Half in the Bag: 10 Cloverfield Lane and Me Him Her

March 15, 20162,067 Comments

Mike and Jay watch the out of nowhere movie 10 Cloverfield Lane and then watch the out of nowhere movie Me Him Her. Pronouns VS Adresses – Movies are great again!


Filed in: Uncategorized

  • dollar store cashier wife

    NEW CUMTENT!

  • zaz926

    Happiness is a RLM update on a Tuesday.

  • Woot!

  • MHJ
  • Jack P. Coleman

    Goodman’s character in Inside Llewyn Davis was basically Harry S. Plinkett, and now he’s playing Plinkett again!

  • ♫ Another funeral ♫

  • Animist_Primal

    -This comment is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Websters-

  • dollar store cashier wife

    SPRING BREAK 2012!

    WOOO!

  • ♫ Time for an enema ♫

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Dayum Mike is backpedaling like crazy on Landis previous efforts. A retroactive seal of approval for AU and VF. I just hope those hollywood connections are worth it.

  • Animist_Primal

    How the hell do you think Space Cop 2 is going to be made? Mike isn’t pretty enough to do this shit on the casting couch anymore and Jay has too much respect for himself.

  • What about a Public Enema?

  • You meen a Bernie Sanders rally?

    #VoteTrump

  • Kyle B from the D

    I just saw 10 Cloverfield Lane last night, and I have to say, it was great. Very tense and atmospheric.

  • Adzl33t

    No Zootopia review, come on Mike, just review one animated movie, please

    Critics like Zootopia

  • dollar store cashier wife

    They were so preoccupied with whether or not they could make Space Cop 2 that they didn’t stop to think if they should.

  • Leo_Silva.

    It’s so weird watching mike backing up and restraining himself due to a friendship relationship.

  • MHJ

    Guys, stop blowing Max Landis’ untalented penis. Roast him accordingly like you do with other directors/writers.

  • Spoilers

    ————-

    I’m pretty sure the ending scenes for Cloverfield are what tied it in with the previous movie. I’m fairly certain the movie wasn’t intended to be a part of that franchise in the beginning, but I get how they worked it in for marketing or whatever. In the beginning they mentioned the power outages across the eastern seaboard, and that’s what was going on in NYC in the first Cloverfield movie, and basically they just confirmed what the Hell was going on in the first one with what was said on the radio in the second. It feels like they’re going to keep this universe going, but without tying everything together through characters. Essentially it’ll be like the World War Z book (and what that piece of shit movie should have been) where there’s one big event happening in the world and we just get a bunch of individual stories from people that are experiencing it at different points in time.
    ————-

  • Max Landis broke Mike. Now he seems to like things…….

  • He jerked him out of the closet.

  • Devil_Dinosaur

    Mike used the novels of Stephen King and the location of Castle Rock Maine as an analogy of separate works of fiction that share common threads. He could have sited the novels of Balzac for the same purpose, if he weren’t a semi-literate, middle-brow hack.

  • MHJ

    someone should edit the video with HitB and Max and the music.

  • Yes! This!

  • Patrick Eslinger

    love you guys, but I don’t know if Mike could dickride Max any harder. kinda sad.

  • Adzl33t

    What I like about Cloverfield Land and perhaps Deadpool, is those are franchise movies with large settings that are used for smaller plots, after many of these bloated blockbusters it’s nice to me to see smaller scale genre movies like some of those 80s movies

    Chasing Amy is one of fav movies

  • “Adam Sandler’s Ridiculous 6 should be in the ‘National Film Registry'”

    -Mike Stoklasa

  • Patrick Eslinger

    love you guys, but I don’t know if Mike could dickride Max any harder. Feels like he’s starstruck be knowing someone famous. it’s OK to say Max is a great guy who’s fun to hang out with, but this movie blows. We tune in for your editorial opinion, don’t loose that because someone famous befriended you.

  • You think he played twister with Adam Sandler wearing the Jill costume?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    So, the next HitB episode is one of the most eagerly awaited of the year. It was my most anticipated episode of the year, that is until the Ghostbsuters trailer was released.

  • Percy Gryce

    Remember: The boys have gone back in time to the time before Mike hated Max Landis’s movies. Mike’s not backtracking. This is an alternate timeline.

  • Makes sense.

  • Animist_Primal

    You prequel fanboys make me sick!

  • durhay

    He’s acting like a Lucasfilm employee

  • Mike McCallum

  • dollar store cashier wife

    CALL TO ARMS PT.2

  • dean ying

    One of these two is selling out faster than tickets to a midnight opening screening of “Star Wars Episode VIII”

  • dollar store cashier wife

    ‘bribed

  • Adzl33t

    For anyone complaing about the Max Landis critical handjob, that wouldn’t happen if Mike and Jay reviewed Zootopia

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Someone over at Youtube brought up something that might be a plot hole. They are sent back in time, but they are reviewing movies from the present. That’s unacceptable. Unsubscribed.

  • Percy Gryce

    That seemingly fatal flaw is easily explained.

  • I think Mike Stoklasa accepted money from Adam Sandler and Max Landis. And Kevin James. And David Spade. And JJ Abrams. And…. well. All of the people.

  • Palpatine

    How much money did Max Landis pay Mike for him to say nice things about his movie?

  • Except George Lucas.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Can this be explained by The Ring Theory too?

  • Nice viral video, Max Landis. Now, where’s the real HitB episode?

  • tOmy`

    Fucking told you, you hacks, that AU ain’t that bad!!!!!

  • Gay solidarity!

  • Mike Berman as he is called in HitB Timeline II: Dawn of Money!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Age of Ultron?

  • American Shmulztron.

  • Percy Gryce

    HITB Timeline II: Hollywood Cop-nection

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Oh! Ooooh–

  • dollar store cashier wife

    and who bribed you fam?

  • Captain_Prickhard

    “The Czech skull is impervious to reason, but it is susceptible to blows.” –Theodor Mommsen (1817-1903)

  • dollar store cashier wife

    he paid in promises of hollywood connections.

    an I.O.U. fooled old man Mike basically, considering he’s like a cockroach in regards to the real big jew fish.

  • Palpatine

    Which is code-word for cocaine.

  • tOmy`

    Not my fault Mike and Jack couldn’t follow a plotline if it was humping them.

  • Wanna play some Famville on the Facebooks?

  • Sully

    Cloverfield = Godzilla
    10 Cloverfield Lane = The Divide? Maybe?
    I haven’t seen it yet, but it’s on my list.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    True dat. Still if you believe even for a second that Mike started backpedaling because he naturally found time/effort/attention span to reevaluate the merits of Landis poop you need to rewatch The Wire to learn how the streets work IRL…fam.

  • tOmy`

    Oh, no, I didn’t even watch this episode yet.

    I am just saying that I said it ain’t as bad as they made it out to be.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    sexy avy

  • Like Icare

    Yay! Con tent!

  • Devil_Dinosaur

    I don’t feel weird about their cutting Max Landis some slack. I don’t know him, but I do find myself agreeing with much of what he says, and liking most of his work, except for the stuff that I really don’t fucking like or agree with. For instance: he said Rey in The Force Awakens was a Mary Sue, and that made her a character with no stakes, therefore it was impossible to care about her. I agree 100%. Then he said Finn was a lame character and that Lando Calrissian was much more charismatic, and I cringed. First of all, Finn was a great character, and – why are you comparing him to Lando, exactly, Max? Because they’re both black? Oh, fuck you. See? You like him, then you hate him, then you like him again, then you notice his haircut and just feel vaguely nauseous.

  • You and Mr Stoklasa should get a room……… and watch Landis films =P

  • tOmy`

    Cool write up, allow me one more comment tho:

    And those fucking colors, right? Like who wears colors in this day and age?! Fucking pretentious fuck, it’s browns and beige, people. #Trump2016

  • tOmy`

    I actually wanted to rewatch it stoned, just to see if the “stoner comedy” promotion really could have hurt it, because man oh man, that is far from what I would call a comforting movie for stoned people.

  • “Remember kids to use dope if you want to watch this.”

    It says so on the box. PG-13D

    *D for drugs

  • Like Icare

    Soo… Cloverfield Rises: Dawn of Cloverfield 2 is basically another movie about a room full of white people?

    #WhereDidIslaFisherHideBorat’sBeard

  • Henrik Larsson

    I think his look works because he is always acting slightly weird. He is too adorable not to love.

  • Chomiq

    Ok Max, we get it, you’re gay. No need to make a movie about it.

  • Sully

    I like Max. He’s good people. I’ve been following him on Youtube for a while now (probably since his Superman video).
    The thing I find refreshing about him, and maybe it’s because he’s a writer too, is he’s not afraid to shit on the industry a bit for the way they push writers, or any voice of creativity for that matter, to the back of the bus.
    I think that’s why Mike and Jay like him as well. So many people in the biz are just total ass kissers, and you do have to be to a degree I suppose, but he knows when bullshit is bullshit, and he isn’t afraid to call a turd a turd, or a Mary Sue a Mary Sue.

  • You altered your comment. Is this a Special Edition? Who do you think you are, George Lucas?

  • By they you mean Mike? Because Jay sat there in horror.

  • Chomiq

    Jay kept thinking about that bukkake scene with young Landis and how it must have ruined his childhood.

  • SuperParonomasia

    “Me him her is the most disappointing thing since my son” John Landis.

  • I’m a fly over moo cow… https://youtu.be/KOgcYl8f2ts?t=35m43s

    That’s a weird coincidence. I mentioned that joke yesterday.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hi, my name is Max Landis and I’ve been watching this VHS thing called Chasing Amy! Well that gave me a great idea! You see I’m a hit Hollywood writer and I wanna make my own movie about a guy who finds out he’s gay in a wacky fashion! I got an idea weird gotta get Haley Joel Osment and we’re gonna have him yell weird pop culture dialogue! It’s gonna be like Haley’s Night Out in LA! Then the gay guy’s gonna stand 15 feet in on a cliff yelling! We’re gonna let people stweam it! And I know them kids like the TORRENTZ so I’m gonna bombard every download with solar radiation! I think it will create some kind of Manga Tron! And if anyone tries to copy a beam is gonna fly right into their eyes like Raiders of The Lost Ark! And-hold on. What’s going on?! Get away from my door! Hold on, I gotta go yell on Screen Junkies. My name is MAX LANDO! I’m a hit Hollywood writer.

  • You’re just like STOMP only you should be called STOP. https://youtu.be/KOgcYl8f2ts?t=37m1s

    Come on, doing the same joke twice?

  • tOmy`

    Ok Chomiq, we get it, your opinions are embarrassing. No need to make a comment about it.

  • Just as I suspected. He’s a compatriot of mine.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ok tOmy, we know you like music. No need to make a comment about it.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Cloverfield was an inside job!

  • tOmy`

    13 drugs? Nobody can take that many drugs!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Clearly Simon Pegg showed Abrams the Plinkett reviews based on TFA and 10 Cloverfield Lane directly stealing Harry S. Plinkett.

  • Palpatine

    Didn’t you make that joke yesterday?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes but it felt more appropriate here for me at least.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    At RLM we like to recycle.

    It’s a weird we don’t like Leo because we care about the environment[of internet]. ALOT.

  • So was that anal insty and I gave you yesterday. <3

  • Palpatine

    I recently found out Simon was in TFA and he played Unkar Plutt.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    But if this same thing happened with somebody dressed in a Deadpool costume…Magic.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Like you never.

  • That sounds like a made up name. Who is Unkar Plutt? I doubt there’s someone like that who played Simon.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    By the way Hanging With Leo is a creepy documentary about his life. Like creepier than wanting to fuck a rabbit and an underage robot.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Footnote to Nu Star Wars History #2.
    (Hint: #1 is a James Bond.)

  • Like Icare

    Much like Chasing Amy was made some 20 years ago.

    It’s like poetry. Poetry about lesbians. You know… like Sappho.

  • I highly doubt that.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    #RabbitFyucking-Shaming
    #StopTheBullying
    #Learn2Love

  • Palpatine

    I also found out about Daniel Craig’s little cameo too.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    OK, moogit, we expected you to break the rhythm of this thread.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Everyone knew that. You’re slower than a grandpa turtle.

  • OK, GrumPa, I get it. No need to make a comment about it.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Yeah, but that haircut.
    And the nepotism.
    But mainly that haircut.

  • It’s just like The Item or The Room in that respect.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds
  • Make America Grated Cheese

    OK, moogit. Sorry about all the shaming.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    get on steam and lets play some xcom you sexy cow

  • Like Icare

    It’s a shoutout to Obi Wan being a spymaster in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.
    Which was like all that people were talking about when Star Wars came out.
    “Oh look! It’s Smiley as the Wise Old Wizard! Get it? It’s a cameo.”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What have I done?

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Like Icare

    It’s funny cause it’s true.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    What?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No that’s Ned Beatty.

  • Your moo-ve, creep.

  • tOmy`

    Slight ADHD / hyperactivity makes everyone look adorable.

    And on drugs.

  • Jar Jarmusch

    Goddamn YT copyright trolls are the fucking worst.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, better copy paste my most upvoted comments from one day earlier to bring some real content to this webzone.

  • Palpatine

    So I’m guessing the next HitB will be on Batman v. Superman with special guest reviewer Rich Evans.

    #GetHyped

  • Palpatine

    Yeah, we do.

    3-2-3-4, 4-2-3, and…

  • #fatshaming

  • Hopefully it’s a Ghostbusters + BvS – double feature. Double the misery, double the fun!

  • Like Icare

    The Item has an “urban” chick and an Asian chick (one who fucks the puppet) so it’s not all about white people.
    And Tommy Wiseau is of undetermined racial and genetic makeup. For all we know, he may be an alien. From the future.
    Which WOULD explain a lot.

  • Captain_Prickhard

    Intriguing! Mike sees 10 Cloverfield Lane as a discussion of anal eroticism, the stage of conflict between a conscious attitude of obedience and an unconscious desire for resistance.
    “You are a polymorphously perverse individual, Mister Stoklasa, and I recommend full psychoanalysis. I believe I can fit you in next Tuesday.”

  • It must be some form of anal regression*.

    *I forget what anal regression really is in Freud but whatever.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Either they’re gonna hate it which will bring back batman news and we’ll get to laugh…or Mike will end up enjoying it and recommending it which will bring an outrage in the comments. either way-we win.

  • Love the hair, hate the face, Mr Jarmusch.

  • tOmy`

    Can’t wait for either of that.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Both. At least it will give Sully another chance to hype Civil War.

    #Fox

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    *anal fissures

  • Funny you should mention that. I’ve been having terrible ass aches for the past two months.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Sooooo-ey!!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I can’t wait until they see this http://i.imgur.com/P1rtCz2.png

  • Like Icare

    It’s because aliens didn’t take in account the phantom time hypothesis.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phantom_time_hypothesis

  • tim

    Now that an OutLandis movie! … i did a thing.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Funny, doesn’t sound funny.

    #Funny

  • Like Icare

    Yeah, but do we see his Balzac?

  • Maybe it was his father’s way of showing approval, how do you know?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Our little tim is growing up.

  • Palpatine

    I think Mike will hate it as much as he hated Man of Steel.

  • Palpatine

    Someone send that to George Lucas!

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • tOmy`

    Well, we will just have to wait for Daily Mail to deal with this for us.

    We already know they are specialists.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I think Mike will have an opinion about it.

  • Hey JJ it’s me Rungor. Rungor Nass. What are you doing here and why such a bad disguise? Sssssshhh! Don’t say anything or you’ll blow your cover.

  • tOmy`

    Oh please, let it be Attack of the Giant Ants.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Part time

  • Joel Nickel

    The Divide is such a great movie. Plus it was shot in my hometown of Winnipeg and I got to interview Michael Biehn and Michael Eklund for the Winnipeg premiere!

  • Like Icare

    You know… Tinker, Tailor…
    That British TV miniseries based on a John le Carre international bestselling spy novel. It was all the rage back then.

  • This is where the fun begins.

  • Like Icare

    No. He’s TFA’s Jewish guy.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    FFF–FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!1!!one!!

  • RLMkeepitup

    disney owns that too? of coarse they do!

  • Like Icare

    Part time.

  • Palpatine

    Goddamn it!

  • Sully

    Nepotism is just the Hollywood way.
    And the haircut? Hey. Whatever gets you remembered in an industry of “Who tha fuck was that?”

  • tOmy`

    Is that kinda haircut really that unusual in US that everyone here keeps losing their shit about it?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Part time? Full time! That’s how much Plinkett is going to be working in the next few years, because of this this, Star Wars movies every year, Ghostbusters…

  • Its very interresting to hear about all those versions.

    “In the future, it will become even easier
    for old negatives to become lost and be ‘replaced’ by new altered
    negatives. This would be a great loss to our society. Our cultural history must not be allowed to be rewritten.” -George Lucas

    Give us the movie Disney.

  • Indiana Jones: Nappin gramp’a

  • Palpatine

    At least we have the de-specialized editions to hold us over for now.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Since communists were a flop as bad guys, I totally expect this crap to take place in the Southern Cone countries, and Indy stumbles upon some escaped nazis. The whole movie takes place in a retirement home, like Bubba-Ho-Tep.

  • Sully

    I wouldn’t know. I don’t see hair style.

    Pound Sign: WhatIsRacismForHair

  • Really interresting. It’s Star Wars!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXifjbxZDAM

  • Yes. Mr Lucas now has my permission to die.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    NOTHING BUT STAR WARS!!!

  • 12 Transformers – Revenge of the Fallen Avenue: Brandon and Zack spend their summer break restoring an Austin Mini Metro, unaware that the clapped old car is not an autobot from the planet Cybertron, and that neither one of them has a shot at hooking up with Megan Fox, or her mother Meg Ryan.

    Stars John Goodman as their cranky neighbour – Mr Oliver Prime – who is always telling them to turn their music down.

    7 The Empire Strikes Back Boulevard: A party of college students embark on a skiing holiday. But are they in Aspen, Colorado, or on the ice planet Hoth?

    Stars John Goodman as winter sports instructor, Dan Vader. Why not make his hilarious catchphrase: “SKYWALKER!!!!!!” your new ringtone.

    21 The Hunger Games – My Dinner With Andre Jump Street: Fine dining aficionados, Andre Gregory and Wallace Shawn, both wait a really long time for couple of medium rare steaks and a side order of fries while, outside, society crumbles into post-apocalyptic anarchy.

    Stars John Goodman as the rapper, Ice Cube.

  • Mike

    Kelvin is probably a reference to the spaceship in the book Solaris (and the films).

  • Like Icare

    Haircism?

  • Imperial_orb

    I will initiate a subspace scan for temporal anomalies, Sir.

  • Like Icare

    Why not simply go with occult evil wizards?

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    “I met George Lucas yesterday and we bonded over ‘The Force Awakens’. The only thing I didn’t like about the prequels was the casting.”
    -Mike Stoklasa

  • Like Icare

    I’m not saying it was aliens…

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Because they kinda tried that in ToD, and people didn’t like it then (even if they do now, except it’s racist evil wizards, and that upsets millennials). So nazis is where it’s at, but where are you going to find nazis in the 1960s?

  • Imperial_orb

    I agree with Jay…
    I think he is totally right…
    Max just sucks.

  • Like Icare

    I thought it was a pretentious reference to that other, much cooler, temperature scale.
    Where freezing is like… 273 degrees hot.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Mike? I thought you hated being here!

  • Mike

    Or wait, it’s the name of the guy who works there. Something like that. Who knows.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    There’s something I call “the Batman effect”, it will make people feel BvS isn’t quite as bad as MOS, and that will be considered an accomplishment. In short, Mike and Jay will probably give it a pass, because the stuff with Batman was ok.

  • Like Icare

    In Illinois?

    As for wizards… just make them druids.
    You can put some knights of the round Arthur in it and Calibur and his ex… and film it around stoned hedges… and then put a Nescafe lock in it cause kids love dinosaurs… and then everyone goes to a pub and eats pork scratchings and haggis.

  • tOmy`

    I checked those promotion videos like a week back and have to say that I was far from impressed (I did chuckle at that “Go be in a kissing prank video” joke), I don’t think Max really sold the idea of the movie to me.

    Adorable or not, it felt like a pass for me. Ironically, tho, RLM’s review kinda peaked my interest. Maybe they should handle all of Max’s publicity from now on.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    I couldn’t watch pure shit like 10 Cloverfield after watching The Witch.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Realistically, what Indy would be “fighting” in the 60s would be hippies and their loud rock music. Indiana Jones and the Woodstock Festival.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Because you were turned into a newt?

  • Sam Hillyer

    a guy spent 500 dollars at a carnival to get an xbox kinect, and he ended up the getting the rasta banana

  • Imperial_orb

    Haha, I really think Papa Mike developed some Paternal feelings for Max.
    Pretty cute.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    .

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    There were no newt spells cast sadly. Just a simple love spell with a contrary black goat whose acting skills and charisma are far outweigh (hur hur) John Goodman’s character in 10 Cloverfield.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    I agree with Jay about all those fucking awful 90’s twenty something bitch fest movies. They are horrible, self absorbed, pretentious, and hollow, just like our generation…

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Wizard Phoenix

    His name is Harry.

