Best of the Worst: Wheel of the Worst #9

August 22, 20152,315 Comments

Jim and Colin from Canada are back to help spin the Wheel of the Worst yet again. What magic awaits them????

Filed in: Best of the Worst

  • Jonah Falcon

    I hope they use my videos…

  • Jonah Falcon

    Man, those visual effects put Theodore Rex to shame!

  • Lilgreenman

    And suddenly my day stops being the worst I’ve had in months. Gonna curl up with a nice joint and enjoy myself some fraudulent hackery.

  • Jonah Falcon

    I’ve massaged pussies before, but not a cat.

  • Sully

    5st… in your anus!!

  • Domo

    Who would’ve though that Rich Evans would have the nicest beard at the BOTW/WOTW table. Never in all my years would I have ever imagined that.

  • Jonah Falcon

    It’s two segments… for her pleasure.

  • Lilgreenman

    No one asked for your opinons, Joaquin Phoenix.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Sevenrd!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ah! My fake friends are back to not watch crap with me!

  • Pop Rivets

    Good iteration, no Jack.

  • Jonah Falcon

    So, that backyard stunts tapes says “FUCK YOU, THESE STUNTS *SHOULD* BE TRIED AT HOME!!!”

  • Jonah Falcon

    “Safe Penis Handling” is my next instruction video for those guys who don’t know how to utilize their penises correctly if they’re 12+”.

  • Jonah Falcon

    America Online on the Internet has the best title graphics EVER!

    AOL 2.5! Wow. I remember that version.

    I miss the old AOL interface.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Jonah Falcon

    WTF? Another tape flew off? Guys, attach those tapes better.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Stop commenting so fast, you hack fraud. You’ll end up like Andrew or Omitted.

  • Jonah Falcon

    Randy Butcher is still doing stuntwork – he’s doing stunts (and is stunt coordinator) for Suicide Squad. He’s paid his dues, he’s been in a lot of shitty B-movies.

    OH MY GOD, SHE’S MORE TERRIFYING WITHOUT HER CLOWN MAKEUP!!!!!

    SHE CAN’T SAY NO!!!!!

    She’s scary with the clown outfit too.

    MAKE IT STOP!!!!

  • TheManHole

    My hack fraud senses are tingling to the RLMobial!

  • Jonah Falcon

    Tell me about your Wendy’s ad.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What? I’m an Oscar nominated actor. What are you talking about?

  • Sully

    He thinks he can worm his way onto the Wall of Shame.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ohhh.

  • Great, now I can stay awake till 3:30 AM.

  • Jonah Falcon

    What is the Wall of Shame?

  • Can I be nextrd?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    A liar like you would know.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m sorry, not yet a fly.

  • Jonah Falcon

    Liar?

  • Check your eyes, that’s not @wizardphoenix:disqus.

  • Robert Andersson

    It’s for older Chinese immigrants living in the U.S. & Canada you hacks.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well you know the old saying Cameron Mitchell said.

  • Jonah Falcon

    Actually, AOL was international – by 1998 they had 34M worldwide subscribers.

  • Percy Gryce

    WTF! There’s not a @percygryce2:disqus video on the WOTW. The streak is broken. This is unacceptable. This episode is NOT PERCY GRYCE APPROVED.

    I’m outta here.

  • Evan Witt

    The wheel totally changes directions at 11:25.

    First Mike’s sound issue on the last video, and now this? Hack frauds!

  • Jonah Falcon

    Cameron Mitchell said so many things;. Are you talking about when he recited “The Raven” in Frankenstein Island?

    I do know what the dormouse said.

  • Jonah Falcon

    They do it… family style. (porn wakka-chi-wakka)

  • You know what they say, “always show contempt for your audience”.

  • Jonah Falcon

    Where’s the scary music for that clown? She’s Bagul’s ex-wife.

  • Percy Gryce

    It ain’t right, it ain’t right.

  • RLMkeepitup

    no one should take credit for any of those vhs’s

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    don’t worry about it… these guys think they’re still on reddit…

  • Percy Gryce

    nØ0β

  • Sully

    Abso2tely!

  • Palpatine

    Finally!

  • RLMkeepitup

    Is the repetition of number 9 in the thumbnail a reference to something?

  • Jonah Falcon

    “Revolution #9”.

  • Jonah Falcon
  • Percy Gryce

    Why the hate for AIDS Moby?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Jim made a TNG reference instead of Mike!

  • RLMkeepitup

    too dense for me

  • Percy Gryce

    “It’s not homoeroticism.”–Jim from Canadia.

    Uh-hm.

  • Jonah Falcon

    That’s what Beatles fans said.

  • Matthew Cooper

    America Online for Internet. Rich was right – it’s in Chinese. Cantonese, though, not Mandarin.

  • TheManHole

    You mean I shouldn’t be fapping to this?

  • Sparkles Peterson

    Was Rich’s call in Cantonese or Mandarin?

  • Domo

    Rich was speaking Richarin.

  • Percy Gryce
  • Hank_Henshaw

    That was one fucked up WotW. It really lived up to its “torture device for the modern age” reputation.

  • Domo

    You guys didn’t go far enough in enough places.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Can you translate the SOS box?

  • TheManHole
  • Sevi

    Eloise was abandoned by her birth parents and adopted into a fascinating but
    dysfunctional family. She grew up with multiple challenges that tested
    her ability to survive, both physically and emotionally.

    In 1975, Eloise married a young widower named Elwood Cole who had four teenage
    children. Two of the four, Mark and Dan, had a life
    threatening neuromuscular disease and were
    quadriplegic. This new family of six pulled together
    and became a tight family unit.

    Mark, the oldest, managed to live off campus while
    studying at the local University when he suddenly
    suffered a cardiac arrest and died. While Mark was
    very ill, he had been considered the healthiest of the
    two boys and his death was not expected at that time.

    A few months prior to Mark’s death, Eloise’s father
    had died. Twenty days following Mark’s death,
    Eloise’s mother collapsed and died from an undiagnosed
    aneurysm. Around the same time, the family dog
    also died and the roof blew off the house.

    From her experience of living through so many
    tragedies and at the same time knowing that Dan, who
    was particularly fragile, could die anytime, Eloise
    composed the poem “Borrowed Hope”.

    At the time, Eloise was supporting others as a grief
    counsellor. Her son Dan lived five more years and
    managed to graduate from the local University.

    Eloise became nationally known for her work as a Bereavement Specialist. In
    the summer of 2005, she was diagnosed with lung cancer and battled with
    strength and grace for four short months until her death in December
    2005. She would often say that although her body had cancer, her spirit
    did not.

    I’ll see you guys in hell.

  • Percy Gryce

    Thanks, Debbie Downer.

  • RLMkeepitup

    half of me feels icky, the other half says she wanted people to laugh

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Source please, asshole.

  • Domo

    Negative Nancy and Pessimistic Patty are stewing in the corner because you didn’t bother to mention them.

    It’s always Debbie Downer. Debbie, Debbie, Debbie!

  • Sevi
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Eloise Cole Slaw is up there or down there hanging out with Betty and Linda.

  • Palpatine

    Wow, and I thought clowns were supposed to make you laugh.

  • Palpatine

    You just went full Andrew with that comment.

  • TheManHole

    But I did!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ironically she herself is dead.

  • the backyard stunting one isnt so bad really

  • Niccageshair

    That Who’s In Charge cover deserves to be in a museum.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    LEN HAS RETURNED! UPVOTES GALORE!

  • i dont know about that. im just sayin……not THAT bad all things considered

  • Uncle Dan

    I thought they were going to cut between the girl “hacking” in Jurassic Park, haha.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I have no doubt that she was a good person, but the video seemed terrible.

  • TheManHole

    That really would have been great.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    And creepy, don’t forget that.

  • TheManHole

    Can’t sleep clown will eat me. Can’t sleep clown will eat me.

  • how the fuckin fuck do you know this???? is this wikipedia or are we in the matrix?

  • TheManHole
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well there is a source the real question is how the fuck did he find it?

  • Percy Gryce

    Sir Leonard in da house!

  • hmmf. well would you look at that

  • moisan4 .

    When the picture of Tom Waits popped up, I lost
    it. I have no idea why this was so funny. Thank you, RLM for doing Wheel
    of the Worst. Your sacrifice for the betterment of humanity and humour is appreciated.

  • RLMkeepitup

    AOL

  • Thanatos2k

    Rich’s rutting gag was dead on, Rich wins.

  • Domo

    The little girl would be saying her lines as she’s hacking away on her computer, but all we’d hear is the AOL startup sound and some Cantonese through the wonder of editing.

  • James Earl Jones

    Y’know… I don’t get why they even put videos like the Chinese AOL one on the wheel. Even if it’s an american video (that they can understand what’s being said), that type of thing doesn’t even have a chance of being slightly entertaining, especially after we had The Family Guide… The subject matter is way too boring.
    Even the dog video could have been better than that.

  • Percy Gryce

    “Rich wins” is a tautology.

  • Sevi

    I put “Eloise Cole,” into the search bar of my AOL™ approved browser, Netscape Explorer™, and it was the first result.

  • James Earl Jones

    It would have been great.

  • Domo

    I just wanted the cat massage video, just to see how long before they’d run out of pussy jokes.

  • Thanatos2k

    I thought for sure they would immediately throw back the Chinese video and pick again once they realized what was happening.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    AOL? What year is it? 1998?

  • Percy Gryce

    You shouldn’t not be.

  • Sevi

    No, I’m still running Windows 95, but one day I hope to upgrade to the 98 version.

  • James Earl Jones

    I’ve heard that you have to massage pus– I mean, newborn kitties, if they have been abandoned by their mother. It’s got something to do with their digestion process.

  • Thanatos2k

    Did you try Lycos?

    ….It still exists you know.

  • instant relief

    Can’t… stop… masturbating!

  • ….just to point out..i do believe other than DELIVERANCE the unpleasant subject Mike mentions DOES come up in action films such as PENITENTIARY II and III. see them. your welcome.

  • Domo

    But if they did that with the S.O.S. video, they would have missed such magical moments like abortion and goat farms.

    Unfortunately, not every video is an S.O.S. video.

  • Niccageshair

    Could have used ask jeeves

  • James Earl Jones

    “tautology”
    Oh, fuck… let me get a dictionary.

  • naah

    Rich Evans is a monster

  • We all are.

  • Domo

    Newborn kitties can’t urinate on their own for the first week or so, so you have to rub their bellies to mimic a mom licking a newborns’ belly.

    Oh, shit. I’m being informative. Ummmmm, insert a gif of Rich Evans taking it from behind! Yeah!

  • instant relief

    A monster of love, sharing and deep penetration.

  • Thanatos2k

    SOS was a music video though, not an informative one.

    …OR WAS IT!?

  • Domo

    I kinda learned about the birds and the beads, and something about x-acto knives, but I fail to see how it’s all connected.

  • Domo

    Rich Evans would have made a great bereavement counselor.

    Follow your dreams, Rich.

  • Whoever loaded the board this week has a genuine interest in making everyone suffer

  • instant relief

    It would have gonna be great.

  • MPJZ

    Maybe the clown lady got the idea to mix clowns and death from Jerry Lewis.

  • Domo

    Zhe jiang shi juda de.

  • Jaws 2 – Jaws Harder

    was that Penetration II and III

  • Like Icare

    Oh! It’s the Canadians again!

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I’d like to know their respective Blood Alcohol Content’s after this episode and every other one they’ve done. We might be able to get some real data on these guys – for what purpose I do not know, but a noble one no doubt.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Comment il aurait été grand.

  • Domo

    One movie is the foreplay. The second movie is the sad reality.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Look at Colin, being all-racially sensitive! Somebody learned a lesson from the last time.

    #TeamCandadia

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    While you’ve got a dictionary out, check “ecranisation.”

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Pour a little of my forty on the floor for my omi.

  • Domo

    Now Colin just laughs at dead people.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Language, Len.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    To Eloise Cole Slaw?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    To be fair, Rich started it.

  • Palpatine

    You know, you really got to hand to RLM for sitting through this shit for our entertainment. For that, they deserve to be commended. Bravo, RLM, bravo!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s great to see Oscar Isaac and Nicholas Holt on the show again.

  • all im saying is there is a midget and the dude that played superfly i believe (RIP).

  • moisan4 .

    As a Canadian hunter I was flabbergasted people weren’t
    aware that rutting was a word. Easiest time to hunt wild game is during rutting
    season, when they’re so horny their hormones make them stupid and careless.
    Just imagine teenagers running around with horns on their heads, that’s rutting
    season.

  • Jaws 2 – Jaws Harder

    and it was one of their best videos

  • James Earl Jones

    I got this, I got this!
    http://i.imgur.com/ANb45kT.gif

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Oh shit, it’s you. I thought you died.

  • sorry. thats unlike me. thats more the oakheart bacardi talking i guess (*excuse*)

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Yes. Surely rutting is a well-known thing in Wisconsin.

  • James Earl Jones
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Those action films star Dirk Diggler as Brock Landers right?

  • Jaws 2 – Jaws Harder

    well see there was this clown that brought me back to life

  • Wizard Phoenix

    So dead we needed a fucking clown.

  • RLMkeepitup

    thank you sir may I have another!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    It’s the first thing that comes up in Google, too.

  • Jaws 2 – Jaws Harder

    birds and the beads lol

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I Google Image search Eloise Cole Slaw and I think I found Plinkett’s ex wife

    http://arkansasagnews.uark.edu/Eloise-Cole(1).jpg

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    And which of us fuck-stick bitches hasn’t been fucking there? Amirite?

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Domo

    RLM drunkenness should probably be measured in amounts of ice spitting and bottle throwing, and how amazing the bottle landings are.

    Mentions of Star Trek are an added touch in case there’s technical glitches with the measuring equipment.

  • Domo

    Can the acting coach be Eloise Cole? Y’know, for the horror scenes?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Domo, Ms. Cole Slaw has been dead for nearly ten years. So of course she can!

  • Jaws 2 – Jaws Harder

    dude she died 5 years before she even made that video

  • Wizard Phoenix

    She was being a zombie on film before Harrison Ford made it popular.

  • Sully

    My Omitted joke-a-meter is acting up again…

    http://i.imgur.com/PX1ux1y.jpg

  • haha! i have not. here i thought i would be played by either Axl Rose or Julian Sands

  • Domo

    I remember a while back when CNN stole sought inspiration from RLM’s dinosaur BOTW and created an article about bad dinosaur movies.

    I wonder if the CNN journalism department would ever make an article on bad infotainment videos, and if they’d ever be brave enough to report any of these tapes, even though RLM did all the hard work for them.

  • Jaws 2 – Jaws Harder

    so that was you in Arachnophobia, nice job

  • Sully

    Sorry. I cast you. I came across the image and couldn’t resist.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • and WARLOCK

  • tbs1982@hotmail.com

    I am responsible for Rainbow’s Remedy… and previously Ice Dams, Kids & Airbags, Let’s Sing and Dance, and Learn Gun Safety with Eddie Eagle. I am so, so sorry. 😉

  • lol. im gonna pee my pants

  • RLMkeepitup

    and your pick for best of the worst is?

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • tbs1982@hotmail.com

    Learn Gun Safety, easily.

  • Sully

    Might as well link the whole tumblr site, Wiz.

    http://redletterstorypage.tumblr.com

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well, I’m proud to tell you there is a spot in hell saved just for you.

  • I haven’t watched the video yet, but I wanted to comment early. Comment. Thanks.

  • Mr_Show

    Yay!

  • Domo

    Sully actually created 2 movie story concepts for everyone to enjoy.

    The first one is various disqus users.

    https://www.pinterest.com/sullyfox0022/dawn-of-disqus-posters/

    The second one is the RLM crew.

    https://www.pinterest.com/sullyfox0022/the-redletterstory-posters/

  • Sully

    Percy Gryce is gonna whip dat ass, but for less than obvious reasons.

  • Domo

    Ack! I posted the pinterest boards at the same time you posted that! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to try and steal your baby! I swear!

  • Like Icare

    Tom Waits means “the Internet” in Chinese?
    Makes sense.

    http://www.nyanwaits.com/

  • Sully

    No worries. Here’s the other (Dawn of Disqus) Tumblr for those who don’t have a Pinterest account.

    http://redletterstory.tumblr.com

  • Jay Stein

    Speak Engrish or die…..

  • Domo

    I could see Percy and tbs1982 going vhs shopping together in the great wild that is various pawn shops and estate sales.

    They would work better together, not apart.

  • Sully

    That’s no way to create conflict, Domo. I’m a storyteller, not a goddamn relationship therapist.

  • Jaws 2 – Jaws Harder

    so why do you dress as a clown then

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    The visual effects on Jim and Colin’s green hoverboards were amazing, guys!

  • Gary V

    At some point someone’s going to check the metrics for lendmeyourhope.com and be all “Why did we get a spike of hits on August 22, all redirected from redlettermedia.com?”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    VHS Wars. Starring Robert Downey Jr. as Percy Gryce and Adam Driver as tbs1982.

  • Domo

    This image says otherwise.

    http://orig04.deviantart.net/368f/f/2015/028/3/0/franny_the_fennec_fox_clown_ref_by_mudnose400-d8eqr25.png

    I think she’s your cousin, right? Relationship therapy is in your blood, Sully. Possibly in your stool, also.

  • Michael Collins

    First!

  • Jean-François Martel

    Yesss, the Canadian invasion continues… soon we’ll get our hands on your precious… i dunno, crack cocaine?

  • Domo

    I like how they CGI’ed different clothes in the hoverboard scene, too.

    Simply breathtaking!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *Oscar and Nicholas

  • Jaws 2 – Jaws Harder

    dude that wasn’t special effects, they really can fly
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AltMeuPkWRs

  • Sully

    No relation.
    This is my great-great grandfather, Conrad Sullivan III.

    http://i.imgur.com/C70EzSI.jpg

  • Sully

    Almost!

  • Jaws 2 – Jaws Harder
  • pizzaroll_bunny

    I enjoy watching people watching bad movies.

  • Like Icare

    Chill.

  • Jean-François Martel

    man, this blast from the past! You’re my kind of troll.

  • Jean-François Martel

    it’s often more rewarding than actually watching bad movies.

  • Black Doug

    I think the America Online tape was created for a combination of the reasons suggested: it was for elderly immigrants who didn’t speak English.

  • Like Icare

    It was the introductory instructional video for Chinese hackers.

    http://www.gamereplays.org/community/uploads/post-27-1359783818.jpg

  • Domo

    The question for the ages is if Shoji Tabuchi did a better job.

    The answer is probably yes.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yle7zk8ltvc&feature=youtu.be&t=50s

  • Sully

    That video should come with some sort of hashtag (*pound sign) apology.

  • Jaws 2 – Jaws Harder

    haha so good

  • Jaws 2 – Jaws Harder

    this

  • Palpatine

    I can just picture Rainbow the Clown going off on that kid who lost his father/grandfather like that scene in The Devils Rejects where Captain Spaulding yells at the kid.

  • Bob Borries

    I’m on a date, How do I watch this episode without my date noticing?

  • Sully

    Tell her to flip over.

  • Palpatine

    Tell her you need to take a dump for an hour and go watch it in the bathroom.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    An aquarium has blue stuff…my god. That little baby had MacGregor’s syndrome!

  • Like Icare

    Pogo the Clown was also a big hit at kids’ parties.
    http://maniacnanny.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/JOHNNY-GACY-POGO-THE-CLOWN.jpg

  • Jean-François Martel

    Yassss Shoji! Fuck me up!

  • Jaws 2 – Jaws Harder

    *him

  • Palpatine

    Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfuckin’ MacGregor’s Syndrome jokes on this motherfuckin’ webzone!

  • Eric

    Another great episode guys. I hope Rainbow the clown helped council you through the grief of watching those 3 horrific videos 😛

  • Domo

    If only it was green. Little baby could have become a ninja turtle!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Leave her or ask to watch it with her. Leave her if she’s Karen O.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Palpatine

    *Bryce Dallas Howard

  • Jaws 2 – Jaws Harder

    well it was already a mutant so it was half way there

    #waytoodarkiknow

  • Domo

    *Chris Pratt

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *Anne Hathaway

  • Palpatine

    *Kid who played the little brother in Jurassic World

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Are you following Rich Evan’s footsteps and joined NAMBLA?

  • Domo

    Nooooo. I’m being serious!

    Omi isn’t here to be part of the guy-loving team. I’m kinda all alone here. Let me have my moment, please!

  • Palpatine

    Yeah, that was pretty fucked up, I know.

  • Jaws 2 – Jaws Harder

    next thing we know, you’ll be driving around in one of them creepy vans

  • Palpatine

    Like the one Rainbow the Clown had.

  • Cat Stevens

    Nice beatles reference.

  • Jaws 2 – Jaws Harder
  • Palpatine

    Now that’s real music right there.

  • Zach

    I hope you destroyed them all.

  • Jaws 2 – Jaws Harder

    question: what was the only good thing in the prequels
    answer: the emperor

  • Palpatine

    Believe it or not, but I’m related to Frank Sinatra. His first wife is my great-grandfathers first cousin.

  • Jean-François Martel

    well, that got kinda racist.

  • James Earl Jones

    *lacist

  • Jaws 2 – Jaws Harder

    Ava Gardner was hot, no harm done there.

  • Palpatine

    No, his first wife was Nancy Barbato, and she just so happens to be a relative of mine, I am dead serious. And I’m talking as real self, and not as Palpatine.

  • Jaws 2 – Jaws Harder

    awesome, didnt know about her, well ya learn somethin everyday

  • z7gizzyz7 .

    Number 9… Turn me on dead man, turn me on dead man

  • Palpatine

    And I also happen to have a cousin who’s married to an NFL player named Antoine Bethea. He plays as a safety for the San Francisco 49ers.

  • Jean-François Martel

    don’t sully Ommited’s memory like that.

  • Jaws 2 – Jaws Harder

    the women do well in your family, nice one

  • Palpatine

    Thanks.

  • I am an immortal Grief Clown and I cannot die.

  • You may have gone too far in some places….

  • InfoWarrior1776

    I fucking love you guys RLM, I swear you guys read my mind sometimes. I also love those 2 hack-fraud canadian visual effects artists who keep appearing… but seriously they are my favorite guests and I’ve been hoping you guys would bring them back. (haven’t watched the episode yet so hopefully it doesnt suck after i wrote all this lol)

  • Masa Soh Mengming

    Rich is right. It is in Chinese. Cantonese to be precise. However, it is not Mandarin which is the official language of China and more widely spoken.

  • Masa Soh Mengming

    这将是巨大的? It is going to be big? Doesn’t sound right in Mandarin. Might sound right in Cantonese but I am not sure.

    Speaking as someone who is not Cantonese and can’t speak the language, I greatly enjoyed Rich’s attempt at speaking it.

  • Jean-François Martel

    Destroy Rich Evans, HE MUST PAY FOR HIS SINS! AND OURS!

  • Jean-François Martel

    The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

  • Jean-François Martel

    never apologize for drunken misconduct Len, it shows weakness.

