Best of the Worst: Wheel of the Worst #3

November 22, 2013738 Comments

It’s that time again! Time to spin the Wheel of the Worst! Will the group land on the Shoji Tabuchi show? Or how about Tree Stand Safety. Only fate knows the answer but one thing is for certain: whatever it lands on will make everyone miserable.

Filed in: Best of the WorstGeneral Updates

  • Marvin Falz

    Thanks!

  • Percy Gryce

    Finally, a new Wheel of the Worst! All right, let’s get this over with.

  • Well now! That’s how you make a baby.

  • Percy Gryce

    Let’s hear it for Traveling Alone in America–the next Shoji Tabuchi Show!

  • jnorris441

    Ugh, now I have to drop what I’m doing and watch this immediately FUCK

  • Giovanni Falcone

    Now I realized I saw “Where Did I Come From” as a child. Thanks for reminding me RLM!

  • Jared M.

    Tree Stand Safety = You should never meet your idols.

  • elitist-movie-snob

    Did something happen to Rich’s left index finger? It looks like it’s gone.

  • PanzerKitty

    holy shit did Rich Evans lose a finger?

  • Jon Fite

    That, and high off of painkillers.

  • diehounderdoggen

    He looks a little blitzed, Vicodin maybe?

  • Max Wylde

    What happened to Rich’s hand?

  • ColinJ

    ‘Where Did I Come From’ was a classic book when I was a kid.

  • He cut it off by accident at the end of the last best of the Worst.

  • Sir Breckenridge

    This video had too many screen-cap moments for its own good.

  • elitist-movie-snob

    I forgot about that. Their dedication to continuity is impressive.

  • Black Tom Jones

    Oh my, it jogs my memory too. Just as the guys said, it should be aimed at a 6-7th year old, and that’s just when I saw this. I totally forgot about it….we all referred to it as “The Rubber Duckie Movie.” Flipping amazing, and thanks for enduring it, guys.

  • ColinJ

    The ‘Instant Adoring Boyfriend’ video would be 1000% better if it was Tom Hiddleston.

  • Percy Gryce

    Obviously Jay’s the continuity supervisor.

  • MPJZ

    *Stops porn to watch Wheel of the Worst*

  • Alexandria Sanders

    Are we really not saying anything about Rich’s finger?

  • James Camaroon

    Hate to break it to you, Jessi… but David the Gnome went there, too.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aC8xFPIenCc

  • Tiffany Harding

    Did Rich lose a finger?!

  • Lovely Henrietta

    I think that “Where did I come from?” was very popular in Europe in the 80s. I watched it in class and we couldn’t take our eyes from the screen (and a few years later we watched “What’s happening to me?”, which was about going through puberty). I guess I was 7 or 8, and it didn’t traumatize me or anything 😛 I will admit that I went to a pretty liberal (but posh) school, and the 80s in my country were a bit wild, but I still think that it’s a perfectly good film about sex education for kids. I was surprised to see the guys so blaffed!

  • ColinJ

    In Australia ‘What’s Happening to Me’ was all over the place. It was highly coveted among us giggling little cretins.

  • RyanTheBold

    A deer carcass is not a toy, ma’am.

  • diehounderdoggen

    I was waiting for the reveal at the end where Mike stumbles out of the extinguisher’d studio only to reveal the skyline of Milwaukee erupting into flames! Rich Evans’ desperate cries of “Fire! Fire! Oh God!” lose intensity and eventually die out completely as the sense of irony overwhelms him. A single tear rolls down Jay’s cheek as Jessi saunters up to Rich, can of Old Milwaukee in hand, and says to him: “French fries again?”

  • Notm Sam

    I liked this episode, but there’s something that’s kinda off about it at the same time.

    In past BOTW episodes, you often just skipped talking about the film if it was boring and nothing happened in it/you were interested more in conversation. I feel like the first video you watched (not going to spoil it) was an example of something where you could’ve said: ‘It was really disappointing and boring’ whilst showing the bits you guys made fun of.

  • Now THAT’S how you know you’ve got true fans, RLM.

  • Max Wylde

    So I take it you guys weren’t able to save Rich’s finger?

  • So Mike and Jay made Rich cut off a finger to save a member of his family. Á la Heavy Rain. That’s messed up.

  • Might have overdone it with the fire extinguisher.

  • castlemonster

    All of these videos were produced by grey aliens. It’s the most amazing coincidence!

  • ColinJ

    Rich is secretly a member of the Yakuza, and he had to lop off a finger to atone for some vital mission he screwed up.

  • Rick Rickerson

    Rich – WHATS WRONG WITH YOUR HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND?????!!

  • Rick Rickerson

    Also, mmmmm, Sunset Wheat

  • Percy Gryce

    Mike had his own lovely explosion.

  • ashwilliams

    I’m sorry that i’m the one that have to say it but Jessi cleaveage is way too distracting, and i hope that the ending wasn’t staged, just pure Rich Evans in Fire Safety Mode

  • Quicksilver6

    His boss? The Showbiz Pizza Bear.

  • Percy Gryce
  • Rasputin Varez

    Where Did I Come From? Is a really, really well known book in Australia. Do you Americans really not tell kids about this stuff? Your country has some really weird hang ups about sex.

  • Percy Gryce

    It was stylistically designed to be that way.

  • Percy Gryce

    “I was surprised to see the guys so blaffed!”

    Never been to Wisconsin, eh?

  • Percy Gryce

    What’s wrong with your avatar?

  • Lovely Henrietta

    Well, I only remember one thing about it: a boy getting a boner in the swimming pool, and the narrator explaining how it was perfectly normal. As a girl, the thought of getting an erection in public seemed completely horrifying, and it made me so glad that nothing like that could happen to me! After watching the film, they gave us girls tampons, and condoms to the boys, and of course we swapped some and immediately opened them to see what they looked like.

  • L0lwut

    We just tell them semen + egg = baby and leave out all the bizarre crap.

  • Better safe than sorry.

  • jediyoshi

    The fallacy of your post aside, I think it’s a much scarier thought to think that the crux of Australia’s sex ed hinges on that book. They make it deadly obvious but to break it down even further, the demographic the video is aimed at and the content it’s trying to convey don’t align, it may as well be flashing random colours for an hour.

  • killermicrobe

    Its never gonna beat Titanic.

  • Lovely Henrietta

    Nope, but I’ve had a few American boyfriends!

    Everything makes sense now. (sad trombone)

  • You’ve inspired me, Mr. Gryce:
    http://i.minus.com/ib1z4wRULTH9l.gif

  • Otto Torrens

    I hope Rich didn’t lose a finger ;3;

  • James Camaroon

    Command+Shift+3 on Mac, or Print Screen key (PrtSc) on PC and then paste into Paint or other image editor. Be the change you want to see in the world, Sir Breckenridge.

  • Liz Frazier

    Rich handled that fire extinguisher pretty well for a four-fingered freak!

  • Memoman

    Oh yiizzz! I still haven’t seen HitB because I actually want to see Thor in the theater, and now you lay this upon thy webzone! A very much indeed welcomed fix of RLM!

  • Liz Frazier

    That’s because it’s so dense, there’s so much happening on the screen.

  • goro

    Where Did I Come From is actually in the Australian school curriculum, or at least it was when I was 13.

  • Showbiz Pizza Bear

    Disclaimer: None of Rich Evans’ remaining fingers were harmed in the making of this video.

  • Rasputin Varez

    what exactly is bizarre about basic sex?

  • Filip Zelinka

    SPOILER ALERT! FFS

  • I think I’ve seen part of “Where did I come from?” Is that the one where they focus on the different types of boobs there can be by showing a bunch of cheerleaders who then goto the swimming pool and give the guy an erection?
    *100% serious, not a joke post*

  • tweakerbelle

    Awesome. Thanks. That was great.

  • Angelo Elauria

    “A spurt of quite thick sticky stuff, cums from the end of the man’s penis” Okay so, I was drinking water when I heard this. Let’s just say, I had my mind BLOWN, because I have always thought that spit-takes were a myth, and only happened in movies. Never in my ENTIRE LIFE, did I think I would EVER genuinely do one. I’m having an existential crisis here.

  • Marvin Choi

    “…that’s a lot of cum.”

  • Joseph Powell

    This is one of the best movie review shows ever. Thank you.

  • Shaun Higgins

    Can’t wait to see you guys review the sequel to ‘Where did I come from?’ called ‘What’s Happening to Me?’

  • DrClown

    this may be the best of this series yet

  • sui-sui

    i will wait patiently for my baby shoji tabuchi

  • splimis

    Rich Evans seems to have a problem with consonants at the end of words.

  • Luke Altomare

    I remember digging through a mountain of old books with a friend of mine and finding “Where Did I Come From?” We looked at the back photo of the authors, and we reached the same conclusion as these guys, that they’re a bunch of hippies who decided to get together and make a sex ed book. It’s so bizarre! The people in the book look like ogres!

  • ashwilliams

    And you can’t undo it. But you can diminish the effects of it

  • SomeoneElseTookDude

    Awww yeah the summer RLM drought is over

  • Lee Miller
  • Daniel Nguyen-Phuoc

    Oh no Mike is dead!

  • Percy Gryce

    I’m on record as noting that Mike is the Walrus.

  • Percy Gryce

    It’s like that old saying: those who can, do; those who can’t, inspire.

  • Percy Gryce

    Tell us more.

  • Garbledina

    About the bright orange vest that hunters wear: Deer are colorblind, but even with colorblindness, they can notice sharp, direct changes in the hue of an object, and if you’re wearing camoflague, they’re less likely to notice that change when most of your color matches up with your background.

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    Or as Darren McGavin said in the Christmas Story, “Not a fingah!”

    Maybe Rollie Fingers should be a guest. Any idea if Bill Finger is available? Hey, maybe Plinkett should do a review of “Fingers.” That movie where Harvey Keitel is a penis, er, pianist.

  • Percy Gryce

    And forget Katniss, Jessi was on fire this episode.

  • BenjaminSantiago

    Guys! Rich’s finger is okay, watch the end of the Halloween episode!

  • Sofia FitzGerald

    My parents actually got me the original “Where Did I Com From?” book as a “present” when I was about five years old. I remember it made me feel very uncomfortable and kind of disgusted, though a friend of mine thought it was the funniest thing. Every time she came over, she would read it and laugh…

  • Yezzir!

    Uhh…did I just see that?

  • Strelnikov

    Goo-Goo Gajoob.

  • Ludwig Scroggins IV

    Seeing Mike choke and almost die at the end was one of the greatest moments in my pathetic, meaningless life.

  • Ludwig Scroggins IV

    She was laying the law down.

    “Let me finish!”

    Loved it.

  • RobMcCune
  • proghead777

    To a child that is barely out of the toddler stage? EVERYTHING.

  • Ludwig Scroggins IV

    Killing things mercilessly never looked like so much fun! Except in the Hunger Games.

  • Strelnikov

    “Where Did I Come From?” sounds like something somebody would make in that late-1980s baby boom for the 1990 uber-prepared parent who wants to have a sex-ed tape ready and waiting when Billy or Sally asks The Question. Rich doesn’t seem to know that a lot of Yuppies were hippies before Reagan came from his Mothership.

  • Sam Kruse

    Still is 🙂
    I remember watching it a few years ago, so when it came up I got really excited

  • Andrew Herlihy

    Deer are colorblind, yo

  • Jordan

    Perfect viewing after five shots of whiskey.

  • harumph

    Oh god, that sneeze made me laugh so hard that I started sneezing uncontrollably. …It’s a curse. If I laugh longer than 20 seconds, I sneeze for the next 20 minutes.

  • Chris Korhonen

    I just want to know what animal is walking around with Rich’s finger in its anus.

  • john ledingham

    Anyone else think Tree Stand Safety was about doing acrobatic tree stands? I thought the cover was a dude holding himself up on a branch.

  • Ciddy

    It was! My mother showed it to me in the 80s to explain the miracle of life to little me. It has been seared in my brain ever since.
    Edit: I see it came out in 1990; that sounds about right.

  • harumph

    I think that the book came out in the early ’70s.

  • Omar Del Real

    ok so let me cum clean. I saw Where did I come from when I was 6. And I saw it multiple times. I loved it it made me feel some tinkling in my belly and peanuts. I saw it multiple times to understand the meaning of it and I’m not joking I saw that shit like ten times trying to figure the meaning of the moving ducks and a thing that they didn’t talk was the song and that it was narrated by Howie Mandel. I love the ending song. For some weird reason I still have a boner in the Sex scene

  • raymondj

    Rich has a Watchmen pin on. Yes.

  • Mathieu Benoit

    what happened to Rich’s finger?

  • Percy Gryce

    But what does this mean for Shoji Tabuchi? That’s still going to be great, right?

  • Preposterous Whitey

    Or Tom Selleck

  • Dr.Pepper

    Jessie should make a video called Be Cool About Fire Crotch Safety. Thats right I said it.

  • Kenshiroh

    Hunters wear those orange vests so they don’t get shot by other hunters. I read a story a few days ago about a bunch of firefighters that went out hunting. One of them fatally shot another because he “thought it was a deer”.

  • Bob Rosenberg

    Guys, it’s been a long time since I’ve thought about the 1997 Fall Donut Event tragedy. So much senseless carnage. Please, tell the world what happened there.

  • LilDeuceDeuce

    I’m disappointed because I heard ‘Tree Stand Safety’ multiple times on Best of the Worst without paying attention to the cover, and I thought it was going to be about setting up a Christmas tree in a tree stand.

  • Reid Osborn

    It’s gonna be great.

  • JamesDrox

    lol that ending

  • TomKemp

    Did Rich really lose a ringer? How was this not discussed??

  • amplifact

    You kidding? It’s weirder for them not to know what the hell these body parts are for. I had no trouble grasping the concept of sex at that age.

  • I’m going to guess that they wouldn’t edit and present for ad revenue the incident that led to Mike’s death via CO2 poisoning. But I am still somewhat concerned for his safety.

  • omgnoway

    I fucking saw Where Did I Come From? when I was a kid over 20 years ago!!! That’s so weird! I remember the bathtub scene with the lady and her erect nipples and that fucking duck! How the hell do I remember that and not things from last year!! :O So hilarious guys, love the part where the tree stand guys take out a VHS of their own lol

  • DanceK

    I read the book. Many times. When my mum read it she would skip over the sexual intercourse part.