  • Red Skeleton

    Harrison Ford and Steven Spielberg, but no George Lucas?
    So the thing actually has a chance at being good this time around?

  • tOmy`

    There is nothing wrong with “our generation”. It’s just certain people from certain countries with certain social problems / toxic attitudes.

    I always disliked the whole notion of sticking all sorts of people from around the globe into one category; especially when it comes to the term “millennials”. It’s a really half arsed attempt to make sense out of some birth dates, that’s about it. Hardly anything describing a group of people / movements / world views / tastes etc.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Thank God Kevin Smith made Dogma after Chasing Amy.

  • Palpatine

    I found a giant stuffed banana with a Rastafarian hat for sale on Amazon:
    http://www.amazon.com/dp/B009PDD9VU/?tag=shop28-20

  • Beryl Reid’s portrayal of Connie Sach’s is one of my favourite performances.

  • Palpatine

    Yes. This.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    I’m making a self deprecating joke about being a generation x’er…I think you are taking me too seriously. 😛 Your probably just grumpy from being the Nerevarine and having to save mouth breathers like me. 😀

  • tOmy`

    Oh, I ain’t grumpy, I was just bouncing off your comment, really. Just a train of thought.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Dogma was so fun.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Don’t forget Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. It has my favorite line ever “Ben Affleck was the bomb in Phantoms, yo”

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Mine too and Phantoms was the bomb lol.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Nah.

  • junkevil

    It’s his maternal grandfathers last name and he’s come out and said such before.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Pretentious selfish assholes will always exist, people. It’s not a problem with this generation, it’s just that those idiots now have internet access.

  • RLMkeepitup

    #itstrue

  • Mike

    ahh well there you go. shows what I know.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    We are all Harry.

  • Like Icare

    Indy Saves the Woodstock – from the gang of evil space druids planning to summon the ancient ones through by offering all those young humans as sacrifice.

    Everything culminates in a thunderstorm and Joan Baez singing “We Shall Overcome” with the crowd.

    Fucking stupid Lucas… he could have gotten so much music into that one, just like he did with American Graffiti.

    Instead of stuffing it into Strange Magic.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Don’t forget to tweet it to @AnitaSarkeesian

  • Palpatine

    Your generation is the best.

  • RLMkeepitup

    i prefer to lick a stamp just so she recieves my mysoginst bodily fluids

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Indy Saves the Woodstock – from the gang of evil space druids planning to summon the ancient ones through by offering all those young nubile humans as sacrifice.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I think it’s unfair to compare Kevin Smith to Max Landis. While I like Max Landis I have a lot more respect for Kevin Smith especially for what he did to get Clerks made. The guy sold all of his comic books and maxed out multiple credit cards to get the film funded.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Maybe.

    Actually, nah. My generation is a yuge disappointment.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    They should just make Fate of Atlantis into a film. It’s the second best Indy adventure after Raiders anyway.

  • Like Icare

    Well yeah… nubile is like… a given.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I prefer the term Hirsute-American, thank you.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Clerks, Mallrats, and Dogma will all ways be favorites. Chasing Amy suffers the same problem many Spike Lee films do. They don’t know how to end the film so they jump to levels of extremes. It didn’t age very well (or maybe I didn’t age very well?). Jay and Silent has a few good jokes. Clerks 2 had some good moments. Jersey Girl has a great commentary track at least and the horror ones I strongly dislike.

  • Palpatine

    You have not said that in ages.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Don’t forget t giver her money so she can make her new ego driven series. Clearly she isn’t using it to buy a condo or something.

  • Percy Gryce

    You didn’t read the fine print. I reserve the right to substantively alter any comment I make until someone replies. I reserve the right to alter any comment I make at any time to correct errors of spelling, grammar, or style or to otherwise clarify my remarks.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    I was thinking to myself just now before coming to this webzone; ‘There has to be new content, right?’. Low and Behold!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m actually looking forward to Yoga Hosers or whatever his next movie is called. It has a weird ass premise but it will be grounded in some level because Smith is making it.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    You control the world with your mind!

  • Palpatine

    Kevin Smith is a self-made director who worked his way up the Hollywood food-chain. Max Landis is Hollywood born royality on the other hand.

  • There’s a new Neil Breen jam!!

    http://www.pass-thru-film.com/

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    “I’ve seen everything’

  • Wizard Phoenix

    We knew that already.

  • tOmy`

    It’s always the one you were born into; and that always poses the same question: Is that even your generation?

    I think that each country should have its own generations (as many of us do, actually) to somehow describe a certain social zeitgeist and just forget about the general labels; they are good only for saying when you were born. And we already have xx’s for that.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Certainly not while the generation is current, but, in hindsight, eras can be characterized. That’s what History is. Now, one can always argue the accuracy, even of hindsight.
    But, if you believe in “zeitgeist,” then I think you have to believe in “generation.”

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    ohhhhhhh noooooooooooo

  • tOmy`

    The thing with generations is that they are very often connected to certain events; mostly American, because fuck the rest of the world.

    For example: “The Greatest Generation, also known as the G.I. Generation, is the generation that includes the veterans who fought in World War II. They were born from around 1900 through 1924, coming of age during the Great Depression.”

    Yea… that’s hardly gonna describe 80% of the world.

    Or Gen X: “The term has also been used in different times and places for a number of different subcultures or countercultures since the 1950s”

    Yea… that’s gonna vary a LOT as well.

    As for Millennials… well, some of our millennials has been born under oppressive, violent regime. Something tells me that your millennials won’t share that issue with us. (That’s why we have a different generation for that).

    Generation is just a time in which we were born. But all of us under different circumstances, in different worlds and culture. I always laugh at the term “millennials”, because most of the millennials here are really far from what I usually see depicted. That may happen maybe further down the road.

  • #GIFt of lie-fe!

  • Palpatine

    The word “millennials” doesn’t make much since to mee seeing as how the people born in “millennial era” weren’t even born in the new millennium.

  • Sully

    *Follicism?

  • tOmy`

    I think it is used especially for people who turn 18 / 21 (depending on a country) in 00s. But yea, that term is weird and since it’s now used mostly pejoratively, we can just as well go back to Gen Y.

  • Red Skeleton

    I like the way this man thinks!!!!

    Though I have a hard time placing anything in between Raiders and Last Crusade due to the fact they’re basically the same movie.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Sophia Hapgood would be in her late 60s. A total GILF.

  • Like Icare

    I’ll allow it.

  • Like Icare

    When you want something, the universe will conspire a quote by Paulo Coelho which will be have no relation to your actual circumstances.

  • Like Icare

    Sabertooth and Batman work as sheriffs in a small Colorado town…
    When all seems lost, they are joined by Zaltar, of Supergirl fame.

  • Rotwang

    Is there some reason Mike appears to masturbate through most of the review? It is a little distracting.

  • Thispeas30

    Does he need a reason?

  • Thispeas30

    I have to say that Landis may or may not know how to direct a film but his camera work is always rich and interesting.

  • Thispeas30

    Counterpoint: “Hollywood born royality” is generally considered to be the lowest form of hypoxic swamplife in existence.

  • Like Icare

    http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus%3Atext%3A1999.01.0241%3Acard%3D986

    In short – “Kids today…”

    In long…
    Yet certainly these are those principles by which my system of education nurtured the men who fought at Marathon.
    But you teach the men of the present day, so that I am choked, when at the Panathenaia a fellow, holding his shield before his person, neglects Tritogenia, when they ought to dance.
    Wherefore, O youth, choose with confidence, me, the better cause, and you will learn to hate the Agora, and to refrain from baths, and to be ashamed of what is disgraceful, and to be enraged if any one jeer you, and to rise up from seats before your seniors when they approach, and not to behave ill toward your parents, and to do nothing else that is base, because you are to form in your mind an image of Modesty: and not to dart into the house of a dancing-woman, lest, while gaping after these things, being struck with an apple by a wanton, you should be damaged in your reputation: and not to contradict your father in anything; nor by calling him Iapetus, to reproach him with the ills of age, by which you were reared in your infancy.

  • Tapeworm

    Ah, finally, the new episode of The Max Landis Show

  • Sully
  • Tapeworm

    Which generation is that? I am honestly lost at how to broadly identify my self-hatred (age 26, dtf)

  • Palpatine

    The greatest show ever!

  • Tapeworm

    I would like to see the picture you have saved in case someone mentions a DP…

  • tOmy`

    You are millennial. Also “post-revolution generation” in Czech Rep.

    Generally the “hot” generation.

  • Tapeworm

    Fuck me for all of those

  • Palpatine

    The Velvet Revolution, the most peaceful revolution in history.

  • Domo

    Sponsored in part by Harry Knowles.

  • Tapeworm

    Besides the beatings, yes

  • tOmy`

    And some fire. And all the years leading up to it.

    But I guess in 89 everyone was sorta just willing to get it over with and grab a beer.

  • Palpatine

    At least it wasn’t as crazy as the one in Romania. Then again that country had a nut-job running it.

  • Tapeworm

    Romania was very extreme. In here most of the crafty evil people just became highly paid managers. Velvet on both sides

  • Tapeworm

    His name always sounds like an euphemism to me.

  • Tapeworm

    I think I would hang up, if I was John Goodman and was asked if I wanna play the anthagonist in a new Cloverfield movie.

  • Here’s the thing though he didn’t know it’s a Cloverfield movie until the reshoots happened.

  • Like Icare

    He’s also a weirdo who reviews movies, you know?

    From a wheelchair.

    What is it about wheelchairs and weirdos?

  • Tapeworm

    There is a pretty awkward Filmschool Rejects interview, where the journalist just keeps asking him about the nepotism. I simply don’t care, he either makes good movies or not – getting at him for his possible headstart says more about the people complaining than him.

    Also Rey is not a Mary Sue.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I’d say “I’m glad you’re not letting your friendship with Max Landis cloud your judgment of his films,” but then again I would’ve never known this film existed without this review.

    So there’s that.

  • Tapeworm

    Don’t harsh my buzz, dude

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Susan’s hand acting in this one is a masterclass.

  • Like Icare

    #bodyshamin #I’llShowUtheLifeOfTheMind

  • junkevil

    but ghostbusters doesn’t come out until summer and I’d like another hitb before then.

  • Sully

    Why? What else is he gonna do? Bill Murray stole the role he was born to play in Jungle Book, so…

  • Tapeworm

    It was “you so fat you a monster” joke.

    I’m sorry, here’s my SJW badge and feminist gun.

    Oh wait, give them back, now I Googled “Bill Murray Jungle Book”

  • Sully

    Deadpool? Display Picture? Deep Penetration? Double Penetration? Is it double penetration? Is this a tie-in to Chasing Amy?

    Pound Sign: FingerCuffs

  • Sully

    You got a feminist gun? They told me they were all out, and to just use my dick.

  • RLMkeepitup

    mark hamill tweeted something implying Rey is like a daughter to him. he’s joking around, maybe. the joke to me is that technically he’s said more words online about the movie, than in the actual movie.

  • Percy Gryce
  • Like Icare
  • Tapeworm

    Yeah I heard. Spielberg is finally geting into the zombie genre.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Who’s more Rich Evans?

    Rich Evans or Jay Bauman?

  • Like Icare

    Hashtag: Fisting is as feminine as having babies.

  • Percy Gryce

    *Lady Ghostbusters

  • Sully

    What do you wanna bet that JJ didn’t even know it was a Cloverfield movie until the studio told them they wanted some reshoots because they were thinking about “rebranding” it.

  • Sully

    Both.

  • Palpatine

    They would just have him stomp around a cardboard city like in a Godzilla movie.

    #FatShaming

  • Percy Gryce

    Indiana Jones and the Osteoporosis Dance

  • Sully

    2019? What are they gonna call it, “Raiders of the Incontinent Aisle at Wal-Mart

  • Tapeworm

    It’s an interesting question. But what about those fucking doors?

  • Tapeworm

    “Indiana Jones: In Memory of Harrison Ford”

  • Like Icare
  • Sully

    It’s like opposite day down there!

  • Percy Gryce

    If the Men in Black can meet the cops from 21 Jump Street, why can’t Hellboy meet Indiana Jones?

  • Tapeworm

    Because 7 ate 9

  • Domo

    Or Gem and the Holograms?

    Girl Power, baby!

  • Like Icare

    Cause Guillermo del Toro is fat.

  • RLMkeepitup

    my first thought was will disney kill harrison twice in their films. i mean an atomic bomb couldn’t kill him, what will dey do

  • Tapeworm

    Girl Power Baby sounds like a series I would watch.

  • Palpatine

    Weekend at Indy’s.

  • Percy Gryce
  • Tapeworm

    It might involve a flight of stairs and no phone in reach.

  • luvs2pwge

    I’m ok with Mike pandering to Max Landis so long as they get him back for another best or wheel of the worst.

  • Percy Gryce

    A lot of directors get fat: Hitch, John Milius, Michael Moore, Kevin Smith. Jorge looks like a fat frog.

  • Domo

    Maybe Jennifer Lawrence will be cast as Hellboy, but then contractually refuse to do prosthetics.

    It’ll be another Mockingjay movie, but at least the producers got their A grade star for the moopie!

  • RLMkeepitup

    life alert! into a pit of snaaakkess

  • Percy Gryce

    Didn’t they kiss Kevin (Chasing Amy) Smith’s ass too? That would be the first time in my memory of RLMdom.

  • Like Icare

    After a young girl is impregnated by an unknown force she finds out that the gestating fetus is giving her superpowers.
    Which comes in handy not only to fight crime but also cause she soon becomes the target of a shadowy sect who believe that she is about to give birth to the antichrist.
    The truth will come out – in about 40 weeks.

  • Percy Gryce

    Ron Perlman or bust.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They call him Old Camel Feet.

  • Domo

    Ron Perlman, because he’s willing to do comical beards.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s like an echo chamber in here

  • Percy Gryce

    Raiders of the Kitchen Counter

  • Tapeworm

    Now that’s a presidential slogan I can get behind.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and The Curse of The Shitty Indie Film

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He might be Swamp Thing so that’s kinda close.

  • Percy Gryce

    Sorry, I was going to check to see who beat me to the punch.

    And then I just said, fuck it.

  • Bubs

    Elect Max Landis for president of Hollywood. Let’s make movies great again!

  • Percy Gryce

    *grating

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *Neil Breen

  • dollar store cashier wife

    stairs are a silent and efficient killer. hollywood should really make a movie about them.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvDF6lev730

  • Tapeworm

    At least he’d finally deal with the Cuaron, Innaritu situation…

  • dollar store cashier wife

    do you needed to know it exists though?

  • Percy Gryce

    Amnesty or deportation?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Public stoning on walk of fame.

  • Bubs

    It’s hard to understand Mike when he has Max Landis’ balls in his mouth a cold. Get well soon, you FFFUCK!

  • Tapeworm

    Hmmm, a bit less Oscar nominations.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I see Max Landis is taking cues from from Neil Breen by having his main character walk up a hill and then he walks away from a hill.

  • Domo

    Then they’d go to England, and get even more Oscars because they’re British.

    This doesn’t solve the problem at all.

  • Tapeworm

    Damn, the Jews thought of everything.

  • Domo

    Mazel Tov!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Pass Thru and Fateful Findings confirmed!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He is a comical beard.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Nope.

  • luvs2pwge

    Good. good

  • Percy Gryce

    I’ll allow it.

  • Percy Gryce

    And sweep for Chroniton particles while you’re at it.

  • I’ll take the bust, if you catch my drift.

  • playdude92 .

    These movie titles are impossible to remember. They´re perfectly forgettable being both way too vague (Me Him What) and way to specific (10 Cloverfield Avenue, Milwaukee, Wisconsins, United States).

  • luvs2pwge

    Mail a pizza roll to 10 Cloverfield Avenue, Milwaukee, Wisconsins, United States and you can be in the draw to win a brand new apple ipad mini

  • It’s gonna be called Indiana Jones and the Policy of No Refunds… Wait. That was Indiana Jones 4. This one is gonna be Indiana Jones and the Mystery of The Hip Replacement.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Max has the same hair as my sister. Now all I see Max Landis now is a guy who loves schlock movies who looks like a Chinese girl.

  • playdude92 .

    Also, the John Goodman one should just have been called “Remember Barton Fink?”

  • Nowhere near as good as Rich Evans’s prat falls.

  • tOmy`

    “Marco Rubio’s Washington headquarters evacuated as ‘white powder’ found in envelopes”

    We know it wasn’t Trump, tho, because he would have send white power.

  • I read it as ‘white power’, though.

  • tOmy`

    Something tells me that hair like this would get you shot in China.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *eaten

  • tOmy`

    And processed into a hot dog.

  • You’d get shot in North Korea. I think they are the ones who standardize haircuts. To be fair, that kind of hair, especially with that rainbow color would get anybody in trouble in our progressively conservative bordering on nationalism countries of middle -Eastern Yurp.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Along with the horse penis.

  • People must be warned.

  • Oooohhh… Why did I think it was supposed to be out now?

  • I’d watch that.

  • Captain_Prickhard

    “I’m done with this series!” –Spielberg objecting to Indy4 duties
    Headline: Spielberg and Ford Reunite as Indiana Jones Returns to Theaters July 19, 2019

  • tOmy`

    Really? I know like 5 people who have the very same haircut. That is why I am constantly puzzled by how much of a “problem” it is for this comment section.

    And colored hair? Dude, this is a student hipster town. Rainbow is still quite “normal”. Even I used to dye my hair.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “Harrison is the only Indy” Then why have him played by River?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Indiana Jones and The Search For More Money

  • Palpatine

    China doesn’t give a shit about what its people look like nowadays. They disgrace the memory of Chairman Mao.

  • “The thing that I’m just scared to death of is that someday I’m going to wake up and bore somebody with a film.” – Steven Spielberg

  • dollar store cashier wife

    you shouldn’t use yourself or your habitat as a world-wide-de-facto-standard. common sense fam. use it.

  • Commodus with her sister…………… ew.

  • tOmy`

    True that.

    Although I still naively believe that in 21st century, hair / colors are not viewed as a problem in a western society; unless you are of course working in a position that requires certain clothing standards.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I do think that he looks like an absolute ass clown with that hair but you know…if you have to dislike him do it for shitty scripts instead!

    #Equality

  • tOmy`

    Exactly.

  • But I hate you for your shitty wig, fam.

  • Palpatine
  • Captain_Prickhard

    Pratt sounds like a hick.

  • tOmy`

    Thank god it’s black, we wouldn’t wanna give anyone impression he is gay.

  • Palpatine

    That’s the stuff his boy Carlos sent him from Miami.

  • Palpatine

    *hunk

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s all natural fam. Eat my vaginal crust!

    http://cdn.makeagif.com/media/10-30-2015/GkJX62.gif

  • Palpatine

    George: “Do a fifth one, Steven, do a fifth one!”

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “But then I go to sleep on a big ass pile of money and forget about all that nonsense.”

  • NicCagesHair

    “Wait a minute, did someone spill the cocaine?”-Intern

    “God damnit, everyone out. I have to snort this out!”-Supervisor

  • After going full circle on the Star Wars and Nadine’s stuffs with this Cloverfield stunt, i cant wait for Mr JJ Abrams to rip off “The care boars save christmas” next..

  • NicCagesHair

    So is Harrison Ford officially trying to kill off every character someone could ask him to do another of? So he can finally just go be alone without anyone bothering him.

    I’ll put the chances Indy dies at 90%.

  • NicCagesHair

    I find his hair choices…..disturbing.

  • bleurgh

    That day came and went over a decade ago. Now it’s all he ever does.

  • NicCagesHair

    His blank stare spoke volumes.

  • bleurgh

    You seriously over-estimate the amount of work John Goodman gets offered.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Content… must be Tuesday.

  • Sully

    Tom Hardy is Indiana’s cousin, Hank in Hank Jones and the Mystery of the Why Can’t We Have New Things Adventure… Quest.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Make that poster now!

  • tOmy`

    Speaking of:

    Xena revival writer suggests the character will be openly gay in new series

  • bleurgh

    I don’t think anyone knew that until the results happened.

  • NicCagesHair

    Gotta appreciate really good actors who will occasionally say “Oh what the fuck, this might be fun.”

  • Sully

    *pending*

  • Imperial_orb

    Mayonnaise is stylistically designed to be that way and you can’t undo that.

  • NicCagesHair

    I picture him just sitting in front of a phone muttering to himself “Come on Joel and Ethan, ring damn you!”

  • Lt Hurwitz

    A movie about L.A without buff dudes? 2/10 would not bang.

  • Palpatine

    Mutt will kill Indy on a bridge and throw his dead body off of it.

  • bleurgh

    Clerks was a legitimately good movie, Dogma was also pretty decent to a certain extent. Continual diminishing returns from that point in his career onwards though. He’s a pretty great example of the downward slide effect that happens with some creative people as they age.

  • NicCagesHair

    And Clerks is a legitimately funny and well made movie.

