F**k You, It’s January! (2017)

January 12, 2017275 Comments

It’s that magical time of year AGAIN! when Jay and Mike talk about the dumping ground that is January AGAIN! … and possibly more.

Filed in: Short FilmsUncategorized

  • Jaws

    Fuck you, it’s Forever.

  • Chomiq

    Dying young from brain cancer never felt so good.

  • I expect more dumping on Rogue One. It deserves some sloppy seconds.

  • Troll Prince The White

    Another reason to live??? It’s too much!!! I can take all the living!!!

  • kamiller42

    ENDLESS TRASH!

  • SqualrusWalrus

    please just kill me now. please end it.

  • Jaws

    That’s what she said.

  • Destroyer

    you guys are way too easy on marvel actually, didn’t even bring up infinity war in your list and your rogue one review kept bringing up how good marvel is, yuck, their films are so bland and generic, you hack frauds

  • Darkling

    Soft seaboots are the best kind of seaboots. Things I know.

  • Troll Prince The White

    This is all your fault.

  • Bamb0o_stick

    Everything is China’s fault now…

  • Omis

    Fuck you, It’s About Time. I’ve been waiting for this video.

  • I’m sure the RLM folk know this but for y’all comment people know that there are at least a few original movies coming out this year. We got Dunkirk, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, Baby Driver and The Beguiled.
    Actually, turns out only one of those is an original film. Whelp.

  • Bleurgh

    In my opinion, the Fast and Furious franchise was an example of a successful seaboot.

  • luvs2pwge✓Flyboy 1992-2017

    I admit I am excited for Baywatch

  • luvs2pwge✓Flyboy 1992-2017

    I have managed to never see a Fast and Retarded film in my life

  • luvs2pwge✓Flyboy 1992-2017

    fukc China

  • In what I am sure will be considered a true original there is that “The Boss Baby” movie… and now that I Google it… Fuuuuuu… Even that is based on a picture book…

  • Infinity War is 2018. So, that is most likely why they didn’t mention it.

  • Baby Driver?? Is that like… an infant driving a taxi cab?

  • Adez

    You hacks, they made 3 Wimpy kids movies

  • Studio Executive

    You don’t need to say “thank you,” you just need to buy tickets.

  • You mean sloppy fifths?

  • Black Santa

    Is this replacing Christmas or Crocodile?

  • It’s the new Edgar Wright film! And the only original film of the bunch, since Dunkirk is based on a real battle. Those Hollywood frauds can’t think of anything new!

  • Kaingerc

    ” ‘member Baywatch?!”

  • rikkibarnes

    A Dog’s Purpose: An emotionally manipulative piece of crap made solely to sell tickets to sniveling dog lovers who force their pups into tight sweaters they hate, and to dumb parents who take their kids to movies while they either nap or spend the entire time texting their friends with details on the dude/lady they’re banging behind their spouse’s back.

  • Steven Gibbs

    This sequel that makes fun of sequels makes me happy

  • Patrick Brian

    Valerian is a comic book

  • Yezzir!

    Dammit you clowns. I have watched this 5 times and I can’t stop. Assholes!

  • RLMkeepitup

    i am pleased at Mikes decent into madness in 2017

  • Jaws

    Dunkirk, because we’ve never made a movie about WW2 before, it’s gonna break new ground, it’s ahead of it’s time, it’s gonna be great.

  • durhay

    January the Pain Away

  • Brian Levine

    I live by Rodrick’s rules.

  • Brian Levine

    I hear that there’s a sequel to The Phantom Menace coming out. That can only go downhill.

  • Brian Levine

    So it’s 95 minutes of a canine repeatedly peeing in the one spot you don’t want it to go, and sniffing other dog’s crotches?

  • The only way I remember Bay Watch is that when that theme song started, it was time to change the channel.

  • XXX: Return of Xander Cage: For when conspiracies that reach to the highest levels of world government can only be resolved by a 49 year old man performing rad tricks on a skateboard, and the current accepted Hollywood lesbian stereotype (an attractive young woman with dyed hair and a high level of competence in engineering or hacking).

    Also (and I may be old fashioned), I believe that a dog’s true purpose is to bring slippers and newspapers to his human owners, to tear out the throats of home intruders, and to savage ‘unopened and still in mint condition’ original Star Wars action figures in retaliation for being named Greedo.

  • Beckoning Chasm

    That was really well edited.

  • jimmy

    Not to nitpick, but that will be the 4th Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie. I know cause my little kid watches the first 3. I’d be stoked if Peyton List was in this one, but its been recast.

