Best of the Worst: Wheel of the Worst #12

July 9, 2016218 Comments

The Canadians are back! And what better way to welcome them to the US than by subjecting them to painful, outdated VHS tapes?


Filed in: Best of the Worst

  • Variant

    My body is ready.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Damn, those dumb hivemind peeples on that other site are missing out on these comments right now.

  • fred

    Oh shit there’s only three comments. Think of something clever uh uhhhh —

  • Jean-François Martel

    Damn Canadians, i’m a better canadian than them… I’m a French Canadian

  • Niels Hansen

    Great – needed a new Wheel of the Worst fix 🙂

  • Jean-François Martel

    So i have had this dream twice now where i end up watching movies with Mike and Jay and there is a lot of tension during because we don’t get along at all, they hate my guts and i hate them too in the dream… What does it mean?

  • Jean-François Martel

    holy shit! i just noticed Jessi is still in the intro! I miss her.

  • yellowface

    What’s with these frequent uploads? Nobody asked you to put up more videos, you fucking hacks. Cut it out, now.

  • Drop yer linen and start your spinnin’ cus I have not got such good news since our good Lord snuffed out that wife beatin’, coke sniffing, egomaniac David Bowie.

    Seeeweeeeeeet. Yiieehaaaw!

  • Paul Pantea

    I know this is an old joke now, but I’ve had issues with depression for the past 6, 7 years, and I’ve been following you guys since you’ve started doing Half in the Bag. And for some pathetic reason, I really feel like having some good friends over every time you post a new video, and it lifts my spirits up a little 🙂

  • Krando

    I am Canadian. Sorry.

  • Onevok

    Jessi probably mentioned Flat Earth and got booted by Mike and Rich

  • I’m starting to think Mike has a drinking problem…

  • Americans hate Canadians but the world hates Americans. In my view you win!

  • It’s just his form of oxygen.

  • Krando

    Okay. Sorry.

  • Don’t apologiz… oh yea Canadian. My mistake.

  • The Narrator

    These clockwork Best of the Worst uploads are pretty much the only thing making this year worthwhile, so keep it up, you fucking frauds!

  • Lisa

    American Girls has been doing the same creepy twin doll thing for a long time. I’m guessing My Twinn was trying to catch some of that market. So don’t worry moms, you can still get a creepy doppelganger for your daughter!

  • Bart Crowe

    Love me a good Wheel of the Worst! Nothing better to watch on a lazy Saturday afternoon either.

  • OMNI

    I don’t know. What does it mean when Max Landis shows up in your dream….?

  • OMNI

    RLM has been making me depressed lately

  • Classic Stoklasa dead guy jokes! Ah! A+

  • Krando

    I’m moving from Toronto (a shining beacon of hope) to a small midwestern town in the US and am kind of worried. Should I buy a 9mm or a semi-automatic to defend myself? Thanks for your help.

    Sorry.

  • An Uzi is good for busting gangmembers, 9mm for elderly and a sniper rifle from a high vantage point is good against cops.

    #toosoon

  • WrongWithYourFace

    My friends aren’t being helpful: Can someone with a smarty phone please confirm if that Siri massage app is for realz?

  • Alexandria Sanders

    Aw, no destruction of video.

  • Variant

    The editing is getting bizzarely abstract though, I think I approve of that at least.

  • jmt

    Couple of points:

    – A My Twinn would be an excellent parenting tool. You could get one for your kid and then tell her/him that it carries their soul. When they’re bad you cut off a limb and say, “Now you won’t have an arm in heaven.” Guaranteed to keep the kid in line;
    – Jim’s SETI shirt made me think we were going to get SciFi but but we didn’t;
    – Your countdown during the pre-spin telegraphed that the wheel was going to land on the magic video. This along with the previous point makes this WoTW the most hack-fraudulent ever; and
    – I think I’d like a handy from Ms Udderly. That look of contempt on Roseanne’s face is just the thing that makes for a perfect finish.

  • Domo

    I wonder if they have a MyTwinn for the Eraserhead baby.

    No hair. No eyelashes. No posable body parts. Grey skin tone. Simple bandage for clothes. Cheapest doll they’d ever make.

  • Variant

    Were you hoping that by voting everyone up on this page you could make up for it?

  • Jay has creepy ideas.

    #neverchange

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    You frauds have had months and months to make it and do everything but. Give us more Pre Rec you hack frauds, it’s what built this empire of dirt!

  • Jean-François Martel

    it hasn’t happened… yet

  • Charon

    #youtubedrama #SOBUSTED!

  • Palpatine

    Canadian’s are awesome.

  • Jean-François Martel

    did Mike die mid-video?

  • yellowface

    If you undress it to bathe it, it gets disemboweled.

  • What’s that stuff coming from behind your curtains. Is it daylight? Bleh!

  • cucadandi

    Someone put Mike out of his misery already.

  • yellowface

    12:15 Original score by Trent Reznor.

  • Groundloop

    Soooo, half Canadian?

  • cucadandi

    Look at Jay trying to establish himself as the Alpha of the group with that fresh hair cut. He looks like a bearded Ice Man from Top Gun. Holy fuck now I got myself all hot and bothered.

  • I would like to pitch a show entitled Rich Evans – Asshole Skeptic, where Rich Evans crashes children’s birthday parties and loudly debunks the magic shows put on by the hired magician.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    He didn’t die, he just took off and went to the nearest Betty Ford Clinic.

  • Jean-François Martel

    oh look, Jay died too! and Rich took Mike’s identity… Rich killed them for some sort of money related fraud.

  • Jean-François Martel

    more like Ultrès Canadien!

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    Mike’s a twin I think, I wonder what he thought about the creepy twin shit. I could be wrong though.