  • Peter Gorman

    I’m so sad about Tree Stand Safety. I had such high hopes. I thought it would be about some kind of acrobatic tree climber’s adventures in not falling to his death

  • RoCr

    The vest is also mandated in many states.

  • El_Runko

    Jessi shoots the best disapproving glare I’ve seen in a while.

  • moonwatcher

    Great job gang thanks for taking another one for the team

  • Yakov

    yes, exactly right. or some fringe safety video about recreational tree climbing and warning children not to do it.

  • Robby

    I think it was a nod to the previous episode of Best of the Worst, when he “accidentally” cuts off his finger when cutting a VHS tape in half.

  • Yakov

    I felt the same way about the boyfriend video: it’s meant to be played casually and fill your lonely hovel with imaginary companionship. any humor is due to incompetence—it doesn’t seem clever enough to be intentionally farcical.

  • Greg Taylor

    it was cool, and the T.S.S. was a disappointment to me too. but i can’t wait the nex episode. (i hope you are OK, and Rich did not killed everyone)

  • Anonymous Coward

    You forgot to remove the ‘t’

  • Joe Bloggs

    Virtual Boyfriend – Mystery Solved:
    http://www.foxnews.com/story/2003/04/25/perfect-man-exists-mdash-on-video/

    When popped into the VCR or DVD player, the recording, made by British-based company Lagoon Games, serves as a companion for the lonely-hearted.

    “It’s company if you are single,” said Lagoon Creative Manager Jonathan Lim. “When you come home on your own, this way there is someone else in the house with you. Someone says all these nice things to you, and it’s going to make you feel better.”

  • Lizzie

    I was shown ‘Where Did I Come From’ in highschool 4 years ago…

  • Flex

    Wife suggests “Instant Adoring Boyfriend” is actually a training video :/

  • Wasperheimer

    So TSS was a bust, but I’m sure that Shoji Tabuchi will deliver.

  • Jason Ross

    What is Jay drinking? Cider? Strongbow?

  • Joseph Thomas Hunter

    I noticed that too. WTF?

  • Jason Ross

    IMDB says Howie Mandel narrated Where Did I Come From? (1985). Apparently he did the big-budget remake based on Peter Mayle’s award-winning book.

  • Jason Ross

    Rich should have gone Irreversible on that burning videotape.

  • TapewormBike

    Don’t get your hopes up, some people in here had seen it and said it’s boring mostly.

  • TapewormBike

    Ho hee ho hee hoo. She has red hair and no penis (a.k.a “a woman). That’s what makes it funny.

  • Jeremy Clark

    The bandage around Rich’s hand is a very nice touch. The fact that you kept continuity with the last episode is fantastic.

    And I’m glad Treestand Safety was a bust after all, because I had found the case a while back at a junk store with the wrong tape inside and was really bummed out.

  • Jess

    Man Mike nearly died at the end of that one.

  • wow so much subtext in this episode. there’s a number of lines and shots that clearly show jessi and mike’s relationship is breaking down. both are fatter and seem depressed, especially jessi who seems somewhat sexually frustrated as well after watching the boyfriend/sex ed videos. it’ll be interesting to see this one develop in coming eps.

  • iamyoursaviour .

    Tree Stand Safety not being about doing Handstand variants on trees makes me very unhappy.

    Incredible Instant Amazing Boyfriend sounds like shitty ASMR Roleplay without the ASMR parts, and roughly as sad.

  • TapewormBike

    (tumbleweeds filled with crickets roll by)

  • Michal Richter

    First of all, it is a index finger, and second, do you think think Nicolaj Coster-Waldau (Jamie Lannister) in Game of Thrones lost his hand, becauce on the screen he doesnt have it?

  • Michal Richter

    Everybody knows that, they acknowledge it in the video. The problem is that the deer sees you then. That it negates camouflage. Thats the point (even if its questionable).

  • Taft you FUCK

    Tree Stand Safety = The SECOND biggest case of cinematic blue-balls in film history.

  • El_Runko

    “Let me finish!”

    Oh I’d let Jessi finish alright. ALL OVER ME

  • El_Runko

    They’re not getting fatter, it’s called “stocking up for Wisconsin winter” and is perfectly normal.

  • thelionroars

    “RLM – We watch shit movies so you don’t have to”

  • You’re an idiot

    It’s just a nod to him ‘losing’ his finger in the last one they did. They didn’t discuss it because it’s funnier for them to not care.

  • John Krzeminski

    I’ll have a bite of my husband’s omelette…

  • James Camaroon

    It’s probably a side effect from watching so many bad moopies.

  • Yeah but why wear camouflage underneath it? You’re kinda going to stick out regardless of how good the camouflage is…

  • Mike, that instant adoring boyfriend video isn’t sexist. There’s literally hundreds of thousands of videos of instant adoring girlfriend videos online…

  • The bunny noticed there was fur where there wasn’t any fur before

  • Fartastic

    Rich can’t stop cumming at the end. Probably watched an Olsen-Twins movie backstage.

  • sepiajack

    Wow that was great!

  • Fartastic

    Be cool about limb reattachment!

  • MarcusFrost

    Because deer are red-green colorblind (i.e. they have trouble telling the difference between reds, greens, browns, and oranges).

  • Booger

    The Tabuchi legend lives on! And you guys know you deserved this.

  • Fartastic

    They are recently producing a movie called “Where did I go wrong?”, thus closing the circle.

  • Jeremy Clarkson

    I was so hoping for the Tabuchi show…

  • Fartastic

    Believe me, you’ll never go back.

  • Christopher Kulik

    1) Glad I was drinking MGD as Jay was during the show.

    2) Despite the high demand for TREE STAND SAFETY, I kind of had a feeling it would be extremely dull and pointless for those who aren’t taking it seriously. Safety is paramount, after all….but Jay is right in that it felt like it was made to sell products rather than be about a climber’s safety.

    3) Still rather watch the cat video than Shoji Tobuchi, don’t give a damn if it’s the talk of the RLM webzone.

    4) Cheers to the entire RLM crew, laughed my ass off all the way through. Now looking forward to the next Half in the Bag, which should be on HUNGER GAMES 2 and THE WORLD’S END (it’s on DVD now: hands down, best comedy of the year).

    5) All I want for Christmas is a Half in the Bag pint glass 🙂

  • Giovanni Falcone

    That’s it! The freaking duck made me remember!

  • Paul

    The fact that there are sexist videos with the opposite orientation doesn’t make it any less sexist.

  • TapewormBike

    Wait, you had a name before, how come you guested up?

  • TapewormBike

    I love that “Best of the Worst Rich Evans finger continuity” is a thing.

  • Yakui

    I watched the second video on a Sex Ed class when I was 10, about
    what you say around 17:30, the reaction of the class was just plain
    laughing, I can’t really say what would have been my reaction when I was
    like 5, but by 10 most of us knew what a penis, a vagina and the human
    reproductional process were

  • TapewormBike

    Lucky you, we had only our history teachers creepy remarks.

  • Guest

    Show continuity…I love it!

  • Christopher Kulik

    BOTW continuity…I love it! 🙂

  • Now I Get It

    Don’t know. It still hasn’t come back from the pet cemetery,

  • Mick Travis

    Wait, I thought it was the talk of the town (webzone)…

  • James MacLovin Treanor

    There needs to be a RLM t-shirt which says “This duck just staring at crouches is really unsettling.”

  • Now I Get It

    Agreed. I didn’t play Rocky with our pig this year, till after we’d hung it in halves in the garage. There’s just something disrespectful-seeming about drumming on an animal’s rib cage before you’ve even taken its head off.

    It’s like when a championship team whoops it up in the opponent’s building, instead of waiting for the flight home.

  • Annabelle

    “Not me.”

  • Annabelle

    Phrasing.

  • Annabelle

    She’s faking.

  • Now I Get It

    Or maybe that’s what they want you to think about professional assassin Rich “The Cackal” Evans.

  • TapewormBike

    Oh, shut up and flex those muscles, stud!

  • TapewormBike

    I remember someone somewhere mentioned it. Dunno:)

  • El_Runko

    Not to spoil The Shoji Tobuchi Show for those who don’t know what it is, but it’s surprisingly fun and worth watching. I’m guessing it’s gonna be the best of the worst once they get around to it.

  • LukeMM95

    The reactions from you guys throughout this video were just hysterical. You could just read their pain through their facial expressions. The best though has to be Mike’s during the “Where did we come from?” video. Cracked me up because I had the exact same reaction.

  • TapewormBike

    That’s what we call a Freudian slit.

  • TapewormBike

    slip

  • Gene Parmesan

    Was that for the Pizza Bear Trial?

  • ricarleite

    The audience for the boyfriend video? All of those options.

  • Gene Parmesan

    I thought the tape said he won’t force sex upon you.

  • GraphicsAndBeer

    These should be good, I’m glad you sent those…. and had those. 😉

  • pete smith

    It was. I found that book at schools library when I was around that age in early 90’s and all educational material was from 70’s (age of big sexual liberation craze whit puppets having infants inside them, and probably this book).
    Needless to say book and the video only caused awkward giggles, and nobody learned jack sh1t. Anyways most of the guys had discovered porn by that age, so there was really no use for all that symbolism whit dancing sperm and stuff.

  • Jean-François Martel

    i can’t get enough of Rich Evans’ laughter. It’s like cheap crack.

  • TapewormBike

    That is literally the saddest thing I ever heard. Does the end of the tape ends with him yelling “No, don’t!”?

  • TapewormBike

    Cheap maybe, but the intervals between fixes are unshowbizpizzabearable.

  • victorinus

    Hey, wait. What happened with Rich’s finger? You thought we’d forget huh…you FUCKS.

  • TJ

    They need to commission whoever performed “The Curse of the Wolf” theme song to do a “The Best of the Worst” theme – ” Yeah, It’s the Best of the Woooooooooorst”

  • Andrea Ruffin

    In best of the worst side note: I was surprised to see Gymkata on a premium movie channel — and it is as bad as you say. Thank you.

  • Dan Hibiki

    or a T-shirt with a duck on it that’s staring at your crotch.

  • Joe Bloggs

    You never mentioned whether you stopped jacking off or not though.

  • Paul

    stoklasa could have got propper messed up with that ending

  • wrl

    *Rick Berman stares in the distance*

  • CB

    I think we all had a very reasonable expectation of Tree Stand Safety: That it would feature dummies falling out of trees and other poorly-recreated accidents to show what happens if you don’t take safety seriously. Which could be sobering if you were intending to spend time in a tree stand yourself, but amazingly hilarious otherwise.

  • CB

    Also, even with the vest the camouflage still serves its fundamental purpose of breaking up the outline of the person. Deer are afraid of humans, not random orange shapes in a tree.

  • Andrew

    “there is no thing as incredible instant adoring girlfriend” there is, its calling sex doll

  • Nem

    Men can be fire crotches. Stop being sexist.

  • Now I Get It

    I’ve read about that. A hunter was puzzled that, even though he could see tracks, was upwind and quiet, and even heard the animal, he never did see the deer. Then he read this tip: “‘Paint the bottom of your tree stand.’ For the top of…the stand was brown, but the deer saw only the bottom, and the bottom was white.” (p. 100, “Deer Hunting”, *Make-Believe Town* by David Mamet)

  • TapewormBike

    Oh, sorry. I was being a bitch. Now back to the stove!

  • Now I Get It
  • iagrmc

    Yes yes yes!

  • I would watch the Incredible Instant Adoring Boyfriend.

    I would watch it, I would cherish it, and I would take it to bed with me.

    No, not to cuddle.

  • Marozeph

    When Mike said something to the effect of “the ‘girl’ never moves in her chair” i somehow imagined her being tied up while the “perfect boyfriend” was actually ready to snap and wear her skin as a coat the moment she suggested he wasn’t perfectly caring for her.

  • BTW, I happened upon an old news article about the Incredible Instant Adoring Boyfriend, which is as hilarious as it is deeply disturbing.

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/2003/04/25/perfect-man-exists-mdash-on-video/

    My favorite bit:

    So far there are no plans to create an “Incredible Instant Adoring Girlfriend.”
    “That could be controversial, since she’d probably be a girl in her underwear with tape over her mouth handing you a beer,” Lim said.

    Dude, that’s not a girlfriend, that’s a hostage.

  • fred

    Uh…what’s the most dissapointing thing she has seen in her life?

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    Shoji Tabuchi yet?

  • Dradeeus

    You know, if you think of the subject of Adoring Boyfriend as a bound and gagged victim, it becomes a “Silence of the Lambs”-style suspense thriller.

  • TapewormBike

    Oh no, you tapist!

  • Alex Lee

    It’s like the same people who animated Family Guy also animated Where did I come from?

  • TapewormBike

    Did you deliberately start your sentence in a way, every Family Guy joke does?:)

  • Alex Lee

    No, just a coincidence. Seems Family Guy needs to start doing different jokes.

  • TapewormBike

    That reminds me of the time I used to work as a life coach of Chers butthole.

  • Paul Schumann

    Certainly not this guy.

  • Stephen’s Merchant

    To Mr. Plinkett, that’s a Thursday.

    http://instantrimshot.com/classic/?sound=rimshot

  • Alex Lee

    Apparently adults who read/saw Where Did I Come From? say they’re fine with it. Whether they actually are is an entirely different issue.
    http://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-I-Come-From/dp/0818402539

  • tommy o.

    why do you guys have 5 remotecontrolls?

  • catnep

    Next time Kitten Kommotion (mow chicka mow mow) Cat pr0n.

  • HeliopanND09

    I had to think it was a gag gift. And, in the article I believe the producer said it’s meant to be “tongue-in-cheek.”

    “”Interestingly, the script for the “Instant Boyfriend” video was written by a woman, according to Lim.”

    LOL!

  • Tomas_Wittrup

    Alright, so I did go to a hippy school, and I actually watched Where Did I Come From in class. In Grades 1 AND 2. I’d forgotten about the rubbing cats! And there is a sperm swimming laps in a pool wearing a shark fin. Which to this day I like to think my sperm actually wear…

  • Marvin Falz

    It didn’t feed the meter and was towed away.

  • catnep

    You know entirely too much about Rich Evans for a bear with a restraining order.

  • catnep

    It’ll be like the Monkey’s Paw except you get only one wish.

  • catnep

    There is a fair bit of nudity in gnome life, according to the historical documents in the book of Gnomes. They are earthy that way.

  • Vadim Stovbunsky

    Now i’m worried about Shoji Tabuchi show.

  • I was also going to make one of the duck staring at the penis, but that may have been going too far in a few places…

  • Percy Gryce

    It’s gonna be great.