  • Concerned Citizen

    What happened to that chick who was sorta Mike’s girlfriend? She actually had some good insight from time to time, but I haven’t seen her in anything in a while, and now it’s all just dudes on here……..

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Here’s a gif of Rich Evans getting his ass kicked that nobody wanted or asked for:

    http://imgur.com/gallery/Jka3IKf

  • Jean-François Martel

    a moment of silence for a fallen soldier.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Excuse me, I’m Joaquin Phoenix.

  • Jean-François Martel
  • ElectricPrism

    It’s a Unix System I Know This!
    https://jurassicsystems.com/

  • Joe Syxpac

    Wait a minute…

    Did I miss something? Where’s Farm Safety Family Style?

  • shel

    been to long…god i’ve missed wheel of the worst

  • Niccageshair

    Bethea is one hell of a player

  • Sweet! I live in the same neighborhood as the creepy clown lady apparently. Scottsdale FTW!

  • Palpatine

    You know about him?

  • Jaws 2 – Jaws Harder
  • Endocrom .

    Missed a golden opportunity for a Star Trek 5 “Let me take your pain” gag.

  • Niccageshair

    I know of him. I follow football. He’s probably the best player in SF’s secondary.

  • Jaws 2 – Jaws Harder

    my fav moment in all of star trek,
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLzJAebfEIg

  • Timothy

    My wife and I were disappointed in this episode. Rich Evans mock-Asian language as well as homoerotic humor really fell flat. It just didn’t work this time. We look forward to other episodes that make fun of actual movies as this will likely give you more material to work with. You all are talented. Use it.

  • Cakefarts

    Nobody wanted or asked for eh? How can you say that with such conviction?

  • Jaws 2 – Jaws Harder

    lol nice one bro, i see what you did there, ”wife”, is that what we call him now

  • Jaws 2 – Jaws Harder

    one of the best episodes so far. moar of this.

  • Rich Evans, some people know about languages. Most of the world call us linguists. You seem to think we are “super nerds”. This is erroneous, as we never studied “super nerdology”, but languages. “Super Nerdology” actually deals with topics like comic books and other topics that have no real world applications.

  • Bart Crowe

    Eloise Cole’s Dead by Bauhaus

  • El_Runko

    And the award for most passive aggressive asshole goes to…

  • Domo

    I can understand. How can you two laugh when you’re feeling so much pain?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    There’s no homoerotic humor in Mike spooning with Rich. It’s simply homoerotic.

  • CalamityCorp
  • Domo

    Oh my goodness! Colin! A step ladder! In the same room! And he’s not on it!

    https://youtu.be/ZCtnb81OhV4?t=20m49s

  • IDreamofRichEvans

    33:46…oh…yeaaaaaah!

  • CalamityCorp

    BFFF

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    This was the internet video equivalent of Un Chien Andalou. Yes I’m an asshole film student.

  • Jaws 2 – Jaws Harder

    somebody needs a clown

  • Jaws 2 – Jaws Harder
  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    how is he passive?

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    what is rich wearing??

  • Jaws 2 – Jaws Harder

    at one stage there, a big ass grin, when Mike was spooning with him

  • Rich rly is a problematic fave tbh, smh.

  • I didn’t know Dave Coulier knew kung fu

  • castlemonster

    I wish the videos that didn’t get picked last time would have gotten another shot. I wanted to see them riff on the Leonard Nimoy Y2K tape.

  • Jaws

    They would’ve run out of things to say, what else can you say about Leonard Nimoy other than, well this guy was awesome.

  • El_Runko

    With condescension masked as compliments. Exhibit one: unbearable asshole-y “You all are talented. Use it.”

  • El_Runko

    With condescension masked as compliments. Exhibit #1: unbearable asshole-y “You all are talented. Use it.”

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Some of those tapes might be back on the wheel in a future episode, you never know. It has happened before.

    On that note, that Farm Safety – Family Style (13:43), that mysterious tape that was on the wheel a few times, it would have disappointed. Someone posted a link to the video, and there’s not much comedic material at all to be mined from it. No dramatizations of horrible farm accidents with little kids, or anything like that.

  • I was about to go to sleep, but now I’m terrified that I’ll see rotting clown faces when I turn the lights off, thanks guys.

    It’s also worth noting that “Eloise Cole” does sound suspiciously like “Ereshkigal”, who was the Sumerian goddess of the underworld. Maybe Rich is onto something again…

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    i guess.

  • castlemonster

    Last time the wheel picked the titles with the least comic potential. I guess they just couldn’t endure for that to happen again.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    “Sumerian, not Babylonian. … Big difference.”

  • Will Robinson

    America Online video was made in Emeryville, CA.
    SF Bay Area have a huge Asian population, so it was definitely made for older generation of immigrants.

  • Crixxxx

    Wasn’t there also a clown nurse video not too long ago on the wheel?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Laugh! Jest for the Health of It.

    Or something similar.

  • hamsterfist

    Rich Evan’s racist Asian voice made me nearly piss my pants. Thanks for that Rich!

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    shipping

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I don’t know, I thought this one was very rough too. I mean, we only saw the highlights, and I felt sorry for the guys. Then, they started to make cruel, mean jokes, and I remembered they were asking for it.

  • El_Runko

    Damn right you do.

  • castlemonster

    I should think they could find plenty to say about him. And Nimoy would probably be amused by it. If he weren’t dead, I mean.

  • castlemonster

    Yeah, I’ll bet they decide to start previewing them.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    You are that one dick at a party that no one talks to.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That featured I liked Spike Jonze from Jack Ass as the old lady on the cover.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No they need Cole Slaw. Eloise Cole Slaw.

  • CalamityCorp

    There could not have been a lovelier sight.

    http://i.imgur.com/pVzmWoG.png

  • Bob Borries

    I decided to listen to it with my Bluetooth ear piece, and just said Yep every once in a while, he seems happy, I hope I’m not engaged or anything.

  • You don’t even have to change any words to make “Randy Butcher” sound like the title of a gore/slasher porno.

  • Jay Bauman is a violent, violent man.

  • castlemonster

    Thanks, guys. I need a grief clown after watching this episode!

  • Jaws

    question, what do you get when you cross the Pain Clown with Backdoor Stunting… answer, you really don’t wanna know

  • hamsterfist

    At first, I hated them. After this episode, I love them both. Even the humorless dick “Jim”, “Tim” whatever, was amazing. Moar!

  • hamsterfist

    I mean, yeah, “rutting” is a term for mating. I don’t think Rich actually knew that and got lucky. Nor do I think it was an especially funny pun. However, +1 for Rich.

    His total now? -9,876. The Asian accent was more of a make up then the rutting joke, this episode.

  • Jaws

    Hi son, I’m the Pain Clown
    Hi Pain Clown
    so what we do with our pain son is we stick it in our pocket
    oh you mean literally, ok, like this?
    no son, like this!
    hey wait up, that’s not my pocket!!
    fuck the pain away, fuck the pain away

  • Captain Turbo

    Rich Evans, you magnificent politically incorrect bastard! I read your book!

  • Mild Mannered Misanthrope

    That clown!
    KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT NOW AAAAIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

  • castlemonster

    “How could they laugh when I was feeling such pain?” – Finally, I have an epitaph!

  • No clown waxing on mortality? Thumbs down…Unsubscribe.
    http://imgur.com/L5LR3XB

  • Mild Mannered Misanthrope

    The clown video is probably the worst tape you’ve ever reviewed. Not only does the advice about such a serious subject seem terrible from what I’ve seen, it’s delivered by a clown that apparently exploits the bereaved. Sometimes I wonder if RLM has ever been trolled by their fans, sending in their own VHS tapes, but that is too strange and deeply uncomfortable to make up.

  • Rich saved the day.

  • Marvin Falz

    *loud creepy deep voice* Rainbow the clown WILL scare the pain of bereavement OUT OF YOU.

  • Mild Mannered Misanthrope

    The part seemingly about ‘tucking your feelings away’ as the clown pockets a handful of fluff (or something) representing grief is just about THE WORST THING YOU CAN TRY TO DO when someone close to you dies. It shouldn’t be underestimated how terrible this video is.

  • I can tell you that it isn’t Thai. Kinda sounds to Vietnamese or Mandarin.

  • Vote Donald Trump, keep these filthy Canadians our of our beautiful country! Make ‘merica great again!

  • Jahsoldier

    It was Cantonese.

  • bleurgh

    Thought you said ‘fucking your feelings away’.

  • Joe Syxpac
  • dollar store cashier wife

    “Fuck the pain away.”

    -Mr.Plinkett,proffesional grief counselor.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    ‘sexy

  • dollar store cashier wife

    “You can’t fuck them if they’re dead”

    -Rich Evans.

    Wrong show to complain about not being PC buddy.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Right next to bamby.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    She returned to her home planet.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    #omittedgate

  • Marvin Falz

    Best of the Worst is an episodic documentary show about godawful vhs videos narrated by film editor and voice talent Mike Stoklasa.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    does that question really needs to be asked?

  • bleurgh

    Just want to say that yes, RUTTING IS A SLANG WORD FOR HUMPING. RICH WAS RIGHT. It’s working class British regional slang. I don’t know where from specifically, but it’s common for people in old-timey British crime films to describe two people as ‘rutting like rabbits’ or something similar.

  • Marvin Falz

    I think Rainbow Remedies could have some merit if you’d cut out all the clown scenes and her strange advices on coping with loss and her unsettling attempts at being humorous to light up the mood. Only leave the scenes with the people who were able to feel their pain and tell their stories. Those people seem honest to me and relatable. A video like this might help somebody who’s alone.

  • Marvin Falz

    Bill Hicks used the word “rutting” in his stand-ups.

    #uselessTrivia

  • Jillian

    We’re all going to hell!

    I’m okay with that.

  • I know the word and I had to check it because I didn’t know it was also used in English.

  • Write them a strongly worded letter of complaint, Percy.

  • Give him some credit. He did go for the obvious joke with the buff dudes in L.A.

  • Pervert.

  • It could have used more explosions. Or flesh eating clowns.

  • K.L

    It’s honestly the only fact in life that keeps me going.

  • instant relief

    Weren’t those flesh eating stuntmen enough for you?

  • Marvin Falz

    It would’ve sold millions of copies.

  • Rich and Mike were
    Sitting in a tree…

  • He also told us to suck Satan’s cock. Mmmm.

  • Marvin Falz

    I doubt that Satan makes one feel all warm and fuzzy. Speaking of religion, I want to feel the Lord deep inside of me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81ibVbxkjnA

  • instant relief
  • Earth

    You guys made a Disqus tumblr thing without me in it?

    How could they laugh when I was in so much pain?

  • Red Skeleton

    Ok, you guys REALLY need to get some new talent on this show….

    Wait, that sounds misleading…

    You guys REALLY need to get some talent, and new people, on this show.

  • Doctor John Smith

  • juanitaturnerd

    v☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯……………

    ✔✔✔OVER HERE✔✔✔ ————–►►►►tinyurl.com/Jobs1ReporteOnline2Groups ➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽➽ GOOTO THIS SITE AND CLICK NEXT LINNKv.

  • Doctor John Smith

    both.

  • juanitaturnerd

    ☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯☯

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  • Doctor John Smith

    And right now thousands of man hours are being used to make thousands of “Jay Fucks Rich.Gifs” from the stunt footage.

    Edit DAMN SPAM!

  • Earth

    Never damn spam. Spam is a viking’s favourite meal.

  • Earth

    So much comedy mixed with pain in this episode. Almost like it had a theme.

  • Red Skeleton

    Sigh, I wish Jeff Goldblum would sit on MY gearshift and tell me to go faster…^_____^

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    Rich takes the initiative and gives us the video we wanted, and not the video we deserved.

  • Sully

    Cast yo’sef, biotch!

  • instant relief

    I’d upload mine, if I wasn’t busy masturbating to it.

  • instant relief

    I’m already in hell and the french fries are great.

  • instant relief

    That’s deep, bra. *exhales*

  • bleurgh

    Innuendo: The Movie pretty much describes the man from UNCLE. Bet you it gives the stuntman video a run for its money

  • Jawszilla

    true, well considering it stars men with names like Armie Hammer and The Man of Steel, you don’t get much gayer than that.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS9OO0S5w2k

  • instant relief

    Ah, the 70s, when I was up in some cowboy’s bumhole up to the elbow. With both arms simultaneously.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Subtle “Elves” reference by Rich goes unnoticed.

  • Ogrot

    I didn’t know backyard stunting took place in the Rapecore building!

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Rich’s backdoor uncle is the real winner.

  • Evertale

    So you’re outsourcing special effects-work for Space Cop to Canada?!
    Don’t you care about Milwaukee’s fledgeling local economy?! – The hack-assery is off the charts<3

  • Fraudpitalism doesn’t operate with local economy in mind.

  • Jawszilla

    #speakingofchartsthiswasnumber1inthe80s
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9f06QZCVUHg

  • Red Skeleton

    DEY TOOK OUR JERBS!!!!

  • instant relief

    I never washed my mouth again.

  • Earth

    I wouldn’t presume…

  • Ogrot

    Is that what was happening to Rich at the end?

  • Bubs

    Cat Massage is a tape that Plinkette would own and watch regularly. But he might go a little too far and end up “tenderizing the meat”.

  • Jawszilla

    or just simply fucking it

  • Sully

    RLM confirmed for anti-American Film unions/guilds.

  • Sully

    Tomato / Tomato

  • Sully

    Well… Hell-o, faux fox. We meet again.

  • Red Skeleton

    So I did some research and I’ve discovered some hack Cartoon writer named Charles Smultz wrote a cartoon that predicted Omitted’s banning almost 85 years ago!!

    https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B0sIeTYNZmsRRUdQa015YWpXdG8/view?usp=sharing

  • Bubs

    I really love when you guys can get Jim and/or Colin down from Maple Syrupland for an episode. But it has been far too long since we’ve seen Gillian on the show. The public demands more Gillian!

  • Sully

    We’re gonna put up a wall and we’re gonna make those criminal, rapist, butthole drug smuggling Canadians pay for it.

    http://blackbluedog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/sdopposdodsp.jpg

    Pound Sign: Trump2016

  • Sully

    Presumption is the the mother of all fuck ups, but okay…

  • Sully

    There’s a 20% chance that was photoshopped.

  • Red Skeleton

    WELL YOU’RE WRONG!

    MS PAINT.

  • Like Icare

    Rich WAS wearing pink there…

    #asking4it

  • Jawszilla

    Ms Paint is a filthy whore, I mean everybody has used her

  • Like Icare

    Their budget has already been spent all on “talent”.
    No more “talent” will be available until the next fiscal year.

    Or until someone on their or our end wins the megabillions lottery.

  • Like Icare

    You can’t have a “hello” without some hell built-in.

    It’s what Sartre meant with “other people”.

  • Bubs

    Jaws, I’m hereby submitting a formal request:
    Can you stop deleting yourself? It’s really annoying to go back and read comments and half of them are missing.

  • tOmy`

    Check out her stand-ups. It is not the remedy we wanted, but it is the remedy we need.

  • Like Icare

    Does that mean that gay men DON’T get to suck Satan’s cock in hell?

    $thingsCatholicChurchAintTellinUs

  • tOmy`

    And thus the fraudization of private sector continues. Milwaukee humidity now comes with 20% of children tears.

  • Like Icare

    Lord likes freedom of choice. That’s why there are so many loopholes out there.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8ZF_R_j0OY

    He could have made us to be just like chickens…
    https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/9c/Avian_cloaca.jpg

  • Like Icare

    Donald Trump needs to include more ducks and trampolines into his campaign if he thinks of actually winning the whole thing.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Preaching to the Choir. i been saying that for a year or so.

  • Palpatine

    Sorry brother, that ain’t gonna work.

  • Palpatine

    I was actually planning on saying that.

  • Amontillado

    Mike wasn’t drunk, he didn’t throw a single beer bottle.

  • Amontillado

    Don’t you mean, “Richology?”

  • Amontillado

    Too bad they screwed up the meatloaf, again 🙁

  • Amontillado

    The Hack Fraud nation grows by the day, soon it will span the globe resulting in the Hack Association of National United Scamfraduery … aka HANUS.

  • Amontillado
  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    80 years ago? They didn’t have Photoshop the year I was born!

  • Doctor John Smith

    i may have even paraphrased old TV shows to show my annoyance.
    Captain Blackadder: Take down a telegram, Bob. ‘To JAWS, In the ocean. Congrats stop. Have found only joke in world less funny than you deleting your accounts stop. Name Pa Kent stop. Signed E. Blackadder stop. Oh, and put a P.S.: please, please, please stop.’

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I believe that children are the future.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Somebody’s been doing all the raping. Gotta be.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    There was one point that I thought Jim would break from the pain and another point where I thought Colin would break from the comedy. Dense, like poetry.

  • Amontillado

    I see what you did there :)))))))))))))))))

  • Amontillado

    Donde estas Bush?!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    We all miss omi.

  • Palpatine

    Have you not commented on here for a year?

  • Amontillado

    This was the dark, “serious,” episode of WotW.

  • Amontillado

    Do we have a timer on that?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Well, you missed her by a few years.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    And theoretically died on the way.

  • The future? Where’s my jetpack?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    None of you guys noticed his date was a he?

    Racist!

  • Doctor John Smith
  • Doctor John Smith

    you still commenting through your phone?

  • Doctor John Smith

    You spelt HoverBoard wrong.

  • Palpatine

    I am, why?

  • Amontillado

    In all fairness, there is only one Len Kabasinski; Chris Hemsworth is a rank imitation. Accept no substitute.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I was #TeamCanada before it was cool.

  • Amontillado
  • Amontillado

    Don’t forgot, flying smiling Jesus!

  • Doctor John Smith

    Sorry i thought it was a ‘Rhetorical comments’ joke. my bad.

  • Amontillado

    It’s richroticism, thank you very much.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    If you keep speaking to it, it won’t go away.

  • Bubs

    Andrew I hardly recognized you with your new … scarf

  • Like Icare

    You don’t have to be an asshole film student to be familiar with that particular work of art. At least not around these here parts…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=aA2Z16QiNsE#t=3076

  • Doctor John Smith

    Trust me I completely understand your feelings.

  • Palpatine

    Is there something I’m not aware of here?

  • Mmm… cat tartare.

  • David Anderson

    There should be a new rule: if it’s an instructional video in Chinese then throw it out and pick another video. One step away from watching static on the TV for 30 minutes.

  • Like Icare

    Wat?

  • Amontillado

    We all love when Jim an Colin come down from on high, in your great words Bubs: “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, you own
    it. If it doesn’t, you don’t own it. And You’re an asshole.”

  • Amontillado

    Oh.my.god. I was pressing little flowers and having butter sconce for tea before it became thing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZa26_esLBE

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Yeah, it’s annoying, but have you noticed it hasn’t once shut down the site for an hour in at least a month?

    #Hm

  • Like Icare

    We really need to do something about improving safety of space travel.

    Like… put in seatbelts.
    http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120123160235/memoryalpha/en/images/thumb/2/27/Seatbelts,_2368.jpg/500px-Seatbelts,_2368.jpg

  • tOmy`

    I like my entertainers to suffer, mkay?

  • tOmy`

    By the way, I am quite busy today, need to work till late night, so I haven’t see the video yet.

    I would like to ask you to stop commenting for next 10 – 12 hours. Thanks.

  • Doctor John Smith

    I know that you know EXACTLY what is happening. you’re trying to pull a literal ‘Palatine’s behind it all.’
    Trust me dont.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You gotta admire that they always seem to stick it out straight to the end of whatever they’re watching. Even I turned off FRANCES HA after twenty minutes.

  • Pulp

    Dying, death, grief, bereavement, pain, suffering, torture, heartache, depression, suicide , child abuse and clown commentaries = also known as LiveLeak

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    If you don’t have time to watch, you shouldn’t have time to scroll, either, kiddo.

  • Doctor John Smith

    i will but i cant stop the others…… oh shit this is a comment!!!!
    i really shouldn’t click on the post button…….

  • bleurgh

    Any of you who are fans of TNG and not watching Patrick Stewarts new show are seriously missing out. It’s much more of a serious character study than the dick-joke factory I was expecting when I heard it was being produced by Seth Mcfarlane. It’s super well-written and dark too.

  • Gavin Callaghan

    Re. Innuendo the Movie. Little known fact: an innuendo is an Italian suppository.

  • Like Icare
  • Doctor John Smith

    WOW thats one angry EDIT, you maid.

  • Like Icare

    You’re assuming she had a kitchen counter…

  • bleurgh

    This show needed some Jack in it.

  • Palpatine

    Oh, so it is Andrew.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Well done Palpy you twisted Pa to your will nicely…. hope you survive the banpcolypse

  • Like Icare

    Debbie like that…

  • Evertale

    Movies are made for global markets today… they see the cost of 200 million, and they laugh, because the digital copies can be seen simoultaneously in Asia, Africa, Australia, Europe and Antarctica. YES! the market of tomorrow will be dominated by PENGUINS!

  • Mick Travis

    Hey, I wouldn’t mind my movie being written and directed by the woman who co-wrote TOOTSIE without credit.

  • Palpatine

    Trust me, I’ll survive, and so will you.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Trust me. I completely understand your feelings.

    What was i thinking when I used to blame Catsup?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    the internet is wonderful.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    What’s Dr. Self-Awareness blaming YOU for now?

  • Don’t you think the last two WotWs were extremely painful for RLM to endure and quite as painful to watch? The gang had very little to work with. I think that’s why I prefer BotW, sure, WotW had some gems like Shoji Tabuchi, Ice Dams and Dog Sitter but it makes me wonder if it’s worth their time. WotW could still work if they just spun the wheel with terrible B movies on it.

  • Bubs

    No way. I thought this episode was hilarious. My wife and I had a blast watching it and I was so happy that the Depressed Insane Clown movie got watched.

  • I thought you were describing pornhub.

  • instant relief

    I think they should endure some pain. It’s got to have some contempt for your internet content producers.

  • Sully

    He… she…. they’re all just holes, amiright?!

  • Like Icare


    And You’re an asshole.

    Truer words…

  • instant relief

    I thought he was talking about the Tor project.

  • It felt to me like most of the jokes fell flat in this and the last one, they just kept in lots of outtakes, and awkwardness. And the tape introduction took way too long.

  • Sully

    Sure they did. I don’t believe for a second that’s what people looked like back when you were a kid .

    http://i2.wp.com/knowledgenuts.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/99373800.jpg?resize=1024%2C537

  • Doctor John Smith
  • Like Icare

    There were photoshops. They were just a lot more reliant on hardware and bulkier.
    http://www.inherited-values.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/vintage-shutter-shak-film-developing-stand.jpg

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    The people? What about that zombie deer running around with its whole back end having been chewed off? You kids think you got it rough these days?

    And, honestly, loin clothes weren’t any worse then, than saggers are now.

  • Bubs

    The only thing I would agree with is that Rich was particularly hit-or-miss in this one. Only like 1/2 of his jokes were coherent. But Mike is always able to turn it around and just make us laugh at Rich, rather than with him. It’s the Magic of Mike. Otherwise I had fun. I didn’t mind the long intro because those videos were so fuckin bizarre my brain needed the time to adjust.