  • NicCagesHair

    Good, we need more Shia.

  • Sully

    No, 4 was titled, Indiana Jones and the Can I Not Make This Movie and Still Maintain My Friendship With Lucas… No? Okay, As Long As There Are No Alie– Shit… Fine.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Mutt doesn’t look like Kylo Landis.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Movies ah gonna win. Theya gonna win a lot.

  • Sully
  • NicCagesHair

    Tom Hardy will mutter something incomprehensible in Indiana Jones and the Quest for the Missing Boom Mic!

  • Imperial_orb

    …part time…

  • bleurgh

    Yeah I remember them having way more problems with the movie than just the casting, but to be fair to Landis they were mostly directorial decisions

  • He’d have to die in Blade Runner 2 as well. I can see that happening. Can he also play Dr Kimble and die in The Fugitive 2 or that detective in The Witness 2? It’ll be great!

  • Get with the times, Mr. “Late to the party”.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I would say “pitiful pandering” but then again who cares about Xena other then nostalgic manchildren.

  • NicCagesHair

    And they both are stealing from Tolkien. He practically invented the walking towards then up then away from hills genre.

  • bleurgh

    It wasn’t exactly a positive review

  • RLMkeepitup

    that’s pretty good

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Lipstick.

  • RLMkeepitup

    glad I’m not the only one thinking this. could also be my lack of interest

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    So Roland Emmerich’s cock is in Jay’s mouth.

    Max Landis’ cock is in Mike’s mouth.

    Rich Evans gets XCOCK: Member Unknown

    Jack gets a pixelated cock in his mouth.

    And everyone is happy.

  • *bows* Thank you, thank you.

  • RLMkeepitup

    based on the voice pitch they haven’t dropped yet, heyooo

  • NicCagesHair

    I assume he would want to combine these movies and knock three out at once.

    So in Blade Runner 2 Deckard will be revealed as Dr Kimble who invented android technology to preserve his own life after an incident at an Amish community(I haven’t seen that one so this is just guesswork). He dies immediately in the first scene and the movie focuses on his paraplegic android nephew played by Ryan Gosling.

    Should make about 3000 billion dollars.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    You’re so damn cute! Thinking and stuff!

  • I always fantasized about her and her little blond friend being gay. I’m down with that but I also would welcome them to invite Kevin Sorbo for a threesome… only to reject and ridicule him for being the conservative bigot he is.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    err source for the first cock?

  • And we get a long Wheel of the Worst episode with cocks of various sizes and girths displayed on its face.

  • Yeah, when did Jay say he likes Emmerich?

  • Imperial_orb

    Ay yay yay, look at Jay blushing throughout the “Me Him Her” discussion.
    He must have been really angry at Mike, for handleing Max with kid gloves.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    HitB reference. It’s a deep cut.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    It may be cynical, pitiful pandering, but it really makes you feel wonderful about how much you support it.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    you improved his look! nice job.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Only Sony likes Roland Emmerich, you cock sucker.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    What about Neil Breen’s ball sack?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    alright.

  • Sully

    Tomato / Potato

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Everyone gets to sniff it.

  • This one goes for Max Landis, obviously. He was fixated on it the most.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I’d tell you which one if I could remember and/or felt like finding it.

  • Sully

    8-bit cock is the worst cock. All those jagged edges.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Jay’s shirt stains are very distracting.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I pictured it and felt pain.

  • It contrasts with his round bald head well.

  • It’s Hot Dog ketchup, calling it now.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    and is immediately cured of cancer.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Hopefully they’ll pander to tumblr next who demand “realistic female bodies/proportions”

    http://orig04.deviantart.net/7e0a/f/2013/342/c/a/fat_xena_by_cahabent-d6x6f93.jpg

    It’s gonna be great!

  • Those are American realistic proportions.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *cum stains

  • bleurgh

    I think Jay hated it because it hit a little too close to home.

  • It took 12 parsecs to make.

  • Mild Mannered Misanthrope

    What is the deal with Max Landis? I know he’s been featured on RLM, but it still isn’t justified as to why I know his name as a screenwriter. It would be easy for me to say he’s coasting off his father’s fame, and to a degree that is inevitable and I can’t fault him for that. But is there really a Max Landis following? Has he written any great scripts?

  • Palpatine

    *catsup

  • Imperial_orb

    Is this the end for HitB??

  • True. What a great man. Even Bjork praises Chairman Mao.
    https://youtu.be/94r-WhCQYIU?t=3m7s

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He looks like Kylo Ren. That’s his claim to fame.

  • If so, someone has serious prostate problems.

  • GatorMacheteJr

    Why is Jay lactating blood?

  • Amontillado

    Poor Mike, he has a cold…

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    He made a name for himself with a couple clever internet videos, as far as I know. “Wrestling isn’t Wrestling” and “The Death and Return of Superman.”

    I think a lot of his following has been cultivated by social media presence, but yes, I do think he can write screenplays.

    The Superman mini-series he’s currently writing has been very, very good.

  • Chronicle was almost universally liked. Not sure if it qualifies as a great script but the movie was considered rather good.

  • Palpatine

    I think the big deal surronding him is that he has all these ideas for movies that keep getting shot down by studio exces. and it makes him sad. I think that’s the reason. Someone correct me if I’m wrong.

  • Why is Gary Busey cumming on your face?
    And please, don’t fuel my lactation fetish.

    Maybe those are self inflicted stab wounds after seeing ME HIM HER?

  • Mild Mannered Misanthrope

    That was one of the few found footage flicks I enjoyed.

  • Mild Mannered Misanthrope

    A studio exec shooting down interesting ideas for movies!?!? NO! I can’t believe this. HOW CAN THIS HAPPEN!!?!?

  • One has to wonder whether the script itself framed it that way, though.

  • Mild Mannered Misanthrope

    So he’s a talented self-promoter. That’s what I figured.

  • Mild Mannered Misanthrope

    My faith in Hollywood has been shattered.

  • …heart?

  • Sully

    Sticks and stones and words hurt.

  • Mild Mannered Misanthrope

    If Max Landis can’t get a movie made, why would they ever fund my documentary about the importance of cat massage?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Indiana Jones and the Perfectly Avoidable Trap. See, because this movie, like the 4th one, is a trap, and I’m not going to fall for it this time.

  • Sully

    You’re a very bitter cow…

  • Sully

    You have to fall for the trap. Like Indy, if you don’t, everything becomes boring.

  • Sully

    Not that asshole again.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I’ll wait for the Plinkett review. It’ll be more entertaining.

  • Sully

    Plinkett, Spielberg. It’s all part of the trap.

  • Amontillado

    No, just a cold, you can hear his stuffed nose

  • Imperial_orb

    Indiana Jones and the lost Life Call Remote Control.

  • And here I though he was drunk…

  • He drunk up all of his integrity.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Sully has a lot of posters to make.

  • Percy Gryce
  • Percy Gryce

    Lesbians aren’t gay.

  • Percy Gryce

    Don’t forget Corey Carrier, Sean Patrick Flanery, and George Hall too.

  • Paulus Decimus Meridius

    I just hope she finds some lost amazon tribe in the first episode.

  • Percy Gryce
  • Percy Gryce

    The Taliban also would not approve.

  • tOmy`

    Kids these days call it “the Google”.

  • tOmy`

    This is such an awesome story.

  • Gentlemen, we have one. Print it!

  • Percy Gryce

    You’re saying I should buy that and send it to RLM, aren’t you?

  • tOmy`

    I think AU was a refreshing script; although I can’t really vouch for the final quality of the movie, the premise was pretty fun (albeit not being as unique as claimed), it had a lot of cool moments (mishandled in the final product), some neat ideas Mike and Jay didn’t talk about when reviewing, one great memorable moment…

    I ain’t no expert on screenwriting and god knows what Max created himself and what was added / cut, but the movie had much bigger problems than the script. Sure, it’s not revolutionary, but did it have a potential? I would say yes.

    (Possibly solidifying him as an “ideas guy”)

  • Percy Gryce

    I’ve watched the Salma Hayek dancing scene many times, IFYWIMAITYD.

  • Captain_Prickhard

    Trashy Floridians love Trump.

  • Domo

    If Indy falls again he’s gonna break another ankle. Possibly a hip, too.

  • Mr. Landis should stop making movies and get back to posting lowlight, fuzzy youtube rants. Oh well look at me complaining on a random Internet commentboard about stuff I know absolutely nothing about. Life is good, innit?

  • Sully

    Indiana Jones and the Visit to the Orthopedic Office

  • He’ll just read stuff of the teleprompter like Reagan and tell a few jokes about commies, he’ll be fine. Oh. I mentioned this already? How repetetive. Sorry. Luckily, history never repeats itself.

    #SeeYouInHellAmerica

  • Percy Gryce

    It’s this the Adam Sandlerization of Steven Spielberg: when someone will pay you LOTS of money to hang around with your friends and phone in some film work.

    It’s gonna be great.

  • Sully

    He’ll hit his stride. He should slow down a bit though. I can understand burning up the page to get your name out there, but once it’s out there, as his is now, it becomes time to start making it count.
    He’s mentioned in the past about his ability to blow through screenplays faster than most. That breakneck pace is likely why his films fall under “Ok, neat.” instead of “Wow! Fucking rad!” His closest to great (for me) was Chronicle.
    While he didn’t direct it, his screenplay had good characters, cool premise, and a solid arc.

  • Captain_Prickhard

    s’gonna be great.

  • Sully

    They’ll all be drowned soon anyway, so… fuck those generic assholes.

    Pound Sign: GlobalWarming=LiberalAgendaToKillConservatives
    Pound Sign: HAARPisReal
    Pound Sign: TheBernFeelsMoreLikeAMildRashNow

  • Captain_Prickhard

    #FloridaSoBasic

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You’re implying Mike has a heart.

  • Sully

    He’s got a lead filling in the cavity in his chest where his heart used to be. Does that count?

  • tOmy`

    When talking about Max’s work, I (and a lot of others I saw defending him) use the word “cool” a lot.

    I think that is one of his quirks; he is trying to be “too cool”. AU was so cool it was borderline “right in your face”. It didn’t exactly help.

  • Sully

    I haven’t seen that one. I’m not a fan of Jesse Eisenberg, so any time I see his name headlining a poster it’s [generally] an automatic pass for me.

  • bleurgh

    He’s a celebrity based on the fact that he stirs up a lot of controversy on social media.

  • Oh, Chronicle. Mr Landis did a great screenp[DIRECTOR]. Oh, I wanted to say that Mr Landis is the greates[DIRECTOR]… ehm like I was saying writers semdom get cre[DIRECTOR]!

    Yeah. Maybe. American Ultra and this direct to Netflix film is not my style really. They are to ADD rapid fire jokey whatever. If a “comedy” is accidentally created in the process I might like it. Its too much for me. I equate them with colloge movie types.

    Chronicle had a cool concept and a good execution[DIRECTOR].

    Ehm, I dunno.

  • It is pretentious. It has that collage movie charm…. WHAT?

  • tOmy`

    Yea, me neither. And the lady vampire ain’t my cup of coffee either. I just decided on watching it after the RLM review. Made me kinda curious.

  • Also sinkholes.

  • tOmy`

    Wouldn’t say pretentious. It’s far from trying to be smart / being smart to hit the “pretentious” vibe for me.

    Also: I don’t think that when you turn everything to 11, if you can somehow come off as “pretentious”. Hey, maybe it is a language barrier thing, but for me, only those obscure indie dramas come off as pretentious.

  • tOmy`

    Sorry, it wasn’t the review, it was the conversation. I was kinda curious about his defense of the movie and the marketing problems surrounding it.

  • Oh. Ehm. I said pretentious meaning its not dumb. Its trying to be clever by being over thetop and to much and become ironic… I dunno how to explain.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, I think we agree on that. I just call that specific thing “too cool” / “in your face”.

    But I agree with you.

  • Amontillado

    This is why cops and crooks don’t mingle, or critics and their subjects: situations like these. So it didn’t float Mike or Jays boat, but you don’t want to publicly criticize a friend, so what can you do? Hopefully, everyone has a bunch of booze together and agree that there has to be some boundaries – this HITB episode was awkward for everyone.

  • Derogatory. Selfirony with contempt.A better word.

    I am Generation X and as usual we suppose to hate the coming thing replacing us and our tastes and values.

    Maybe thats why I have a hard time liking Mr. Landis.

  • His promotions for “He Him Her” seem funnier than the movie itself.

  • Amontillado

    His integrity curled into a ball in the base of his spine, shedding quiet tears as Mike’s brain decided to do some yoga-esque twists and turns trying to criticize a movie without being an asshole to a friend.

  • Amontillado

    I thought it was empty beer bottles and rum.

  • tOmy`

    I am okay with people hating Max, I just dislike some of the comments; especially when it came to Conversation video comments. Some of the reasoning was just appalling…

    But that is my own issue. As I said last time, people attacking him for certain things just rub me wrong for some reason. Hey! I found my trigger then I guess!

    Am I a feminist? Is this what feminism feels like?

  • Amontillado

    If Kylo Ren and My Little Pony had a love child, and that love child banged Kramer from Seinfeld, then you get Max Landis.

  • Amontillado

    Can the Wizard get a cock too? Or is he not important enough? And what about Colin from Canada and Jimmy?

  • Amontillado

    All those nights in the Manhole…

  • Sully
  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Only the Core Four get mouth cocks.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    “Every character sounds like Max Landis.”
    So every character sounds like Ritalin and Helium hate-fucked one night and made a baby? (Just kidding, Max– you know I love you.)

  • Sully

    You’re thinking of his liver cavity.

  • Nemo

    Sword finalé? Well, I recently discovered that Max is a big fan of Sono Sion’s “Love Exposure,” the climax of which has a guy wielding a sword . . . while dressed as the heroine of the ’70s “Female Prisoner 701” series . . .

    Anyone else see Sono’s “Real Onigokko”?

  • Sully

    It’s called Disney, you musophobic son-of-a-bish!

  • Sully

    I sure know I have. . . . . . . . . . . . . . n’t.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    Mike seemed to be more the one who was rationalizing the unfavorable aspects of the movie– Jay didn’t really seem to give a fuck.
    Maybe it’s because Jay sat further away from Landis than Mike did during their screening of ‘Double Down,’ so their psychic, spiritual bond is not as strong.

  • Alex Lee

    Scott Bakula should do a Mitt Romney impression.

  • I dont remember what people wrote. I think you must aknowlage his passion and insight. He’s going places. He’s working hard. He has his traits and his humour and I cant stand that but can be generous still.

    I don’t hate him. But I don’t enjoy the… never mind. It really doesnot matter. I only come here to mess around. If people like him I try not to be to mean.

    Angry triggered feminists are cool though and slow runners. I ran over one yesturday. Marvelous.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and The Lines At Country Kitchen Buffet

  • Amontillado

    I get them mixed up, maybe because of all these vodka gimlleeeeeedths…..snrrrrrrr

  • Amontillado

    Life is so cruel and unfair…

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    His eyebrows really do speak volumes, don’t they?

  • I only watch black and white japanese cinema. But Ill give those a shot.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost ARRRRRRGH! MY FUCKING BACK!

  • Amontillado

    I got that vibe too. There was problem a montage we missed in the Neil Breen BOTW episode where Max Landi’s soul and Mike’s soul held hands skipping through a daisy field before riding a pair of pegasuses together. And then going to a Manhole for booze and glory.

  • Amontillado

    Wasn’t that a Quantum Leap episode?

  • Amontillado

    Indiana Jones and the Mystery of the Metamusil

  • Alex Lee

    Yeah, I’m not convinced Landis isn’t trying to steal Trank’s credit for it, so I credit Chronicle‘s success to Trank.

  • -Belloq!
    -Haha, thats right Indy.
    -Give me back my pudding.
    -Oh, doctor Jones. What you find I take. Like your medicine.
    -Bello.. awrgh. My heart.
    -Haha, thats right Indy.

  • Alex Lee

    He might very well be a better actor than writer.

  • Palpatine

    Indiana Jones and the Temple of Retirement.

  • “We’re bestest friends”

    -Mike Stoklasa

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    Is that an always sunny reference at the end?

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    After noticing Max still being butthurt about their review of Chronicle (which, again, Mike says he likes here!), this was great. Max said he won’t watch this review… probably for the best.

  • Amontillado

    “There’s this place that I know…”
    -Max Landis

  • Captain_Prickhard

    Thirty years after Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade what will Indy be doing?
    It’s 1968: Prague Spring, Tet Offensive, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Planet of the Apes, US Civil Rights Act, Paris student uprising, MLK & RFK assassinated, Nixon elected US Pres., Apollo 8 goes around the moon, etc., etc

  • Nemo

    I have issues with some of the classic B&W era ones anymore, though I love Ichikawa Kon and Okamoto Kihachi (admittedly only for “Nikudan,” but it’s enough).

    “Love Exosure” is well worth it, not my favourite Sono, but his best I’ve seen:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Fxa5NuVrqU

  • NicCagesHair

    While this one is clearly Indy goes to the moon then. It’s the stupidest idea up there. Although Indy assassinates the Kennedys would certainly be unexpected.

  • Palpatine

    Indy in spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!!!!!

  • Indiana Jones and the Search for Porn

  • “Houston, we have a back problem.”

  • Captain_Prickhard

    Indy: Moonraker?

  • tOmy`

    Awwwwwwwwww, Daredevil is so great!

    #MarvelZombie #GothamWho

  • tOmy`

    “Prague Spring”

    Well, thanks a lot, mate, till now I thought there is no way this movie is gonna hurt me more than Skull did.

  • Indiana Jones and the Jedi Temple of Doom?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and The Dance of Tay Zonday

  • Palpatine

    Indy goes to the Moon where he finds the Soviet’s trying to find a Monolith that they use to take over the world with.

  • Palpatine

    Yes. This.

  • NicCagesHair

    Seijun Suzuki made some great black and white Japanese cinema

  • Trust me, only a matter of time. 😉

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    I haven’t seen their ‘Chronicle’ review in a while, but I remember that their biggest complaints about the movie came from the found footage gimmick. When it came to the characters and plot, though, they were very complimentary. How Max Landis could POSSIBLY interpret as a negative review is mind-boggling to me. I fucking saw ‘Chronicle’ ON MIKE AND JAY’S RECOMMENDATION.

  • NicCagesHair

    His biggest challenge will be avoiding a ten minute long awkward stare with Master Luke on a mountaintop.

  • Internet drama pays the bills.

  • junkevil

    I only give Trank full credit for the film he wrote and directed by himself called Fant4stic.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and The Temple of Child Murder

  • Captain_Prickhard

    Indy discovers the monolith that guided the evolution of the Monkees.

  • -“Han, you’re alive!”
    -“Part time.”

  • NicCagesHair

    “It seems the nazis feel if they can harness the power of this chocolate rain, they will be unstoppable on the western front.”

  • Sully

    He beats the fuck outta Bruce Wayne, that’s for sure.

  • NicCagesHair

    “Wait how did you know I was dead, wait did you feel it in the force and then LET IT HAPPEN!? Wow Luke some friend you are”-Han/Indy beginning a 45 minute argument.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Wesley is my favorite character.

  • tOmy`

    “It’s not as easy as it looks in the movies, you know?”
    “I don’t really go to the movies.”

  • Sully

    He also has a sexy nurse to tend to his wounds instead of a crotchety old British guy. Holla!

  • Palpatine

    Okay, here are my “great” ideas for Indiana Jones 5:

    Either A.) Make it an animated movie. Have Harrison Ford and all the other actors just voice their characters and leave the rest of the work to the animators.

    Or B.) Have two actors play Indy. Make the film about an old Indy, played by Ford, telling the story of one of his adventures to his grandkids, and have flashback Indy be played by Owen Thunderguns or someone like that.

    Again, just my suggestions.

  • And to top it all off, Kurt Russell will return as Snake Plissken. This time as the villain.

    “Snake… why did it have to be Snake?”

  • tOmy`

    What happened to the “We better not” suggestion?

  • Or in a total surprise, avant garde move just make it an all female cast.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    This review probably wasn’t Mike’s strongest, but I did like the dynamic Mike and Jay had where Jay casually dismissed the movie for its failings and Mike bent over backwards to justify the movie’s failings. I sort of take for granted how Jay can sort of be a voice of reason for when Mike gets a little too whimsical. He’s probably my favorite reviewer on this site, even though everyone in RLM is irreplaceable in their own right. (Yes, even Jack, because this comments section has so much pent-up frustration that we would be lost without our punching bag.)

  • Palpatine

    Ha ha ha ha, you silly goose! To Lucas and his puppet Spielberg, that’s not a suggestion!

  • Captain_Prickhard

    100% CGI young Harrison Ford as Indy!

    CG Indy is the key to all of this – if we get Indy working. ‘Cause he’s a more bankable character than we’ve ever had.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    Donald Trump could be the next president of the US.
    The “we better not” suggestion, at this point, has been filled with stab wounds and dumped in a shallow grave.

