George Clooney Batman vs. Tom Hardy Bane

August 18, 20152,067 Comments

As mentioned on the Batman and Robin commentary track, here’s Mike’s attempt to mash up Schumacher and Nolan.


Filed in: General UpdatesHalf in the Bag

  • Welcome Back Otter

    It’s just occurred to me that Hardy could have played the hero AND the villain in Fury Road if he hung on to that Bane get-up.

  • Mark Bisone

    Hah! Nice turnaround on that one, Stoklasa.

    You, know, I’ve been thinking about the nipple-suit a little bit. The boys are mostly right to dismiss it – it is far from the worst thing in that non-stop catastrophe of a film, and barely worth mentioning by itself. But I also think it’s one of those details that becomes emblematic of the whole ridiculous shebang. It’s like a critical shortcut; instead of expounding upon the movie’s many, many flaws in exhaustive, Plinkett-esque detail, one can merely say the word “nipples” and be done with it.

    There are other bad films with shortcuts like that. The little, framed pictures of spoons in “The Room” springs to mind.

  • Sully

    You think schlock is you ally. But you merely adopted the schlock. I was born in it, molded by it. Oh, who am I kidding?

  • Percy Gryce

    Jar Jar Binks stepping in the poopie?

  • I thought Mike edited the footage? Looked the same to me.

  • Bhazor

    Still think the best hybrid is Adam West in Christopher Nolan’s version. “Lets go Robin, we’ve got to stop this nefarious ne’er-do-well the Joker from his latest scheme.” Smash cut to them getting beaten with lead pipes with the body of Eartha Kitt hanging from a lamp post in the background.

  • Mark Bisone

    The CGI prairie dog in Kingdom of the Terrible-Looking Prop?

  • Red Skeleton
  • Palpatine

    *Insert generic comment about how the Dark Knight Trilogy sucks here*.

  • Trask

    Generic retributal about how you must be a Marvel fan boy.

  • Sully

    After Episode VII is released… after the Stream-a-thon… on a Tuesday…

  • Rick Sanchez

    Stoklasa is the fucking batman!

  • Punch him in the tubes, Clooney!

    It works for all Banes.

  • Palpatine

    Generic comment about how the MCU is tha gratest thing eva.

  • instant relief

    Stop linking to that crap!

  • Trask

    Generic incoherent angry rant about how Marvel is worse than the holocaust.

  • Percy Gryce

    Or maybe “nuked the fridge”? I know there was a movement to have that phrase replace “jumped the sharknado.”

  • Wait Fury Road had a Bane mask in it, why does Bane also have a Bane mask on him? This thing is giving me a fork in the Bane.

  • Bane Kenobi should be in ep.VII. HOLLYWOOD NEEDS MORE BANE MASKS!

  • Jack and the Giant Bane Killer Man!

    #reboot

  • The old Bane factory boom of…

  • Palpatine

    Have you been drinking again?

  • Like Icare

    Generic digression about how at least they are not Sony. Mention of Fantastic 4 and a generic suggestion how it should have been done.

  • Like Icare

    Nah… Prairie dog is not that movie’s nipples.
    It’s the fridge. Fridge is that movie’s nipples.

  • tippoo1782

    Great work, Mike! As soon as you mentioned the idea in the ‘Batman & Robin’ commentary, I knew that I had to see it. But now, of course, we need to see the inverse: Christian Bale Batman vs. [whoever the fuck played him in the Schumacher film] Bane.

  • How else can you watch Batman and Robin?

    #worstthantheholocaust

  • Red Skeleton

    As opposed to this site’s crap?

  • Brack to the Future

    Tom Hardy vs George Clooney? What is this, the deciding which gang backs Tammany Hall?

  • Crixxxx

    That guy died two months after B&R was released. Probably out of shame.

  • Brack to the Future

    I think the nipples are a final assent to Bruce Wayne’s stature as a soft-shell crab out of water. A way of saying “okay he’s a pooter but he’s got dough for armour.”

    Recall the anger around Keaton’s ridiculous immobile cowl and “beefy” suit? Ha! Take that, @LethalWeapon2!

  • Like Icare

    This site’s crap is entertaining and insightful. Also often self-deprecating and grounded.

    That site has ran out of steam long ago, and while it always lacked insight and mostly just made fun of things instead of analyzing them, now it feels forced and heavy on pandering.

    So it’s kinda boring, kinda annoying and kinda depressing.

  • Bubs

    This was probably the best that a person could do this. But it didn’t really work for me. I couldn’t separate the two movies in my head. Still, good work… for a fraud.

  • Bubs

    Generic insertion of my own opinion about how Adam West Batman was better for reasons, even though no one asked my opinion.

  • Brack to the Future

    I think the objection is if you’re going to place link-bait, please describe it or screw off. It doesn’t add to the convo because I and 100% of my compatriots will never click. So less link, more talk, please.

  • Bubs

    That is just the worst… fucking… voice… since Tank Girl.

  • Brack to the Future

    Generic drugs rule the world.

  • Brack to the Future

    Blu-Ray only: You can fast-forward to the two scenes of Silverstone upskirts, PIP, take a pause then advance to the credits. And that’s a wrap.

  • instant relief

    RLM at least knows how to polish their turds.

  • instant relief

    As opposed to the virgin batman?

  • Uncle Sporkums

    Great job, Mike, you fraud!

  • Brack to the Future

    The Bane in the first
    videogame
    with bruce
    wAYNE
    was insane
    in the membrane
    He was HUGE like a freight train

    …and now he’s human sized and wears a mask to hide his luscious unvillainous lips! I don’t know, man, Media’s fucked.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Ironically, the Bane mask Hardy had in the beginning of Fury Road was made out of a pitch fork.

  • Sully

    Probably McGregor’s Syndrome.

  • Brack to the Future

    It’s often confused for simple alcoholism. Does the patient lack in moral fiber? Is he a fucking vicious shot?

  • Palpatine

    He ate too many pizzas and farted to death.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I’m actually ok with the fridge.

    It’s more like http://recaption.com/uploads/284374f558f572ff33.jpg

  • Mark Bisone

    They should have fed him two vials of radioactive alien sperm. I always keep a couple of those up my sleeve.

  • tOmy`

    What in the name of a fuckfraud is up with this much content? How are we supposed to hit thousands of comments per video? Please, post a comment on this webzone to tell me how to reach thousands of comments on this webzone.

    Or better yet: Post a thousand of comments on this webzone to tell me how t-

  • Palpatine

    I think they’re trying to prevent another comment war.

  • tOmy`

    What is it with you and comment wars recently?

  • Palpatine

    I really don’t know. I never seem to get involved in them, do I?

  • tOmy`

    Generic picture of genitals furthermore proving my superiority when it comes to DC Nerds and Marvel Zombies with a hashtag: Got stank yesterday, yolo, what you gonna do about it, read a comic book? LOLOL

  • Red Skeleton

    Well i would have posted the animated gif BUUUUT……

  • tOmy`

    We are just dumb senate, we never realized you were in fact behind them all.

  • Red Skeleton

    Hey i’m not in love with the guy either but anyone who correctly calls out filler is ok in my book.

  • Palpatine

    Aren’t I always? But all joking aside, the worst one was probably the Gif War.

  • tOmy`

    Oh, the sweet memories of me sweeping through those comments for 3 minutes, sighing and then calling you retards.

    Good times.

    I am glad I never became part of th-

    Oh, fuck, ABORT ABORT!

  • Palpatine

    I loved how Jay had to get involved a in the end.

  • Red Skeleton

    Srry but this doesn’t count as content. See my below post about filler.

  • Palpatine

    And it’s nowhere near as good as the kind they put in Twinkies.

  • tOmy`

    Speaking of filler: I talked about him two days ago, so:

    “I feel it’s important to teach children that not so long ago, musicians were almost universally respected and admired for their craft” – DJ Shadow (latest FB post).
    As I said, it is fucking hard to hate this guy.

  • tOmy`
  • its called bleach

    Addendum: generic complaint that the MCU is literally going to force me into theatres and rape my brain for the next 30 years

  • Palpatine

    Who?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I remember!

  • tOmy`

    One of the divinities of DJing.

  • My ex wife

    Relax, grin.

  • Domo

    I know you promised to make a Bane/Batman team-up, and it looks great, but since George Lucas just decided to state that Jar Jar was inspired by Goofy, can you make a Goofy vs. Jar Jar mash-up? You’ll kill half the Internet in the process.

    It’ll be great!

    http://spinoff.comicbookresources.com/2015/08/18/george-lucas-is-determined-to-make-you-like-jar-jar-binks/

  • jnorris441

    Can we get one of Bane at the football stadium just yelling “BAAAAAAANNNNE!!!!” over and over

  • Red Skeleton

    Well, let’s say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of bs filler posted on Red Letter Media this year. Based on this morning’s submission, it would be a Twinkie… thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.

  • instant relief

    Boy, oh, boy. Goofy must be rotating in his grave below Disneyland.

  • Domo

    There’s going to be a statue of Goofy and Jar-Jar together at the entrance of the new Disney Star Wars theme park.

    George Lucas insisted it be in the contract, because he loves his fans so much!

  • instant relief

    Apparently they already made a mashup toy of sorts:

    http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120729153615/disney/images/d/d5/Goofy_as_Jar_Jar_Binks.jpg

    This is so scary.

  • instant relief

    Every time you post a kitten pic on a webzone, God masturbates frantically.

  • Palpatine

    Goofy v. Jar Jar: Dawn of the Cartoon Retards. Oh wait, am I allowed to say “retard”?

  • Just some white guy…

    #Straightoutof

  • Domo

    They’re exceptional individuals in the worst way possible.

    But the answer is yes.

  • instant relief

    You can always just masturbate to your regular porn collection.

  • Domo

    Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez in a movie together?

  • Joe Syxpac

    That’s a big Twinkie.

  • Palpatine

    I bet Lucas himself designed that.

  • Hmmm. Disguise the racism. Leotard could be retard. YES!? Jar Jar: Dawn of the AIDS gettin, minor league bat/ball loving leotard.

    #Trump2016

  • Palpatine

    Are you speaking Gungan language right now?

  • Just your friendly neighbourhood fatguy.

  • Oh Eightball, show us what the world would look like if Nazi Elves ruled it!

    #Lalalallalaalaalaaaaa

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dP9Wp6QVbsk

  • instant relief

    I am afraid that is one of the less obnoxious german Schlager songs.

  • Like Icare

    Lucas just doesn’t know when to keep his stupid pie hole shut.

    http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20131229013957/villains/images/7/7b/Goofy_Time.png

  • Sully
  • Sully
  • instant relief

    Thunderbird’s better anyways.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zXDo4dL7SU

  • Red Skeleton

    Boss Nass: It’s GOOFY TIME!!
    Jar Jar: NOOO, BOSSA, NO!!!

  • Red Skeleton

    FUCK!

  • Red Skeleton
  • instant relief

    If only my dad had the decency to put on a Goofy mask.

  • instant relief

    *hand

  • That gave me a woody…

  • Generic upvote.

  • instant relief
  • instant relief

    Generic flag as inappropriate.

  • Gavin Callaghan

    I’ve posted this before, but I’ll do it again- someone needs to re-edit Dark Knight Rises so that when Bruce Wayne screams in Bane’s prison, it cuts to a shot of Bat-Mite floating in the cell with him. It would show the degree to which he is hallucinating, after months of hanging from the ropes-

  • instant relief

    Time & place?

  • Red Skeleton

    Twice in the ass?

  • instant relief

    Sounds like a date to me!

  • Palpatine

    The comments have been awfully boring without Omitted’s sex jokes, Pa’s grumpiness, and Andrew’s trolling.

  • instant relief

    What you talking bout some cracka ass cracka?

  • Uncle Sporkums

    I prefer my hand jobs from Rich, thank you very much.

  • Red Skeleton

    What happened to Pa? I thought he was still posting. AND Andrew.

  • Palpatine

    Pa’s still around, he’s just not making any comments because of the bannings.

  • Red Skeleton

    Oh, right.

  • Palpatine

    As for Andrew, his First Last account was banned for giving away personal info. Again.

  • Like Icare

    He should tell that to Moe Zart.
    You know… guy who composed this classic:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C78HBp-Youk

    Or Blind Willie Johnson.
    Who may be on that record Carl Sagan made for the aliens, along with Moe, but he died as if he was the fukin worst human being ever.

    In 1945, his home burned to the ground. With nowhere else to go, Johnson lived in the burned ruins of his home, sleeping on a wet bed in the August/September Texas heat. He lived like this until he contracted malarial fever, and died on September 18, 1945. (The death certificate reports the cause of death as malarial fever, with syphilis and blindness as contributing factors.)[2]
    In an interview, Angeline said that she tried to take him to a hospital, which refused to admit him because he was blind. Other sources report that the refusal was due to his being black.

    The best part is, when I look up “Dark Was The Night, Cold Was The Ground” – I get informed that WMG has blocked it in my country on account of copyright grounds.
    That’s cold. As the night that was dark.

  • Like Icare
  • Hank_Henshaw

    Still more coherently edited than your average Nolan action scene.

  • Like Icare

    He’s Pa-pa-pa-poker face-ing it.

    It’s a thing.

  • Like Icare

    Whose personal info now?
    Did he reveal someone’s secret identity?
    Was it the Secret Squirrel?
    Isn’t squirrel like one of the weirdest spellings in English language ever?

  • Red Skeleton

    Wait, waht? Srsly?

  • Red Skeleton

    Yeah. I’ve read somewhere it’s the longest one syllable word in the english language, though I’m not convinced.

  • Palpatine
  • Like Icare

    That just made me rewatch the Plinkett review again. And the trailer for it. And Sara MacDermott’s intellectual properties.

    My… Someone at RLM sure likes their oranges and teals, if you know what I mean.

  • Like Icare

    Any Jennifer taking up or thinking of taking up “Affleck” as her last name?

  • Well, he certainly wasn’t keeping his squirrel secret.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcXNL-96WxE

  • Alex

    ..and Tina Turners wig.

  • Alex

    0:45 really nice edit there.
    Guess I gotta check out that commentary after all.

  • Alex

    That gag drawing always makes me chuckle, I drew the same kind of shit when I was a kid, just to annoy my brother.

  • Domo

    Hey! Guess what?! There’s a new set of Lego Star Wars toys, and a new Millenium Falcon fuckhole that Plinkett can play with!

    Old Han Solo, Chewwie and some new character named Rey can even watch from the cockpit!

    http://www.polygon.com/2015/8/17/9165967/force-awakens-star-wars-lego

  • The Ghost

    That edit at 00:46.

    *Clap* *Clap*

  • Andrew

    I don’t know what you’re talking about.

  • tOmy`

    Well, the funny thing is that Shadow is totally a fan of Mozart and many other clas-

    *several gunshots, yet again*

    Ok, I shall shut up now

  • tOmy`

    Do you want some soothing My Chemical Romance trivia?

  • tOmy`

    Not gonna lie, that First Order Snowspeeder looks fucking great.

    Oh, well, guess it’s back to streets to exchange my luscious lips for money.

  • tOmy`

    He is not making any comments because he is hating the fact that we are talking about things that are topical right now:

    Star Wars
    Superheroes

    He is not on the hate / make fun of / cynically criticize hype train. He is ANTI-HYPE-TRAIN. Because Prince something something.

  • tOmy`

    It is a work of a genius. An Arkham Asylum genius

  • Jay Stein

    fuck no you’re not allowed to say retard, what are you some kind of r-tard?

  • Like Icare

    That’s Han SoloTM and ChewbaccaTM. They’ve trademarked their names.

    Which almost makes wanna adopt some children (from a parking lot), name them Han Solo and Chewbacca and then raise them to be porn stars, while I’d be running the Han Solo and Chewbacca porn star empire which would be financed by countersuits against Disney for trying to enforce a trademark against a personal name.

    But it is nice to see that the criminals (Tasu Leech and Kanjixlub gang member) are still brown.

    Can’t wait for that turd to get tossed into some rotating propeller blades by a free range Joss Whedon.

  • Palpatine

    I’m an AFOL (Adult Fan of Lego).

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hey guys, sorry if I wasn’t here all that much yesterday. I had a communications distribution which meant only one thing: invasion.

  • Palpatine

    Not you, a different Andrew.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Pa? WHAT HAPPEN TO PA?!

  • tOmy`

    So I was going home from a pub actually thinking about Star Wars merchandise. I come here and Domo is already bare-feet deep down in some LEGO bricks. I guess great felt… manic cartoon characters… think alike, but nevermind:

    I have to very honestly say (and applaud) to Star Wars merchandise: After years and years and ideas and ideas from left and right, Star Wars did leave a fascinating, cool and very casual trait of superb merchandise in stores. From those absurdly expensive “Empire” watches that just took the Imperial design, to symbols / graphics, to (stupidly) a T-shirt I am wearing now that was made by an actual massive company and makes AT-AT looks fucking subtle on. If there is one bright side of that “money-making” legacy – it is the fact that we can buy stuff that looks both very reserved (borderline professional) and still sports a very obvious callback to our childlike fantasies.

  • tOmy`

    Did you pay your phone bills?

  • Palpatine

    He hasn’t been commenting lately because of Omitted’s banning.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    But no. We need a grumpy old grandpa like him.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No Pa, no Omitted, no Andrew…I feel like I have to listen to that shitty Furious 7 song.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • tOmy`

    Or we can watch it. It is a great movie.

    It really is.

    Guys?

    … guys?

  • Sully

    Tell me about it. Fuck this place. You know where I’ll be, Wizard.

  • Sully

    It wasn’t terrible.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Sully

    Too *fox fart* late.

  • tOmy`

    I laughed for two hours. Gimme a comedy that can do it and I shall stop nominating it for Oscars. Well, Mad Max is sorta ruining that nomination but still…

    FUCKING ROCK DESTROYS A DRONE WITH AN AMBULANCE. COME ON!!!!!

  • Like Icare

    It’s stylistically designed to be that way.

  • Palpatine

    I remember when they made a buff Luke action figure:
    http://www.rebelscum.com/photo.asp?image=/potf2/POTF2lukeloose.jpg

  • Sully

    The entire finale parking lot sequence was more insane than any of the “exaggerated” sequences in The Matrix. But that’s kinda what I liked about it. It’s schlock. It knows it’s schlock, and it embraces it.

  • Beckoning Chasm

    That’s pretty damned impressive.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It just fun as shit but not as fun as the last one, which had them go up against a tank on a highway and a fucking military plane. I am glad these movies know they’re dumb though unlike other movies.

    http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/36900000/Transformers-poster-the-transformers-36957363-1070-1500.jpg

  • Domo

    Ooh, me, too! I just learned about counterfeit mini-figures after shopping for some at a convention this weekend, then spent a few hours learning how to tell the real ones from the fakes.

    It’s about as ridiculous as shopping for designer handbags.

  • tOmy`

    It is. The self-parody rhythm (including “You just jumped through 2 buildings.” “Three.”) is the best selling point ever. When they don’t care, I am not gonna fucking care. I am just gonna get a beer or eight and laugh.

    The only “odd” thing is that they left so much “dead” and “goodbye” scenes with Paul Walker in it (excluding the last, on purpose one) that I felt really… well, not uncomfortable, just like an asshole for laughing at it. They… they really should have edited some shit out of that movie.

  • tOmy`

    That Tank scene is right there next to “of all the gin joints…” and “rosebud” scenes. Forever.

    It cannot be undone.

    http://www.empireonline.com/images/uploaded/fast-and-furious-6-michelle-rodriguez-vin-diesel-jump-catch.jpg

    It is way too glorious.

  • Domo

    Those are the best kind of farts.

    And otter farts, because of the bubbles!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Justin Lin is now doing Star Trek the Star Trek 3. Do you think we’ll get a movie scene like the tank scene in Star Trek 3?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *slow fap* I miss Omitted.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    English butler ones are better. Especially Alfred’s. He puts the Butt in butler.

  • tOmy`

    I am not sure. But I do hope he delivers on that frantic, out of the place, wannabe art-house camera.

    But as I said it here already: Star Treks needs some gear (warp?) change shots.

  • tOmy`

    What the fuck is a designer handbag and does it come in LEGO?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What about James Wan doing Aquaman? Will he have dumb shit like Vin Diesel and Paul Walker in a car jumping from one skyscraper to skyscraper to another skyscraper only with Jason Momoa’s Aquaman?

  • tOmy`

    That is the thing! He should have…

    But he won’t. Come to think of it, Fast & Furious gang is the closest we got to actual comic book heroes in a fucking decade. I mean shit, Deadpool should be the one to embrace the ridiculousness and just look at that shit:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyKWUTwSYAs

  • its called bleach

    remember that weird dude who was humping a r2d2 toy? what ever happened to that guy

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That Aquaman movie should have humor in it. Despite how he looks Jason Momoa is a really funny and sweet person. If they can do the underwater stuff and get the horror elements of the comics with humor because you have fucking Aquaman I am sold on the movie.

  • Palpatine

    Do you have Stage One MacGregor’s Syndrome?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I ate some pizza earlier today. I know I should’ve cancelled it but I couldn’t. I haven’t farted yet so I think I’m safe.

  • Palpatine

    The farting means your digestive system is slowly shutting down.

  • Sully

    It was fine. They really are like family now after doing so many movies together, so if they want to spend an extra 5 minutes of runtime devoted to a fallen friend, it’s fine. Everything’s fine. It’s fine.

  • Sully

    I’m storing it in balloons for later.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The only thing that can cure it is blue goo from Mr. Freeze.

  • Palpatine

    If you do get it, I have two vials of blue alien cum with me.

  • tOmy`

    I just sorta lost hope / hype for these things.

    Hellboy sucked, Constantine show was bad. Good game, everyone lost. People should just leave comic books alone if they don’t have right crew, right mindset and right vision to do it. From that perspective, Aquaman looks like a fucking bad idea that even Entourage made fun of when they made that movie.

    They are, honestly, right now making a movie that was a punchline to… making movies. I always try not to judge a product before it lands on a shelf, but come on! Simple example: I am a fan of Sandman, Discworld and Lovecratf. And when those suckers tell me it’s gonna get “produced”, well… I am hitting L.A. with a machine-gun. Some. Things. Won’t. Work.

  • Palpatine

    Be like the kid from Thunderpants and launch a space shuttle into space.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Wizard Phoenix

    The song wasn’t. It’s kinda shitty because clearly the two dicks as I call them don’t care about Paul Walker.

  • tOmy`

    No, no, I get that. And that is one of the reasons I love these movies. But when I saw it the second time around…

    There were just things that remind me of how Paul Walker actually died… in the freaking movie. I was sort of an OK with the last “goodbye” scene, despite it feeling a bit way too cheap for a situation when actual person died, but there were moments like “no more funerals” etc. during the movie connected to the real “plot” that seemed… avoidable. That movie has honestly a rather dark vibe when you look at it from that perspective and it was the first time in that franchise when I felt they should have kept a closer eye on things.

  • tOmy`

    Really? You liked it?

    I am not gonna say I hated it, but I wanted to see actual horror based on an actual folklore… not a superhero movie. No offence, but this one really felt like a big “meh” to me. Just because (from my own perspective) the mood / style was sooooo off.

  • tOmy`

    Well, I am making no sense anymore (apples and especially my porcupine sentences) and I ran out of beer, so I shall bid you all goodbye for now.

    Rest in peace, Paul Walker, we care.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkrXd37BYIA

  • Sully

    I get what you’re saying now. Yeah… There were def a couple of sad/dark moments in the movie that I remember thinking, “I may have re-edited that scene differently.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Why are you obsessed with Paul Walker?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well speaking of Fast and Furious I found this
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GjJfaJI25o

  • Sully

    You’re defending an awesome movie with a video clip from an awesome movie.

    Infinite implied upvotes.

  • Bongodoug

    im obsessed with Paul Williams

  • Sully
  • Palpatine

    Why are you obsessed with Karen O?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well Sully thanks for that rude and insensitive gif. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WSe9ugpXIw

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Karen wasn’t in that movie with the huskies.

  • Sully

    You’re welcome.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’ll end up in comment heaven with Palpy’s old comments and the one with the Scarlet Johansson gif

  • Palpatine

    Has she even been in a movie?

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Sully

    Because it’s too funny, or…?

  • Palpatine

    Are Andrew’s and Jaws’ comments there too?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “Too soon”
    -Jessi

  • Palpatine

    Remember Ebola?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That was the OJ Simpson lawyer right?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    It was, though, sorta terrible. This probably won’t surprise you, but I was disappointed in it. yeah, I know…But, hear me out. The Mignola Hellboy comics have such a unique quality, such an idiosyncratic graphic style. The mix of real folklore and made-up shit. And, all that art which serves, in the comic, as “pillow shots” serve in Ozu films. Little panels of weird nothing. Indispensable to the comics and totally missing from the movie. The film adaptation should have been something more experimental, artful, weird and eerie. Instead, it was a generic “this happens and that happens and strange creatures and make-up.” It was just, you know, sufficiently competent as an effects film, with nothing special about it. Now, I KNOW Del Toro can do special. This was what he did after PAN’S?