  • Sully

    Who would you like, and I’ll make you one.

  • tOmy`

    I am a multitasking cheerleader. Every time I need to check a translation of… some… cheerleading term from… cheerleader’s guide… to frat parties, I have a time to quickly look at this tab.

    It evens me out. Better than Vicodine.

  • Doctor John Smith

    I assumed you sit around dreaming of restarting the ‘Witch Hunts’ Senator McCarthy.

  • Palpatine

    Was he blaming me for something before?

  • Like Icare

    I think they (p)added the long intro due to the lack of content in the originally chosen tapes.

  • I’ll give you that. Whatever Mike touches, it turns into shit gold.

  • Bubs

    If I’m being objective, Mike is the only reason I really come to RLM. Everyone else is good, but I think I have a (not gay) man-crush on him. Like, if he died, everything would be lacking in that oh-so-necessary cynical flavor.

  • Palpatine

    Wasn’t he the guy behind the Salem Wolfman Trials?

  • Well, I think they are quite aware of the fact that he might be the main drawing factor, remember when Half in the Bag jumped the shark in episode 6 (I think)? That other Mike who looked like Rich Evans just wasn’t doing it for me.

  • B
    O
    T
    H

  • Doctor John Smith

    Thats right. in a little thing called WW1!

  • Like Icare

    Oh yeah… Uncle Joe did his shopping “old school”.

    With a surprise trip to Lefortovo prison at 4 A.M. for a short talk with the human-sized meat grinder.

  • Bubs

    Wait a second… we just had a disagreement… on the internet… and instead of turning into man-children, we discussed our differing opinions like adults. What the fuck is wrong with you?! EVERYONE GET HIM!

  • Doctor John Smith

    the Not-Gays is so gay.

  • Uh… What I meant to say was – fuck you, asshole.

    *whispers* Was that OK?*

  • Bubs

    That’s what I would expect from one such as you a faggot marvel fanboi!

  • Doctor John Smith

    You got off this time son. but watch your self.

  • Bubs

    Can I get off too?
    #OmittedButNotForgotten

  • Hank_Henshaw

    The Very Special Episode of Wheel of the Worst.

  • bleurgh

    My wife and I disagree with your comment. I have a wife. LOOOK AT MEEEEEEE!

  • Hey, he had to feed the party lackeys higher ups with something. http://www.smakizpolski.com.pl/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/kaszanka_z_cebula_i_jablkami.jpg

  • Does she live in Canada?

  • Sully
  • Sully

    RACIST!!!!

  • Bubs

    Congrats! Marriage is a colossal waste of time and outdated concept truly sacred.

  • Ogrot

    Some would say you have foreseen it.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    While I agree with you, Wheel of the Worst is really a lottery. Just because the last 2 tries didn’t have good videos for them to work with (not RLM’s fault, because again, lottery), I’m not ready to give up on it. Without the wheel we would’ve never had the Cleared For Takeoff/Tales From Genesis Space/SOS extravaganza.

    We live, or die, at the mercy of the whims of the Wheel.

  • Palpatine

    Test bar, flash bar, bamawama!

  • Are you saying the moderators are here?

  • instant relief

    Quick, hide Omitted in the closet!

  • Well, at least we have someone to blame. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBWxYSfc0jc

  • tOmy`

    *shrieks in panic*

  • Palpatine

    Chinese moderators are mean.

  • Doctor John Smith
  • Palpatine

    Is that from when you jammed a TV signal like that Max Headroom guy?

  • Domo

    Nobody will expect Omitted to be in the closet.

    It’ll be perfect!

  • Doctor John Smith

    You know the Doctor is from a long time ago in a galaxy far far away…

  • instant relief

    Kanye and Tom are still in there. I hope there’s enough room.

  • Palpatine

    Did he live on Courscant?

  • Domo

    Heroes on both sides is the Doctor Who motto.

  • Jean-François Martel

    it touched on very important subjects, like anti-asian racism and quasi molestation.

  • Palpatine

    Can evil robots be counted as heroes?

  • Domo

    When your main saying is “Exterminate,” you’re obviously a hero in my book!

  • Doctor John Smith

    He… I lived on the southern continent known as ‘Wild Endeavor’ on Gallifrey in they ‘Old Time’ in the constellation of Kasterborous.

  • Jean-François Martel

    is this a penis thing?

  • Palpatine

    I have no idea what you’re saying.

  • Doctor John Smith
  • Doctor John Smith

    Translation…. WOOKIE, ENDOR! MIDICLORINS ARE HEROIN!!!!!!

  • Jean-François Martel

    I wish i could see the comment that prompted this response.

  • Jean-François Martel
  • Jean-François Martel

    he would have lost it on this episode. it would have been his heaven.

  • Palpatine

    Sorry, but I have to disagree with you. I prefer WotW over BotW because there’s more variety to it. On BotW it’s either bad action movies, bad horror movies, or bad sci-fi movies.

  • Jean-François Martel

    i obviously would be played by none other than Shannen Doherty

  • Jean-François Martel

    you think he’s gonna go Method for this role or Ham it up à la Terminator Salvation?

  • http://assets1.ignimgs.com/2015/05/13/supergirl0513151280jpg-dca2b2_1280w.jpg
    “I’ll let you decide, but the answer is yes”.

  • But is the variety enough to keep it entertaining, Palpy?

  • Palpatine

    Hell yes!

  • Sully

    90210 or Charmed? Because it matters.

  • smek2

    hahaha, even though we admit we’re not even sure what asian language is spoken, we automatically assume they’re being oppressed. For laughs. Hahaha, racism is fun.

  • Mick Travis

    As long as McFraudlane only wrote a check instead of writing or directing it, I’m in!

  • Mick Travis

    According to a YouTube comment its Cantonese, but whatever…

  • Mick Travis

    It’s a contract not an institution.

  • tOmy`

    Look, when the push comes to shove, we know how they say “S.O.S.”, so we will be able to help them.

  • Marvin Falz

    Oh, I love loopholes, especially the frosted flavor ones. Brought to you by Dunkin’ Donuts. I believe the Lord loves Dunkin’ Donuts too.

  • Mick Travis

    Did you hear? Marcie had a great layover on that new Stewardess show…

  • Doctor John Smith

    Americans dont understand Hong Kong.

  • Mick Travis

    I miss her, Jocelyn and Jay’s girl.

  • instant relief
  • Mick Travis

    Alex Jones needs to watch more RLM stuff…send him a text!

  • I don’t know. Unless you like watching people suffer… which in your case might make sense with you being Sith and all.

  • Domo

    I like the WoTW because it’s not so much about the videos, it’s about RLM. They get to be much more off the cuff and weird and you get to see a different side to their humor that you wouldn’t see when reviewing a bad movie. The editing oftentimes is insane, their unhappiness and discomfort is amusing, and their ‘friendly’ banter from being friends for so many years is charming.

  • A few people said that here too.

  • Domo

    But did anyone say it on Reddit, or Patreon? That’s the important question! 🙂

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Someone mentioned it in MySpace RLM community.

  • This just in: Yes. Whatever, we’re better than them.

    They get to talk to Jack while we get to talk to LEN-MOTHERFUCKING-KABASINSKI.

    inb4: It’s a joke. Still, it’s cool to see Len drop by and comment from time to time.

  • Like Icare

    The few… The proud… The hopeless romantics.

  • Domo

    Better head over to the wombspace RLM community, so I can be the first to say it there!

  • Jean-François Martel

    Charmed.
    Washed-up has-been Shanned Doherty for me.

  • Like Icare

    Wombspace is a sexist community.

    Just imagine a ballspace community.

    It would have a rope ladder one must climb to get there and a “No grulz alawed” sign…

  • Why would anyone want to live on French pastry?

  • Domo

    Too bad Eloise Clown didn’t have that “No Grulz alawed” sign as part of her grieving repertoire. That would have been hysterical.

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    Oh thanks, I was looking for that!

  • Palpatine

    I just find it interesting that they’re reviewing things that not too many people review.

  • Like Icare

    Low rent? Flexible working hours? Other… benefits?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=OK8uPFwL4Xk#t=72

  • Domo

    Sorry, Eloise. There’s already a clown that makes us feel better in this neck of the woods. And he makes Plinkett reviews once every 3 years.

    His name is Palpy Clown.

    http://i.imgur.com/6im4N0s.jpg

  • Like Icare

    Maybe she stuffed it in her pocket and forgot about it.
    Like pain and grief and suffering and torture and…

  • dollar store cashier wife

    the sub is pure AIDS. no wonder jack “”””moderates it”””””

  • Palpatine

    I just got creeped out by my own face.

  • Bubs

    I think racism is fuckin hysterical. Welcome to ‘Merka the internet adulthood Earth.

  • Like Icare

    Product may contain teeth and surgical implants.

  • [NSFW] I may have gone too far in a few places.

    http://i.imgur.com/rPVcM8C.jpg

  • Mick Travis

    WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOUR FAAAACE?

  • Like Icare

    Yeah… Mornings…

  • Cat allergies.

  • People review BOXES nowadays… meaning people will review anything.

  • Patreon: Used cat blankets for Rich Evans 2015

  • Sully
  • It works! I’m not grieving feeling anything anymore!

  • You mean the ones that gave Indians smallpox?
    #BotWreference

  • Wow, Doherty looks like she’s on top of her game.

  • Indians? Is that the group that is always in the way when we want more Casinos built?

  • Like Icare

    Make that b into a d’ble reversed b… Bitches don’t know about my reversed b.

    Or design it stylistically around following groups of letters:
    db-alls-pa-ys

    Such effects would be undiminishable.

  • Cantonese? Pfft, that not American! You racist ricist!

  • tOmy`

    Basically. But we just throw some colorful beads in their general direction and build a brand new Subway on their graveyard anyways.

    It’s called progress.

  • Like Icare

    She had to go back to her planet to Paris, though.

    No wonder French refused to help out USA with their Iraq thing.
    After years of being sent the most obnoxious characters, France was fed up with it.
    So much they commissioned a song about it.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z15snGzGFpo

  • Mick Travis

    Am I the only one who misses Plinkett’s cat? EATING PUSSY didn’t do much to bolster his career.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, eating pussy is generally considered a bit of a deal-breaker. [citation needed]

  • Like Icare

    It’s like poetry. It mirrors. Hopefully.

  • Allright. *ding ding ding ding* Gentlemen and gurls. Answer these questions and win special prices.

    What year will Eloise Clown be starring in a M.N Shamamylon movie?
    1. 2015
    x. 2016
    2. 2017

    Why would M.N Shababanam be so desperate to cast E. Clown?
    1. He’s just Sonypictures pawn
    x. He actually believes that water can kill aliens
    3. He is a graduate from clown collage himself

  • Sully

    I couldn’t find a better image of Franco Citti for Earth though.

    https://41.media.tumblr.com/5d02ec7139e85181eca4cdee820a5db7/tumblr_ntjqseK3je1ud12ouo1_540.jpg

  • Mick Travis

    Eloise is too busy meeting with Josh Trank right now.

  • Sully

    Answers:

    All of the Above

    All of the Above

  • Marvin Falz

    I’m pretty sure it’s English just in another language. I was amazed how much I was able to understand, like everytime they switched to clips from Jurassic Park I clearly knew what they were saying. I liked most what the car was saying. Vroom. Such poetry.

  • I’m sorry your answer is incorrect. Also you misspelled AIDS.

  • Mick Travis

    Oh, sorry, none of the above. Eloise is going to be with Josh for a long time.

  • Sully

    Did I win? Did I lose? WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?!?!

  • It’s like a Japanese game show. Whoever wins, we lose our braincells.

  • K.L

    How could we laugh when they were in such pain?

  • Domo

    Can’t Eloise just make her own film? She clearly knows how to exploit and terrify people.

    She’s perfect for Hollywood.

  • instant relief

    Schadenfreude, Geordi! Same reason we all laugh at your blindness.

  • I sent you a copy of Nukie. Might take a few weeks. I taped a VHS on a fox and told him to find Sully, Sully the fox.

  • Palpatine

    Are you trying to kill him?!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I thought that was Carrie Fischer

  • Sully

    Ah, yes… the trustiest of parcel services. For when your express needs to be express.

    http://i.imgur.com/qfGVuGh.jpg

  • tOmy`

    “Read This: An oral history of how a bomb like Theodore Rex is made” – AV Club

    http://www.avclub.com/article/read-oral-history-how-bomb-theodore-rex-made-224232

  • tOmy`

    I just realized something fucking cool – just by pasting 6 fucking rules of Disqus, I broke 3 of them:

    Stay On-topic
    No Self-promotion
    Choose Your (Curse) Words Wisely
    Don’t Be a Jerk
    Don’t Copy and Paste
    English Only

    Additionally, breaking the other 3 is as easy as: “Jsem celkem sexy cheerleader”, motherfuckers.

  • Eh, fuck it.

  • tOmy`

    That was a very bad choice of your curse words.

  • Palpatine

    Those rules aren’t enforced here.

  • Niccageshair

    These are coming out of the How Did This Get Made podcast. There is also one about the movie Top Dog. The movie where Chuck Norris fights white supremacists……with a dog.

  • tOmy`

    Are you implying that I am not an outlaw?!

  • I could have sworn I read about this on another site. Probably someone saw the link on reddit and decided to copypaste the whole thing.

  • Niccageshair

    Most of these go against the very nature of message boards.

  • Amontillado

    Excuuuuse me, but as the most awesome of possums, we really need to consider the greatness of the dingo. Seeing as tOmy and maggit can’t posssssibly comprehend the awesome of the dingo dingo dingo dingo dingo dingo dingo dingo dingo dingo dingo DAS FUUURNTHEOAFHIOADSFISDN**!HGHFGM()$ etc. etc. etc.

  • tOmy`

    *internet

  • Amontillado

    No, it’s meatloaf, the most awesome of stuff called food

  • Niccageshair

    *humanity

  • You know what they can do with their rules? The same thing Stallone does to them in Demolition Man.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rVQGT01Kzg

  • Amontillado

    The episode were Rich learns about death and Colin realizes Jim was a ghost all along helping him find closure when he lost his cat as a child.

  • You’re a rebel. With pompoms.

  • Amontillado

    Penguines, the natural allies to Hack Frauds – OF COURSE!

  • Niccageshair

    Well when he follows the rules shit like this happens.

    https://youtu.be/k80UQWWUIYs?t=2m15s

  • Sully

    Fuck that, motherfucker! I’m the best! Check out my profile: https://silvercrossfox.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/fox_profile_by_silvercrossfox-d55e1kz.png

    Ithe cac, molester mháthair.

  • Palpatine

    I am.

  • Amontillado

    Shots fired! Meow!

  • tOmy`

    Molester Mháthair? Is that a title of GoT episode?

  • Amontillado

    Not just an outlaw, the dark side: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ij4w7ChpuaM

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I can see the idea of five assholes watching a video tape with a creepy dead clown that eventually haunts them as a movie.

  • Niccageshair

    Stephen King’s Stand by It:The Fellowship of the Ringling Brothers

  • Sully

    Could’ve been. Probably should’ve been.

  • Palpatine

    Someone *cough*Sully*cough* should photoshop the RLM crew and Rainbow the Clown onto the poster of Stephen King’s It.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    With Christian Bale as Rich Evans

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Eloise Cole is dead.
    -Jay Bauman

  • Palpatine

    “You guys wanna go see a dead clowns body?”

  • Niccageshair

    A younger Kim Bodnia as Mike

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Excuse me but we can’t recast Mike. His actor is under contract.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    She was buried in her clown suit.

  • Amontillado

    For crying out loud, how could we not laugh when this is what Geordi sees: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cs2A6BIKrIM

  • Niccageshair

    Ok fine but tell me this isn’t movie Mike and Jay right here.
    http://www.horrordvds.com/reviews/n-z/nightwatch/nightwatch_shot2l.jpg

  • Amontillado

    We cackle in glee at your misery: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOOLUEvPvx8

  • instant relief

    Nerdgasmic!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Why are we not talking about Backdoor Stunting?

  • instant relief

    ’cause Omi died trying one.

    R.I.P.

  • Niccageshair

    Because the first rule of Backdoor Stunting is not to talk about it?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The second being letting your partner bend over by himself?

  • Sully

    That’s the third rule. The second rule is also not talking about.

  • Palpatine

    And Bryce Dallas Howard as Jessi.

  • Palpatine

    Because it was the only good one, and we never talk about good things on here.

  • Dan

    This wheel couldn’t go wrong, great episode

  • Sully

    *right

    Fixed it for ya.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The bending over part?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’m practically RLM-dead right now, but I’ll be even more RLM-dead in the week to come since my internet has been disconnected for a short while.

    Rich speed, everyone!

  • Sully

    Yes. Sounds like someone’s not in the club.

    Not that I’m in the club or anything…

  • CalamityCorp

    33:45

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Oh yeah, I also just watched “The Act of Killing” today. Anyone else see it? It’s kinda fucked, and I just watched ‘Scanners’ last night. “A documentary which challenges former Indonesian death-squad leaders to reenact their mass-killings in whichever cinematic genres they wish, including classic Hollywood crime scenarios and lavish musical numbers.”

  • tOmy`

    There is nothing more lavish about a musical number than a death-squad. Trust me. I saw Grease.

  • Tommy

    The bromance between Mike and Rich is strong this episode.

  • tOmy`

    Take care! Or, since you are from Canadistan: Take free care, please!

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Inject some Care Boars into your veins.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    A communications disruption can mean only thing: invasion.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Nothing is as fucked up as Eloise Cole Slaw the Clown.

  • tOmy`

    I honestly think that if there was a RLM-done jumpscare during the clown viewing video, I would have shit myself. That thing is creepy.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I generally snort Care Boars but I guess I can inject for this week. It’ll go well with the shots of Animated Plinkett I’ve been drinking.

  • Niccageshair

    I thought the third was take turns bending each other over. Maybe my section is different than yours Sully.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    It could also mean Mitch forgot to pay his phone bills.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It might be better to use an aquarium.

  • Niccageshair

    That cut to IT got me for a second.

  • HeftyJo

    I would just go full strength clown venom at this point.

  • Palpatine

    Rainbow the Clown can’t be dead, I just saw her earlier in the storm drain outside my house where she offered me a balloon and then told me that they “all float down here”.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Source: The Hospital Clown Newsletter?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    They all float? Better cut down on the intake of dairy products.

  • Sully

    I have the universal copy. You’ve probably got some underground Mexican cage orgy version no one wants to partake in.

  • Sully

    I thought the Canadian Invasion door swung the other direction.

  • Bubs

    That deadly cocktail is otherwise known as “A Low Irritant Can of Raid”

  • tOmy`

    Awwwwww, music reference joke! My evil plan is finally soaking through the comment section and swallowing the gang itself.

    I am also quite sad that Omie wasn’t here for this very sentence.

  • Sully

    Yup. Too much fat passing through the ol’ butthole stew factory.

  • Snake Squeezer

    It was eerie the state of mind it puts you in. Everyone is so matter of fact talking about the truly horrible things they’ve done. Chilling, and brilliant.

  • http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nb7PDlPgd3M/VManWNlQoVI/AAAAAAAAVJk/GH-75h-vQbM/s1600/6%2B%282%29.gif

    Hm… Google knows too much about me. While looking for vomit gif one of the first images that came up was: http://replygif.net/thumbnail/1043.gif

  • quick_moranis

    I haven’t gotten passed the wheel spins yet, but if they don’t start fucking on the living room table while using loose video tape to wrap around their junk as poorly thought out makeshift condoms you have set up for server disappointment.

  • I’ll save you the disappointment. There’s some mild on-screen petting.

  • Palpatine

    Isn’t it strange how happy looking clowns are creepier than scary looking ones?

  • tOmy`

    I hope this is not the kind of “SOS translation clusterfuck”, because I wasn’t paying much attention, but here is a poem by Eloise Cole titled Borrowed Hope:

    Lend me your hope for awhile.
    I seem to have mislaid mine.
    Lost and hopeless feelings accompany me daily.
    Pain and confusion are my companions.
    I know not where to turn.
    Looking ahead to the future times
    does not bring forth images of renewed hope.
    I see mirthless times, pain-filled days,
    and more tragedy.
    Lend me your hope for awhile,
    I seem to have mislaid mine.
    Hold my hand and hug me;
    listen to all my ramblings.
    I need to unleash the pain and let it tumble out.
    Recovery seems so far distant;
    the road to healing a long and lonely one.
    Stand by me; offer me your presence.
    Your ears and your love
    acknowledge my pain. It is so real and ever present.
    I am overwhelmed with sad and conflicting thoughts.
    Lend me your hope for awhile,
    A time will come when I will heal
    and I will lend my renewed hope to others.

  • If you become a grief-clown does it mean you grief people to death?

  • tOmy`

    You just do the “grief-to-the-face” routine.

  • I will use it as the lyrics to my newest instrumental song.

  • Palpatine

    Christ, throw a pie or something!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Eloise, you told me to hook my child up to a turtle! It didn’t work!

  • tOmy`

    This actually does explain a lot about Eloise, but I urge everyone before reading to either get a pack of tissues or embrace your cynicism to the fullest, because holy shit:

    “Eloise was abandoned by her birth parents and adopted into a fascinating but dysfunctional family. She grew up with multiple challenges that tested her ability to survive, both physically and emotionally.

    In 1975, Eloise married a young widower named Elwood Cole who had four teenage children. Two of the four, Mark and Dan, had a life threatening neuromuscular disease and were quadriplegic. This new family of six pulled together and became a tight family unit.

    Mark, the oldest, managed to live off campus while studying at the local University when he suddenly suffered a cardiac arrest and died. While Mark was very ill, he had been considered the healthiest of the two boys and his death was not expected at that time.

    A few months prior to Mark’s death, Eloise’s father had died. Twenty days following Mark’s death, Eloise’s mother collapsed and died from an undiagnosed aneurysm. Around the same time, the family dog also died and the roof blew off the house.”

    Damn…

  • tOmy`

    Read below and grab a whole lorry of pies. Honestly. We gonna need it.

  • Palpatine

    I’m just surprised she didn’t become a serial killer with that clown costume of hers.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s too bad she couldn’t help that little baby with MacGregor’s syndrome.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    She’s already a death god.

  • tOmy`

    There is apparently a version of this poem already transformed to the song called “Lend Me Your Hope”. But after reading her life story and the fucking poem, I have no guts to actually look it up.

  • Palpatine

    If you’re going to kill someone, you mine as well do it dressed as a clown. Believe me, I know.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    *Ewan McDonald’s syndrome.

  • Ian McDiarmid?

  • thatdouchewhodontlikeyourplaye

    As a huge fan of all RedLetterMedia’s work with Half-In-The-Bag, Best Of The Worst, etc…I have to ask if the camera being focused on the background is a stylistic choice or just an oversight?

    Every RLM video that shows Mike, Jay, Rich (or anyone else) talking on-screen, the people are out of focus while the background is in sharp focus. I don’t know if it’s on purpose, but I noticed it in every video RLM has ever made.