  • jimmy

    I posted this before I read yours. But I’ll comment on the most important part — Peyton List. But won’t be in the 4th one because they recast-ed everyone.

  • BlisterSlim

    XXX looks amazingly hilarious.

    Also Dog’s Purpose was filmed in my hometown so I’m probably gonna see it just for that reason.

  • frankelee

    I don’t know why they’d trash the 5th or 6th movie in the Resident Evil series… IT BROKE NEW GROUND!

  • Hauling Them Rathtars

    Lesbians in Texas:
    [ ] attractive
    [ ] young
    [x] dyed hair
    [x] high
    [ ] competent in engineering

  • Hauling Them Rathtars

    I remember it because it was time to make sure my bedroom door was locked.

  • Cakefarts

    Don’t blame me for the state of movies. I haven’t been to one in so long I can’t remember what it was. It has been over ten years. I steal everything I watch.

  • Galactic Shawn

    I’m one of the people who didnt get killed this year but now that I see what movies are coming out……..

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Yes sir!

  • Siggy

    I was, but then saw the trailer. Yikes.

  • jmt

    I like you’re calling out Sony shit.

    That Ghostbusters fiasco needs a more enduring punishment than the abject failure of one movie.

  • Crixxxx

    You forgot the new Adam Sandler/Kevin James/Rob Schneider/Nick Swardson/Terry Crews comedy, “Sandy Wexler,” about a talent manager and his wacky assortment of washed-up clients. Totally not a sequel, prequel, reboot or remake. So, I’m sure you’ll love it.

  • HorseyFace

    Monster Trucks is clearly a brilliant and original new IP you hacks.

  • Nerd Dweebus

    *covers eyes* Oh pleeeeease don’t judge me you guys! I wanna see the moooovies!

  • Bob

    That snippet from the Alien: Covenant trailer looked suspiciously like a scene from The Killer Eye on Best of the Worst.

    And what would you call a sequel reboot to Das Boot?

  • luvs2pwge✓

    what are you? a homo?

  • Forrest Shane Whaley

    WTF

  • Harry_Jamieson

    Well that was fucking depressing. Of the.

  • ENDLESS TRASH!
    Mike and Jay, don’t forget CHiPs: The Movie in theaters March 2017. Because that’s a thing the kids remember. From the 1970s. Remember California Highway Patrol motorcycle cops ‘Ponch’ and Jon? Remember??
    Check the YooToobz for the awful trailer.

  • Death Ray

    Oh Christ I needed that.

  • DeadWife

    STAR WARS 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15…

  • Karl Marinier

    Of course! I’ts a WW2 movie about the Allies loosing! How original is that! Alot!

  • Ernest Aquilio

    This was fantastic trash of the. I needed this laugh, thanks guys.

  • Mongo_the_GoofyBastard

    They broke new grouund!

  • Can we get Pogs: The Movie too?

  • maikimo

    ‘everyone is pissed off that mary jane is black now–even though mary jane isn’t in the movie’. wait, what?

  • maikimo

    pogs was an early 90s fad. you’re going to have to wait at least 4-5 more years before we arc into that territory. wait, actually, ‘starsky and hutch’ came out in the early 00s, so that means the 70s reprisal should be in its second phase, and the 90s nostalgia should be on its way out but the 80s soundtracks are still in play as long as people born in the 70s have a say and disregard the fact that the 70s reboots aren’t actually 70s reboots but hyper stylized 00 remakes with a 70s aesthetic utilizing an 80s soundtrack to appease the 90s kids.

    FUCKING MILLENIALS GOD FUCKING DAM–

  • victorinus

    Mike went a little That Poppy during the Baywatch part

  • maikimo

    anyone else see the trailer for ‘wonder woman’ and think ‘wow, this is just “captain america” with a woman’?

  • Jordan littler

    The Alien covenant trailer reminds me of the Assasins Creed games. It looks a bit different, has different people in it but is probably going to be exactly what you expect.

  • Garym

    Well, knowing what crap Hollywood produces these days, the CHiPs officers will probably be fish belly white men who constantly harass “people of color.”

  • bernverdnardo

    Well I’m hoping Blade Runner 2 will be good. I’m guessing Mike and Jay are too since they didn’t mention it.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    YAY, IT’S JANUARY JAY AND MIKE FUCK US, EACH AND EVERYONE!