    #Blegh

  • Wizard Phoenix

    PA! YOU’RE ALIVE!

  • Palpatine

    Was she Bryce Dallas Howard’s stunt double in Jurassic World?

  • Palpatine

    I believe so. He sadly died on 9/11.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    ♪ Like father like son
    Not flesh nor fish nor bone
    A red rag hangs from an open mouth.
    Alive at both ends but a little dead in the middle,
    A-tumbling and a-bumbling he will go.
    All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
    Could never put a smile on that face.

    He’s a sly one, he’s a shy one
    Wouldn’t you be too.
    Scared to be left all on his own.
    Hasn’t a, hasn’t a friend to play with, the ugly duckling
    The pressure on, the bubble will burst before our eyes.
    All the while in perfect time
    His tears are falling on the ground
    But if you don’t stand up you don’t stand a chance. ♪

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You guys are never at the, um, oleHay.

  • Sully

    She said that a year ago. It’s def time now. It’s gotta be.
    IT’S GOTTA BE!!!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well at least you didn’t joke about Phil.

  • Sully

    My comment was about Furious 7, not Hellboy, though I did enjoy Hellboy, even though, as you said, it wasn’t the comics.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Yeesh.

    You’d think the two worst Batman movies ever made would smoosh like peanut butter and chocolate.

    #NotSoMuch

    Watching this was like a shiv to the spleen.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Oh, my bad. Sorry. Wait. What? You’re saying FURIOUS 7 wasn’t terrible?

    I don’t even know who you are any more.

  • Palpatine

    There you are, we was just wondering where you were.

  • Sully

    It’s was a serviceable schlock action film, which is what it was supposed to be, so yeah… in that regard, it wasn’t terrible.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    #Hiya

  • Sully

    The only thing I actually found funny in this little clip was the awkward Batman sliding down the statue bit. The rest? Not so much.

  • Palpatine

    Why haven’t you been commenting lately?

  • Palpatine

    Mike edited it, what do you expect?

  • Sully

    MOAR!!!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    @mitchelltaconash:disqus

    Thanks for the recommendation on THE GIFT. I enjoyed it. Particularly when Bateman went off on his character’s skewed Winners/Losers-Alpha Capitalist rant. Like many people have been, I was a little peeved went it went full-horror show at the end and forgot that the wife was the central point-of-view and not just a prop, but I wasn’t peeved enough that it soured my take on the movie. Really great little chamber-piece psychodrama. On a par with GONE GIRL, I think.

    So, tit-for-tat, I have a recommendation for you. If you have a yearn for an absurd, dry farce…THE 100 YEAR-OLD MAN WHO CLIMBED OUT THE WINDOW AND DISAPPEARED is out on DVD now. I had a lot of fun watching it.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Still irked about omitted’s censorship. Plus, I have to take breaks every once in awhile. More for your all’s benefit than mine own. Just how much do you want to hear me snark on Star Wars when you’re all getting your enthusiasms revved up?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    When something makes a gabillion dollars box office, I don’t think the “I’m supposed tebbe a little schlocky” excuse carries, really.

    I think it’s graduated to being offensive on a whole ‘nother level.

  • RLMkeepitup

    come to Florida we have legoland

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    *used condoms

  • RLMkeepitup

    I’m a bit stunned Mike threw this together so quick.. it’s like his old creative mojo is returning. I knew 3 half in the bags in a row would cause something to happen.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    *something to happen chaffing

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I resemble that remark.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    That, and I’m, like, 80 or something.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You are, but you are not allowed to call Goofy a retard. He’s a lovable mutt with a speech impediment.

    Now, Forrest Gump – there’s a retard!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I feel it’s important to teach children that DJs are not musicians.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    But, he’s mostly a fan of spinning. ‘Cause it’s a neat trick.

  • Palpatine

    We all are. Also, Andrew got banned again.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Yay!

  • Jay Stein

    That was dumb. But now I know I will never see DKR, ever.

  • Jay Stein

    Snark away, please

  • Jay Stein

    Helloboy sucked??!?!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    And now I know, you are luckier than I.

  • Jay Stein

    I’m sorry…

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    It’s Batman. I do it, because, I dunno, I kinda have to? I’ll even probably buy and read the next Frank Miller Batman thing. At $13 bucks an issue, for eight issues. Why?

    Why?

    I know it’ll hurt. Why?

    #ReallyWhy?

    At least I’m not a fan of some Marvel maguffiny sh!t.

  • Jay Stein

    I’ve never liked anything other than Batman 66 and the Dark Knight stuff by Frank Miller

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    He seems happier in recent videos, possibly because Space Cop is nearing completion. But, that’s just my interpretation. I wasn’t actually there.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    “So, here we have butt, cock, and that’s butt, cock, and that’s how we’re starting our Batman movie.”
    -Jay Bauman, Supermodel, Playgirl

  • Amontillado

    They delivered!!!!!

  • Amontillado

    Now we need a quip off between Poison Ivy (Uma Thurman) and Catwoman (Anne Hathaway).

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    “quip off”

    Is that what the younglings call it nowadays?

  • Amontillado

    “Well old movies used to show good looking people to look at.”
    -Joel Schumacher, Retired Pornstar, Citizen Kane

  • Amontillado

    or a, “quipination,” resulting in a “quipening.”

  • Amontillado

    You leave Worf’s soda dispenser out of this!

  • Amontillado

    It’s also due to Tom Hardy’s insatiable appetite for human flesh due to his Britishness

  • Amontillado

    “Batsy is that youuuuu?!”

  • Amontillado

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgKAFK5djSk; for de Walker – now Sky Walker

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Pa, that thing is called “The Master Race”. Why would you want to read that? It’s current day Frank Miller, the promotional image is Batman with his fists soaked in blood, and a bleeding S-shield on the background… and it is called “The Master Race”. It’s going to suck more than anything that has ever sucked before.

  • Amontillado

    Maybe that end scene in the 2nd to last Half in the Bag exorcise the Pre Rec demons plaguing Mike’s soul. Mike’s a jealous man. #TeamUnhealthyRichObsession#TeamConfirmedImaginaryFriends

  • Amontillado
  • Hank_Henshaw

    I just remembered this. In some interview while promoting this movie, someone asked Schumacher why this Batman was more lighthearted, and joke-y, than in previous movies. Schumacher’s response, you ask? Well, he thought that enough time had passed for Batman to get over his parents’ murders, so now he was more relaxed enjoying life.

    Schumacher gets the concept behind Batman to perfection.

  • Amontillado

    Ermagawd, liek s0 obvi you don’t get it, cause like Joel Schumacher and Christopher Nolan are so like, totally cinematic geniuses.

    So obvi cause like Joel Schumacher likes to tell it like it is, which is why he likes lot of naked bodies and focusing on their nakidity; and like Christopher Nolan is so genius if you sniff his farts you’ll become like super genius yourself. It’s like so obvi. So like it’s like naked bodies covered in farts is what Im saying i guess, i dunno, lol

  • Niccageshair

    B&R really should have had a scene like this:
    Alfred: “You know Master Wayne it has been like 30 years, time to stop crying and go outside in something other than a rubber suit.”
    Bruce: “Fuck you where’s my pizza you dying man!!!”

  • Palpatine

    The Phantom of the Opera is another example of Schumacher over sexualizing people.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Prrrrrvtttt!

  • Angel Dust

    Tom Hardy’s a big guy

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Like the guy who made Cool Cat?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *Rich Evans is a big guy

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Emmy Rossum was underaged in that movie I believe

  • its called bleach

    lol frank miller is terrible

  • its called bleach

    much like my commenting lately

  • IRONMANAustralia

    I’m so sick of people regurgitating the obviously bullshit retcon that the old Adam West Batman series was a “comedy” show. It could only be considered a “comedy” in the same sense that Dante’s “Divine Comedy” was labelled a comedy, (which basically encompassed everything but the most solemn Greek tragedy).

    While it might be campy and hard to take seriously in retrospect, I could say the same about the 1936 Flash Gordon series, The Wizard of Oz, or Star Trek TOS. Are you going to tell me those are “comedy” shows? Are you going to try to tell me people didn’t take the Lone Ranger seriously at the time, even though it had fantastical elements not to be taken too seriously, and it was to some degree aimed at children?

    It’s this retarded “Seduction of the Innocent” type attitude that plagued superhero movies for decades. To assume that just because something originated and/or fit the style of comic books, that somehow licenced writers and directors to throw all logic out the window. That because it had some whimsical premise or outlandish costume, it’s all just funny-ha-ha with no genuine drama or significant theme. Fuck that bullshit. I’ve been exasperatedly saying it for decades, “Comic does not equal comedy!” Maybe we need a new word for what those shows are, but they don’t even fit the modern meaning of the term, “comedy show”, and sure as fuck
    never did.

    Thinking it does results in precisely the kind of mess the ‘Batman and Robin’ movie is. That’s the major underlying problem with it. Not only that the director thinks he’s making a kids “comic” on the level of a Garfield newspaper strip, but all the actors think they’re in one.

    That’s why this movie also has the same feel as the “fake nerd girl” phenomenon. There you have some air-head who doesn’t know, understand, or have any genuine interest in the material, suddenly wanting to get involved because it’s popular.

    To illustrate, just imagine if in High School, the school play was “The Wrath of Khan” and all the “cool kids” were tripping over themselves to be in it. You’d have some stupid jock playing Captain Kirk, the head cheerleader playing Uhura and they’d make it all about them … wait … what the fuck am I talking about … that already actually happened with the new Star Trek films … we’ve all seen it.

    Uh … at any rate … I can well imagine how Batman and Robin came to be in a Hollywood setting. The first films made some money and it was looking like a big franchise, so the studios threw a bunch of money at the next film. Every man and his dog wanted to be in the next one, and any celebrity-of-the-week was snapped up with both hands for misguided short-term marketing reasons. The influx of parasitic idiots who “just wanted to be in a Batman film”, rather than make a good movie about the character, distorted the entire thing into one mass vanity project until they overwhelmed and killed the host franchise. That’s why it has that unmistakable nepotistic stench all over it, where every line is the actor hamming it up like it was all just some kind of in-joke between a bunch of kids making a goofy home video for their friends, not a character saying a line of dialogue that matters to the story they are in.

  • Andrew

    Are you sure…?

  • Michael Collins

    Calm down

  • Michael Collins

    Nice editing, mixing two pigs ears to make a silk purse, well done..

  • xDiscipleOfTheWatchx

    I hope so 😉

  • He gets large extremely fast!

    Click here for gif
    http://i.imgur.com/e8mMzeK.gif

  • Oh! I hope it’s not another Michael Bane movie.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    *Dick big guy

  • WrongWithYourFace

    *Sheev

  • WrongWithYourFace

    The Scarlett Johansson gif is very much alive and kicking, thank you very much.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Well, that’s obviously a callback to the original movie poster.

  • Joe Syxpac

    R.I.P

    Poor Mr. Ramis can’t come back to life like Twinkie did.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Could you please restate that?

    Only this time use more words and say less.

  • instant relief

    ‘Star Wars: Episode VIII’ Eyes Baneicio Del Toro to Play Villain

  • instant relief

    Great, now I gotta change my underwear… again.

  • instant relief

    Pervert! Me gusto.

  • Cynthia R. Jean

    ⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖
    …………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
    >>►>>►>> Tinyurl.com/Top5Level4Careers12
    I bought a new blue
    Mercedes-Benz GLA-Class SUV doing some
    job with a Homes-PC.
    Now l have earned an average of $99////hr….
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    right Over here
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  • Cynthia R. Jean

    ⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖⚖
    ………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
    >>►>>►>> Tinyurl.com/Top5Level4Careers12
    I bought a new blue
    Mercedes-Benz GLA-Class SUV doing some
    job with a Homes-PC.
    Now l have earned an average of $99////hr….
    Read For work information
    right Over here
    >►►>►►>►► Tinyurl.com/Top5Level4Careers12

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  • instant relief

    Did you actually read the whole thing?

  • Sully

    In related news: the 1960s Batgirl, Yvonne Craig, has passed away at the age of 78.

    http://comicbook.com/2015/08/19/batmans-yvonne-craig-has-passed-away/

  • tOmy`

    I knew I can drag you outta of our… early retirement.

  • tOmy`

    Did you see A Most Violent Year and Inside Llewyn Davis? I am glad those frauds brought them up, great movies.

    Also, there is a DVD of DJ Shadow’s live performance.

  • Milton Dammers

    I’m ok with the fridge too… that 10 seconds of stupidity has a really great scene before it with the fake town, and a great shot of the mushroom cloud at the end of it. I can overlook it.

  • Alexander Hjelm

    To be fair, comparing the Adam West show to Wizard of Oz is not a fair statement in of itself. There were some light elements of humour in the characters in the Cowardly Lion etc, but is probably a side effect of it being a lighter tone. It didn’t have actual jokes, as far as I remember.

    What they meant is that the Adam West show, while it had the lighter and campier tone that Batman and Robin might’ve been going for, it actually had jokes and gags. The “somedays you just can’t get rid of a bomb” or Alfred pranking the Joker in an elevator (might sound a bit wrong) are actual things you are supposed to laugh at. There are also things in the Batman and Robin movie that you’re supposed to laugh at, but it doesn’t work. That’s really the difference between the two, not to mention the slightly Tim Burton esque dark visuals that contrast the general tone of the movie.

    Ultimately, though, I find that most comic book movies have a hard time striking a balance in tone and how they treat the subject matter. Nolan takes it so seriously it almost becomes a parody, considering it’s a guy fighting criminals while dressed as a bat.

  • tOmy`

    I think I had much bigger fun watching Batman And Robin And Batgirl with frauds’ commentary than sitting through the last Nolan Batman – I honestly don’t even remember how is that one titled. Rise of the Batsurfer?

  • TapewormBike

    Yeah, it’s camp, not comedy. End of story.

  • “Where’s the door button at?”

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    All of that may be true. (I said may be. That’s what I do!) Probably will be true. But, Azzarello is co-writing it, which may temper Miller’s instinctive misanthropy. As far as I know, Miller’s only doing covers, so, while the art might also suck, it won’t be due to him.

    We’re assuming “Master Race” refers to Nazis, because, again, Miller. It might just as well be a nasty take on Liberals or, my guess, superheroes, especially ones that run fast.

    Most of all, Batman. I will always take a peek at everything Batman, even though it’s getting near the point where I dislike more of it, more often than not.

    Batman and the Planet of the Apes. Also, the Universal Monsters. These are my personal Star Wars-es. Can’t help it. Won’t apologize for it.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Didn’t see the former movie. Loved the latter. Loved, loved, LOVED it.
    Not that I’d marry it, though. Confirmed for single.

  • Sully
  • Sully

    For you.

  • tOmy`

    I strongly recommend watching the former then, I enjoyed it more than the latter.

    It is not the twist on gangster / crime movies we wanted, but holy shit, we did need it.

  • tOmy`

    Because I have feelings!!!!!

    Jeeez, dude, do you even drift?

  • TapewormBike

    Is, but was not. Dark Knight Returns is great, because it’s the least subtle thing ever and Miller can’t do subtle. But it was before he forgot how to actually write anything that’s not a bitter atempt at right wing satire. All of his Daredevil stuff is some of the best comics ever written. Not to mention a times drawn by David Mazzucchelli or The God of Comicbook Art as I call him.

  • TapewormBike

    I can’t do Miller anymore. Have you ever seen a picture of him from the 80s? I think his power was in his hair.

  • tOmy`

    And speaking of Inside:

    I was absolutely on board the whole movie – performances, writing, everything was spot on. But the ending was the thing that really elevated it from “pretty good” to “holy shit great” for me.

  • TapewormBike
  • TapewormBike

    I have this theory that Tom Hardy was bullied in school because of his boner-like surname and this movie is where he dealt with it.

  • tOmy`

    By getting beaten by a man in a latex suit and a girl who meows? Reputation restored!

  • Sully

    What’s with Bats always beating the shit out of Robin?

    http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/icon_uk/11800056/834360/834360_640.jpg

  • TapewormBike

    No, by suggesting that he’s a child molester, stupid.

  • tOmy`

    *Mickey Mouse voice*
    “I am untouchable now! The same cannot be stated about kids, tho.”

  • TapewormBike

    It’s his thing, don’t be a buzzkill, man.

  • instant relief

    It was just an innocent massage.

  • tOmy`

    The place we cannot speak of is going to have a feature presentation tonight. You can read more about it in that place we don’t speak of by default.

    For more information, contact your local NSA headquarters.

  • Sully
  • tOmy`

    Well that got unpleasantly dark knight rather fast.

  • Sully

    You snow it!!

  • TapewormBike

    I wish, but I am actually Edward Snowden, soooo. I might show up tonight then. I’m talking about your bedroom.

  • tOmy`

    I shall prepare the pillows then. We have some silk ones, some velvet ones and the one you can bite.

  • TapewormBike
  • Bubs

    Hey, for anyone here who has Netflix and doesn’t know. Currently available on Netflix, from the brilliant mind of Christopher Nolan (Inception), with an academy award winning script by Lawrence Kasdan (The Empire Strikes Back), Starring Brad Pitt (Martin), Robert DiNero (Sprinkles), and Michael J. Fox (Screwball). The winner of more than 14 academy awards, you’d be stupid to miss out on this cinematic masterpiece. Watch “Kitten Party” now, only on Netflix!

    For those of you still unconvinced, you can watch the trailer here:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihcG_EG-6f8

  • Dysfunctional superhero family day out.

    http://i.imgur.com/AxFDzAv.jpg

  • Bubs

    The place we cannot speak of?
    You mean The Manhole?
    Conveniently located at this link?
    http://cytu.be/r/TheManhole

    Question mark??

  • Sully

    Speaking of cats, I found yours.

    http://i.imgur.com/mQ1CYem.jpg

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    3 different fraud film makers in one.

  • tOmy`

    I really hope this scene makes it into Yawn of Justice.

  • tOmy`

    Also known as fraudverload.

  • Sully

    The woman in pink is whispering, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

  • ‘Dawn of Justice: Do you bleed?’ tells a perverted tale of lost superhero virignity.

    OH God I went there. I should stay away from these jokes. One will always end up in a dark place.

  • instant relief

    Banned!

  • Sully

    That’s why they call him “The Dark Knight.” He’s got an affinity for brown eyed beauties. Oh… oh god, it’s getting worse.

  • tOmy`

    No probs, bro, they apparently swing that way anyway.

  • -Aren’t you Superman? And you just sit there and laugh! What kind of monster are you?

    -Hohohoho. May father put me in a space egg and sent me here. Now I’m a freak wearing spandex. Get off my back I need this lady!

  • Bubs

    The Manhole is eating into RLM’s profits. It syphons over 100,000 3 visitors a day!

  • Newsflash. The bat in Batman has nothing to do with noctunal animals… it’s another kind of a bat. Aw gawd! Stop this.

  • tOmy`

    Do you think he used the bat to rob(in) his friend of his anal virginity?

  • I have not finished my anal-ysis.

  • Sully

    I thought it was an acronym for Boys Attract Tallywha– MAKE IT STOPPPPP!!!!

  • tOmy`

    That’s what Robin said.

  • instant relief

    Banned for life!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I really don’t want to, but I’ll allow it.

    To find all the ambiguously gay comic panels in the long history of Golden and Silver Age Batman comics would probably take one a lifetime.

  • Weltmeister

    Don’t understand the Bane story anyway…was Bane just a wrestler in the comicbooks just like how he is in the movies? Why not some semi mutated Hulk thingy? And why does Batman just kick his ass? Because thing in the mouth?

  • Weltmeister

    I’m never sure if these persons are just bored to death to write something like this or want to find someone like themself to write letters.

  • tOmy`

    I usually write long shit because I talk a lot in real life.

  • Amontillado

    Talk about schaudenfrauden!

  • Amontillado

    That’s one fucking nice kitty.

    http://i.imgur.com/pqaAABa.jpg

  • TapewormBike

    He wears an actual luchador mask in the comics, so, more of a wrestler. I have to say, even if there is lots to make fun of, I do like this version better than the one in comicbooks, while not being a fan of this particular movie.

  • Amontillado

    One more Bubbles gif for the road: http://giphy.com/gifs/boys-park-gabber-1ZA4TZlRMBof6

  • Do you milk your cats, Bubs?

  • Amontillado
  • Bubs

    Kitty milk is some of the best milk you can get. It’s all chocked full of calcium and fuckin nutrients. And it tastes great too!

  • Who the fuck is Wyoming Kid? What’s his superpower? Buffalo wings? Why isn’t HE sitting on the see-saw?

  • tOmy`

    He can totally turn into a yellow stone / rocky mountain.

  • Amontillado

    Goofy v. Jar Jar: the Prequel Part 1 of 2, Invisible War part 1 of 12, Rise of Goofy.

  • Weltmeister

    Not your kind of comments! ^^ I mean comments were you can see it is “cry for conversation”. Or troll bait. Like these random religios comments you can find all over youtube. Obvious bait to start a flame war. But I’m not sure this is the case here.

  • A wrestler supergenius who uses steroids (the Venom formula), he broke Batman’s back. And apparently is one of his greatest enemies. He also knew his identity at some point but forgot it due to some bullshit excuse.

  • instant relief

    I wish I could fuck myself. Finally a way to make myself feel good.

  • Doctor John Smith
  • Palpatine

    Andrew, is that you?

  • Wow, for a non-fan the guy knows a lot about Star Wars. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cg-pnGFbwMQ

  • Dr Who?

  • Hey @disqus_xYONdDQI0r:disqus you’ve made it to reddit. Someone even took the time to call this a “new low”. http://imgur.com/XTsOPSM

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Bane was handled pretty well in Arkham Origins. It was kind of like a hybrid between the comic and the Hardy version.

  • tOmy`
  • Like Icare

    Naah… It’s stupid, lazy and bad film making.

    Not only is it blowing its load early, with a nuke going off in the first 20 minutes of the movie that then proceeds to have scenes of such high action as riding a motorcycle, driving in a truck, driving an amphibious truck down a river, running down stairs that are coming out of the wall and finally – running out of a room and up some stairs until water washes them up the well so they can sit and watch the lake.

    It’s a movie made upside down, because of that one “cool” scene of a nuke exploding.

    But besides that, the whole “nuke the fridge” thing could have been avoided (and had they dropped the whole swinging with the monkeys and fencing on cars bit it would have been almost a decent movie) AND still have all those scenes in it just by rearranging things a little.

    Instead of stumbling on a countdown switch for a jet engine, have Jones and the “Russian” accidentally activate a nuke, and then Jones locks himself up on the wrong side of a blast door.

    Make it a homage to Ford’s accidental closing of the blast doors in Return of the Jedi, or to Jones finding himself on the wrong side of the secret rotating fireplace passage in The Last Crusade, or “escaping” onto an airplane in Temple of Doom.He runs around the compound looking for a way out, runs by the rocketsled, stops, turns around…

    Then cut to outside where Russians are escaping while the klaxons are klaxoning and the countdown is reaching zero… then have the EXPLOSION.
    Instead of tearing up a town from the outside, have it tear up a military base from the inside.

    Then show Jones’ rocket sled flying down the tracks ahead of the explosion, reaching the end of the tracks, flying off across a ravine – and have him land inside an abandoned mine shaft. Or in a ravine.

    Take your pick.
    One allows for “homage” to the Temple, and for a scene of him crawling out of the mine and seeing a big giant hole where the base used to be, foreshadowing the big giant hole at the end of the movie (so it rhymes).
    And he can even follow the damn rodents to the surface.
    The other one allows him to crawl out of the ravine and witness the mushroom cloud.

    Just fuck the fridge.
    That’s some stupid connotation that kids from the ’50s called Steve have screwed inside their brains with talks about kids locking themselves inside fridges and suffocating – ergo fridges are dangerous/exciting.
    Spielberg wanted to have that scene in Back to the Future, but back then it was too expensive to film in Nevada.
    King just wrote scary fridges into both Shining AND It.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Malcolm is the middle.

  • Like Icare

    Der Schwindeluberladung?

  • Weltmeister

    Die (!!!) Schwindelüberladung
    Überladung is feminine -> “die”

  • Hank_Henshaw

    You might be right.

    I’m guessing they will want it to tie-in with the Batman v Superman movie. Superman will be the bad guy (it’s Frank Miller), and he will want to to do some racial cleansing and turn humanity into kryptonians “for their own good”, but Batman is having none of that. That’s where my imagination took me when I saw the promotional image.

  • TheManHole

    Joke is on them we have already sunk so slow that it has created a overflow/rounding error and accidentally wrap back around to reach new heights.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s a shame The Gift is currently making less then Fantastic Four in theatres.

  • Banenana. The fruit that wears a mask and slices your throat in your sleep. Banenana.

  • TheManHole
  • That’s the guy! He took over the fruit bowl and blew up the refrigirator! Yelling about opression and taking ‘it’ back. I don’t know, I was waaaay to drunk to remember!

  • Sully

    *”ah na laa.

    That’s what it sounds like with my dick in their mouth.