    If this isn’t on purpose, I’d recommend RLM stop using the auto-focus on your cameras and manually set the focus to the faces of the people talking about movies. The out-of-focus problem isn’t a big one, but it’s there and very noticeable.

    I’m not complainin, I’m just sayin…

  • To be honest, I’ve never noticed but you’ve just confirmed that the levels of their hackfraudery are off the charts.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I was a class clown, does that count

  • Palpatine

    They’re just like Lucas by showing off their amazing background images.

  • A dead death god. She’s probably also deaf. Because she’s dead.

  • RLMkeepitup

    you patient bastard, holding it in until now

  • Sully

    You’re obviously a novice in the ways of hack-fraudery.

  • tOmy`

    Until I saw this episode, I thought it is us going too far. I… I don’t think so anymore.

  • Sully

    Google knows everything about you now. You should probably move before Amazon drops a tactical nuke on your front porch.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hey, have you been taking your brain medicine? You know the kinda that stops you from making stupid comments? Because if so I’ve got tons of it.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well this is our theme song now

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKggnBh2Mdw

  • Smokin’!

  • tOmy`

    You are looking at their faces? For 50 minutes?

    What… what is wrong with you?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Heavy doobies?

  • Shhh…. Not so loud. They’re still illegal in bizarro Idaho.

  • Sully

    Skulls painted up as clowns. It’s everything you’d hoped it would be.

    http://i.imgur.com/HbWJBnO.jpg

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Which one is Eloise Cole Slaw?

  • tOmy`
  • Malevolence

    Collin’s friend smokes one too many doobies before getting on the show…. but seeing those vids… I understand why

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “Man, he must be smoking some heavy doobies”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    *fart*

  • Palpatine

    Fuckin’ magnets, how do they work?!

  • thatdouchewhodontlikeyourplaye

    My brain medicine fell in toilet and I’m too scared to reach in and grab it. What if I get poop on my hands?

  • tOmy`

    Remove said poop by urinating on it forcefully.

    I call it The Battleship scenario.

  • thatdouchewhodontlikeyourplaye

    The real kicker is that it’s not ALL the shots…just most of them. For example Rich and Jim are properly focused but the shots with Mike and Collin were so out of whack it made me go cross-eyed.

    So…using complex mathematical algorithms that I stole from a scientist man, I’ve calculated that RLM’s levels of hackfraudery are unchanged.

  • thatdouchewhodontlikeyourplaye

    Well…since “Backyard Stunts” should have been called “Backdoor Stunts” I was in-character and pretended I wanted to fuck men…especially Rich.

  • tOmy`

    Are you calling The Evans a mere man?

  • Sully

    Both………………………….

  • thatdouchewhodontlikeyourplaye

    Man, I was so jealous when Mike was cuddling with Rich that I found I was unable to do anything to relieve my stress….so I fucked an R5D4 toy I had sitting on the shelf.

  • frankelee

    This was the drunkest episode I’ve seen so far.

    “You gotta know how to vote on this show… Really!”

  • tOmy`

    As some of you might know, I have a temp job (believe it or not, cheerleading doesn’t pay that well, cheerleader-related STD tests and abortions are pretty expensive) and that is translating documentaries for Discovery. I have to honestly say that I can see their progress throughout these years.

    The acting, writing, soundtrack even editing and effects are getting better and better. Also, because I mostly do murder / crime documentaries, they are getting more and more brutal, scary and graphic.

    #GoodJobDiscovery

  • instant relief

    If they can’t stand watching shitty movies without the booze, maybe they should look for other hobbies.

  • instant relief

    Will you continue to cook my meals in the nude tho?

  • tOmy`

    Absolutely. Just make sure to not instantly relieve yourself on my pon-pons again. Can you imagine how long I had to suck them just to get them clean again?

    I think I officially made myself sick now. Back to work.

  • instant relief

    Thank you, you’re too kind! That instantly relieves me! Oh, no! NOT AGAIN! Sorry!

  • instant relief

    Heavy duty?

  • tOmy`

    Oh come on! I even brought a fucking towel!

    http://i.ytimg.com/vi/s0pLsa11r00/hqdefault.jpg

  • Doctor John Smith

    pom-poms! sometimes i think u might not be a real cheerleader.

  • instant relief

    You seriously expect me to aim? Where’s the passion and the surprise in that?

  • Palpatine

    Do you ever wonder if I’m really Palpatine?

  • instant relief

    I have a suspicion that he’s not a real doctor.

  • tOmy`

    Look, I ain’t no native speaker, mkay? We don’t call them that. And don’t let the fact that I don’t know the Czech word either confuse you.

  • tOmy`

    Why am I talking about this:

    In the [redacted], there is an actual one minute long scene where the friend of the dead girl describes the way she was stabbed to death while being raped. All this is being said in the background, while the camera casually looks to the windows of the house, where you can watch the whole scene unravel – girl desperately calling for help, hooded killer strolling through apartment, all set to Requiem For A Dream-esque soundtrack. It is described very colorfully, especially when her friend talks about how the killer dragged her to the bedroom, undressed her, raped her and killed her.

    This last particular segment is set to the visuals of half-opened bedroom doors, through which you can see the rocking bed (for solid 40 seconds, just by the way) and hear muffled “No!”s echoing in your headset. Take notes.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Who do you think you’re kidding? If you have tons of that not-making-stupid-comments medicine, you’re not taking it either.

    #Kisses

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    It means you can shove more grief than seems possible into a Volkswagen.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    GAWD that’s awful poetry. And I know awful poetry: I just sat through Khalil Gibran’s The Prophet.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    McDonald’s Happy Meal Syndrome

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Not. A. Single. Sad. Beagle. Puppy.

    #SarahMaclachlinFail

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    That’s a brilliant movie, and there’s a follow-up out recently that I can’t wait to see…The Look of Silence, and hi Taco, we miss you.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    That Butcher guy looks just like Mark Cuban.

    #IGotNothing

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Don’t don’t about things you don’t like. Lessons of life.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    The fourth is “Go ahead and talk about it so that you get bent over and kicked angrily.”

  • Earth

    Considering my profiles, either Franco Citti or Michael Cera would probably be appropriate. I have no idea what photo though http://content9.flixster.com/photo/13/83/14/13831491_ori.jpg

    If you do this, I will be eternally grateful. I will ban fox hunting in Britain for you once our government (most likely) reinstates it.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    They think it’s safe to laugh and laugh, but they accidentally bring back Eloise Clown Slaw from the dead, and she’s obviously bitter because (one) she’s dead and (B) they’re laughing even while she’s in so much pain. Then jump scares, and a Chinese dwarf has to come to the warehouse to conduct an exorcism in Cantonese.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Or as he calls them…bon bons.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Eh, fuck it cunt. Better?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Are we sure though? There were so many socks being tossed around in here last night I thought I was a laundry machine.

    It’s just, after the Ban Crisis, I can’t be certain who is really who anymore.

  • instant relief

    I need moar diqsaus. Just saying.

  • Jason Robins

    You guys should make 1 and a half hour videos of you guys going through the whole wheel and selling them on bandcamp and on DVD’s

  • Andrew Dickman

    They fucking changed shirts when they flew in, ayyy lmao

  • Mick Travis

    I wrote a review about it for the paper. It’s outstanding and should have won Best Documentary over that 20 FEET FROM STARDOM; actually, ACT OF KILLING won 58 international awards. It’s that fucking good.

  • Mick Travis

    The public demands more women on the show period. This is getting just wayyy too gayyy…

  • Damn. The clown business got to real. I’m out. No more jokes about that.

    #guyolt

  • stryker1121

    Was Mike serious about “El-oyze Cole?”

  • RLMkeepitup

    no more clowning around

  • RLMkeepitup

    40 very solid seconds that’s sure to get the ratings pumpin!

  • iagrmc

    I got married yesterday, but the new BotW is still the highlight of my weekend.

  • Sully

    I’ve already done it, like, several hours ago. It’s somewhere in the feed, but to save you some scrolling, here’s a link to the page.

    http://redletterstory.tumblr.com

  • Niccageshair

    So……that explains the Luchador masks. But why was no one speaking Spanish?

  • Sully

    Every time I see your profile pic, this is all I see.

    https://ragglefragglereviews.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/anastasia-1997-09-g.jpg

    Pound Sign: OnceUponADecember

  • FOCUS!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    With Margot Robbie and Will Smith?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Go to real? Who is Real?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    We’re stretching this longer than small sized underwear on Michael Moore.

  • Malevolence

    Rich took those “hits” like a champ

  • Wizard Phoenix

    According to the Hospital Clown Newsletter there is some sort of conspiracy going .”The night before Eloise arrived, Camilla Gryski from TORONTO, Korey Thompson from MILWAUKEE and I were sitting around the dinner table in the suite.” Not only is Eloise Cole Slaw connected to RLM but also Jim and Colin.

  • Sully

    Thanks for the visual, you cruel motherfucker.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Jack editing space cop live on prev. recorded twitch. no wonder its taking 12 years to make.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Not as fucked up as the connection I found between RLM and Eloise Cole.

  • Palpatine

    There’s a Hospital Clown Newletter?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes, I found it by Googling Eloise Cole Clown….that sounds wrong.

  • Malevolence

    “Take it Blair…” ….. I was dying XD

  • Palpatine

    Normally she would Google you.

  • Crisis of Infinite Bans?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    She is a Mesopotamian death god. They all use Bing.

  • Palpatine

    Bing; the favorite search engine for evil gods since 5000 B.C.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    And Spider-Man.

  • Palpatine

    It’s most famous users include Satan, Hades, Loki, and Eloise Cole.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Her full death god name is Eloise Cole Slaw. I believe there was a cult that was form a few centuries ago named The Church of Cole Slaw.

  • Most likely he was drunk.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s her death god named. Minus the Slaw.

  • Amontillado

    Calamity – god bless you and may Len Kabasinski smile good fortune upon you always

  • Amontillado

    Great thought of the day: though Percy Gryce, tOmy, maggit, Palpi, Boss Nass, and many others – too many to name here, have established the RLM foundational fan base and Disquis group, it is time to take it to the next step if it hasn’t been taken already. I have seen the fanbase, but do we have a religious order yet? Shall we create the High Holy Order of the RLM? With patron saints and deities, and such – really the whole schebang. If it hasn’t happened already, it should, we need to establish the Church of the RLM.

  • Amontillado

    How dare you! Wizard do not smear the Spider-Man’s name, he is a but a fragile nerd…

  • Amontillado

    “Eat this spoonful of Mayo in remembrance of me…”

  • Mugato

    Again no Jessi. I guess she isn’t coming back. 🙁

  • Palpatine

    She died on the way back to her home planet.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Jessi has returned to her home planet.

  • Palpatine

    The kid from Thunderpants helped bring her there.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    “She was alive! I felt her! She was alive! It’s impossible! No!!! “

  • Amontillado

    Thank you, now sleep has become a distant memory

  • Amontillado

    Poor is the pupil that does not surpass the teacher … then again, no disciple was ever better than Jesus

  • Amontillado

    Even though you cannot see Jessi, she is always with you, at the right hand of Emperor Palpatine, making sure you fart inappropriately always, as is her want

  • fred

    I have many doubts on her goodness.

  • Palpatine

    Was their temple on top of 55 Central Park West?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Well, I think thats very touching.

  • Mick Travis

    Makes me sad as she was so delightful. No more Jocelyn & Gillian either…man, RLM needs to recruit another female voice for their projects, seriously!

  • Mick Travis

    No with William H. Macy…

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What do you mean? She was in Jurassic World.

  • Palpatine

    That comment was meant for me, wasn’t it?

  • RLMkeepitup

    I half expected Wizard on this one since he was just on one of the pre-rec streams. was Jocelyn the cop on troll 2?

  • Oh, c’mon Percy… don’t pull a Faddlechud and disappear forever. You know that shit ain’t cool.

  • My ideal lover is gagged and bent over a chable.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Pon-Pons is slang for nipples. Specifically if they have a lot of hair growing around them.

  • Concerned Citizen

    Why didn’t anything get destroyed?

  • David Axelord

    I did a little research on Eloise Cole, I was curious about her poetry (it is as bleak as you’d imagine). Turns out she was abandoned by her birth parents, and adopted. She married a widower (perhaps attracted to his grief?), and following this two of his quadriplegic sons died of a neuromuscular illness, as well as her adoptive mother and father. Cole herself died in 2005 after a four month battle with lung cancer. The profile I got this from has an inspirational remark that I find ominous:

    “She would often say that although her body had cancer, her spirit did not.”

    This woman was surrounded by death, despair and misery throughout her life, and her spirit did not die with her. I think the Red Letter Media guys should probably take measures to protect themselves from ghosts or Mesopotamian death gods following this episode, Rainbow the Revenant is not pleased, and shall return to sow grief among the living once more…

  • junkevil

    there are already a lot of churches dedicated to people who are so obsessed with the forest that they can’t see the trees though. at this point it’s not even like beating a dead horse as much as it’s like beating a horses grave.

  • Mick Travis

    Jocelyn, aka Nadine

  • Imesseduptheemail

    If nothing else, her background explains why a being such as the grief clown could come into existence.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Do you ever wonder if something’s really wrong with my face?

  • Commander X

    Top Dog is great, because it’s an action comedy that tries to mix sub-par sitcom level antics while dealing with the threat of terrorists planning a major assault who murder people who get to close. A hit squad is sent to take out Chuck Norris, but they’re all wearing zany clown masks, complete with noses that go “beep” if pressed, like the police dog does to the leader after Chuck knocks him out. Ha. Ha.

  • Commander X

    It’s from Jonathon Ames, who also brought us HBO’s Bored to Death, which is a whole different ballgame than what I was expecting what with hearing “Seth McFarlane”.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    “Character age: 15
    Robot age: 31”

    What does that even mean?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    This is the new Samurai Cop is alive thing isn’t it?

  • Doctor John Smith

    Thats a good point you could be anyone…. are you Andrew?

  • Doctor John Smith

    Its been done already. Mike is God, then there is Jaysus and the Holy Evens.
    As it says in the book Genisys according to Rich. 12.21 “There is nothing original any more.”

  • Doctor John Smith

    Apparently according to a eulogy from a friend the Death God Eloise Cole Slaw she referred to her self a ‘Mother Grief’
    Fucking clowns man, i hate them sooooo much.

    https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-Nh7syyYHUX0/VLJMf1VF90I/AAAAAAAAAIQ/dNcJ-kKYcqQ/w809-h544-no/1375247014_199022-we_all_float_down_here_.jpg

  • You know what they say when you’re haunted by a spirit hungry for revenge,
    FUCK OFF, GHOST!!!

  • Those are dead juggalos.

  • Marvin Falz

    This line has been refined over centuries of exorcism in Italian monasteries.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I’m twelve and what is this?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yeah, well, these guys sucked anyway.

  • Kawaii as Fuck

    Rainbow the Clown looks like John Wayne Gacy’s grandma.

  • Doctor John Smith

    So apparently Eloise Cole Sloar(AKA the Bagool of Vagoo, Mother Grief, Agonal, Satan, George Lucas…ETC) is in Tobin’s Spirit Guide.
    Although the translations of my copy are questionable.
    https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-ckl27yGIKWU/VLJeOlqRgkI/AAAAAAAAAO4/1_R2IK4JiE0/w769-h577-no/DSC_0312.jpg

  • People do that you know, there’s this thing called “high-gene”.

  • Sully

    I blame Andrew Reddit.

  • Indiana Jaws
  • Indiana Jaws
  • Indiana Jaws
  • Indiana Jaws
  • Indiana Jaws
  • Indiana Jaws

    mmm Margot Robbie :p

  • Doctor John Smith

    Hello Darling.

  • Indiana Jaws
  • Indiana Jaws

    Sounds good, but I’d rather be the Priest than the Altar Boy if that’s OK.

  • Doctor John Smith

    No thats “Hello sweetie.”

    https://youtu.be/lb35owhcVjA

  • Doctor John Smith

    When i was at catholic school we called a centre part in peoples hair the “Altar Boy Part”
    think about it.

  • Indiana Jaws

    Question: What is like the dumbest name you ever heard? Answer: ”Captain Phasma”

    Although, that would be rather inspired if The Force Awakens actually turns out to be a Star Wars spoof. Hmm, now that would be something. But then again, when was the last time Hollywood made a FUNNY spoof comedy… hmm might have to ask Grandpa about that one.

  • Sully

    One can only hope, Maggit. One can only hope.

  • Sully

    You’ll sleep when you’re dead, asshole…. which is sooner than you might think, now that we know skeleton clowns are a thing.

  • Doctor John Smith

    ‘Top Secret’ Val Kilmers best movie.

  • Amontillado

    Ah yes, how could I forget? Similarly, we only need to look a the Gospel of Mike to remember, “It’s all shit now.” Yay how wisdom is eternal.

  • Amontillado

    I think that’s doable

  • Sully

    Worse that Grand Moff Tarkin? I can’t hear that assholes name without picturing this…

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B48FuP8IcAAl_pn.jpg

  • Indiana Jaws

    You mean aside from Top Gun :p

  • Indiana Jaws

    Funny, but, that’s likable. unlike Phasma. Lucas had child-like mind, which was the best thing about Star Wars.

  • Amontillado

    Had a feeling that there must have been a discussion at some point by now…

  • cass

    Duuuude, that’s not even near Korean

  • Indiana Jaws
  • Amontillado
  • Doctor John Smith

    No, no i dont.

  • Amontillado

    Like lion brain

  • Indiana Jaws

    Now that’s a better Alice than Burton could ever come up with

  • Indiana Jaws

    I think you may have just lost that loving feeling

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEkB-VQviLI

  • Amontillado

    Infinitely way better tea parties than the Mad Hatter with that Alice

  • Doctor John Smith

    Oh so its a video war you want….

    https://youtu.be/lHjnOlQQ49U

  • Indiana Jaws

    THAT Mustang… we don’t make em like we used too

  • Doctor John Smith

    And its right hand drive. even less of them where made.

  • Indiana Jaws

    This shit is what Mad Max should’ve been more like. No Bullshit just straight up bad ass V8s, guns, blood, and rock. :p

  • Doctor John Smith

    My bad the Pontiac was RHD the Stang was full old school american. and yes Max needed some more soundtrack.

  • Doctor John Smith

    200 miles? not that far off.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    We don’t do religion well.

  • Indiana Jaws

    :p

  • instant relief

    *Smegma

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    That’s, um, kinda sad. We were all laughing while you were in such pain.

  • Indiana Jaws

    It’s all Greek to me.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    No one.

    BWAHM!

    #MindBlown

  • Indiana Jaws

    Captain Phasma, he’s our hero, gonna take Star Wars back to zero. yeah not even in the gay period of comics like back in the 20s would ya get away with Captain Phasma…

  • instant relief

    Leave the banned alone, you silicone monster.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Dipeairdiminico Suvlaki Papadimatropolis.

  • instant relief

    Can I have some gyros?

  • Doctor John Smith

    lamb or goat?

  • instant relief

    Even Age of Ultron was better than Fury Road.

  • Indiana Jaws
  • Indiana Jaws
  • Indiana Jaws

    and that movie has a giant piece of green CGI shit in it

  • Red Skeleton

    *Puts on PC hat*

    “CHINESE” ISN’T A LANGUAGE YOU STUPID WISCONSIN FUUUUUCKS!!!!!!

  • instant relief

    And somehow it’s not as bad as Attack of the Clones.

  • Indiana Jaws

    Attack of the Clowns

    @RainbowRemedies

  • instant relief

    Goatse, please. No wait!

  • Shark.

  • instant relief

    Stupid americans will all die from heart attacks before they understand.

  • Captain Boomerang
    Captain Marvel
    Captain America
    Captain Canuck (really?!)

    See a pattern here?

  • Indiana Jaws

    Hoist the main sails lads.
    Aye aye Captain Phasma (lol)

    kinda like Biggus Dickus, only dumber

  • Indiana Jaws

    this

  • Doctor John Smith

    I’m Captain Pants.

  • Doctor John Smith

    to late… bend over and say “BAAAAAAAA!”

  • Doctor John Smith

    americans are Seppos.

  • instant relief
  • instant relief

    I had to google that, but have my upvote!

  • Doctor John Smith

    Holy butt fucked frogs Batman!

  • instant relief

    I’m very stretchy.

  • Indiana Jaws

    oh yeah 😛

  • Indiana Jaws

    You’re right, it’s a lunch menu, speaking of which I could really go for some sweet n sour chihuahua right about now

  • tOmy`

    You mean the pattern of not giving a fuck?

  • tOmy`

    Let’s Have A KIKI Vol. 3 announced! Check both unspeakable places.

  • instant relief

    Guess I got something to do for the next 2 hours.

  • Indiana Jaws
  • Sully

    Lucas had a child-like mind…

    So you’re excusing Jar Jar Binks?

  • Indiana Jaws

    Honestly, Jar Jar Binks had more imagination in it’s name than Captain Phasma, That’s how bad it is. Lucas was GREAT at one thing, coming up with names for shit. And if Lucas came up with Captain Phasma, which I doubt, he had a long long list of gold before that turd.

  • instant relief

    No! Gloomu Ooptu is not a great name! And neither is Jar Jar.

  • Indiana Jaws

    Ok Gloomu Ooptu does suck, I’ll give you that. But even then it has the word gloom in it.. nah it sucks lol

  • instant relief

    Or how about General Grievous? I mean General Evilman?

  • Indiana Jaws

    Stop making me look bad, I was on a roll with Phasma dam it 😛

  • instant relief

    😀 YES!

    I’m not too fond of the new character names either. Poe Dameron and Kylo Ren really make me cringe.

  • Indiana Jaws

    They should’ve got fan votes on it. Because the people making this movie have no fucking imagination.

  • instant relief

    Or some sort of naming contest maybe.

  • Indiana Jaws

    I think that’s what I would have done, if in the production meeting somebody yelled out, ”how about Captain Phasma” I mean Captain Phasma, that shit is embarrassing.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Its like they didnt know that Hong Kong in 1996 was a English colony and made videos to teach AOL to Cantonese speaking workers.

  • instant relief

    You stupid people gotta learn your history right.

  • Indiana Jaws

    reckon you nailed it there

  • Doctor John Smith
  • Doctor John Smith

    Dont worry Marvel’s “Civil War” will teach everyone the meaning of pain.

  • instant relief

    Back in the original trilogy there were no embarrasing chracter names at all. PULL UP, PORKINS!
    https://c1.staticflickr.com/3/2097/2303217116_0ec7b053a4.jpg

  • instant relief

    You should get in touch with Jay Jay and … you know what, just surprise me! I’m sure nothing bad will ever….

  • Indiana Jaws

    Darth Vader owns Captain Phasma

    #thosetwonamesshouldneverbeinthesamesentence

  • Doctor John Smith

    I’m going to the ass bank to cash my ass cheques.

  • instant relief

    Where’s Padme?