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Not De Coteau’s finest work, but it will be far more entertaining than the new Alien. For the record Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-a-rama, Shrieker, Alien Arsenal, Puppet Master 3, and Dreamaniac are among his masterworks. All of his “Twink in trouble” films are weird too.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Why didn’t they just reboot the Bigfoot and the Muscle Machines cartoon series from the 80s?

  • First off – we are now at the point when basically anything made anytime can now be made into a movie/rebooted etc. There are no rules. Anything goes. Secondly – with the millenials thing – are you like over 30? I’m surprised actually that these guys even bank so hard on that term because thinking about it these guys are only like one generational gap removed from me as my 30s are now fast approaching – and yet I fall into this “millenial” category because of when I reached adulthood? I’m sure there’s some satire involved when they say it but to be honest I’m getting a little sick of everyone blaming everything on some infantile age category.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I have to say, I love this review. 11 out of 10. What I really love is the action and vistas.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I bet it will be as good as Space Cop II.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    They gotta put the bodies somewhere.
    **slide whistle**

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Re: Das Boot, would it be a soft Das Boot reboot?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    It’s based on an unproduced screenplay by Andrei Tarkovsky.

  • Nah dude, anything goes now. Any era, any single thing ever that people remember – can now be a movie. There are no rules. Also I kind of wish everyone on this site would stop banking on the whole “millenial” thing. I’m kind of surprised Mike and Jay even bring it up that much, they barely escape the mark to be lumped in with the rest of them. I’m sure there’s some satire there, but I just find it a little tiring. “Millenials” this, “millenials” that, it sounds like a classic case of scapegoating.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    A put-you-to-sleeper hit of the season!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    May I have another?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    You know there’s a thing called porn. Don’t settle for clothed boobs in slow motion like SJW snowflake Breitbart mouth-breather. Because, um, America!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Dunkink is about a bunch of British soldiers fleeing the European continent. So it’s like a Brexit prequel?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    A Taxi Driver prequel starring Robert DeNiro?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Someone tell Christopher Nolan his artistic talent declared an unconditional surrender a few years back.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Infinity War? Don’t we have that now in the Middle East?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Action and vistas! GeekCrate!

  • RLMkeepitup

    not sure half of those ‘films’ need a review, no wonder booze became an RLM food group

  • Total and unconditional surrender.

  • Hauling Them Rathtars

    Same here. And Star Wars VIII.

  • Jaws

    Although, these movies are so bad, booze may not be enough, we may have to resort to crack cocaine.

  • RLMkeepitup

    and people complained 2016 was bad, wait till they get a nose load of 2017

  • Anyone else think the Alien movie looks like it’s getting some of its ideas from Species?

    Oh my god, I bet there’s a soft reboot of Species coming along soon. It will be darker and grittier, and also gender-flipped.

  • The protagonist will defeat the alien-man by shooting him in the dick while triumphantly yelling “THE RESISTANCE!”

    Then, in a post-credits scene, we learn that Natasha Hentsridge’s character Sil regenerated after supposedly being destroyed in the first movie. She uses remnants of the alien-man’s dick to impregnate herself. This sets up a sequel in which her offspring, entering puberty, try to cope with their dad never being there for them, and also being bloodthirsty aliens driven to mate, then kill. It will be called Specieshood, and take 12 years to make.

    Also, even though Natasha Hentsridge looks perfectly fine for 42, digital effects will be used to de-age her back to 21 in the post-credits scene. When audiences complain this looks creepy and weird, the studio will claim that was on purpose.

  • Plinkett’s working on Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace Review: Special Edition: Review One: A Star Wars Review Story

  • Spoiler tag that!!

  • Geez when is he going to grow into a Wimpy Adult already?

  • Commander X

    Mr. Bauman’s delivery on this line was perfect:

    “Vin Diesel is back in the most anticipated movie of two-thousand FOOOUUUR”

  • Lute Hende

    It has similarities (Prometheus and Species are both about gens and
    human transformation) but my guess is the basic idea was simply “what if
    black goo ends up in natur”. What we saw was a black goo infected
    mushroom and it’s spores what lead very likely to the
    mutation/zombiefication of the one dude locked up together with the
    woman. We are still just in Prometheus territory I think.

  • Lute Hende

    French people? -_-

  • Lute Hende

    “Das Wrack”

  • Lute Hende

    Hasselhoff breast hair fetish?

  • Jaws

    You really have a thing for dicks don’t you, but hey who doesn’t.