    Tell’em I said, thanks for subscribing.

  • Palpatine

    Do you want to get banned for bringing up that site?!

  • Bubs

    So watching this made me want to watch The Dark Knight Rises again. So I did. And I know it will probably never happen, but I really wouldn’t mind seeing Joseph Gordon-Levitt return in a new Nolan-esque batman movie as either Robin (could be cool if done right) or as someone trying to follow in Batman’s footsteps (i.e. Batman Beyond). Say what you will about the Nolan trilogy. No they’re not cinematic masterpieces – but they’re what movies should be: entertaining.

  • TheManHole

    They can’t ban us all… oh wait.

  • tOmy`

    I wasn’t entertained during the 3rd installment, but I shall allow your statement.

    Please, proceed.

  • instant relief

    My thoughts exactly. I never understood why they had to reboot Batman entirely (again) and not continue in Nolan’s universe with a different director.

  • Bubs

    Really? What didn’t you find entertaining about it? Bane is an interesting villain, if not an incredibly complex one. And the movie has an actual plot and character relationships (Unlike certain Shumacher films). I mean, you can’t expect Citizen Kane, but still…

  • instant relief

    You’re bane quite funny today.

  • TheManHole

    Nolan’s universe was more grounded in reality and took away more of the super natural elements in Batman. So it would not fit the universe Batman v Superman rush to the justice league is going for.

  • Sully

    I think Ben Affleck will make a fine Batman, but I would’ve liked if DC threw some cash at Joseph Gordon Levitt to come back and play Bats for the new CU, but I can understand why they didn’t. By rebooting the character entirely they also get to reinvent the Joker and everyone else who was killed, but yeah… I wanted Nolan’s version to go on.

  • Hahahahah! you’d better Baaaaanelieve it!

  • instant relief

    While I still very much enjoy the movie I felt sorry for Tom Hardy for having to wear that stupid mask the whole film.

  • Percy Gryce

    Beat me to the punch. I guess Mike & Jay & Richevans’s commentary track put her over the edge.

    Also note: she played Marta in Class Trek, so Mike can reference that now.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/20/arts/television/batgirl-dies-yvonne-craig.html?_r=0

  • instant relief

    True dat, but I’m with Bubs on this one. I wanted to see Levitt in a Robin suit. 🙂

  • Bubs

    Somebody made a comment somewhere else, which I thought was a really good point and goes along with Instant Relief’s post. There’s no need to reboot it, because the comic series are done by tons of different artists and writers over the years. They don’t need to redo batman’s origin story just because the actor changed or the director did. Just continue the plot with a new style. Let the movie stand on its own, but as part of a larger universe (sort of like fucking poetry). And people will either like it or hate it. And if they hate it, just make another one. Sort of like how James Bond has been for the past 5,000 years.

  • It’s work hours. And I gotta do something. But in all seriousness I come here to not get stressed out and unwind. I just want to read what people write mostly and drop off a few dumb comments that mean nothing.

  • instant relief

    It’s not Ben Affleck that has me worried about that movie. 😉

  • tOmy`

    I didn’t care much for the premise, I hated the first 20-ish minutes that were edited like it was a freaking trailer, glaring plot holes, glaring writing mistakes, glaring stupidity of everyone and anyone involved in the story-line, pacing and pretty much the whole ending.

    I wanna give it another shot, maybe my mindset was off, but it really made me forget about the whole Nolan Batman franchise.

  • Don’t you mean bane us all?

  • instant relief

    Btw. how does Bane go down on his gf with that mask?

  • TheManHole

    Good point but I think the reason they wanted their own take on the Batman story was to prevent any continuity things that might come up. Such as people who died or had their character arcs finish. This way you also have the added advantage of being able to sell the new Batman universe to make new films with a new director. A lot of it I think comes down the the business side of things and creating a brand. However; if Hollywood was not run by executive robots then I don’t see why this couldn’t work.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    it was his audition tape for Mad Max.

  • Palpatine

    I find it to be the weakest of the Nolan trilogy, which isn’t to say it’s bad, just not as good as its predecessor.

  • instant relief

    It’s obviously nowhere near as good as TDK, but after rewatching both Schumacher versions and Batman Returns again, I found a new appreciation for TDKR.

  • Percy Gryce

    That was Doctor Who. Apparently he know a lot of stuff.

  • I only hope they capture some of the darkness of the Burton films or TAS. If not in Yawn of Justice (rather impossible) then in his stand-alone Batman ones. I’m afraid however, that they’ll go the flashy New 52 route.

  • instant relief

    Maybe Fury Road is just a prequel to TDKR. That’s why it sucked so much! BWAHAHAH

    OH NO HE DIDNT!!! SAY WHAAAT!!!

  • tOmy`

    While this is true, I am pretty sure that after rewatching the first two Nolan Batmans, my new appreciation for TDKR would plummet yet again.

    It just felt sooooooo laaaaaaazy. To this day, I still believe that they call the bomb atomic at one scene and in the other neutron. I never went back to check it, but honestly, I think that this is the exact case of a movie where mistakes like this sorta happen, cuz who is gonna argue with Nolan now, huh? And it’s not like it matters anyway, Batman would survive a nuclear bomb strapped on a neutron one anyway.

  • Palpatine

    The whole third act is what kills it for me, it feels so rushed and full of plot holes.

  • Not sure he could hold a stable relationship and even gets to have a girlfriend but I guess he takes it of if he needs to eat or brush his teaths or I don’t know not get a rash! It’s all being explained in the spinoff series Being Bane. Directed by Clint Eastwood

  • Bubs

    I think the Dark Knight is a smarter film with a better villain. That being said, I had more fun with Rises because it’s like the perfect mixture of camp and realism. I mean, blowing up a stadium by laying explosives throughout the city is a ridiculous premise that only makes sense in a comic book. But it’s set against the backdrop of a real city, filled with comic book villains and real people who are starving and being murdered. I can’t make the argument that it’s a better film, but I found it more interesting.

  • instant relief

    The movie tries to do too many things at once and just devolves into an overblown mess. Also, Cillian Murphy is in for like 3 minutes, because remember him from the other movies?

  • tOmy`

    I think the movie was steadily killing me from the beginning. And that is the problem: There were massive plot holes and mistakes in Joker one, but we had Joker – he was so fucking good you just somehow missed a lot of nonsense.

    But TDRK felt like it started with poor editing, forced expositions and characters being stupid. Then it got tiny bit better, but at that point, it didn’t matter to me, cuz my brain was already in that “let’s see what else doesn’t work” mode. And then the “city under siege” thing came along which was just… idiotic. So after all this, the ending felt like Nolan just wanted to give me a middle finger for the road.

  • instant relief

    My guess is that he has tentacles around the mouth like Zoirdberg, enabling him to at the same time breath from the mask and you know do the Japanese fetish thingie.

  • instant relief

    I was just wondering, did they ever explain why Bane is wearing his mask? I can’t even remember.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I found that to be one of the biggest flaws of tdkr-the uneven balance of comic book schlock and ultra dark realism . For example the scene before the first bane and batman fight is batman&catwoman kicking some thugs.It’s campy and dumb but it lasts for like 30 seconds and then we immediately transition into bane and batman fight which is set in such serious tone it might as well be an action scene directed by Lars Von Trier. the whole film is full of transitions like these that completely messes up the tone of the film.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Death by Exile for you.

  • Palpatine

    It definitely had the best action in the trilogy, unlike the first one where the action made me sick to my stomach.

  • The mask is his persona. It was written in a way to mirror the Batman persona as Batman is a legend and an ideal and an idea for people to believe. Bane has a conversation with the CIA agen aboard the plane in the beginning in the movie explaining he was a nobody before the mask. When he puts on a mask it has to do with the representation of a real threat against society in just one man. One man is nobody but the mask elevates him to a dangerous force that the CIA has hunted for a long time. Kill that man and the danger gets cut off for a while. Well written character.

    Tha mask as just a piece of leather and tubes in itself is just comicbook stuff and would turn into shlock if it could give him special powers or be somesort of Shumacher neon science mumbojumbo.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Sully

    That scene could’ve played out so much cooler. Just have Catwoman show Batman the entrance to Bane’s hideout, and then have Bats sneak in using his League of Shadow skills, right past the guards, right into the room where Bane is sitting at a table working on his bomb detonator.
    Batman thinks he’s got the drop on Bane from his perch on the pipes above, until Bane says, “You think darkness is you ally. But you merely adopted the dark, Mr. Wayne.
    Batman drops from the shadows, Bane rises from his seat.
    Fight ensues.

  • tOmy`

    This is perfect.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Bane is the best thing about tdkr.

  • Sully

    Pitch… perfect.

  • EXACTLY! This is why I dont go to the supermarket anymore!

    https://youtu.be/0RfU5r63AXY?t=17m17s

  • tOmy`

    Again with the creativity on this webzone, jeeeez, people, leave the little man of Hollywood alone!!!!

  • Ogrot

    tOmy what do you mean glaring stupidity? I thought it was perfectly reasonable to send the entire police force into the sewer to find Batman.

    DKR was a slow pretentious build up to nothing. The series peaked at TDK big time and after watching even that decent one I still walk away feeling less appreciative. I used to think of TDK as a genuinely good film in most aspects of writing and direction. I now see it as a film rescued from mediocrity by a standout performance by the late Heath Ledger. TDK benefited from some simple effective theming. Joker = Terrorism and Disorder; Batman = Security through paternal strength and their struggle over Harvey Dent and the heart of Gotham.

    The film asked whether we acknowledge the monster we likely need to create and become to battle the Jihadi Joker’s of the world or we sweep it under the rug to preserve a noble lie about ourselves, and have some unseen PMC or Rogue CIA operation do the dirty work, so that we can sleep better at night believing the Joker is in a cage swallowing water through a towel. A deep question considering the era the movie was made in with its obvious global political allusions it was making. The Movie’s answer was a shallow yes, because Batman is the hero we need right now. But the strength of the whole thing is the theming is very clear. It lacks subtlety or depth but it fits together logically.

    DKR on the other hand was just a mess. It wasn’t unified under any overiding theme other than Batman is tired of being Batman, I guess??? The doomsday machine from Batman’s secret stash kind of brings back the old question from the last movie, but it’s shoehorned in the the third act and is just an excuse MacGuffin for a ticking time bomb chase sequence. Bane lacks any cohesive purpose or motivation to do Raj Al Ghul’s daughter’s dirty work nor seems to have a philosophy of his own that makes any sense. He just spends the movie reiterating that he’s here to punish Gotham for its… I don’t know decadence maybe? Maybe someone made fun of his dumb mask? And the main villain is reduced to a jilted lover with daddy issues. It was lackluster and was spared from spurn by borrowed goodwill from The Dark Knight. And frankly the dumb messageless action would’ve been passable were it not for pretentious gravitas attributed to it by the style and scoring of the whole thing. It was like watching an episode of the Maury Pauvich Show only everyone speaks in Shakespearian soliloquies and the audience politely nods and claps as if insightful things are said about who dat bitch’s baby daddy be. That is the problem. Now I will contend it doesn’t nearly get so childish. It ain’t Transformers, but let’s not pretend DKR has some sort of unseen depth deserving the reverence it pretends it deserves.

  • Sully
  • TheManHole
  • Niccageshair

    When Zack Synder is the director, the actors mean nothing.

  • Brack to the Future

    Speaking of hackfrauds, now we know for sure where Subway hides the salami.

  • tOmy`

    I didn’t exactly get that “Occupy” commentary either, or what the hell that was about. That movie is just a lazy mess, that’s all.

  • Brack to the Future

    Carrie Kelley is the Robin I want to see, chicken legs don’t shiv.

  • Niccageshair

    You think a show that had Vincent Price spouting egg-puns wasn’t a comedy?

  • Niccageshair

    But why does he wear the mask?

  • instant relief

    No, that’s Anne Hathaway’s ass in the catwoman outfit.

  • Ogrot

    I don’t know. I know Christopher Nolan is obsessed with “realism,” but was it too much to ask to adjust the sound mix so Bane wasn’t drowned out by ambient noise like the hum of pipes or the breeze gently blowing? People complained about the distortion on Immortant Joe but at least he was loud enough to hear. But I can only guess it was meant to be thematic juxtoposition of the US’s occupation of Iraq given the last movie’s predilection to being topical about the war on Terror. But none of it really matters because he’s just doing it because Ms. Al Ghul told him to, so she can get revenge on Bruce Wayne for not parking his batmobile in her bat cave. Or at the very least take a dip in her lazarus pit.

  • Niccageshair

    There were reports Nolan only did TDKR as a way to get Inception made. Make of that what you will but it certainly isn’t as tight a movie as the previous two.

  • LIFE CHANGING.

  • Unfortunately, I have to agree.

  • TapewormBike

    This is fucking brilliant

  • TapewormBike

    Catwoman herself in that movie I could do without. Not the ass though.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I’ll allow it.

  • TapewormBike

    I wonder if in the next few Batman movies, they’re just gonna remake all of the main villains and add the way too trashy Harley Quinn? Not man yof them are movie-compatible. Mad Hatter? Forget it. I want to see KGBeast personally.

  • tOmy`

    Calendar Man: Julian Day is known for committing crimes that correspond with holidays and significant dates. He often wears costumes to correlate with the date of the designated crime.

  • Like Icare

    I don’t see how that is germane to the topic at hand.

    Then again, never did get the hang of them German articles.
    Particularly in their fuckin insanely compounded nouns.
    And I simply refuse using umlauts. Fuck em.
    Where would you fuck an umlaut? Right between the dots.

  • Brack to the Future

    What’s wrong with Ivy? I think she’s the bee’s knees.

  • TapewormBike

    Eh, it’s a good book, but like Hush, he kinda needs all the others to work.

  • Brack to the Future

    What about Temple Fugit? Is he canon?

  • TapewormBike

    I like Poison Ivy and I like what they did with her and Harley lately in the books (they be datin, yo), but I don’t see it working on the screen.

  • Brack to the Future

    I can see such an obvious “greenhouse gas” meme with her (judicious) use.

  • Domo

    What about Colander Girl? She kills people who call it a strainer instead of a colander.

  • TapewormBike

    Real name Lotta Holes

  • Brack to the Future

    Her canine sidekick: Cur La Table

  • I may have a terrible sense of humour taste but the best thing about the Dark Knight Trilogy was probably this series of videos.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1byycwl8qgc&index=1&list=PLAEB286C039A1A25E

  • Niccageshair

    Well that’s the issue, there are only three villains without crazy powers that have major name recognition(Two-face,Joker,Riddler). Once you get into the fringe baddies for people who don’t follow Batman it becomes a tougher sell. I would love to see Mad Hatter in a movie though.

  • TapewormBike

    Those are funny, being ppular does not make them less so. I genuienly like a lot of, mostly older, Collegehumour stuff

  • Speaking of trashy, has anybody seen the ‘Arkham Asylum’ prequel “Assault on Arkham”? They were trying WAY TOO HARD to be edgy when they didn’t need to. Whenever the villains needed a way out, Harley’s naked boobs were the go-to solution.

  • TapewormBike

    With all due respect to Murphy, who was great, I think we really need to see better Scarecrow too.

  • TapewormBike

    I am lost, like to the game? Arkham Asylum is the comic for me, so I get those mixed up.

  • Niccageshair

    I can see it now Batman:Day of Reckoning.

  • Assualt on Arkham was set in the Arkhamverse (aka the game universe). I think they also made it into a comic book series but I’m not sure.

  • tOmy`

    They had few really, really great videos. Same goes for Dorkly.

  • Niccageshair

    Murphy was great they just didn’t do dick with him. A scarecrow movie just screams David Lynch dream sequences to me.

    I will say Nolan did take risks using some lesser well known villains, I’m sure the studio was shitting it’s pants when he went “I want the bad guy to be Ra’s Al Ghul” and they went “Who?”

  • Domo

    “I holed that.”

    -Colander Girl, Deadliest Kitchen

  • Sully

    I’d like to see The Riddler done right; a sociopathic narcissist who’s figured out who Batman’s true identity is, and is using that information to fuck with him as well as Gotham’s other villains and police chomping at the bit to know who the real Batman is.
    I think that could make for a powerful cat & mouse-style movie.

  • Like Icare

    Almost.

    It needs a bit more schizophrenia to be perfect.
    And it completely forgot to include Jews, Masons, NWO, Reptilians OR Illuminati.
    Which only costs $100 US.
    http://illuminatifamily.puzl.com/illuminati-team

    Because Benjamin Franklin.

  • tOmy`

    Just saying: Some sources report that the colander in the form of pasta strainer, was recognized by Austrian authorities as a religious headgear of the parody religion, Pastafarianism, in 2011.[3][4] This was denied by Austrian authorities, saying that religious motives were not the reason to grant the permission of wearing the headgear in a passport.[5] The Czech Republic recognized this religious headgear in 2013.

  • Domo

    Dorkly’s Pokemon Rusty adventures are wonderful. It’s just a shame you have to sort through so much garbage now to find the 8-bit comedy sketches.

  • TapewormBike

    They’re never gonna get beyond the green suit, are they.

  • Niccageshair

    Combined it with Calendar Man and you have Lethal Weapon 6:Beverly Hills Cop 2:The Dark Knight Reunion. It will make a trillion dollars.

  • I’m not too well versed with the Batman mythos but I believe Ra’s is actually quite important within the whole story. He did manage to make the whole League of Assassins thing more plausible. None of that Lazarus pits bullshit.

  • Niccageshair

    They could barely get beyond thunderdome.

  • Palpatine

    Well here’s another sequel to a good film that has no point of being made:
    http://www.movienewsguide.com/kill-bill-3-movie-update-quentin-tarantino-reveals-plot-uma-thurman-rejoins-cast/84265

  • TapewormBike

    I think there’s just a straight playilist on Youtube. I like it as well, because I get the references. Also, there’s an animated Sonic series by some of the same people and I kinda liked that too.

  • Mark Bisone

    I personally can’t wait until they Nolan-ize Louie the Lilac. Instead of a pink-suited 30’s gangster trying to corner to flower market with his army of hippies, he’ll be an transexual Afghan warlord seizing the world’s poppy fields to finance global jihad.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    There’s the Arkham City and Knight prequel comics, Arkham City Endgame; the epilogue to the game, as well as Arkham Unhinged. From the little I’ve read and the lot I’ve heard, the latter is pretty sucky. The others are, well, prequels and epilogues.

  • TapewormBike

    Very important, but Nic meant that execs probably don’t go beyond sorta knowing the 60s show.

  • Niccageshair

    He’s important but I’m saying to the average moviegoer he is a risk.

  • Niccageshair

    Yes and I’m assuming the exces probably had seen the Burton’s as well I mean come on now.

  • Well, a Riddler movie would require Batman to be a bit more known so that he has a lot of enemies. If it was the first in the trilogy, almost nobody would care. Unless they’d mash it up with the story from the comic Arkham Origins was based on – where Black Mask pays a lot of assassins to hunt Batman down.

  • TapewormBike

    I mean, he’s been talking about that since he made the first two

    Point being, he has some ideas in his head, not just trying to grab people by nostalgia balls

  • Niccageshair

    He’s been talking about this for years. But with Tarantino you never know what kind of film it will turn into. Part 2 was very different than part 1.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    That movie made me realize just how bad badly written Harley dialogue can be.

    #Yahtzee

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I always thought that an adaptation of Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth, could work as a standalone movie. It’s mostly a Joker thing, but you’d get a chance to see other villains that would never get their own movie.

  • TapewormBike

    It’s all been written as one, Miramax made him chop it up.

  • Yahtzee indeed.
    Also, “I’m back, bitches!”

  • TapewormBike

    Is the game that? I presume not. I love the book, but we’re talking like actual horror movie then.

  • Niccageshair

    I know but it shows that part 3 could be something different entirely.

  • TapewormBike

    I know who Yahtzee is, when does that guy talk about Harley Quinn?

  • TapewormBike

    The little black girl growing up and going after the Bride, I think, originally.

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • Niccageshair

    Yeah but that’s just the framing device/Macguffin maybe they team up and fight zombies.

  • Like Icare

    Will it be called Kill 3ill^3 (read as kill bill cubed) cause it will be Tarantino’s 9th movie?

    Or will he do a hummus and call it his 8 and 1/2 movie?

    Will it feature a CGI David Carradine masturbating in a closet with a rope around his neck, with the other end of the rope around his Hattori Hanzo?

    Will it be 3 hours of Uma Thurman crying on the bathroom floor?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I only ever played Arkham City. From what I gather the game was inspired by the book, as in Joker plans a scheme to get Batman trapped inside Arkham Asylum and there he has to deal with a bunch of other bad guys, but that’s about it. The book wasn’t about Batman punching and kicking his way out of the asylym.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, that was always my initial guess. Also ELLE and the question mark.

  • TapewormBike

    Actually, they recently like oficially confirmed with saying something that they are also not believeing in simple monogamy at the same time (like, the two of them). Fanfiction is just fiction now. But the way some people write the relationship is actually great. Second best gay couple in comics after the faux Batman and Superman in The Authority.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Oh, and yes. With Leto’s Joker it wouldn’t work. Even if Morrisons original idea was to have the Joker be in drag as Madonna. Ah, but the editor said no to that. I miss the days where editors would say no to writers’ stupid ideas.

  • TapewormBike

    We can only hope

  • WrongWithYourFace

    “If you need me, just hole-a at me.”

  • Sully

    Well, the new (Affleck) Batman films are going to be based on a Batman whose been around for a couple of decades, so I’m guessing Arkham and the streets of Gotham are just full of folks dying to know who’s under the cowl.
    Now inject a new comer with a gift for solving mysteries and a penchant for fucking with people, and you’re gold.

    I’d do away with the Riddler, mask, though a green suit and bowler hat would be fine.

  • Like Icare

    There’s no relationship like a fictional one. Just ask any stalker.

  • TapewormBike

    Morrison does not give a fuck now. I kinda like that though, the man has made a hobby out of being incomprehensible in his plotting.

  • Like Icare

    I’ll allow it!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Neil Gaiman says everything not done by the creators is fanfiction.

  • Be right back, I think I need to get me some hand lotion.

  • Niccageshair

    What we are forgetting here is that Ennio Morricone is doing his first western score in over 40 years for the Hateful Eight. Get out your brass horns and clackers and celebrate!!!

  • TapewormBike

    He’s married to Amanda Palmer, so, he’s probably right about everything.

  • Yeah, at least we can be sure they won’t go full retard and make his origin connected to a failed Calendarman attack during St. Patrick’s day.

  • Palpatine

    He’s still alive?

  • TapewormBike

    What we’re forgetting is that Ennio Morricone is not dead

  • Niccageshair

    Somehow yes

  • :O

  • Palpatine

    And Uma Thurman needs a paycheck.

  • Like Icare

    Hey, neither is Clint… And Eli Wallach checked out only last year.

  • She obviously didn’t get paid enough for her work on Batman and Robin.

  • TapewormBike

    Paycheck she can get, good role not really.

  • Niccageshair

    Why don’t they ever keep villains alive in this extended universe crap. Wouldn’t it make it more interesting to have the bad guys plotting and scheming over several movies instead of this villain of the week stuff. Aren’t most comics set up like: Riddler gets so and so to do something to hide what he is actually doing.

  • Like Icare

    Wasn’t she in a movie with that name?

  • Beats me, but it would surely help them with not having to reboot the shit out of their movies every 5 years.

  • TapewormBike

    4 Years

  • TapewormBike

    3 Years…

  • Palpatine

    And let’s not forget Taratino’s planet sized ego.

  • TapewormBike

    And foot fetish

  • Like Icare

    You mean like how both Freeze and Ivy survived in Batman and Robin?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Well said…

    But they also said it fucked kept the pain away.

    #ComicsBeComics

  • Like Icare

    Two weeks…

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Batgirl and Supergirl? Who says that?

  • Sonic For Hire? It completely fell apart near the end.

  • Niccageshair

    They rebooted Spiderman 3 times since the comment string began

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Don’t forget about the Auralnauts dubs!

  • Palpatine

    I can just see him going; “Ha ha ha, I’m gonna make the same movies over and over again because I’m so fucking awesome!”.

  • TapewormBike

    Noone, but you gotta get that mental image in somehow.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Riddler too. Right? I can’t remember. Or more accurately, I don’t want to.

  • Sully

    Marvel is doing that with Thanos; a behind the scenes player that’s been around since the first Avengers, fed the events of Guardians of the Galaxy, and is about to finally come to the surface in Infinity War.

  • bleurgh

    It looked like they were setting that up with TDK, but then Heath Ledger had to go and get addicted to sedatives.

  • TapewormBike

    Oh yeah, that’s the one.

  • They made DK dubs too? Oh, now I have to watch them!

  • Niccageshair

    Yes Batman:Forever could have had 2000 bad guys.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Well, TDKR ones.

    #StrawberriesArePackedWithFiber

  • Red Skeleton

    im happy

  • Palpatine

    You’re only saying that because you’re a Marvel Zombie.