  • Doctor John Smith

    OH dude… tots sorry but you killed her…

  • instant relief

    Awkward!!!111

  • Sully

    Names like Count Dooku, Porkins, Kit Fisto, or Plo Koon?

  • Indiana Jaws

    Plo Koon, lol, no way is that real

  • Jason Ross

    I got a copy of “The Shoji Tabuchi Family ‘Wonder of Christmas’ Show!” from a dead old lady’s house.
    Shoji’s daughter, Christina, is featured prominently … apparently they were trying to launch her own music career

  • Sully
  • Welcome Back Otter

    I’m sure she will return as someone’s Disqus account in the near future.

  • Indiana Jaws

    Being a fan of the Original movies. I knew the Phantom Menace was gonna suck. So I dodged it like the plague. It came on TV once, I fell asleep, right about where Jar Jar turns up. So for me I wasn’t angered. It was just boring. So my knowledge comes from Plinkett, and anything he never mentioned I know not of. Unless he did and I missed it. THEN after watching Plinkett, I watched the movies on youtube. Plinkett to me was funny, because I thought about all those poor bastards with expectations. That is like gallows humor I know.

  • Welcome Back Otter

    And after this episode, we also know who Satan is!

  • Welcome Back Otter

    Rainbow got to Real man, an’ she’s gonna get to you next!

  • instant relief

    I had huge expectations back then. I owned four books about TPM and watched the trailer on a daily basis up to the release date. I was a huge ass fanboy. EDIT: I even saw TPM four times in theaters.

  • Welcome Back Otter

    Directed by Zach Snyder!

  • Indiana Jaws

    But could you not see, how shit it was gonna be though. I mean Liam Neeson was in it. That’s enough right there. I asked my friend how the movies were, and he told me Yoda was using his light saber, and I was like. Yeah um that sounds stupid, I’m not missing anything. So years later, out of curiosity I typed in ”Star Wars Reviews” on youtube… Maybe I needed Plinkett to get me through it. Because if it wasn’t for that I would still never have seen it.

  • Welcome Back Otter

    I was shocked the others didn’t know the word. ‘Tis common down our way (but then again, so is “rooting”).

  • instant relief

    Well, I was 17 when TPM was released. And my mind was set to loving the new stuff no matter what. It took me until the release of AotC to realize what a load of shit the prequels are.

  • Indiana Jaws

    Attack of the Clones, the title alone, sucked enough for me to know it aint Empire Strikes Back. But I was still surprized to be sure, just how SHIT the movies where when watching Plinkett. He pretty much said everything I was thinking, and then some.

  • Welcome Back Otter

    Would you say it’s TWO SEGMENTS?

  • Indiana Jaws

    In fact you’re right, in a fashion, excluding Porkins. The prequels names sucked just as much as Phasma. I was still in original movie thinking, as the prequels mean fuck all to me. They simply do not exist. Other than to mock.

  • Indiana Jaws

    She’s kinda hot, for a Tabuchi
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iwg4qbzsr3s

  • Indiana Jaws

    you mean it’s gonna suck just as much as all the other comic book movies

  • Indiana Jaws

    ”Movies I almost liked”

    If it wasn’t for James Franco, Rise of the Apes would’ve been a pretty good movie. The action scene on the bridge was rather well done.

  • instant relief
  • When I was a kid a neighborhood dog used to overturn our trashcans and spread garbage all over our property. We nicknamed him “trashy”. One time when my cousin was visiting we called him trashy in front of her and she said “that’s not right” and looked at his collar “Tarkin, his name is Tarkin”. My cousin sucks.

  • Palpatine

    They just can’t use a guy in makeup, can they?

  • Palpatine

    Who names their dog Tarkin?

  • Amontillado

    Noooooo!

  • My thoughts exactly. There are plenty of eager, out of work actors out there with hollow cheeks and they spend millions on a crap cgi puppet.

  • Amontillado

    Like that time when the Russian invaded Pearl Harbor, launched a little war, you may have heard of it, THE CUBAN MISSILE CRISIS! Jesus you people are dumb.

  • Amontillado

    Plenty O’Toole – then again most of the Bond women had reeeeally dumb names. Pussy Galore anyone?

  • Indiana Jaws

    true, the good ole days where the women were merely there to boink.

  • Jason Ross

    Yeah. As in, I don’t understand.

  • instant relief

    It’s the same with James Bond. Just cast a new guy once the other one gets to old and or dies.

  • Palpatine

    That’s what they did for Episode III.

  • tOmy`

    This is kinda pissing me off. Wasn’t this movie supposed to be more of a realistic, Black Hawk Down-esque homage to an important plot of the SW Universe from the perspective of soldiers? You know, that kind of shit that really does not require CGI pandering to the fanboy masses?

    In this scenario, I would be more than happy to see brand new actors recasted for the old roles (if the old characters are even necessary). I am really looking forward to this one (even more than to Force Goes For The Morning Jog), but come on. I thought this is gonna be the one just taking the established universe, technology and story to tell a war tale.

  • Indiana Jaws

    What would i know, im a communist.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Yes. This.

  • Amontillado

    It’s not like they’re people; right big boobed lady?

  • tOmy`

    You know they gonna shove in a lightsaber fight into this one as well, right? Cuz why the fuck not at this point…

  • Indiana Jaws

    its a bird, its a plane, noo its just another lame super american white man in CGI…

  • Jason Ross

    Ah. I thought your name was Indiana Jews for a moment.

  • Indiana Jaws

    dam straight Stripes.

  • Doctor John Smith

    It’s been done.
    wayne pygram mo-caped that mother fucker in RotS.

  • instant relief

    Don’t forget Black Panther, you racist! Alhough I love your racist tits, you bitch!

  • Palpatine

    Wouldn’t be a Star Wars movie without one.

  • Indiana Jaws

    ;p

  • Amontillado

    Ah John Candy, if only you hadn’t eaten one of the wrestlers … 🙁

  • Palpatine

    Yeah for like ten seconds.

  • instant relief

    They didn’t mocap him in RotS IIRC.

  • instant relief
  • Earth

    OHMYGAWD!!!

    I’m finally accepted. This is life’s peak.

  • Indiana Jaws

    yeah probably because he ”’resisted arrest””’ one night walking down the street minding his own business

  • instant relief

    Btw. Tarkin’s first name is Willhuff. http://jedipedia.wikia.com/wiki/Wilhuff_Tarkin

  • Doctor John Smith

    Yeah. It was make-up and Adobe Airbrush.TM. but stop ruining jokes!

  • Doctor John Smith

    Ice-T should really stop injecting Meth.

  • tOmy`

    It’s really funny when you think about it, there is so many popular Star Wars games that totally dodged lightsabers; the story, the Force or the technology was much more important aspect.

  • instant relief

    Stop obscuring the truth, you racist nazi communist!

  • Palpatine

    Like what?

  • Indiana Jaws

    the fanboys won’t be satisfied until the dead corpse of Star Wars has been raped until its asshole falls in on itself

  • instant relief

    But its asshole is still so nice and tight after millions of rapings. And it’s recently been bleached.

  • Doctor John Smith

    NEVER!

  • instant relief

    I thought you snorted meth. I learned everything I know about meth from Breaking Bad tho.

  • Doctor John Smith

    The Arsehole falls OUT!
    its called a Prolapsed Anus.

  • tOmy`

    I think the most obvious ones would Shadows of The Empire, Dark Forces I (even in Dark Forces II: Jedi Knight, the lightsaber came after establishing missions and was used only for the duels, because it was still an FPS). Then you had all the flight simulators (at least 5 of them) that, despite having a chance to at least show it in cutscenes, never went for it, that newer stormtrooper FPS, Force Commander also lacked Jedi units as far as I remember…

  • Indiana Jaws

    Thanks Doctor, TMI 😛

  • instant relief

    Some people like that.
    Correction: A lot of people like that.

  • Doctor John Smith

    You mean the show where they actually show people shooting meth and heroine?

    https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-IV7IiWE4il0/VVmoIJo4qjI/AAAAAAAAAwU/TC4CBCM5C60/w600-h476-no/Doozers-observed.jpg

  • Amontillado

    I really wanted to give Saw 4 a chance, but it wasn’t totury enough – I need like so much more dismemberment really it was a crap job

  • Indiana Jaws

    lol agreed

  • Indiana Jaws

    well they tried that with Tonto remember and look how well that turned out :s

  • Amontillado

    Oh that’s cocaine you’re thinking about. I learned everything I know about cocaine from Dr. Rockso: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vL2tz8vG30g&t=0m25s

  • instant relief

    Ja! I have no idea if they were doing it right. ;P

  • tOmy`

    Or that midget. They smeared so much computer stuff on his face he ended up looking like a robot.

  • Indiana Jaws

    i like it

  • Doctor John Smith

    No. all drugs should be injected into the eyeballs.

  • instant relief
  • instant relief

    Sounds legit!

  • Doctor John Smith

    #CommunistNaziJarJar!

  • instant relief

    Damn, I should’ve changed the uniform. I failed. 🙁

  • Skewed_View

    Nine hundred and sixty-sixth!

  • Dunno, but if I ever own a dog I’m callin’ him “trashy”.

  • instant relief
  • Jawsy in the Sky with Diamonds
  • Palpatine

    Good for you.

  • Now I Get It

    My favourite DVD reviewer (in print) is gone, specializing in classic (and otherwise) television, and little known, little regarded movie genres.

    1746 reviews, but DVDtalk can’t provide a permanent link to his work? Much “thanks” to all the dickless no-minds at Internet Brands Entertainment.

    Paul Mavis, R(etire).I.P.

  • Piehawker

    Have you found that the last few BOTWs have gotten a little, I don’t know, lazy? The guys lately seem to be replacing wit with crude humour. I’m certainly no prude, but the constant default to child abuse, gay rape and xenophobia just seems a little tired. I expect that from Adam Sandler… but hoped for a little more from RLM. Just curious wha others think?

  • Palpatine

    If you’re looking for PC humor, then RLM is the wrong place.

  • tOmy`

    To be honest, what is there to talk about? I am a pretty PC person outside of the internet, but the very last time I was watching a bad movie with a group of friends (50 Shades of Fail), I have to say that those where the ugliest 90 minutes in a long time. When something is dumb and it breaks you, you just go with it.

  • Jawsy in the Sky with Diamonds

    this

  • Jawsy in the Sky with Diamonds

    here’s some advice, blow it out your ass, no sorry, what I meant was… BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS

  • instant relief
  • tOmy`

    You are acting like this web kicked off by mass-murdering, cat-milking, women-raping psychopath reviewing mass-murdering, cat-milking, women-raping prequels.

    Oh, wait…

  • Bubs

    Nope, quite the opposite for me. When I watch something that has ultra dry or “””sophisticated””” humor, it makes me feel like an asshole. “Am I too much of a caveman to appreciate this or something?”

    Jokes like these are right up my alley. They’re the same kinds of jokes I would make with my family and friends. Also, I’m not sure if you’ve heard of Mr. Plinkett… but he rapes, tortures, and murders women and children. Soo……

  • Palpatine

    The only person on RLM who seems PC is Jack.

  • Jawsy in the Sky with Diamonds

    Sesame St. has their own chat room I’m sure bro, say hi to Bigbird for me will ya

  • Bubs

    Yeah but he has kids. So he probably doesn’t want them to see him on Youtube talking about milking a cat.

  • tOmy`

    I agree. Altough it is very hard for me to judge. Come to Czech Republic, we will teach you how to be PC while making jokes about Holocaust.

  • tOmy`

    No need to get cocky, mate.

    This episode was really bringing it way too far, even considering what kind of a webzone this is. I can honestly see many people who had no problem with previous episodes looking at this one with a bit of confusion, curiousness or cringe on their face.

  • Whoa whoa whoa…adam sandler?

    Let’s not say anything we can’t take back okay?

  • Bubs

    Oh my god I wish we could do that in America. Last time I compared something to Auschwitz I got some strange looks and zero laughs.

  • Palpatine

    The 9/11 joke in the Star Wars Holiday Special BotW seemed to really offend him.

  • tOmy`

    You see, I think there is a slight problem with the 9/11 joke; The number of people that died was rather big and the even is still rather recent – therefore, there is a lot of people that still have some kind of an emotional connection / knew someone there / don’t feel like joking about such tragedy. This is not my view (even though I ironically knew a couple that died there), but I can understand that if something is still “fresh”, it can be perceived as a topic that should be handled with care.

  • tOmy`

    Especially those sexy, sexy Indian kids.

  • Palpatine

    Yeah, I find 9/11 jokes to be in pretty poor taste, but I don’t get all worked up about them either.

  • Sully

    Calm down, Franco.

  • Sully

    What about Mac humo(u)r?

  • I agree that the quality is missing. I think that they have gotten comfortable with what they do and are not as active in making them funny with witty banther. Also WotW built in random whatever VHS thing goes is in it self a bad idea compared to BotW with the cherry picking more knowlageble way of deciding what to view. The latest WotW have been shlockfests.

  • tOmy`

    Absolutely. Everyone has their own limit for some jokes. I can see a very smart, sophisticated woman who loves black comedy but feels very bad about rape jokes, because she might have been a victim / knew someone / it is a personal topic for her. Same could be said about any dude that was emotionally abused or physically raped – yet he will still make jokes about Holocaust, as they do not hit that close to home.

    It is always better to know what kind of a humor you are getting into – you have every right to be offended, but getting work up about it is kinda stupid. Again, this is mostly a Czech way to see comedy, but I think it should be widely accepted as a safe approach – if you don’t wanna get offended (or, better yet, if you cannot stand being offended), than avoid places / situations / webzones that could offend you.

  • Percy Gryce

    Who am I kidding? Like those homoerotic Brokeback cowboys, I can’t quit RLM.

  • Palpatine

    I myself am not offended by 9/11 jokes, but if you’re someone who had a friend or family member who died, then it’s understandable.

  • instant relief

    So, what about the telescope dedication?

  • tOmy`

    I really dislike the Foo Fighters hype train, but holy shit, it is hard to argue against it sometimes. In the recent events, Foo Fighters have been told that (before they played their concert), there was a group of Westboro Baptist Church protesters rallying in the city. And Rick Rolling them was possibly the best thing to do:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BD-fWMYcHXk

  • tOmy`

    Yes. This.

  • Palpatine

    God, I can’t stand those guys. The WBC I mean.

  • There reallty should be a clip with just the laughter

  • instant relief

    I know, I was just tickling your fins. Mike’s laugh might just be more powerful thant Rich’s. Which is why he almost never uses it.

  • Palpatine

    Okay, Jaws’ now daily deletion of his account is really becoming annoying.

  • GOD HATES FOO FIGHTERS

    #WBCsign2016

  • tOmy`

    Even my Google Chrome spellchecker doesn’t agree with the word Westboro.

  • And you noticed it just now?

  • Doctor John Smith

    welcome to my world.

  • Palpatine

    Good, let the hate flow through Him.

  • tOmy`

    HA! MUSIC PUN!

    #EvilPlan2015

  • Mick Travis

    Uhh, on the last WotW he said, “I only had to suck 3 dicks” referring to the pressured, always-smiling girl in the Song & Dance video. I like Jack though, I think he gets a bad rap among some RLM fans.

  • tOmy`

    OH! IT WASN’T, RIGHT?

    #FUCK

  • Doctor John Smith

    no i dont…

  • Percy Gryce

    Hey, I can live with RDJ.

  • Palpatine

    He’s starting to do it once a day now!

  • tOmy`

    Dear Jaws, this is an intervention. GET FUCKED.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Nah. I think there are more extreme jokes in like…the first Plinkett SW prequel review. These jokes are a staple of RLM.

  • Are you a god?

  • It’s not the first time. I think he’s done it even more than once per day on a few occasions.

  • The silicone in his fake tits wears out and he explodes.
    http://i.imgur.com/3o9KW4k.gifv

  • Palpatine

    Is he trolling or something?

  • He blew the fusebox for the mics with Jays Cabbagepatch joke.

    #500db

  • tOmy`

    Oh yea, I was refering to HitB / WotW / BotW videos. I don’t think there was any other that was basically a 40 minutes long constant stream of wildly un-PC jokes and commentaries.

  • Doctor John Smith

    True story. A Friends cousin died in the 911 attacks.

  • Duh?

  • tOmy`

    You really like that .gif, dontcha?

  • Palpatine

    At least he isn’t crashing the site with his antics.

  • TUESDAY.

  • I’m proud of it.

  • Maybe internet security for sharklovers is a thing.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Not ‘a’ THE!

  • Palpatine

    What’s the gif of the ladies boobs exploding from?

  • I don’t get that joke…

  • Doctor John Smith

    BOTH!

  • Jaws’ webcam.

  • tOmy`

    Because it’s only Monday.

  • Palpatine

    No seriously, it looks familiar.

  • Wuat…?

  • Doctor John Smith

    ITS realy not.

  • I WANT ANSWERS! I WANT THE TRUTH!

  • tOmy`

    We all do. Hence: #Trump2016

  • dollar store cashier wife

    it’s like poetry. deleted profiles rhyme.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Its 2AM Tuesday Relax.

  • Like Icare

    Gotten?
    You seem to have the wrong idea of the quality and flavor of humor here.
    This is that same site which became popular with Star Wars reviews by a serial killer of prostitutes and fucker and cooker of cats.
    Hopefully in that order, though we may not be certain.

    RLM is also where Fuck-Bot 5000 originates from.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=miwOmyvBqF4#t=216

    Also, you may need adjusting the springs on your humor-o-meter if you are unable to tell RLM puns and gibes from Adam Sandler’s “jokes”.
    Adam Sandler also has a robot whose actions serve as a but of his jokes.
    Can you tell the subtle difference? L-O-L I CAN!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsFm7KfhGdI
    That’s because I get my springs adjustemated regrewlewaralaly.

    Anyways… if you’re expecting politically correct humor, particularly the kind that comes at the expense of sane reasoning (Hello everyone at Channel No. Awesome! When is the next purge due to certain things not being a joking matter and may trigger people with overabundance of ego issues?) – you are at the wroooohohohoooong place my pie hawking cohabitor of this fine planet of ours.

    I suggest you peruse this site a bit more to get reacquainted with such jokes as: 9/11, zoophilia, gay men, killing elderly people for money, killing elderly people for fun, poop jokes, fart jokes, Canadians etc. etc.

  • Percy Gryce

    Robots age 2.067 years for every character year?

  • I only found this. It looks like a parody of one of those shitty Discovery docs. BTW, the suggested videos are really NSFW, so NSFW. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0tlIUoiSwA

  • Trump is magic. Yesturday my cat had cancer but seeing him on TV healed my furry friend.

    #Trump2016Indeed

  • Doctor John Smith

    I only crashed this site once! its not habit forming.

  • tOmy`

    Lolican sounds like a Pokemon.

  • Percy Gryce

    I salute you, sir or madam.

    Pistols at dawn?

  • Palpatine

    How does one crash the site?

  • Like Icare

    It’s a custom on his planet I presume.

    It’s to show that our mussings and illusions of wisdom and meaning are but electrons zooming through the universe at the speed of light.

  • Doctor John Smith

    its easy all you do is…. Wait a minute?… Nice try Palpy.

  • tOmy`

    This made me horny. Sh… should it make me horny?

  • Woah, woah, woah. Plinkett recently said cat meat is better uncooked. Get your facts straight!

  • PALPATINE’S BEHIND IT ALL.

  • Palpatine

    If you try to hack the site, will you just get an animation of Rich Evans saying; “Ah ah ah, you didn’t say the magic word!”?

  • Doctor John Smith

    both.

  • Like Icare

    No.

    Mostly.

  • tbs1982@hotmail.com

    In clown make-up.

  • instant relief

    It’s a work of art.

  • Like Icare

    He should contact Dr. Shae Summers.
    She’s on Twitter. They seem to be sharing similar interests and she’s a trained professional.

    http://cache.rk.com/rk/bignaturals/faces/ivy.pick00.jpg
    NSFW if your WP can’t stand the sight of women dressed in one-piece swimsuits and little else.

  • Percy Gryce

    Is that movie going to be set before his promotion when he was just Moff Tarkin?

  • Bubs

    So here’s a question for the ladies. When a woman wears a bathing suit (bikini or one-piece), men can pretty much always see your labia in them. Do you know this and not care? Or do you just not know?

    #WhatMenThinkAbout

  • Like Icare

    It belongs in a museum!

    Though it could use a bit more shark.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I16_8l0yS-g

  • Doctor John Smith

    HeSheItShit always did. Basically Jawas makes new names till the Disqust account says no more. then HeSheItShit commits Disqusticide.

  • Like Icare
  • Doctor John Smith

    You do know almost all commercially available ‘Bathing Costumes’ have a padded ‘Modesty Panel’ over the vulva.

  • Bubs

    Of course. I’ve yet to see this really help at all. And also, some don’t.

  • Percy Gryce

    Yes, come as you are.

    Seriously, though, well done. You are my only rival, but I consider you a comrade: Little John to my Robin Hood, Robin to my Batman, Jonathan Strange to my Mr. Norrell.

  • Like Icare

    Sexy Indian children is what sets Temple of Doom apart from being just another action-adventure spectacle.

    Just ask Mother Theresa.
    She asked to be given some of the sexy dying children from that movie so that she can personally watch them die in her houses of death while she makes money from criminals and Ronald Reagan.

  • Doctor John Smith

    We need a woman to tell us how we just dont get it. Preferably with close up photos.

  • Michael Collins

    Maybe we should all delete our accounts?

  • Doctor John Smith

    ok. You first.

  • Michael Collins

    If I ever get banned for trolling, it’s gone forever..

  • Like Icare

    Mac humor does not exist cause that would imply thinking the same as other people and Apple Experience dictates that you must think different.

  • Bubs

    Well I was going to post visual AIDS aides, but I thought it might bring down the banhammer and this just isn’t worth dying for.

  • Like Icare

    He’s the father of Fuck-Bot 5000.

    You know… Like Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker?

  • Like Icare

    It’s cause he grew up on a farm. They didn’t have skyscrapers there.

    So he still finds it all a terrible waste of skyscrapers.

  • Doctor John Smith

    nice conditional clause.

  • Red Skeleton

    Well, I mean, I’m not a woman but I imagine a woman would say something like “Well, they’re like breasts, you can’t make them disappear just make sure nothing naughty is poking through.”

  • tbs1982@hotmail.com

    *bats eyes*

    More to come, hopefully. We go out shopping for more of this stuff when we get a chance. And I still have some I have yet to send in.

  • instant relief

    He’s like a deep artist, man.

  • instant relief

    Mike’s laugh is so rare. Science doesn’t know its full powers yet.

  • instant relief

    Maybe it is set in his civilian days when he was still called Wilhuff Tarkin: http://jedipedia.wikia.com/wiki/Wilhuff_Tarkin

  • instant relief

    Some men don’t care for conditions.

  • instant relief

    Better go to bed, Marty McFly!

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Heh. Right up your alley. Stuntman jokes.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    The Sensitive Joss Whedon’s of the internet are out in full force today because of something rather innocuous and harmless that America’s sweethart, Colin Trevorrow, said. All he said was that, in his opinion, there aren’t many (or any) female directors doing blockbuster movies because, yes, inequity in Hollywood, but also because women are interested in telling more relevant, personal stories, rather than superhero movies.