  • tOmy`

    He can also pull off a black t-shirt and a cheap mask better than Wayne his multimiilion, rubbly nipple suit.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    I would certainly trade Bruce Wayne’s immense wealth and slavishly loyal butler to allow Rosario Dawson to regularly mend me.

  • Zackrooo Snyderooo! Arigato, onii-chaan! Where’s the tentacle rape? Unsubscribed.

  • Are you kidding? This is just as good as Jurassic World! I’m hyped!

  • RLMkeepitup

    im guessing the book will be better /more story than the movie. and yes, i mean comic book

  • Its gonna have dinosaurs man. Riding motorbikes! I’m hyped!

  • RLMkeepitup

    why not. they cgi’d you into thatxmen thing. creep factor was only 6/10

  • Don’t get fishy, kid!

  • Captain_Prickhard

    Still predicting it’ll be ‘Yawn of Justice’…
    which reminds me of a truly boring film I saw a few years ago, Planet of the Apes: Yawn of the Banana Hammocks

  • Sully

    Word.

  • Studio Executive

    If you don’t like it, you don’t have to watch it: just but a ticket and throw it in the trash.

  • Go see it. It has cool visuals. Ben Affleck. It has everything! I’m hyped!

  • Why is the Facebookman trying to take over the world?

  • No this is a comicbook movie! Not some lame Nolan realism or Marvel-nerf! This is comic books made real! I’m hyped!

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    I don’t really like Eisenber’s Luthor. I’m not a huge comic book or Superman guy, so I don’t know about all the ways Luthor has been depicted over the years, but I prefer him to be suave and charismatic businessman with a dangerously fragile ego. Like, he’s the kind of guy who could sell you snake oil and then he’ll poison you with said snake oil for so much as asking if he’s naturally bald.
    I liked the kind of… oily quality that Clancy Brown gave him in the cartoons.

  • Domo

    I never thought you’d sell out to the dinosaurs.

    Hack.

  • Im very unfamiliar with comics. So I guess I’m the wrong toad to comment. Its a realisation of a screen being so dense with things. It’s unbearable. But still! I’m hyped!

  • They added some of his DNA to the dinosaurs’. He is just being a frog supremacist.

  • Sully

    I dunno. I’m still not feeling it. Something about the visuals Snyder uses that strips away the impact of the drama. Too cartoony maybe? I dunno. It also feels off, stylistically, from the tone he set in Man of Steel, not that I liked MoS, but it was at least pretty.

  • Friddin Stoklasa classic Jurassic World! I’m hyped!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Jones v Solo: Dawn of AARP Memberships

  • Ah. Yes. My species is da best! I have three p*enises! How many do hiu-maans have?

  • RLMkeepitup

    harrison can still act, I give him that. maybe spielberg saw that and agreed on indy 12.. i’m curious why

  • Too cartoony? YES! An exact adaptation of a comicbook! And I hate it! But still! I’m hyped!

  • Captain_Prickhard

    Bruce Wayne goes through an expensive divorce and begins sleeping with the nanny while Superman skips leg days at the gym.

  • Do you have to make that stupid “BLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLLLL” noise everytime you ejaculate?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    “Superman skips leg days at the gym.”

    Larf!

  • Raptors’ ridin’ on motorcycles on the roof of a hype train gotta count for something!

  • [REDACTED]

  • Frank Lovejoy

    That’s great. Brainwashed-from-birth left-wingers love a fake socialist who spent his whole life living off other peoples’ money (or maybe that’s a real socialist) and a felon who sold her office to the highest bidder.

    They’re all a joke, and Trump is exactly the same as Obama. People like you put us in this situation.

  • RLMkeepitup

    dinosaurs work for the humans now, its not a theme park its a labor camp

  • Sully

    Still more believable than Batman standing a chance against Superman.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    “Ohmigod. Ohmigod. Ohmigod. Spider-Man. Ohmigod. Ohmigod. Ohmigod. Spi. Ohmigod. Der. Ohmigod. Ohmigod. Man. Spider-Man. Ohmigod.”

  • But he’s better prepared. Unsubscribed! #campwayne #campbatman #campmovie

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    These trailers haven’t done much for me.
    Some of them have been way, way too revealing of the plot– showcasing the villain that Batman and Superman will inevitably join up to fight was a very, very bad call.
    This trailer was on the opposite end of the spectrum where it was basically just Batman and Superman slamming into each other and doesn’t really contain anything tantalizing about the story itself. And I guess that’s because the story has already been summarized in OTHER trailers but… Fuck, why do their need to be so many trailers?
    In terms of tone, these trailers are all over the place. One of them felt like a weird Vaudeville routine, one of them made this movie seem like this movie was going to be a dark meditation on Batman and Superman’s place in their world, and THIS one makes the movie look like it’s going to be an action-packed schlock-fest. (Which, really, it would be anyway.)
    It’s like they don’t really know what movie they’re trying to sell so they’re just throwing things against a wall and seeing what sticks.

  • Captain_Prickhard

    What have I done now?

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    “Indiana Jones: and The Golden Colostomy Bag”

  • It’s true… all of it.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    “Indiana Jones: and The Reverse Mortgage.”

  • Frank Lovejoy

    I’m curious as to why you think he’ll “hit a stride”. Hollywood is plagued by nepotism. This isn’t anything new, but it seems that the less talented Hollywood kids just went unnoticed in the past. Now we are expected to believe that the ability to entertain is genetic, and the result is Jaden fucking Smith.

  • Yes. But Batman has a wacky sceme to steal that diamond. Im thinking cryptonite suit. It always almost defeats Superman everytime. In the end though, theyll be bestest friends.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Yeah. You know who thinks this besides you?

    #No-fyucking-body.

  • Captain_Prickhard

    Indiana Jones and Golddiggers

  • Sully

    That’s because the studio is worried that the audience reaction won’t carry the film through several weeks, which it would need to make it’s money back and fuel the slate of new DC character films set to release in the near future.
    By aiming the marketing at every possibly demographic they can at least hope that week one will pay off the debt.

  • Indiana Jones and Collapse of the Subprime Mortgage Bubble

  • Sully

    Camp is right.

  • Well Spocks a motorbike junkie now so… anything goes?

    #Argo

    https://youtu.be/XRVD32rnzOw?t=50s

  • I ain’t sayin’ he a gold digger, but he ain’t messin’ with no broke… naggers.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    The system works!

  • Bruce Wayne Bruce Wayne’s though womens batcaves like there is no tomorrow! WHAT?

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    #campadamwest.

  • Should’ve cast Vin Diesel instead of Leonard Nimoy.

    xXx: Vulan Vengeance 3

  • Captain_Prickhard

    Indiana Jones and His Cryonically Preserved Head

  • *…of Walt Disney

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Boo, you.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Man, how bad of a director do you have to be for your movie about a guy coming out of the closet not to win ALL the awards in Hollywood?!?

  • Sully

    Kryptonite only takes away his kryptonian powers. He’s still a normal guy around Kryptonite with normal, built like a brick shit-house, strength. And there’s a giant hole in Batman’s armor, right where the mouth is.

    BAM!!! BOOM!!! POW!!! FLACKOWW!!

    oooohhhh my bat fillings went down my throat… Alfred… Alfredddd… call Dr. Flanigan. Tell him I need my grille reinstalled. Tell him I want some of them Joker bling teeth. Yeah… the ones Leto got.

  • Nimoy’s Spock could bust things up though.

    https://media.giphy.com/media/6RoUMn34pqvcs/giphy.gif

  • Rob Peterson

    Perhaps Mike and Jay should find some way to NOT meet and become friends with people who’s movie they’ll one day review. It was uncomfortable watching these guys make excuses for “Me It Thing” to save face when it was so obvious they wanted to take a chili-laced dump on it.

  • Sully

    Don’t be jealous. It’ll all be over soon.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    Harrison Ford can act when he actually gives enough of a fuck to TRY.
    He sort of goes back and forth. He performance as Han Solo in the earlier ‘Star Wars’ movies made the character one of the most dashing rogues in cinematic history, but he just sort of slept-walked through the performance in ‘Return of the Jedi.’ One of the most pleasant surprises of ‘Force Awakens’ was that Harrison Ford actually brought something to his character.
    So can he still act?
    “PART TIME!”

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    I think Jay held back more to avoid having an argument with Mike than to spare Max Landis’s feelings.

  • RLMkeepitup

    imagine a crossover film with graboids #tangenttangent http://www.blackopstoys.com/catalog/images/SC-3905-06.JPG

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    It was after awards season?

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    Good, I was wondering how they were going to work Hitler back into the series.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    Same; yet somehow he sticks to his original statement that they liked the Hobbit but NOT Chronicle, although in actuality, they recommended both movies, but certainly gave Chronicle a much more positive and enthusiastic review. At this point, if I were him I would have deleted that tweet.. but barring that, I wouldn’t continue to insist that point whenever people tweet me about it.

  • It’s gonna be awesome make so much money in the Chinese oxoffice.

  • Jerome Gorden

    Get off your lazy fucking ass and give us what we want you fat homo. Nobody cares about half in the bag.

  • Sully

    Is that like the box-office, but in Zootopia?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Sally Field on playing “Aunt May”…

    “It’s really hard to find a three-dimensional character in it, and you work it as much as you can, but you can’t put ten pounds of shit in a five-pound bag.”

    #ILikeHer,IReally,ReallyLikeHer

  • Sully

    Only a Batman fan would believe otherwise. Matt Murdock is a certified badass.

  • Sorry. Im at work. It’s the middle of the week. I’m drunk. JEJEJEJEJE DIOS BURRITO.

  • Indiana Jones: Part Time

  • Yes. This.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Indiana Jones and The All-U-Can Eat Buffet (Seniors Half-Price Before 3 P.M.)

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    Ten pounds of shit in a five-pound bag…
    That’s a clear reference to the colostomy-bag of her bedridden character in ‘Forrest Gump.’
    It’s featured in a deleted scene that is available absolutely nowhere.

  • ??

  • RLMkeepitup
  • Captain_Prickhard

    Will Indy still be walking around in those same brown pants and a leather jacket?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Depends.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Indiana Jones and The False Teeth of Woe

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    I don’t get people saying Mike was too nice to Max, etc. I thought he was throwing major shade throughout… but then again I interpreter that comment as Max being a big dick, not having a big dick.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    Indiana Jones and the Last Senior Cruise Line.

  • Sully

    Because he has a knack for compelling storytelling. He’s a character writer, but (it seems) he isn’t good at allowing ideas to cook. To me it seems that he get’s a spark of plot and character and begins writing immediately.
    I have stories like that, but my best shit has been sitting in my brain for a few years. My absolute best, a few decades.
    I believe if he slowed down and focused more on quality instead of quantity, we’d see a stronger screenwriter/filmmaker. He’s got the passion, and that’s damn near enough for me.

    Jaden Smith is a different story. Jaden couldn’t give a shit about acting or filmmaking. His dad is trying to force the life on him when it’s clear Jaden only cares about wealth and attention, hence his latest exploits as a female model. “I did it for the money.”

  • Sully

    Hey! Get yer own jokes, motherfucker!

  • Captain_Prickhard

    Big City Mayor Indiana Jones and his Police Riot

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Indiana Jones and The Prescription for Schpilkus

  • Sully

    HEY!! No obese, homosexual, or indolent shaming here!

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    I’m sorry, but Rich Evans’s “Two Golden Girls, One Depends” line was the very first joke about old people soiling themselves and every variant of that joke is mere plagiarism.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Nor anal shaming

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    Yeah, don’t Mike and Jay have ENOUGH shame in their lives?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Indiana Jones and The 4-Hour Boner

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    Jay kept shaming the anuses in ‘Cloverfield,’ a deeply problematic act that I will be sure to write a lengthy thinkpiece about.
    Be sure to share it on Facebook and don’t forget to like and subscribe.

  • Sully

    I belong in a museum!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Retweet

  • Captain_Prickhard

    Call your doctor for showtimes.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    REBLOG!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Indiana Jones and The FOX News Effect

  • Captain_Prickhard

    “Oh em gee! Hashtag anus!”

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    #buttholemonsters
    #mansplaining

  • Sully

    Isn’t that kinda like the telephone game, only with lies and horseshit?

  • Captain_Prickhard

    Indiana Jones and The Nigerian Prince

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    The movie in which Indiana Jones very easily falls for an email scam because he’s too senile to understand technology.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Indiana Jones and The Difficulty Texting

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    I always thought a lot of republican Floridians were Cubans, yet neither of the Cuban candidates won any delegates there…

  • Captain_Prickhard

    Indiana Jones and Her Majesty’s UK Lottery!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    We share, potty mouth.

  • Captain_Prickhard

    I guess Florida is a lot bigger than Miami.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Last one for tonight…

    Indiana Jones and The Ten Pounds of Shit in The Five Pound Bag

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    That title really came out of the left Field.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and The Mystery of That One Take

  • Sully

    All I can say is, thank the Lawd for commas.

  • Michael Collins

    Indiana Jones and the Gay Jedi

  • Sully

    Seriously. YOU HAD A BETTER TAKE IN THE FUCKING TRAILER!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO IT?! WHERE DID IT GO?!

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    Indiana Jones: Help, I’ve Fallen Into a Snake Pit And I Can’t Get Up!

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    Indian Jones Makes His Son Explain His Computer To Him Because He Doesn’t Trust The Indians Who Handle Tech-support, Those Monkey-Brain-Eating Bastards.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    Unfortunately. Still, you woulda thought they’d get one or something.

  • Palpatine

    Indiana Jones and His Unexpected Funeral.

  • The Elegant Flaw Filial

    In fairness, I think the funeral of a seventy year old man who is punched in the face for a living would be very expected.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and The Sudden Plane Crash

  • Sully

    Indiana Jones and the… Wait, That’s Not My Whip, That’s My Catheter Hose!

  • Palpatine
  • Sully

    no

  • Palpatine

    That’s what I said.

  • RLMkeepitup
  • Indiana Jones and The Mr. T Animated Series

  • Kenshiroh

    So B. would be “Young Indiana Jones Chronicles: The Movie”. (George Lucas “special editioned” the versions of YIJC on DVD to remove the old Indy telling someone a story wraparound bits, except for that one episode in which not-quite-as-old Indy was played by Harrison Ford.)

  • MySpace user?

  • Kenshiroh

    Short Round has to help him pick out a retirement home because Mutt Williams was a crappy son and bailed on him. (Or Mutt died in a horrific accident.)

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Wizard Phoenix

    “Yeah, Mr Jones! Yeah science!”

  • Palpatine

    Holy crap, I forgot about that show.

  • Indiana Jones and the Speer of Urethral Destiny

  • Flagged.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and The Erectile Dysfunction

  • Indiana Jones and the Kingdong of Viagra Falls

  • “Archaeologist from the past, meet archaeologist from the future.”

  • Indiana Jones and the Laminate Plank Flooring

  • Indiana Jones and the Insomnia of Prickhard?

  • Commander X

    Indiana Jones and The…This…Damned Couch…Give Me a Minute to Get Off This Thing…Ugh, My Spine Popped

  • Indiana Jones and the Sea Men from Uruguay

  • Mangiagli1145

    Indiana Jones and The Cloverfield

  • Especially when the Half in the Bag is about fat homos.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    10 Indiana Jones Lane

  • Mangiagli1145

    Indiana Jones and The Return of The LA Rams

  • Mangiagli1145

    Indiana Jones and The Search For Plinkett

  • Indiana Jones and the Battle of the Five Armies

  • Palpatine

    Indiana Jones and the Afterlife Journey.

    “His Death Will Be His Greatest Adventure!”

  • In Diana: Jonesy gets naughty

  • Palpatine

    I’m serious about this by the way. Indy can go into the spirt world or whatever and encounter all his old friends and enemies there! Sound stupid? Well guess what? It is!

  • Mangiagli1145

    Indiana Jones and The Real City of Milwaukee

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and The Magic Cancer Curing Rock

  • Mangiagli1145

    Indiana Jones and The Search For The Best Ballsack

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “No more books!”
    -Henry “Indiana” Jones Jr.

  • Michael Collins

    Indiana Jones and the medals…all of them

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and The DirectTV Satellites

  • Michael Collins

    Indiana Jones and the Anthrax

  • Mangiagli1145

    Indiana Jones and The Broken Laptops.

  • Michael Collins

    Indiana Jones and the dead wife

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and the Tuna Cans

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and the Poisoned Strawberries

  • Mangiagli1145

    Indiana Jones and The Recruitment of More Pimps

  • Mangiagli1145

    Indiana Jones and The Cancer Infested Rats

  • Now this is just silly. SOLD!

  • Indiana Jones: 9/11

  • Mangiagli1145

    Indiana Jones and AIDS

  • Mangiagli1145

    Indiana Jones and The Exploding Varmints

  • bjørn jonas lundberg Lohne

    Is Mike soubest to shake that muc for comeid effetct? Or is he an alcoholic like me? Please just give him a drink before he splffrrfererer on us or whatever

  • bjørn jonas lundberg Lohne

    God damnit my roommate keeps fucking his bitch, and I’m reduced to thrwing bootlees filled with piss unto my neighboors patio. Because fuck that guy, AND his fucking motorcross

    Ps: He (my neighboor) lives in an urban area

  • Mangiagli1145

    Indiana Jones 6: Back To 9/11

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and the Roommate Who Keeps Fucking His Bitch

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and The AI From The Future

  • Mangiagli1145

    Indiana Jones and The Old Bean Factory

  • Rob Peterson

    YOU ARE A GENIUS!!!

  • Mangiagli1145

    Indiana Jones and The Smell Of Urine In The Air

  • Rob Peterson

    Indiana Jones And The Grab For Cash

  • Alex Lee

    Isn’t that called Blade Runner?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No, it’s called Pass Thru.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Damnit! I got here too late to know what spurred all the Indiana Jones jokes and I’m too lazy to scroll down and find out.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Indiana Jones: Meets The Three Stooges.

  • Joe Syxpac

    “Stooges,” Indiana scoffs, “I hate those guys.”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    They should move Indy to the 80’s in Miami,
    Indy: Vice.

  • RLMkeepitup
  • bleurgh

    The casting was off. If you’re premise is that a lazy goofball stoner type turns out to be a Jason Bourne / sleeper agent then you don’t cast Jessie Eisenberg.

  • Chuck Afterburner

    10 Cloverfield Lane, a rip off of The Divide

  • Snake Squeezer

    Do you think Spielberg watched Harrison in TFA, and was like, “WE’RE BACK BABY!”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and THE FUCKING DOORS

  • Palpatine

    Indiana Jones and the Disappearance of Steven Spielberg’s Talent as a Director.

  • thestoner

    I think this was the most boring and pointless episode in the review series. Perhaps a drink or two or watching you assholes take a nap would have been more exciting. I’ve had bowel movements that are more interesting…

  • Paul S.

    “no more max landis stories” – Mike
    ok good.

  • Rheumi

    I hope Max Landis comes back for revenge! Oh Sry…wait…..

    Indiana Jones and the second revenge of Max Landis.

    better?

  • Stuart Croy

    Indiana Jones and the Best Ball Sack

  • Potayto-potahto.

  • Wrinkled and shrivelled if anything.

  • That happened a long time ago.

  • He thought “We’re home, Harry”.

  • Marlene Gallant

    When I saw the draft of 5436 dollars,,,tu I accept that my friend’s brother was like really generating cash in his free time with his PC. . His aunt’s neighbor has done this for only 10 months and by now repaid the loan on their home and bought a new Car .

    To Know More Click Here
    jm…

  • More pimps, more pushers.

  • Sully

    Tits or it didn’t happen.

  • Sully

    Will Indy be using his now more loose and dangly scrotum as his whip in the new movie?

  • Sully

    Nobody wants to hear about your butthole antics, stoner!

  • Sully

    Maybe he can meet Doc Brown!

    Indiana Jones and the Time Traveling DeLorean: Back to WWII

  • bleurgh

    I feel like it would have much more comedic potential if it was a straight actor who had to pretend to come out in order to save his career. Or if that’s too cynical maybe he does something that accidentally makes him seem gay and just goes along with it because it has a positive affect on his career. I should be a screen-writer.

  • FishbowlPhenom

    That big raucous laugh at the end is the best thing in RLM history.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    PeeWee kicks Daredevil’s ass on Netflix.I have no idea if this is true, but I do know Adam Sandler is popular on Netflix.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Now with 100% more loose and dangly.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Indiana Jones v. John McClane and The Time-Traveling Menace: Dawn Hard

  • tOmy`

    NETFLIX IS NEXT HBO.

    Well… EVERYONE IS NEXT HBO!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    The announcement of Indy 5. We haven’t even begun to rank on Disney’s new Young Indiana Jones yet.

    He is a very, very, very pretty man.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Indiana Jones and The 2, 2, 3, 4, 3, 2, 3, 4…

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Indiana Jones and The Secret Cabal to Retrieve The Republican Candidacy for President

  • tOmy`

    Maybe she will also travel in time to make Supy and Baty fwiends again!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    When I was your age, we had to walk to the neighbor’s to watch HBO, and the nearest neighbor lived 17 miles away.