  • Daniel Nguyen-Phuoc

    I’m really curious to see what Rich Evans’ story arc is going to be. First learning about fire safety, and then losing a finger in a tragic freak chainsaw accident, now clearly PTSD about fire…

  • Fartastic

    He’s finally going to sail over the sea to the Undying Land, accompanied by “Wizard”, seeking peace.

  • Mark Bisone

    The answer is likely “all of the above” for Virtual Boy Pal Friend, but Jessi’s opinion is the rightest: this video’s largest target market was for homely, obese, cat ranchers, for whom the line between reality and fantasy has suffered multiple Gaussian blur filters. Rich’s problem is that he can’t conceive of a universe in which someone can endure Blondie McBritfuck’s panderfest without laughing. The mundane horrors of life are often inaccessible by divine messengers like Richevans.

  • And then… beloved mascot.

  • Akercocke Jones

    They need to make a Rich Evans plush doll that laughs when you poke it. Like a tickle-me-Elmo, except immeasurably more awesome. Thumbs up if you think RLM should make this. I’d buy one in a heart-beat.

  • Mark Bisone

    I was dearly hoping “Tree Stand Safety” would turn out to be an epic Tolkienian instructional video for Ents, explaining how they can safely murder the treehugging enviro-freaks who insist on climbing them. Unfortunately, it was just a prototype youtube upload from Iowa.

    At this rate, Shojii Tabuchi is going to turn out to be an outtakes clip from “Glee”.

  • RC_cola
  • omitted

    My own Incredible Instant Adoring Boyfriend is watching Quick Cuts on mute. Then I can imagine Jay saying all those complimentary things to me…

  • Crixxxx

    They should have shot Tree Stand Safety with a bow and arrow from a tree.

  • Now I Get It
  • iagrmc

    I laughed so hard when Rich ran out with the fire extinguisher that I cried.

  • Percy Gryce

    Um, yeah.

  • Torgos_Giant_Knees

    What’s wrong with being sexy?

  • Duckler

    Well done, sir. Well done.

  • Duckler

    Why does the kitten video cover not show kittens, but an old lady and two kids apparently watching a kitten video?

  • Alex Lee

    “UHAAHAAHAA! That’s my junk!”

  • Mark Bisone

    Sex sells, that’s why.

  • Jesus

    Holy shit I had “where did I come from” on VHS as a kid and watched it so many times.

    Awesome.

  • Rob Rose

    She. NEVER. Lets. Anyone. Talk. Until she’s done with her ridiculously long points that would require five minutes of silence.

  • Mad Brochacho

    Uh, yeah, sure buddy.

  • Eric Boost

    Holy crap! I remember watching where did I come from in primary school. I was always terrified of the creepy duck that blows away bubbles to see people naked.

  • Guest

    I love how Jessi keeps pssshing Mike when she speaks, It’s like she is saying “bitch let me finish!”, lol u can totally tell they are in a relationship by the way she speaks to him. I love the fact that he looks down when he gets psssshed lol…

  • Sativa Indica

    I love how Jessi pssshed Mike around the 24 min mark. She is telling him “bitch its my turn to speak”, and when she pssshed him I love that fact that he looked down!. You can totally tell they are in a relationship…

  • Spockrates

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyT3XLLpmpE

    Apparently they made a video about puberty as well called “What’s happening to me?”

  • Pabst

    What the fuck happened to Rich’s finger?! Rich! Are you alright?! Do you need me to call you the ambluance?!

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    I guess I’ll go ahead and explain the camouflage/orange vest juxtaposition.

    The main purpose of camouflage is to break up an object’s outline. Creatures with great eyesight can see an object that passes by its line of sight due to the object’s large, continuous shape. Camouflage effectively breaks the outline of the object’s shape and it allows it to blend into the background. Deer are unable to really see orange and red, so they interpret it more as a grey color. The orange allows a hunter to be seen by other hunters, which helps them avoid the “I thought it was a deer in camo!” excuse on the accidental shooting police report, while still keeping the hunter hidden with their camouflage.

  • John Michael Sanford

    I think Rich Evans needs to spend less time with fire safety and more with BLADE safety, because he is DEFINITELY MISSING A FUCKING FINGER on his left hand.

  • Stephen’s Merchant

    The rare sequel that’s bigger and better than the original!

    http://i39.tinypic.com/zx33bc.png

  • SilhouetteMan

    “Now there’s a woman I’d actually wanna fuck!”

  • TapewormBike

    Bitches be bitchin, bro! (Pssssssst, I am actually talking about him, tee hee!)

  • Steven

    No offense to any other BOTW members, but I’m so happy when a new episode comes out starring just Jessi, Mike, Jay and Rich Evans. Besides being an amazingly funny and entertaining team, you realize while watching that the four of them ARE RedLetterMedia.

  • JAKMACK

    LMAO why is the sneeze zoom in so fucking funny!

  • Muzzy Muzzberg

    I think one of the hunters in Treestand Safety was also interviewed by Moore in Bowling for Columbine.

  • Jillian

    When you mentioned that the woman was stationary the whole time, my first thought was: “That’s because she’s a corpse. He murdered her in a fit of rage and now he’s trying to make up for it by being super nice because he’s still in denial. That, or she’s a kidnapping victim and he’s a sociopath who likes playing mind games.”
    My mind is a strange place sometimes.

  • tjp77

    Man, Jessi was in a freaking MOOD today. Yikes.

  • Aleksandras Ševčenko

    omg i don’t remember when i laughed so hard
    wish i had this collection of shitty tapes so i could do my own wheel of the worst at home with my friends :DDD

  • cabbo

    Mike’s member.

  • Pebkio Nomare

    Y’know, I that was the cartoon that my parents put on the television for
    my sister and I to watch when, I guess, they thought we had spied on
    them. We sure did learn a lot, it was very detailed.

    Also, I was seven years old! …>.> This explains so much.

    Tangentally,
    there was still no Tabuchi… so I’m pissed. Tree Stand Safety,
    though, was everything I was hoping it’d be and more.

  • Pebkio Nomare

    Okay, I play that off as “oh, now I know why…” but the truth is that Where do I Come From was a such a big event in my life that I never forgot it’s influence. It’s an ever-present monster in my past of confusion and weird arousal that rears it’s ugly head in certain soul searching moments.

    I usually like to be funny on the internet but I’m going be a bit serious when I say that, if you’re a parent, don’t do this to your kids. I think being open and honest is important, but don’t go into the kind of weird detail this movie did.

  • The likelyhood of getting The Shoji Tabuchi Show in each episode is 37.5%
    The likelyhood of getting The Shoji Tabuchi Show by episode 3 is 75.6%, which did not happen
    The likelyhood of getting The Shoji Tabuchi Show by episode 4 is 84.8%
    The likelyhood of getting The Shoji Tabuchi Show by episode 5 is 90.5%
    The likelyhood of getting The Shoji Tabuchi Show by episode 6 is 94.0%

    IT’LL HAPPEN

  • Pebkio Nomare

    Fallacy! From the start, that’s the average chance by episode blah blah. BUT! Once the new episode is being worked on, the actual likelihood of Shoji Tabuchi being selected is reduced to the same 37.5% as the first show as there are still 8 movies to chose from.

    And if you really want to look at it all boring like – it’s not a 3/8 chance each week. It’s the combination of 1/8 then 1/7 then 1/6… which is exactly the same outcome now that I’ve done the math so nevermind!

  • Pebkio Nomare

    Why is this a thing on the thread? I know I was annoyed by the commercial too, but I didn’t tie it in with this episode. Did I miss something?

  • Captain Turbo

    So basically if the hunter is shot dead, the police can pin it on somebody. Well, that’s reassuring.

  • Captain Turbo

    Why do I have a sudden urge for an omelet with turkey bacon, avocado, and jalapeno?

  • bulloxe4

    If you spin the wheel once it’s 1/8. But the next time you spin it assuming you didn’t get Shoji Tabuchi Show and that the option you did get last time doesn’t count anymore, it’s actuall 1/7 now. Because you had to take one option out. So the third spin if you didn’t get TSTS it’s 1/6 of getting it.

    So the probability of getting the TSTS is actually 29.76 %.
    Now on the next episode, the same thing happens. It’s 29.76 % of getting it in any single episode.
    The probability of not getting TSTS in a single episode is (100 – 29.76) %. It’s 100 % minus the probability of getting it, right.
    So the probability of NOT getting TSTS in three episodes is that to the power of 3, or 34.65 %. NOT getting it in four episodes is 24.34 %.
    But in any single episode there is 29.76 % probability of scoring it assuming the problem is actually probabilistic. So, on episode 4 we have to count on 29.76 % of watching TSTS, not 75.66 % or 84.8 % like you said.

    Anyway. Sorry for being an asshole.

  • bulloxe4

    If you spin the wheel once it’s 1/8. But the next time you spin it assuming you didn’t get Shoji Tabuchi Show and that the option you did get last time doesn’t count anymore, it’s actuall 1/7 now. Because you had to take one option out. So the third spin if you didn’t get TSTS it’s 1/6 of getting it.

    So the probability of getting the TSTS is actually 29.76 %.

    Now on the next episode, the same thing happens. It’s 29.76 % of getting it in any single episode.

    The probability of not getting TSTS in a single episode is (100 – 29.76) %. It’s 100 % minus the probability of getting it, right.

    So the probability of NOT getting TSTS in three episodes is that to the power of 3, or 34.65 %. NOT getting it in four episodes is 24.34 %.

    But in any single episode there is 29.76 % probability of scoring it assuming the problem is actually probabilistic. So, on episode 4 we have to count on 29.76 % of watching TSTS, not 75.66 % or 84.8 % like you said.

    Anyway. Sorry for being an asshole.

  • Mark Bisone

    That’s a nasty gash.

  • Mr.Fister

    hahahaha I laughed more than I should…am I a bad person?

  • James MacLovin Treanor

    Fuck it, WE should just make these t-shirts!

  • JM

    I saw that Sec Ed Video in Grade School, it was shown to the class. I remember it being mostly awkward and funny and somewhat informing

  • KonradZell

    My God, Jay’s beard gets more magnificent with every episode…

  • tre

    I am double disappointed by “Tree Stand Safety”. The cover always looked too me like a man doing a handstand on a tree. I thought a “Tree Stand” was a hand stand on a tree 🙁

  • AsamiSato

    My husband and I totally impulse bought the Instant Adoring Boyfriend for $5. I can’t wait to watch it, rewatch it, show it to my family, play it in the background during parties, etc 🙂

  • Greg G Gould

    Rich may have gone too far in a few places.

  • RN

    Why did they censor the deer getting shot? This is the site that made Fuckbot video in response to the Daniel Tosh rape joke, and they always show violent/gross things.

  • TapewormBike

    I appreciate what you have done there. But my own calculations tell me, that the probability of me reading a post which includes more than one probability percentage is close to 0. From the negative side.

  • Jimmy Kewley

    Where is the Rich Evans sex tape?

  • Admiral Bone-to-Pick

    Enough with the randomness! One of you manually stop the wheel at some point in the next episode to force it to give us the Shojii Tabuchi show!!

  • BM

    Who knew an ABC fire extinguisher burns your eyes and nose so much? These guys, that’s who.

  • Nicodemus-Rexx

    I will not be fooled into clicking that link and having that show up in my Amazon “Recently Viewed” box.

  • Burgerlord

    I’m going to buy my omelet from a Verizon store first thing tomorrow!

  • TapewormBike

    Never seen the video before, but “mostly awkward and funny and somewhat informing” pretty much describes my high school sexual ecperiences.

  • TapewormBike

    Wild guess would be most of the comments about her in here.

  • dick_nigga

    i want to have sex with mike’s box-faced girlfriend

  • James Camaroon

    It’s gonna be great.

  • Alex

    27:30 “will you marry me”…..
    XX Creepy Sex Looks XX

  • AssHat900

    “not me”, Takes the show.

  • TapewormBike

    I remembered the dog in the vest as well.

  • Dr_Funkalicious

    i had the book the “where did i come from”-movie was based on. wouldn’t say i felt it was awkward, but then i was pretty young (i think it was before first grade?) by the time i read it so the concept of sex or conception didn’t seem that exciting at the time i guess.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I haven’t watched this episode yet and already this is beautiful.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I hope you weren’t holding your baby…

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’m about to watch this episode. I notice that it’s 33m25s long. That means I’ll be watching it for an hour.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Somebody had to correct him seeing as how bulloxe1 through 3 didn’t.

  • catnep
  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Where’s Rich Odds?

  • BenjaminSantiago

    I fear it’s more complicated than that. I’m not well versed in probability and I don’t care enough to look it up right now, but the ACTUAL probability of them getting TSTS is 1 out of however many movies they have, which according to the opening, is continually growing. This number is compounded by the 1/8 number, and the fact that they’ve influenced the wheel’s motion (Gymkata episode), and that we’re assuming that spinning and construction of the wheel is perfectly sound (I don’t doubt RLM’s construction skills), as well as the weight of the individual movies is even…

    If you want to influence the wheel just find a VHS of the Shoji Tabuchi Show and send it in. I honestly think it will be crap (from watching some Shoji Tabuchi videos online and reading reviews of his show), and the best we might get are some rascist jokes.

    My money is on that Dunkin Donuts event tape. At my job we do some internal Marketing Videos for McGraw Hill and I’ll bet there is some gold on that Dunkin tape.

  • hailtofire

    Yes, also in some states they’ve increased the amount of blaze orange you have to wear. So they sell hunting gear that is entirely orange with some black tiger stripes on it because it still breaks up the human outline.

  • Now I Get It

    Your monkey paw line is so perfect, like your scream cat, it merits an equally spectacular image. The one I found came close. Oddly, its link is dead if you click it but live if you cut & paste. (I also find that, lengthwise, her pins nailed it.)

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I don’t even have words for this.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I was going to make a joke about buying that video and leaving it somewhere for my kids to find it and view it, being an evil parent and whatnot.

    Then I read your comment and don’t think I want to subject them to that horror. Also the fact that they’ll have no fucking idea what to do with a VHS tape as I doubt I’ll have a VCR whenever I have kids [if I have any].

  • Joshua Barkdull

    I suspect the adoring boyfriend video was intended as a sincere gift from parents to daughters who want a boyfriend but who are either too young or too sheltered (possibly too ugly) to have a real boyfriend. Maybe intended to set expectations for young girls so they don’t date “bad boys” or low life assholes.

