I miss the cheap theatre tickets of my youth. I think around the same period I spent most of a Summer watching movies in one of those 3 bucks afternoon deal.

  • guest

    Sure took you a lot of words to show that you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.

  • Meester Smeeth

    I vote Karl Pilkington to be the “guy” in Die Hard VI.

  • capitandelespacio

    It’s gonna be so great that it is great already…

  • mr. mister

    “People who express disdain for these films often do so honestly and your assigning petty motives to them seems weirdly defensive for people running a film criticism show.”

    You’re clearly new to the internet. They’re not picking on people that form genuine criticisms of movies. That should be obvious to anyone that’s seen more than 30 seconds of a Half in the Bag episode. They’re ridiculing the cancerous “every movie is the worst movie ever” simplistic hyperbole bullshit that’s gradually taking over the internet and making it harder and harder to have a real film discussion online. If you don’t think that mentality should be mocked, then maybe you’re part of the problem.

  • simple_jack1

    Hahahaha… cats r funny

  • Mister_Misinformed

    Meanwhile you can’t be bothered to put forward an argument of any kind. “You a stupid head!” Thanks.

  • Mister_Misinformed

    “simplistic hyperbole bullshit that’s gradually taking over the internet”

    Seems like you have zero proof this “gradual take-over” is occurring or harming anyone’s life in any way. Most movies being made are bad to mediocre. People being cynical about movies that are raking in cash hand over fist is not a problem. The makers of these films are not suffering as a result.

  • Mister_Misinformed

    Why are people not allowed to hate a movie you like without you deciding their opinions are “cancerous?”

  • I liked 1, 2 and 3 but I was a kid when I watched them all last. I have no need to go back though, keep them as a great memory, like all those Steven Seagal movies.

  • Jarod

    That punch sound effect with the Russian car driver was from the original Die Hard. Listen to the punch sounds in the fight McClane vs. Karl.

  • Doo Doo Doo-da-da-Doo-Doo Doo Doo Doo-da-da-Doo-Doo…..

  • That ending was amazing! 😀

  • Andersen

    What’s that intro piano music called? It always reminds me about “Gemini Rue”, which is quite a nice adventure game and features just the same music.

  • What is fucking hilarious is your bad points for Die Hard can easily apply to Skyfall which you got on your knees and swallowed every ounce of gravy. “I want to see where our main hero has no idea what’s happening” “or he’s a confused old man” “Right you don’t want your main heroes only attributes to be he can shoot his gun at people”. What fuckin’ version of Skyfall did you see because I’m pretty sure it involved Bond not knowing shit about computers, having no gadgets other than a bullshit discarded pistol, fucks a victim of child slavery, and the entire theme being he’s too old. Oh…ohh…

  • Guest

    What is hilarious is your bad points for Die Hard can easily apply to Skyfall. “I want to see where our main hero has no idea what’s happening” “or he’s a confused old man” “Right you don’t want your main heroes only attributes to be he can shoot his gun at people”. What version of Skyfall did you see because I’m pretty sure it involved Bond not knowing anything about computers, having no gadgets other than a quickly discarded pistol, has intercourse with a victim of child slavery, and the entire theme being he’s too old.

  • Guest

    Oh and thanks for deleting this the first time I posted it.

  • guest

    Did you really think this comment was so clever that you had to post it twice?

  • guest

    Ooooh I see. You thought your comment was deleted because you don’t know how to change the discussion order from “best” to “newest.” You fail.

    Also, there’s so much more to Skyfall than dumb, simplistic, “I’m too old” shenanigans and awful shaky cam visuals. A movie is the sum of its parts, not just its parts individually.

  • Todd Dandelion-Seedhead

    Omg stop spamming you homosexuales

  • Anon

    That Disneyland commercial is the worst thing ever.