    First, the Star Wars fans react negatively to the announcement that he was set to direct Episode IX, and now this. No wonder he never smiles.

  • Palpatine

    He’s got a point.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I think, from now on, if a male celebrity is asked about his opinion about anything regarding women, the answer should be either: “I don’t know” or, “I can’t comment on that”. Anything else and it’ll become fuel for controversy.

  • Palpatine

    The SJW’s ask those questions on purpose you know.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    MacHumour’s syndrome.

  • Earth

    No worries, Mr Trevorrow. In 20 years, women will have become just as soulless and brain dead as their male counterparts (implying that they aren’t already). Kinda like how a lot of Manga art is drawn by Japanese women who grew up on the stuff (when it was originally drawn by men) the next generation will see plenty of women jumping at the chance to make big bucks producing crap.

  • mister man

    Jerry Sandusky

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Grand Muff Merkin? WhAaaAa–?!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I blame the fucking Wheel and its picking of horrible, unfunny videos.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Other than their souls?

  • Palpatine

    What about him?

  • Like Icare

    It can… but it should not.
    For the sake of everyone it should be pointed out as a joke that it is.
    It wasn’t a joking matter – but it was made into one.
    One that needs joking about. Desperately.

    Humor is a way for our brain to learn things cheaply and to waltz around paradoxes it runs into without us going crazy as we went stress through laughter and bend illogical into logical by calling it “funny”.

    Through humor we learn from other people’s mistakes not to ever put our dick in the light bulb socket.
    Or that gruesome things like unloading a truck full of dead babies with pitchforks is a highly bizarre and abnormal situation but that we are not the only ones who get bizarre ideas like that and that thinking about something does not mean the same as planning or wanting to do it.

    And we learn that often, people can’t get themselves to talk about things that they KNOW are wrong or which bother them – until a little kid with no inhibitions points out that the emperor has no clothes.

    The thing with 9/11 is, it WAS a tragic and a sensitive issue.
    Sure… it still is for some people, directly related to people killed or affected by 9/11 events.

    But the moment it started turning into a Spectacle of PatriotismTM… that’s where everyone’s warning lights should have started blinking.
    “Warning! Illogical reasoning increasing. Warning!”

    Because everyone ignored that warning, and instead accepted illogical as logical because “never forget” – things like Patriot Act, Homeland Security, terrorist-rainbow-chart and other happy things happened.
    That should have triggered klaxons in everyone’s mind… but it was too late.
    Everyone already learned to think without using logic or reason.
    I.e. USA!USA!USA! went a little bit more insane than usual.

    So, when USA started not one but two wars on account of 9/11… all those deaths and destruction of 9/11 became just a joke.
    A lesson in overreacting.
    But soon it went beyond that to became as trivial as a little child yelling “Fuck USA” in the scale of things.

    The clusterfuck it then turned into… hundreds of thousands civilians killed, an entire functional country wiped out and turned into a battleground, destabilization of the Middle East on an unprecedented level, fuckin ISIS becoming a thing…
    And that’s without all those things that happened back home with trillions of debt and waste of resources on wars, unemployment, xenophobia, and then those wars coming back into US streets through militarization of police tactics, equipment and personnel, NSA clusterfucks creating a situation where whistleblowers run to Vladimir Putin to hide…

    When all that happens… 9/11 is no longer funny.
    It has switched from hilarious to tragic and back so many times by now that it is passe.
    It has been degraded to a level of a knock-knock joke.
    A national tragedy knock-knock joke.

    So in honor of that…

    Knock-Knock!
    Who’s there?
    9/11.
    9/11 who?
    HOW COULD YOU FORGET!!!?

  • Like Icare

    “I can not confirm or deny that.”

    Or the old classic…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMRUHGnN29s

  • Like Icare

    Will we see him shopping for blue milk and filing his space taxes too?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hooked to A Turtle, a Jim Jarmusch film. When five assholes discover a VHS featuring an ancient Mesopotamian named Eloise Cole they soon become haunted by it. Soon their entire Milwaukee based studio is full of the undead and they must fight them off they props funded by Patreon before the god arrives to exact revenges.

  • Like Icare

    Are you a Commie? Is that your Goongan?

  • Like Icare

    That sounds a lot more like a Sam Raimi movie to me.

  • Noah R.

    Nooooooooooooooo!

  • Noah R.

    wot

  • Percy Gryce

    Good. I send them a package about every month, but pickings have been slim more recently. And now you’ve raised the bar even higher.

  • Palpatine

    I prefer Rainbow’s Revenge as the title. It’s more fitting in my opinion.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Then we’ll change it to Sam Raimi

  • Amontillado

    Music by John Williams

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Implying that “relavant,personal stories” aren’t just by the numbers indie crap.

    Jeff Who Lives At Home is no better then Transformers 4. Just because a women directed a movie doesn’t make it a piece of art.

  • Amontillado

    No, keep the Jim Jarmusch and call it, “Honking Mad,” soundtrack by Bob Dylan and Neil Young.

  • Amontillado

    Slab Hardcheese

  • tbs1982@hotmail.com

    Yeah, I go through periods where I can’t find much. Thrift stores, Goodwills, and flea markets are usually the best bet. Unfortunately, there are lots of religious tapes out there and those just aren’t worth making fun of.

    I send them a package once in a while when I have a good selection saved up. I’ve just been lucky enough for them to pick stuff I’ve sent and put them on the wheel.

  • Like Icare

    How about we get Michael Bay on the phone and make it an adaptation of this classic tale?

    https://accordingtohoyt.files.wordpress.com/2015/08/image21.jpg

  • Amontillado

    “I only like two things in this world: kitties and kicking ass. And I don’t see any kitties around.”
    -Bubbles

  • instant relief

    It will depict his life-long struggle to sign up for ObamaCare. Once that fails, he joins the Empire to get revenge!

  • Like Icare

    Ah! Much like Eichmann.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eichmann_in_Jerusalem#Overview
    Eichmann was a “joiner” his entire life, in that he constantly joined organizations in order to define himself, and had difficulties thinking for himself without doing so.
    As a youth, he belonged to the YMCA, the Wandervogel, and the Jungfrontkämpferverband.
    In 1933, he failed in his attempt to join the Schlaraffia (a men’s organization similar to Freemasonry), at which point a family friend (and future war criminal) Ernst Kaltenbrunner encouraged him to join the SS.
    At the end of World War II, Eichmann found himself depressed because “it then dawned on him that thenceforward he would have to live without being a member of something or other” (pp. 32–3).

  • instant relief

    Uhm, I’m too uneducated to come up with a witty retort.

  • Like Icare

    It’s Nazis. Anything will do. Really.

    Nobody ever got upset over someone roasting a couple of Nazis alive. They are fair game for literally EVERYTHING.
    As long as it is vile and inhumane.

    Getting some Nazis around for tea and biscuits… Noooot really a great idea.
    And don’t ever get them beer or they’ll multiply and try to take over.
    Kinda like Gremlins.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beer_Hall_Putsch

  • ooktar
  • instant relief

    Could use some butt plugs.

  • Yup. If you can replace Bond, you can replace Tarkin…no offense to the great Peter Cushing of course, but we hate creepy CGI puppets!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Did you google what is sex and got to Amazon links to anal beads?

  • Down Under Aussie (in Japan)

    I can confirm that rooting is Australian for fucking. Well done, Canadian guest host #1.

  • They are the go-to baddies since 1939 and still going strong! They have even recently been associated with dinosaurs and zombies, sometimes together!

  • Don’t know why, but your comment caused a spit-take at my monitor. I think “buttplugs” gets me every time, especially in plural. Buttplug is funny, buttplugS is comedy gold!

  • But ‘revenge’ is not in a grief clown’s nature, so it should be ‘return’. Also saves on ink, ‘member?

  • Marvin Falz

    So I just watched the roast of William Shatner https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNnXDmgdiDQ and my first impulse was “hey, let’s roast the guys of RLM”. Then I realized two things: 1) this webzone already is like a giant, constant roast – and exactly what the guys of RLM do in BotW, especially Mike – and 2) Patton Oswalt was there too. In the end it amounts to nothing, but I find it even more exciting, that Patton Oswalt plays a part in Space Cop, now that I know, that he roasted William Shatner.

  • So what happens when you go rooting around in your Esky with your mates?

  • SkaMP
  • Like Icare

    Brand recognition. It’s a thing.

  • Palpatine

    Rob Zombie should make a movie about Rainbow the Clown. The first half should show her messed early life, and the second half should show her going on a killing spree.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    “Nice try. Do I look like a woman? Go ask the beard.”

  • Marvin Falz

    Well, I know you’re all just joking around, but I need to say, that I like that Eloise Cole at least stayed as positive as possible as she was able to and that she wanted to help other people with their fucked up lives – I mean, in the humorous spirit of this webzone – to fuck up their lives.

  • Marvin Falz

    First half: her life gets fucked up
    Second half: she fucks up the lives of others

  • Marvin Falz

    Must be good for some laughs, when somebody says, that he or she was rooting for team so-and-so.

  • Palpatine

    Starring Rob Zombie’s wife as Rainbow.

  • instant relief

    I always support RLM by buying my anal beads via their Amazon.com-Partnership-Link.

  • Domo

    Rob Zombie’s wife would make a good clown.

  • Domo

    Furiously masturbating while supporting RLM through Amazon also brings them good luck.

  • instant relief
  • Sully
  • instant relief

    Well, they gotta be the luckiest guys in the world then.

  • mister man

    Looks like the dad/grandpa in the video

  • instant relief

    Yes! Shark! Fox! Tits! Cocaine! Good!

  • Like Icare

    http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB120613661681255899

    Perhaps the most intriguing performance was by actor Russell Crowe and his rock band in 2003 at Wrigley Field during a game between the Chicago Cubs and the Los Angeles Dodgers. Mr. Crowe gave special emphasis to the words “Root, root, root for the home team,” as “rooting” is Australian slang for an activity generally done somewhere other than a baseball field. Mr. Crowe’s rendition did not make it onto Mr. Wiles’s CD.
    http://i.imgur.com/RSBYhd6.jpg

  • Like Icare

    Does that mean that she can take a joke cause she married him?

  • Domo

    I could see her being a clown like in The Last Circus, where being a sad/torture clown is the norm. Rob Zombie would ask for her to make a balloon animal or tell a funny joke, and she’ll decide to use lobsters as nipple clamps on him, instead.

    It makes for a great marriage, really.

  • Marvin Falz

    Aah, The Last Circus, isn’t that the name of a movie Mike and Jay reviewed in one of the first HitBs? That surreal movie shown during a foreign film festival. The clown says something like if he hadn’t become a clown, he would have become a murderer.

  • Like Icare

    That’s the one.

  • Like Icare

    Rob Zombie would ask for her to make a balloon animal or tell a funny joke, and she’ll decide to use lobsters as nipple clamps on him, instead.

    Sounds like the plot for a Rob Zombie remake of Nutty Professor 2.
    Only instead of being subtitled The Klumps it would be Nutty Professor 2: The Clamps.
    And “nutty” could take on a whole new meaning too.

  • Marvin Falz

    Thanks. Now THAT clown is scary. He should be grief clown in a surreal looking therapeutic room and he should insist on that his clients take LSD before the session starts. Then the clown tells his stories and how he yearns for murdering those who scared his psyche for life.

  • Domo

    I’d be happy if there were banana stickers somewhere in the story, too. It’d be a reference, but it’d be a fun reference.

    Murdering banana stickers. Stay off the drugs, kids!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    the way I interpreted it was that, in general, women are not interested in explosions, dinosaurs, superheroes and CGI excess. A minority among women surely are, but to most women, if they can pick, they’d go for something like Pitch Perfect over a Batman movie. It doesn’t necessarily need to be an arthouse film.

    Same goes for video games. Do women play video games? Sure. Do most women play video games? Hmm, I don’t think so? What games are women more likely to play? A violent FPS, Madden, FIFA, World of Warcraft, Pokemon or a platformer?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    The role Ellen Burstyn was born to play!

  • Marvin Falz

    He uses banana stickers right at the end of the session, when his client is at the verge of completely breaking down. The sticker is a prop he uses to straighten the client up again and to promote an anti-drug attitude. I guess, that’s what a real psychopath would do.

  • instant relief

    Something like Pitch Perfect is just the female equivalent of a Transformers movie.

  • SHAKMAAAA

  • Hank_Henshaw

    That gif, without context, might be from a snuff tape.

  • instant relief

    Nicolas Cage probably already killed the original poster.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    We need a CGI Donald Pleasence.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    “Two powerful segments”

  • Palpatine

    We need to have all the other Zombie regulars as well.

  • Like Icare

    He was short and bald.
    Just imagine the money that would save on rendering over the years.

    WHAT A VALUE!!!

  • Marvin Falz

    Loaded with the power of all-encompassing, all-delusional hatred. It’s pure death energy captured on film. All involved in the movie died shortly after finishing the movie from some strange forms of madness.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Don’t forget the ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH
    In Memory of Donald Pleasence

  • Red Skeleton

    You know, I’m not entirely convinced the video wasn’t designed for cantonese-speaking Americans.

  • Red Skeleton

    Actually this video kind of makes me sad because Mike, Jay, Colin and the other guy were making fun of a picture of a terminally ill baby. I’m kinda glad Jack wasn’t here for this because when you have very young children stories about dying babies have a much different effect on you.

  • instant relief

    No, not for me.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • instant relief

    It’s missing the Clone Wars series, tho. How disappointing.

  • Earth

    Aca-damn right.

  • Marvin Falz

    You know what, Marvin? In a way, she is successful. She brings some fun and enjoyment to the people of this zone.

  • its called bleach

    jeff who lives at home was directed by dudes tho. dudes who drive hybrids

  • instant relief

    Marvin is right, Marvin.

  • Marvin Falz

    Speaking of Rainbows: https://youtu.be/P_5ENgepTzs (sorry, no Rainbows of Death)

  • Marvin Falz

    I wanted to say “the prequels never looked better”, but then I’ve seen that the prequels overlay the Star Wars movies. This prequels thing does indeed get worse all the time.

  • Marvin Falz

    lol, thanks man.

  • Palpatine

    It’s so dense, every single image has so many things going on.

  • Like Icare

    And it could be wordplay on the fact that all rainbows are circular… so they keep turning like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel …

    http://www.slate.com/content/dam/slate/blogs/bad_astronomy/2014/09/01/circular_rainbow.jpg.CROP.original-original.jpg

  • Like Icare

    Bubbles is the secretly genius one.

  • Like Icare

    It’s soul is still ‘densing.

  • bleurgh

    The woman who did Hurt Locker is pretty great. Also that chick who did Waynes World and the Downfall of Western Civilization series.

  • Percy Gryce

    Whaddaya mean “might be”?

  • bleurgh

    Then they’ll get blasted for being ‘ignorant’. Didn’t you know? Anyone who isn’t a hardcore feminist is evil!

  • bleurgh

    I liked the Foo Fighters before they were an viral marketing company.

  • tOmy`

    Man, I am watching this video again and I have to say: WotW faith restored.

  • Percy Gryce

    The mechanics of the WOTW are a variation on audience suggestions in improv comedy. It’s a great tool and the gang usually does great stuff with it.

    (Uh-mm, Mike & Jay, I haven’t gotten my check yet this month.)

  • RLMkeepitup

    i think Floyd said any coincidences are just that and they did more drugs than the people who made that video

  • Brack to the Future

    I feel like that funny guy in Airplane, only it’s “The Americans are getting laaaarger.”

    C’mon guys. Stop being so fat.

  • Brack to the Future

    Locke. Everyone get together and watch Locke tomorrow night at 8 and we’ll break Amazon. Their algorithms won’t know what to do with an on-screen one-actor movie where a BMW could win Best Supporting Mobile Office.

  • Brack to the Future

    You get paper cut plus remorse, go full-on Seppo and get a GQ.

  • Brack to the Future

    I can’t watch it at all. Canadians are polite, and smug. There should be a new word invented like polsmg or smolite. That word would cover half my human family.

  • Brack to the Future

    Blam Prowthrust

  • instant relief
  • Brack to the Future

    I’m not clickin’ that, and go fuck yourself.

    Can’t Mike and Jay hire a competent WordPress arsehole to help filter all this crap? How many more radioactive Chinese mugs silkscreened and imprinted with antimony do I have to store in me garage forever at the purchase price of $99 per case in order to subsidize the possible creation of more Plinketts? (Imagine that in the voice of Pol from Peaky Bliners.)

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Fuck you, Rick Berman.

  • Domo

    That meme is now being sold as T-shirts in our local Nordstrom clothing store, for both men and women, right alongside Cara Delevigne jerseys and doge shirts.

    The concept has officially jumped the T-Rex (Now mounted with lasers and cup holders. Take that how you like.)

  • instant relief

    Wow, I guess I must be living behind the moon then.

  • Brack to the Future

    Oh, this is somebody I can click? Thanks!

  • instant relief

    I’m not a spam account!

  • Brack to the Future

    You know it looks like just a link to me. I also tweet and wouldn’t want a blind link attached to my valuable tweetspace. So I don’t bloody click.

  • Brack to the Future

    That was very dissatisfying. Jame Gumb? Hello, my hot 1989 college movie date called and she wants her panties back. She was so scared by that movie she had to stay in my fraternity bed, deep in the hollows of a manly house . . .

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Cara Delevigne is a man right?

  • Amontillado

    SOLD!

  • Brack to the Future

    I notice changes around here. I like them. Now maybe we’ll get more Plinkett, less fat-not-Plinkett.

  • Amontillado

    BINGO! Boss Nass gets a pizza roll!

  • Amontillado

    Dan McSlabthrust

  • Amontillado

    Why didn’t you say so?

  • Brack to the Future

    Oh this is awesome I can finally go.

    Hey nerds! Want to talk cool at a cocktail party or some function on which your job relies?!

    Playlist. Locke, Slow West, The Hunt. Contemporary leading man extravaganza. Create your own ideal re-watch order.

  • Amontillado

    Bubbles was the unappreciated genius, sure Julian is down to earth, but Bubs got the memo; everytime.

  • Amontillado

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0X_wUflADA8; Bubbles, motherfuckin’ Bubbles.

  • Jesper Ohlsson

    Colin and Jay need to kiss.

  • instant relief

    Let me guess, this is not your first disqus account.

  • Sully

    Omitted wanted me to tell you something…

    http://esq.h-cdn.co/assets/cm/15/06/54d4266c44124_-_.gif

  • Sully

    Rob Zombie should go back to making music nobody listens to.

  • Palpatine

    Omitted, is that you?

  • mister man

    You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.

  • Ogrot

    Wait… Rob Zombie’s wife isn’t already a clown?

  • Doctor John Smith

    i have a GQ Patrol.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Sooooo. apparently you can call someone a cunt but not talk about labia and vulva’s.
    The Rules of this site get stranger every day.

  • Doctor John Smith

    interesting. could be.

  • ReviewTheReviewers

    You know what would be awesome?

  • Doctor John Smith

    Whats up with the MODs lately. Bubs and me had quite mild comments deleted a few hours ago.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Yes. Yes i do.

  • Doctor John Smith

    need or want? there is a difference.

  • Sully

    I dunno. I’ve barely been on today. I blame you though.

  • Doctor John Smith

    thats logical.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    But the alternate Jay and Mike can’t touch eachother.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Death?

  • Sully

    Fuckin’: The Musical

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It will never be as good as The Western Ore Musical

  • Palpatine

    Me and Bryce Dallas Howard getting together?

  • Sully

    Then you’re doing it wrong.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Wrong like pyrite. It’s not right with me.

  • Sully

    Exactly?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I love The Western Ore Musical.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Omitted wanted me to tell him this

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64zpxzeD97E

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Um, everything?

  • Palpatine

    You’re probably the only who does.

  • Jay Stein

    The comment section of RLM is a true shit-hole.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    They got an award for it. Someone else did.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hi, RLM Sub Reddit!

  • Palpatine

    A Razzie?

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Palpatine

    Don’t blame me.

  • bleurgh

    We might have a new contender for worst film of the year. They remade Hitman with a script written by the same writer who gave us the first terrible adaptation and it’s getting slaughtered by the critics. This movie even managed to alienate the bald audience. Getting a non-bald to shave for a part is like having a white actor wear
    blackface. As if there aren’t plenty of struggling bald actors out there
    who can’t get a break because of discrimination. Cast real balds
    Hollywood! I’m sick of non-bald actors taking bald parts away from
    genuine balds.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I saw Fant4stic and Fifty Shades of Grey. You are wrong and/or Wong if you’re a chinaman.

  • Niccageshair

    Nothing says Hitman like CGI car chases and helicopter crashes!!!!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    it’s perfect, because it’s just like the video game!

  • Noah R.

    But the shit smells good!

  • Niccageshair

    As long as he comes with a mao suit and a tree to stand next to, I’m fine with this.

  • Niccageshair

    If you are talking about the last one, then okay. But Absolution was a Hitman game in name only. It was a reskinned Splinter Cell game.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    No, just putting myself in the shoes of some clueless movie producer.

    I’ve never played any of the Hitman games.

  • Amontillado

    You confuse people when you’re not clear with what you’re saying.

  • Down Under Aussie (in Japan)

    “Didn’t realise you were such a big fan haw haw”

  • Down Under Aussie (in Japan)

    We drunkenly laugh about the innuendo for the millionth time.

  • Marvin Falz

    Yes, Floyd said so and I believe them since the music doesn’t echo the plot and doesn’t signify any of the characters. At all.

  • Rich Evans is too good for you people.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    What happened to ommie?

  • Snake Squeezer

    So I guess Stoklasa likes Star Trek… Until it comes to brand new Star Trek movies — YOU FUCK!!

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2621446/

  • Snake Squeezer

    Ommie went back to his home__ No, that’s a lie, and worse, a cliche. Ommie killed himself. The funeral was really gay. That is all.

  • *shit-fest

    We still have a little bit of class… I don’t know.

  • It was clear watching this episode of Wheel of the Worst that nobody wanted to do it, and frankly after about 5 minutes of it I didn’t want to watch it.

    It’s okay to tell those “upload new content!” guys that your heart just isn’t in it this week.

  • Now I Get It

    Confirmed for rastaquouère…

  • julierstratton

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  • Red Skeleton

    Boy in Taiwan trips, accidentally fists painter, causes 1.5 million dollars in damage.

    http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/aug/25/boy-trips-in-museum-and-punches-hole-through-million-dollar-painting

  • Red Skeleton

    Edit: Sorry, I meant to say “painting”. How embarrassing.

  • Domo

    I came across a review that said Hitman 47 meshed everything wrong with the Fast and Furious franchise and all the Resident Evil movies.

    So really, this movie is a fucking masterpiece.

  • Mick Travis

    I would still bet you a million that 50 SHADES OF RAPE is going to win the Razzie award for Worst Picture of the Year. Even though KIRK CAMERON’S SAVING CHRISTMAS got it last year, I would have given it to the even more offensive “christian” tripe GOD’S NOT DEAD.