    But honestly there is no way to tell.

  • Hank

    *…Begins masturbating harder than ever*

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    YYYEEEESSSSSSSS!

    Rich has the Watchmen pin on his shirt that The Comedian wore. Fucking mint!

  • Percy Gryce

    Furiously, one might say?

  • Percy Gryce

    As a wise man once said, bigger is not always betterer.

  • decadyn

    Here is an excerpt from the creator of Instant Boyfriend from this interview, http://www.foxnews.com/story/2003/04/25/perfect-man-exists-mdash-on-video/

    “Interestingly, the script for the “Instant Boyfriend” video was written by a woman, according to Lim…So far there are no plans to create an “Incredible Instant Adoring Girlfriend.”“That could be controversial, since she’d probably be a girl in her underwear with tape over her mouth handing you a beer,” Lim said.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That ending… this was one of the few ones where I couldn’t tell if they were kidding around or not.

    Did Mike died?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “Are you guys alcoholics? Well me toooo- LICK MY CUNT!

  • Mark Bisone

    Or his insurance plan!

  • Mike Hunt

    You want to lick me?

  • Joen Ström Helleberg

    My god.. We saw that sex education video in sex ed class when we were 14.. We laughed our asses off!

  • Nancy Frye

    Oh my word….my husband saw me watching this and burst out, “We (he and his first wife, with whom he had three girls) had that video!!!” Apparently it’s aimed for kids age, oh, 4 to 8. His girls were in that range, and he says they were utterly confused by the whole thing. Well, duh. Way…too…young. Wow. Amazing.

  • Nancy Frye

    Wait….where is Rich’s left index finger?!?!?

  • Thanatos2k

    I love how Rich has bandages on his hand. CONTINUITY!

    (Also Plinkett drink coasters)

  • heyheyhey

    the way rich says ‘theres plenty of dangers’ in the beginning is funny for some reason. its so deadpan you’d think he jsut got mugged on the way in to RLM

  • Duckler

    Not available in the store?! Oh, but there are lovely Best of the Worst pint glasses.. Oooh.

  • Thanatos2k

    No, the Pizza Bear Killer

  • Thanatos2k

    It’s so Dick Cheney doesn’t shoot you.

  • Thanatos2k

    Here, eat this cake.

    EAT IT

  • Thanatos2k

    Palpatine expects Plinkett to review this.

  • Thanatos2k

    They’re holding out on us!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Mike’s reaction to those parents’ climax.

    https://soundcloud.com/angry_zellers/wwwwhhaaaaaaaaattttt

  • It’s the Curse of The Wolf

    They should have thrown Tree Stand Safety out of a tree.

  • DarthRandal

    FINALLY! Fuckin’ Tree Stand Safety!

    And I have to disagree with Rich – the “Be Cool About Fire Safety” references will NEVER get old.

  • DarthRandal

    I wish I had this on VHS so I could send it to them. Or maybe they’d be willing to review it via YouTube:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3kngIqC1wg

  • stoopsmcoops

    The woman in Instant Boyfriend is either bedridden or being held hostage?

  • stoopsmcoops

    This is exactly what I thought.

  • VEF

    Sativa

  • Brandon Allen-Trick

    My parents had me watch that video when I was like 6. I understood it. I turned out fine.

  • Percy Gryce

    So why’d you order a salad, then?

  • NZ

    I thought the exact same thing. Always thought the guy on the cover was doing a hand-stand on a branch. It kept me wondering what sort of safety advice would be involved.

  • Pebkio Nomare

    Heheh, I can see the inside joke now:
    Space Cop, for no reason, suddenly runs off to go use a table saw and then he shows up again with the bandages!

  • Percy Gryce

    NIGI, your ability to pull a relevant anecdote from the writings of a great master of stage and screen is astounding.

  • Percy Gryce

    Exactly.

  • Mike Oxbigge

    Well, I’d certainly like us to get together sometime.

  • Percy Gryce

    It is it?

  • Octo Seven

    The odds are the same every time as long as there is the same amount of VHS’s on the wheel, it’s pretty basic stuff to be honest :S

  • Insert Name Here

    I think the Adoring Boyfriend video is aimed at women in their early twenties, who’ve had a couple bad dates/relationships.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Anyone that shows that to their kids needs to get a new brain medicine prescription.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Yeah, took way longer than an hour. At some point I’ll slowly make my way through the sea of cumments too.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Too bad she doesn’t want to dick the birthday boy, though.

  • You’ve been watching too many Plinkett reviews

  • Richard White

    So obvious that the virtual boyfriend tape was designed for lonely 50 year old spinsters who dont live in the real world but live in a deluded fantasy with about 100 cats. Im sure at the end of the tape the virtual boyfriend pleads at the woman not to hang herself in the garage LOL!

    Also great episode guys this one had me pissing myself laughing

  • Alexa

    Oh god I totally saw that Where did I Come from video when I was a kid. I even read a little bit of the book. It was weird and uncomfortable, but I was also raised Catholic and I’ve always been kind of prude even when I was kid and didn’t even understand the concept of prudishness. *shrugs*

  • bb-15

    This may have been the best Wheel of the Worst.
    – I’ve thought before that Jessi was sort of a prude when she was shocked when Rich talked about screwing some actress.
    But then in this episode Jessi turned the tables on Rich talking about a*@l beads which left Rich speechless. Great moment.
    – The RLM gang were in fine form; Fire safety quips, grandma humping a tree stand, a pervert cartoon duck and who is more lonely.
    – And to top it off, a great ending.

  • Marc Greene

    The looks Jessi gives Mike might haunt me till death.

  • T.e. Post

    Mike, you are awesome, but you obviously no nothing of deer. They can’t see the reflective vests…the vests are for other hunters to see you.

  • Now I Get It

    The trick was finding it. I knew it was from his middle period – after his migration from theatre to more regular film work, but before his migration from Left to Right in politics – but not which anthology it was in. Still, there were only two alternatives.

    In that other essay, this master of the drama confesses that “As a hunter, of course, I am a fraud,” and, logically enough, that “So much of the appeal of field sports, at least to me…is the gear and the language pertinent to the thing.” Both of which fairly sums up my own presence on any construction site I’ve worked at. (p. 171 & 160, “Late Season Hunt”, *Jafsie and John Henry*)

  • Now I Get It

    “Ironically, this guy sounds like Elmer Fudd.”

    Yeah, and he sounds like he didn’t put his fucking teeth in for the narration, either.

  • Yeah I started off thinking about it all complicated like you folks by taking the chosen one off the wheel after each spin. Turns out if you just abstract it down and consider what’s actually happening – We have eight videos and we are choosing three of them at random – it turns out it’s really easy and is actually just 3/8.

  • “the ACTUAL probability of them getting TSTS is 1 out of however many
    movies they have, which according to the opening, is continually growing”

    Considering they have TSTS every time and there are eight videos each time, it’s still right. The number of videos NOT on the wheel is irrelevant.

    “This number is compounded by the 1/8 number, and the fact that they’ve influenced the wheel’s motion”
    Okay, well it’s right if we assume that the wheel is fair. It’s not, but for the sake of sparing me having to go down there and measure the damn thing, we’ll pretend it is.

  • “Anyway. Sorry for being an asshole.”

    I don’t think that was your intention unless you know that I was right. I started off trying to figure it out in a complicated way until I realised how simple it was. If you remove the concept of the wheel and actually look at what’s happening: They have 8 videos and they’re choosing 3 completely at random, that is the outcome, thus the chance of getting any individual video is 3/8.

    If we do it the long, complicated; and look at the inverse probability (i.e., the probability we won’t get the video), it looks like this:

    First spin – 7/8

    Second spin – 6/7

    Third spin – 5/6

    If we multiply all of these together we’ll get the probability that the video will NOT be chosen in a given three spins:

    7/8 x 6/7 x 5/6 = 210/336

    Invert it to get the likelihood that the video WILL be selected:

    1 – 210/336 = 126/336

    Adjust both the numerator and denominator by dividing them by the largest common factor (42) and you get:

    3/8

    It’s the magic fraction I got to. The percentage 37.5%
    So if we do it the easy way or the hard way, we come to the same answer (The wonderful thing about maths). You haven’t actually explained where you pulled 29.76% from; but whoever gave it to you you should demand your money back.

    “But in any single episode there is 29.76 % probability of scoring it assuming the problem is actually probabilistic. So, on episode 4 we have to count on 29.76 % of watching TSTS, not 75.66 % or 84.8 % like you said.”
    I specifically said that in the very first line of my first post. Notice how I said there was an 84.8% chance to get the video BY episode 4, not IN episode 4. That’s the gambler’s fallacy.

  • Yup. Once again, very first line of my post states exactly that.

  • Bacchus

    Loved Rich on Tree Stand Safety: It’s like a puppet now, I’m gonna make ya talk!” Plus the bonus of Rich doing an English accent later on.

    Jessi was great here, loved the difference in reaction between her and Mike when the Deer got shot. Classic awkward comedy.

  • Khyron

    Mike answering “No” to the marriage proposal makes me wander if the was actually so immersed on the incredible adoring boyfriend experience

  • Conquerbeard

    I felt that sneeze.

  • Paul Schumann

    I think it needs more RichEvans.

  • bulloxe4

    No, it’s just a mistake. For some reason I made (7*6*5)/(8*7*6) to be 29.76%.

  • Duckler

    How’d you do that? Are you a mole inside RLM?

  • Joe

    I believe it should be 146/336 ~ 43.45%. See your solution includes cases like 2 TSTS tapes, and 3 being hit in a single show and those are unnecessary calculations. It’s enough to calculate expected value E[x] = 1/8 + 1/7 + 1/6 = 146/336.

  • TapewormBike

    Who is your favourite “Penist” character? Mine is Lucy.

  • TapewormBike

    Whaaaaaaaaat?

  • TapewormBike

    I want to stuff your face in a box.

  • Percy Gryce

    It’s amazing that I when I read a “What?” with 10 a’s, all I hear is Mike’s Palpy voice.

  • TapewormBike

    Yeah, fake stuff, albeit sometimes gory. I do not think they should have censored it, but that is something actually heinous. Had it been Daniel Tosh being shot though, I’d be cool with it.

  • Duckler

    The black one, because well, you know..

  • TapewormBike

    You are a duck, got it.

  • Noah Roalson

    Finally, another wheel of the worst! Made my day 🙂

  • TapewormBike

    That video is at least kinda accurate. I had older couisins that took a large amount of joy in misinforming the 6yr old me. But I turned out allright. Now, excuse me, I will do sex to my girlfriend (well as long as I can find a yellow marker, dead toad and a carnival miror. Wink Wink)

  • TapewormBike

    Just do not wear that vest in Skull Forest.

  • durhay

    There’s never a day that I don’t think about fire safety.

  • TapewormBike

    He’s Space Cop. Seen some real shit. After eating some real shitty hotdogs.

  • TapewormBike

    Are you trying to get some of it in your husbands head subconsciously through repetition?:)

  • TapewormBike

    That is Jaynius.

  • TapewormBike

    Were the authors of Instant Adoring Boyfriend brittish or do women generally like men with posh accents who talk to them while they’re tied to a chair? Also, where the hell is the Instant Abusive Asshole, starring Sean Connery?

  • omitted

    Come to think of it, now all we need is for Jay to do the next Quick Cuts in a towel…

  • Noah Roalson

    Well, I think that it is just generally assumed that women prefer guys with a British accent…

  • TapewormBike

    Blimey

  • Drew D

    “Instant Adoring Boyfriend” might be a “modern” , or at least when it came out, take on “The Continental” made by a complete hack. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Continental_(TV_series)

  • AntifreezeTeetotaler

    How long until some enterprising filmmakers make a baffling movie solely to troll Red Letter Media? “I don’t know who this video was made for, could it be…US????”

  • AsamiSato

    I’m pretty sure that if he started actually saying stuff like that to me I would start beating him to make him stop.

  • catnep

    Why thanks. I have watched the pool cue gif over and over trying to figure out what is happening to the glasses as they fall. Does the top row fall to the side (where we can’t see) or do they actually vanish?! My eyes are telling me they disappear. Very cool effect either way!

    PS: Yes, Faux Leia does an admirable job of posing but Jubba the Slug not so much!

  • Anything

    Haha, worst movies so far, but great episode/review, thanks!

  • Michael Rosbotham

    Me too! But I still think it was odd for my parents to force a 6 year old to watch Instant Adoring Boyfriend

  • TapewormBike

    It actually sounded almost condescending, the way he was just talking about all the stupid stereotypic assumptions.

  • Vinny

    Guys…i REALLY WANNA SEE the dunkin dounuts tape…sounds hilarious

  • Peter

    Jar Jar binks mating call

  • lovetoeatallthefood

    The virtual boyfriend video looks fascinating as a case-study of how pandering can be taken to such an extreme that it becomes condescending to a borderline-offensive degree. I kept expecting the guy just outright turn into the pickup-line bot from Futurama and say “my. two. favourite. things. are: commitment. and changing myself.”

  • lovetoeatallthefood

    Oh, and I also have to wonder if the instant/virtual/whatever boyfriend wasn’t conceived by the same brain-donors who came up with the “Boyfriend Pillow” (in-depth review here: http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/teamt/mjtv/infomercialism/40323-infomercialism-boyfriend-pillow)

  • lovetoeatallthefood

    And he didn’t even demonstrate Fudd’s First Law of Opposition (“If you push something hard enough, it will fall over”). Though to make it up for it, the second video illustrated Teslicle’s Deviant to Fudd’s law (“What goes in, must come out”).

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    Don’t fret Rich. I, too, know all about the Birds and the Beads. They just don’t know what they’re talking about.

  • Saruma

    Americans find pretty much any British accent sophisticated (even the low class ones). I had a female friend that dated a British guy in college because she thought he’d be smarter and classier than American guys. She soon found out he was an idiot that drank beer and watched soccer all day!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    football* 😉

  • Saruma

    I think he understood it. The question is why bother to wear camouflage in the first place if you are going to wear a vest on top of it? The deer may not notice the bright colors but it is a big piece of clothing that is solid, so it defeats the purpose of the camo underneath.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Most of your points are centred around sexual things. You’ve got my upvote.

  • Saruma

    Maybe she was just horrified at the thought of Rich screwing anyone. That mental image would terrify anyone.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    minor*

  • Saruma

    I was shocked at the end of the video when the credits said 1990. Both the content and the artistic style scream 1970s.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Jake: “Well that may have been the most disappointing thing of my life.”
    Jessica: “Not me.”