  • Topdek

    Bruce Willis has extensive podiatric surgery after the events of the first film in “Die Glass Shard”
    Bruce Willis deals with erectile dysfunction in “Die Can’t Get Hard”
    Bruce Willis battles testicular cancer in “Die Nard”
    Bruce Willis has bypass surgery after an excessively fatty diet leads to heart attack in “Die Lard”

  • Captain Prickhard

    Agreed, especially about the sex-slave part; it was truly offensive. Also, I hate all chase scenes where someone looking at a screen with the chase on it (or being TOLD what’s going on via audio link as in Skyfall) narrates the chase: “He’s on the roof!” “Now he’s going here… now there!” I mean, isn’t that our job as the audience? Why do these action thrillers need people gawking at screens?

  • Geser

    Reding the conversation between those two was like watching some really weird, really disgusting piece of porn from the debts of internets perversion. I did not enjoy it, it wasnt even amusing in that strange opposite good manner. In fact I was disgusted and it will haunt me for some time when I have to think of it. And yet I have to ask myself the question why the fuck I sat through the whole damm thing …

  • Funny you should say Dye Hard. One of my earlier comments was Tie-Dye Hard, a rollicking adventure in the 1960s starring Steve McQueen as McClane’s father Thomas. He has to stop terrorist hippies. 😛

  • simple_jack1


    Hahahaha… Classic Todd Dandelion Seedhead.

  • simple_jack1

    But was it as erotic as 2 girls 1 cup?

  • seppö

    I watch Die Hard 1 & 2 every Xmas and I love ’em! I even like the third one,even if the climax is a bit tacked on. Why did the authorities take Mclane and Zeus to Canada to stop the villans? Ah well, it’s action movie logic!

  • Meester Smeeth

    I started watching Die Hard 4 again the other night and, I have to admit, it wasn’t as bad or as dull as I thought it was the first time I saw it. Sure, I turned it off with an hour or so still to go… does that make it a bad film? I mean, any film insecure enough to eventually flat out tell you, “Yeah, just switch me off if you want.” can’t be that bad, can it? I hate time wasters, and these kinds of films don’t waste your time because they practically tell you to fuck off. So you know where you stand, yeah? I like that.

  • DanceK

    I noticed that they set up the Ipad earlier and then they used it again. GENIOUS!

  • jojo

    Your comment is so dense, every single word has so much going on.

  • Christopher Kulik

    I don’t believe there was a SISTER ACT 3.

  • everier cunt

    It’s gonna be great !

  • everier cunt

    It’s probably the punch version of the Wilhelm scream…just filling his pipe and then..

  • pigeontoucher

    John Dies Hard at the End

  • “Popcorn.”

  • I may have gone too far in a few places.

  • Good vid guys, as always!

  • Mr. T. Tek Nilp

    That’s rye, Jay?

  • Mr. T. Tek Nilp

    Whore Hey ruined Star Wars. Now he’s ruining RLM too.

  • Conor Harris

    why are they back in the house? last time they where in the shop

  • Robby

    Someone needs to make a flop predictor app. That would be fantastic.

  • mr. gold

    The second Die Hard was garbage, entirely worthy of a Plinkett review. “Oh we’ll just shut the airport down, because you saw terrorists with GUNS in the baggage area. Quit wasting our time, McClane!” It don’t make no sense.

  • Bones

    Yep. There are tons of Christians who are pretty okay with their culture being satirized. Steve Taylor was one of us! But, you know. It’s a lot easier to notice the people who are screaming in rage than it is to notice the people who just lean back and watch.

  • Bones

    By the way, Marvin, welcome to the family! You’ll be receiving your katana and cyanide pill in the mail.

  • Jorge Locas

    iPad batteries don’t last 10 hours! Plot hole!!!