  • Spoiled Ants

    Judging by Prometheus and this the trailer, it’s pretty clear that Ridley Scott has no f****** clue what made the first Alien a classic. The guy just puts some sex scenes and mixes it with some icky stuff and then calls it a day.
    The Prometheus/Alien franchise now looks more like it belongs to the Friday 13th universe.
    They should just go ahead and do “Jason X v Xenomorph smileyface” and be done with it.
    The new trailer doesn’t look any better than “Alien Vs Predator 2” and I remember that movie had a scene where a Predator orally impreganates a pregnant lady. That’s just the kind of empty shock value that Scott is doing lately.

  • Spoiled Ants

    This episode was alright but it reminded me of the anual “Todd & Aaron Game Awards” sketch which are way funnier since they’ve been killing it the last 3 years.
    I’m sorry guys….

    edit:
    wait, nobody is reading this anyway…. no, i take it back, I’m not.

  • Spoiled Ants

    But she has not only a shield but a swooooord, which makes up for the lack of color in her outfit. And since she has a rope too I expect some serious BDSM scenes in this one, it’s the gritty and dark DC universe after all.

  • Hauling Them Rathtars

    You, too?! Mmmm-hmm!

  • Brian Levine

    Dang it! When is the Archie movie coming out?

  • CygnusA81

    Okay guys, I love you again.

  • tOmy`

    This was brilliant in so many ways that I counted two.

  • tOmy`

    FOR SHAME!

  • tOmy`

    It was actually successful in sucking less than the whole Star Wars franchise by this point.

  • Bleurgh

    They might be retarded, but as soon as they stopped being afraid of seeming retarded, dropped their dramatic aspirations and embraced their stupidity they became great.

  • tOmy`

    *work of art

  • Frank Lovejoy

    I know everyone thinks saying the movies suck now is some “hip, edgy” position, or “trying to get clicks”, or “trying to act different to stand out” or some nonsense … but how can anyone defend the current situation?

    There really is nothing to go see.

    The only slight positive is that TV has so much more content that you can occasionally find something halfway decent. But having a focused, intelligent, enjoyable movie-going experience seems to be mostly a thing of the past.

  • rikkibarnes

    Here’s a real spoiler: Dennis Quaid dies at the end, and then he gets reincarnated as Randy Quaid. It all comes full circle.

  • Oh my god.

  • I basically agree with this post. I hate it when my opinion feels/sounds like a hipster opinion, but like I’m not going to change it just because of that implication.

  • luvs2pwge✓

    I’ll survive

  • Showbiz Pizza Bear

    I’m waiting for the Harry and the Hendersons reboot to get the green light. Harry is a personal friend of mine and he needs the work.

  • DRP103

    The Dark Tower. Original Stephen King material that isn’t IT. Forgot that one didn’t you,,,,or did you???? You left it out on purpose. Don’t lie.

    A reboot of Stephen King’s Maximum Overdrive would be nice. And since the original was pretty bad, it kinda makes sense. Lots and lots of new and deadly technology to choose from now…..instead of a COKE machine that spits out cans right to the groin.

  • Christian432

    Let me guess, you were mad at them for disliking Rogue One, because you liked it, and they didn’t…

    Wow

  • RiverDevil

    You mean a 2nd reboot of Maximum Overdrive

  • RiverDevil

    Can Space Cop II please be a gritty film noir take on the content as was promised in the original trailer, before they made it a buddy cop action film

  • LincolnHawksBaseballCap

    I personally loved this trailer, it was darker then Empire

  • Annegreat

    Happy fuck you, too! <3

  • RLMkeepitup

    they’re already rebooting predator but your pal kevin peter hall is not involved

  • RLMkeepitup

    with the passing of Batty, would be cool to see a Re:view of exorcist III

  • Charon

    “Is she with you?”

    “I thought she was with you.”

  • Kelsie

    At the end when Mike said “boy oh boy, I can’t wait” and they both looked cheerfully upwards, I fully expected a couple of nooses to be lowered into frame above their heads.

  • Thanatos

    So is the purpose of A Dog’s Purpose that they can tragically kill the dog multiple times for maximum emotional manipulation?

  • That’s what I was wondering – like is the plot that this kid’s dog keeps dying horribly over and over again and he has no idea it’s the same dog that keeps coming back? That’s kind of dark for a kids movie when you think about it. From what I could tell from the images behind Mike’s voice, I seemed to get a vibe that the dog was trying to either A) impress his owner therefore putting himself in harm’s way or B) was just very unlucky. Either way, all the kid would know is that EVERYTHING HE LOVES ALWAYS DIES. Which is why if it’s A) – that’s actually really fucked up of that reincarnated spirit. Stop killing yourself in front of that poor kid.