  • Like Icare

    Probably Kevin Smith.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I don’t know, Ra’s without the immortality angle is just some guy with an army of ninjas working for him.

  • Niccageshair

    But it doesn’t really feel connected. The movie just happens then Thanos shows up after the credits.

  • TapewormBike

    That guy’s an expert on lesbians, we’ve all seen the documentary Chasing Amy.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Well, there’s those moments in the cartoons when Batgirl is riding Supergirl and such, so it’s not that hard to jump to conclusions.

  • bleurgh

    As much of a fan as I am of Tarrantino and Kill Bill the last thing I want him to waste his time with is Kill Bill 3. Dude is an innovator. He should do something new.

  • Sully

    He was actively spoken of and seen in Guardians, but yeah, a little more screen time would help connect the films a little more.

  • Niccageshair

    They really need to vet their drug addled actors better.

  • TapewormBike

    Innovator is not the word I would use. He straight up just takes awesome shots from different movies, or whole storylines for that matter. He is he best damn mash-up writer to ever exist.

  • bleurgh

    What happened to Uma after Kill Bill? I thought she was going to take off.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yahtzee is an exclamation that the writer of the movie for some no reason decided should be Harley’s catchphrase.

  • TapewormBike

    I feel like the Infinity War is gonna be somewhat anticlimactic. Like Thor 2, once the whole universe is in peril, I sorta stop caring.

  • Brack to the Future

    Scarecrow keeps coming back so that Cillian can complete his shitty contract deal. Thank heaven for Peaky Blinders.

  • Still sounds pretty bad ass to me.

  • bleurgh

    He’s still innovative in the way he combines those ideas.

  • Palpatine

    Denying him the right to do whatever he wants with his movies is not a good idea.

  • Brack to the Future

    Or find a more respectable vet from whom to score sedatives.

  • TapewormBike

    He is definitely innovatve, iI’m not arguing against that, it’s just the more of his inspiration you see, the more you realize just how much and wholly he uses of that stuff.

  • TapewormBike

    Yup, three whole new origin stories.

  • Like Icare

    All females in comics and fiction in general are “secretly” bisexual.

    Because, you know, that thing… Feminism, right! That’s a feminism.
    Strong powerful lesbians who like to suck dick.

  • Mr.Fister

    Is this the real life or is this just fantasy?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Just tone him down from the game’s a bit and you’re good: http://www.pcgames.de/screenshots/970×546/2012/09/batman_arkham_city_riddler.jpg

  • TapewormBike

    As men, we know it to be true.

  • Niccageshair

    Caught in a landslide, No escape from reality.

  • Niccageshair

    But Guardians felt like the little bastard child of universe. Just playing devil’s advocate here but they could have someone like the guy Sam Rockwell plays come back and be compelling working with other bad guys(I know he was more comedy relief in that movie but still).

  • Niccageshair

    Somehow Toby Maguire was in one

  • They’ll probably make him a nerd hipster hacker who sports a bowler.

  • Palpatine

    3-2-3-4, 4-2-3, and…

  • TapewormBike

    Well, he cried in a meeting with producers and they were sick looking at that mangled face.

  • Niccageshair

    “God damnit let’s give him another shot” J Jonah Moviestudioman

  • Buk Pravon

    That’s not entirely true. He composed one track for “Django unchained”.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Django_Unchained#Music

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Or a trilby. In fact, they’ll make him exactly like the new Q in Craig Bond films.

  • Mark Bisone

    I might fork over a few bucks to watch a billionaire psychopath punch that guy in the face.

  • Niccageshair

    One song isn’t a full score. I don’t think Morricone would use Rick Ross.

  • tOmy`

    We will we will with the lights out it’s less dangerous

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yesterday I finished reading more or less my first Spider-Man comic, Return of the Black Cat or something. Boy, was the writing clanky and outdated. Have these comics always been like this?

  • Buk Pravon

    Hm. :/ The german wikipedia article says, he also did the music for “Lucky Luke” from ’91. … But the english one doesn’t confirm it.

  • Palpatine

    Here we are now, entertain us!

  • Cuz I’d miss you, baby and I don’t wanna miss a thaaang.

  • Sully

    I think Infinity War is Marvel’s way of cleaning house. Robert Downey Jr. and the rest of the Marvel heroes can’t do this forever, and likely don’t want to, so the best way to do that is to wipe out the heroes in a massive battle and to bring in new blood and new versions of old blood to keep things going.
    It’s a more effective way of rebooting the CU without being as blatant as “next movie, all new actors for no reason.”

  • Brack to the Future

    Has anybody here actually smelled Teen Spirit on a live girl? I have and it’s intoxicating. Reminds me of summers with Bartles & Jaymes. Ah Agnes, you were a fine one.

  • Brack to the Future

    Wanna know how I got these Z-bars?

  • Sully

    From what I understand, he had a doctor on the East Coast and one on the West Coast, and both prescribed the same medicine with different names, and he unwittingly overdosed.
    I could be wrong.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Let’s play a game! Guess how many executives are getting fired because of Fant4stic?

  • bleurgh

    You guys realise Bane would have had to take off his mask to shave his head right?

  • Palpatine

    I don’t know, how many?

  • TapewormBike

    Try out Bendis on the Ultimate Spiderman. Or better comicbooks, generally.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I don’t know but they’re projected to lose nearly $90 Million dollars on it.

  • Buk Pravon

    3.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well some do and I believe that Jared Leto signed on to do more DC movies and so did Jesse Eisenberg. I think the kill off the villain thing is the problem of Marvel movies because I think the screenwriters and Fiege know a majority of Marvel villains aren’t interesting enough to bring into more movies. DC won’t do that because they have better villains, they’re going to save them for more movies.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    2 3 4 4 2 3 AND!

  • Palpatine

    2.

  • Niccageshair

    It will be interesting to see how DC approaches their universe I’m sure they have pages and pages of notes watching how Marvel did it.

  • Brack to the Future

    If perchance you want lit and can tolerate horror comics, try out Creepy. They do Poe, Vicfic, American Indian tales and more.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Can you use it in a sentence?

  • TapewormBike

    As far as starter stuff goes, I think Chew might be ideal, plus it’s some of the funniest and most original stuff ever writen.

  • Weltmeister

    It was a bit of roleplaying combined with a good opportunity. I just liked the imagination of a Schwindelüberladung. And polished the article to make it perfect! 🙂 I should use more smileys maybe… .
    BTW I think if Schwindelüberladung happens you begin to feel sick and then vomit your lunch. Your creation could actually make it into the Duden!! o0

  • Palpatine

    Now let’s stop with Ishtar because we don’t want to be like the RLM Reddit who make jokes about it all the fucking time.

  • Brack to the Future

    $1m spent on cg for Kate Mara’s hair alone.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    And what they’re doing wrong like the villain aspect. I do appreciate that WB is letting the directors have more artistic freedom with their movies as long as it fits into what the studio wants their Universe to be.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Those men are pawns.

  • Buk Pravon

    I had one shot free, because I didn’t do it till now. 🙂

  • Hank_Henshaw

    She made My Super Ex-Girlfriend, or what I like to call it “How Ivan Reitman Can’t Direct Good High-Concept Comedies Anymore”

  • bleurgh

    He was taking way more than the prescribed dose. I don’t doubt it was an accidental overdose, but it was very much the result of addictive behaviour. Sedatives are crazy addictive and they are prescribed way too much.

  • Palpatine

    How much has it made?

  • Niccageshair

    But when the director is Zack Synder does freedom matter?

    I give you a great actor as directed by Synder:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spwoWkSEmsE

  • Brack to the Future

    Sure, but when you actually become cynical enough to dispense them from a Jake Gyllenhaal Pez, there may be some personal responsibility.

  • Sully

    I would hope all of them, but I’d settle for 3 (no name dropping).

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Little over $100 Million on a $120 million dollar production budget plus development and marketing budget. So that’s more than Tomorrowland will lose.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ben Affleck is basically directing Batman v Superman at this point.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Executives usually don’t get fired, the people doing all the work do.

  • Palpatine

    I don’t know the names of any 20th Century Fox executives.

  • Niccageshair

    Then there’s hope I guess.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I still can’t believe what Snyder did to Llewyn Davis.

  • Niccageshair

    It won’t be as bad as The Lone Ranger when Disney was considering downsizing because of it. Just a few guys being thrown out for complete and utter mismangement.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    These men are paaawwwns.

  • None. Josh Trank was the scapegoat. And his behaviour certainly helped him to become one.

  • Sully

    Disney was blowing steam. They could stand to lose a few hundred million here or there and not even notice. Fox, however, doesn’t have the disposable cash that Disney does.

    To compare: FOX’s networth is around $11 Billion. Compare that to Disney’s $75 Billion.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Yes.

  • So are they frauds or pawns?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Never imagined the author of ‘tess of the d’urbervilles’ could get so physical. Seems like an Asylum movie waiting to happen – Thomas Hardy v. Virginia Robo-Woolf, anyone?

  • Niccageshair

    11 billion? Then everything not bolted down must go!!!! I’m sure they will be fine but a few heads will certainly roll.

  • YES. The title of the play “Who’s afraid of Virginia Woolf?” would finally make sense.

  • 4 would be like poetry, though. It would rhyme.

  • Sully

    I’ll allow it.

  • TapewormBike

    “You make me puke! Because you punched me in my gut like really hard!”

  • Sully

    Well yeah, his OD is evidence that he was taking too much, but the problem is, if you pop 2 of the little white ones and one of the larger white ones (both the same drug, but from different companies), then an OD happens. The issue is, his doctor should’ve checked his records from the West Coast. If he had, he’d of seen he was already taking that med and didn’t need another new painkiller. I don’t even think Ledger was aware he was taking the same drug twice. Some people are dumb and think you can interchange meds like Tylenol and Ibuprofen, but you can’t do that.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Frauds in the streets, pawns in the sheets.

  • Weltmeister

    the answer is 42

  • instant relief

    Shut your whore mouth!

  • Sully

    Neither.

  • instant relief

    If this was a real life fantasy, I’d be getting head by Rich.

  • Sully

    You are(n’t).

  • Cream-A-Thon

    “Don’t talk about Bane, Martha.”

  • Cream-A-Thon
  • Sully
  • Hank_Henshaw

    That’s all? If that’s enough to suspect Batgirl and Supergirl are doing it, then Batman and all the Robins are really, really gay. Except that Robin that is his son, that’d be too sick.

  • instant relief

    I’m (not) confused.

  • Brack to the Future

    [ostrich from family guy]Ha![/offg]

  • Sully

    As you should(n’t) be.

  • Sully

    Better that than the other way around. Amiright?!

  • Brack to the Future

    See, this is why I come here. You guys with the comments actually make me want to watch whatever video is connected.

    You guys are good.

    ETA: The video was not good.

  • Brack to the Future

    In a truck stop in Des Moines? If so, Hillary ’16 is on your side!

  • Brack to the Future

    Just do a wildcard search on *stein, *berg, gold*, and *man. Avoid anything that has a *son or a gib*.

  • Brack to the Future

    Whoa what the fuck is a Fantfourstic? Is it like a Spalding Grey Sesevenen* thing?

    *Se7en with Brad Paisely and Morgan Oldman

  • Marvin Falz

    Jar Jar was inspired by Goofy? Why is this Prequels thing always getting worse? Like, you just thought that’s it, your mind is at peace finally, and then news like this. The Prequels are like evil ghosts. You think the Prequels are dead and buried, but the ghosts come back to haunt you and torture you.

  • tOmy`

    Both?

  • TapewormBike

    Get to fucking work!

  • TheManHole

    Why have the comments been so low these last few video’s?

  • tOmy`

    Too much intrusive content on this chat.

  • Brack to the Future

    Apparently fewer people are making $85 per hour selling their souls online!
    #techpocalypse

  • Domo

    There’s only so much Batman I can take, personally. After this, the commentary, and the extensive Batman discussion in the most recent Pre-Rec thread, I’m kinda burned out.

  • TheManHole

    Tell that to Hollywood or better yet DC it seems to be the only movie franchise that can’t drive right into the ground no matter how hard they tried with Batman and Robin.

  • Brack to the Future

    Speaking of measurements, I think there should be a new quantity added to the lexicon. It’s a Fogle. A unit of FBI investigatory power.

    Common Usage: “If the FBI used like an eighth of a Fogle, they’d take down that cunt Hillary for good!”

  • tOmy`

    30 minutes till the KIKI over at that place. What is KIKI you ask?

    I have no fucking clue. Let me know!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Lego Batman is getting theatrical release. That’s just… I don’t even… fuck everything.

  • Brack to the Future

    I can’t be glib about this. Lego photoplay is basically the end of Imagination. What next? “Erector Set, The Motion Picture?”

  • TheManHole

    Okay so we all know that Batman and Robin was an unmitigated shit show but what do you guys think was the worst of the worst for comic book movies? Personally I think the fist Hulk movie. It has to be one of the worst movies given a theatrical release. With outdated special effects that completely take you out of the movie, to really dumb panel style shots to make it more “comic bookie”, and worst of all a story so uninteresting confusing and excruciatingly boring that it has you wishing for deaths sweat embrace before the half way mark.

    Also here is a bunny
    ( )_( )
    ( ‘ . ‘ )
    C(“) (“)

  • Brack to the Future

    Eric Bana? Not worse than “I can ruin anything but Fight Club” Ed Norton.

  • Palpatine

    What is it with comic book related stuff that seems to strike a nerve with people on here?

  • TheManHole

    Over overexposed to it.

  • tOmy`

    Like a wrecking baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I was never into Lego as a kid, but it always struck me that kids that liked to play with Lego was because it allowed you to build whatever you wanted. Same applies to Meccano or any other blocks-type toys. Playing with action figures (like I did) also allowed you to use you imagination, but it was more of a plot thing, creating your own “episodes” in the lives of He-Man, the Turtles, etc. I guess. I don’t know where I’m going with this… oh, yeah. So, now it looks like Lego is all about licenses, which means playing within the rules of Lord of the Rings, Batman, Pirates of the Caribbean, etc. Which seems odd to me. Or maybe these Star Wars, Jurassic World, DC/Marvel Lego sets are for adult collectors, who might not want to own an action figure, but Lego is ok because it’s ironic or something.

  • TheManHole

    I love Ozzy Osbourne

  • Hank_Henshaw

    So many options. Choosing just one would be unfair to the other worthy candidates.

  • Mr.Fister

    Ha! They named a truck after me….I am living the dream baby

  • tOmy`

    Well, as a fan of both Star Wars and LEGO, I have to say, that I found most of the LEGO disappointing. These franchise sets came along when the LEGO itself was dropping on a quality:

    – Stickers instead of designed bricks
    – War toys / aliens
    – Bigger prices
    – Crazy, less appealing, over-done, hypercharged bullshit

    I do own several SW Lego sets, but only those, who I found both challenging to build and at the same time more of a “display” pieces.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Oh, so they don’t come assembled. That changes everything. Shows how much I know about Lego.

  • tOmy`

    He truly is the master of dubstep.

  • TheManHole

    Lego has made a large effort to expand what it’s brand means. When you look at the amount of toy companies trying to create movies and games out of their respective brands you have to admit that Lego has done a much better job then the rest. I would sit and watch the Lego movie ten times over before watching Battle Ship or one of the horrible Transformers movies.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Absolutely.

  • Palpatine

    Catwoman with Haley Barrey, no question.

  • Domo

    Oh! No nerve struck. I like talking/reading comic book stuff, but after 3 discussion threads that are predominately Batman, I’m more than happy to take a little break.

  • tOmy`

    It would destroy the fun, at least to some degree. When I was young, I just liked to build – so it was a simple pleasure for me.

    Now it is more of a looking how all the pre-used pieces come together with the new ones, how well can you design different angles and new shapes just by using established bricks etc. Let’s say I am more “turned on” by the design itself.

  • TheManHole

    I sort of forgot that movie was a thing…At least that movie has the just over the top stupid scenes to laugh at. Like when she starts rubbing cat nip all over her face.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    No way that’s a real thing. Really?

  • Palpatine

    I was really referring to the Batman News thing.

  • instant relief

    But he (didn’t) swallow(ed).

  • instant relief

    *thong

  • TheManHole

    http://tinyurl.com/ox8ame3

    Could not find a clip of just that but here is a clip of it from a review.

  • instant relief

    Oh, god, everytime I see the NC I wanna kick his fucking teeth in.

  • TheManHole

    Lol my bad I just knew he did a review of the movie and wanted to show off the humiliating scene to anyone who has not had the pleasure of seeing it.

  • instant relief

    I know. Maybe I was just overreacting a bit. I STILL WANNA KICK HIS DAMN TEETH IN! HE MAKES ME ANGRY! GRAH!!!

  • TheManHole

    Haha any reason why? I mean I know he has a rather shrill screaming style voice.

  • Malevolence

    Wow, Well Done Indeed 🙂

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Catwoman, Fant4stic, 1990 Captain America, Superman IV, Hulk, Trial of The Incredible Hulk, all Power Rangers movies, and of course Steel with Shaq. Fuck all these movies they are the worst superhero movies ever made. This music plays in my end as I think about how people actually say they believe they’re good. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5JvbD2Zc9I

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I met a woman who liked it. Thankfully this woman was hit by a truck right after she told me so. That movie is cursed.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Catwoman (2004) has a 18% audience rating on Rotten Tomatoes that implies someone liked it, multiple people in fact. *pumps shotgun* I’ll go first.

  • Palpatine

    I never heard ofTrial of the Incredible Hulk. What’s it about, does he go to court or something?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes, it is so horrible on so many levels. Even though it is a TV movie starring Bill Bixby’s Hulk it makes no sense at all and is really a horrible pilot for a Daredevil TV show. Not one on par with the awesome Netflix show, a horrible low budget one. Cynical and dumb and illogical I hate it.

  • Weltmeister

    you were more fun with your old avatar: https://whattodoaboutme.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/pony.jpg Now think about that! Hahahaha! 😀

  • instant relief

    Well, I got promoted. I’m a direct advisor of mein Führer now. I can’t be associated with my gay furry past anymore.

  • instant relief

    I just grew very tired of him. A couple of years ago he had some promise, but he still repeating his old shtick and never came up with something fresh .

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Thanks for the bunny.

  • Amontillado

    It is a long journey little grasshopper, but I faith in you.

  • Percy Gryce

    Was that version translated from the original Asian?

  • Amontillado

    BTW, gives a whole new meaning to dick the birthday boy

  • Oh Gawd no! Don’t don’t remind me. I even remember the horror of the trailer. I saw this with my own eyes! I wish I was born blind. I just wanted someone to GOUGE OUT MY GUNGIN EYES!

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0115624/

  • instant relief

    I wanna BBQ that bunny!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *wabbit

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Riddler’s head did that weird Elephant Man thing for no reason, which would’ve killed anybody, but, yeah, he was shown alive and crazy, and regular head-sized, for a split second at the end.

    Gawd that movie is sooooo fyucking bad.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You dare mention that piece of shit?!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WSe9ugpXIw

  • instant relief

    I knew someone who would watch that over and over just to fap to Pamela Anderson.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Plus, it would necessitate DC’s greatest detective to do some actual detecting for once in a movie. I think the only time they’ve ever even hinted at that aspect of the character is in the first Burton.

  • Yea that’s all it was! A Baywatch breakthrough and bewbs. I actually watched the V.I.P series… oww the guioylt!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Wanna hear my Scarecrow theory? He should be Batman’s prime nemesis because he, not The Joker, is really the hero’s opposite. Problem is they’ve stuck him with that fear gas nonsense and forgotten that there a million ways to scare people.

    Scarecrow is probably my favorite villain who has never gotten a great moment in comics or film.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Ra’s Al Ghul has been a major player in the comics since the ’70s.

    Regrettably. I hate that guy. Second-rate Vandal Savage.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Thank Gawd no.

  • Brack to the Future

    Speaking of radioactivity, don’t forget the new rfid standard coming into effect in October. Your plastic will carry junk-shredding chips, so shield that shit. My suggestion is the Tumi ID series.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Yes. Pain relief.

  • Palpatine

    *Jar Jar

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Sorry, Boss, but you have this wrong. I’d never tell anybody to go back and watch the stupid thing, but the mask is a requirement for Bane, not an affectation. It relieves pain from injuries he sustained while he was in the pit. The whole flashback sequence explains it.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    In the comics the mask is totally unnecessary. It’s a fyucking luchador mask. The tube which feeds him a constant stream of “venom” was the necessary thingie, although I think current continuity has him cured of his addiction.

    The movie removed the whole venom-as-steroid angle.

  • Palpatine

    Christian fundies freak out when they hear that kind of stuff.

  • Brack to the Future

    You know a great portion of that 18% is still turned on by her awesome sex scene with Bobby Lee Thornton Blount or whatever his name was. You know, in the movie where Heath Ledger killed himself? Halle was so fucking hot, that probably skewed everything.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You may be fond of Hathaway’s ass, but as “Not-Catwoman” she’s horrible. If Bane was the “best” reconfiguring of a Batman character in the Nolanverse, Selina Kyle was the absolute worst.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Nope. Not gonna allow it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Icky icky goo!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    More people than liked FANT4STIC.

  • Brack to the Future

    Mark of The Beast?

    More like Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom, only Marlin Perkins is in everybody’s phones.

  • Palpatine

    SOS was right!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I would say I liked Fant4stic more than Catwoman but just barely.

  • Sully

    What if Ben Affleck were Joseph Gordon’s Batman, but 20 years later? What about that shit, Pa?

  • Weltmeister

    I actually had a talk with one of his last radio operators from his bunker in Berlin. According to him Mr. A.H. was not that friendly anymore in his last days as we were used to know him. Constantly threatening the 17years young soldiers he would have them killed if they’ll recieve one more bad news. Screaming behind them in rage. They were always wearing unlocked pistols for the case that he turns his words into actions. I doubt to be a direct advisor would have been that much fun. Rainbow pony or not.

  • Like Icare

    See… that may not be so simple.

    Anyone remember The Spirit?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bv72Xiec3xQ
    Yes, that is a real Samuel L. Jackson and a real Scarlett Johansson.
    How that movie made $39 million worldwide (on a $60 million budget) just goes to show that people will go and watch any shit if it has celebrities in it.
    Written and directed by Frank Miller. Oh… Oh.

    Then, there’s Steel.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bAWWmLfkWo

    Then, there’s Elektra.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJsYp0oWAgk

    How many Punishers were there?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G59cD1NSbS8
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liABMxEvPAc
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umYvv7K4Z_I

    And then there’s Dylan Dog.
    Which would be just a bad movie on its own… but it is also a complete bastardization of the original comic.

    Which, granted, isn’t Bill Shakesman and it would often “borrow” ideas from Hollywood movies (his sidekick is called Groucho and is a Groucho Marx impersonator who goes around acting like a bad Groucho Marx impersonator) – but at least it would put a novel twist on it all.
    The movie though… it is just horrid.

    Particularly cause there already IS a sort of a “spiritual spin-off” of the Dylan Dog comics, made in 1994 in Italy, written by the guy who wrote DD comics, Tiziano Sclavi – and with the leading actor whose image served as the inspiration for the Dylan Dog character – Rupert Everett as the leading man.
    It’s a weird Italian horror by a guy who worked as a second unit director with Gilliam, Argento and Lamberto Bava.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbQaRP0m2HE

    It’s… different. Just like the comic.
    Now, compare that to the Hollywood reboot.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCeLIa02iy0

  • Sully

    They did a little in The Dark Knight when he showed up in the bank vault with Gordon after the Joker escaped., but yeah, they keep trying to make him a superhero instead of a vigilante detective.

  • Sully

    I’ll (not) allow it.

  • Weltmeister

    vote up cause bunny 🙂

  • Like Icare

    It was also yet another remake of Casablanca.

  • Guioylty pleasures are the best pleasures. But seriously, Pam wasn’t that great of a fap material in retrospect.

  • Is it blue, though? I need my MacGregor syndrome medicine.

  • *farts*

  • Like Icare

    It does reveal that Daredevil’s greatest fear are very large and loud speakers.
    But he gets over it with gymnastics.

  • Weltmeister

    Cause Halle Berry. A good looking woman with dark skin color. Mike and Jay discussed the color issue (movies made for a certain audience) in their “HitB Episode 24: Red Tails” very detailed.

  • Like Icare

    Grah means beans in my language.

  • I don’t I’ve think even heard of the Spirit…

  • TheManHole

    You may have gone too far in a few places.

  • Like Icare

    Possibly.

    Not sure if the effects can be diminished at this point though.

  • Like Icare

    It may be just what the hall of men deserves, but not what it needs right now.

  • Sully

    I prefer Ang Lee’s Hulk to many superhero films. In fact, in many ways, it’s the best representation of the Hulk’s abilities we’ve seen on film.
    Here’s my list of shit that’s scrapes the bottom of the Superhero barrel:

    -X-Men: Origins: Wolverine
    -X-Men: The Last Stand
    -Catwoman
    -Batman 2
    -Batman & Robin
    -Batman Forever
    -Green Lantern
    -Fantastic Four
    -Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
    -FANT4STIC
    -Superman IV: The Quest for Peace
    -Electra
    -Supergirl
    -Jonah Hex
    -Steel
    -Ghost Rider
    -Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
    -The Spirit
    -DareDevil (theatrical)

    Now here’s a fox…

    A__A
    (^ . ^) A
    (,,)…(,,) (W)
    (,,,)_(,,,) ‘_/

  • What about RIP PD or whatever it’s called?