  • JabelsJr

    Throw Prince in it and call it Die Hard Purple Rain – More Explosions, More Dancing, More Empty Seats in the Theater

  • Marvin Falz

    I think that those who scream in rage are those who are hiding their own shortcomings from others and themselves. They’re blind. But I must say there’s a line between art that is merely attacking believers and art that is provoking to make you think. (And then there’s art that exists just for the joy of the viewer.) I remember a video on YouTube showing Jesus smeered all over with poop. Where’s the critique in that? But at least Christians don’t rise to kill the maker of such a video.

  • Marvin Falz

    Haha, seems like a suicide mission, doesn’t it.

  • Marvin Falz

    And thanks for the welcome!

  • fatpie42

    Actually the most unrealistic thing in the second one was when the prisoner who the bad guys want to release manages to free HIMSELF from his bonds at precisely the point where he can then fly the plane transporting him. That was pretty damn unrealistic. Also the idea that the bad guys can accurately predict a snow storm that will consistently prevent any planes from seeing the ground during the whole of their terrorist attack.

  • opinion

    Haven’t seen the poop video but it could be a critique of the way most people abuse Jesus for their own agenda and don’t even bother to take a closer look at his teaching.Or a comment on the degradation of purity of basics of Christianity.Like people tend to project their own shit on things.Or a statement that true faith is not about symbols,images or statues,dogma and all that trivial stuff,because that is basically shit that detracts from the actual point of faith.
    A bit crude.

  • Marvin Falz

    That sounds perfectly reasonable to me. I think you’re right most people abuse Jesus for their own agenda as if Jesus was a personal wish fulfiller, just pray and he’ll give you what you want. That’s New Age teaching. It turns everything around. Now you’re Jesus or at least Jesus in training, cause New Age tells you that you can reach Christ consciousness and that the coming of the Cosmic Christ is our destiny. New Age teaches you’re God and the danger is that the human ego inflates to a point that it becomes dangerous to others: since you’re God you can do what you want using any means you want. Imagine everybody would believe that BS, then society would go down the drain. Then society would “evolve” into a state of everybody against everybody. Society would become a toilet named Anakin.

    Now I know that Jesus himself tells his Disciples they’ll receive anything they ask for in his name, but “in his name” doesn’t mean to add “in the name of Jesus Christ” to a wish. It means they’ll receive whatever they ask for in accordance with God’s intentions. Often people wish “God bless this”, “God bless that”, “God bless this person”, “…this project”, you name it, but forget that it should be the other way around, people should bless, praise God first and ask for guidance, for what God wants and then ask and thank for what they wish in accordance with His intentions.

  • Mike Hunt

    I liked the part where there were pretentious and sarcastic commentary.

  • hey, faggot

    stop sucking their dicks

  • AlexJones4President1995

    over 1 week and no knew video!? FFS guys they need two get there finger out and release new shit they could off at leased put out a traler or somethink i could care less what the contents are just treat there fans with respect we diserved hoe DARE you keep us hanging

  • Hey, this review reminded me of Charlie Brookers’ Weekly Wipe – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxTPEd_Skfc

  • guest

    I liked the part where your grammar was fucking terrible.

  • guest

    I guess this is supposed to be funny because every other word is spelled wrong. I guess?

  • none

    When is the next Care Boars episode?

  • A Hard Day To Die Good…

  • rrrrrrr

    Well, it’s stylistically designed to be that way, and he can’t undo that. But he can diminish the effects of it.

  • liverpool4eva1999

    i liked the part were “guest” dies of face cancer

  • 14 year-olds should be seen and not heard.

  • themorphinetango

    It’s so dense. Every single image has so many things going on.

  • themorphinetango

    This back track is the most disappointing thing since my son.

  • themorphinetango

    This comment just won.

  • bruce willis

    The answer to the question who thinks it’s necessary to make another die hard movie is : Andrew G. Vajna

  • obriencj

    I just want to thank you for making these comments worth reading. I enjoyed every moment of it, and look forward to more from you in the future.

  • Faradn

    That’s one cliche that actually is true, not so much about beat cops, but detectives: when they’re working a case they are working 11+ hour days.