    “Cable?,” my old man said. “What’s a cable, boy? Have ye did yer chores yet?”

    “Yes’m,” I’d answer, because I always did my chores first thing when my pet rooster crowed, to git ’em outta the way afore school. “But, Pops, everbody’s gots the HBO, and they all been watching THE GREAT SANTINI, like, everday, on account of that and THE BEASTMASTER is pretty much all’s on, but, still, it’s the newest thing.”

    “Ah’ll tell ye somethin’ ’bout the newest thing, boy. While ago, dem hippies were the newest thing, and look at ’em now that they gots that damn-fool Carter in the White House. There ain’t no rekkening the newest thing. Soon’s you gonna be telling me that they’re gonna have telephones that you can fit in yer britches and carry ’round witcha. Well, no damn thankee, boy! This here telegraph was good enough for my pappy, as it twere good enough fer his pappy, n’ is damn-sure good enough for you.”

    “Kay, Pops. Sure. I’mma let you finish, but I’mma jus’ gonna mosey down to the neighbor’s fer a spell.”

    “Alright. See you Tuesday.”

    END SCENE

  • tOmy`

    Well, back when you were my age, HBO wasn’t steadily making influential TV masterpieces, so you didn’t miss much.

    I remember when HBO got here, it was a big thing, the “it” channel (for obvious reasons), yet I remember that nobody paid attention to their shows. Thank god for the internet.

  • Paulus Decimus Meridius

    The power of gay is almost like Rich Evans laughter, it can solve anything.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “Are those vultures?”
    ” No that’s Steven Spielberg and George Lucas!”
    “What’s the difference?”

  • tOmy`

    “Are they blind?”

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Now Paw… its your democratic duty to kill them Democrats.
    Its time to buy a helmet and enjoy the ride.

  • Now I Get It

    They’ve talked for years about a Hellboy-Indy franchise based on Warner’s old Sam & Ralph cartoons. The hitch has always been deciding who gets to be the sheepdog and who has to play the coyote he beats the shit out of in every scene.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Spielberg will make you care that your dying. and then win and Oscar.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I have more working laptops than Neil Breen. There I said it.

  • Indiana Jones and the Disbelief, This Joke Is Still Going On

  • Palpatine

    Was your father Fred G. Sanford?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Indiana Jones… I’m tired.

  • I was getting tired of these like… 11 hrs ago. ;P

  • Palpatine

    Indiana Jones and I’m Done With This Joke.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Indiana… is apparently a nice state.

  • Palpatine

    Isn’t that the offical title for Kingdom of the Crystal Skull?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    No that was “Part. Time.”

  • Palpatine

    Why’d you say it so weirdly?

  • tOmy`

    Instant Relief and The Policy of Beating The Dead Horse

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    It was the best take…? Wasn’t it?!

  • Palpatine

    Cut! Let’s try it again!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Instant Relief: Inside a Live Horse.
    https://youtu.be/RdR6MN2jKYs?t=71

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Its true. All of it.

  • Now I Get It

    Really, open-toed sandals? Between that and Taco’s nappy-headed ho’ look, I’m beginning to think that… Mmnope, nothin’. These details are completely unremarkable.

  • Dr. Thompson and the Paycheck by Max Landis

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    YOU SWINE! I’ll set the bats on you!

  • Palpatine

    So speaking of Indiana Jones, remember Cloverfield? Yeah, I wasn’t all that impressed with it.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Like the Blair Witch, once you have seen it there is no reason to ever watch it again.

  • tOmy`

    Blair Witch is fun to rewatch, as you can start pointing out all the hilarious plot holes in it.

    And still get creeped out by the tent scene.

  • I never seen so much snot in a single nose.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    PLOT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHHHAHHAHAHAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

  • Palpatine

    I should say though that I do find the production vaules in Cloverfield really impressive. The fact that they managed to film all this action scenes and create a giant monster in post-production using that footage is impressive in my eyes.

  • tOmy`

    “I am gonna throw the compass and the map into the river, because that’s the way bad boys roll. I will also forget to mention that going by the very stream of that river could lead us out of this godforsaken for- wait a minute, do you see those stones?! RUUUUUUUN”

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Racist!

  • tOmy`

    Yea, it heartens back to the classics like Jurassic World.

    And LEGO: Jurassic World.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Unlike THE BLAIR WITCH, the first time you saw it was pretty fyucking awful.

  • Earth

    Indiana Jones and the Casual Reading of Mein Kampf.

    http://i39.tinypic.com/35a4nyo.jpg

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    you know… other than all the shots that could not be possible…

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Nah. It sucks.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Indiana Jones and This’ll Go On Until Monday Whether You Like It Or Not, You Buncha Pussies

  • tOmy`

    Indiana Jones and The Realization That TFA Do $$$

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Rule 1 of being lost. find running water and follow it down hill.

  • tOmy`

    Rule 2: Don’t be an idiot. Like, honestly, whatever you do, don’t be an idiot. I know the forests are big, but don’t be an idiot. Just… don’t.

  • Palpatine

    Except in those the dinosaurs were real! But don’t tell anyone, the FBI might come after you!

  • tOmy`

    They already are. They have their best forensic experts trying to figure out how can somebody review albums that didn’t come out yet.

    No, wait, that’s NSA. FBI is after me because of those murders. Geee, I always get them mixed up.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I found a Family of Japanese tourists in the Forest one night. they were standing in front of cars waving.
    They went into the forest 2 hours before dark and lost their way, when it got dark they could see the lights of cars so made it to the road. I took them to a police station and explained what happened, the cops got them a taxi back to their car.
    #DONT BE STUPID.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    My new avatar is WWII Plinkett. from the civil war.
    “Take that Abraham Lincoln! YOU COMMIE!”

  • tOmy`

    Indiana Jones or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Hid In The Fridge

  • Captain_Prickhard

    Indiana Jones and The Unsatisfactory New Content

  • tOmy`

    Here is new Pre-Rec. “Ooooooh.”
    Here is new Plinkett teaser. “Wooooo!”
    So, speaking of Max Lands. “Ooooooooh.”

    #TheCycleOfRLM

  • Sully

    200%
    How old is Harrison now?

  • Captain_Prickhard

    The Plinkett teaser is a HOAX!
    Why release a teaser? So we can buy our tickets early?

  • Sully

    Indiana Jones and the Legacy of the Absentee Fathers

  • Indiana Jones: The Whip Awakens? It’s gonna be a soft reboot/soft continuation/soft remake of Raiders/soft kick in the nuts of the fans/soft cash grab in your ass wallett, in short it’s gonna be great.

  • Sully

    Diggin’ the new ‘tar, brah.

  • The legacy of the absinth fathers is a big ole stream of urine. #spoilers

  • Sully

    You can’t say soft that much after the title, “The Whip Awakens.” It’s conflictory.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    The best defence, is a good helmet.

  • Technically even if he had survived that fall, shouldn’t he be locked inside the fridge? Fridges only opened from the outside back then.

  • 50 Shades of Jones: The Story of Marion Cravenwood

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Indiana Jones meets the Grim Reaper!
    Please!

  • Sully

    I think the lock broke on impact. I could be wrong. I could also care, but I don’t. I’ll just say this, the aliens were the least retarded thing about that movie.

  • Your avatar would’ve been complete with an exploding helicopter in the background.

  • Sully

    Can’t we resurrect River Phoenix to play a younger Indy? He’d be how old now? Where’s Wizard when you need him?

  • I think if done right, this all coulda worked.

  • Sully

    I always thought the best defense was to not piss off the locals.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • tOmy`

    And he would be all alone, in the dark. Locked in a fridge. Leaking freon.

    While his skin peels off of his bones. Vomiting and shitting himself. Feverish. Weak.

    Poetic.

  • Captain_Prickhard

    Henry Jones, Jr., Ph.D.
    Chair of Archaeology, Trump University

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    !!!!!you win! best one yet!!!
    i’m sorry.

  • Sully

    I liked the story of The Crystal Skull. I even liked the idea of Indy and Marion having a love child. I liked the idea of the aliens. I liked that it was Cold War Russians instead of standard Nazis.
    What killed it was the shit CG sequences, horrid acting, and the looming sense that no one in that movie, either behind the camera or in front of it, wanted any part of the project. Probably the reason for the horrid acting in the first place.
    The whole thing felt like one big obligation that everyone wanted to be done with as quickly as possible. Except motherfuckin’ George.

  • Indiana Jones and the Inability to Awaken

  • tOmy`

    And now they are back at it, hoping to restore the tarnished legacy.

    Little do they know that it’s like prolonging the inevitable, with a small chance of success. It’s like an autopsy, one might say.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Yes. This!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Trummp Universsiddy
    (It was named by a Post-Graduate Fellow. As students, they aren’t that bright, but they are the classiest.)

  • Get that Kubrick on the phone! We got a movie to make!

  • tOmy`

    I can already see the Viagra commercials tied to this flick.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Which ends with a Forced Awakening, because it rhymes.

  • It’s “Ja. Dies.”, you racist!

  • Captain_Prickhard

    and it looked like everyone was wearing a costume. I’m not exactly sure how to explain what I mean.
    There’s something about the lighting in recent movies, a glow or something, that makes it all look like a polished product.

  • What did you just say… about Indiana Jones?

  • The Hobbit trilogy had the same feeling. Looked like they shot some LARPers in the woods.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    The Fridge is a great way to avoid the Thermal Flash, Alpha and Beta radiation, the blast, and debris.
    It cannot override Inertia or stop the Gamma Burst.
    Buggs Bunny has better Physics.

  • Sully
  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Nine! ist do ist der rastafarian!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Indian Jones.
    *Starring Kevin Costner.

  • Hey, leave Der Füher’s dreadlocks out of this, okay? He’s recently opened up to rastafarian culture, selektah.

  • tOmy`

    No matter what, he would be dead on the freaking spot. Most likely due to his spine having one end stuck in his colon and the other end stuck in his brain.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    It hasn’t stopped him so far…
    Badum Tish.

  • Indiana Jones and the Fate of Max Landis

  • Sully

    Did you mean to write “Indian Jones?”
    Is this a Dances With Wolves tie-in?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I dont need no freaking “Quotes”

  • Sully
  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Thats good… I have missed you foxxy.

  • tOmy`

    Speaking of Dances With Wolves tie-ins, Avatar 2 set photos leaked the other day.

    [insert the link once you feel like you give shit]

    In more delightful news, new album by Moderat Better Call Saul got renewed for 3rd season.

  • Sully

    It’s been a while fo’ sho’.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Shizzel Fox’Nizzel

  • Captain_Prickhard

    [receives latest Max Landis script via subspace]
    [reads from ready room desk monitor]
    “‘It was a dark and stormy night…’ Not a promising beginning.”

  • Sully
  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • tOmy`

    Was this taken at Glastonbury?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Ooh! Sick burn!

  • Sully
  • Sully

    Bullshit! There are no real PhD’s at TU.

  • Sully

    A Casino.

  • Sully

    You’re trying real hard to get Max to make a video about you, aren’t you?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Who was wearing the knit toque?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Dont tell anyone… but I have a Mop and some fluro spray paint… I was going to make a movie about him….

  • Palpatine

    They already did that and it was called Temple of Doom.

  • Sully

    I’ll be sure not to tell anyone. You’ve got my word. Not a soul.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Max Landis Downunder: Mad Hair Max…. coming soon….

  • Sully

    Your mama. She was applying lipstick.

  • I need a movie to shove a kilogram of chicken wings in my face to. Suggestify!

  • Palpatine

    Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Why? Because Indiana Jones.

  • Captain_Prickhard

    There once was a Max from L.A.
    Who wrote scripts but had nothing to say
    His career in a spiral
    He tried going viral
    But failed to impress Mike and Jay

  • Awesome suggestion, but I’ve seen that one too many times. 😉

  • Sully

    Outcast starring Ghost Rider and Anakin Skywalker.
    It’s got a solid 2 stars on Netflix.

    TWO STARS ! ! !

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Birth of a Nation.

  • Angry Rant!
    Just saw a fully animated Microsoft ad in GITH Arise. I thought Windows 10 was intrusive. Get out of my life Microsoft!
    Rant over!

  • bleurgh

    To be fair, they sound pretty interesting.

  • Captain_Prickhard

    Did anyone see The Man From UNCLE movie? Was it entertaining, even a little bit? Should I bother?

  • bleurgh

    Amy Nicholson gave Me Him She a positive review. Talk about the kiss of death.

  • Captain_Prickhard

    I actually had fun watching the last Mission Impossible movie. It had a fun opera house bit with The President of Austria in peril!

  • OH, RIGHT! I still got that on my hard drive….. I’M SURE GLAD I GOT A NETFLIX SUB!

  • True dat, seen that. Was fun. Surprisingly.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s underrated and Guy Ritchie’s best movie since Snatch.

  • Palpatine

    Who?

  • I’m gonna buy my chicken wings soonish and then check that shit out. 😉

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Snake Eyes.

  • A millennial of course. Can’t trust them. Can’t believe them!

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Can’t get rid of ’em either!

  • tOmy`
  • Ogrot

    Florida is winner take all. And its quite clear that traditionally Republican Hispanics in Florida didn’t show up to the polls as they normally do. Likely blowback from the rise in Trumpism is that Hispanics don’t feel like this is their party anymore.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Mike making the point of “This film might just not be for us” is fine by me. Whether or not that’s his affinity for Landis coming through is irrelevant to me.

    Years ago, Pitchfork ripped apart “Bleed American” by Jimmy Eat World because it was an album for teenagers to listen to. A grown up spent 8 paragraphs explaining how an album isn’t for grown ups, and talked down to teenagers that might like it. He all but implied that teenagers should listen to the same crap that a 34-year-old failed lit major listens to.

    When you run every kind of film through the exact same critical machine, it can get to the point where you’re not really doing anyone a service. And you can sound like an idiot, too.

  • Oh my friend. That’s where you are wrong.

    https://youtu.be/XY61XmDJ-1w?t=15s

  • Sully

    Good to hear. I haven’t seen it yet either.

  • I kind of like when Jay and Mike don’t agree. I’ll take a Sandler Rant anyday but to be cynical on every movie can quickly get to this point. Looking at you Nostalgia Critic and YMS. Atleast Mike is transparent with his shills and I like that in a fraud.

  • Tapeworm

    According to my RLM Ring Theory, the overall plot of Half in the Bag makes literally no sense.

  • Palpatine

    Their differing viewpoints with certain movies is always intresting to hear.

  • Ehm. Are we getting a “young Han Solo” movie? I’m afraid to look it up myself. Maybe George should have kept SW.

  • Palpatine

    Mike did seem a little awkward when talking about Me Him Her.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Because he’s aware enough to realize that “Me Him Her” just might not appeal to a middle-aged science fiction fan. And that’s okay.

  • Palpatine
  • Measured with Actual Science (TM)

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and the Horribly Rushed Script

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and The Lust for Revenge-WWWWWHHHHHHOOOOOOOOO?!

  • Sully

    Yes, and it’s set to also feature an origin story for Chewy. If you’ve got a dildo, you can go ahead and start fucking your life.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and The Pointless Prequel

  • Sully

    I think he generally liked the premise of the movie, and maybe even the movie itself, but was reluctant to say “Go see it!” due to the knowledge of RLM’s general demographic. (We are a ravenous bunch).
    It’s a movie aimed at a newer gen, bedazzled in mid-90s flare. Doesn’t sound like it would appeal to me either. That doesn’t make it a bad movie.

  • MATT DAMON!

  • I’m married so this f*cking my life thing it’s………oh god she’s here.

  • Sully

    I’ve just started watching 007 Spectre. I’m about 7mins into the movie, and I’ve already got a question…

    Why didn’t the Day of the Dead parade stop after the massive explosion that nearly leveled a hotel 1 block away? Nobody heard it? Nobody saw it? WT-actual-F?

  • I swiped your wife right on the Grindr.

  • Sully

    Remember to relax the anus. She’ll do all the work.

  • TheManHole

    I mean it is Mexico I’m sure that kind of stuff happens all the time.

  • TheManHole

    We all need to collectively start screwing with Hollywood and only see original IP while ignore anything that’s just another installment of an existing franchise.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Eh. There’s a small problem with your theory. When I was a teenager, I was enjoying movies that had been made for adults already decades before I was born. You might have been, too. Now, that I’m an adult I still enjoy plenty of stuff that is “made for teenagers.”

    The only thing that is always certain, always has been certain, always will be, is that teenagers are idiots.

  • Palpatine
  • Oh.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    lol,well good luck with that.

  • Palpatine

    I was watching 80’s slasher movies when I was 10!

  • Nass is married to the Hypnotoad? That explains a lot.

  • I’m unfamiliar with “swiping right on Grindr”. I’m generation X. So I can fax people and use a dialup modem but nothing more. Oh and Limp Bizkit is the skaduush!

  • Sully

    Pa Kent may say, “Maybe.” But I’m callin’ horseshit!!!

  • Hey! That’s my sister! I’m from the prequels. No humping the sister.

  • TheManHole

    Yeah who am I kidding I already pre-ordered the next 3 transformers movies on Blu-Ray and got my advanced ticket for the midnight showings.

  • TheManHole

    That explains your fall to the dark side.

  • That’s what she said… ow

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Of course. I watched Schindler’s List as a kid. I didn’t understand it at the time, but realized it was probably good for some reason. I also happily enjoy some things I watched as a teen that other teens might enjoy now.

    What I’m more trying to get at is running a movie like “She’s all That” or “10 Things I Hate about You” through a critic that likes “The English Patient” or “The Danish Girl.” And how stupid that is.

    A 6th grader can tell me he’s picked boogers better than “Revolver” and “Abbey Road.” I’m not going to respond to that by saying “YOU AREN’T MATURE ENOUGH TO APPRECIATE ITS STAGGERING GENIUS!”

    There are age gaps at work. I think it helps to sometimes be aware of them when you’re assessing film/music or whatever.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    They’ve all seen superhero movies. They know not to worry about destruction porn.

  • tOmy`

    If that’s what got you concerned, well, buckle up, fox, gonna be one bumpy ride.

  • tOmy`

    Yes. Yes, you should.

  • tOmy`

    This was superhero + F&F movie. Spectre pays homage to both of them.

  • Millenials making fun of Generation X culture. They don’t know what it was like. *sobs*

    I’ll be on the bridge, hanging myself.

  • Your neck is too thick for that. You’ll just catch a cold.

  • *sobs* The rope did not hold Oh gawd…. *whimpers*

  • Captain_Prickhard

    What about the chick he leaves in the hotel room? I know that a PG-13 rating sells more tickets but I’m going to start questioning heroes who jump out windows when a hot lady lies down in bed.

  • TheManHole

    Speaking of movies that contradict themselves why is it Buzz Lightyear thinks he is not a toy yet knows to take the toy position whenever humans are around and how does he explain to himself why Andy always plays with him like a toy?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Um, maybe. If you want to get technical, no work of art can be adjudged on any unassailable standard, since none exists. Every critic is attempting a consistent definition of quality, because that’s really the only way to make sense of it. The idea — foolish as it might actually be — is that there is a Good Art, not a bunch of Good Arts, Including The Art That Is Good When You’re 12, And All Other Good Arts, Etc.

    By the way, your point is the correct one. It’s just counter to the way the critical mind works.

    And, also, doesn’t mean that snobby 34 year-old wasn’t correct about Jimmy Eats World.

  • junkevil

    Hotel Royale was just an alright episode of TNG, but you made good use of a quote.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    It’s got a giant puppet penis in it. Does that make you reconsider your disinterest?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Sully told me you were making a movie about Max Landis. Seems an odd choice, but you’re the filmmaker.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    He wasn’t, but that’s a discussion for another time.

    Yes, I think “objectivity” is a delusion. But every critic attempting consistency is fine by me because it enables an audience to identify what a critic’s tastes might be. You can then choose to take their opinions with a grain of salt or not.

    I just think it is stupid when someone over the age of 30 reviews something that was aimed to appeal to the sensibilities and emotions of a teenager, AND reviews it poorly based on that criterion alone. “It is stupid because it is for young people” is not a quality critique, in my opinion.

    Maybe try to relate, get underneath it. “Did this film/album do a good or worthwhile job conveying its message to teenagers?” might be a better question to ask as opposed to dismissing it because it didn’t cater to the married with forearm tattoos demographic.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    *By the way, I’m part of that demographic, so I’m allowed to insult it.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I’ll make one more point…There was a time when plenty of the stuff made for teenagers was pretty high-brow stuff. The Beatles, The Stones, The Who. Yeah, I know the younglings of today get sick of having that stuff shoved in their faces, but deal with it. “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” and “My Generation” are the kinds of sentiments that taught a certain generation how to deal with themselves and with culture. Pretty adult sentiments.

    Those of us who grew up being spoken to as adults, given the challenge to act as adults, have a hard time putting up with “My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.”

    The point applies to film, as well.

  • Captain_Prickhard
  • Sully

    Maybe . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Maybe.

  • Captain_Prickhard

    “Your basic leisure model. The standard item for military lobbyists in the outer Beltway.”