  • Sully

    I’d rather watch that than these movies. It was shit, but Jeff Bridges shit goes a lot further than regular shit.

  • Like Icare

    I presume that everyone here is mostly just shootin shit and that all comments are mostly lighthearted.

  • Like Icare

    I’ve seen it, and I’d rather watch many movies on that list than watch that again.

    Like both X-men listed, Supergirl, original F4s, Daredevil, Batman 2 and I guess The Spirit cause I’ve never seen that one and it might be just bad enough and insane enough to be entertaining.

  • Like Icare

    Is this how Alfred got the MacGregor syndrome?
    http://www.museumofquackery.com/devices/rejuv.htm

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    No. There is one Batman, and he is Bruce Wayne. Period. Batman is not a logo. I hate that legacy crap.

    When a kid follows in his dad’s foot-steps, he still oughtta get to wear his own clothes.

  • Sully

    To each their own. That’s what I’m supposed to say, right?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hey guys remember Steel with Shaq? I wish I haven’t!

  • Sully

    True, but I’m still clinging to Nolan’s Batman. I’m worried what Snyder will do with the character. That said, I’m looking forward to Affleck’s standalone film, cause I know he’s a huge fan of the character.

  • Palpatine

    I can’t believe he used to be an actor.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    And a rapper.

  • Palpatine

    Does anyone wonder what Batman Triumphant would’ve been like had it been made?

  • Sully

    Luke Evans, Orlando Bloom, Rupert Friend…

    Why you no look different?

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BvCAj6oCUAAbXd1.jpg

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Admirable, but mistaken.

  • Palpatine

    Buffalo Bill’s house is for sale (creepy basement not included):
    http://www.rollingstone.com/tv/news/buffalo-bills-silence-of-the-lambs-house-for-sale-20150819

  • Hank_Henshaw

    What about Dylan Dog? That thing had nothing to do with the comic, except they had Routh dress exactly like the character, which is the least impressive achievement ever: black coat, red shirt, blue jeans.

  • Let Scientist Man Explain!
    http://i.imgur.com/kTfVNWo.jpg

  • Sully

    Never scene it. I’ll be sure not to.

  • Teeeerrrriiiibleeee.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Call in Jon Schnepp, he’ll know.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    The worst movie I’ve ever seen. Certainly the worst movie of the year, and possibly the worst movie I’ve seen in a long. I hate this movie. It was just terrible.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    “”””””””””””””””””””Actor””””””””””””””””””””””””””. In the same way Michael Jordan or Dennis Rodman were “”””””””””””””””””””actors””””””””””””””‘”””””””.

  • Kazaam, anyone?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What are you Mike?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    One of them was the tank guy from Fast and Furious 6.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Just quoting the review from that parallel universe where Batman Triumphant got made.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Jay Stein

    His stories are good, his art is..meh

  • Jay Stein

    I liked Supergirl, but not enough to keep it on my computer

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Spirit oh not that. That movie makes me hate Frank Miller even more. He couldn’t even make ScarJo hot in that movie!

  • Palpatine

    Who?

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    Silence of the Lambs: Good
    Red Dragon: Not Good, like at all, like even a little bit.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He made the Superman Lives documentary.

  • Palpatine

    Never seen it, what’s so bad about it?

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    It’s Edward Norton doing a terrible Jodie Foster.
    It’s the same movie, only done worse.
    It’s pretty much Jurassic Park: The Lost World

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    Honestly it would have been just another bad Batman movie, in a long, long line of Batman movies.

  • Noah R.

    I wish it was the Buffalo Bill who originally uploaded this great hit!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mO_u-EkJZ8E

  • Noah R.

    Just remember, when you trash Jar Jar anymore you also trash Goofy. Thank Jorge!

  • Noah R.

    Is anything related to Power Rangers remotely good? lol

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    I wish that movie was made, so people could TRULY see for themselves how bad bad Tim Burton movies really are, and I wouldn’t have to tell them.

  • Noah R.

    That’s what I’ve been wondering…

  • Palpatine

    The Lost World was not the same movie as Jurassic Park, it was almost completely different.

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    The Lost World may have been ”different”, maybe, but man was it fucking boring.

  • Palpatine

    Not all of his movies are bad.

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    Dude he was gonna have Nic Cage as Superman, nuff said.

  • Niccageshair

    It would have been great

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    *grate

  • Palpatine

    That still doesn’t mean every movie he’s made is bad.

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    it wasn’t exactly what you would call a ”good idea” though was it

  • Niccageshair

    You’re right, It was a fantastic idea

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    *fant4stic

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    Dear Palpy, and other Tim Burton Lovers.
    I’m a gonna check out Edward Scissor Hands. I have seen it, but not for the longest time.
    And if that is a good movie, which I suspect it may very well be, I do have fond memories of it.
    I will be the first to say not ALL Tim Burton movies suck.

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    True, but that may be due to Halle Berry’s boobs, which to be fair must be worth at least half a star each.

  • LameSame

    This, to me, is a huge plus.

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    Well if we are talking about how ”The Room” is ”Good” …well then yeah.

  • Otto T

    Arkham Knight without “WHAT A TWIST!! “

  • Niccageshair

    Right!!! I would have been great.

  • Otto T

    One time winner, two time nominee for best actor, nuff said.

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    I kinda liked him in ”The Rock”, though, Michael Bay did his best to ruin that movie. Shakey Cam car chases sucked. And he did not make the best use of Sean Connery. But still, all in all, not a bad Nic Cage effort.

  • Otto T

    I still have no idea what Batman 2 is.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    I was thinking R. Kelly’s Gotham City song from the end credits should have been Nolan’s Harvey Dent campaign song.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I was just thinking earlier today: if you don’t like Whiplash at all you probably hate movies.

  • Niccageshair

    Have it DVR’d which means I’ll probably watch it in about 5 months. Only award movie from last year I haven’t seen.

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    This is the better Whiplash though. And probably where they got the title. Lars all the way baby. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJv8sY2CxZA

  • Sully

    Red Dragon, in your opinion, better or worse than Manhunter?

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    Well, it depends how much you enjoy CSI.
    Is it Silence of the Lambs?… nope
    Is it better than Red Dragon.. well the Last Airbender is better than Red Dragon….

  • Joe Syxpac

    Hell no!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I have programming on my DVR from five years ago. Un-watched programming. Such megabyte, much sadness.

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    What makes Silence of the Lambs a good movie. Answer Clarice Starling.

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    sorry Hopkins, it wasn’t you, now for the love of god stop hamming it up in that role.

  • Noah R.

    That would be my mother.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Your mother hates movies more than my ex girlfriend Jennifer Love Hewitt hates me.

  • Noah R.

    Debatable.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    As a non-fan of Burton (Batman Returns, Planet of the Apes and Mars Attacks suck balls) Edward Scissorhands is one of his good ones. It’s no Ed Wood, but good enough.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Anthony Hopkins is great in Silence of the Lambs. Less so in any of this other Lecter movies. In Hannibal and Red Dragon it’s like he is making a caricature of his own performance in Lambs. I will agree that, to me at least, Jodie Foster and Ted Levine (of Cleared for Takeoff fame!) are the MVPs of that movie.

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    Lots of people do rate Ed Wood. I haven’t seen that either. I will put that on my list.

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    Agreed with this.

  • Noah R.

    I hate to be the one to break the news to you Phantom… But, you like bewbs.

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    Bewbs rule the world Chewy.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    – Bigger pieces in smaller quantities

    Luckily they have been getting out of that recently. The castle stuff is a great point of comparison. When they had those colorful hero knights with names and all, those were the awkward years of Lego. http://lego.brickinstructions.com/08000/8786/002.jpg

    Lego Star Wars is mainly sold with minifigures now, which of course appeals to the adult collectors. You know, when they finally get the long awaited Max Rebo minifig (Who admittedly is adorable: http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/lego/images/d/de/MaxRebo2013.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20130907214120)

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I mean, I’m no expert. That’s just as far as I know.

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    But before we get off Batman. That detective in Burton’s Batman, the detective with the gruff voice, and the over sized detective costume, like something you find in a high school stage production, with that cigar. He is interviewed early on by Bassinger’s sidekick. He… is a fucking joke. and easily one of the worst things in a bad movie.

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    and then you got the ”gun sound effects” which are laugh out loud. pathetic.
    you got the jokers minions chasing the batmobile and just shooting randomly in the air, in one of the worst car chase scenes ever committed to film. man that movie is soo sooo sooo bad… like epic fucking bad lol.. god dam how the fuck seriously.. how the FCUK do people like that shit lol

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I forgot to add Alice in Wonderland to that mini-list of Burton’s worst. That movie is awful too.

  • bleurgh

    The movie has a lot of problems. I don’t know why people treat it as the best of the original series.

  • bleurgh

    Edward Scissorhands is probably his richest movie thematically and the most cleverly made, then he became a style over substance machine. There’s a lot of thought put into everything in that movie, even the colour-scheme of the houses is making a larger point about the inescapable bland boringness of suburban America.

  • bleurgh

    I love Norton when he’s in a good film. Fight Club, The Painted Veil and the 25th Hour are all great movies.

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    let me just say, The Joker literally has a gun, a gun that when he pulls the trigger, a little flag comes out that says ”bang”… beware of people who say to take the movie seriously, because they are full of shit

  • bleurgh

    Hey, do you remember the Electra movie that spun off rom Daredevil? I think I was the only person who watched it.

    IT SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKED!

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    yeah I do recall some funky cinematography. but I cant remember the movie that much. I’m pretty sure though I did like it. But I cant swear to it yet. On my things to do list though, is rewatch it.

  • bleurgh

    All the Swamp Thing movies are so bad they’re good.

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    but not in Red Dragon. Mainly because Jodie Foster was just that dam good. But, don’t worry Edward Norton… Julianne Moore trying to be Jodie foster, did suck too.

  • I think Family International made many versions of it. Still waiting for a swedish one.

  • I thought Ralph Fiennes was more than fine in Red Dragon.

  • Red Skeleton

    0_o

  • Only Nolan’s Joker is boring enough not to do that and use the pencil trick instead.

  • -_o

  • o_0

  • instant relief

    Obvious troll is obvious… ly retarded.

  • -_-

  • Red Skeleton

    Well I’m obviously not going to change any minds here but I really enjoy that film. Tim Burton is such a visual director, the film is never boring to look at… deliberately hideous, yes, but never boring.
    There’s one shot where the Joker is making his death gas or whatever in a factor and it’s shot and tilted just like an episode of the 1960’s Batman but it’s not rubbing your face in it. THAT, Shoemaker, is how you pay homage to 1960’s Batman, not by making everything comedy.

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    😛

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    Gas the city, like we haven’t seen THAT before…

  • instant relief

    (_x_)

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    Nolan sucks anyway, let’s face it bro.

  • 0_0

  • instant relief

    Yeah, who would ever seriously try to gas people to death. That’s stupid, mein Herr.

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    (.)(.)

  • Red Skeleton

    I like the scene where Bruce Wayne, the Joker, and Bassenger are all in a room together and you have to ask “who knows who everyone else is?” There’s no clear answer but I like to think Joker knew who Bruce Wayne was all along, hence the little wave he gives him when they briefly cross paths at City Hall (?)

  • ヽ(◉◡◔)ノ

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    Hitler was interesting though.

  • (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    we know who Bruce Wayne is, he is a boring nothing played by Keaton who was boring and did nothing.

  • Red Skeleton

    Oh by the way, fun fact for those of you who still associate me with that Red Skull guy: Apparently Red Skull killed Peter Parker’s parents. So that mean *I* killed Peter Parker’s parents… if I were supposed to be that guy.

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    but bro you still chopped your OWN hand off, so that is a winning move, but still points off for not going all the way and doing the world a favor by taking out Tobey MaGuire too.

  • instant relief

    You googled that, admit it!

  • Nah dude, I typed it on the numberpad of my laptop.

  • instant relief

    You’re so awesome! Let’s just communicate via compiler code from now on!

  • (*°∀°)=3

  • instant relief

    I never understood these Japanese emojis. They all look like Kirby is throwing up.

  • Red Skeleton

    I keep telling you people, it was a freak saluting accident! The 1990’s documentary about… Red Skull’s life apparently thought cutting one’s hand off was less stupid than losing it while saluting the Fuhrur while riding a rollercoaster.

  • Doctor John Smith

    *Who?

  • Which makes perfect sense why they are Japanese emoticons.

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    it’s the food man, nobody can eat sushi, and not throw that shit up, have you seen it? the shit is still moving on the plate.

  • You know, if you can get away with getting credit for someone else’s actions as yours, just own it.

  • This place is full of cool Baneter.

  • Some of it is admirable but mistaken.

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    that’s cause I’m here bro.

  • Red Skeleton

    Sooooo…. my three-year-old son just sealed himself up inside an airtight plastic box…. let’s hope Darwin was full of shit.

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    Schindler’s List. Thanks Spielberg, we really don’t have enough movies about that topic. Thank you for boring the shit out of me with things we HAVE ALL SEEN before. But hey the dumb guys out there liked it, and you gave Qui Gon Jinn something to do. But then again Liam Nesson sucks ass, so yeah thank you and fuck you for that. Please Hollywood no more movies about ww2 we get it, it sucked, move on.

  • Red Skeleton

    Do your boobs get in the way when you type?

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    no, my boobs actually type for me

  • Doctor John Smith

    Well its been 12 minutes… hows he doing getting back out?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Are you living in the past?

  • The Phantom Jawsdice

    was Plinkett

  • Red Skeleton

    ……………. brb.

  • Uh-oh, I think Red might have got stuck too. Should we send for help?

  • Noah R.

    I think sometimes they DO the actual typing.

  • Red Skeleton

    Another one bites the dust? Or is Jawnise Milani like Andrew, with more lives than a Space Cat?

  • Red Skeleton

    Uh, you’re a doctor, right?

  • Red Skeleton

    When did we start calling them emojis and not emoticons?

  • Red Skeleton

    Somebody linked to a click bait article, and you won’t BELIEVE what I did next!

  • Red Skeleton

    …. Erm, I didn’t read it.

  • Noah R.

    R.I.P in peace Phantom…

  • Red Skeleton
  • Noah R.

    Naw, the one who used to be here. The one with big bewbies.

  • Red Skeleton

    Oh…. how do you get Phantom from his name?

  • Noah R.

    Wasn’t that his middle name? Jawnise Phantom *lastname*…. I don’t remember, but it sounds right.

  • Red Skeleton

    Jawnise Phantom Milani? Is that a joke I’m not getting? It’s as good as anything else anyway.

  • Like Icare

    I’m not sure it’s possible to see that movie.
    I fell asleep while trying to watch it just to see how much they’ve ruined it.

    But you don’t have to try to watch it – just compare the trailers.

    One of these two is what a DD movie should look like. The other one is the one they made with Routh.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbQaRP0m2HE
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCeLIa02iy0

  • Noah R.

    I don’t know. It’s nearly 4 AM where I live, I’m about to fall asleep sitting here and I’m trying to make sense of something online. Stop expecting so much out of me!

  • Joe Syxpac

    I just went back and watched the HitB episode about the first Sinister movie, which I never saw, in preparation for not watching the new Sinister 2 movie.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yes.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Every Jaws after the second one was just shit.

  • Don’t you mean: “Smile, you son of a bitch”?

    http://i.imgur.com/8r25T4t.gif

  • So, I’ve finally watched Tron Legacy. It was alright.

  • Red Skeleton

    Wow, photoshop one of Delise Milani’s inflated boobs over the air tank and that’d be perfect.

  • Noah R.

    I just rewatched Jaws a little over a week ago while on a cruise. It wasn’t the most comforting movie to watch while surrounded by water but it was worth it for that scene.

  • janisgdemko

    ♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪

    ::::::::
    :::::::::::::::::::

    ➽➽➽➽ Tinyurl.com/Start26xApplyCareers18f
    …………………………………,……….,……………..,………..,.,,……………………………………………………………………….,…………………….
    F0R WORK INFO LOOK NEXT TAB IN PAGE WEBSITE
    ♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪

  • tOmy`

    And friendly bartenders.

  • Weltmeister

    I don’t see how Darwin fits in here. 3 years old and alone in a box. I don’t see how he can produce another generation which would be able to addept to their new oxygen less environment before he runs out of breath. -.-
    On the other hand I believe in Gott, and my King Wilhelm alone. If the Brits believe their forefathers were monkeys…quite possible 😉

  • Sully

    That film is the best theological analogy for God, the Devil, the creation of Mankind, and Christ I’ve ever seen.

  • Sully

    Yes, which is WHY IT’S ON MY LIST, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

  • Sully

    I think you’re thinking *Schrödinger.

  • Sully

    I give upvotes to you… the people.

  • Sully

    Hey, did Jaws like Red Dragon more or less than Manhunter? I never got to see his reply.

  • Weltmeister

    Liked the creepy vibes and the depiction of children as the “active” force in a family drama not the passive victim they are portrayed everywhere else. I almost cheered for them. Only the ending was not that satisfying. Too sudden.

  • If the Bible was anything like that, I’d be a believer.

  • In memory of Jaws’ juicy bazookas. http://i.imgur.com/3o9KW4k.gifv

  • Jawsinator 69

    shit dude, that’s fucking cool, very nice.

  • Uh… I’m gonna have to go with no.

  • Red Skeleton

    Works for me!

  • Red Skeleton

    No but that works too.

  • Red Skeleton

    I meant more in terms of his propensity for destroying himself before he is able to breed.

  • Jawsinator 69
  • Weltmeister

    There are christians…and there are christians. You have fundamentalistic weirdos who take the bible word for word, talking about earth is 4000 years old spreading fanatism. And there are other people extracting valuable lessons for their community, the way the book is meant to be used and just try to be better human beeings without declare science or other religions a product of satan. There is even no hell fire in the real christian believes.

  • Jawsinator 69

    so basically, every believer, in their own way, highlights the things they agree with as a means of reinforcing their own world view.

  • Weltmeister

    Didn’t know about the “destroying himself before breed” theory. o0
    google! Come here!

  • Aaand… “We’re gonna need a bigger boat”.
    http://i.imgur.com/InQdbMK.gifv

  • Jawsinator 69

    dun dun…….. dun dun…… dun dun dun dun

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Snyder’s just gonna Frank Miller-ize him. Make him all bitter and grumpy. Give him a romance with Wonder Woman. I actually think this Batman is an extension of Nolan’s pouty Batman. So, you get your wish, sorta.

    Then he and Supermonster will hug it out, but probably not until the first Justice League movie, because I’m betting they kill Supermonster in tis upcoming one. You know, for shocks and awes.

    I’m hoping Affleck’s stand-alones can be prequels and/or out-of-this-cinematic-continuity, because I’m sick of cranky Batman. I’d like young, virile, detective Batman for at least one or two more movies, please.

  • Jawsinator 69

    hot isn’t she 😛

  • Was it the one with the Baghul problem?

  • Weltmeister

    No not really. Some people tend to use passages for their own egoistic purposes completly out of context. Another big thing is to believe the Bible itself is the Holy Word. It is a theoretical thing but means ultimatly the Bible is more important than god himself. You cannot “discuss” that as a christian. There is no middle way. It is wrong.

  • Well, lots of Christian philosophers argued what the Bible really meant. Each believed their own interpretation was true. Some of them labelled it as faith as a means of understanding but whatever.

  • Jawsinator 69

    Well it makes for some good music/movie ideas. The Ten Commandments is a great flick.

  • Chewie, go home. To bed.

  • Sully

    …and then there are “Christians” (i.e. perfect Jews). Those who remain faithful to judaic teachings, while understanding, and taking to heart Christ’s viewpoint on the separation of temple and faith; the Ethic of Reciprocity Jew; the ones who would never call themselves “Christians”; the ones who understand Christ was just a man with some valuable insight, who lived, practiced, and died for what he preached; the ones who know that Christ isn’t some magical Get Out Of Hell Free card, but instead is just a teacher, a guide down one of many paths, but believe Christ’s path best embodies the path they’d like to take.

    Those people are rare though. Most people aren’t comfortable in their faith unless it allows them room to hate.

    Nothing about Christ was divine until circa 350 A.D., and he’s gotten increasingly more divine as time has passed, as the Bible was written and rewritten again and again over the centuries; the latest changes as early as the 1940s-50s.

  • tOmy`

    “Controversial headline? Maybe. But according to a recent study, Czechs espouse the most tolerant attitudes towards some of the world’s most morally controversial topics.”

    Basically, we are all sick perverts.

  • Sully

    Which is the biggest issue, isn’t it. There are many paths to salvation, but all of those paths are paved with the same stones.

  • Weltmeister

    Theology is a form of science because it works with methods and without “bending” theories for their purposes. That’s why I can take it more seriously and find it worth of thinking about it.

  • Jawsinator 69

    ”Long Forgotten Movies”

    Hannibal. (2001)
    Staring,
    Julianne Moore as a lame Jodie Foster
    Anthony Hopkins as A Ham
    Ray Liotta as A very far cry from his glory days in Goodfellas
    Directed by,
    Ridley ”what the fuck was I thinking” Scott

    Dear Ray Liotta, when the script said that ‘Anthony Hopkins was like eating your brains’ dude, seriously, you really should’ve known better.

  • Sully
  • Sully

    Remember Hannibal Rising?

  • Jawsinator 69

    nobody does lol

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Although with caution, I’d still dock.

  • Sully

    I’ve got a Baghul problem in my basement. The exterminator’s coming between 10am and 4pm to spray down the area and the foundation of the house.

  • tOmy`

    I would man the harpoon as well. She definitely looks like a great… white.

  • Sully

    *wet

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Racist!

  • Jawsinator 69

    yum

  • Jawsinator 69

    well you had me until ”science”

  • Weltmeister

    Your words maybe are wasted on me. Because atheist. I just find it curious what I found out about these people. It is the most healthy form of christianiy there ever will be I believe. And yes they even talked about Jesus (Yeshua) was a jew. It is an important fact here in my country (Germany) to be reminded of it. And necessary to know otherwise you cannot understand his stories or his live. Funny fact: His mother thought about him as a crazy person. When you are around people who can laugh about that I think that is not a bad sign.

  • Jawsinator 69

    Following Amsterdam then. All you need now is John Lennon smoking a big ass doobie and singing bout world peace. But then again folks like that don’t come about too often.

  • Jawsinator 69

    we should light a campfire, and everybody should hold hands and sing Kumbaya

  • Sully
  • Jawsinator 69

    haha thats good

  • We need more sick perverts like you. Czech swinger parties are the best. Coolio knows that.

  • Be careful, Y.K. Kim! http://31.media.tumblr.com/734321c1f9f9f66dbf9eefbebab6d8e3/tumblr_mza4joR1UT1rpc5kho1_500.gif

    Well, at least it wasn’t Megan Fox in Jennifer’s Body.

  • Sully

    He should’ve waited 5-7 days before goin’ in.

  • Weltmeister

    Red Skeleton? o0

  • Jawsinator 69

    well apart from him

  • Weltmeister

    I don’t want to know the details. We have all our little secrets 😉

  • Amontillado

    Brody couldn’t believe his eyes, several days at sea stuck on a boat with a drunk Scottish loon and a neurotic New Yorker with an oversized ego had put him to the brink. There was Jaws, a glistening jewel that Brody was now ready to embrace, if only to end the pain, that terrible audible pain filled with drunken guffawing and talks of the New Yorker.

  • Amontillado

    Dude, did you knock on the sky and listen for the sound?

  • Amontillado
  • Like Icare

    Ugh… Shit… I should charge money for being able to predict the future or something.

    Without googling I KNEW that “some of the world’s most morally controversial topics” was bullshit slang for “American Religious Conservatives find this important and controversial”.

    “Important and controversial” topics like: contraception, booze, fucking before marriage, gayness, playing Bingo or betting on the ponies, cheating on a spouse, abortion and *shudder* DIVORCE.
    http://www.pewglobal.org/2014/04/15/global-morality/

    Seriously… can we just stop with psychology studies and send them all back to school to relearn basics of logic and what is cheating and how it is bad?
    Also, reforms in scientific publishing are SORELY needed.

    From “scientific journals” basically stealing the knowledge of humanity and then charging people money for it… and we’re talking more profitable than owning gold mines here…
    http://www.theguardian.com/science/2015/aug/14/australian-academics-seek-to-challenge-web-of-avarice-in-scientific-publishing
    To results disappearing when researchers are required to follow just a minimum of basic scientific criteria.
    http://www.nature.com/news/registered-clinical-trials-make-positive-findings-vanish-1.18181

    In the case above the basic hypothesis is tainted with the idea of universal morality based on ideas of religious conservatives.
    And so we get biased bullshit conclusions like “Generally, African and predominantly Muslim countries tend to find most
    of these activities morally unacceptable, while in advanced economies,
    such as those in Western Europe, Japan, and North America, people tend
    to be more accepting or to not consider these moral issues at all.”