  • That would’ve been clever.

  • Jaws

    Not a bad movie, good acting, Brad Dourif is excellent in it, I’ve pretty much always liked him.

  • Jaws

    I recently watched that again, was actually very good.

  • Pocket

    Isn’t every movie technically based on an unproduced screenplay?

  • Bruce

    Welp, movies suck now but at least we have great companies like EA and Activision in video games who have done a great job improving their acquisitions like Bioware and wonderful sequels like Call of Duty.

    Help us CDPR you are our only hope. Can you make movies to?

  • DRP103

    Lots of good TV

  • Matt Bell

    Never heard of these Todd and Aaron guys, so I checked them out….instantly wished I hadn’t. I listened to two douchebags screaming for 60 seconds, so I decided to fast forward to see if that was just schtick to start out. Nope, halfway through the video, still screaming. RLM kills these guys.

  • Showbiz Pizza Bear

    Sadly, he hasn’t been involved in much of anything for some time….

  • Showbiz Pizza Bear

    They’ll include that in next year’s soft seaboot of “F*ck You, It’s January!”.

  • rashad1

    Best line and acting “This is all your fault”

  • Joe Syxpac

    It’s actually a thinly veiled narrative about Michael Vick.

  • bernverdnardo

    Obviously made by someone who never had dogs or noticed they all have different personalities.

  • DanceOfBirther

    I just noticed how weird Mike’s ears are.

  • Mikkel Rasmussen

    Ow fuck…. it’s forever 🙁

  • Dustin Scarsdale

    Oh YOU!…

    You….You…fuckers!

  • fred

    I just noticed how weird ears are.

  • fred

    It’s not my fault !
    Remember that bit? That bit was great. Really tied the movie together.

  • Jaws

    RLM is back! Back to being funny again. And that’s great.

  • Darkling

    It’s an upcoming TV series on The CW called Riverdale. I’m not even kidding. =/

  • Darkling

    Remember pogs? They’re back. In pog form.

  • Spoiled Ants

    Huh, I expected the whole world to like this video, because the more people like it the more it validates me as a person.
    That you or others didn’t like it deeply saddens me. Oh boy, how am I gonna sleep tonight?

  • Matt Bell

    Triggered much?

  • Spoiled Ants

    yeah, it takes a day though since I’m a slow person.

  • fred

    Kevin from We Need to Talk About Kevin should be villain of the week in Green Arrow.

  • Gavin Callaghan

    I thought the XXX movies and the Fast and Furious movies were both the same series.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    Does anybody know the name of this movie: it’s recent, it’s about a man and a woman in a car driving in the desert, they run out of gas or the car breaks down. Two rednecks come to ‘help’ them and decide to wait for them to die. They get into a battle of wits and the couple steal the redneck’s keys and hide them, then they fight over water …

    It’s not Breakdown.

    Thanks.

  • Duckler

    And to think that this came out before that CHIPS trailer.. Remember 21 Jump St without enough blatant dick jokes?

  • My ears just got really self-conscious all of a sudden.

  • That other guy

    The sad part here is that even if people who are critical of the movie industry just don’t go to the theater anymore (thus less money to the Hollywood executives bankrolling all this “copy/paste things people like into movies for better box-office numbers” bullsh*t), it won’t stop the average person who just sees things they like so they gravitate toward it.

    I hate to use the “average Joe” model, but really the average person doesn’t know, let alone care to understand, the problem with Hollywood. As such, they just continue to consume what they see as “I should like that”, “I like elements of that”, or “that’s a thing I’m a fan of”. They may not like one of the Marvel movies, remakes, reboots, or whatever for X,Y,or Z reason(s), but they’ll still go see the next one, and the next one, and the next one because it’s a big staple of pop-culture everyone talks about around the office water-cooler. So no matter how poor and ham-handed the movies get, people will still go see them time after time.

    Filmmakers who care about film need to find a way to reach wider audiences, which is not nearly as hard to do today as it was 20 years ago. Find more people to watch and promote your stuff. If that happens, eventually Hollywood will get so bogged down in the miasma of reboots, remakes, and board-room-committee-created-movies that they’ll have to change their tune. Otherwise, they’ll go broke. Hollywood will chase that dollar every time.

    *steps off soap-box*

  • Eucratides_Megas

    I shall now paraphrase Alan Shepard’s prayer with regards the Dark Tower: “Dear lord, please don’t let them fuck up. Amen.”