  • Mick Travis

    I saw the 2007 version of HITMAN. To be honest, it may be the best comic book adaptation I’ve ever seen…but it still sucked!

  • Mick Travis

    Being in a bed between Bo Derek and Lynda Carter back in 1978?

  • Mick Travis

    Bigelow deserved her Oscar for THE HURT LOCKER but I lost respect for her when she did that pos propaganda known as ZERO DARK THIRTY. Penelope Spheeris is the other chick you mention who did well aside from the Chris Farley crap known as BLACK SHEEP.

    My favorite female directors are still Amy Heckerling (FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH, CLUELESS), Mary Harron (AMERICAN PSYCHO), and Jennifer Kent (THE BABADOOK). Looking forward to seeing what Patty Jenkins (MONSTER) does with WONDER WOMAN.

  • Mick Travis

    Funny he mentioned that because I’m about to pitch to a particular studio an entire screenplay devoted to women directors. I don’t see why they would turn it down considering it incorporates their own history.

  • Mick Travis

    Paul Mavis was awesome even if he is a card-carrying Jacqueline Susann/VALLEY OF THE DOLLS apologist.

  • Mick Travis

    …or The Book of Mormon by Trey Parker & Matt Stone. That will no doubt go down as the greatest musical of the 21st century. Hasa Diga Eebowai!!!

  • Mick Travis

    Well, it’s official: JURASSIC WORLD is the 3rd biggest box-office time when you don’t consider inflation. Everyone should respond to this with, “That’s right, Jay!”
    http://www.boxofficemojo.com/alltime/world/

  • Now I Get It

    Evidently his archive is still available on DVDtalk, by searching any title he reviewed. I got there via “Daniel Boone”.

  • Red Skeleton

    Banned for asking to see Andrew’s dick… or something.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    But I do want new content…

  • Red Skeleton

    Personally I’m sick of the cast “cheating” on the Wheel of the Worst. This is (at least) the second time they’ve not talked about an entry, even in passing, and (at least) the third time someone has “fixed” a selection. You hacks can’t even stick to your own rules!

  • Red Skeleton

    The Wheel should be like Jumanji and punish people for cheating at the game. Maybe turn Rich into some sort of hairy animal like a neckbea-…. OH!

  • Red Skeleton

    Inside The Wheel You Must Go,

    ‘Til Someone Lands on Shoji Tabuchi Show!

  • Red Skeleton

    “Nice try kid, but I think you just brought a gun… to a Pokemon fight.”

    http://www.dorkly.com/post/75887/two-arrested-for-bringing-guns-to-the-pokemon-world-championships

  • instant relief

    Don’t say their names out loud. The banhammer will hear you!

  • Like Icare

    That’s no kid.

    Eighteen-year-old Kevin Norton and 27-year-old James Stumbo, both of Iowa, were arrested and charged with Unlawful Possession of a Firearm, Unlawful Possession of Ammunition, and other firearm related charges.
    The suspects will be arraigned at Boston Municipal Court.

    I wonder if they’ll get the “Terrorist Special”. Or will they turn out to be not brown.
    Oh… They’re not brown. They’re more like Redneck.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3209504/Pokemon-plotters-Kevin-Norton-James-Stumbo-court-Boston-ordered-held-without-bail.html

    Their photos… Speak for themselves.

    The fun bit is that the guns belong and threats were made not by the “cannon in my pants” bearded older one but the nerdy awkward “Is this a smile? I think this is a smile.” younger one.

    http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/08/25/01/2B9C19CE00000578-3209504-image-a-1_1440461815002.jpg
    http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/08/25/01/2B9C147500000578-3209504-image-a-4_1440463012387.jpg
    http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/08/25/01/2B9C148200000578-3209504-image-a-8_1440463031238.jpg
    http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/08/25/01/2B9C147E00000578-3209504-image-m-7_1440463022887.jpg
    http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/08/25/01/2B9C148700000578-3209504-image-a-2_1440462067544.jpg

  • Like Icare

    They are all misinforming you.
    Cynthia Rothrock signed him up for college and he had to go away and study.

  • Like Icare

    That’s what they did the last time. Timmey Olyphant ain’t bald. Yet.

    Someone should get him, Josh Duhamel and Taylor Kitsch and have them play brothers in something.

  • Like Icare

    Then you could get married and she could change her name to Bryce Dallas Palpatine or BDP for short.

    Which would be hilarious in all the places where they don’t refer to their Gross Domestic Product as GDP but as BDP (Brutto Domestic Product).

  • Now I Get It

    …on the other hand…

  • Like Icare

    A bit of a Freudian… trip, wouldn’t you say, hmm?

    #thisPunsIntended

  • Percy Gryce

    I resemble that remark.

  • tOmy`

    “Everything wrong with Fast and Furious?”

    Does not compute. Vrooooooom.

  • tOmy`

    I saw the trailer in cinema before Mad Max and I thought it was a joke. I looked around the cinema and even people who seemed like they don’t have a clue who Hitman is looked a bit confused.

    Is… is this a real life? Did that just happen?

    It looks painfully terrible. Like… really, even Pixels look better.

  • tOmy`

    Olyphant is prepping for the Deadwood movie. Right? RIGHT?

    #Please!

  • tOmy`

    Well, at least they won’t even run straight outta money.

    Ba-dum-waka-waka-waka-ba-dum-ts,

  • Like Icare

    There are times I doubt the usefulness and necessity of my crippling phobia of insects.

    A wasp came through the window while I was eating honey this morning.
    I’ve immediately removed the honey from the room, closed the door and went back to chase the wasp out with a towel.
    Never saw it flying by. Just heard the buzz next to my ear.

    Now my knee and my foot are scrapped as I’ve left some skin on the rug ducking away and slamming into a desk with my shoulder. More squealing than screaming in fear while doing that.
    It’s a completely reflexive and involuntary thing.

    Which I should get rid off before I grow old and my bones become brittle and my heart weak.

  • instant relief

    Please don’t die.

  • Like Icare

    I’m working on it daily. The not dying thing. So far so good.

  • Like Icare

    Apparently he’ll be in “Snowden” with Cage, JGL, Quinto, Rhys Ifans, Melissa Leo, Eastwood Junior, Tom Wilkinson…
    Aaand that’s what’s known for now.

    Snowden sounds like it will have a strong cast if nothing else.
    Which considering Stone’s recent history might be the only thing worth watching in this movie.

  • Red Skeleton

    That “kid” is younger than Mutt was when Indy called him “kid”.

  • Lulu

    As someone whose mum is from Hong Kong, I find your racist jokes at the expense of Cantonese speakers disturbing.

    Now fucking review Rampage: Turkish Rambo already!!!

  • Red Skeleton

    BUT THEY REALLY TALK LIKE THAT!!! #thatmakesitok.

  • Red Skeleton

    I don’t think Fast and Furious does enough to show the dangers of actually driving recklessly fast on public roadways. Thank goodness Paul Walker was willing to take up the public service on his own time.

  • Red Skeleton

    I’m presently replaying Blood Money and Contracts. The games are amazing… frustrating if you’re trying to get perfect scores, but amazing none-the-less. That atmosphere of Contracts is so… nihilistic it’s amazing.

  • Red Skeleton

    Am I the only one who can’t look at “old” Walter Koenig without seeing magnificent bastard Psy-cop Bester?

  • Like Icare

    Part time!

  • tOmy`

    They did their best to show the dangers of recklessly trying to drag an airplane down by cables, while in cars; one of them died. SPOILERS!

    No, seriously, when was the last time you heard that a bunch of drunk frat boys tried to take down an airplane using cars? PSA to the max, bro.

  • tOmy`

    I don’t think anyone will ever beat Timothy Olyphant + Walton Goggins combo from Justified.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fE8I2vLE_0o

  • Like Icare

    Turkish Rambo has nothing on Turkish Star Wars (Dunyayı Kurtaran Adam).
    Even Turkish Spider Man vs Captain America and Santos (3 Dev Adam).

    All of these (and many more – like Turkish Star Trek and Turkish E.T.)should be on a BotW special episode.
    But Turkish Star Wars would win. It is simply… beyond.

    Or they could do a Cunet Arkin (of Turkish Star Wars fame) special. That man utilized trampolines to maximum effect.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYUpVu4aYNA
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qv-zLdqHMuQ

  • tOmy`

    Speaking of Justified, have you seen Justified? I heard it’s pretty fucking great.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqRfX1XXHHk

  • Like Icare

    Damn are you easily triggered.

  • tOmy`

    I like TV shows. This is a very good TV show. One of those that makes you believe that even the b-side shows entered the golden age and that even 6 years running time doesn’t have to get boring or predictable and still leave the air on the highest note imaginable.

    Yeehaaw.

  • The guy in the stunts video looks a lot like Bruce Campbell.

  • Palpatine

    A Turkish exploitation BotW would be awesome.

  • You mean ‘us’ people or ‘them’ people?

  • Rich isn’t a neckbeard though, he’s just fat, neckbeard means he should have hair in his jowl.

  • Red Skeleton

    yeah he does.

  • Red Skeleton

    He was, briefly. Long enough to earn the title.

  • Red Skeleton

    LOOK, Frodo! Olyphants!

  • Doctor John Smith

    That Australia country is really going hard on internet piracy.

    https://youtu.be/vyIwtambrZg

  • Brack to the Future

    It is a simple preservation instinct. Some humans are susceptible to shock, induced by something as “benign” as a sting.

    If you wish to end this fear, my suggestion would be to come to a farm and be stung as often as a cricket farts, without warning or provocation.

  • Brack to the Future

    I like Timmy. I’ll watch him in anything but Justified. The whole premise is like a once-dipped teabag, and his face shows it.

  • That’s right, Jay!

  • Like Icare

    It ain’t the stinging. It is not a rational thing at all.

    As a kid I nearly cracked my skull (there was a small cut and some blood) – running away from a fly.
    And don’t even get me started on roaches or grasshoppers.
    Moths give me the chills.

    But I can mostly tolerate spiders. Unless they are running towards me.
    No issues with ants either.

    I’m guessing it all plugs into that “Uncontrollable, quick, unseen DANGER, just outside one’s field of vision… BAM! GOTCHA!” part of the brain.
    Great if you are a tiny mammal in a field somewhere and you more sense than see a predator.
    Can lead to embarrassing situations and personal injury if you’re an adult male of the species on top of a food chain.

    I need to stock up more on Raid. The fast kill, low irritant kind. It’s in the blue can. It works the best. I’d need about six cans.

  • tOmy`

    Breaking news: Kim Kardashian surpasses Beyoncé for the title of the most popular person on the Instagram.

    Come on, Queen Bey, take it back!

  • Palpatine

    It probably has to do with her stepmother.

  • Like Icare
  • Red Skeleton
  • Like Icare

    THERE ARE FOUR KARDASHIANS!

    Are there? I have no idea how many of them are there.
    Sorta like with how many species of flies are there. I just know that there are some multiple of 1 Kardashian.

  • tOmy`

    I think they are 3. Because they used the tag KKK on Instagram. Like 3 Kardashians. Get it?

    They didn’t get it. Oh, the sweet irony.

  • Red Skeleton

    *going hard.

  • Palpatine

    I knew it! Kim Kardashian is really Empress Vulvina, ruler of the Clitorian Galactic Empire!

  • Palpatine

    Wow, that’s Deathlist video quality right there.

  • tOmy`

    It’s still haunting you, isn’t it?

  • Palpatine

    It’s seriously the worst movie I’ve ever seen in my life.

  • Now I Get It

    ~You show me Noel Coward in a cowboy outfit, and I’ll show you a gay caballero. – arch-nihilist Michael, The Boys in the Band

  • Red Skeleton

    And now some tabletop gaming humor.

    https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xta1/v/t1.0-9/11947622_962535733809927_7815370789754917184_n.png?oh=419123eee5d80c4f3adc665ea7bd0244&oe=56821415

    (I already yelled at them for apparently not knowing what a porta potty is)

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    After watching Scanners I finally understand the meaning of Cameron Vale’s name here at RLM. I’m so quick!

  • Red Skeleton

    That’s always a nice feeling when you’re reading something and suddenly you “get” a reference in someone’s username.

  • LameSame

    NERD!! HOW DARE YOU COME INTO OUR FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE FORUM with your PUSSY NERD BULLSHIT?! GTFO and bring that to your nerd friends at whatever film-enthusiast website you manchildren (menchildren?) metastasize!

    EDIT: Woops! Sorry everyone! Wrong Disqus. Shows what a two-face I am!

  • Red Skeleton

    I sense much bitterness in you. Sounds much deserved though.

  • tOmy`

    Well, the premise is really simple; But the way the creators / writers managed to bring so much out of a premise this simple is really why I admire this show. For a show to start like a case-of-the-week cop drama and turn itself into one of the greats, filled with underlying messages, interesting themes and more than superb writing is a thing you don’t see that often.

  • Red Skeleton

    “What I didn’t put in the report was that at the end he gave me a choice – between a life of comfort or more torture. All I had to do was to say that I could see five Kardashians when, in fact, there were only four… But I was going to. I would have told him anything. Anything at all! But more than that, I believed that I could see five Kardashians.”

    http://content.hollywire.com/sites/default/files/2012/08/08/kourtney-kardashian-baby-penelope.jpg

    http://www.quickmeme.com/img/d6/d66fd17f6fc6b690434eae691cc29a3000d2037b0a692886b67131233ef17286.jpg

  • tOmy`

    More leaked pictures of naked celebrities?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Hopefully I’ll be joining you soon!

  • Brack to the Future

    So maybe it needs a little time. I couldn’t get past the first two eps.

  • Brack to the Future

    For instance, you’re clearly a red skeleton. Nothing referenced, nothing gained!

  • Red Skeleton

    ehhhh?

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • dollar store cashier wife

    They should make a movie based off Contracts. Give it to someone like Fincher and you got yourself a movie Hollywood!

  • Kenlin Bros

    r-u-t-t-i-n-g?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I only recently learned that bit was stolen from the 1956 movie of “1984”. Still works for the purposes of a tee-vee show but, yeah, stolen.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VonWLM_58A8

  • Cream-A-Thon

    The Wheel is often up for interpretation but I rather like this one:
    “It’s my belief that history is a wheel. ‘Inconstancy is my very essence,’ says the wheel. Rise up on my spokes if you like but don’t complain when you’re cast back down into the depths. Good time pass away, but then so do the bad. Mutability is our tragedy, but it’s also our hope. The worst of time, like the best, are always passing away.”
    (yes, I got that from 24 Hour Party People, not the original Boethius text, but, learning is learning, right?)

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Only more homo erotic.

  • tOmy`

    Good, good, good.

  • SOLD!

  • Snake Squeezer

    Tum Waish

  • Richard Persson

    I just paused this video to declare publicly my love for Rich Evans.

  • tOmy`

    Absolutely. It is somewhere in the middle of the S1 where the primary premise is ditched and it is substituted with much more complex storyline that echoes to the very last minute of S6. It really picks up on the pace after while and explodes in the last episode of S1, that is setting a stage for all the fun stuff to come. You just have to battle through the first 4 to 5 episodes (eventhough they are rather charming standalone cop drama episodes with small twists and turns in them).

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Confirmed for gay.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Insert pulp fiction joke here:________.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    KK is gross.

  • Snake Squeezer

    “Rich is gay life. Rich is gay love.” – Tum Waish.

  • Richard Persson

    Gay for Rich Evans? You damn right!

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Direct quotation?

  • Snake Squeezer

    thus the quotation marks

  • Snake Squeezer

    You just paused to say you love him? You just paused to say you care? Do you mean it from the bottom of your heart?

  • Palpatine

    Like literally in public?

  • Richard Persson

    Like no three words could ever do.

  • Red Skeleton

    Oh no! Lori has to give birth in a world without modern medicine and a Cesarean section is the only option! And as everyone knows, Cesarean sections without modern medicine are basically a death sentence. I mean, nobody EVER survived having a Cesarean section until modern medicine was a thing, right? DEFINITELY not anybody born 2000 years ago.

    Walking Dead. Sponsored by Obstetrician Association of America.

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Is that a direct quotation?

  • tOmy`

    Man, the spin-off already premiered and you are still battling with the prison shit?

  • tOmy`

    thus the quotation marks

  • Brack to the Future

    Dillahunt. Dillahunt.

  • Red Skeleton

    I’m watching the prison shit right now for the first time. Sorry for not being part of the Walking Dead hive mind.

  • tOmy`

    There is honestly no reason to be. It gets kinda better in the next season tho, so at least there is that.

  • Red Skeleton

    Season 2 was shit. Season 3 is better in some ways but I know a few things that drag it down.

  • Brack to the Future

    I wouldn’t want Cesar operating on my wife, either. He’s the guy who mans the weedwacker, nothing more.

  • Brack to the Future

    Figuratively in public, literally in pubic.

  • Brack to the Future

    Catch up

  • Red Skeleton

    Also, I don’t know if you’re going to get this reference, but I’m convinced Daryl and Merle are references to mountain men [Larry], Daryl and Daryl from Newhart.

  • tOmy`

    I think I know the reason that drag this season down. It’s basically whenever one of the characters starts talking and / or crying.

  • Red Skeleton

    I admit I laughed at the….. conclusion to Lori’s birth episode.

  • tOmy`

    For what is worth, there is a lot of comedy in this show.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    do your self a favor and stop watching. this shit does not improve. it’s been a downfall ever since the pilot episode.

  • Red Skeleton

    I hate that guy too. He’s always calling me up, on about “The Yay leaving San Fierro” or some shit.

  • Brack to the Future

    Oh man, I hate tv. Nothing worse has ever happened to me than tv.

  • Red Skeleton

    Bahhhh…. It’s ok, actually, because I’m REALLY into the comic book.

  • tOmy`

    Really? I think that there was a couple of really neat episodes in the after-prison season and the show really hit its peak with the latest one. It ain’t some superb writing, but at least it got interesting and tiny bit more logical.

  • tOmy`

    Perfect.

  • Brack to the Future

    Hey Sir Eel Mckmeachon and Sir Piebald Stuart made out with Conan O’brien, it can’t be all bad. All those islands intermingling their spit. Sounds kinda like a water park.

  • Red Skeleton

    I read in advance… that it looks like Rick is mocking Carl when he says “Awww, nooo”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bq69yPPoxzk

    It’s fucking true. XD

  • dollar store cashier wife

    i stopped watching after season 3. but I’ve seen scenes of s4 and s5 and I don’t get any improvement. it’s aimless,souless, and laughably executed from a techinal standpoint in a world where your belowed HBO exists and sets the standards(we are in the golden age of TV but TWD will not be a part of that legacy)

  • Red Skeleton

    Yeah, I gotta concur about the laughably technical part. This might as well be called “Digital Bloodsplatter: The series.”

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Brack to the Future

    Dude, you haven’t seen King Dinosaur. It has psychotic behavior, woman-slapping, horrible animal cruelty and a wonderful crowning shot of the a-bomb making everything right in the world!

    I watched it with Joel and the bots this morning.

  • Brack to the Future

    Is that a sneeze or are you Canadian. I said “I get you’ve got a reference in your name.” I just did it sarcastically.

  • tOmy`

    I guess minor style-wise spoilers:

    They actually try to do some more of a character development past the prison season and it is a mixed bag of really neat talking episodes and really bad talking episodes. Some good stuff happens, you learn more about some of the characters (because quite frankly, calling them characters to this point is not necessary). But then someone in the boardroom finally said: Hey, isn’t this show about like… zombies? You know, explosions and shit? Shouldn’t our characters be at least a bit psychopatic, not-crying survivors?

    Not sure if you can call it an improvement, but at the very least it is trying to fix some mistakes and approach the show from a tiny bit different perspective. S5 opener was fucking great.

  • Brack to the Future

    Nonmedy. Like when in Brad Pitt’s Zombie Movie ™ his idiot wife calls him and he’s too much of an idiot to have silenced his bat-phone. So unfunny.

  • tOmy`

    That digital blood ALWAYS takes me away from that fucking show. It is as bad as Rick saying stuff. You know. About the Group.

  • Brack to the Future

    Now I’m starting to doubt *Justified*.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    shots fired

  • Red Skeleton

    Yeah, you answered my question.

  • tOmy`

    Well, there is almost no way this show could have gotten any worse. It is apparent that these folks know how to make action scenes, it’s just everything else that is shady and needs desperate improvement. I stopped watching some where towards the end of the first half of S5, but it really felt like this show is getting on its feet… or maybe its knees.

  • tOmy`

    Awwwww, the farm stuff. Good memories.

    Also: Sound effects sponsored by Unreal Tournament +10

  • Brack to the Future

    If I may be lugubrious here (insert opening synth from any Plinkett review)
    you RLM guys have changed my life. You made me wiki-search and subsequently alter the article for the discovery of the first toupeé, you taught me the meaning of the word vagoogoo, and you’ve made me tolerate a really annoying laugh for more than three years while we squeeze Mike for drops of genius like he’s an exotic toad.

    Whenever I wear a headset, Mrs Brack comes over and says “are you watching those screech guys?” But I digress.

    Keep up the work, RLM. We’re counting on you.

  • Brack to the Future

    Yeah, I get the nuance. That’s actually what pissed me off about Spartacus. I understand the “over-the-top” of ‘Alarbus’ limbs are lopp’d,’ but come on.

  • Palpatine

    Has anyone here read the 108 page rebuttal to the Episode 1 review?

  • Brack to the Future

    Did you skim it? I had my Glass read it to me this morning during my soak and it’s full of problems. Bad grammar too. Jeez get a dictionary.

  • Brack to the Future

    Your problem, E.B., is that you built your career on being an imbecile, and as such your nadir shall arrive in wet fashion. ~ Al Swearengen

  • Red Skeleton

    So… does anyone else here have serious problems answering the question “What sort of music do you like?” I really loathe having to answer that question. Truth be told I don’t much like talking about music so even if I could form either an accurate answer or a safe answer I wouldn’t much want to give it.

  • Red Skeleton

    Here’s a reddit discussion talking about the nature and mechanics of that line of questioning.

    https://www.reddit.com/r/Music/comments/2e0ppp/how_do_you_answer_people_when_they_ask_you_what/

  • Palpatine

    Is it so bad it’s good, or just painfully bad like Deathlist?

  • Red Skeleton

    I know it’s one of those things people ask to get a “read” on people they meet but it just seems like you either have to be knowledgeable about all sorts of music in order to form an acceptable answer.

  • Palpatine

    I do.

  • tOmy`

    We are just now talking about it with my friend. Everyone hates it.

  • Red Skeleton

    Do you find people asking you about movies an easier question to answer?

  • Brack to the Future

    Depends on how often you’re asked it.

    My mate, the music critic, he hears it all the time. Are you a music critic?

    If not, you say “it’s not a sort really, I just like Britney Spears.” Because only a cunt who listens to Britney Spears would ask such a question in the first place.