  • DanceK

    I think Hansel and Gretel would have been much better in 3D and 50 fps.

  • whatever

    sort of awkward format, you guys don’t look comfortable in front of camera. I find it hard to watch you 2. maybe its just me…

  • Tom

    Die Hard 6: Hardly Anyone Dies

  • Wow, Mr. Plinkett has the same kind of bowls I do.

  • I’m pretty sure it would take longer than 10 hours to watch Beverly Hills Cop 2 68 times.

  • nintendozapper

    “the guns are kept on the floor in Russia.” I haven’t laughed so hard in a while. Thank you, Mike and Jay. I needed that. Otherwise I was going to hang my self.

  • Bruce Willis has a son? Since when? Was he ever mentioned before?
    They could’ve made it some old collegue of McClane and it would’ve been fine.
    OK, he has a son now, who we’ve never seen before in 25 years of the series history. At least he LOOKS like the son of a action hero.

    There should be rule 7. Funny sidekick.

    He has one in all the previous movies. Not in this one. He has to be his own funny sidekick, which puts him in a kind of double-role.

    And IDK about the uranium – but wouldn’t that have degraded in the 27 years since Chernobyl??? He hid it there before the accident – so that shit is actually older than the movie series.

    One of my biggest complaints was the uninventiveness with boss battles. They fight a big military helicopter in the middle of the movie, which they escape by jumping out of a window and falling through some construction site. Then, at the end of the movie, they fight the exact same helicopter, which they escape by jumping through a glass window that just happened to be there, into a hall, which just happens to contain a swimming pool, which just happens to be full of water after 27 years of abandonment, which just happens to be non-radioactive. Fuck. That.

  • I wish they could have kept doing Mr Plinkett reviews. I really don’t like this format anywhere near as much. It’s boring.

  • K.Leslee

    Hey guys, this movie was filmed in Hungary and not Russia. Great video though.

  • Verenti

    He wasn’t even “stuck in Russia”, because they went to Ukraine. So stuck in the CIS?

  • bananna hammock

    This whole reply chain is why small children get cancer, and why puppies are put to sleep. I hope you are both proud of yourselves.

  • simple_jack1

    I’m sorry

  • “I don’t know, I pancaked” made me laugh and feel immature, like a fetus

  • jd

    He’s… always had a son and daughter in the movies. I don’t think you’ve seen Die Hard I or II…

  • I like the part where you died of being a pretentious, internet-obsessed hipster douchebag who worships hack wannabe directors.

  • You just told yourself to shut the hell up. Now piss off and watch the ARTIST in your parents basement.

  • Pinkett is boring. So are the people who watch his videos religiously.

  • john

    “going to be worst than AIDs”. this movie fits that.

  • Sound guy

    Pro tip:Foley are technically “sound effects” (though, sound guys will most likely not call foley SFX, to save confusion), but SFX are not foley.

    Foley is what people perform “live” along with props and record. “All the sounds” definitely are not foley.

    Gun clicks are foley
    Punches are not foley
    Dialog/ADR are definitely not foley

  • You spelled it wrong.

  • DanceK

    No, I’m pretty sure it’s spelled ‘Ipad’…

  • Wrong word, guess again.

  • DanceK

    Geeeeeez, you’re as much fun as that Die Hard guy… John McDonald…?

  • He had the assistance of the black cop. Just saying this series is so inconsistent I don’t hold it a line of plausibility as long as it’s fun fuck it

  • Guest

    sounds like an aphex twin song called popcorn (which plays right after plinkett says he’s making popcorn) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxay2IJEkfQ

  • AlcaldeEste

    For all practical purposes, he’s alone. He’s fighting alone inside the building. Reginald VelJohnson does literally nothing until the very end. There is a clear difference between him fighting alone and sometimes talking to a guy on the radio, and two guys with guns fighting the bad guys the whole movie. I can’t grasp how you would consider that inconsistent.