    When back in reality USA and Uganda are mere 4 percentage points away from each other on issues of cheating (USA being greater prudes) while there is a only a 3 percentage points difference between Turkey and USA on issues of abortion.
    Meanwhile, Germans are looking at ALL of them and taking a step back, away from those savages.

    TL.DR: Instead of establishing that morality is dictated by mores of society and that different things are immoral/moral in different places/cultures – we get a “muzzies and niggers are fuckin stone age animals – west is the best” explanation of the study.

  • Amontillado

    Shhhh – don’t talk about PreRec here, you know how Mike gets when he even so much as gets a whiff of it

  • Jawsinator 69

    contraception, booze, fucking before marriage, gayness, playing Bingo
    or betting on the ponies, cheating on a spouse, abortion and *shudder*
    DIVORCE. these are controversial?

  • Weltmeister

    I knew it. They HAVE played Outlast! Thanksa alotsa Boss Ness!

  • Bubs

    The worst part of Outlast was when it ended. I had so much fun with that game that I immediately bought the expac. It really captures that horror movie feel that very few horror video games accomplish. I give it 4.5 kitties out of 5.

  • Jawsinator 69
  • Like Icare

    No. That’s history and archeology.

    Theology will gladly polish the turd and pretend to do science when all it does is merely running in circles around the hole in its logic, dug there in order to be able to ignore the fallacy of its basic premise.

    I.e. When faux-philosophy is removed all that remains is circular logic around the preaccepted premise of “There is a God and you can’t question that because it is unquestionable”.

    Cause IF you question that and it is no longer “theology” any more than the talk about Mayan temples and human sacrifices is. Or the tales of Hercules, son of Zeus and a mortal woman.
    Or those about Cthulhu.

  • Like Icare

    If you’re a religious conservative they are.

  • Amontillado

    For shits and giggles, I present to you a better than bubble wrap, more high than weed, more fun than petting a kitten experience: the Macho Man Randy Savage sound board http://www.realmofdarkness.net/pc/sb/wrestling/machoman/1

  • Red Skeleton

    Never heard of the Darwin awards?

  • Red Skeleton

    Or Social Darwinism? Same concept.

  • Jawsinator 69

    tru dat

  • Sully
  • fred

    Straight Outta Compton is dooope as fuck

  • I played some GTA: San Andreas in honor of NWA.

  • It took them over 7 minutes to actually launch the game properly.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    How likely are you to purchase Jimmy Dean™ Pancake & Sausage on a stick?
    Select one answer

    Definitely will
    Probably will
    May or may not
    Probably will not
    Definitely will not

  • Sully
  • Definitely will not.
    I don’t eat meat or paper that poses as meat.

  • Sully

    “What is ‘Fuck No‘, Alex?”

  • tOmy`

    Good to know, I am looking forward to see it in our cinemas! Lemme check the program…

    Barbie Rock’n’Royal
    Fantastic Four
    Fantastic Four with dubbing
    Pixels
    Pixels 3D
    Little Dragon
    TED 2
    Minions
    Oooops, Noah Is Gone
    And something for Tapey: Rytmus: Sídliskový Sen

    Well… fuck me, right?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    The “One Question Site Survey” is rather limited in its options.
    Vote now to see the results!

  • Weltmeister

    I had my serious discussion for the day. 😉
    “Bier – Mädel” mode now!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Even if it’s on a stick? Convenience and flavor(u)r! (But mostly Convenience!)

    *Flavo(u)r is not available in all areas.

  • Jawsinator 69

    Question: What is the greatest TV show of all time. Answer: Jake and the Fatman

  • Weltmeister

    I refuse to talk with you about that one more time. Remember the Adam, Eve and Snake thing? Didn’t worked very well. It may even be contraproductiv because I’m myself an atheist and confuse some details. And we are here on redletter media…. the place to have fun with friends! 😉 “Bier-Mädel” mode now!

  • Bubs

    Probably will not – Sorry I’m already fat and lazy enough. I’m American after all.

  • Like Icare

    It beats the book.

    There Clarise and Hannibun run away together and he becomes her “Edward”, if you know what I mean.

  • Jawsinator 69

    oh god lol

  • tOmy`

    “It makes me sick, motherfucker, how far we done fell.” – Bunk

  • Weltmeister

    hey thats great!

  • Sully

    Wrong! It’s Manimal. Everyone knows that.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ugb_TIpPoWA

  • Jawsinator 69

    would you believe I love Lucy

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Question: Were Jake or The Fatman ever on an episode of The Love Boat? Answer: No. Therefore, their status is being re-evaluated.

  • Sully

    Fine. “Definitely Willn’t.

  • I’m gonna go with The A-Team or Knight Rider.

  • Jawsinator 69

    hell yeah

  • Jawsinator 69

    Love Boat now ya talkin

  • Joe Syxpac

    Holy shit!

    I was totally gonna say that too!

  • Sully

    That’s because you, like I, know what’s up.

  • Like Icare

    You could still purchase it as a gift or a torture device.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Was that the one with Gary Oldman as a Hemorrhoid?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    No, but I do dream of Jeanie.

  • Joe Syxpac

    I mean, it was either that or BJ and the Bear.

  • Jawsinator 69

    i never knew that, i think i saw it before gary oldman was a thing.

  • One of these days, Jawsie, straight to the moon. http://www.screeninsults.com/images/the-honeymooners-pow2.jpg

    #SpousalAbuseIsNotFunny

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I always forget which one gave the blow jobs. BJ was the chimp, right?

  • Joe Syxpac

    Nope, the chimp was Bear.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Gary Oldman’s been a thing since SID & NANCY, man.

  • Both!

    #IDon’tMissAndrew
    #2soon

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    So, Bear gave the bjs?

  • Jawsinator 69
  • Joe Syxpac

    I’m pretty sure it was anal.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I think I remember he gets eaten by pigs.

  • Jawsinator 69

    back when tv shows had great theme tunes.

  • Jawsinator 69

    ahh the classics

  • tOmy`

    “There you go. Givin’ a fuck when it ain’t your turn to give a fuck.” – Bunk

  • Jawsinator 69

    and then he jumps the shark

  • Sully

    *Bananal

    Pound Sign: WorstEverHumorAttempt

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Same thing as The Fatman then?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    When I have Gotham’s ass, then you have my permission to die.

  • Like Icare

    Hey! Look! It’s Mike!

  • Like Icare

    You forgot Masters of the Universe.
    From the creator of Thor 2, Thor 3 and the upcoming Smash HIT! Max Steel and the company that brought you eye cancer – SONY!

    http://variety.com/2015/film/news/he-man-masters-of-the-universe-christopher-yost-writer-1201573946/

  • Cesky Sen? [pardon the lack of diacritics]

  • tOmy`

    “We ain’t gotta dream no more, man.” – Stinger

  • Jawsinator 69

    who is in Jaws 3D as it happens

  • Like Icare
  • Doctor John Smith

    Fox News. Its the best parody of news i have ever seen.

  • Jawsinator 69

    Bill O’Reilly knows who’s doin the raping

  • tOmy`

    It is Slovakia’s response to Kanye West. He used to be good, then money came and now he is just an obnoxious, sell-out douchebag.

    Back in the day, he was part of Kontrafakt – they even made a song with your very own WWO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFH2CpH_ols

  • Red Skeleton
  • Like Icare

    “One more time”? I don’t even remember the “one time”!

  • Doctor John Smith

    Is the answer Bill O’Reilly?

  • Joe Syxpac

    The Fatman had nothin on this sure fire spinoff.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPE2ySTIGRM

  • If you squint your eye just right… http://i.imgur.com/vqkriKm.jpg

  • Jawsinator 69

    ding ding ding… it’s a new carr !
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQ0BXUkzRqM

  • tOmy`

    “Well, you see, Mike-Mike thought he should keep that cocaine he was slingin’ and the money he was makin’ from slingin’ it. I thought otherwise.” – Omar

  • Jawsinator 69

    awesome

  • I like how the very first verse in the verse is ‘kurwo’. Way to go, guys! Really classy.

  • tOmy`

    Full disclosure: I love that track. I love that album.

  • Full disclosure: I really don’t know all that much about Polish hip hop. I stopped caring in the late 90s early 00s around when Kaliber 44 and Paktofonika were a thing. Not sure how well known they are in your place but they were our Cypress Hill during their Temple of Boom years (really psychedelic).

  • Jawsinator 69

    ”Everybody’s probably already seen it.”

    Entertainment Weekly, the Force Awakens photo shoot.

    Domhnall Gleeson as General Hux, a cruel leader of The First Order who craves to show the galaxy his might.

    …..sigh (lol)

    Art imitates Life, oh no, it’s Admiral Bonetopick

    …face palm.

  • Palpatine

    Screw that, let’s talk about the worst TV shows ever.

  • tOmy`

    Sons of Anarchy.

  • Jawsinator 69

    well that would require a thousand page epic rant, but I’m up for it if you are

  • Palpatine

    Wow, really?

  • Palpatine

    Fire away.

  • Jawsinator 69

    Muppet babies, and Tiny Toons, and anything that is baby related. for a start.

  • Weltmeister

    Yeah I know. Everyone cries about palpy and omit….but whats about DarkFluffy I wonder 😉 You know that cool guy with the sheep angel manga avatar. With the bored look. God how long I have been looked for that piece of art. -_-

  • tOmy`

    I really do think so. There is a shitload of very bad shows, but only this one went from “pretty fucking great” through “hilariously stupid” to “holy shit, I can’t believe it is this awful” within few seasons.

    It is racist, misogynistic, poorly shot, absolutely not thought-through, itself denying, humanity defying abortion that is pretending to be a work of art. And that is the thing I hate the most:

    When you have a stupid show, fine. When you have absolute shitfest of stupidity and you put a “for thinking man” ribbon on it and try to feed it to masses that, absurdly, eat that shit to the point where they accept that there is a ghost who is Death and main massmurdering protagonist is basically Jesus (I shit you not), then I am really calling “WORST”.

  • Jawsinator 69

    Friends, Alley mcbeal, murphy brown, everybody loves raymond, and other shitcoms, that use that formula, that just fail.

  • bleurgh

    Wasn’t the book a cynical attempt to kill the franchise by the author who resented having to write a sequel for some reason? I remember hearing that somewhere. Don’t know how true it is.

  • So far art has been irritating life. At least when it comes to Star Wars. Though I’m not exactly sure, the Prequels can be called art.

  • Jawsinator 69

    i dont know, i had faith, until i saw that character, General Hux, and then i see m night shyamalan all over again.

  • Like Bigfoot and Wildboy?

  • Robotpals

    Baby steps next Best of the Worst, baby steps next Best of the Worst…

  • Palpatine

    The Prequels can be considered fart.

  • bleurgh

    The soundtrack and, David Bowie guy and Jeff Bridges were good. Everything else in that movie was a bland slice of bland blandness.

  • Which reminds me that I had pizza for dinner again. *farts*

  • Weltmeister

    no! The Hoff is legend! At least here…. 😉 A- Team is also watchable. Question: Did they actually “hit” somebody with their gunfire in the original not cut version? Because here they just make holes in the air… what is funny in itself somehow. Iconic you could say^^

  • Just to be clear, this was my response to the best tv series.

  • Jawsinator 69

    you mean Harry and the Hendersons

  • Weltmeister

    Clank HYPE!!!!!!!!!!

  • bleurgh

    YOU ADDED THAT IN LATER! ADMIT IT!

  • Weltmeister

    let me try one more time…. :/

  • Jawsinator 69

    haha love it

  • Watch a full episode. Really. You’ll loathe it.

  • bleurgh

    Medium was sooooooo bad that my family and I used to watch it just to make fun of it. Also, the Ghost Whisperer, but that was so formulaic that it became unfun very quickly.

    I’m pretty sure that one of the major plot developments in one of those shows is that her husband who has been with her since the beginning of the series was a ghost the whole time. Pretty sure it was the Ghost Whisperer.

  • Jawsinator 69

    we need more shows like this lol

  • Sully

    NEVER!! IT WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME!!!

    *seriously. It was there the whole time.

  • Try The Secrets of Isis.

  • Jaws Cosby

    will do

  • Palpatine

    Or any show from those fuckers Sid and Marty Kroft.

  • Palpatine
  • bleurgh

    I skimmed your list and missed it then. My apologies.

  • The Jaws and The Sharkless

    Dear RLM, be nice, bring back the exiled.
    Yours, Jaws.

  • Sully

    IT’S COMPLETELY FI– er, I mean… It’s completely fine.

    *straightens tie, giving an awkward nod*

    Now if you’ll excuse me, Jaws is posting titties somewhere on this webzone.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I said before but it’s sad and funny at the same time how in PreRec it’s the people who aren’t gamers that are able to make the streams enjoyable(jay,jessi,mike,josh)

  • The Jaws and The Sharkless

    Keanu Marathon…

    Bill and Ted: Great
    Bill and Ted 2: Great
    Point Break: Great
    ======================
    Bram Stoker’s Dracula: hehe no seriously…..
    Speed: Not Bad, Dennis Hopper is good for a laugh.
    The Matrix: Everybody loves it, but meh, I guess you had to be there…
    The Day the Earth Stood Still: Oh god lol
    Generation Um: Tell me it isn’t true, please no, never again.

    Dear Keanu, can we just stop at Point Break and pretend nothing that came after that ever existed.

  • LameSame

    As much as I like you, Nic Cage’s hair, I’m going to be honest and admit I’m more a fan of Nic’s big, expressive, buggy eyes. It’s nothing personal!

  • Domo

    But John Wick came after Point Break, and Keanu Reeves’ botox looks great in that film!

  • instant relief

    My hate crime-ish posts (though satire obviously) never got me banned so far, but a beautiful cock apparently destroys worlds.

  • instant relief
  • bleurgh

    A Scanner Darkly is great imo

  • Like Icare

    Hey! Don’t knock Keanu. That man is a saint.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMB1EOnUwX8

  • Like Icare

    Does it rhyme with “sucks” or “cooks”?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    That part with Lecter eating Liotta’s brain. I still don’t know if that scene was meant to be comedic, or what? It certainly wasn’t scary, shocking or disgusting.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Requiem pax Omitium. Illegitimi non carborundum.

  • I wonder if every Poison Ivy action figure actually came complete with Bane…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iW5_79itQ3U

    Oh, I guess not then…THIS MOVIE SUCKS.

  • Weltmeister

    technically alot could be called art. You just need a guy to explaine “the message”. Dali was pretty extreme and pushed that concept to the limit.

  • Evertale

    It’s not exactly stylistically designed to be that way… but any unwanted effects can be diminished by pretty lights and colours.

  • Snake Squeezer

    Meh… Would have rather have had a Straight Outta Compton review… Check your privilege you hack frauds…

  • Percy Gryce

    John Wick was a perfectly acceptable Bond/Bourne knock-off/revenge/action movie.

  • instant relief

    How do you know? Maybe he killed everybody on that train afterwards.

  • Domo

    Oh I love that film! It’s a great alternative to what’s out on the market currently.

  • instant relief

    Got a picture of you beside me. Got your lipstick mark still on my coffee cup. Oh, yeah.

  • Noah R.

    Bewbs are back!

  • Brack to the Future

    I’m petitioning Hollywood to start a new show called Fake and the Jackman. It’s an insider’s view of famous leading men and the beards they marry!

  • DarkFluffy

    the one is freedom of speech the other thing protecting children from “inapropiate foto material”. A US- thing.

    Swastikas are ok. Naked tits are not. As if children have not a good memory or nazi ideology would only work in adult minds (“Hitler youth”!).

  • Brack to the Future

    How else would people know they’re simply teeth on a cog attached to a very expensive wheel that operates the sluice to a sewer called DOW?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Every Squeeze song ever.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Mike, you may have gone too far in a few places.

  • Ben

    The bit where all the bad guys go “WTF?” while Clooney’s Batman skates along the dinosaur’s spine was definitely the best part.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I had something similar to Pizza Rolls last week. They were amazing. I felt the deep connection to Mr. Plinkett showing itself from the depths of my being.

    And then I farted.

  • Schwhashtikas*

  • I meant to say less. Manhunter was more boring. He didn’t compare Lecters, AFAIK.

  • Palpatine

    Also, swastikas were not made by the Nazi’s like the communist hammer and sickle, hundreds of different cultures have used the swastika.

  • While true I hate when that fact is frequently used by neo-nazis to defend themselves and their symbols in court.

  • DarkFluffy
  • DarkFluffy

    maybe they should be called differently. The “evil” swastika is originally called “Hakenkreuz”. If we would keep the german name like in “3. Reich” instead “3. Empire” there would be no confusion.

  • *speaking with a drunken slur*
    Oh. It’s you! Look at you, mr bigshot director. Mr Hollywood. Mr, I don’t need you anymore cus I’m a star…
    *voice gets agressive*
    Let me tell you something. You take your Canadian bacon and go back to your bi-lingual country and stay there.
    *tightens fist, tries to punch computerscreen, falls over, starts sobbing*
    Owmaigaawd! I don’t do anything with my life exept comment here. Owmaigaawd!
    *fade to black, gunshot*

  • Palpatine

    Why didn’t you use a big boomer bomb to kill yourself?

  • Domo

    When you punched your computer screen, did green blood get everywhere? Is that harder to clean up than red blood? Do you need a special Resolve Oxi-clean activated carpet stain remover, or does the regular stain remover work better?

    I mean, your blood should be green, right? Because your skin is green, just like Yoda!

  • Like Icare

    Someone in the comments said so. Maybe it was the pope. We can’t know.
    Ergo, he is a saint.

  • Like Icare

    As it was mentioned earlier in the comments, now she cums with Harley.

    Pretty soon and all those stories about Batman and Robin being more than just partners in fighting crime will be canonized too.

  • Joe333

    I find Chain Reaction to be an underrated movie
    Liked John Wick as well

  • Like Icare

    It’s a shlocky revenge fantasy that embraces its shlock (represented by secret crime societies where people pay for services with gold coins, cops just go “oh, you just killed a bunch of assassins – nothing for us to do then” and cleanup crews come to your door to haul away the bodies) – and thus it works.

    Unlike that other vigilante fantasy which came out at the same time, that tried to convince us of its supposed realism – while Denzel went around slowing down time like it was 1999 and he was in the Matrix.

  • instant relief

    If you leave me now, you’ll take away the biggest part of me.
    Ooohh, no, baby please don’t go.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Icey.. check your midichlorians, if we cool it at stage 1 we can freeze its affects

  • instant relief

    It is spelled ‘Schweineschnitzel’.

  • instant relief

    Btw. I will need to motorboat your tits again.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Anything by Sid and Marty Krofft gives me he hibbie-jibbies.

  • That’s how Rich Evans Almighty pronounces it. https://youtu.be/3plH6M1LadY?t=16m36s

  • Sully

    Well fuck, Maggit.
    But thanks for responding.

  • Sully

    Don’t worry. You’ll be dead soon.

  • Sully

    …and by few, I mean start to finish.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Una paloma blanca, I’m just a bird in the sky.

  • Sully

    Why not Kid BJ and the Pedo-Bear?

  • Sully

    The question is, do you sound like Cetera when you sing?
    The answer is “No.” No one sounds like Cetera.

  • Palpatine

    Is that for Omitted?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Which one? Burton’s with The Riddler or Schumacher’s with The Scarecrow? (Both were rumo(u)red at different times. Seems somebody liked that horrible title enough to keep it around for several years and two completely different treatments.)

    Let’s see…Robin Williams as The Riddler, plus Burton’s weirdness vs. Jeff Goldblum as The Scarecrow (yes, his name was attached for a minute) with Schumacher’s homoerotica.

    I’mma gonna go with…Both.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    It was done all-SIN CITY style. Stars a bunch of people you’ve never heard of again and Samuel L. Jackson. I think ScarJo is in it, too.

    Never saw it. Will Eisner’s comic, however, is supposed to be great.

  • You’ll feel guwoilt tomorrow.

  • its called bleach

    a scanner darkly has the most masterful casting ive ever seen in a movie

  • Bubs

    Is it possible that aliens came to earth in the past and helped to build the pyramids? The answer, is of course. a resounding YES!

    http://www.hindustantimes.com/Images/popup/2014/3/aliens.jpg

  • Noah R.

    Sounds like a good time to me!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Mitchell Nash died of MacGregor’s Syndrome at age I don’t give a fuck.

  • Noah R.

    Oh fuck! Not that disease again!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    We should make a reboot of the Western Ore Musical

  • Noah R.

    But can we diminish them?

  • Noah R.

    Who is “we”?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    All of us. We make them posters.

  • LameSame

    Surprised how well this actually came together. Not perfect but probably as close as you can get when you’re trying to merge such polar opposites.

    Side note: Bane is a little too obsessed with breaking Batman’s back. Yeah, it was really cool when they first depicted it, but it’s getting weird. I watched an episode of The Animated Series last night, which had Bane’s third or fourth fucking appearance in the show, and he’s STILL going on about how he wants to break Batman’s fucking back. Batman (actually, it was Superman disguised as Batman – BUT I DIGRESS) came in and the first thing Bane says is “I’m glad you’re alive because I want to feel your spine crumble in my hand.” Uh… okay. Batman had been fighting Bane for years at this point, and it’s STILL spine this, “break you” that.

    Dark Knight Rises: same deal. Arkham games: same threats to violent abuse Batman’s spine. Bane might as well change his name to “Spine-Obsessed Guy” and join forces with Calendar Man so the two of them can fuck off and brainstorm a better gimmick. Maybe explore the possibility of breaking Batman’s neck or ripping his heart out or strangling him or crushing his head like a pimple or or tearing his jaw asunder or whatever. So many possibilities, Bane! Stop thinking about backs and breaking them all the time, you fucking weirdo.

    WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM, BANE?

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • LameSame
  • LameSame
  • Domo

    So stroke-inducingly nice, you posted it twice.

  • Palpatine

    I’d rather see a remake of I’m Gonna Make Wine Out of Your Testicles.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s too perfect of a movie to remake.

  • Palpatine

    Maybe a special edition where the alien has subtitles.

  • LameSame

    Paradoxically, I posted it twice because I was having a stroke and could not properly control my hands. It’s a chicken-egg kind of thing. But not really. It was a stroke.

  • Palpatine

    Are the MacGregor’s Syndrome jokes going to be the next “thing” that everyone makes?

  • Palpatine

    Bane wanted to break Batman’s spirit by physically breaking him.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Maybe

  • RLMkeepitup

    actually it was the predators

  • RLMkeepitup

    bane is insane in the membrane

  • Like Icare

    Regarding the recent “worst comic book movie” discussion…

    This is technically a comic book.
    It is even about masked crime fighters. Who also happen to be supermodels.
    http://www.blacklacestudios.com/index2.html

    And this is the movie.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmHM_GcNOmY

    Starring: Famke Janssen as Lex/Lady X, Shannon Tweed as Shannon, Sean Young as Mercedes.
    Written and produced by Jeff Loeb of Commando and Teen Wolf fame.
    Directed by the guy who did Scanners 2 and 3, Screamers and that mini-series where Robert Carlyle is Hitler whose life is saved by his urge to beat a puppy.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=ZhP9R2TnIu8#t=728

    But something tells me that this was actually a brain child of those other two producers.
    One of whom seems to be a real shlockmeister whose career has recently turned towards a lot more Christmasy themes.
    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0156207/

    And the other one seems to have a thing for ladies with secret identities. In tight clothing. Leather, if possible.
    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0329852/
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mW5ZSenrO5I

  • RLMkeepitup

    i scrolled down but didn’t see any mention of the new policy at Regal to search bags prior to entering the theater.. #ainttakinmysnacks

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Fyuck this “oh-so-above” some blockbuster bullsh!t. Who do you think you’re fooling, Mike? You’re a B-movie filmmaker, and you love B movies. You think you’re better than these two crap Batman movies? Nope. BATMAN & ROBIN is worse than JURASSIC WORLD, STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS, FURIOUS 7, and ANT-MAN exactly how? Blah, blah, blah. Degrees of dumb. Fyuck you, again.

    You think the problem is me? I just don’t know how to have “fun”? I just can’t get with the franchising? I have “Cool Kid” issues, and I’m just knee-jerk against whatever crap the crowd gets erect for? Nothing personal, but how many times do I have to say “fyuck you”?

    Jeebus Gawd. Where can I go where people discuss movies like JAUJA, GETT, HARD TO BE A GOD? Because I’d like to go there. I’m sick to an ulcer of this stupid love/hate yadda yadda about pop fecal seepage.

    Even omitted is tired of me being he.

  • tOmy`

    Hey! There is no need to drag Furious 7 into this!!!

    These people drift and some of them, I assume, are dead.

  • tOmy`

    You…. people and your… movies. You make me sick!

    Good night guys, sleep tight! <3

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Um, okay. Whatever. Sorry, kiddo.