    Haha. That was a quite unexpected but much appreciated joke. I have a feeling she’s talking about Mic, though… 🙁

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Is this the video with that kid masturbating and the mother comes in awkwardly?

    http://youtu.be/HOqYEmEHoJ0

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Or… is that the video where Ricky trips on acid while jerkin’ it?

    http://youtu.be/V_L-miRT16s

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That was Rich’s reaction from his own private viewing of the film.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    All none of them.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Oh by the way, which one’s Red?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Then we’ll see his second beard…

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    ‘Mike Stoklasa and the Member of Disappointment’

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Whoever taught you English is probably embarrassed right now.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I honestly thought that was what the song was saying whenever I heard it.

  • Thanatos2k

    But are you cool about it?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You were also hiding your erection?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    TTS was bust, but TSTS may deliver.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “That’s a lot of cum.”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You’re on a roll, Tikebakewarm.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Funny how ‘ringer’ and ‘finger’, while spelled nearly the same, sound different. Fucking English… doesn’t make any sense, always breaking its own rules.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Stop being sexist and start being double-sexist. 🙂

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That’s because those pages were stuck together, weren’t they?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    And nang next up is the birds and the beads.

  • DanceK

    …that just… so… I… you just pissed allover my childhood. Thank you. It looks better now.

  • Agarax

    I remember my step-mother borrowing that sex-ed video from the library when I was young.

    I was very confused afterward.

  • BunnyFooFoo

    Incredible Instant Adoring Boyfriend looks like a home video that the police found in some serial killer’s closet. I believe the actual target audience is a terrified woman duct taped to a chair for several months.

  • Internet Fakename

    The redhead is so cute. I just want to pin her down, spread open her buttcheeks, put my ear up to her asshole, and force her to fart.

  • Tre

    Has no one noticed Rich Evans has his hand bandaged and appears to be missing his pointer finger? God, I love RLM, it’s all in the details baby.

  • It is definitely part of the serial killer’s starter kit.

  • Who are these people you’re talking about?

  • Daniel Bellfield

    sitting posture

  • Steve

    I voted you down and then immediately realized who posted this. D’oh!

  • Percy Gryce

    Pants or no pants?

  • Percy Gryce

    But who was running the cameras?

  • Percy Gryce

    I just read that as: “A deer carcass is a joy forever.”

    Man, am I tired.

  • omitted

    Before Jay was kinda cute, but now with THE BEARD it’s like “How YOU doin’?”

  • Marquis Moon

    PALPATINE’S BEHIND IT ALL!

  • cobrazombie

    With any luck she’ll shart.

  • Steven

    Obviously Jay. He’s just that good.

  • Shane Johnson

    So… I was shown “Where Did I Come From?” in high school biology. That’s right. HIGH SCHOOL. I had basically the same reaction as RLM. I talked to some of my classmates later and we all thought it must have been made for young children, but it was fairly graphic (for lack of a better term). We couldn’t understand why we shown the video. It was probably the weirdest experience I had in high school.

  • Now I Get It

    Yeah, the only thing I can make out is that the last glass on the bottom row physically moves, so, it can’t be a total editing trick. Or can it?

    Or maybe the whole thing hinges on the glasses being lined up on a curve, and that the shooter appears to strike the first glass on its inside edge.

    Ricky Jay might know, but I can’t fathom it.

    P.S. Yes, Leia should salt that slug.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    The people at Med Redder Pedia. It’s like you’re not even a fan…

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    For her sake I hope she doesn’t read these awful comments.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’ve never worn pants…

  • TapewormBike

    Oh come on, my right hand begs to differ.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Wait, that comment doesn’t even make sense.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Leave Jill out of this.

  • Now I Get It

    Aha, Firesign Theatre! That’s some admirable obscurity.

  • Quonk II

    Huh, let’s have a minute of silence for Rich’s left index finger…

  • DarthRandal

    Holy shit. I’ve never seen that version of it.

    Thank you, sir. My girlfriend hates the original but I’m sure she’ll loathe this version much more.

  • LukeMM95

    Of course, weren’t you?

  • Not Claude Akins

    Real injury, or admirable continuity?

  • Not Claude Akins

    Has anyone considered that “Boyfriend” is actually a proof of concept for a gender-flipped “Misery” sequel?

  • TapewormBike

    I hope you gave yourselve the one upvote, because I don’t think I want to be in the same universe as TWO people who think like that.

  • Not Claude Akins

    Holy shit. Everything about this is questionable. The gentle soundtrack. The wanking kid. Mom’s dead eyes. What did the casting call look like? “Seeking young man to pantomime masturbation; need not be vigorous; no physical contact, I’m just going to film it.”

  • TapewormBike

    Fucking eh, football.

  • TapewormBike

    It is certainly a proof of misery of anybody who purchased it for its original purpose.

  • Quonk II

    Oh crud! You know what? I COMPLETELY forgot about Rich sawing off his finger at the end of the last BOTW episode… Well, admirable continuity indeed!

  • Now I Get It

    But they do know what those body parts are for already, just from using the bathroom. And that’s about all they need to know, as the need for elimination is there from birth, whereas the need for sex is not.

    And, so, there’s nothing within the child, at that age, to send him running to the bedroom the way he must sometimes run to the bathroom, nothing that he needs to have explained to him, nothing that he needs to be bed-trained for, the way that he needs to be toilet-trained.

    A young child will, yes, feel an impulse to be affectionate – but sexual? No.

    As for answering “Where did I come from?” at that age, I was given to understand that I came from Nova Scotia.

  • TapewormBike

    Oh, Michel Burrito, never change.

  • Now I Get It

    Love it! And that bit about Milwaukee having a skyline is hysterical.

  • Now I Get It

    Oh, shit, there’s a picture. I had no idea. I’m so glad I decided to upgrade my bowser, I mean, browser.

    Although RLM is a cathedral of artfully rendered gag gifts, I’ll spare you the punny (and I suspect inaccurate) political retort that the picture is a Blue Dog bow-down, and, instead, thank you so much.

  • hensandwich .

    Just in case some of you didn’t already know, both the Adoring Boyfriend and the sex cartoon are on youtube in their entirety.

  • Percy Gryce

    No one has mentioned the most shocking revelation of this episode: When Richevens proclaimed that he’s never had sex. Surely what he meant was that he’d never had sex with a mere mortal woman–for his conquests among the Celestials and the Ancient Ones and the Giantesses and the Titanesses are the stuff of legend and are sung in songs throughout the world.

  • thatsrightjay

    How much money do I need to donate to have it be these 4 every BOTW? How about I send in a blank check monthly and RLM can fill in the amount. Thank you in advance.

  • thatsrightjay

    nope, nobody noticed

  • thatsrightjay

    i was getting so turned on till the last five words, thanks a lot you bonerkiller

  • Captain Imabadguy

    Notice at 9:44 how the angelic laughter of Rich Evans mates perfectly with Fat Ethel celebrating the death of another dear, fracturing the space-time wombspace continuum of editing as we know it, and giving birth to stupid comments like this.

  • LoveSW_Prequels

    Just a fan’s suggestion,

    Maybe stick more to full movies as opposed to instructional type vids, just seemed like a lot less ‘meat’ this time.

    Peace

    More Plinkett damn youse!!

  • Captain Imabadguy

    I was quite inspired by those hand-drawn duck, dick, and vagina animations. So I made this.

    http://i40.tinypic.com/2zeifes.jpg

  • Percy Gryce

    At the end, Mike sounded like Beefankle the Blacksmith rolling into the furnace.

  • loganpars

    My roommate has “Where Do I Come From?” and the book….

    It’s been stored in a box for years. I made her watch this video once I found out.

  • DarthRandal

    Watch the whole video from beginning to end. Be sure to do it with a large group for the most awkward and unintentionally funny experiences of your life.

  • Jonah Falcon

    I owned the book “Where Did I Come From”, way back in the late 70’s. It was a little more explicit, and even talked about how you can tell a woman is dying her hair because her bush was a different color.

  • Igor Fetir

    Wow, even these guys are trained to conform to the nonsensical American puritanism. What the hell happens if you tell a child of any age facts about life??And they even label that as some hippy bullshit..

    Americans are so fucking stupid and obnoxious.

  • The HD

    Do you give babies penis shaped pacifiers? There is a limit

  • The HD

    Seriously need a premium service or something I can pay monthly not to see any commercials. I swear, one more Verizon and I won’t visit for, like, at least a day!

  • noxcovenant

    Igor, go back to russia. =)

    And russia, ironically, is even more puritanical than America.

  • noxcovenant

    RLM has more continuity than Family Guy.

  • Seth

    Loved the ending. Rich Evans is a blossoming young star who continues to show tremendous range both on and off the screen.

  • Percy Gryce

    I can’t see this pic.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Wait, when did he say that?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “weirdest experience I had in high school”

    ‘Experience’ translates to ‘boner’.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That’s right, Jay!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    We call it ‘SKSK’ in my part of town.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Michél*

    I’m Canadian, dude. Come on!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I thought it was their teeth.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Don’t forget to invite grandma!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I think the kids in the film were actual people with disabilities.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    That was a perfect comment.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Be sure to record her nightmares for us [ask that secret asshole David from Prometheus how to work it out].

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I see you typed ‘m’ instead of ‘g’. Let me fix that for you.

    Gan*

    Oh, wait…

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    With their new-found love affair with continuity, I’m sure 4 years from now when they’ve reached their 13th episode of Quick Rich Evans in the Half Bag Plinkett of the Worst Cuts, that disappearing doll from The Conjuring review will show up suddenly.

    The next great thing after that will be waiting about 3 years for Space Cop.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Yeah, but only because my grandmother was also watching it with me.

    RIP Nan…

  • Joe Syxpac

    That’s exactly how I was thinking it should end. When he is proposing to the camera it should turn around and show a woman with duct tape over her mouth and mascara running down her face.

  • Joe Syxpac

    The “facts of life” also include some of the most appalling and racist depictions of different people around the world.

    A black child in the opening sequence is actually shown with a spear.

  • Crowsteeth

    Quit chin wagging, you frakking hippy.

  • Now I Get It

    Yeah, the pic didn’t post, and the link goes 404. So, here’s the link, again, in a more cut & pasteable form that should take you to a baffling gif.

    bannedinhollywood.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/nailed-it-bannedinhollywood-09.gif

  • Now I Get It

    A troublesome link for a baffling gif. Try assembling these into a link you can cut & paste. It should take you past the 404 message.

    bannedinhollywood
    .com/
    wp-content/
    uploads/
    2013/
    11/
    nailed-it-bannedinhollywood-09.
    gif

  • Now I Get It
  • Now I Get It

    That woman, you can tell she’d never use drugs. Just cigarettes and coffee. And gin. And her boyfriend in the insurance scam they planned for the money they were gonna use to get away from it all, till she made him her patsy, the fat chump. …I loved that dame. She was my music teacher. Now I’ve got nothin’. Now I’m just a teen on drugs. Drugs and old movies.

  • thatsrightjay

    until they caught on to the book and started dying their bushes to throw us off… clever girls

  • Mark Bisone

    Australia also has one of the highest rates of child molestation in the world.

    http://www.aic.gov.au/publications/current%20series/tandi/421-440/tandi429.html
    http://journalistsresource.org/studies/government/criminal-justice/global-prevalence-child-sexual-abuse#

    Lucky for them, they weren’t hung up about it. They were probably just waiting for the heart explosion and the “tickle.”

    Now fuck off back to your deserted prison camp of a country, ya bloody wombat.

  • Nick Johnson

    Deer are color blind. The brightness of it might catch the deer’s attention in the wrong light, but bright orange is needed during hunting season to help you stand out as a human.

  • TapewormBike

    Fuck, now I have to behave, oherwise you will beat me up with your big bacon (Double entendre? That is what I am all aboot).

  • I bet all the guys here have a secret crush on Jessi.

  • Rich Wisneski

    Oh no. I actually watched “where did I come from” when I was 5 or six. I retained/learned nothing from it. I still remember that duck, and some of the music, but learned nothing.

  • TapewormBike

    I just wish some of them would keep it way more secret.

  • Ben Burger

    Fire Safety with Rich Evans:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZA8iigl3Ck

  • Adolf

    WHY DID MY MUM MAKE ME WATCH THIS WHEN I WAS 5

  • Percy Gryce

    @19:38

  • Percy Gryce

    Got it. That’s one thirsty trick-shot master.

  • bb-15

    I don’t think I’ve watched a Wheel of the Worst twice until this one.
    The regular RLM gang are a lot of fun here.
    And the ending was terrific.

  • winzentween

    WOW then ending escalated quickly! Rich was epic, Jessie was super hot and sassy and so funny the way she looks to Mike every time something something bad happens. Jay is just a smart guy and Mike is so funny.

  • winzentween

    What was meta was this episode and the show in general lol

    I wonder if they team see that while they are trying to fathom what ‘the amazing incredible lonely widow sorry boyfriend’, actually is intended for, they themselves are 100% full filling the same process and for the same shameless reasons of making a buck. This is not a criticism as we love the show and RLM deserve to make something via advertising as they are producing an often quality deceptively complicated carefully constructed product.

    No one watches BOTW or even HITB for the reviews, we watch it to spend time with these people as they are so likeable and yes funny too but the beer and the gags and laid back accepting nature with the occasional talking to the camera is totally aimed at creating a false familiarity with the audience with no specific time period it too can be used in the exact same way as the gay foot fetish mag vid does.

    The real difference is the majority of the audience for these shows are basically mirrors (but less clever or funny) versions of the people on screen (I know I am lol) who just want to be accepted and part of the indie crowd. Who wouldn’t want to watch a film with jay and mike or even rich as they rock but they r not the cool kids, they r the guys who complain but do so constructively and based on some experience.
    The latter is why they appeal to a slightly more intelligent demo than the average net rant webisodes while appearing to be dumb with fart gags and ultimately most sketches ending in screaming anarchy and violence the show has become increasingly sophisticated and self referential as presumably J and M have become more experienced or the budget has expanded….just look at the camera work to understand this as well as the very slick editing which appears natural when ofcourse it is created and controlled for our viewing pleasure. Even the inclusion of Jessi the hot girlfriend (who is also a talented singer and keyboardest / musician!!!!!) is clearly to appeal to a new demo of guys like me who will ‘try’ to influence their partners to be more interested in film (and weirdness) while also providing sex appeal as she is always attractive.