  • Red Skeleton

    You seem to be trolling a bit, or possible just intoxicated, but I’ll admit that’s a pretty decent answer.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    everyone usually answers: “I’ll listen to anything that sounds good!” even if ain’t true at all that makes you look openminded.

  • Brack to the Future

    I don’t understand. I’m on your side.

  • Red Skeleton

    No, I just mean in general.

  • Red Skeleton

    Well as the link down there demonstrates apparently it’s really frustrating to people who ask that question.

  • TapewormBike

    “Music I listened to between the ages of 16 – 22. Now, suck me off, please”

  • Brack to the Future

    Very well. Although I remember no specific negative contacts with you I’ll refrain from further commentary on your threads. Apologies.

  • Red Skeleton

    Naw, not against me. I just mean in general you say a lot of stuff that comes out of left field and I’m never sure if you’re just in your own world or trolling or whatever.

  • Brack to the Future

    I see. So suffocating a Navi or having a bunch of bones in a popcorn bucket isn’t left-field? Isn’t that the tone, timbre and tenor of this goddamned site?

  • TapewormBike

    No, because I like myriad of genres and out of genre films. I can tell you my favourite ever, but the reasons are personal. It’s just dumb to ask generally. Ask “Do you like Big Lebowski” and forget it if they don’t.

  • TapewormBike

    You forgot rhytm and jokes about old people dying.

  • Red Skeleton

    Tone and timbre, yes, but it helps to be topical too. Fuck me that was a lot of ts.

  • Red Skeleton

    Yes. This. That’s generally a better question to answer/ask. Ask specific questions and get broader based on their answer.

  • Brack to the Future

    I like old people. Whenever they’d die on ChiPs I’d cry, and my human father would ask me why. I’d say “because they’ve lived longer and had more to lose.”

    Ah, good times. Now that I’m older, it’s funny.

  • Palpatine

    Not in the slightest.

  • Red Skeleton

    Uh huh…..

  • tOmy`

    Not exactly, no, but when it comes to music it is much harder for me to explain how much I love music and how much I care about music… and when I try to explain that I usually take music very seriously, self-studying it and researching it, sometimes I do come off as a bit of a douche. So yea, I guess you could say that I prefer the movies question afteral.

  • Brack to the Future

    I generally disregard them as idiots and turn away. Subtle-like.

  • TapewormBike

    “A bit”. Well, you still have your optimism.

  • Brack to the Future

    Darryl from Newhart is played by William Sanderson who plays E.B. Farnum on Deadwood. I was channeling Swearengen there.

    wouldn’t ‘spect you to understand it

  • Red Skeleton

    OK! I checked swearengen for a link but found none, didnt bother to check e.b.

  • TapewormBike

    Deadwood, dude

    Ah, OK

  • Mr_Wint_Trans_Strong_Bow

    Thanks, butt-e.

  • Brack to the Future

    Your problem, E.B., is that you built
    your career on being an imbecile
    and as such your nadir
    shall arrive
    in wet fashion. ~ Al Swearengen

    No iambs, that’s Al’s torrent-style

    * #deadwoodmovie

  • Like Icare

    Is it a faux pas to just give people your phone/mp3 player and let them browse your list if they really wanna know?

    Or is it just too… “I was just making conversation” awkward?

  • Red Skeleton

    Wouldn’t work for me because most of the stuff I listen to (novelty songs, movie and game soundtracks) is not indicative of the range of music I appreciate.

    Edit: That and I don’t own an MP3 player……….. ya, srsly…

  • Red Skeleton

    Who you calling dead wood, man? It happens to all guys from time to time!!

  • Like Icare

    Which episode was the Atlanta CDC episode?
    That was the end of the show. It ended there. Done. Shit got explained. Everything is pointless. Done.

    Where the fuck is everyone going? Hey! You people? Where are you going? Why? Where do you think you can go? Disneyland?

    Oh… Wait… NOW they want to insert the narrative from the comic? After they explained that there is no point in going anywhere, that they may as well hole up in any secure building?

    I stopped watching soon after.

    Don’t even remember where cause I’ve covered that while reading the comic. Where all that driving down the road still made sense.
    But then the comic started getting… repetitive.

    All is fine and dandy and exciting until the writers write themselves in the corner… and then everyone dies… well… almost everyone.

    Survivors fuck off down the road, meet people… and then the corner comes around the corner and it’s the same old shit again.
    Fuck that. I have enough disappointments in real life.

    Don’t feel the need to invest into making emotional connections with already dead imaginary characters on top of that.

  • Sully
  • Like Icare

    Pulp Fiction is a work of art by a visionary director. Get it?

  • Like Icare

    Does “Deathlist” sell for 666.66 moneys on eBay for a single VHS tape?

    Apparently there are people humans idiots willing to dish out that kind of money on a VHS tape of a movie that makes “Things” look like “Pixels”.
    I don’t even know what that means.

    Also, some… out there… like VHS tapes cause they can smell them.

  • Palpatine

    Is that what Hell is like?

  • Sully

    It has to be.

  • instant relief

    Denise Richards is the devil then? I just converted to satanism.

  • Like Icare

    It’s a homage.

    Also, it’s a whole very different take on things.
    1984 torturers don’t make you feel sorry for them.

    They don’t tell stories about their childhood that made them the way they are and why both the audience and Picard should really be on their side and help them out.
    They don’t want to be torturers. Come on. Just give in and let them help you. Don’t be like that. It is really you who are forcing them to do that to you. Don’t be an ass. Stop torturing them.

  • Like Icare

    Even better I’d say.

    Though you can always put some Mozart among other things.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbrXZvu8bUo

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No, Hell has grief clowns.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    This has to be like something out of Check It Out With Dr. Steve Brule.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Yes. I have.

  • Palpatine

    How bad is it?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Very very bad. It is fanboism at it’s worst.

  • Red Skeleton

    Leck mich im Arsch… Uh, oh… that’s a cognate, isn’t it?

  • Palpatine

    I’m too afraid to ask what that is.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    It’s the best cable access show since The Osteoporosis Dance.

  • Like Icare

    You know what’s scary?

    I can totally see how the information in that video could be useful to some people.
    And I don’t mean in a “have you tried masturbating to this yet” kinda way.

    Even today, with cameras everywhere, most people simply have no idea how to present themselves for the camera or even that they should try to present themselves.
    Which is not really an issue if all they ever do on camera is hang out with their buddies.

    Trouble is, a LOT of those people will end up in various promotional materials.
    Maybe their company will make a catalog and someone will try to “humanize” it with photos of employees.
    Maybe they will be interviewed for some TV show.
    Maybe they’ll go on a game show of some kind.

    On top of that… even more “pro” photographers and camera-persons don’t know JACK SHIT about handling their camera, angles, composition or they simply don’t give a flying fuck how you come out.

    E.g. 1: Back in my “working in a company that organizes fairs and conferences” days, one of the common things we’d do is charge people money for their ad in our publications.
    This one company sent an add featuring photos of various products and services they offer… Surrounding a photo of “The Boss”.
    A 40-something overweight mustachioed guy behind a desk – in a wife-beater. “You sure you want THIS as your ad?” Yup. Oooooukay…

    E.g. 2: Our “The Boss” got the bright idea to produce a catalog/folder highlighting our creativity and human resources.

    Photographer was hired based on his prominence in the local community – which he achieved by placing many ads around town and on the radio, offering free rolls of film (Remember those?) for every roll of film developed and printed in his shop.

    We were all photographed positioned in front of a pink wall (The main color scheme for the folder/catalog was yellow and black.), standing, slumped shoulders, photographer didn’t use a tripod (so people shorter than him came out even shorter, and with bigger heads, while taller people came out vaguely gigantic) or any kind of special light other than room lighting and his flash.

    Everyone wore different clothes, some women wore too much make up, one older lady couldn’t get her hair to look like anything but an explosion…
    It was a fuckin disaster.

  • Like Icare

    It means exactly what you think it means. Culture.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    #CardassianLivesMatter

  • So, Joker walks into a bar… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oP8s4GK1BE

  • I think this gave me cancer. Pronounced exactly like in the link below. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4RhTBQqYwE

  • Wizard Phoenix

    One of the tapes I found and will send to RLM features a religious nut ball saying the year 2000 will be the end of time. He’s full of shit and probably looked like an idiot after the year 2000.

  • Palpatine

    People have been saying the world is going to end every year for the past 2000 years now, so it makes no difference. Hell, apparently an asteroid is supposedly hitting Earth next month, so we’ll see how it plays out this year.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Hold on. Now this nut ball believes that crop circles are from God and Jesus.

  • Palpatine

    Does Jesus show up while flying on the cross and smile at the camera?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    This man named “Jack” is crazy. He’s one of those hilariously stupid people who connects the Bible to current events and looks like an idiot for doing so. Also he has a lisp.

  • Palpatine

    So the extended edition of The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies is getting an R rating apparently.

  • Palpatine

    That doesn’t answer my question. Is there a smiling, flying crucified Jesus at any point?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He just says that they are Signs. But he says this all with his lisp.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Crazy Jack must’ve think this is a sign of the end of times.

  • Palpatine

    Crazy Jack is in a padded cell right now.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Crazy Jack might be a Televangeist stealing money off of old people like Linda and Betty.

  • Palpatine

    Or maybe he’s Donald Trump.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He looks like him actually. Only Crazy Jack claims he spoke to God.

  • Palpatine

    You really don’t want to talk about anything else, do you? We went from the Hobbit to this.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Crazy Jack is interesting and it is somewhat on topic.

  • Palpatine

    I suppose since he has something to do with WotW.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Crazy Jack wears the the same suit but always has horrible ties. Not to mention he has two chins.

  • Palpatine

    When did he make this tape?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Crazy Jack didn’t make the tape actually. It’s a tape recording of some compilation on a religious TV channel made probably before the year 2000. He has his minion who has 80’s hair read off viewer questions. People believed Crazy Jack.

  • Palpatine

    What’s his real name?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    His named popped on screen. I looked him up and his named is Jack van Impe. He’s taken money from people in the name of the lord so he can be richer.

  • jebus

    This whole episode is in poor taste. It comes across as xenophobic,
    homophobic and towards the end…oh man, the director should´ve stopped
    Evans at some point. I never want to watch this again. Really sad.

  • RLMkeepitup

    weren’t the hobbit films already too extended

  • RLMkeepitup

    now I’m really looking forward to this vhs

  • Like Icare

    “The Man from U.N.C.L.E.” – it’s fun. Go see it.

    Whoever decided to keep it in the ’60s instead of modernizing it – good job.
    Not only does it make everything more sensible as all the (retro) tech used is plausible and real and does not include people looking at screens and typing furiously on keyboards – it is a treasure trove of visual gags and punchlines WITHOUT the need to explicitly point out how “old tech is old”.
    Which would turn the movie into an Austin Powers.

    Instead, the audience still gets its “L-O-L look at the size of that thing!” retro gags without the need to deflate actiony bits into comedy.
    And while action keeps the element of danger and excitement, comedy remains comical instead of farcical.
    There are also obvious jokes but they are (mostly) built-in. They (tend to) have a purpose in the plot BESIDES being jokes.

    Like when top CIA and KGB agents are arguing which belt by which fashion designer goes with which dress.
    It’s a “L-O-L big burly spy guys arguing about girly dresses” joke – but it also shows off their preparedness for the mission and spy skills as they are arguing what a female agent pretending to be an East European wife of a Russian architect would ACTUALLY wear when visiting the world outside the Iron Curtain for the first time.
    It’s spycraft AND a joke AND they explain their plan of action throughout that scene.
    A lot of other “penis measuring” jokes between Solo and Illya are like that too.
    It’s a visual gag AND it serves a purpose in the story.
    Remember seeing that in a movie? A visual gag that is NOT a mere reference?

    On the negative side… The plot is thin transparent and predictable and you’ve seen it already. Like… a thousand times over.
    But… the story is just too damn fun for the plot’s deficiencies to matter.

    There’s also that thing where the music background has a tendency to take the front seat a tad too much.

    Another negative thing is that the movie goes into powerpoint presentation mode a few times for the purposes of exposition or in one case for the purpose of raising the tension.
    One character literally pulls out a photo album and starts talking about photos in it.
    But… it is NOT grating cause again – it serves a purpose as it sets up the “all is lost” part of the story. VERY CHEAPLY.
    As in for very little money.

    It is a retro (A period piece?) spy action movie made for $75 million.
    So… at times the scene can get… empty to the point of looking kinda cheap. At the same time… that $75 million is spent VERY effectively.
    You know… like back when movies were made by people who managed with what they had instead of just “fixing” problems by throwing money at them?

    On the other hand… Remember Casino Royale?
    Where half a movie is people sitting at a poker table and all the action scenes up to that point are just filler (like the entire movie and its two sequels have been proven to be by the upcoming movie in the series)?
    That one was $150 million of 2006, George “Mission Accomplished” Bush, dollars.
    Remember Pixels? $88 million.
    Spy? $65 million.

    There are Vespas in this movie too. Just like in Spy.
    Except someone riding a Vespa while being too fat is not the punchline of a joke.

    Oh, and Henry Cavill is fuckin excellent. Charming as fuck and oozing chemistry off the screen.

  • RLMkeepitup

    what’s your favorite color is my least favorite question. I also had a girl as if I had any allergies.. as if she was screening for bad genes.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    One last thing I will say about Crazy Jack and his craziness is that at the end of the video a 1-800 number pops up, then static, then what pops up is some movie with Margot Kidder that someone taped over.

  • RLMkeepitup

    the bond films seemed to have modernized okay. the tone got more serious though after Bronson left.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Does Crazy Jack make an appearance? Whatever I really like Henry Cavill as an actor. Despite the fact he’s fucking Superman he’s quite underrated.

  • Palpatine

    Where do you find this shit?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    On the side of the street.

  • Like Icare

    Even Cardassian torturers are people too.

  • Palpatine

    Really?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I found it a box with a bunch of other VHS tapes.

  • Palpatine

    What else was in the box?

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Excel Promo Tape which had a guy who looked and sounded like Hank Hill.

  • Palpatine

    Prime WotW fodder right there.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The other videos feature Crazy Jack talking about more crap and asking for money.

  • Palpatine

    Nope.

  • instant relief

    The Evans cannot be stopped.

  • instant relief

    How much longer do you want them to be? Oh, wait. That was sarcasm, right?

  • Like Icare

    Bonds were a constant and a continuous series.
    They never had to modernize as they were always taking place in the present.
    While everyone just ignored the fact that actors kept changing and that Bond is the same character all that time.

    This one is an attempt to (re)create a lighthearted spy movie which is NOT a comedy, by reusing material from a black and white cold war TV show.
    They COULD have made it modern but then nearly every scene would be monitors, monitors, monitors, screens, screens, screens, ?pads, ?phones and a shitload of tech that today equal not advanced or scifi but BORING.

    Instead of cracking a safe they would be hacking the Gibson. With all the amazing skills of a typist.

    And thus they would have to swim around in a centrifuge cause all disks are kept under water… wait what?

  • Like Icare

    Bonds were a constant and a continuous series.
    They never had to modernize as they were always taking place in the present.
    While everyone just ignored the fact that actors kept changing and that Bond is the same character all that time.

    This one is an attempt to (re)create a lighthearted spy movie which is NOT a comedy, by reusing material from a black and white cold war TV show.
    They COULD have made it modern but then nearly every scene would be monitors, monitors, monitors, screens, screens, screens, ?pads, ?phones and a shitload of tech that today equal not advanced or scifi but BORING.

    Instead of cracking a safe they would be hacking the Gibson. With all the amazing skills of a typist.

    And thus they would have to swim around in a centrifuge cause all disks are kept under water… wait what?

  • Sully

    Rated R? For what? Dwarf-on-Elf fucking?

  • Cream-A-Thon

    They were my favorite baddies of the reboot – they could be bastards yet also possess regret, doubt, and exceptional tailoring skills.

  • RLMkeepitup

    war certainly made for a good backdrop for Fleming novels. maybe now we could have NSA spies.. just doesn’t have the same ring to it

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    That’s when you say, “I’m allergic to stupid questions,” light your cigarette and stare pensively into the distance. 30% of the time, it works every time.

  • Doctor John Smith

    i always just say. “I like good music.”
    i like all sorts of stuff from Beethoven to Cannibal Corpse.

  • Doctor John Smith

    it was just the phrasing was ambiguous, i had to read it twice to make sure you wernt calling Red a cunt.

  • abstrusejon

    Oh no! Call the PC police, someone was offended!

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    I chose to see Mission Impossible instead, but I didn’t really care for it. There weren’t enough surprises.

  • Doctor John Smith

    I have done really awful things on the Internet…. but even i wouldnt post a video of me saying “Chinngy cohong chink chong. I’m speaking ASIAN!”

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    You’re just afraid that your accent will be too thick and everyone will know you can’t really speak Asian. Come on, admit it.

  • Like Icare

    OUR spies can be heroes while the public believes that the other guys are ALL BAD.

    When you can no longer sell that… Spies become the worst scum.
    Peeping Toms, violent psychos who pull people’s nails when they are not busy trying to topple governments and paranoid lunatics with license to murder.

    Rated PG-13 for intense violent sequences throughout, some sexuality, language and smoking.

  • Doctor John Smith

    i can bearly speka da Anlgish.

  • You have nice legs Lisa, ahahahah.

  • Palpatine

    Are you drunk, watching The Room, or both?

  • Sojourning Whyman

    This from someone who chose a name mocking Christianity.

  • I got a cold and could not sleep and I rummaged the harddrive for a mopie and found one.

  • Palpatine

    Which one?

  • Palpatine

    Tommy seems like a real jerk.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Rated R for raping as Peter Jackson raped a belowed children’s book into wanna-be LOTR and we all had to suffer through it.

  • tjp77

    SJWs need to ruin fucking everything.

  • Joe Syxpac
  • WrongWithYourFace

    The… “direc-thor”? What’s that?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    “Cat massage even helps some cats tolerate a bath. But I don’t think we’ll be showing that!” Why? What happens in the bath?

  • Domo

    Ummm, do you really want to know?

  • Red Skeleton

    My WIFE IS NAMED LISA! I’LL KILL YOU YOU FAT FUCK FROG! I’LL KILL YOU AND ALL YOUR FAT FUCK FROG OFFSPRING!!!!

  • Doctor John Smith

    I never miss an opportunity to learn more about touching pussys.

  • Doctor John Smith

    He is a TOAD you red skinned racist.

  • Doctor John Smith

    YES FINALLY! now we get to see the hairy CGI Dwarf bewbs.

  • Doctor John Smith

    Peter Jackson didnt rape my childhood…. but he held me down while George Lucas did.
    George: “Squeal like a Wamp Rat boy! SQUEAL!”

  • Doctor John Smith

    *Distended.

  • Lets just say two pussies take a bath.

  • If you’re going to use racial slurs, use them properly.

  • He has no skin, you dumb fat skinny fuck.

  • But he knows Jorge Lucas. Allegedly.

  • Maybe he meant a doc-thor?

  • Doctor John Smith

    thats using your lion brain.

  • Doctor John Smith

    that reminds me of a joke.
    Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
    A: Lickalotapuss.

  • tOmy`

    I have to agree. All those close-ups of Canadians were really distracting. I mean come on, this is an American show.

  • tOmy`

    Out of all people, you did see it? Even I dodged this bullet.

  • Joe Syxpac

    I donno.

    She also said you should sing “Amazing Grace” to your dog, but promptly said “But I won’t be doing that”.

    I think it’s some sort of code.

    Maybe if you massage your cat in the bath while singing “Amazing Grace” to your dog it summons a Bagoul?

  • tOmy`

    HEY NOW!

    Oooooooh.

  • tOmy`

    How much swag is in it? I need this movie to have some swag.

  • *puffing smoke from cigar*
    https://youtu.be/K4eEJPZy9sc?t=1m2s

  • tOmy`

    Oh and I really enjoyed Casino Royale. It was Quantum I didn’t particularly care about.

  • I don’t know why the timecode thing don’t work Skip to 1:02

  • WrongWithYourFace

    “____ your dog, you make a friend for a day. But massage your dog and you’ve made a friend for life.

  • tOmy`

    Well, we all made out with the guy once or twice, so…

  • Like Icare

    Those movies need two things.

    One, a video of someone reading the book while all three movies play in the background, consecutively.
    Two, text of the book made into a subtitle file which runs with those movies at a comfortable reading speed.

    The entire book takes about 9-9.5 hours of easy reading.
    If the extend edition clocks in at over 180 minutes – it would take longer to watch the movies than to read the book.
    Unabridged audio book is 11.5 hours long.
    That’s reading the book out loud, slowly TO SOMEONE ELSE and reading every letter of text, cover to cover.

  • It was college, everyone experimented in college! Shame I didn’t.

  • Like Icare

    If you’re into retro stuff – ALL OF IT.

  • tOmy`

    Weeeeeeeeeee, it’s Music Thread, this time without the words ‘DJ’ and ‘dubstep’ in it! Because autumn is slowly approaching here are 2 pretty neat albums to spike your nostalgic / fall / depressive playlists:

    The Mountain Goats – The Sunset Tree: There should be a saying that ‘teenage angst is the dish best served cold’ – and this album is the honest to God example of why it is so. Rather than painting their lips black and going fully screamo at the age of 20, The Mountain Goats devoted their discography to mystical creatures, fantasy lands and philosophy, before finally dropping this adult / folk / rock bomb dealing with abusive stepfathers, methamphetamine use in the household, escapism and horrific memories. And the fact that their frontman who lived this kinda life waited this many years to finally write songs about it is the key selling point here: There is no screaming, just eloquent metaphors. There is no over the top rage, just grim tension. There are no accusation, just a nostalgic vibe full of remorse, fear and, most importantly, resolution. There is no bright future wishing, there is just a point when his stepfather finally died. It is incredibly reserved album for what it is, filled with chilling, haunting, melancholic and sometimes funny lrics and it serves any and every purpose it is supposed to. 10/10

    Cloud Cult – Unplug (Live): Cloud Cult is a gang of people who really dig nature (some of their albums were described as “environmentalist rock”) and who are able to go fully experimental without ever breaking their reserved, lo-fi, folkish sound. They have an impressive number of albums behind them, but what makes Unplug stand out is… well, it is unplugged. Stripped down of all the effects and ditching their spectacular extravaganza behind, the acoustic harmonies (incorporating butfucketload of instruments) finally shine in their most intimate, low-key and gorgeous light ever. It is a perfect late-night listening, as it slowly paints the picture of just how amazing their lyrics and songwriting is. It’s charming humanistic approach will make you smile, while their frontman voice will provide somewhat of a rare experience. The only small issue is that without their effects and experiments, Cloud Cult do lose some of their pivotal charm, but that could be taken as a silly complaint when this album works as it should. 9/10

  • tOmy`

    I was a bit skeptical towards this movie but now I do feel like it deserves the chance. When I finally see it, I shall get back to you. Thanks for the writeup!

  • tOmy`

    “The mighty Quentin Tarantino this week admitted to a few regrets over his 2007 flop Grindhouse with Robert Rodriguez – describing the project as a “mistake” and audiences as “uninterested” in it.”