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I agree, but I would also say that’s cherry picking a tad. There was a lovey dovey Monkees tune for every Stones ripper. Old themes have merely adopted new forms.

  • Sully

    Nooooooooooooo……..
    To be honest I got sidetracked and decided to tear apart my laptop and clean the components. I guess I’ll finish the movie later.

    Pound Sign: TheADHDStruggleIsRealFolks

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Indiana Jones and the Wedding Videographers

    Harrison Ford: “You film weddings?”

    Mike and Jay (in unison): “Part time.”

  • tOmy`

    I had fun watching that movie, but it is dumb as a pumpkin.

  • Sully

    More like, collected enough campaign money to retire on. “Thanks for the support, everyone.”

  • tOmy`

    Wait a minute, they even screen those?!

  • Tapeworm

    God, when are they gonna review a real movie with exploding spaceships?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “insert a cow picture here”

  • Sully
  • Captain_Prickhard

    Have I grown out of my RLM phase or has 2016 truly lacked a little of that magic?

  • Sully
  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Off topic again. I’m in the “rant about music journalists” mood today. Though I guess I’m in that mood every day.

    I’m seeing Megadeth tomorrow. One of my favorite bands ever. Out of curiosity I read the brief Rolling Stone review of their latest album “Dystopia” (which is just excellent, by the way). This is from the first paragraph:

    “Is Dave Mustaine running for president? The Megadeth mastermind and amateur doomsayer has packed the headbangers’ 15th LP with enough fear-mongering to earn him a podium at a GOP debate, as he snarls about conspiracies (“The Threat Is Real”), the decline of Western civilization (“Lying in State”) and a whole slew of hypothetical horrors, calling the world “one spinning disaster” on “Post-American World.” It’s pretty grim.”

    Uhh… are you new here? Are you 19 years old? Are you familiar with Dave Mustaine’s work at all? This is a guy who – 30 years ago – had the charred, burnt, hollowed out remains of the United Nations after nuclear holocaust as an album cover. He’s never exactly been Mr. Positivity when it comes to his politics.

    I mean, his band’s name is Megadeth.

    That’s all. Thanks for putting up with me, fellas.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    magic has been gone a long time ago honestly. skits have been utterly lacking(thanks Space Cop!)and I forgot the last time their review has made points that were genuinely interesting.

  • Sully

    Yeah, I think Space Cop has sapped their energy. They’ve been on cruise control for a while now. Maybe soon they’ll get back into the swing of things.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Don’t get me wrong-I still enjoy watching HiTB but the way things were before I could rewatch HiTB multiple times and memorize both the review and the skits. Now I just forget about it in a week. oh well at least we still have BOTW/WOTW

  • TheManHole

    Quick everyone abandon ship!

  • Sully

    BotW and WotW are my favorites. Maybe it’s the guests they bring on that adds to the dynamic.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    You’re right. Have fun. I’ve got to sell my Puscifer concert tickets for next week, if you’re gonna be in Indianapolis.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Now he can go back to being absent for Senate votes.

  • TheManHole

    BotW and WotW tend to be a lot funnier. We all know the movies are bad so it’s not a review in the sense that you should go see this movie and more of a wow can you believe this is a movie. Oh and they tend to be a lot drunker during the BotW and WotW.

  • Tapeworm

    Timur Bekmambetov’s Ben Hur. Now there’s few completely normal words in an order.

  • TheManHole

    It could be worse in Canada not only do our Senator’s get appointed but most don’t even show up or live in Ottawa.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    On balance, even The Monkees made better pop music than today’s teenagers get.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Make America Grated Cheese

    It means “giant puppet penis” where my people come from.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I am not, but I do have a quick story. The last time I was in Indianapolis I was on tour. My band needed a place to stay. A girl at the bar offered us her place, and said she could make room for us even though she lived with “other girls.”

    We were thinking “Jackpot.”

    The reality is that she lived in a hoarder house. I went upstairs to what would be my room for the night. Covered in ants. My drummer later told me that he was smoking in the garage, and saw “help me” written on the floor. He asked what that was about. She said her husband wrote it there before he left her, and also carved it into his leg.

    10 minutes after I got there I heard a needle drop on a record, and Blondie started playing. I assumed this was her version of Patrick Bateman putting on Huey Lewis & the News, so I gathered the band and we got the f*ck out of there.

    All of that is true.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    I miss that girl. Good times.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I was watching episode 3 of Arrow Season 3 on Netflix and I’m not kidding this popped up https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOVkixm5MZA

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Oh god yes.

  • The trailer looks expectedly generic and the appearance of Morgan Freeman makes this feel like a Robin Hood spin-off.

  • Sully

    That’s pretty fucking cheap. Oh well. Marvel is killing DC in the show department anyway. I can’t even watch Arrow anymore. DareDevil and Jessica Jones have spoiled me.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Flash is still pretty damn good and it’s better than half of Marvel’s shows. But those are on fucking ABC and The Flash has nothing on the Netflix shows.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    The real question is why are you watching Arrow Season 3.

    That season broke the show for me once and for all. Because It’s the season in which Ra’s al Ghul starts referring to Oliver as “Al-Sahim” because the true intent of the show would’ve been too obvious if he started calling him “Detective.”

  • Sully

    The Flash is okay. Season 1 was better, imho. DC just doesn’t hold a candle. They tend to have better villains, but their heroes are just so fucking boring.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m watching it because I love Ra’s al Ghul and so far all I can say is WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIS FACE? Seriously he looks like a normal guy not an immortal sociopath who believes in a morbid twisted view of justice.

  • Sully

    Krypton?

  • Booyakasha Booyakasha II

    Maybe he enjoys pretending to be a toy.

  • Booyakasha Booyakasha II

    Yeah. ‘Cause it’s totally not like George Lucas would ever be so crass as to milk a successful franchise by chronicling the story of young whoever.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    No. The south side.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Again with the blind spot?
    All heroes are fyucking boring.

  • Sully

    Krypton’s on the south side, the southern constellation of Corvus to be exact.

    http://www.space.com/18348-neil-tyson-superman-krypton-planet.html

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Neil DeGrasse Tyson will not stop until he’s made nerds uncool again.

  • Sully

    Says you, honky.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “Fyucking?” Pa Kent Says Maybe?!!?!

  • Tapeworm

    What?? Nah, Shirley not

  • Snake Squeezer

    Plinket: The Movie.

    Watch Harry as he gambles in casinos and kills hookers with raid. He also chases cats for sex and drunkenly stumbles on to tv sets where they are reviewing movies and gives them what for. In the end, he falls in love with a hooker with a heart of gold — his son.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You just spoiled 10 Cloverfield Lane!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Wasn’t this established, like, seven months ago?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Sounds like Disney’s got another franchise on their hands.
    [This video removed due to copyright.]

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    You’ll miss me when I’m gone.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Those kids are always after me lucky charms!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I didn’t know you were him. I thought you died of several heart attacks combined with a cardiac arrest.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and The Poetry That Rhymes

  • *That Damerons

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Inside Henry Jones Jr. It’s about his time as a folk singer.

  • Mangiagli1145

    Indiana Jones and The Osteoporosis Dance

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Percy already made that one.

  • Mangiagli1145

    Damn!

  • Mangiagli1145

    Indiana Jones and The Stupid Cocaine

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and The Rug That Tied The Room Together

  • Indiana Jones and the Bowel’s Movement

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Indiana Jones and The Mailbox Full of AARP Solicitations

  • Mangiagli1145

    Indiana Jones and The Temple Of Nazi Rape Experiments

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You and your damn Arks! I’m sick of it!

  • Indiana Jones and the Opinion, That’s Just Like Yours, Man

  • Noah had a great character ark! *PEW PE WP EPWEPWEPWPEPWEPW* AIRHORN!!! WOOP WOOP

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and The Mystery of The Kurlan Naiskos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOVkixm5MZA

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Indiana Jones and The Hating of the Fucking Eagles, Man

  • Mangiagli1145

    Indiana Jones and The White Russians

  • I’d watch that for 1 gold-pressed latinum.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and The Johnson Cutting Germans.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    You wish.

  • Indiana Jones and the Quest for Guantanamo Bay

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and The Broken Cell Phones and Laptops

  • Mangiagli1145

    Indiana Jones and Me Underwears

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and The Atomic Bomb That’s About to Go Off

  • Snake Squeezer

    Is Lucas gonna be involved in Indiana Jones 5000?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Indiana Jones and The Jesus, Donny

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and Smokey Who Went Over The Line

  • Snake Squeezer

    Does he still own the rights to that? Or was that part of the sale to Disney?

  • Mangiagli1145

    Indiana Jones and 8 Year Olds, Dude

  • I think he sold Lucasfilm as a whole, right? Indy and Star Wars were included.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Indiana Jones and The Low-Pulp Orange Juice

  • Snake Squeezer

    I mean I think so, but you’d think Disney would be doing something with Indy, right? At least a cartoon or something.

  • Mangiagli1145

    Indiana Jones and The Liberry Of Stony Schwastikas

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    They’re kinda busy right now, what with all the counting of the money. They’ll get back to raping childhoods as soon as they can.

  • I guess the Star Wars milking is their #1 priority right now.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and The Disappointing Third Season That’s Just Copying Batman Stories

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Where’s that cow photo when it’s needed?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Indiana Jones and Spider-Man For No Reason

  • Mangiagli1145

    Indiana Jones and The Dawn Of Civil War Justice

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and The Deal With Sony Pictures

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Indiana Jones and The Retribution of The Neighborhood Punks

  • NicCagesHair

    Indiana Jones and the Werewolf Women of the SS.

    Oh sorry were we only listing bad ideas?

  • Indigenous Jones and the Cherokee Casino

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and the Words Help Me Written in Blood

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Invasive Jones and The Mass Genocide.

  • Mangiagli1145

    Indiana Jones and The Cherokee In Jay

  • NicCagesHair

    Andrew Jackson Jones and the quest of the questionable blankets.

    Too soon?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and His Warhammer Figurines.

  • Mangiagli1145

    Indiana Jones and The Slight Return Of Voodoo Child

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and The Death of Green Arrow https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wn5K9S3kNo4

  • Mangiagli1145

    Indiana Jones and The Double Rainbow

  • Mangiagli1145

    Indiana Jones and The Serenity Now

  • TheManHole

    Indiana Jones: I belong in a museum

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and The Overflow of Jokes

  • Mangiagli1145

    Indiana Jones and The Kingdom Of Trailer Reactions

  • That’s a real treat. Rad metal with trix at it’s best. Have fun. XoXo!

    ♫ Brother will kill brother ♫

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9d4ui9q7eDM

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and The Annoyance of Magnus

  • Sully

    I may. . . . . . . . . . n’t.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    I warm up with “Holy Wars” every damn day.

  • frankelee

    I think it’s fine that they make good friends with people who make shitty movies. In fact, that’s what makes the whole relationship charming. His movies are hilariously bad, in the same way that some people’s dancing is hilariously bad, except he does it for a living.

  • Indiana Jones and the Updating of the Flash Player

  • They’re like an axis of garbage.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and The Landis Mencace

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Indiana Jones and the Search for Werther’s Original.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Oh! Sick burn!

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Classic lighting, baby. Classic.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    If they ever release a promo photo like the ending bit of the intro then I might apologize for something.

  • Sully

    Goddamnit! Even the cartoons are overly CG nowadays.

  • TheManHole

    This might be the best thing to come out of the 2016 election…
    http://i.imgur.com/UOOKPKK.jpg

  • Sully

    Ben-Hur (2016) looks like a made for tv movie.

  • Sully

    “This ad paid for by the Make America Grated Cheese Campaign.”

  • Indiana Jones and the Grandchildren that Never Call

  • That’s insulting to TV movies.

  • Sully

    Depends on the tv movie. Most are shit, and stylistically, this movie is all over the toilet.

  • Sully

    Mutt had a kid? Is it’s name “Fido?”

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    That’s because they knew it would be in the RedBox before you could say ‘Bare Dead Hands’…

  • And why is Morgan Freeman wearing an angry mop?

  • Tapeworm

    Indiana Jones and Alzheimer’s: Raiders of the Lost Ark

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Indiana Jones and the Arthritic Walk to the Corner Drugstore

  • Sully

    He stole it from Andrew’s latest movie set.

  • MichaelKz

    Morgan Freeman plays Azeem’s great, great, great, great, great, great, grandpa.

  • Sully

    Indiana Jones and the Inevitable Outcome

    http://i.imgur.com/mRjtyMS.jpg

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Talk about an upper decker.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Red Skeleton

    I was going to make this joke, but someone beat me to it.
    https://i.ytimg.com/vi/TV_4UB-4RzU/maxresdefault.jpg

  • Hank_Henshaw

    As much as I like Justice League (and Unlimited), it had a digital look to it that could never compete to the cel animation look of BTAS and STAS. It’s like the newer digital color Simpsons vs the old cel color Simpsons (that’s without going into the whole scripts-were-better-way-back-when debate).

  • Ben Perkins

    I enjoyed 10 Cloverfield Lane. I could have done without the last five minutes. End it when she says, “Oh come ON!”

    I will say the ARG’s for both of the Cloverfield movies was way more interesting than what they finally put on screen.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Max Landis looks like Kylo Ren if he modeled for Old Navy

  • Sully

    “Old Navy? I wonder if he means O’ N-word Kenobi?”

  • RLMkeepitup

    he does like to climb rocks in odd positions

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    You decide…

    MISS PEREGRINE’S HOME FOR PECULIAR CHILDREN…Tim Burton’s comeback?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tV_IhWE4LP0

  • Palpatine

    Does that mean his cousin’s name is Mary Sue?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I think his comeback was Big Eyes. Not in the sense that it was anything special but it was decent and not another johnny depp cringe fest.

  • “From Visionary Director Tim Burton”
    *closes trailer*

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No.

  • What’s this then? X-Men: Vagina People Edition?

  • Captain_Prickhard

    The cretins working (volunteering!) for that human garbage:
    http://gawker.com/pbs-news-story-on-first-time-trump-voters-prominently-f-1765284316

  • tOmy`

    Speaking of language, you redneck fuck, I am pretty sure you know your French, right? Being from Canada and all?

    God.

  • Captain_Prickhard

    Sometimes I impersonate a man from Yorkshire.

  • Maybe he means Na’avi?

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    “I have the best supporters. The classiest. They’re great. Just great. Really great, by the way. Classy like you wouldn’t believe.”

    Drumpf

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    “The Amazing Spiderman” and “Jack and Jill” reviews are my favorites. Mike bringing in his film school knowledge is always nice and watching them decry Hollywood never gets old.

  • Oh. It’s for kids. And Johnny Depp’s not in it with a silly hat and a dumb mustage.

    I’ll be on the bridge, hanging my self.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    The cow who says, “Boo!” I mean, “Moo!”

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Again? How many times a day do you hang yourself?

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    “Well, they put that kid on the cover that blew up Boston so fuck them I don’t care what they think.”
    -Louis CK on Rolling Stone Magazine

  • 12… it’s a joke! Now raugh! WRAHAHAHAA Haiiiyyaaa! *cuts cat in half with katana*

  • Sully

    That made me legit lol.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Remember:down,not across.

  • WROAHAHAHAA! I’rl be here arr week!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Jack and Jill is like ‘The Godfather’ of HiTB. It’s legendary.

  • Unless you want to commit seppuku.

  • Sully
  • Sully
  • Is this your doing Pa?

  • tOmy`

    Fan trivia: In Czech Republic, cow actually goes “boo”.

  • “Me and Satan are bestest friends”

    -Trump3:1666

  • Sully

    Hey, asshole, he had a vision. Sure it was just the one, but it counts.

    Pound Sign: BeetleJuiceWasTheShit/EverythingElseWasJustShit

  • NicCagesHair

    Thank god March Madness starts tomorrow so we can ignore all of this for at least a month. America will be up to it’s eyeballs in college basketball soon.

  • -Oh. We’re no naziz, we’re white supremesist. Here is our “88” pillows for the entire family. No shwashtikas here.

    #NO #GOAWAY

  • Indiana Jones and the Search for the Lost Prescription.

  • Youuuuu raaannng?

  • tOmy`

    So, since I can now stop feeling the bern, I assume my best wishes go to the Wall Street witch?

    Nah, I am just kidding, she fine, bro, she fine. Four years and some change till Kanye tho.

  • I just wish Maynard got off hia ass and made another Tool album with the guys.

  • RLMkeepitup

    both of those links are ominous, the signs are …everywhere!

  • RLMkeepitup

    they’re ex-women, only slightly more attractive than ax-men

  • I had a vision when I sniffed glue that one summer.

  • Captain_Prickhard

    There’s another Pirates of the Caribbean movie coming out in 2017, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales. Do you realize that the first film, which was a lot of fun, was released in 2003?
    The Star Trek films were released from 1979-1991, “only” twelve years. I guess the Trek cast was older.
    I’m shaking my head because I tried watching a couple of the later Pirates films and they felt like bloated products. Makes you wonder in amazement that the crew of the Enterprise once went back in time to save the whales – that happened! (in the movies). Anyways…

  • Palpatine
  • dollar store cashier wife

    there’s some amount of joy to be had with the other two pirates movies. Now the 4th one is an abortion.

  • tOmy`

    It has been rescheduled 3 times already. I am patiently waiting for the last nail in the coffin of a franchise I kinda enjoy.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I recall the theater audience I was amongst cheering at the end of Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. Cheering.

  • Sully

    It was a dream, dipshit. Elmer’s clue doesn’t get you high.

  • OMNI

    Great, a 20 minute Max Landis apologist video.

  • Star Trek is probably the worst thing that ever happened to sci-fi. It’s a shame modern day audiences can’t appreciate an ambitious adventure film franchise.

  • Bubs

    No? No.

  • Wanna see my balls?

  • I don’t have a pussy, it’s a dick!

  • So?

  • Sully

    Sooo… not an innie, an outie?

  • Sully

    So you’re saying Pirates 5 will be about Jack Sparrow traveling back in time to save Johnny Depp’s career?

  • Bubs

    Propaganda at its finest. Joseph Goebbels would be so proud. People need to learn how to realize when they’re being bamboozled by the “”””””””””””””””news””””””””””””””””.

  • Bubs

    It ain’t easy bein’ sleezy.

  • Peregrine’s School for Gifted Youngsters?

  • Sully

    Not too late for ol’ Bernie. It was June before Hillary dropped out back when she was running against Obama, before he finally put the nail in her coffin.

    Pound Sign: OurVotesAreMeaningless

  • Bubs

    STOP PUTTING HBC* IN THINGS!

    *Editor’s Note: HBC is short for Helena Bonham Carter and is not short for “huge black cock”.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    2 and 3 could’ve worked, but they forgot to hire an editor. Davy Jones still looks great all these years later.

  • Kanye’s first decree is going to change the US national anthem to “Power”.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L53gjP-TtGE

  • Having said that, the movie could use a few huge black cocks.

  • Bubs

    Hey look, here’s one now!
    https://magicscreeches.files.wordpress.com/2015/05/j1dfgpa.jpg

    #ObviousJokes
    #UpvoteWhore

  • You do love it, whore.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Star Trek Wars…

    There. I fixed it for you.

  • Paulus Decimus Meridius

    Mary Sue. Indyanal Jones. Mike Landis. Soup Doritos and the Civil War…what else?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    It was filmed in Australia. We threatened to kill Johnny Depp’s dogs if he made another one.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Four years from now…

    “Remember when Drumpf made a complete mockery of the ‘Merican electoral process? Well, we thought it couldn’t get any worse.”

    “Man, they say America gets the government it deserves, but, really? This asshole’s a bigger asshole than the last asshole.”

    “Yeah. We can’t get a break. Good thing the fix is in for Paul Ryan.”

    END SCENE

  • Palpatine

    I dunno? Ishtar?

  • Sully

    3 2 3 4 4 2 3, and…

  • The difference being?

  • Indiana Jones and the Never Ending Boredom

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    Indiana Jones and the scratching of the lotto tickets

  • Indiana Jones and the Lost Opportunities

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Indiana Jones is Shaft!

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    The cure for boredom is insanity. You always have someone to talk to.

  • Mornin’, Major Hardon, how’s the war comin’ along? *screams into field telephone*

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Its lunch time dude. And the war continues. Drumpf is threatening riots if he doesn’t get elected….
    *Grabs popcorn
    America: The Movie!

  • Dunno, if you’ve heard it, but right wing populism is gaining popularity again, as those AfD fools keep winning election after election in Germany. World War 3 soonish.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Oz is in the future, We have had camps in Cambodia for years, but now we are starting to swing back to the left.

  • Left and right were kinda blending into one another in the last years, since the two largest parties formed a coaliation, which lead to them really kinda losing their identity. The new right wing attracts all those people that have been disappointed with that mashup or just wanna give a middle finger to get current government. Oh, and obviously the refugees are to blame for everything. They took our jobs!

  • Stahp blackwashing Indy, you racist!

  • Like Icare

    Indiana Jones and the Bingo Brotherhood

  • One Night In Diana: Jones gets kinky!