    They can do shitty remakes of It, the Shining and every other Stephen King property until they’re blue in the face of autoerotic asphyxiation, but the Dark Tower deserves to be great. It needs to be great.

  • Eucratides_Megas

    I was just relieved that I wasn’t the only one who found some big flaws in the movie. I enjoyed it but on a purely fanboy-ish level. I admit to really enjoying seeing X-wings and AT-ATs and Star Destroyers going pew pew and making things explode.

    But as a movie it was egregiously flawed in many, many ways. People saying its the best after Empire—or better than the Force Awakens—are just plain wrong.

  • the_great_laertes

    Ooh, I ‘member!

  • RLMkeepitup

    the same problem with fast food. but likewise if i don’t eat or watch these products it doesnt bother me. its a bummer though the RLM audience at large may not even see most of the films they have to talk about

  • goodmatt10 1

    Gotta confess, I’m gonna go see the “Pirates” movie, it’s just a thing now, took my niece and sister to the first one, now it’s tradition, so, keep um coming!

  • RLMkeepitup

    hold on your yer booty then

  • Thanatos

    Well, there used to be a Witcher TV series…..

  • Lol wtf. I just looked that up. I’m guessing there’s some legitimate reason why I haven’t heard of this? Was it bad?

  • Thanatos

    I’m guessing it was like…Beastmaster production quality.

  • fred

    TRA DI TIOOOOOOOOON !!

  • fred

    You can’t equate what the public likes with good art. When I was in highschool no one would shut the fuck up about the human centipede.

  • fred

    Mcdonalds is good for instant affordable protein injections.

  • fred

    Or is it that a kid dies and switches souls with the doggie and vice versa…

  • Duckler

    Everyone on the internet hates everything.

  • john smith

    Fuck you it’s Janurary is the most magical time of the year! *close up on priceless face*

  • Lute Hende

    *carbohydrates* injection. It’s all about carbohydrates there. Even in the salad is a ton of sugar. The little bit of meat you get there does not count really compared to that.

  • gerberbaby1958

    Fuck YOU guys!

  • Jerome Gorden

    Ya, I’m probably going to see Spiderman and…to be honest..Friday 13th part 13 (bows head in disgrace). Damn you Hollywood!#$# stop dangling that shiny object in front of me.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I can’t wait for the new xXx movie! Wait, I’m not in 2004!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    That was a rather unorthodox choice for a high school marching band routine.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Absinthe and jelly donuts. The breakfast of champions.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    A sleeper hit for the season!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Batty died at the end of Blade Runner. Blatty had his soul dragged into Hell by Linda Blair.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I enjoyed the action and vistas. GeekCrate!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Harry and the Trinity Killer’s Family. I’d go see it.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Man, I love content! Almost as much as things and stuff!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Marvel presents Archie vs. Punisher. Screenplay by the Duplass Brothers and Cameron Crowe.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    That’s what Breitbart and the alt-right are for. Without their enlightened guidance, we wouldn’t know which non-inbred pasty white shut-ins masturbating to Mein Kampf and anime to hate. Amirite?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Species had more bewbs.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Fifty Shades of Wonder Woman.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Do you know how jokes work?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    It’s being released through GeekCrate-brand mobile suicide booths.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    In the Katyn Forest?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    The “that’s what she said” line by an edgy tattooed lesbian. Talk about high concept!*

    *As in the Hollywood exec was high on cocaine at the time.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Is this part of the Disney Marvel Wimpy Kid Cinematic Universe?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Perhaps someone stole the secret recipe to Surge?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Is this some meta joke about the Ted Cruz presidential campaign?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Baywatch bounces back as it keeps abreast of 90s nostalgia. Excuse me, this news makes me titter. I’m such a boob.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Dairy of a Wimpy Kid: the Donald Trump Story, starring Fred Stoller.

  • I don’t do meta.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Like the American electorate?

  • fred

    badum tsssssssss

  • fred

    Their double cheeseburgers are alright.

  • Bubs

    When’s the next episode of anything at all, you lazy hacks?

  • Crixxxx

    And then try to revive the dogs with water despite having serious injuries like in Cop Dog.

  • Jaws

    Don’t worry, new episode of Pre-Rec coming soon.

  • RLMkeepitup

    dagnabitz

  • RLMkeepitup

    oh my gaawd. it can’t come soon enough -notwhatshesaid

  • A Dog’s Purpose is the soft sea-boot to Cop Dog.