  • The entire series is inconsistent. From plausibility to the whole Die Hard rule of one man against the world to John McCane himself. Like I said as long as it’s fun and got good characters I don’t give a shit what they do. Die Hard on the Moon whatever. I guess i should’ve made that point more clear, but you’re absolutely right Die Hard 1 he was completely alone. But I like all of them around the same except Die Hard 5 which was ass and Die Hard 2 I haven’t seen yet

  • GoodLarry

    Harry S. Plinkett and Kenneth Ellen Parcell – two incredibly old men who just want to watch Night Court.

  • Billy Nunez

    They laugh at the name Die Harder… the next one is called Die Hardest… oof

  • Joshua Barkdull

    The chase scene discussion reminded me of the end speech in Idiocracy where Joe says “movies that had stories so you cared whose ass it was and why it was farting!”

    Such a simple concept that so many filmmakers just don’t get.

  • Viola

    Love that Plinkett’s umbrella is stuck in the door after he leaves.

  • ProfoundBadness

    I think I can pinpoint this trend. Pride, Prejudice and Zombies.

  • Joao Marcos de Aquino

    A-HA! Plothole! Mike and Jake are overrated hacks!

  • Bort

    i think it wouldve been nice visually if mclane was wearing a cop uniform, ya could have that if he was attending a memorial for another cop, possibly a friend of his.. slain in the line of duty.. ya know theres ya first scene.. raining of course cause thats cool.. and represents the sadness.. raining n shit… and then mclane is giving the speech .. cut to cross hairs.. of a sniper.. watching the scene… nothing too original.. but cause its a die hard movie.. we get a taste of the cop element.. “its such a shame this close to christmas, that his friend died.. yadda yadda” ,,cut to grieving family.. cut to the photo of his friend the dead cop so we know who hes talking about.. cut to the cross hairs, ..the sniper p.o.v.. this time the sniper is training his gun upon mclanes wife.. she is sitting next to the grieving widow.. mclane looks down at his wife… in a knowing glance.. that being a cop is dangerous.. as if to say theyve spoken at length about it… while this glance takes place… bang! mclanes wife is taken out.. he rushes over crying in the rain.. panic ensues.. she;s bleeding out.. he;s trying to stop the blood.. does she die? or not.. well luckily not, but she would be in hospital.. while in the emergency room, mclane gets a ph call from the sniper.. taunting him… “you feel that pain mclane, good, cause thats the pain i been feeling” the voice in a european accent… “who is this?”… mclane asks.. but the ph hangs up.. he gets the feeling he’s being watched.. cut to somebody closing the door at the end of the hall.. cut to mclane running after.. we get to a stair well… he looks down sees somebody running but they are many flights down… the movie would pretty much write itself.. hell its prob been done before i never said i was any good at this

  • Displacer

    His son was seen in the beginning of Die Hard in the kitchen, additionally in all the family photos. He wasn’t out of nowhere. The Enriched Uranium would be more than fine. The isotope that is the primary amount of uranium used for weapons is u-235 and has a half-life of 704 million years, any natural decay after 27 years would be meaningless.

  • Veteran of the Psychic Wars

    The villain in the second movie isn’t a Euro-villain.

    For what it’s worth (fucking zero).

  • Punkster

    I’m fairly sure they never said he was.

  • Steven Simmons

    I really liked how Russian Bill Goldberg was walking around shirtless in Chernobyl. Probably the most enjoyable thing in the film to me.

    I also love how terrible of a cop John McClane is now.

  • Mike B

    Well going from the videos I’ve seen in the internet about Russia, that isn’t too far from reality…

  • Jegsimmons

    when it comes to folley…all guns in movies should done like the movie HEAT

  • Sam

    Funny you mention the guns in the trunk. My friend Dmitri is from the Caucasus area and he and his friends kept AK-47s in the trunk of the car.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    Bruce Willis is so sexy… gets better with age (like Jay 😉 )

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