  • Like Icare

    InDYpends of Doom

  • Mangiagli1145

    Indiana Jones and Don’t Call Me Shirley

  • tOmy`

    I think we are being kinda overcreative with these Indy titles. Seeing it is 2016, you can bet your ass they gonna just call it “Indiana Jones” and call it a day before bingo starts.

  • Hey you’ve gone militant auzzie! Who we killing? I’m game.

  • Like Icare

    I paid to watch 1 and 4. Couldn’t ever be bothered to watch through 2 and 3 even when it played on TV.
    With both 1 and 4, it was “Let’s all go to the movies” thing with friends.

    Found the first one to be a childish and soulless moneygrab.
    Wasn’t at all surprised when it grew into a franchise though.
    Cause – a) people have no taste (other than kinda like pork) and will enjoy infantile comedy, and b) some parts felt… inspired.
    Like the whole ghost story thing, which kinda felt more… mature.

    And then I read On Stranger Tides by Tim Powers.
    Oh… OH…

    And then I find out that the fourth one will actually BE On Stranger Tides and something-something Tim Powers story and by golly it actually had the Blackbeard in it and I thought “This one might actually be worth watching. Though they’ve already used up the best parts of the book in the first movie… still, plenty left.”

    And then the movie started and they mention Juan Ponce de Leon and I go “Oh my! This might actually go places!”
    And then Johnny Depp jumps around on a table, and a cake gets stuck on thing up there, and then it falls down on someone and…
    And then there’s a scene IN THREE DEEE… where 3D is made out of a barrel which is in the front…
    And then the rest of the movie makes you want to gouge your eyes out.
    Like when a mermaid spontaneously grows legs. I get the urge to headdesk myself as I think about that…

  • RLMkeepitup

    would you rewind those fukin vhs tapes ! https://youtu.be/7f7KbAd3c9Y?t=2m10s

  • Uh. Like Rocky and Rambo. Genious. Just like the movie……..

  • NicCagesHair

    Or just “Indiana” to keep it sounding edgy in the trailers.

  • Uh. Shiny. *snickers*

  • Indy ®

  • Palpatine

    I honestly love how the first film didn’t have “Indiana Jones” in the title.

  • Indiana Jones and the Faulty Pacemaker

  • To be honest I’m really upset about The “Untitled Blade Runner Project” I don’t want it to be made. I’d wish they’d make something new in the same universe.

  • Palpatine

    I’m sure Jay doesn’t care.

  • sepiajack

    Great episode!!

  • Jay has his precious vlog to work on. He does not care about anything. Half in the bag has taken a quality hit the last 2 years. *sigh*

  • sepiajack

    Does anyone know what that sad tuba music is that they played for the Transformers 3 newscaster fail? it was in the 10 things you never knew about darth vader click bait video too. Is that from something?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I’m Preping for WW3. Choopa Trump is gonna get ya.

  • Palpatine

    It’s from the game show The Price is Right.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Indiana Jones Vs the Minstrel Show.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfKLP1WzMRE

  • sepiajack

    Thanks Palpatine! I knew you were emperor of the universe for some reason!

  • Indiana Jones: Old and bloated

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ytCEuuW2_A

  • Hank_Henshaw

    “The Indiana Jones”

  • Palpatine

    No problem.

  • This fat Gungin is on your side.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ytCEuuW2_A

  • Yes. This.

  • *secretly whispers* Your paycheck’s in the mail.

  • Hey, Goonga, why don’t you stop twisting your nipples of hatred and watch the latest Channel Aweome videos, if you care so much about quality.

  • Palpatine

    That’s what Max Landis said to Mike.

  • Oh. I recant. Nevermind. You are of course right.
    Goonga? Maybe that’s how you say it.

    Anyway, back to 9/11

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ytCEuuW2_A

  • Update. Took a peak at CA. So many viewers. Why?

  • Lowest common denominator..

  • Palpatine

    BECAUSE SCREAMING IS FUNNY!

  • tOmy`

    “I’d wish they’d make something new in the same universe.”

    Like… an Indiana Jones movie?

  • Remember kids. Restrain it. Timing, weight, control. Perfection.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhI0OVs_zj0

  • It’s the bread and butter for 99% of YT’s channels.

  • No. Well. Ehm. Cyberpunk is so broad. Make BR without Deckard. Tell a different story. Easy, right right?

  • Indiana Jones and the Previouly Recorded Twitch Stream

  • Thanks, Captain Frogvious!

  • NicCagesHair

    Indiana Jones and the Ironic Detachment.

  • Indiana Jones and Jack’s inflamed sense of rejection

  • Just remake the Matrix god damn it! This time with an all female cast, even behind the camera!

  • tOmy`

    I feel you.

    I can also see how well received would a “cyberpunk movie” be among the general audience.

    “Cyber who? Like Facebook?”
    “Punks?! Get off my lawn!”
    “Is Cyberpunk DC or Marvel?”

    Yea… that’s not gonna be easy one. I mean hell, even Jay and Mike have no clue what cyberpunk is, and those guys are geniuses.

  • Are you telling me Mike and Jay don’t know everything there is to know? I worship them as gods of omniscience.

  • tOmy`

    Well, it did surprise me. I mean for guys who love sci-fi this much, not knowing possibly the most famous alternative genre of sci-fi is kinda odd.

    And I am using the word “alternative” really loosely here.

  • Rich Evans just said in the same sentence, he loves John Carpenter, but has never seen The Thing, because he doesn’t want a depressing viewing experience.

  • Cyberpunk is all over the place. Dredd, Looper Gits, Her, and more but its a subtle ingredient / genre that most dont recognise.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Hack fraud. The Thing is not depressing, it’s a super fun time with a bleak ending. And actually, the ending is vague enough that you can construct a happy ending in your mind if you want to.

  • tOmy`

    I… actually wouldn’t agree.

    Dredd might be dystopic, but doesn’t feature any key aspect of cyberpunk – technology (specifically A.I., internet and so on). Cyberpunk also features a lot of detective elements, and quite often is very nihilistic.

    Can’t say I would really label those movies as proper cyberpunk.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Indiana Jones and Fuck You, It’s May 2019!

  • Here, grab a pitchfork and let’s go.

  • I really like GitS 1 and Akira, but haven’t found any other worthwile cyberpunk animes. Recommendify!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I got a torch ready.

  • I knew Dredd would come up and bite me in the but. You’re right. But it has the philosifical aspects in there. Loss of morality/humanity. Im 50/50 on Dredd to be honest. But genrewise… dystopic scifi sure. But… i dunno.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Judge Dredd (comic) has all that, and then some. Then again, the Judge Dredd comic can be pretty much anything it wants to be. Comedy, action, sci-fi, farce, poop joke, social commentary, etc.

  • I rallied the villagers. Onwards!

  • I suck at recommends. And this is gonna be crossed with other genres.

    Well check out the series of Gits. Stand alone complex, Arise, Second GIG.

    Animatrix. Neo Tokyo. Metropolis.
    Bubblegum series. Its more a mecha thing. But has elements.

    Patlabor is a favorite of mine. The first movie. Superstructures and detective work. Really fun.

    Ergo Proxy, Psycho-Pass are liked by alot of people. I don’t care so much for them.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    The musical is pretty up-beat, daddy-o:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8faq5amdK30

  • The new Harry Potter trailer looks awesome! https://youtu.be/wWu_iRuBjKs

  • Captain_Prickhard

    Have you ever thought that maybe you could review movies but then thought that maybe you should do some homework first? And I don’t mean doing whatever just went up Zizek’s nose: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=168MsyGJ9yU
    …I mean, you know, watching a film before discussing it?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Sinatra, you fuck!

  • RLMkeepitup

    Indiana Jones on the Foood Network. Whip. stir whip. stir!

  • RLMkeepitup

    hes going to watch the thing and stream the last of us at the same time. 2,000 dolla donation required!

  • Palpatine

    Better than the actual Harry Potter movies.

  • Palpatine

    Speaking of which, Frank Sinatra Jr. died today.

  • RLMkeepitup

    hey now, who’s bloated?

  • frankelee

    Subtitle: More Pushers

  • Yes! This!

  • Thanks, Froggy Style! <3

  • Sure. =) There are more but just search for it online.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    TTTTTEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSUUUOOOOOOOOO

  • KAAAAANEEEEEEEEEDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  • Is AltaVista still a thing?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Spongebob!

  • Send that commie bastard to the camps!

  • Yes? What is it?

  • Indiana Jones: International Man of Archeology

  • Belloq: Indy, what happened to your teeth?
    Jones: Oh behave!

    I’d watch that.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and The Aaron Ramsey Effect

  • Why not make a spin-off about apiculturists?
    “Oh, baby, beehive!”

  • No. It died in the 17th century.

  • Maybe in your frog village, with your green huts, but I still use it, you avantgarde pretentionists

  • So much brainstorming. Spielberg will flip when he finds this place.

  • Indiana Jones and where there’s a whip, there’s a way

  • He’s gonna sue for copyright infringement and hack fraudery.

  • Sortilege

    Has anyone ever mentioned how Indiana Jones is a total Mary Sue?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    But his name isn’t Rey.

  • Indiana Jones: I’ll squash you like a bug

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Indiana Jones: The Christmas Special.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    OH….

  • So… you have gone crazy… 5/5

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    gone?

  • Hmm… right right. You should be in a Kubrick movie.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Indiana Jones and the Icy Sidewalk

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Here’s Andy!

  • Indiana Jones and the Broken Hip.

  • “””””geniuses”””””

  • The only social commentary I found in “Dredd” was – “shoot minorities in the face”. I’m not sure I should follow its advice.

  • Domo

    How your camera has survived all this creative chaos is beyond me.

  • What about his limbs?

  • Romelia Finch

    When I saw the draft of 5439 dollars,,,ad I accept that my friend’s brother was like really generating cash in his free time with his PC. . His aunt’s neighbor has done this for only 10 months and by now repaid the loan on their home and bought a new Car .

    To Know More Click Here
    gb…

  • Domo

    He’s probably a lizard. The exploding varmints can’t put themselves back together, but Andrew sure can.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    what a basic bitch.

  • Like Icare

    You can’t sue for hack fraudery. Both world economy and all the world governments would collapse.
    Plus nearly all lawyers, economists, psychologists, philosophers and sportspeople (among others) would have to be taken behind a shed and shot.
    And that’s a lot of sheds to build with your economy in ruins.

  • Like Icare
  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Truly? The difference between Star Trek and Star Wars? One is an admittedly hokey concept set in space with aliens and stuff that was nonetheless created with a philosophical idea behind it. The other is a kiddie’s wish-fulfillment fantasy set in space with aliens and stuff that is even hokier.
    You know which is which.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Frank Sinatra Jr. was still alive?

  • Like Icare

    None of those are cyberpunk.
    Her gets the closest… but the execution bars it from entry as it is neither gritty nor is there a feel of a world taken over and run by machines to it.

    Dredd is gritty… but lack any focus on technology, it’s again not a world run by machines and there’s a distinct lack of meritocratic freedom to it. Or any freedom at all.
    Same goes for Looper.

    GITS and the Matrix got it though.
    Robocop too… but there it is more subtle as the main machines in that world are corporations still made out of humans.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Indiana Smith and The Desperate Quest for New Relevance

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Indiana Jones and The Inflated Box Office Receipts Or, The IMAX Upcharge

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Indiana Jones and The Four Inches of Ileum

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Jones Rises: The Indiana Retribution

  • I Shot J.R

    Indiana Jones and the Objectivist Movement of the 1950’s and 60’s

  • Earth

    It’s because Jay throws a tantrum every time the words Blade Runner are uttered.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Indiana Jones and Me, We’re Gonna Be Big Stars

  • Bubs

    Nancy Drew and the mystery of the stale joke.

    …I think I did it wrong again.

  • Earth

    Aw that’s cute.

  • tOmy`

    Indiana Jones and Marvel’s Daredevil S1 (Netflix)

    You know, for a comic book superhero show called Daredevil, there is a surprising lack of comic book stuff, superheroes and Daredevil. But there is a lot of TV show in it. But just like in the case with JJ, when the superheroy stuff shows up, the clash between realistic depiction of street level “vigilantes” and more goofy stuff can pull you out of the show. Thankfully, DD’s superheros stuff altogether makes like 2 minutes of the show at most.

    Writers pretty much utilize the same schtick as with JJ – realize who our protagonist is, what does he do, why does he do it, sprinkle it with yet another tie in to post-Avengers NYC and transform the show into crime drama / thriller; DD is, basically, a Jason Bourne TV show with a bigger focus on other characters and this time around rather colorful criminal organization, that is like polished version of any GTA’s syndicate. Healthy dose of newspaper commentary, legal system commentary, religion, law, order, consequences… you know the drill of a good show.

    Strengths: writing is fun, I haven’t seen a single joke that would fall flat, all storylines are pretty interesting, fight sequences are mostly superb (with one pants-shittingly AWESOME), R rating is used appropriately, acting is fine all around and thank fucking god that all the love stories are actually quite unique and don’t make me slit my wrists.
    Weaknesses: Wellp, except that superheroey stuff, the goddamn finale and one episode suffering from too much drama, this is pretty much as competent as it should have been.

    So yea… you know, if you have time, you can watch it. If you want to know more about post-Avengers NYC and how other people feel about it, you can watch it. It’s a blast. 8/10

  • It problably has an Official Kangaroo/Koala® quality seal. Any product that has the Kangaroo/Koala® seal is indestructable.

  • tOmy`

    Indiana Jones and Obamacare

  • tOmy`

    It’s made of 100% pure Australia.

  • Huh?

  • tOmy`

    Huh!

  • Indiana Jones and the Single Malt Scotch

  • Now those Anglo-Saxon pigs will pay for their crimes, eh Fritz?

  • What is a JJ?

  • Sully

    Indiana Jones and the IT’S BEEN TWO OR THREE DAYS, PEOPLE!! KNOCK IT OFF WITH ALL OF THA FUCKIN’ INDIANA TITLES. . . . . . . . . . of Doom

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Indiana Jones and The Unceasing Nah

  • tOmy`

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWHUjuJ8zxE

    I don’t feel like spelling her name every time I mention it. Afterall, she is a woman.

  • Indiana Jones HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    #Sorry #PeerPressure

  • Sully

    Thanks for the review of a show everyone watched a year ago, tOmy’.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    I loved that! America is always a good thing to die for. Thanks buddy…

  • Sully

    *Nag

  • Indiana Jones and the Gay Conversion Therapy

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Huh?

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Had a dream last night that I was walking around Prague… Then I woke up with a boner all by myself…

  • Ooooooooh. Igeddit. But still, she’s not played by Mila Kunis… unsubscribe.

  • tOmy`

    It’s what I do. And I can’t keep up with all this superhero stuff! Some of us have music reviews to do as well!!!!!!!

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    Why do u hurt me, Fox?

  • Like Icare
  • Make America Grated Cheese

    That’ll do it.

  • tOmy hates women.

  • tOmy`

    Passionately, tho. And from what I read on the interwebz, passion is important.

  • Oh music. I’m in a House mood lately. Must be those nightshifts and GitS marathon.

    House tips maybe? Waddaya listeninga 2?

  • Amarzden

    Send help – Max Landis has stolen their Rich Evans & is holding him hostage until they make a positive review of his movie!

  • Yes. This, and buring your “dearest” competitor.

  • tOmy`

    Wellp, the Digitalism album I talked about couple of days back is pretty good. It’s called Mirage.

    And Eric Prydz’s Opus is getting some good reviews, but it’s not exactly my cup of coffee.

  • Make America Grated Cheese

    OK. See yas later, chodes.
    Yas be all you want, but most of all be well.

  • tOmy`

    Good luck, pa!

  • Sully

    Just to see if you bleed. Batman and I have a lot in common.

  • Like Icare

    Zizek is so full of shit.

  • Sully

    Later. . . . creepy ass Reagan puppet.

  • Coffee. Yes. I went to bed 7 AM woke up 11AM to answer the door. Now its 2PM. I need sleep. I got a 10h shift coming up in 6 hours. And in 2 hours my yelling wife is bringing my screaming kids. They are having a pyjama party with her hodlum friends. When I get home to morrow I’m…. oh god. If you gonna marry and have kids be sure you remember to fill in the vacation part correctly on the contract…………………………….

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    I did wake up to a very nice video produced by Andy-Drew though…

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Dont tell anyone but I just threw a shovelful of dirt and put a sound effect on it.
    #movie majik ruined

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I’m made of OzVibranium.TM

  • tOmy`

    Man, I am not sure whether House music will help with this. Sounds more like a case for: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKxDzyHPo0o

  • Bubs

    Wow. No shit? I totally bought it. Now I feel like I’ve been fooled by a magician who “found” a quarter behind my ear.

  • Like Icare
  • tOmy`

    This time around we kinda forgot to stay on topic for at least 5 minutes.

    So… Indiana Jones and Me, Him, Her. Anyone seen it?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    It was fun to make. dont tell Pa Cheese but I might have to make him one too.

  • tOmy`

    Using shovel sounds like a magic to me anyway. It’s like them hammers and screwdrivers.

    The only way I can use those is to get hammered on screwdrivers.

    WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    If only the Michael Bays of the world could learn from me….

  • Like Icare

    That’s hardly a good place to invest.

    No wonder Orson Welles had to sell peas for a living.

  • Earth

    Saw Hail Caesar. Good film, not great though. Seemed unfocussed, like the Coen Bros. wanted to do a lot with it. Understandable with the star-studded cast it had. Needed a more hard hitting element to it, either to it’s plot or comedy.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Hey I have been busy. Max Landis parodies dont write themselves!…. well yeah they do… but thats not the point!

  • Sully

    I had a dream that I murdered someone for no reason. I spent the rest of the dream evading the cops. Surprisingly easy.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    That might have been GTA. Reality blurrs…

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    It was no dream….

  • tOmy`

    I hate when they ask for a reason. You are mid final stab and she is all like:

    “Why are you doing this to me?”

    And you sorta have to pause and come up with some bullshit.

    “Look, it’s… it’s not you, it’s me.”
    “What?”
    “Not good enough? Oh. Well, can I get back to stab-”
    “WHY?!”
    “Look, you gonna bleed out before I even finish yo-”
    “Tell my kids that I lov-”

    Enough is enough, really.

  • tOmy`

    The artwork truly speaks for itself.

  • Sully

    I saw Hail Hitler. Less entertaining, but like Hail Caesar it seemed unfocused… but for different reasons.

    http://i.imgur.com/icgjO6l.png

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I plan to actually avoid seeing it. The trailer made it look like abysmal garbage.

  • Sully

    Wouldn’t be the first eighth time.

  • Really great album. Love it.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Indiana Jones and the Forgotten Topic of the RLM Webzone.

  • tOmy`

    One of the genres I never got into. Not like I really tried, but still. The finesse of these overspeeded, shouty bands is just lost on me.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Indiana Jones, John Landis and Francis Ford Coppla play botchie…

  • WHAT? HUH? HAHAHA SO LOUD!

  • What did you just say… about Mein Drumpf?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • tOmy`

    I take my loud noises as I take my coffee. Mindless self indulgence.

    Uhm… that didn’t make any sense. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ad6Kx6oCnjc

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Hank_Henshaw

    Don’t say that. Be more diplomatic, like some movie critics out there, and say “it’s not meant for me”. No feelings hurt.

  • Like Icare

    Simply just drawing will never get Nancy that recognition as an artist she’s craving for.
    She needs to learn how to express herself through her art. Not just copy what she sees.

  • Sully

    I WAS HERE DURING SS JAR JAR, ANDREW!!! I EVEN CONTRIBUTED!!! GOD!!

  • Sully

    Nothing his mama wouldn’t have said.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    That’s right Hank! I’m sure that an edgy,quirky,weird,awsome,mentally ill young person will find this film to be amazeballs!

    cough was that good enough Max? I’ll take my check now thanks. cough

  • Like Icare

    Speakin of box office…

    So I’m eating spinach medallions (which are either junk food that seems healthy because veggies or healthy food tricking you to think that it’s crunchy junk food) with yakitori sauce when I notice that the bottle says “Ideal pour poisson”.
    Well no wonder it was on sale.

    No reaction yet though. Must be that slow working poisson.
    Unlike, you know… Max Landis.

  • Indiana Jones and the Cheap Instant Coffee

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Sorry. you were gone so long I had to block the memories to survive the pain. Never leave us again!

  • OOOOH! SIK BRN!

  • NO! You’re being processed in camp 4.

  • I had boner when waking up, too, does that mean we were connected via wi-fi?

  • Playing too much GTA?
    #latetotheparty

  • Sully

    Not for a few months. No.

  • Sully

    I’ll do your breasts my best.

  • You know, violence is just another form of creativity… maybe you’re just an amazing artist.

  • Like Icare

    Topical jokes about toppings… They are soy hilarious.

  • Like Icare

    You can do something for the eighth time only once.
    I know! Weird, right?

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Hippy.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Probably…

  • Like Icare

    You laugh now… but we’re on verge of Jar Jar phenomenon becoming first ironically and then actually nostalgic.
    There’s-a gonna be a fans-a.