    I love Rich most of all as his role has expanded he represents probably more of the audience than Jay or Mike or Jessie and is closer to the type of person who tunes in but also through his naievity and sweet nature as a man child who claims to not have relationships he crosses the age gap to teens.
    IF you think about it with TBOTW you have the following demos represented – single man, man in relationship, women in relationship, man child/teen, straight and a-sexual, white and much more but the point is this far exceeds what we originally started with which was basically the same one demo repeated over 2-4 people.

    Good for RLM for expanding its themes and widening its audience as I love everything they have produced except for the cartoons which though well meaning like the sex video really are inferior in relation to everything else (and none of what I said above even touches on the cast as film makers or produces selling a stand alone product which is another aspect entirely to this brand).

  • winzentween

    THIS

  • Utritum
  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I need to. My clothes are getting a bit dirty.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Uh, okay?…

    Don’t quit your day job.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Please tell me that wombspace is oxygenated.

  • Melkiyad

    Jessi <3
    awesome episode! 😀 I love how each member of the gang contributed to the discussion ^^

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    How the fuck did I miss that? I guess I was too focused on him fucking up the English language again. Should we start a petition to get Richevans [Richevens?] laid?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash
  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    aboótè*

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    At what point while typing this did brain matter start to ooze out of your ears?

  • Mark Bisone

    I think somebody left the booby hatch open again.

    Were they raised in a baaaaarn?

  • Percy Gryce

    Whadaya mean? Winzentween was awarded a doctorate in humane letters for that dissertation from the media studies department at the University of Woolloomooloo. So that’s Doctor Booby Hatch to you.

  • Percy Gryce

    If fiddling around on the Interwebs could get you laid, I’d be right up there with Casanova and Wilt Chamberlain.

    As it is, I don’t have sex. I’m married.

  • TapewormBike

    I’ve returned from the word jungle that is your post and I bring points with me! So, you say, that we all like to watch RLM stuff because in addition to being freaking smart, funny and insightful about movies, they seem like a great guys you would love to spend your time with (which actually feels circular). You should have stopped there, since lots of the additional explaining I really cannot fully agree with. I am not going to make fun again of the length of your post since as it appears I am holding a rock, ready to throw it at the glass house I am sitting in.

    Ok, first of all, yeah, I get your point about them being a sort of “Instant Clever Friends” for us, but that is where the similarity ends, since the last thing they actually do is to pander to us fans in any way. Also, you really think that they are shameless in wanting to get paid for their work? You obviously like them, so what is wrong with them surviving? They get most of their money through advertising, not from their viewers money, the only time RLM will monetarily affect you, is when you decide to donate and notice how they NEVER push that in their videos.

    Second of all, your analysis of the group teensy weensy creeps me out. What makes Rich a man-child? That he likes comics? His beautiful baby face? Because other than those very dubious reasons, he is just another smart person, with great points and the best laugh ever to come out of anything. In regards to Jay, I think it is us who made him single, so we can post quite creepy comments (guiltyyyyyyyyy!) and mash ups videos with Gillian. Oh and can we agreee that it’s tedious, that Jessi can almost never be mentioned in the comments without a remark about her looks? It’s ok to drool people, just do not post it.

    Lastly, fuckbot rules and Careboars is the Citizen Kane of starting after every video.

    IF YOU CAN READ THIS, i HOPE IT IS OBVIOUS THAT I RESPECT YOUR OPINION ENOUGH TO NERD OUT BACK AT YOU.

  • TapewormBike

    Well, looking at your name and avatar, she might have gone too far in few places.

  • Mark Harrison

    The RLM guys are being very selfless in watching also these awful VHS tapes, but I really think they should introduce some sort of quality control from now on!

  • winzentween

    hello, thank you for your comments though i was not looking for a reply i am happy to reply lol
    I think(know) Rich has stated that he does not have sexual relationships and i think he said he was a virgin (? which is cool) and clearly misses on much of the more adult humor (which they now make a thing of).
    Also im sure he lives with his gran or mum still and yes at his age he is still more about videogames and comics but thats ok ….as he is friken awesome. He even has a slight speech impediment which is super cute and though not indicative of any one thing might suggest with other things that yes he is a man child (who isnt lol).
    I also know some other stuff but that’s all you need and even if I am wrong who cares?

    I love the show, i’m right and if im not…. again, who cares?
    i dont lol
    you clearly love the show too so win win.

    F@ckbots does not rule and Jay and Mike are on record in interviews saying that it is not ‘ their type of humor’ and thats why it doesnt appear often as it was Jessi and a friend who invented it. I hate fuck bot as it is crass and dumb and though RLM pretends to be just that , its not and when it is, it doesnt work half as well.

    Also Jessi is hot, deal with it and thats why she is there among other reasons in as much as she is not mikes ugly gf but his attractive one. Also I mentioned she is in a band and a musician which is 100% more than most and guess what I know her music and have seen her play and she rocks so deal with that too everyone lol

    If my comments are creepy yours are naive and thats not a complaint as maybe you are less informed than me.

    Furthermore are you a contributor ? I am(thats not a boast), in that I pay money now and again (not much but something) to support them and so have a right to make comments if I like especially supportive ones.

    As far as the advertising goes well that sometimes is so bad I have even spoke to them about this online as it really impacts on my experience though Im cool with it and in no way would stop their revenue and as you say they dont push it but then they dont need to as the site does that for them (atleast my one does…heavily).

    My time is PRECIOUS, I mean why isnt yours? i barely have time for this show but I make it as I love it but my time is INCREDIBLY precious and maybe when you know more about life you will feel the same as I do but if not thats cool, im not here to rant or pick holes in you and am amazed ive found time to reply but as you made the point of stating clearly you are also a big fan I am paying you that respect, though im not sure why you needed to comment, maybe you thought I was looking to have a conversation? my mistake if it read like that, i was just stating the junk in my mind and increasing their post meter which helps them with the advertising etc.

    Keep talking to me if you want as i always have time for fans of this show and you seem like a nice person 😀

    also please throw that rock and break that class and i will help u pick up the pieces…

  • winzentween

    lol I actually do have a degree in media studies and a post grad in film and work in the graphics industry and get to see film making behind the scenes if that helps lol my life rocks and thats y i love RLM, what about yours?

  • winzentween

    about now lol

  • TapewormBike

    Well, if anything, you outtyped me:) And hey, if anyone is naive on here, you better believe it is me. The one about the precious time was not directed at you, but more or less my brain started telling me to do something productive at that point. About the contributions, I did not donate, but bought some merch via my US relations. So you now know what I am gonna be drinking that antifreeze shot from, one of these days. And listen, as always, any of my “attacks” really should not be taken seriously, though I do enjoy being called asshole quite much. Jessi is very pretty, yes, and that is the last time I am gonna say that, since a member of the opposite sex I live with gets angry at me for spending time on some weird movie site and would probably be even less happy knowing I use that time to praise some other womans beauty. Tapeworm out (That is in. An ass).

  • FIFI APPLETINI

    “Where Did I Come From” was presented to me and my 7TH GRADE SEX EDUCATION CLASS.

  • TapewormBike

    OK, But seriously, Rich stated that he is a virgin, yes. But he also “clearly” sawed his finger off. There is at least one girlfriend confirmed for him (in “How not to make a movie”) and at least one fan who would gay out for him immediately (in front of the computer right now). And I never noticed him missing any adult humour, especially because he is often source of it. Just sayin.

  • LukeMM95

    Yeah, where’s season 6 you hackfrauds!

    No seriously though, that show is hilarious. I showed it to my younger sister (10 years old) and she was both shocked and entranced by it.

  • TapewormBike

    Goodbyeee, cruel world!

  • Daniel Bakke

    33:20 – Jay is about to say “depressing fat women” but stops himself just in the nick of time. But when he suddenly pause and Jessi tries to finish the sentence in her own head, she realizes it’s because he thought she would be offended, and she looks down in shame while he awkwardly lands on “…women”.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “When I grow up I want to hammer a baby.”

  • winzentween

    ok i can liv with that, i just sent RLM some cash which was meant for me, thats how gay i am 4 them lol 😀

  • winzentween

    lol u know i want 2 buy their crap but i know others will so im happier sending them cash until something really epic comes along. :> if u want 2 talk rlm them im always here as i watch everything they do and im not a loon as i have a huge rating and following on my site…….ok i am a loon but i still am a popular loon so i must b doing something right lol

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Argumentum ad populum fallacy. 😉 Haha. Loons are welcome here in the comments, it seems. That’s how I’m still around.

    PS – What’s your webzone? You’ve piqued my interest.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Percy is commenting in jest. No need to make things personal, although I’m curious as to how your schooling went as I’m currently doing the same.

  • TapewormBike

    Someone should really make “Instant Crotch Staring Duck” like, right now. The ones I brought home are misbehaving.

  • TapewormBike

    Oh, how uncanadian of you!

  • TapewormBike

    Yeah that’s right, Im gonna do that for a while now.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    These are videos that fans have sent in.

  • TapewormBike

    That is so much unnecesary information for a child, geez:) Did it have a section on merkins as well?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Sorry.

    I’m just peeved that I’ve lost my Tim’s card.

    I just realized how stereotypical that ‘sorry’ is.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Was it out of your Kampfort zone?

  • winzentween

    oh really, u mean hes having a laugh at someone elses expense, ok, i suppose i get that though its not my thing, though he is funny.
    my course?
    it went well, im dyslexctic which im guessign u can tell lol but i worked hard and got my first and a degree and did my work experience but its who u know and where u go which matters. if u r hot that helps or really skilled. im pretty nice looking and had family who worked in the industry so that helped. my uncle was in star wars and knew lucas so that didnt hurt lol u know that scene with the death star discussion and the guy who gets choked, well my uncle is the guy who speaks to vader which is kinda cool as he was a respected brit actor (till he passed). Personally i am in graphics and have worked
    on stuff like TF2 logo for websites (i know it wasnt the best of the 3) but im proud.

    The trick with with getting on in film or advertising or design is to basically live and breath it, even if you do it from your room but u have 2 saturate and innovate all the time and constantly re-skill and be willing 2 work your ass off 4 free or watch someone ‘less’ do it and get the break 😕

  • TapewormBike

    ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..fuck, there HAS to be a mountie joke to reply with!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    So, hopefully my mother took my advice and bought me the ‘Red Letter Media Movie Triple Pack’ and a ‘Half in the Bag’ t-shirt for Christmas gifts.

    If not, her gift this Christmas is a swift decapitation. 🙂

  • catnep

    Spoiler alert! That cock is a-PAW-ling!

  • TapewormBike

    It required too much concentration.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Anyone notice how the dynamic between Mike and Jay has changed over the course of Half in the Bag? Unless my memory is mistaken, Jay has been steadily becoming more outspoken as they’ve gone on. Before it was Mike that did more of the talking, but now they’re far more even and a few times it seemed like Jay really had more to say than Mike.

    Wait… Perhaps Jay’s beard has awakened his hidden powers!!!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Holocaust.

  • TapewormBike

    Maybe he had a beard transplant from a hairy serial killer and it took over his mind. Or the constant cyber sexual harrassment from men gave him the necessary confidence.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    In reference to which part?

  • TapewormBike

    I never laughed out loud while reading that word before. I hope hell is a nice place.

  • catnep

    Yes. I always thought Jay was the Ed Norton to Mike’s Ralph Kramden. Now it’s all backwards.

  • catnep

    Be a good boy, Norman, sit Mother by the window.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “One of these days… One of these days… POW! Right in the whaaaaaaaaaat?!”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I guess I’m going to have to go the hard work route as currently I don’t know many people aside from local filmmakers. Networking will come in time. I’ve only worked on a few small films but I’ve done a lot of random videos in my spare time with friends for shits. I wouldn’t really say they’re good, but helped me develop a passion for directing and editing. One of the things that most bothers me in a film is when the editing is shoddy. It can make an otherwise good video or film look amateur or bad.

    As for what you’ve told me, that’s actually really cool! I’m glad that hard work [and some luck] have helped you. What sorts of things are you doing currently? If you lurk around here often, you’ll probably run into me often enough [I post quite often].

  • Daniel

    Why was the sneeze so hilarious to me?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Because it’s was fucking hilarious.

    Also, is that Frank?

  • Daniel

    It really was.
    And yeah he’s my best friend 😀

  • Harry Butters

    So does that mean Mike is gonna spend all next episode coughing blood?

  • theDailyMoose

    something similar has been made years ago on 4chan using this video, it`s on the webs

  • TapewormBike

    I will come back to you when I figure it out.

  • Pulp

    For a non-American, the treestand guy’s dialect sounds like an Anti-American racist joke.

  • catnep

    Take my advice… great stocking stuffer for Mom:

    http://gofigureactionfigures.com/media/normanbates.jpg

  • Fartastic

    You probably grew up with that song. They seem to continue where “where did I come from” ended.

    http://www.amazon.com/Anal-Beads-Castrati/dp/B0026I4SV6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1385723448&sr=8-1&keywords=anal+beads+jewb

  • Now I Get It

    You lost me at “swift.”

  • Real Quantum

    Masturbation is wrong when you’re single.
    When you’re married, it’s the only choice.

  • That doesn’t explain why you would want to dress in complete camo except for that bright orange vest. That camo, covered up by the bright orange vest, isn’t fooling the deer. No camo necessary, so why so much camo hunters?

  • Quonk II

    Given their professed love for continuity that doesn’t seem entirely impossible…

  • Ivan

    I think you should only use feature-lengths on the wheel of the worst. You can find all kinds of promo/instructional videos that no one would ever consider watching. Shouldn’t the wheel be things we might actually also want to see? (does not apply to “The Shoji Tabuchi Show!”)

  • Percy Gryce

    As some wise man (Tom Wolfe? Malcolm Muggeridge?) said about contemporary culture, satire is now impossible.

  • Memoman

    Beads!? Rich’s not on board.

  • TapewormBike

    Lets stop making fun of the guy. Maybe we could drink tea together and play a nice game of Nahtzee.

  • Cameron Vale

    “Will you marry me?” (silence)

  • Cameron Vale

    That actually wouldn’t be hard to edit in.

  • Cameron Vale

    It would have just saved itself with its own invaluable safety tips.

  • TapewormBike

    He is more of a “beer being poured on an underaged girl” kinda guy

  • Cameron Vale

    Your friend believes that “it’s bollocks mate” sounds smart and classy?

  • LelouchtheFilial

    And for an American who lives in the Illinois, it sounds like an anti-Southern redneck joke.