  • Palpatine

    Blame Andrew.

  • Domo

    Time for a Lego Batman song! Yay!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqv_LUStxDw

  • Django Plimpton

    Bane fights like he has MacGregor’s syndrome.

  • Domo

    I bet that dinosaur had the cure for MacGregor’s syndrome, but he’s not sharing after that stunt Batman pulled.

  • Sully

    I hide my Skittles® inside my assault rifle.

    Pound Sign: CalmDownPeopleIt’sAJoke

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Better than Boyhood.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Sully

    That’s why he wears the mask.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1iylmHpZiI

  • Palpatine

    He’s a big guy.

  • The Jaws and The Sharkless

    this

  • The Jaws and The Sharkless

    both

  • The Jaws and The Sharkless

    true dat :p

  • The Jaws and The Sharkless

    😛

  • The Jaws and The Sharkless

    its a case of penis envy

  • The Jaws and The Sharkless

    thank god for bewbies

  • The Jaws and The Sharkless

    never seen them, want to though

  • The Jaws and The Sharkless

    if you don’t i will

  • The Jaws and The Sharkless

    I have heard good things about it, from a variety of sources, and that’s usually a good sign.

  • The Jaws and The Sharkless

    *gay

    #Omstyle

  • Amontillado

    Pizza will kill ya

  • Amontillado
  • Amontillado

    dun dun duh duhndah dun duuuuuh

  • Amontillado

    Who am I kidding? Shaun of the Dead did it the best: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kj3G_jmKw3s

  • Amontillado

    Don’t be a hueist

  • Amontillado

    *engulfed in a fart flame of doom*

  • Amontillado

    Mike always goes too far, like the time he cooked fries at Rich’s grandma’s house (GRAMMAR BIZATCHES!) and ended up burning down half the house

  • Amontillado

    I want to go on the journey with you, BUT…Point Break is only…”Great?” And Bill and Ted 2, I’ll give you that, but BILL AND TED 1?!?! They are not only, “great,” they are life. Point Break and Highlander are the only films you’ll ever need to see in life. Everything else is crap.

  • The Jaws and The Sharkless
  • The Jaws and The Sharkless

    agreed. what was i thinking, 100 percent pure adrenaline… doesn’t get much better than that, Patrick Swayze, Keanu Reeves… now that’s how it’s done. Oh and Highlander.. rocks.

  • Amontillado

    Now my undies are ruined. Thanks Obama…

  • The Jaws and The Sharkless

    you started it

  • Amontillado

    Thank you Palpi; better to know and weep, then to not know and be confused.

  • Amontillado

    Ok, here’s a pick me up for y’all: https://www.google.com/search?site=&tbm=isch&source=hp&biw=1436&bih=748&q=boobs&oq=boobs&gs_l=img.3..0l4.1281.2211.0.2358.5.5.0.0.0.0.113.383.4j1.5.0….0…1ac.1.64.img..0.5.382.kwFIhsOpyII

  • Amontillado

    yeah and you finished it

  • Amontillado

    Bane can help you with that. He helped me lose 20 lbs! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkMPZ7WeDck

  • The Jaws and The Sharkless
  • Amontillado

    If I could give you all the upvotes, totes would

  • Amontillado

    You get a Randy Savage instead: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8C4lK41SX-Q

    NOTHING MEANS NOTHING!

  • The Jaws and The Sharkless
  • The Jaws and The Sharkless

    m/

  • pizzaroll_bunny

    So this is what happens when Mike has too much time one his hands, but doesn’t want to do another Plinket review of a nerd movie…

  • Amontillado

    You are the worst. Which is to say you are the best. In short, a god amongst men.

  • Joe Syxpac

    So you were just sharing the rainbow with everyone in the theater?

  • Jawsy’s Bogus Journey

    First thing Bill and Ted said when they stepped out of the time machine in 2015:

    Ted; ”Woah, dude this sucks!”
    Bill; ”Yeah man, it sure it does dude.”
    Ted; ”Well what are we waiting for, back to the 80s man!!”
    Bill; ”You sure bro? you know what’s waitin for us back there, Madonna, dude”
    Ted; ”Woah, well, anything is better than this dude”
    Bill; ”Tru dat!”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmELf8DJAVY

  • Noah R.

    The human eye can detect fakeness really well…

  • dollar store cashier wife

    4 U

  • Red Skeleton

    WARNING, Clickbait!! … Because apparently linking to anything on here is now considered clickbait.

    I gotta admit, I didn’t realize these people were different people for a while.

    https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/11925999_1077272892284601_5548773225412118209_n.jpg?oh=638930d89372e19fe7edb50575126879&oe=567ECCBF

  • Red Skeleton

    Article in a mainstream newspaper about the (cultural) death of bad movies.

    http://www.theguardian.com/film/2015/aug/20/if-a-bad-film-fails-to-get-into-cinemas-how-can-we-enjoy-hating-it

  • Red Skeleton

    Not entirely sure I agree with it. btw

  • Red Skeleton

    Bro? Tru dat? Man, were you even alive during the 80’s?

    Edit: Please correct me if I’m wrong, RLMcs, but a) I’m pretty sure Bill and Ted never said that, and/or B) Those expressions are fairly contemporary.

  • Jawsy’s Bogus Journey

    you may have a point there, though, speaking of Madonna…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaqJl4oGgf8

  • That dinosaur is not sharing anything. Because Mr Freeze froze it and then shattered it. I’m sorry Domo, it’s dead.
    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Kp8iAi4WZHM/VTq8mbrD6II/AAAAAAAAOvA/N-SirvGBPWc/s1600/1239321451_025.bmp

  • #UselessTriviaThatIsObviouslyWrong

    Did you know that the Silver Age Mr Freeze had a freezing teapot instead of a huge freeze gun?
    http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/0/40/2194735-f1.jpg

  • Jawsy’s Bogus Journey

    ouch, 47 Ronin, dude, that’s gotta hurt Ted
    it sure did Bill.

  • Jawsy’s Bogus Journey
  • Red Skeleton

    So now you’re Bruce, Denise Milani, AND Bill and Ted?

    http://io9.com/5239649/alan-tudyk-explains-the-theology-of-alpha

  • Jawsy’s Bogus Journey
  • Jawsy’s Bogus Journey

    so anyway the movie started with this Morgan Freeman voice-over, and I was like, nope, no fucking way, not again, so I said, listen Morgan, dam it, blow it our your ass, and I changed the channel. then i began a letter to steven spielberg and i was like. Man, listen, Steven, man what is it with you these days, have you just given up?. but i stopped there and i was thinkin like, maybe i was too harsh, so i gave the movie another chance. Tom cruise was on screen, and i was like, nope, no fucking way, no way in hell is tom cruise gonna be in my War of the Worlds movie, so i picked up the pen and told speilberg to take the movie and shove it. i looked over at my dusty old vhs version of the original war of the worlds, and i was like, bro, i did it all for you, i love you man, and we made love all that night, it was a beautiful thing my friends. there was a lesson in all that, but i dont remember what it.. oh yeah thats right, stop remaking my favorite movies you assholessssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • instant relief

    BANNED!

  • *Baned
    #IWillBreakYou

  • Sully

    Exactly.

  • Sully

    Yeah, but the new one had actual tripods in it. TRIPODS!!!

  • LameSame

    Sure, but he’s really kind of singular-minded about doing it and how to do it. I’ve broken zero backs but plenty of spirits.

  • Sully

    “Live trophies.”
    But for how long?

  • Sully

    I did a similar post about Orlando Bloom, Luke Evans, and Rupert Friend the other day. Even Hollywood’s actors are reboots nowadays.

  • tOmy`

    “Remember the opening scene from Blade where an underground techno rave is showered in blood? Well now it’s happening for real.
    The unsurprisingly anonymous organizers apparently wanted to make Halloween as terrifying as possible for the people of Amsterdam, so they are looking to use real blood.
    While it looks like the night is definitely going ahead, there seems to be problems in allowing a club to drench thousands of people in gallons of real blood.
    Although this hasn’t yet been confirmed, they have reportedly already designed a sprinkler system capable of distributing blood to the dancefloor.”

  • tOmy`

    8 – 11 minutes. Weren’t you paying attention?!

  • Sully

    Nope!

  • Red Skeleton

    You’re in an awful AMC show about zombies the middle of a Zombie apocalypse and you stagger into camp and the person on guard shoots you in the head. How do you respond? A) Well, I probably shouldn’t have been limping around quietly like a zombie. B) Hey, what gives, I thought there were no guns allowed on the farm?? C) YOU STUPID BITCH! LOOK WHO YOU’RE SHOOTING AT BEFORE YOU FIRE! … or D) Oh, that’s OK, lolol!

  • Red Skeleton

    Oh, and Lori just hit a zombie on the road, freaked out and then presumably attempted to commit suicide by driving into some trees and overturning the car. Is all the drama in this show generated by people just being dumb as fuck?

  • Sully

    Yum. Just make sure you keep the blood moving up till the moment you decide to dispense it, otherwise it’ll coagulate and clot the sprinkler heads.

    Stop wondering how I know this shit.

  • Sully

    The answer is (E) “All of the Above.”

  • LameSame

    Depends on what color shirt you’re wearing. It’s why I always make sure to wear a red shirt when I eat spaghetti and meatballs.

  • Sully

    Season 2 was 90% shit. That’s back when Kirkman and Darabont were at war with AMC over how they wanted to continue the show. Even though the first season was an amazing hit, launching The Walking Dead into the television ratings history book, AMC still wanted to slash the budget and alter the vision in the 2nd season, which didn’t go over to well with anyone on the show. The result was a muddled mess of a season.

  • Sully

    The goal is to destroy Batman while leaving Bruce Wayne to wallow in pathetic misery. The best way to do that is to take away his money and power; in this case his power being his physical prowess.

  • Hm… Stupid doesn’t even begin to describe this.

  • 11 minutes.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    DARKNESS! MORE DARKNESS! In the basement!

    *butt

    I AM OMITTED!

  • Cave, the cave. Dark and damp.

  • Who needs movies when you could listen to it ON THE RADIO? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xs0K4ApWl4g

  • Jawsy’s Bogus Journey

    you do got a point there dude, but still, tom cruise…

  • Jawsy’s Bogus Journey

    woah, nice one dude 🙂

  • Jawsy’s Bogus Journey

    you call the director over and say ”listen uwe boll, man, is this really in the script”

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I was just thinking yesterday, I don’t want to survive the zombie apocalypse. Forced to live in a bunker, strapped with weapons I don’t want to use, eating Spam from the can…for the fiftieth day in a row. Every time I go outside, I forget about all the barbed wire. Out of clean bandages. No movies, not even the bad ones. No new books. No TV. No music (Well, there’s one good thing: Never have to hear Disney pop or hip-hop again). The ever-present smell of decomposition.

    Re-build? Schmuild!

    Don’t care if it’s zombies or talking apes…

    #EatMeFirst

  • Earth

    AAAARGH!

    In memory of Donald Pleasence.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Why is there a spin-off series of this now? Weren’t they all afraid of zombies in the first series? How can zombies be so interesting that we need two TV series about them?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Switch out the techno-disco with real music and let ’em fight it out amongst themselves.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    And big piles of pink cotton candy everywhere. Unlike the zombie-pocalypse, the alien invasion is gonna be SWEET!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Eh. The biggest box office successes this year are all really bad movies. I’m not quite sure I understand the writer’s point.

  • Sully

    The West Coast was feeling left out.

    Joking aside, I think this is Kirkman’s way of telling fresh stories. While he isn’t completely strapped to follow the books with the current show, he is expected to follow certain beats to appease the fans, so I’m guessing he wants to create a show where people can’t be a few steps ahead in regards to whose gonna die next, whose going to be introduced, etc.

  • Joe Syxpac
  • Sully

    Tom Cruise isn’t terrible though. Bat shit crazy, sure, but I’ve enjoyed 90% of his movies, so…

  • Jaws and the Fatman

    not in a war of the worlds movie though. But i will say i do like Born on the 4th of July.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Well, you wouldn’t expect Bill-n-Ted to come to 2015 and not take anything back with them.

    “True, that” has always been an expression. It’s just ebonics that are post-90s lexicon.

    Racist!

  • Sully

    You damn skippy.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Before and After Bane.

  • LameSame

    Which is all well and good and not lost on me. I get that.

    Narratively it’s become redundant, and — listen, it’s just a little fucking weird of him regardless of motivation. It’s been decades of fixation. At least Mr. Freeze is kind enough to widdle his gig into various puns. With Bane, we don’t even get that. It’s just “I’m going to break your back! I’m so fucking going to do it this time!” Can’t he at least consider crushing his limbs or going for his eyes or something? For such a beloved villain, it’s getting weird that breaking Batman’s back is his m.o. (and that he loves to talk about it). I’m just saying something’s up. There’s some weird shit going on there. It probably makes him horny or something.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Angerous! Totally not a word but should be.
    I AM OMITTED!

  • Jaws and the Fatman

    but still could be worse, could be Rob Zombie.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    An EXCELLENT joke.

  • Sully

    It’s societal cleansing at its finest, Pa. Personally, I plan on specifically targeting people living in bunkers. Fuck those guys.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Are you implying Bane is a one-note character? I’ll allow it!

    Wait until they get a load of Hush, said Jack Nicholson.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Fresh zombie stories.

    Yeah, that can be done. (giggle)

  • LameSame

    But think of all the knitting you can get done.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You’ve been, um, suffering a lot of flatulence lately. Maybe you should see a doctor or a dietician or somebody.

    We care about you, Wizard.

  • Jaws and the Fatman

    what does elephant taste like i wonder ;p

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Stealing my shtick?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Chicken.

  • Sully

    Because the back is harder to heal, and it’s really hard to paralyze someone without actually killing them, so he doesn’t want to break his neck or anything, and the back is more efficient than breaking all four limbs.
    Plus, breaking Batman’s back is Bane’s thing. He’s a big guy. I mean, he could just be a mental foil, but the Joker and Riddler have that on lockdown, and he needs to standout. How many of Batman’s enemies can best Bats physically?

    Just as sending correspondence is the Riddler’s thing, and trying to find shit he’s scared of is Scarecrow’s thing. Bane’s thing is breaking shit (physically and mentally). He’s obsessed with it, because he’s fucked in the head (like everyone in comics). It’s like asking, why is Batman obsessed with Bats? Why not a new creature each day of the week? “Look guys, I’m Snakeman!” The answer is, because Batman wants to send a specific cohesive symbolic message. Bane is the same way. “I broke you once, motherfucker. I’ll do it again. I’m that guy.” It’s almost like he’s boasting his physical abilities to the other villains in the universe.

    But this is just, like, my opinion man.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    #GlassHalfFull

  • Jaws and the Fatman

    very good, but still, shouldve been steven speilberg.

  • Sully

    Sure. The landscape is always the same, but the characters change, though I’m not saying this’ll be the case with this show.

    I’m actually writing a zombie trilogy that’s completely character driven. The zombie apocalypse merely serves as a backdrop to place my characters in.

  • Sully

    Ass to mouth.

  • LameSame

    True, but the Joker and Riddler at least create different scenarios and different mindfucks for Batman. With the Joker, you don’t know what his goal or intended outcome is most of the time. With Bane, it’s “break that motherfucker’s back”. I mean if that’s his thing, that’s his thing. I’m not gonna get in his way or anything, but maybe he should reflect on that a little. Do some soul-searching.

  • Sully

    The writer of the article fails to understand that it costs money to distribute films worldwide, and studios only pay for brands (i.e. things they think will get them the most return for their investment).
    The bigger issue is, why are people like Sandler still considered brands? Do children and frat fucks still watch his shit? I thought they’d all moved on to Rogen.

  • Sully

    Well, how many ways can you beat someone’s ass, honestly?

  • Earth

    The bigger issue is that small, independent, well-made movies won’t see larger releases. Who cares about big box-office garbage like Pixels? Small bad movies like Samurai Cop will always appear now and then.

  • Amontillado

    Start cranking that good ol’ Jim Croce, they love Jim Croce at their raves!

  • Jaws and the Fatman

    dude, there’s like a lot of dumb guys out there.

  • Earth

    If you ever need further proof that most people are dumb.

  • Jaws and the Fatman

    lol so true, and as always slightly depressing.

  • Sully

    Hence the need for a Zombie Apocalypse.

  • Jaws and the Fatman

    this

  • Earth

    Masterpiece of radio drama.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    So. What you’re telling me is that there will be three more zombie movies that I will be seeing? Three? OK. But promise me you’ll table writing a superhero script until after this old man has shuffled.

    It won’t be that long.

    I’m 80.

  • Earth

    The fact that they were considering censorship legislation…

  • Jaws and the Fatman

    agreed

  • LameSame

    Ask my ex-wife. She always found new and creative ways to beat me senseless. But it’s okay because she’s dead now. For reasons too painful(ly incriminating) to divulge.

  • Jaws and the Fatman

    Pet Sematary. which you could argue is a zombie movie.
    one of the best movies, because it really took death and rebirth seriously, and took its time with that. which i think is the key to the interest. but then again Stephen King has like a brain.

  • Like Icare

    Yes. Children and frat fucks are a huge market.

    Now… We need a way to make beer that can be sold both to children and frat fucks.
    Perhaps something age activated (use hormones), which would just be a sweet sugary cola to kids and booze to frat fucks and adults.
    Kinda like grape juice turning into wine, only without the whole fermenting in caskets thing.

  • Like Icare

    Zombie apocalypse will only increase the number of brain dead waltzing around.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I can’t think of a single Tom Cruise movie that is on my personal Great Movie list. I’m sure I’ve seen half a dozen of them. Not one would I watch again, even if it were the only thing being broadcast on a continuous loop.

    He has always annoyed me. Even the occasional PR stories where he’s jumping into a burning car to save an old lady’s kitten don’t move me. And, I know you all think I’m just filled with bile anyway, but it isn’t true. Stories about old ladies’ kittens’ near-death rescues usually pluck my heart-strings.

    Tom Cruise. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Hugh Jackman. I’ll just never get it with those three.

  • Sully

    Will this “beer” be poisoned? Can… can it be poisoned?

  • Jaws and the Fatman

    hugh jackman… eek, not good, not at all
    but Arny? dude his early stuff is great
    Tom, hmm well im a top gun fan.. shutup its good 😛

  • Sully

    Or used to.

    But I agree. Zombie films don’t need to be action films or siege films in order to be interesting. There are nigh unlimited possibilities.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Ahnuld is a boil on the ass of Pop culture.

  • Jaws and the Fatman

    everything, and i mean everything after T2 sucks my ass

  • Sully

    I do have a Comic Book-like story I’m working on, but it’s not so much a superhero film as a noir avenging angel-type thing.

  • Jaws and the Fatman

    love the noir style, if done right.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I’ll allow it.

  • Like Icare

    It’s a subtle hint that their time traveling altered the timeline.

    Note how the change in their vocabulary takes place right after Ted suggests going back to the ’80s.
    They are the observers in the observer effect.

  • Like Icare

    Alcohol technically is a poison.

    I once drank a bottle of cognac (well… cheap local version… probably just paint, aroma and raw alcohol) and went out on the floor. They were burning my fingers with cigarette lighters to see if I was still alive. And for fun.

  • Like Icare

    Sooo…
    Best of the Worst and Wheel of the Worst are providing a public service by (re)introducing those bad movies to the world?

  • Like Icare

    Steroids. Not just for children with atrophied muscles any more.

  • TheManHole

    I went to a Halloween underground techno rave in Amsterdam and all I got was AIDS.

  • Sully

    The within minutes you’ll be dead kind. You know what I mean.

  • Sully

    Dicken / Chicken… it’s all the same.

  • Jaws and the Fatman

    Question: When exactly did James Cameron start making shit movies. Answer: 1994 True Lies.

  • Brack to the Future

    Movie Trivia #2: When exactly did JC sell out to the NWO?

  • Sully

    True Lies was a solid little action film. Some people didn’t like the camp because it was a change of pace from Cameron’s other films, but I kinda liked it. Plus Bill Paxton was gold in that film.

  • instant relief

    That was some True Truth, Fantastic Mr. Fox.

  • Jaws and the Fatman

    who hasnt sold out to the NWO, that is the question.

  • Sully

    The Illuminati.

  • Jaws and the Fatman

    the terrorist made me feel dirty
    the way arny and jamie lee curtis were made me feel dirty
    but when the missiles destroyed the bridge, very good action shot that
    but yeah, me no likey.

  • Palpatine

    I love Titanic. Even though I’m not a fan of the whole love story, the size and scale of the movie is just epic. The sinking scenes are great, and the historical aspect works really well too.

  • Red Skeleton

    No, I gotta go with Jawnise on this one. True Lies stars two of the LEAST sexy people in Hollywood, and one of them does a strip tease for the other.

  • Jaws and the Fatman

    but did you like the characters.

  • Sully

    Everything makes you feel dirty. You’re a dirty slut. What did you expect?

  • Jaws and the Fatman

    well, true :p

  • Do you mean Tom Arnold or Arnold Schwarzenegger?

  • Jaws and the Fatman

    oh yes

  • Sully

    That was the point.

  • Palpatine

    The characters are OK.

  • instant relief

    Lemme clean off the dirt with a shower of fresh cum.

  • Sully
  • Jaws and the Fatman

    but dude, celine dion, thats enough to take off a few stars alone.

  • Palpatine

    Jamie Lee has gotten better with age, surprisingly.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Last weekend, when I saw THE GIFT, the AMC pre-show kept adverting some Celine Dion comeback concert, and every time she came on I hit myself in the chest with my fist like, you know, was her thing with that song.

    No lie…by the fourth time, several strangers in the auditorium were doing it too. It’s like I started a meme in the real world.

  • Jaws and the Fatman

    all joking aside, i never got to the sinking part. the build up bored me to tears. A Night to Remember was better.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    He said Yo. Yo, Shoji. Yo, Shoji. Yo, Shoji, yo.

  • Jaws and the Fatman
  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Who knew there was a fourth Gee?

  • Jaws and the Fatman

    well apparently he was also the fifth Beatle, who knew.

  • Jaws and the Fatman

    exactly how you do that with your trumpet is a question for the ages.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Sure, but by the time he joined Genesis, they were already over, man.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Troof.
    Racist!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    It was the best of tastes. It was the worst of tastes.

  • Jawsoween

    Speaking of Dickens. good book that

  • TheManHole

    Braking news I found the leaked plot for the upcoming Batman V Superman movie.

    http://tinyurl.com/lhxkzjj

  • Red Skeleton

    Orson Welles, being polite?? *Head explodes*

  • Brack to the Future

    Ew

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    “Do you PIE? You will.”‘Cause there are no cakes left, get it? Luthor stole them all.”

    “That villain! We better get the team together!”

    “What? You mean Aquaman? Last time he was involved, the cake got all fishy tasting. And don’t get me started on the Amazon.”

    “Why are you so bitter?”

    “Darkness.”

    END SCENE

    I AM OMITTED!

  • Brack to the Future

    That’s pale broth. The movie is a pretty lousy rendering, and the denouement is a rotten payoff stinger instead of a truly horrific moment.

  • Like Icare

    Have you seen that “original” movie lately?

    There is a scene where a priest goes to talk “peace” with aliens. He gets vaporized.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=uK_bEGE2DO4#t=153

    There is a scene when locals try to pry open an alien spaceship by hitting it hard with shovels.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=FASMOBhmfec#t=24

    There is a square dancing scene.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=FASMOBhmfec#t=132

    It uses stock footage in a way Ed Wood would, whenever he could.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=X15vA4kQvPs#t=157

    Aliens are… Well… Of Nukie quality.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=X15vA4kQvPs#t=28

    There is a scene where they do “science” by attaching one of those alien
    “eyes” that were chasing hero and the screaming lady around the farm
    house, before it got chopped off (alien eyes) with an axe.
    When “scientist man” drags a clearly traumatized woman in front of the alien eye “to see why aliens were so curious about her” it’s pure unintentional comedy gold.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=tEv8nEvETgs#t=180

    There are numerous scenes where people keep running to churches to hide from alien destruction. There is a LOT of religious “GOD in his wisdom” crap in it. A LOT! Throughout the movie.

    It’s not just a B-movie.
    It’s “In the end, we shall prevail cause Jebus is on our side, and not on the side of them Reds. And I don’t mean Martians from a ‘red planet”. I mean them commie Red Russians.” kinda movie.

    And the ultimate solution is GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!
    And by that I mean JEEEEEEEEBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSS!!!
    It’s subtle. You can almost not notice it.

  • Brack to the Future

    Oh well the Koreas are at war again. It must be August.

  • Jawsoween

    no doubt it does have flaws, and when i say best, i should put it in the ”guilty pleasure” zone. but still guilty pleasure is pleasurable.

  • Brack to the Future

    Rosicrucians, some druids and a friend of mine named Shively.

  • Jawsoween

    true, but that’s what makes it good, b movies rock.

  • Jawsoween

    well apart from them

  • Indeed but the whole story of panic that supposedly ensued during/after the broadcast was just a story made up by the media to drive sales of failing newspapers.