    That 20-year-clock of incoming nostalgia wave is clocking down its last years.
    Epidose one came out in 1999.

    And we are already witnessing the phenomenons of people enjoying it, Lucas-apologists, “Ring theory”, attempts to redefine Jar Jar as secretly a genius dark overlord of awesome…

  • Like Icare

    It’s the telepathic patriarchy network, doing its thing.
    We can’t just be putting bitches in their place all willy-nilly like. There has to be some coordination and a plan.

    Thus, penis envy.

  • Sully

    Stahp.

  • Sully

    I am. I thought this was common knowledge around here.

  • Sully

    I’m suddenly having horrible flashbacks to my Boy Scout years.

  • tOmy`

    “The Sony Concept N (headphones) is a band that sits around your neck and directs the sound upwards to your ears, creating your own personal bubble of sound around your head without closing out the world around you”

    Sony to revolutionize speakers into a more annoying, subway friendly speakers.
    The white-old-people-on-young-people crime ratio on the rise as Sony misunderstood the concept of headphones, sound and world.
    Dr. Dre regrets about losing his #1 spot in The Duke of Douche in the headphones hardware.
    Apple to announce new iPhone featuring a plug for the Sony Concept N to further deepen the hate for iTunes.
    Dubstep now officially labeled a weapon of mass destruction.

  • Oh, no, I think I just spilled my wi-fi password all over the floor out of joy. How silly.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Indiana Jones Vs Kanye

  • Stealing chicken from local famers is no art, fox.

  • Like Icare

    I own prior art to this, Sony you fucks!
    It’s the exact same thing as when I play music on my mobile phone while keeping it in my breast pocket – and having it play the music THROUGH ITS SPEAKER instead of through my earphones.

    Additional bonuses include people informing you that your phone is ringing (apparently assuming you are deaf to all but their voice), walking around with a personal soundtrack announcing your presence and from time to time achieving unprecedented levels of awesome.
    Like walking into a supermarket just as the theme from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly starts playing.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1PfrmCGFnk
    Wow… that video is fascinatingly badly editted.

  • tOmy`

    It’s also controlled by voice commands.

    Sony are fascists.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    I’m using a 3 year old Experia to make all my stupid movies and as a modem… but yeah the Walkman.TM sux.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    Oh the fun of sony bluetooth speech recognition…
    Phone: “Please say a command.”
    Me: “Cancel.”
    Phone: “Would you like cancer?”

  • Mangiagli1145

    Indiana Jones and I Had To Find Enough Brown M&M’s To Fit A Brandy Glass Or Ozzy Wouldn’t Go On Stage That Night

  • tOmy`

    I assume the language localization will be a thing of a beauty.

    “Play Indy & Wich – Z Tvojí Čtvrti”
    “Now playing Coldplay – Paradise”

  • Like Icare

    Well… you know how they say…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsQyru5ACmA

    Also, nearly everything cures or prevents cancer as well.
    http://kill-or-cure.herokuapp.com/

  • Sully

    Says you.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    *Injecting you with AIDSbola.

  • Like Icare

    Well, at least it’ll always get that “Play that Na-nana-na-nana-na-nana-na-na song” for you.

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.
  • Indiana Jones and the Lack of a Good Reason to Post

  • Michael Collins

    Indiana Jones and the Sony Concept N

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    The next Indiana Jones joke is going to get a Crystal Skull right up their Temple of Doom.

  • Indiana Jones and the Samsung Galaxy S4 mini, white

  • tOmy`

    Could work, as long as it doesn’t need the whole title:

    My Chemical Romance – Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys – Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)

    It’s kind of a mouthful, if you ask me.

  • Palpatine

    Indinana Jones and the

  • tOmy`

    This Saturday, only at TheManhole: Let’s Have A KIKI Vol.13: MuchFeels. SoVisual.

    20:00 CET: Hair (1979 musical war comedy-drama and film adaptation of the 1968 Broadway musical; direction Miloš Forman)
    22:00 CET: Archive – Axiom (dystopian 40 minutes long music film by the Archive ensemble)
    23:00 CET: Placebo – Soulmates Never Die (Placebo 2003 live in Paris; due to heavily effected footage in post-production, quick cuts and one frame long pictures of naked ladies, this is both NSFW and not-recommended for epileptics)

    Sampler:
    Hair: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1LRD3DtFAo
    Axiom trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFAXCJs6UOw
    Axiom chapter 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwhFxZNtRPY
    Placebo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Zael5yNLe0

  • Palpatine

    “not recommended for epileptics.”

    Damn it!

  • tOmy`

    You can come for the movies, you musical barbarian.

  • Palpatine

    Yeah, I could do that. I’m not epileptic, by the way, is just that bright flashing lights give me headaches.

  • George Superman

    Yeah. You say that now. In a few years youll end up writing up jar jar stepping in poop. And than try to diminish his effect (even though he was stylized that way).

  • tOmy`

    Give it a go. I can’t vouch for you liking Axiom, but Hair is a must-watch, if you haven’t seen it already.

  • George Superman

    If its like co!$!$k rings well never get a happy ending …..

  • George Superman

    I wonder why people use the word ‘phantom’ whenever they think of needlessly convoluded plot for something that was hard to believe in from the beggining.

  • tOmy`

    Indiana Jones and the new X-MEN: Apoorelapse trailer:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfBVIHgQbYk

    Subscribe to Coldplay. #PrayForBridges

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Even though I loved Days of Future Past for some reason I can’t get too excited to see this one

  • Sully

    70% of it looks like animated concept art. Stylistically, and I know I’ve been talking about this a lot lately, it doesn’t seem to fit with the rest of the films.

    http://45.media.tumblr.com/d63021ce827881b7c71b86d71aa8d8a6/tumblr_nz778pNSRw1uy77ajo1_500.gif

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Also isn’t Jennifer No Clothes dating the Coldplay guy? I smell a conspiracy

  • Sully

    Do conspiracies always smell like latex and seafood?

  • tOmy`

    Not sure. I know he divorced Gwyneth and for some reason had an urge to compile a whole album about it.

    And then invited her for guest vocals. Geeee, and people wonder why the band broke up.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well we can’t undo that but we can diminish the effects of it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes

  • Sully

    *consciously uncoupled with Gwyneth…

  • Sully

    By not seeing it?

  • OMNI

    Fuck the pain away…

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Same. I really couldn’t give a crap. And even though I mostly liked Days of Future Past, I was basically dragged to the theater.

    But this is coming from a guy who never got heavily into X-Men.

  • Oh sorry. I was posting in my sleep.

  • NicCagesHair

    And it’s sequel: Indiana Jones and the Glass of Alcohol in a Strict Arabic Country.

  • kapsi

    What happened to the beers?

  • Palpatine

    Mike and Jay are AA members now.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Indiana Jones and the Search for George Lucas’ Integrity

  • NicCagesHair

    Now when they see beers, they have a similar reaction as me to bees.

  • Snake Squeezer

    LIES!!!

  • Snake Squeezer

    The beer is sad and lonely now, Leo won’t return her calls now that he’s oscar famous.

  • tOmy`

    To recline?

  • Sully

    To grab a shot?

    Pound Sign: BoilermakerJokeOnSaintPatty’sDay

  • Snake Squeezer

    Saw it where, how? Is it still in theaters where you are?

  • Like Icare

    I’m not saying it was aliens…
    But they did send them back in time to alter the reality, so…

  • Like Icare

    You’re right. I don’t understand how this makes any sense in the context of the movie. Or the series.
    http://img11.hostingpics.net/pics/112049giphy2.gif

  • tOmy`

    Indiana Jones and The Realization That Knowledge Doesn’t Pay Bills

  • NicCagesHair

    Written by Kanye West?

  • Like Icare

    …Broken Tags of HTML?

  • Like Icare

    Cause it sounds better than “I don’t know”?

    Phantom of the Opera vs. some guy of the opera.
    Phantom Menace vs. Unknown Menace.
    The Phantom vs. The guy nobody knows (except everyone).

  • Sully
  • Like Icare

    Press [X] to make a faaaaaaaar inferior remake of a classic which looks like it was filmed on a Dr. Who episode budget – just so you could sell it to suckers through your church networks.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BmeR9GYdDU

  • dollar store cashier wife

    From the director of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Think we can expect a HiTB review?

  • Palpatine

    I hope so.

  • Like Icare

    All that comes to my mind is protein.

    http://i.imgur.com/OJkfO8L.gif

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    Nothing is sacred.

    I was annoyed the second I heard the word “No.”

  • Cream-A-Thon

    The fact that the trailer uses the “Bwaaaaah” sound between scenes tells me all I need to know about the movie.

  • Indiana Jones and Andrew’s Revenge

  • BAM! IF HE SHOT HIS HEAD.

  • Like Icare

    Well… to be fair, this one uses the dying elephant scream from Prometheus… and still it looks like it’s gonna be a fun movie.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLmKio67pVQ

  • Aka Australium™.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Indiana Jones and Let Me Get Revenge On You in Xcom.

  • Like Icare

    Morgan Freeman looks like he’s doing it for free… man.

    Or by a court order. Perhaps he has accumulated a lot of unpaid parking tickets.

  • Sully

    That’s all that comes to my mind cums on her as well.

  • Earth

    In Britain we don’t have “FUCK YOU IT’S JANUARY!” We have “FUCK YOU IT’S FEBRUARY!”

  • Like Icare

    You know… All that “I blame Andrew…” thing is quite literally misandry.

  • Earth

    I love X Men (one of the few superhero series I’ve liked). But fuck this new movie. I always liked how X Men always had more character driven stories behind the action. This is just “we want to be like The Avengers” schlock.

  • Imesseduptheemail

    The later half of this was just awkward and painful with how afraid you were of stepping on toes. Especially you Mike. Guys, just don’t even bother reviewing movies by your friends in the future.

  • Indiana Jones and the Rich Pics

  • Earth

    Nobody cares about Me Him Her. Max is lucky they even reviewed it.

  • Imesseduptheemail

    You call that blowjob a review?

  • Palpatine

    I think they just didn’t feel like dealing with Max being mad at them.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I got that feeling too. The RLM guys do not seem to mind stepping on Len K’s toes – and he’s an actual kill-you-in-your-sleep-ninja!

  • Earth

    Whatever. It’s a student movie that a rich kid made. Mike was being nice and Jay didn’t give a shit and clearly didn’t like it.

  • Palpatine

    That’s because Len’s cool.

  • tOmy`

    I don’t even…

    Just LOL. Really, just LOL.

  • Earth
  • Imesseduptheemail

    That’s exactly the problem though, Mike is scared of being critical. They clearly shouldn’t be reviewing a friend’s movie if they can’t be honest. Jay probably pulled punches but he at least said how he felt, so it’s mostly on Mike this time.

  • NicCagesHair

    Growled lines mixed in between inspirational quotes, THE MOVIE!!!!!!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I would have gone the “bad” route with a Bad Tarzan type comedy as a rebuttal to these ‘epic’ re-tellings.

  • tOmy`

    Indiana Jones and The Civil War Post Credit Scenes:

    “We can’t say who is going to be in it but we can say that there certainly could be one, or two, maybe three. We can confirm that you should stay sat in your seats when the movie is done.”

    FINGERS CROSSED FOR SQUIRREL GIRL!

  • NicCagesHair

    “Did we put more thought into the post credits scene than the actual movie? It’s hard to say, but yes!”

  • tOmy`

    “Did we put more black characters in the post credits scene than the actual movie? Well, funny you should ask, it is hard to say, but let me quickly get our lawyers on the phone and for now, just write down ‘no comment’.”

  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWRJ1wVGuzc

    Sorry, I have to read a text about the decline of European culture and society… from the beginning of the last century.

  • George Superman

    Well the thesaurus shows that similar to ‘pointless’ is ‘impotent’.
    Doesnt that sound much better?
    The Impotent of the Opera
    The Impotent Menance
    The Impotent
    shows how much the story and the idea are worth, no ?

  • Indiana’s Johnson and Jay’s Banhammer

  • tOmy`

    Well, that’s only the good bits.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Well doesn’t that sound fun!

  • tOmy`

    To be absolutely honest, Mike is giving a lot of slack to movies lately. I guess he saw Space Cop.

    I didn’t feel like they made any case for Him Her Me She It Transgender Who, but the backpaddling about AU was kinda strange. Although I don’t remember if they totally panned Max’s script for AU in the original review, or just the direction and the final product.

  • tOmy`

    Especially since he is living it.

  • Neither does losing. #sickburnbrah

  • George Superman

    The one was a Max from L.A.
    who was horrible at forplay
    so one day
    he decided to go all the way
    and write a screenplay

    the plot was convoluted,
    and so he was booted
    (nevermind the point of the story was diluted)
    and on Half in the Bag he was perecuted

    Max was so very sad
    he beat up his comedy-loving deadbeat dad:
    while looking up rhymes for ‘capital of chad’
    his no-escape holywood contract being ironclad
    he decided to just wait for it to go bad

    and so he surrendered
    life not going as he inteded
    he got his career suspended
    while getteng all possible gay communities offended

  • Doctor Andre Son of Thomas.

    NO! I”M SPARTACUS!

  • George Superman

    coming to You from the director of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDFlRsDIAd4 😀

  • Palpatine

    It’s so weird that Mike used to be the cynical one and Jay used to give movies slack, but now it’s the opposite.

  • Like Icare

    The Impotent Menace WOULD explain a lot.

  • Percy Gryce

    Another take on Indy 5 and another Plinkett reference:

    http://ace.mu.nu/archives/362205.php

    This guy is as gay for Harry S. as I am.

    What? Who said that?

  • Percy Gryce

    It was less a review and more a goof.

  • They said the Max Landis film had an all-pronoun title originally.
    I, HeShe

  • tOmy`

    I think we were more used to the hyperboles. Hence the “this movie was terrible” joke. I guess Mike is trying to find some middleground lately.

  • Indiana Jones and the Holy Grail

  • OMG, I’m totally bouncing on my boy’s dick to this comment.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Sheriff Mitchell

    It’s going to be Hit-Monkey.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    You mean this isn’t the sequel to “Her?”

  • Like Icare

    Well… to be fair (again), Tarzan was written to be epic.
    It IS after all by the guy who basically invented a Superman and a Conan and a couple a more archetypical ubermensch characters before they were actually invented.

    I mean… Tarzan teaches himself to read English from looking at pictures in children’s books – before he learned to speak English.
    Or human.

    Then he picks up French after he meets a Frenchman, then continues picking up languages, human and animal, and defeating practically every large animal in Africa in hand to paw combat.
    Then he goes inside the Hollow Earth and wrestles dinosaurs.

  • tOmy`

    “I know one thing: You’re definitely not going to see Indiana Jones go to Palmyra, Syria, to save a cultural artifact from dynamite-demolition by ISIS fighters.

    Which is something we actually need a real Indiana Jones to do.”

    Uhm… what?

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    “Me Him Ben-Hur,” coming to a Colosseum near you.

  • NicCagesHair

    “Did you put in any black characters other than Samuel L Jackson”

    “Ummmm well no, but we are making Ben-Hur with a black guy”

    “It is someone other than Morgan Freeman?”

    “Shit”

  • NicCagesHair

    Oh god here come the Ben-Hur/Been Her puns, EVERYBODY PUN FOR YOUR LIVES.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Harry S. Plinkett fan fiction territory…

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Oh please. It’s obvious it sucked, they gleaned that much. They already ripped him a new one.

  • Earth

    I just don’t see what the issue is when nobody cares about this movie. When Landis pens something worthy of discussion and Mike holds back, then I’ll take issue.

  • Tapeworm

    Not to be the guy, but he has a very valid point – if Max did not pen anything worthy of a discussion, Mike and Jay discussing it makes even less sense.

  • Tapeworm

    “Fundamentalist Sunni Wahhabists, I hate those guys”

  • RLMkeepitup

    they seem to be lightly promoting it, even if indirectly by not destroying it. maybe max is helping bring in views, i can’t think of why else cause his attitude isn’t really rlm style. but mikes been on a soft review trend even before space cop was done.

  • Tapeworm

    Well, one does get tired of being always angry at stuff and also the exposure they get opens them to more internet opinion abuse as well as closing lotsa doors for the big budget Space Cop reboot.

  • Earth

    Good point. I just don’t care for people who lecture.

  • Sully

    Tell us more about your disdain for lecturing.

  • Don’t forget the sequel called Has-Ben coming next year!

  • And I am he as you… unless you’re him is the spin off to the prequel of the reboot.

  • tOmy`

    Indiana Jones and Me and Him and Her: Retribution

  • tOmy`

    “We gonna have to cancel our subscription to Ebony magazine, don’t we?”

  • The Incredibles is more Nietzschean than you think. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=366wq306duA

  • The Policy of No Refunds is in Full Effect!

  • tOmy`

    It’s gonna be in 5D. The fifth D being the palpable taste of regret.

    Just like in a gangbang.

    BOOOOM.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Sully

    Max was on the show recently. His movie came out.
    The review is relevant.

  • Tapeworm

    Oh sure. Also, where the hell is the Mr. Right review?!

  • Sully

    Cameron and Nolan. Spielberg and Abrams. Which ever side Hulk lands on is winning this.

    http://i.imgur.com/6zbXri2.jpg

  • RLMkeepitup

    never oppose technology (cheaper 60″ tvs) and the free market (theater cost) Mr. Cameron

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Cameron is a forward thinking guy, if he’s against it then he’s kinda right.

  • This is another symptom of the progressing individualisation – watching movies in the cinema is a social experience that cannot exactly be replicated at home – this seems like another way of further atomizing people.

    I think I’m taking Nolan’s side on this.

    On the economic side of things it seems that the producers want to cut out the middle-men, i.e. the cinemas/theatres and cut down on distribution costs as it’s way cheaper to put the shit on a server and be done with the hassle. Plus, it really will cheapen the experience. I don’t go to cinemas often but even a 30+ inch screen and 7.1 surround can’t replicate a true cinema experience. But then again I mean a real cinema, not some shitty multiplex. http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2a433feXzFo/T-B3GLnMe2I/AAAAAAAAI1M/Ni4bruDYqw4/s1600/IMG_7225.jpg

  • RLMkeepitup

    i respect his work in making 3d less of a gimmick and more a tool. im sure he has a lot invested in it for the next avatars alone

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Screening Room: Civil War: Dawn of the End of Multiplex Theaters.

  • Did I say that?
    Did they hear me?

  • Sully

    Some between the Star Wars toys in Plinkett’s basement and the dirt also in Plinkett’s basement.

  • Earth

    It’s a bit late in the Indy timeline isn’t it?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m #TeamCameron. I’m not sure if that’s similar to Batman’s, Iron Man’s, Superman’s, or Captain America’s team.

  • Sully

    Both.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s pretty obvious that a guy who keeps pushing IMAX for like 3rd film in a row would not approve of this service.

  • tOmy`

    Well, the zombie well never runs dry, so…

  • Sully

    Coming 2018, from the writer, director, and pusher of Avatar… no not that one, the one with the hot blue chick, “The Home IMAX 4D Theater Experience

  • I came to a weird realization that Shia Labeouf looks really similar to Harrison Ford in Indiana Jones 4. Maybe he should play Han in the Star Wars and the Adventures of the Young Han Solo movie? It would #rhyme.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    How about noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Good point. I lost my perspective on this one or just was too traumatized as a child from Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan Lord of the Apes.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I want Shia to “act” in a snuff film. The last role of the performance art that is his lyfe.

  • Indiana Jones: The Post-Mortem Years

  • Wizard Phoenix

    His life is a snuff film

  • Sully
  • Indiana Jones: Saving Hitler

  • Palpatine
  • Poor drug adict gone crazy person.

    #WorseThanSheen

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Lobo is being made into a movie written by a guy named Fuchs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lSwwqDpoVc

  • Sully

    If you kinda squint your eyes, and put a pillow case over your head.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Indiana Jones and Freddy Got Fingered

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and The Painful Comedy

  • I don’t know, it seems like not having Tiger Blood improves your chances of living.

  • Sully
  • Sully

    This title needs some punctuation… or an NC-17 rating.

  • Palpatine

    Indiana Jones vs. Freddy Krueger.

    Indy: “I look cooler in a fedora!”
    Freddy: “No, I look cooler in a fedora; bitch!”

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Indiana Jones and The Adventures Of Sharkboy And Lavagirl

  • http://i.imgur.com/XS5LK.gif

    Oh wait… LoBo is DC. Also, Mike called it. But that wasn’t hard to guess.

  • Yeah. Shia can’t get AIDS! The thing is these a**holes wreck lives and get away with it. The commisaars should have them shot like in the olden days. Like Amy Winehouse.

  • Indiana Jones and the Amazing Velociraptor Circus!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Indiana Jones and The Greenscreen of Shit

  • Palpatine

    Yeah, just keep your claws off of him! He’s mine!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Indiana Jones and the Rise of the Centrum Silver Surfer

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Indian Jones and The Men Who Stare At Goats