  • Cameron Vale

    I’m not exactly a probability pro but that seemed so crazy that I had to be sure, so I tried (1/8) + (7/8 x 1/7) + (7/8 x 6/7 x 1/6); basically adding up the 1/8th probability of getting it on the first try, the 1/7th probability of getting it on the second try given the 7/8ths probability that it didn’t happen on the first try, and the 1/6th probability of getting it on the third try given the combined 7/8ths and 6/7ths probabilities that it didn’t happen in both the first and second tries. But that’s somehow 3/8ths as well. I guess it stands to reason in a way, since if you kept spinning it would logically have to end at 8/8 in eight steps, the first of which is 1/8, so it would be pretty weird otherwise.

  • Cameron Vale

    So you’re a lefty?

  • Cameron Vale

    The Instant Adoring Boyfriend has a really striking resemblance to this guy, I still can’t decide if it’s him.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtXcrElq5jM

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    As a Canadian… oops, sorry. My bad.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Rigthy. I look at the back of my hand to spell Jill, though. She’s got a strong grip for a girl, though.

  • Cameron Vale

    I believe that being totally up front with kids about sex is a good idea. Sexual shame only makes kids more curious about sex, it makes them believe that sex is a sign of maturity, and it prevents them from telling on their molesters for fear of not fitting in. But obviously society disagrees with this idea, which arguably makes it wrong; it certainly makes it difficult.

  • richardwicks

    It’s odd people get upset about hunting, because hunting and killing an animal to eat is far less horrific than raising an animal for slaughter.

    If you are upset about hunting and it’s fine if you are – but quit eating meat – because those animals have much more shitty lives. A deer being shot by a bullet, you might think that is sad, but letting one starve to death or being ripped apart by wolves, that’s a bit worse. But a cow, they live in horrific conditions then they are killed.

  • TapewormBike

    Well, from the point of the animal you may be right, but the thing that irks people (and me) is how happy those people are when taking life of something else (as proved by grandma in the vid). Calling it a sport is also a bit maddening to some. And it is also one more animal, that did not have to die, since millions of those are in the supermarket aisles. I am vegetarian and I get your point was not really trying to defend hunting, just trying to explain the added salt to injury in case of hunting.

  • Now I Get It

    Thanks. I was planning to take in a weekend matinee of “That Cock”, then a couple of midnight screenings of “That Cock” later on. But if you didn’t like “That Cock”, if you thought “That Cock” was, I don’t know, maybe a little gamey, and are sorry you ever saw “That Cock” in the first place, well, then I guess I should give “That Cock” a miss this weekend, too.

    I am so glad you saved me from the disappointment of “That Cock”.

  • Lisa Moore

    My father made me watch “Where Did I Come From?” as a young child. The next day, I went to daycare and called all of my friends “baginas”.

  • catnep

    We be pleasing you with our most of steam award for gracious use of word Cock.

    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/af/Golden_rooster_Awards.gif

  • signa

    What happened to Rich’s finger!?

  • asdffr

    That redhead with the glasses is super hot, you should keep bringing her back

  • richardwicks

    If you are talking about morality with regard to what is being done to somebody or something, the only relevant part of it is from the point of view of the victim.

    And it is also one more animal, that did not have to die, since millions of those are in the supermarket aisles.

    Everything dies. You never save a life, you merely extend it.

    I am vegetarian and I get thst your point was not really trying to defend hunting, just trying to explain the added salt to injury in case of hunting.

    I don’t eat meat either.

    Don’t give any money to HSUS or PETA – they are sham organizations. They do nothing other than beg for money and use that money to beg for more. They run no shelters, support no research into alternatives to animal testing, they are absolutely morally bankrupt.

    HSUS has NOTHING to do with your local humane society. They take well intentioned people, and merely take advantage of them. They are truly despicable.

  • Shouraku

    I had the book version of “Where Did I Come From?” as a child. All I learned was that tickling someone’s stomach gets them pregnant.

  • chameleonstain

    Pah, Muggeridge? He had his cerebrum dripping from his nostrils every-time he opened his mouth.

  • Egan Dunne

    How do you find this shit?

  • Alex Lee

    In this case, 5 year olds don’t really get anything out of sexual education because it doesn’t apply to them physically. They don’t feel sexual attraction so they can’t understand what’s going on when talking about arousal and what is done about it. At this point, it’s just as fantastical as the Stork.

    But I understand that sex should not be seen as inherently shameful or good; it is what it is. It’s just that I think-and I think this is what the panel was getting at- that teenagers need to be of that age to get any use out of that information. Toddlers just aren’t going to get anything out of it.

  • Rob

    I swear I watched ‘Where did I come from’ in primary school in year 6 – it was odd

  • TapewormBike

    “You never save a life, you merely extend it”. You just got a bit too philosophical on me. If I see a child drowning, should I just start whistling and move along? I do not give any money to PETA, since it seems to fund mostly just bitching.

  • Now I Get It

    I need to thank my team at Spell Check, for making me look god. Ha-ha-ha. They’re all here tonight. You see what happens when you take a night off? You guys make it right.

    My friends (and enemies) at Context, who couldn’t be here because they’re still editing, if you can believe it. They do a lot of squabbling – I think “My Cock” was a Shameless idea, right up till Relevance thought to think twice – but if you give them time to work it out, Context really is everything. Thanks for keeping the tone tight.

    There’s a guy, you don’t know him, with a Sharpie, he does all my scars.

    The Hot Sauce combine, for voting this award. I am so honoured, I’ll be crowing about this the rest of the year. Me crow you long time! Long time!

    Oh, and Dingus. Mind the Gap, everyone. This train goes by faster than you think.

  • wishcraft

    It’s not as fantastic as the stork because it’s true. By your logic, kids below 7 shouldn’t be educated about anything whatsoever. Sexuality is obviously a very important aspect of human life. Maybe we could start out by admitting that really we don’t have a rationale behind this kneejerk aversion from bringing together the concepts of childhood and sexuality in whatever way regardless the context. Right or wrong, that would be more mature than what seems to be the current fashion, i.e. “boy, 70s education sure was weird, because it looks weird, because it looks weird.” I mean it’s as if people are really convinced society will collapse in a torrent of pedosexual violence if we start talking to young children about sexuality. But of course the truth is that people are too spooked by today’s reactionary climate to even have a real conviction on the matter, because this would imply having to have consciously thought it through for even a moment, which as we all know makes you a creepy pedo.

  • Alex Lee

    No, you’re not reading what I actually wrote. In the mind of a five year-old, it’s fantasy.

    Don’t strawman me. I’m only referring to sexual issues. Obviously, with math and English, they should be educated because those concepts are abstract and not affected by hormonal differences. .Sexual development is affected by bodily changes that affect the way people think.

  • Ichinisan

    I bought the Plinkett iOS app, which has no commercials. Even though it doesn’t work properly with iOS 7 (orientation is wrong), I just use AirPlay output to Apple TV.

    I do hope they eventually fix the app and give it proper iPad support.

  • Ichinisan

    They do: Purchase the iOS app. I know…not everyone has Apple devices and some people hate Apple. Maybe you should petition them to make it for Android?

    NOTE: The iOS app currently has issues with orientation on iOS 7. I work around it by sending output to Apple TV.

  • richardwicks

    “You never save a life, you merely extend it”. You just got a bit too philosophical on me. If I see a child drowning, should I just start whistling and move along?

    What if I see a stray dog on the steet – should I ignore it and let it starve?

    If I lived in Thailand, I really wouldn’t have a choice.

    If you were in tsunami and saw dozens of kids drowning – should you risk your life to save one if it endangered your life, especially if you had a low probability of pulling the kid out of the water and a high chance of getting yourself killed?

    It all depends on the situation.

  • TapewormBike

    Yes. And if I see bunch of middleschoolers crossing the road, I certainly do not have to put on a special hat,attach spikes to the hood of my car and drive them over. Now, when I decide to do something very similar with a deer running around…..

  • richardwicks

    Do you really think the scenario you describe is similar to going out, hunting an animal, removing it’s entrails, hanging it up on a shed for 3 days, the eating the carcass?

  • TapewormBike

    The point all along was the needlessness of it. And to be honest, you make it sound way worse than I did.

  • TapewormBike

    Let me also point out that two vegetarians arguing with each other about hunting, is probably what really fits the needless category the most.

  • richardwicks

    Well, humans do a lot of needless things – like eat meat.

    Yet white rhino just went extinct, and I don’t think cows are going extinct anytime soon. We have 8 billion people on the planet alive today – that’s needless. Humanity may drive everything to extinction except what it eats and itself, needlessly just so more people can simultaneously exist.

    All you can do is what you can personally do.

  • EXbob

    That sex ed video is the one my class was shown in high school…

  • Michael Owens

    I HAVE to jump in here with some of the other comments and say that “Where Did I Come From” was shown to my class as sophomores in high school. No joke.

    We always referred to it as ‘The Ducky Video’ because we couldn’t remember the title.

  • TapewormBike

    See, that I definitely agree with.

  • Now I Get It

    Yes. And although it’s inevitable that their paths will diverge, from time to time, as each discovers his own strength and devises a way to use it, I believe that their paths will continue to re-cross as in a helix, to create, in the long run, a new foundation, or DNA if you will, for understanding movies.

    http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view5/3941527/dna-o.gif

  • catnep

    Aha! There’s a suspicious lack of pandering humilitude in your speech and I’m calling you on it. Sharpie Guy indeed.

    http://youtu.be/YAVeAbEOpgo

  • LelouchtheFilial

    I think a lot of other people have already pointed this out in the comments, but the Imaginary Boyfriend DID strike me as a serial killer who had a girl bound up on his couch.
    Perhaps he’s the son Mr. Plinkett ISN’T disappointed in.
    “Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back is the greatest thing since my son. And, like my son forcing a bondage slave into matrimony, this movie is an experience that will stay with me… forever.”

  • Now I Get It

    Yeah, where’ve I heard that before: “When the winner is revealed, he is expected to reveal himself — to be reduced to humility or confusion by the great honor done him.” (p. 84, “Oscars”, David Mamet, *Writing in Restaurants*)

    And I would have been, you know, but I had no competition. So, unless that changes, next year’s speech will be for sure about “My Cock”, even if there’s been no movie of “My Cock”, and especially if there’s been no movie of “My Cock”!

    They’ll give it to me, anyway
    just to hear me talk
    talk my talk, and walk my talk
    talk about “My Cock”.

    Where’s your Jesus now, Bieber?!
    Where’s your Scooter Braun?!
    They just up and ran, ‘cuz
    it’s time to meet the band
    Real band, now
    Yeah!

    http://cdn0.sbnation.com/imported_assets/1425377/Animated-GIFs-flight-of-the-conchords-3809604-449-328.gif

  • kyle crane

    OMG I KNOW. Pls Respond.

  • StopThinkingBrainUrGoingToHurt

    What have you done RLM? Because of that sex-ed video Rich Evans now knows how to breed! We mustn’t let him wriggle on a woman while feeling tickled!

  • Garrett Gutierrez

    It was chopped off in the previous best of the worst, dude!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    This makes more sense than the beginning of Prometheus.

  • ident

    Sexual shaming is on a different planet from sexual education. There is no need for a child to understand the mechanics and details of sex to know there is no shame in it. I agree, in an ideal world, there would be no sexual shaming foisted upon children, but between religion and assholes, sexual shame is here forever.

  • Matt Bahr

    Your Arrested Development reference is not lost on me.

  • Matt Bahr

    Your parents made you watch “Incredible Instant Adoring Boyfriend”?!

  • Now I Get It

    RLM will have a more sensible ending, too, that will take much, much longer to get to.

  • Dave Schmave

    I bought a bunch of bargain bin tapes from Blockbuster a few years ago and Where Did I Come From was in it. Definitely a great watch when drinking.

    I would like to make a recommendation for future Best Of The Worst. BEEZBO! The story of an alien that crash lands on Earth and needs to learn manners.

  • Memoman

    Why thank you! You seem to be alone in this.

  • Khyron

    Ok, I dont if this was commented on before but … why the first spin took by Rich Evans on the wheel is not counted? The rules clearly state :

    (…)”The will is spun three times
    Each spin selects a video at random for the group to watch” (…)

    Even if Jay stopped the wheel, it was still a valid spin and as far I can tell it was stopped randomly.
    You guys are playing with fire here! What if that landed on the Shoji Tabuchi?
    I mean cmon lets get real on this stuff

  • Vinny

    Still really wanna see that Dunkin Donuts video…have it on the wheel again guys!

  • Fred Fredders

    I don’t think I’ve ever laughed harder at a sneeze.

  • VAG AND DICKS… REDLETTERMEDIA! 😀 LOL XD

  • ME TOOOOOOOOOO

  • Now I Get It

    I just heard about what happened and I’m sorry. I guess the night I won, Relevance went straight home from editing but Shameless went to the after-party and got drunk, then expressed some “discernible ambition” about cock, or something, which I did NOT authorise.

    And about that you should know that Spell Check is innocent. I mean, those guys are great at putting letters together but, confidentially, they never know what the words are for. But everyone else, I’ve sacked.

    I have kept Spell Check on payroll but I’d appreciate it if I could leave my keys with you, as a precaution, till I’ve re-staffed and, uhm . . . sat again for the real Sharpie Guy.

    http://www.theawl.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/typewriterkeys1-e1351695701824.jpg

    Thanks.

  • Richard Conquerer

    That’s a lot of remotes

  • I was intruiged by the Incredible Instant Adoring Boyfriend, so I Googled it. Turns out Fox News did an article on it.

    The article sounds about as weird as the video. There’s too much to post, but it’s at http://www.foxnews.com/story/2003/04/25/perfect-man-exists-mdash-on-video/.

    Suffice to say it was made by some British outfit, it’s supposedly aimed at lonely women, but they specifically say that it’s “tongue-in-cheek.” The tone of the article takes it seriously: it’s an examination of the concept of the “virtual boyfriend.”

    Very schizophrenic. Sounds like the video. Thanks again for watching it so that I need never be burdened. 😉

  • Percy Gryce

    Why so angry at St. Mugg? Whether or not you like his later turn to religion (I do), he was absolutely correct about the criminality of the Soviet Union in the 1930s, particularly about the politically imposed terror famine in Ukraine.

  • Hank

    Wow, so Blip says “sorry we are unable to play this video” . . .

    Is that because of some sort of child block because of the nudity? You know, the nudity in the sex education film…for children…

    Irony?