  • Brack to the Future

    Oh yeah, don’t get me wrong, shooting those scenes with Denise Crosby must’ve been lifelong boner fuel for Captain Milquetoast. I really enjoy all of the characters, and the film is faithful to the Ramones. And of course, sometimes, dead is better.

  • Like Icare

    Terrible? No. It just reminds you that even Luthor likes cake.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=yqyIaNWP0T0#t=202

  • Like Icare

    I tried to sell out to NWO. They wouldn’t take me.

  • Like Icare
  • Jawsoween

    love the Ramones song, probably the best thing about it really, well that and the Church.

  • Like Icare

    Hey! Don’t knock that Hep C! Much greater infection rate than AIDS.

  • Brack to the Future

    Anybody see Slow West? Is it just me or is Fassbender getting better by the minute? (The best reason to rewatch Prometheus, btw.)

  • Red Skeleton
  • Brack to the Future

    An age-old problem best exhorted in one declaration from Victor/Victoria: “cockroach!”

  • Like Icare

    Part of what I mentioned makes it B-movie shlock, which can be “so bad it’s good”.
    Other parts just make it xenophobic religious propaganda hinting that “we should just kill em all off with bacteria”.

    Whatever else may be the issue with Spielberg version (and IMHO it’s just that it is so fuckin depressing and spirit crushing) at least it is not waving the genocide flag while playing “God is on our side. Yes he is.”

  • Like Icare

    Well… I drank it within minutes. And within minutes I was out.
    I just needed a liiiittle more.
    http://www.medicaldaily.com/taste-death-ld50-3-popular-drinks-can-kill-you-298918

  • Like Icare
  • Jawsoween

    lets say that’s true, which it is, you could argue that the majority of movies in the 50s had that world view. and that world view i find amusing in small doses. in all seriousness, regarding steven speilberg. the universe which is created in his take on the movie, felt unreal, in a bad way. the scope which he obviously fell in love with, probably due to shyamalan. doesnt work for me when the title of the movie War of the Worlds makes me think epic.

  • So does Superman (the one that wasn’t made).
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxSX7ZHigPY

  • Like Icare

    Apparently it’s (surprise, surprise) the fact that employers have for ages basically forced underpaid workers to beg for handouts, while acting all magnanimous about it.

    And that asshole writing the article even has the balls to blame “not enough slave labor lately” (i.e. immigrants).
    “The slowdown in immigration over the past five years has also made it harder for kitchens to find staff since the industry is deeply reliant on immigrant labor.”

    Yeah… umm… charge the customers the real cost and pay workers fairly instead of forcing them to beg for change, while helping employers evade taxes (there is no tax on the tips – reducing everything from employee income to appearance of employers bottom line).

    Something tells me that there will suddenly be a surplus of both cooks and waiters should they start to be paid more fairly.

  • Like Icare

    That man is a national treasure.

  • Jawsoween

    never seen that, hmm a likable nic cage performance though, interesting.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Cue Average Ayn-Randian: “Wait. What? A foreign person has been cooking my food all this time?”

    *cooking raping

    Somebody’s gotta be doing all the raping. Gotta be.

  • Jaws 2 – The Sharkening

    where exactly do you rape food though lol

  • I don’t think the pie expressed consent. http://www.themoviescene.co.uk/reviews/_img/21-2.jpg

  • Bubs

    Hell yes there’s a problem. Do you have any idea how fucking difficult it is to find a poor, dirty Mexican to build my deck? Everytime I go to home depot, all the good Mexicans are already picked clean! All they have is a bunch of Columbians who speak perfect English and expect to be paid minimum wage! MINIMUM WAGE! Fuck that. I’ll just wait til I can get some poor bastard who will work for the cheese grease on the underside of my frying pan.

  • The American way.

  • Jaws 2 – The Sharkening

    of course, the ole one in the pie trick, i shouldve known.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqukWXviyew

  • Brack to the Future

    Rather than it being an acquiescence to alms, as you put it, tipping is simply a way of ensuring one’s food contains the least amount of sputum, hair or ejaculate. Like a sacred bond between patron and purveyor.

  • Sully

    Anyone who has been to the manhole knows it’s ALWAYS Lisa’s goddamn fault… unless it’s Andrews.

  • Bubs

    The word you’re looking for is “Bribe”.

  • Brack to the Future

    Anybody else in a fraternity? Did your sorority-invite parties always end in a singalong of that wretched Bye Bye Miss American Pie song? Because that was horrible.

  • Palpatine

    I don’t have a problem with minimum wage immigrant labor.

  • Bubs

    Have you ever been poor?

  • Palpatine

    No, I’m middle class, but I used the most powerful man in my galaxy.

  • Brack to the Future

    So you’re both poor and deluded?

  • Brack to the Future

    Best job I ever had made me $3.45 per hour. Of course back then you could buy a Whopper with one straw penny.

  • Palpatine

    I live in a two story house, does that sound poor to you?

  • Sully

    Not “out”, motherfucker. DEAD!!!!

  • Bubs

    Just because you used Slave Labor to build the death star doesn’t make it okay!

  • Sully

    Tom Arnold casually popping off rounds at him is probably my favorite thing in that movie.

  • Jaws 2 – The Sharkening
  • Brack to the Future

    Possibly. I wrote a two-story story once but that doesn’t make me an author.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Small library. Guess you don’t read much.
    Ba-dum-tsh!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Yet…The cook has already stuck his dick on your plate before the server’s touched it.

    So, joke’s on you, Yuppy!

  • Palpatine

    Do you live in a shack in the middle of the woods?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    The pie-hole.

  • Brack to the Future

    Oh no, not that kind of party. I mean “let’s dress up and act like gentlemen to go to these nice girls’ party, then try and raid as much tang as possible while our dates aren’t looking.” Like a Country Club, state park lodge, Holiday Inn. And silly dates smuggling booze in shampoo bottles. Rum tastes bad with methylisothiazolinone bubbles in it.

  • Jaws 2 – The Sharkening

    are you implying he maybe the Una-bomber, because I too have had my suspicions.

  • Brack to the Future

    More like a quonset in the desert.

  • tOmy`

    The red cakes are leaving! The red cakes are leaving!

  • Like Icare

    Not really all movies. Many others had different take on it all.
    Like The Day The Earth Stood Still.
    Aliens there don’t criticize nations but humanity as a whole.
    Or Forbidden Planet, which points to a monster within us all, making real the monsters from our fears and nightmares.
    Then there are movies like High Noon, which paint a very different picture of who the bad guys are, what means living in fear and what means standing up to one’s principles.

    As for Spielberg’s version… I don’t think that it is Shyamalan.
    It’s Independence Day.
    That’s where those epic elements of “War of the Worlds” got used up.

    It’s WoW for the 20th century, the way original was for the 19th.
    Impact on culture is just too damn huge to avoid comparison and frankly, there is nothing in WoW that can compare cause that one is fundamentally a story about how weak we are.
    ID on the other hand celebrates our greatness when facing impossible odds.
    Humanist optimism beats misanthropic depression any day.

    And had Spielberg used any of that same imagery from 1950s WoW it would have undoubtedly been compared to ID – and found lacking or declared a copy.

    So… he went where his strengths are and made it about family.
    Except it is not that kind of a story.
    Nor is it a story that can be made contemporary and remain true to the original material.

    Aliens can’t be metaphors for REAL aliens and be all evil – cause we as a species have moved on from such levels of xenophobia and paranoia.
    Foreigners are humans too. Not evil, baby eating, blood sucking savages.
    Can’t make a WoW movie about Iraq.

    Nor can those aliens be unbeatable except by a literal deus ex machina – we at least need Will Smith to be piloting machina in fabula, with the help of a nerdy guy.
    Cause we KNOW that the scene where people get together to pray as alien ship approaches is not there to lift our spirits with faith – it’s there so “I’m not Jewish. Ah, nobody’s perfect.” joke can be had.

    And that’s a good thing.
    Fuck H.G. Welles and his 19th century Britain xenophobic reactionary paranoid ludite views. Fuck him up his stupid ass.

  • Brack to the Future

    Fun fact, it’s actually UNABOM-er, as unabom is the acronym for his crime spree. #TMYK

  • Brack to the Future

    Speaking of lassitudinous assholes, has there ever been a lazier rhyme than “chevy” and “levy?”

  • Like Icare

    ..a liiiittle more…

    It’s not the years. It’s the dosage.

  • Palpatine

    No, but I know most assholes are named Chevy.

  • Jaws 2 – The Sharkening

    indeed, named some decent sci fi there, makes me wanna watch some old school sci fi now.

  • Like Icare

    Likeable? Hmm… He’s very close to psycho there. Very close.

  • Brack to the Future

    The joke’s on Wu, I only pretend to eat. And I faked all my mmms!

  • Jaws 2 – The Sharkening

    i thought that scene in of itself was charming enough, but, never seen the movie, not being a cage fan in general, so theres quite a few i probably should watch to be up to date with the memes.

  • tOmy`

    So yesterday I attended a party that was straight from 90s video clip. There is this small pub / bike shop that just recently installed a brand new mini-u-ramp and to mark the occasion, 11 local skaters did a small competition to the soundtrack of Jamiroquai and Limp Bizkit. Then two punk bands started playing. You had around 50 people in moshpit, 1 meter infront of the “stage” (a tent, really) while 2 meters away from us, there were drunk / high skaters still riding – so we were basically dancing with lead singer while dodging skateboards accidentally flying around us and catching falling people.

    Then cops came. And there was an obligatory fight.

    I would like to also take this opportunity and show you a small song that my friends from HYV did just recently, mastering is not the best, but you might like it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_I4nA8xa6tw

  • tOmy`

    No need to redact tho, you were sorta right.

  • Palpatine

    Wow, that is the most Eurotrash thing I have ever read. No offense.

  • Brack to the Future

    I would very much appreciate a Brian Cox Tribute Thread. Not that he’s dead, but that he’s awesome and doesn’t give two shits that he has a dick in his name.

    What other contemporary actor has writers at his very whim — who understand his timbre, cadence, his eruptive vocal capabilities. Sublime, fascinating. I assure you The Long Kiss Goodnight and the final season of Deadwood are well worth their wages. I bid you good day, Mister Langrishe!

  • Jaws 2 – The Sharkening

    I like Chevy Chase, in small doses.

  • tOmy`

    I will allow it.

    Also, a guys were doing BBQ and because they don’t have a grill, they were using a truck wheel to cook things on. So you can mix in some redneck white trash as well!

  • Brack to the Future

    I was in Quantico, that’s enough goddamned Maryland for a lifetime.

  • Sully

    Fuck it, use botulinum.

  • Brack to the Future

    “Oh wow I was so full of drink last night, some person made lewd comment on my chest with Magic Marker!” http://i.ytimg.com/vi/ax9Qfs3Bz3A/hqdefault.jpg

  • Brack to the Future

    Jeez you really shouldn’t eat from that unless you’re sure they cooked off the paint and asbestos.

  • Red Skeleton

    But they were the evilest creatures who ever lived! Surely they deserved to be blown up, despite knowing the risks enslaved.

  • Brack to the Future

    Huh, I was sure this place was rife with Cox-lovers.

  • Jaws 2 – The Sharkening

    I like Ronny Cox, does that count.

  • Brack to the Future

    I once dumped a girl for having the clap, so no. Ronny Cox is not good.

  • Palpatine

    He was in Pixels. Nuff said.

  • Like Icare

    Customers shouldn’t be afraid of their food. Food should fear customers. Unless they are vegetarians.

    That “sandwich may contain ground glass” ritual is just the business owner transferring the risk, due to anger of his mistreatment of workers, to the customer.

    It’s like being forced to carry a gun around cause your landowner also rents apartments to people who pay him in drugs and blowjobs and he likes the arrangement cause those are nontaxable, so fuck you.
    Those other tenants MIGHT lunge at you with a knife in the hallway, occasionally, around the rent time, or just mug you, but the arrangement is so convenient for the landowner, so fuck you.

  • Sully

    I hate camp in horror films.

    (there are exceptions, but very few)

  • Jaws 2 – The Sharkening

    lol

  • Palpatine

    Can you give us an example of a bad camp horror film?

  • Like Icare

    Jose, can you seeeee…

  • Red Skeleton

    Decampitated?

  • Brack to the Future

    Well then his performance shall elevate even that of a Sandler, a curse word so grievous that it earns a fiver in the swear jar of my humble shack on a river!

  • Red Skeleton

    Cannibal the Musical?

  • Red Skeleton
  • Jaws 2 – The Sharkening

    agreed

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It’s stylistically designed to be that way.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Palpatine

    I like that movie.

  • Brack to the Future

    Oh you know I’m glib, but I was just poking fun at the institution of eating out.

    On the other hand I know that during my younger years when I ate meat and frequented young ladies and sat in saloons (yes saloons) until all hours, I ate so much spooge and spit. That’s because I’m a dick.

    You strike a balance when your service comes with a performance bonus. So after enough pubes, I began to frequent higher-classed joints.

  • Red Skeleton

    Do you like the part where Jason bangs a girl against a tree?

  • Palpatine

    Of course, the kills are what make those movies great.

  • Red Skeleton

    I have terrible news for one of you.

    http://farm9.static.flickr.com/8486/8251274791_2e338f83c3.jpg

    YOU’RE A PHONY! A BIG FAT PHONY!!

  • Brack to the Future

    Gross. Those look painful.

  • Like Icare

    It’s a bit “best things in life are free” saccharine adaptation of A Christmas Carol where god/spirit of Christmas/Santa/wizard is a magic negro trying to rob a store over a lottery ticket.

    And then THE CAGE COMES DOWN!

    Whoa. That quote CAN be used in context.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbObXYMHVHE

  • tOmy`

    Yanks don’t get it. Their only subculture is people who don’t have HBO.

  • Jaws 2 – The Sharkening

    haha says the man who chopped off his own hand 😛

  • Jaws 2 – The Sharkening

    *playful

  • Red Skeleton

    The shark STILL looks fake…. AND SO DO YOUR BOOBS!

  • Sully

    Def looked better in the before pic.

  • Brack to the Future

    Don’t forget the idiot Yanks who only have an aerial on their house! That’s the real dummy strata.

  • Red Skeleton
  • Palpatine

    You don’t like the Friday the 13th movies?

  • Jaws 2 – The Sharkening
  • Red Skeleton
  • Brack to the Future

    I prefer human women who have the ability to outrun me, frankly. Those yammers look like two minutes on a treadmill would be a lifetime of black-eye surgery.

  • Palpatine

    GAH, KILL IT, KILL IT!!!

  • Jaws 2 – The Sharkening

    lol

  • Jaws 2 – The Sharkening

    i like the idea, but i’m yet to see the best version of what it could be. i wish they would try a little harder.

  • Brack to the Future

    Meatballs.

  • instant relief

    Aren’t there camps in all of horror movies?

  • instant relief

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  • Jaws 2 – The Sharkening

    lol. i see, hmm thats a bit dissapointing, but maybe the characters might be enough.

  • Palpatine

    At least they’re entertaining, unlike half of the films in the Halloween series.

  • Sully

    It’s hard to name a specific film, and I suppose I should clarify. I don’t like a lot of humor in my horror films.
    In a genre that’s dependent on stakes, it’s hard to accept those stakes when the characters themselves don’t seem to be experiencing any fear from the situation they’re in.

    If I’m watching a horror and someone says something like, “Let’s go kick some insert monster class here ass.” I’m immediately out of the movie and no longer care what happens for the duration of the runtime.

  • Sully

    I see what you did there…

  • instant relief

    I challenge you to hold 2 lines of coke with your boobs!

  • instant relief

    I R TEH SMURTZ!

  • Jaws 2 – The Sharkening

    agreed with this. although i might be in the very few select minority who thinks halloween 2 is probably as good as the original…

  • Sully

    AND THIS GUY’S A MONY! A NOT QUITE SO FAT MONY!!

    http://www.theglamnationnetwork.com/uploads/1/3/1/2/13123626/9433084_orig.jpg

  • tOmy`
  • Jaws 2 – The Sharkening

    well that sums up Halloween Resurrection in a nut shell basically.

  • bleurgh

    He was the best Hannibal hands down.

  • Sully

    AND JESSICA ALBA’S A HONEY. A TRUE TO LIFE HONEY!!

    http://img.pandawhale.com/52700-jessica-alba-gif-qixX.gif

  • Jaws 2 – The Sharkening
  • tOmy`

    AND THIS IS SOPRANO’S TONY! A BIG FAT TONY!

    http://media.giphy.com/media/kZQwTsRbUZPA4/giphy-facebook_s.jpg

  • Sully

    Zombieland is one as well.

  • Sully

    Here’s one…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZ_Rqh4bHXo

    It’s a shit salad.

  • Palpatine

    I think Halloween, Halloween II, Halloween III, Halloween 4, and Halloween H20 are all good. The rest of films, not so much.

  • Jaws 2 – The Sharkening

    although there were 2 good things in that trailer 😛

  • Sully

    IS THIS IS A SONY! A BIG PHAT SONY!!

    http://i.imgur.com/hl7of3d.jpg

  • Jaws 2 – The Sharkening

    i cannot work out how Halloween 2 got rubbish reviews. so what if they say he is her sister *spoiler… its a small scene in a dimly lit car. the night time shots are great. although they forgot how michael does the heavy breathing in his mask, but hey not everybody is john carpenter.

  • Sully

    If you like that, you’ll really enjoy the red band trailer.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEt4KZd0_I4

    Me? I’ll pass.

  • Jaws 2 – The Sharkening

    oh dont get me wrong though, that movie looks dumber than the definition of dumb

  • tOmy`

    There is literally not enough talk about City of God.

  • tOmy`
  • Sully
  • dollar store cashier wife

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ub2_hD0Roy8

    This is kinda ontopic and also fulfills our daily omitted quota.

  • tOmy`

    I am glad these things exist. It makes me happy for the world.

    People are wonderful.

  • tOmy`

    AND THIS IS ROMNEY! RICH FUCK ROMNEY!

    http://cdn3.freedomoutpost.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/mitt-romney.jpg

    AND THIS IS ALSO TAKING A LOT OF MY FOCUS FROM THE WORK! THANKS FURRY FOXY!

  • Sully

    WHY GAME OVER?!?!!?!!!!!

  • Jaws 2 – The Sharkening

    i want this game

  • Sully

    YOU’RE WELCOME!! YOU’RE BIG SPARKLY WELCOME!!

    http://dl.glitter-graphics.com/pub/2878/2878813doyw9obk1k.gif

  • Palpatine

    Am I the only who sees that comments are randomly disappearing again?

  • Sully

    No, but I’m getting comments that aren’t appearing at all in the feed, but show up in the notifications. Refreshing makes them appear though.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    huh? everybody circlejerks about it.

  • Jaws 5 – Jawsmentday
  • Jaws 5 – Jawsmentday
  • instant relief
  • Palpatine

    I blame Andrew.

  • Jaws 5 – Jawsmentday

    now there’s a ”blast from the past”

  • Jaws 5 – Jawsmentday

    will you please make a cameo in The Force Awakens, even if just a ghost. hell if Qui Gon can do it, you can. oh and bring Plinkett with you, would you, that would be great.

  • Sully

    It’s the only logical thing to do.

  • Palpatine

    Has he quit commenting here too?

  • Sully

    I dunno. I’ve been wondering where he’s been.

  • Doctor John Smith

    he is always here in spirit.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    You see much.

  • Sully
  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Like, what do you mean though? Do you like Braindead or Army of Darkness? Do they fall into horror? Because they are freaking’ ridiculously funny and may fall into the horror genre.

  • Doctor John Smith
  • instant relief

    I wanna make out with you. NOW!
    /moist

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gou9ss5QBX8

  • Palpatine

    Hmm, same grammar style, same generic white guy name, is that you Andrew?

  • Domo

    It’s here! My framed Space Cop Piece of Crap poster is finally here!

    Now, just need to decide if it should go up above the kitty litter box, next to the toilet paper dispenser, or above the trashcan in the pantry. So many choices!

    http://i.imgur.com/cFMwu2P.jpg?1

  • Is this now your most treasured possession?

  • Dead commenters following us perhaps… you following me?

  • instant relief

    Vacuum cleaner: ACTIVATE!

  • Sully

    There really is only one option…

    http://i.imgur.com/GUBFRbv.jpg

  • Domo

    I did have some beans last night, but those are gone now.

    So, yeah. I guess you could say that.

  • Domo

    Not even worthy of the recycle bin, huh? That’s harsh.

  • Brack to the Future

    Confirmed: Red Dead Redemption remaster followed by a new “AAA” prequel of Yojimbo style.

    Take that, haters!

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    In the closet, where no one will see it; just like the movie…

  • Sully

    The neighbor’s trash, too. Wouldn’t want people thinking it’s yours now, would you?

  • Brack to the Future

    Not randomly, only them that are of little consequence.

  • *AA

  • SuperJaws Vs Batshark

    BB

  • Sully

    *WTFF

  • Brack to the Future

    Well ah, I think that, uh the extra A adds ahh little more credibility. *jeff goldblum*

  • Was it a super patreon account deal or how did you manage this? Getting this… quality item, I mean.

  • Brack to the Future

    “Place it on thy fridge door as an amulet to fattery.” ~ Quoth the Richard of Evans

  • Brack to the Future

    So I heard Ashley Madison got hacked. Apparently it’s okay to cheat on your wife, Jeff?

  • Sully

    Well, that Duggar guy couldn’t mess with his sisters anymore, and his wife’s a prude, so… really… what were his options?

  • So I am watching Oliver Stones Alexander again after… I don’t know 5-10 years. It has a few things I really like and it has a grandiose cinema feel to it at times but I can’t believe he actually released it upon the world. Havent seen all of it. Took a 5 hour break. I’ll try to finish it tonight, maybe. Awgawd!

    My review in short: it sucks.

  • Brack to the Future

    Dude I had to Goog that shit, but that is messed up. Wow, I’m out of character, but that is so fucking wrong. Is this really a Thing?

  • SuperJaws Vs Batshark

    aye captain it does, like a lot

  • Sully

    It has a couple of things I like, too.

    http://kepfeltoltes.hu/130726/mr_bean_www.kepfeltoltes.hu_.png

    Joking aside, I found the movie rather enjoyable, especially the Director’s Cut.

  • Domo

    It can go right next to my fridge magnet of Spock, the friendliest resident on the Enterprise.

    http://scifiempire.net/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Star-Trek-2013-Video-Game-Cover-Chris-Pine-and-Zachary-Quinto.jpg

  • Sully

    I certainly hope it isn’t a thing, but yeah… That guy’s a scumbag.

  • I met Spock once. I said hello, he became angry and started yelling.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I wonder what’s in the kitty litter box…

    http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51QeJsA9nCL.jpg

  • Brack to the Future

    Gay Spock, or Not-Gay Gay Spock, I can’t keep so many dimensions in my head. That’s why interocitors were invented!

  • Domo

    Oh! They promoted the poster a few years ago through a regular video, before Patreon was available. I still think you can purchase the poster on their site. We just wanted to wait until the movie came out until the movie was released, and got tired of waiting.

  • SuperJaws Vs Batshark

    dude, he was probably like, holy fuck a talking toad, ya really can’t blame the guy really, now can i lick you back please 😛

  • Wizard Phoenix

    With Tom Cruise?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Perhaps it’s the comment version of the Collectors kidnapping comments in the thousands.

  • Brack to the Future

    Scumbag? He’s Hollywood Gold!

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Brack to the Future

    “I see dead feces.”
    ~ M Night Shyamalan’s career

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Dead feces IS his career. Get it right.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “This movie is a stinker”
    -Mike Stoklasa, hack fraud, 2013

  • Aw, cool. It’s actually one of the films I am really looking forward to. Strange to admit that but I also really enjoyed their other things they’ve made.

  • bleurgh

    They released about a hundred Australian government email addresses that were registered. Causing quite a stir down under.

  • Sure. Go ahead mr ehm Batshark… that’ll be 20 dollers.

  • Brack to the Future

    Alexander had a beloved hound who lived from his coming up all the way to his comeuppance. ATG was a brilliant and sincere individual, who at the core loved his dog.

  • Bubs

    “This Just In: People Like To Fuck! Scientists worldwide are baffled.”

    When did stuff like this become news? Humans are sad little ants.

  • Sums up history pretty good.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Western Ore Musical directed by The Coen Brothers, starring Daniel Day Lewis as Obsidian Jones.

  • SuperJaws Vs Batshark

    here’s 40, bend over 😛

  • Brack to the Future

    Babylon. Traded clay tablets for clay feet in the Information Age.

  • I loved the sense of realism and accurate portrayal of history that mr Stone talked about back in 2004. That plastic healmet sure looks good.

    http://i.imgur.com/agj6W7g.png

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Peter Jackson just facepalmed.

  • Brack to the Future

    THERE WILL BE BOREDOM!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    2,2,3,4,3,2,3,4

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    [fart]

  • Jaws

    lol

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *Pyrite

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    *ontopic orgasm

    I AM OMITTED!