  • Predator/Harry and the Henderson’s Cinematic Universe.

  • He could try auditioning as a Wookie.

    I hear Disney’s still looking for someone to play Itchy Bacca in a soft reboot of The Star Wars Holiday Special.

  • Bleurgh

    Over half your eligible voters didn’t vote. I mean, you KNOW that a significant amount of people are stupid right?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Edit faster, RLM!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    January, or in everyday English: Awards-bait Afterbirth.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Of course a significant amount of people are stupid. Why do you think most people oppose doing away with the Electoral College? Then the person with the most votes would actually be President. The fuck is that all about?

  • Thanatos

    A “put your dog to sleep”er hit.

  • I CAN’T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN FEEL THE ANEURYSM ALREADY!!

  • Joe Syxpac

    Fuck You, it’s January isn’t a working holiday.

  • Frank Lovejoy

    [record scratch]
    Seriously?!

  • Bleurgh

    We also have an electorate based system in Australia. Last year the coalition won despite the opposition receiving more votes.

  • Bruce

    Geek Culture already slobbering over the new Logan trailer. Looks like Rich Evans endorsements everywhere. “It’s a better film than other X-Men movies because it’s darker. And because this film is darker, that means it’s more important.”

  • RLMkeepitup

    aren’t they walking back the R rating hype? how dark can it be

  • LincolnHawksBaseballCap

    Yes….Hang on my NerdBox just arrived and it’s got AT-ST’s! AT-ST’s!

  • And another inappropriate usage of the beautiful song Hurt (though I much prefer the NIN original).

  • goodmatt10 1

    I’ll probably watch F13th when I can get it online, I have a loyalty to that series but not gonna pay theater price for it. You gonna sit “Skull Island”? It actually looks good.

  • goodmatt10 1

    Well, to be fair, it’s a business at the end of the day. Keeping a studio profitable is very difficult, think of bankrolling a 200mill dollar pic and then it flops, couple of those are gonna put your lights out.

    I know it’s easy from our perspective to say “Just make good movies” but you have to understand for the people fronting the money all they see is numbers, and if they can make quick, safe profits that is what they will do.

  • Yezzir!

    eeeendlessss traaaash!!!!

  • fred

    When the reactions are usually more interesting than the game itself, it’s not much of a sport. I’m looking at you soccer.

  • Commander X

    Professor X uses the work “fucking” so it must be pretty dark indeed.

  • LameSame

    It’s been one week since you looked at me
    Cocked your head to the side
    and said I’m angry

  • Pop Culture Reference

    What about a sequel to The Hottie and the Nottie? Isn’t Hollywood planning it as part of launching a Hotting and Nottie Cinematic Universe?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “A movie so dark you’ll have a hard time finding your seat!”

  • Pop Culture Reference

    *soap-box becomes part of Marvel Cinematic Universe*

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Taylor Swift doesn’t have ears. She just has Sonic Collection Ports installed by her Cthulhu Illuminati Replicant Overlords. Ya know, the ones at Sony who had their emails leaked.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “This is all your fault” will be the foundation of my 2020 campaign to run for president.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Sponsored by a chocolate company.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    And all those personalities are Dog: The Bounty Hunter.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    My items from LootCrate have become increasingly depressing, despite them being “amazing” and “curated.”

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I show up at the movie theater extra early so I can catch the latest exclusive content!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Now I need to prepare my Cameron Mitchell cosplay.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    But can the editorial staff at Breitbart really act?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Germans dig manly chest thatch.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Those clowns at RLM did it again. What a bunch of clowns.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    But Immortan Joe will make Australia great again!

  • RLMkeepitup

    think of the poor children in the dark empty cinemas

  • Jerome Gorden

    It’s like repeatedly kicking a dead corpse.

  • Jerome Gorden

    Online might be the better option. The last Friday remake was terrible. “The Nightmare on Elm Street” remake was unwatchable. I hated that movie almost as much as the prequels.

  • Lute Hende

    how could I forget that??!?!!!!

  • When I was younger I did in fact watch Triple X 2 starring Ice Cube. I wasn’t into “goodbad” movies at the time, but one scene will always stick out to me as one of the funniest things I have ever seen. There’s a scene, right? Where Ice Cube is in pursuit of a train… I don’t remember why but he is both chasing it and shooting at it out of his car. At one point when he runs out of road he actually ramps up onto the train tracks, the rubber tears off his tires, sparks start flying everywhere, and he starts riding ALONG the rails with his car while shooting machine guns the entire time. I don’t even know where to begin..