  • Drain

    Why did they censor the boobs and not the man’s dick? That right there is probably why the episode is now down. You can’t have dicks in blip videos either, you know that right guys? But I wish people would just use a video service that had no censorship or content restrictions. Then you could show whatever the fuck you wanted. It’s like how the Cinema Snob has to block box content in every episode. Just use a service that doesn’t restrict adult content. Problem solved?

  • Drain

    YT and Blip are stupid like that. They showed a man’s cartoon dick in the video; don’t know why because it’s against Blip’s rules. You can’t have any kind of nudity. No surprise the episode is now down.

  • Gerhard Van der Berg

    That is what the normal Best of the Worst are for, From the beginning it has been explained that the Wheel of the Worst is for the weird (mostly educational specials) VHS tapes they received from viewers that are not really movies.

  • Matt Denney

    I live in Australia, in grade 8 (first year of high school, age 13) we had to watch ‘Where Did I Come From?’ in our HRE (Human Relations Education) class. It was a great experience.

  • Thomas Manson

    Dude, did Rich Evans lose a finger?

  • Thomas Manson

    Vimeo allows nudity as long as it’s not presented in a sexual/erotic way.
    Actually, YouTube does too. You can find pap smear and breast exam videos!
    Don’t ask me how I know this.

  • TapewormBike

    Showbiz Pizza Bear got his pound of flesh.

  • Thomas Manson

    That’s racist!

  • Maverique

    It just comes out of nowhere and is so awkwardly edited on purpose, it’s awesome.

  • proghead777
  • diehounderdoggen

    Wait, was the ‘cunt’ at around 9:30 censored before it got taken down?

  • catnep

    Your new speech writer has asked to be shown only in silhouette. He has a bit of a bad rap on Earth.

    https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-0DHNq1G-Lfw/UR02CgjPYzI/AAAAAAAAL-0/PnHd3zyaNsI/w497-h373/Vogon_Poetry.jpg

  • Alex Lee

    Somewhere out there, there is a man furiously masturbating to a pap smear.

  • TapewormBike

    Yes. And I love that his surname is Manson.

  • Daniel Ashe

    I actually saw “Where did I come from?” when I was about six years old. My parents were rushing me in the video store and I just grabbed a cartoon off the shelf. I was too embarassed to tell my parents I didn’t really mean to grab this video and it was fucking horrifying.

  • TapewormBike

    It’s like finding out how hot dogs are made. Except the bun is also meaty and you don’t put as much ketchup on it.

  • Now I Get It

    Jeltz?! That bastard! On his CV, he claimed he was Lewis Carroll. He smelt like he’d been dead for nearly 116 years and so did his poem, so, I believed him. “Jabberwocky”, my ass.

    This re-staff might take some time, so, while I continue to play headhunter please be a lamb and fire Jeltz for me – preferably out of an airlock.

    It shouldn’t be difficult. Just seduce him, then in the afterglow point him to it as a quiet, comfortable, and, above all, safe remove from which to worship his new muse. Then blast his hideous Vogon guts into deepest space and have the whole situation de-fumed. Thanks so much.

    I’ll reappear some time in the new year, when I return for my keys. Till then, have a merry-merry and a happy-happy, with much luv and many warm biscuits.

    http://gifs.gifmania.hk/Animated-Gifs-Comics/Animations-Calvin-Hobbes/Images-Calvin-Snow/calvin-hobbes4.gif

  • wishcraft

    It’s actually abstract notions which are harder to grasp for children. But ok, I will humor you, since obviously what you’re reaching for is that a child couldn’t grasp sexuality because it involves types of mental states of which we only have a very abstract understanding, such as all the affections involved in sexual attitudes.
    But that isn’t really what it useful for kids to be taught about concerning sexuality anyways. It’s basically just a lesson in human biology, ok? A very important one, obviously, as sexuality is such a crucial part of human nature. And these revolve around biological phenomena which are really just as concrete and objective as the way in which a caterpillar turns into a butterfly or what the symbiosis between flowers and bees is. You can explain this to children and they will grasp it because it’s simply explaining how physical human behaviour makes two bodies produce another body. It’s just simple biology, what could be more straightforward than that? Sorry, I really cant help but feel like the taboo around confronting children with sexual phenomena is simply keeping you from seeing what’s in front of your nose here.
    And you know what? Children actually can grasp the more abstract side of sexuality, the sociology and psychology of sexuality. Because actually, very young children already have very definite sexual attitudes. That doesn’t mean it isn’t very harmful to cross certain boundaries with them obviously. But they can understand to some extend perfectly that, for instance, the motivations people have to have sex involve a kind of glee in doing things to each other that will provoke profound affective responses, that there is a kind of system of sexual metaphores people use, and so on. We know this because children will often express such things in child’s play, e.g. “playing doctor”, as the euphemism goes. A lot of this idea of the absolute sexual naievity of the child is just a myth our culture depends on for it’s particular social order.

  • catnep

    Ew, seduction! QUITE impossible. So we dressed him up as a Christmas pudding and flushed him out of the goddamn airlock! Merry Sithmas, see you next year!

    http://blogs.houstonpress.com/rocks/christmas-star-wars.jpg

  • Drain

    His name is Rich Evans.

  • WolfHandFrogHand

    No star wipe?
    I want some steak, and you guys are only giving me hamburger.

  • ronin122

    @ 3:40 awkward, methinks Jay finally figured out why Mike drives such an expensive car.

  • marko112kg

    I love the look mike’s girlfriend gives him when he doesn’t cringe at the deer being killed
    “Cringe, damn you, cringe”

  • calvin6337

    oh my god Instant adoring Boyfriend is like the short story The Lady Or The Tiger by Frank Stockon…. It depends on you whether the video is a prank or if it is real

  • Cole Christie

    okay,now i know the “IAB” is meant to be a joke. because he just happens to talk about Female nudity in the media and how Degrading it is while he’s in just his towel !

    either that or they just didn’t care

  • Jonah Falcon

    “Relatives of Napoleon Dynamite”. hee hee

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    This is what happens when Midas masturbated.

  • Cameron Vale

    I don’t see how kids could fail to think of sex as shameful if their sex questions are answered evasively, regardless of whether they’re told otherwise. Kids learn by example.

  • ident

    Well, it may depend on the manner of the evasion, but I think it has more to do with the culture (assuming the child is not abused or kept in a box or something). There are plenty of things we aren’t told about as children that we come to enjoy as adults. Drugs, Shakespeare, Black Sabbath, blowjobs, margaritas, irony, etc.

  • Wild Zero

    Seriously funny as always, gang, but not enough diversity in the childhood education discussion (Where Did I Come From?). Maybe the content of the video was a bit too much of a dovetail.

  • Syl von Braun

    Actually this sexeducation movie was shown in my childhood (1995) at school when I was in third or fourth grade. It was pretty hilarious and entertaining and not so ankward at all, maybe because our teacher did explained us what we are going to watch.
    It’s a typical opinion of an adult to find this kind of film strange or confusing, especially when kids are involved.
    Greetings from Germany

  • Pissernacht

    I love how Mike has more of a reaction to the Baby in the Burger than he does to the deer getting shot…

  • Flossy

    I hate to be this asshole but the reason he wore a vest with camo is because deer can not see that shade of orange which is why hunters use it. so it doesn’t really matter that he is wearing camo with it

  • KarmikCykle

    With the bandaged hand, Rich reminds me a lot of the Penguin from Batman when he laughs.

  • Kyle

    For those of you making Rich Evans laugh compilations, don’t forget his response to Mike saying the guy sounds like Elmer Fudd.

  • Kyle

    I kept thinking tree stand meant you do a handstand on a tree. The cover looked like the guy was grabbing a branch with his hands.

  • Kyle

    Just do a search. Strangely enough, I’ve watched that video before while working on my British accent. Gareth Jameson is great.

  • Kyle

    I’m certain that’s not him. Looks different, sounds different.

  • Logan Smith

    Those were some nice points on them bucks.

  • roaroar roarar

    is it just me or does Where Did I Come From?’s animation look like it was done by Seth MacFarlane?

  • Jason

    Eat it with your mouth.

  • TheTapeSaver

    Your VCR needs to be cleaned lol

  • staphinfection

    Speaking of anal beads…

  • SkaMP

    Mike, this has some good editing.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    I give this the Blue Ribbon for the best of the Worst of the Best of the Wheel so far! (Not least of all because of the innuendo about Mike’s penis…)

  • Cassidy Fitzgerald Liston

    lol, Fire extinguisher fumes are suuuuuper toxic, Mike! What were you thinking!!

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Yea, I took it as some kind of arborial acrobatics for hunters when I first saw it.
    I’m let down on so many levels…

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    The two cartoons humping as a proxy for your parents, and the perverted duck still are pretty odd…

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    I remember seeing some kind of perfect-boyfriend product in book form years ago, and it had just the same kind of pandering one-sided dialogue in it. I assume “Instant Adoring Boyfriend” is a gag-gift in exactly the same vein. To my mind, this kind of product is just a tongue-in-cheek item for women to consume (in full awareness) when they need to let off some steam about their frustrations over men. I don’t think anyone would ever take it as seriously as you guys were speculating. The kind of things the boyfriend-objects say in these would resonate more for middle-adult women who are in or have been in relationships and suffered irritation, rather than for the chronically lonely and alone covered in felines.

  • Bhazor

    Well how about I slap those tits?

  • Wasp

    I actually had the misfortune of having to watch ‘Where Did I Come From?’. During my High School education, no less. It was incredibly awkward.

  • Lumm0x

    yeah, 100% agreed

  • Lumm0x

    Kinda late to the party here, but where does the “Rich burned down his grandmothers house whilst frying” come from? Saw it in the last wheel of the worst as well. Curious to know the origins…

  • Alex Lee

    It was the first Wheel of the Worst. It’s the episode where they’re watching Be Cool about Fire Safety.

  • Alex Lee

    I sure hope so. It would be so terrible otherwise.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Where Did I Come From is an animated adaptation of a children book. I remember that book from when I was a kid in the mid-to-late 80s.

  • Lat

    The camo is just to break up the hunter’s silhouette. Or at least as much as possible, anyway.

  • Malevolence

    Every time Care Boars show up I feel like killing… @_@) kill…….

  • dreadlord

    Tree Stand Safety reminded me of this: http://youtu.be/g-hz1GpFpXA

    The best work safety video ever

  • Robby

    If you’re covered in felines wouldn’t that mean you’re not alone? Check your facts!

    Unsubscribed.

  • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

    Noooo, my last subscriber! ;_;

  • EmperorOfMankind

    Care Boars, what is that?

  • Red Skeleton (Yes. AGAIN.)

    What happened to Travelling alone in America, and Diabetes: A positive approach? I owned the book Where did I come from was based on. It was OK, though it never got into the mechanics of sex beyond “penis goes in vagina and sperm comes out”. WHAT is up with the visual metaphors?? Ther was certainly nothing like that. After doing some research I discovered Amasing Adoring Boyfriend was made by a company that specialises in novelty items and gifts, so…. gag gift is almost certainly the right interpretation. Especially considering how front-loaded it is. I think this WotW offers a great insight into what it’s like to be in a relationship with Jesse Nankles. She’s confident, not afraid to show a little skin, and looks amazing when she drinks a beer. On the other hand she’s bitchy (“This isn’t spending time with me”), fussy about housework (“No one. Irons. A JEAN SKIRT!”), puts her men in their place (“Let me finish [talking]”), and a misandronist (“That’s usually when guys stop caring anyway”).

  • Red Skeleton (Yes. AGAIN.)

    I had it.

  • Red Skeleton (Yes. AGAIN.)

    Wait, HIGH school? I wouldn’t show this past Elementary schoolers.

  • In the back of my mind, ‘Incredible Instant Adoring Boyfriend’ seems to be comparative to this show, but I chose to supress those feelings.

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Andrew Thompson.

    so did i.

  • Illusive Man

    I think that “boring boyfriend” video is intended as in instructional video for men, telling us “how to talk to our girlfriends”, like Cosmo for men. Still a pile of horse shit, but I don’t think it’s intended as a replacement for a dude, or even a gag gift.

  • Kyle
  • Luciferno

    I came here from a reccommnedation based on watching a bunch of these from Cinema Snob’s DVD-R Hell bit, but that line from the redhead (and then she goes one more day without killing herself) was so blunt and dark I chocked on my drink. That was perfect 😀

  • Andrew Dickman

    These things shot on video are slowly killing everyone at RLM

  • Noah R.

    I know right.

  • Ric

    “How to talk to your girlfriend to GUARANTEE she leaves you for her boss who isn’t a effeminate pushover”

  • They should’ve already showed it’s follow-up sequel “What’s Happening to Me?” by then. That one deals with puberty basically, though I suppose that’s more for middle school/junior high showings.

  • I’m sure it is a sticking point for some. I think the Aussie guys did a fine job making this work at all. Apparently America had two separate versions of this tape, one that came out in ’85 that had a female narrator, and another a decade later that was narrated by Howie Mandel, who got to improv a little.

  • Be thankful the nasty happens underneath the covers.

  • Just learning how animals are slaughtered for our eating enjoyment in the 3rd grade is enough to put some kids off of ever eating meat again it seems.

  • In that regard, the nudity is at least tasteful here, no arousals or stimulating moments (unlike it’s sequel that does bother to show off a few horny teens).

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  • frankelee

    Do they not have Spencer’s Gifts in Milwaukee? Because that conversation sounded like it was by aliens who haven’t ever been to a mall.

  • Variant

    The school I went to was so short on budget as I was growing up, that the classic 70s style aging films you think of when referring to the type of thing that say – “Look Around You” parodies. “Where Did I Come From” was actually, sadly, a part of my sex education. I think they showed it to us when I was like 12ish? I even recall though it being forewarned that it was “dated” and “meant for younger kids”. But thinking about it showing it to anyone younger than I was would have been inappropriate.

  • Mike Schwartz

    This episode reminds me why keeping the unselected videos on the wheel for the next episode is a great idea.

  • Recreational Outrage

    “I want that juicy Shaq meat!”

  • EJ

    Holy crap I was just about to post that I’d seen “Where Did I Come From” in sex ed when I was a wee one. I’d blocked it out until now due to trauma.

  • Quacks Dashing

    You where lucky, in grade one i was treated to the birth video, very explicit very gratuitous. And it was NOT a cartoon.

  • Matthew Crane

    I dunno, he looked/sounded a lot more like film brain to me.

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