  • goodmatt10 1

    For sure, like I say tho, it’s just kind of a thing, I will watch it somewhere at some point for the heck of it, but I won’t pay for it.

  • Whiskey Jack: Lord of Pith

    Biggest surprise twist ever: M. Night Shamalama made a good horror film…in January!

  • Seth

    where’s mah new content you suckas?

  • That other guy

    I understand what you’re saying up to a point. Where I differ is rather than shelling out $200 million for another “Transformers” that nobody gives a crap about, why not make a bunch of smaller movies by more proven directorial and writing teams? Even Mike and Jay have said the same before in previous episodes of “Half in the Bag”.

  • That other guy

    I was never talking about “art”. I was talking about entertainingly good movies that don’t insult my intelligence. Look at films like the original “Ghostbusters” (1984), for the time it was a special effects masterpiece, but it was the actors and director that made that movie such a classic. That film was never intended as “art”.

  • goodmatt10 1

    Do those cost 200mill? I guess they send out “feelers” and if the buzz is saying enough will come see another one they do it.

    They get it wrong plenty of times.

    Believe me, I wish they would take more chances, but for example, back in High School a film came out called “Last of the Mohicans”, I love it, sadly it didn’t do so great at the box office.

    It wasn’t a huge flop, but it wan’t a smash hit either. Studios just aren’t going to take that kind of risk very often.

  • Pretty shitty robot music if you ask me.

  • fred

    Do you know what art is? Art and entertainment are not two separate entities. Good art is supposed to suck you in — like Ghostbusters.

  • I was paid $104k in 2016 by doing an online job and I did it by work­ing part-time for 3 or sometimes more hours every day. I was following work opportunity I found on-line and I am thrilled that i made so much money on the side. It’s very newbie-friendly and I’m so blessed that i learned about it. Check out what I do… STATICTAB.COM/8cx4rgs

  • alta.lovell@mail.ru

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  • maria.brown.94@list.ru

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  • I got paid 104000 dollars in last 12 months by doing an on-line job from my house a­n­d I did that by wo­rking part-time f­­o­­r 3+ h each day. I followed a money making model I stumbled upon from this website i found online and I am so thrilled that i made so much extra income. It’s so beginner-friendly and I’m just so thankful that I found out about this. This is what i did… STATICTAB.COM/msxjhtx

  • I’ve profited 104000 dollars last year by doing an on-line job a­n­d I did that by w­orking part-time for 3 or sometimes more h /day. I used an earning opportunity I was introduced by this website i found on-line and I am excited that i was able to make so much money. It’s so newbie friendly and I’m just so thankful that i found this. This is what i did… STATICTAB.COM/gpfvgtj

  • I have earned 104,000 bucks last year by doing an on-line job and I manage to earn that much by w­orking part time f­o­r 3 or sometimes more hrs /day. I was following an earning opportunity I stumbled upon from company that i found online and I am so amazed that i made such great money. It’s very user friendly a­n­d I’m so thankful that i discovered this. Here is what i do… STATICTAB.COM/owgxpdb

  • tipton.regina

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  • I was paid $104,000 in last 12 months by freelancing from my house a­­n­­d I did it by w­orking part time for 3+ hours /daily. I followed a money making opportunity I came across from company that i found online and I am happy that I was able to earn such great money. It’s so beginner-friendly a­­n­­d I am just so happy that I found out about this. This is what i did…STATICTAB.COM/astkxim

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  • I’ve made 104 thousand dollars in last 12 months by doing an on-line job from my house a­n­d I did that by wor­king in my own time f­o­r 3+ hrs each day. I used an earning model I came across from this website i found online and I am thrilled that I was able to earn so much extra income. It’s really newbie friendly and I’m just so grateful that i discovered this. Here’s what I do… please visit my account for webpage

  • Brian Levine

    It’s 2017! Where’s Space Cop 2: Dinosaurs in Space?

  • Darn Tootin

    “Endless Trash!” Yeah, I think I’m just about done going to movie theaters for the rest of my life.

  • susan.thorp@mail.ru

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  • michael_riggs@mail.ru

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  • I got paid $104000 last year by doing an online job a­n­d I was able to do it by wor­king in my own time f­o­r 3 or sometimes more hours each day. I used an earning model I stumbled upon from company that i found online and I am thrilled that i earned so much money. It’s very newbie-friendly a­n­d I’m so grateful that I found out about it. This is what i did… http://www.wzurl­.­me/qRID1Q

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