  • Archfriend

    A 9mm is a semi-automatic.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Well, clearly you’re a gun nut so could you please answer the fucking question?

  • Jean-François Martel

    you should get a tank

  • The Narrator

    I was waiting for the credit saying that this episode was guest-directed by Nicolas Roeg.

  • The Narrator

    Max Landis only appears in your dreams when you chug five Red Bulls and then jerk off right before bed.

  • Glyph Wright

    I thought the video box said MY TYWIN for a second, got really excited.

  • Palpatine

    Well, they made the magic trick video disappear, so I guess that counts.

  • ZeroPtZero

    The “Happy Happy Halloween” song is the only good thing to come out of Halloween III

  • Rick_Berman

    Well done Gentlemen, I was hyped for this show for some reason. Pro tip move the letters up a bit so its not B OT W

  • OMNI

    It happened to me. He was eeeevill…

  • OMNI

    Who is Jack. He went to clown school.

  • LincolnHawksBaseballCap

    I got me a 357, got me a truck load full of shotguns, 3 big boar battle rifles and ammo on the ass, and I ain’t safe, I can’t protect myself!

  • Mr_Show

    Yay!

  • Adam Baldwin

    Is that “child taxidermy” as in “the child does taxidermy,” or “the taxidermy of children?”

  • Hilary Manfat

    True story. Gary Busey once snorted cocaine off his dog.

  • Hilary Manfat

    I’ve found that the rubber pencil trick works brilliantly on my erect penis. I just shake it vigorously until it goes all soft and rubbery.

  • LameSame

    Does anybody else reckon Mike got too drunk for the table discussion, hence his inclusion in the wheel spin/viewing but absence in the latter parts? I mean, he WAS swigging some serious Maker’s Mark, there.

  • LameSame

    “I have no idea what’s going on.” -Mike, this episode
    Source: 37:30 mark

  • RLMkeepitup

    Yes, that ^

  • RLMkeepitup

    gary busey facts #scary

  • Thanatos

    Good to finally find out that Jim and Collin are just figments of Mike’s drunken imagination.

    Everything finally makes sense.

  • Thanatos

    Two of the lights in the O are already busted

  • Palpatine

    He most likely passed out on the couch prior to the table discussion.

  • Rosemary

    OK, Jay. I’m converted. Since you were so kind as to regrow your sideburns for the last few minutes of this video, I now fully endorse the new ‘do.

  • jmt

    When I ask Siri for a massage, she produces a list of nearby Thai brothels.

  • Chris Cheape

    Borderline experimental

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Do u want movies in 7 minutes at 1:30am the manhole will have ‘made in the u.s.a.’ which was made in the usa in 1987. Be there!

  • At 48:49 in the video, another light in the O goes out near the top.

  • LameSame

    He made his consciousness… disappear!

  • CarSVernon

    does mike have one foot out the door out of this thing or what

  • Alexandria Sanders

    Wait, there was a number on the video tape. No rich evan’s prank call?!

  • SUPERMAD

    After the enjoyable intro (which i always adore) I found this to be very unfunny and uninteresting until the Video Toaster part. Then it got a little better. The Canadian guys are OK, but the jokes surrounding the first two videos were boring. I did not join in their laughter.

  • bleurgh

    So what are the theories as to why Jay disappeared at the end of the episode?

  • infernocanuck

    You Vulcans can never be pleased….

  • Markham

    Josh simply walked to the table and absorbed Jay back into his body.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Josh and Jay have always been the same person. It’s the glasses. Like Superman/Clark.

    I mean, they have the exact same build for christsake! How can I be the only one that noticed this?

  • Joe Syxpac

    First thing you gotta learn is no real American only has one gun.

    Go to the gun store and buy one of everything. You should be good.

  • Strelnikov

    He’s the last of the Drinking Stoklasas!

  • Joe Syxpac

    Not to be a snob about it or anything…. but 9mm is just a measurement.

    .38 S&W, .38 Special, 357 Magnum, .380 ACP, 9mm Parabellum/Luger, 9mm Makarov, .38 Super, .357 Sig, etc are all 9mm in diameter.

  • Strelnikov

    You can find a page for Ms. Udderly’s tape on Amazon, but none are on sale. Unlike the creepy dead grief clown, I can’t find anything on the creepy ventriloquist and her Satanic cow puppet. Meanwhile, Doug “What’s wrong with your HAAAIIR?” Anderson is still doing magic as a “corporate entertainer.”

  • Firsty Lasty

    yes.

  • Firsty Lasty

    There is a vibrator app. I suppose you could use that for neck massages.

  • Firsty Lasty

    yep. that.

  • Firsty Lasty

    Some fun and nice surrealism but meh out of 5 stars.

  • Archfriend

    Thought so. Goes to show I’m not really a gun nut!

  • Firsty Lasty

    He went to Jessie’s home planet to bring her back.

  • Red Skeleton

    I like the part where the Canadian was like “I hate to be mean, but…” and then made a comment none of the American cast members would even blink at.

  • Firsty Lasty

    Hello Mr Skelington.

  • Welcome Back Otter

    Do you also repeatedly bang it into your forehead like Doug Anderson?

  • This episode was pretty miserable, the episode would have sufficed at 20-25 minutes because there just wasn’t enough material. I do have to say that when I google “massage with Siri” I get completely different results than Colin.

  • Slograman

    Nice “Wow!” signal shirt, Jim. It’s funny because Jim is an alien in the United States. Very wow.

  • Glyph Wright

    RLM enjoyed themselves way more than the audience did.

  • spynet315

    What is that shirt that Jim is wearing? I want one!

  • LameSame

    I dunno, was annoying myself quite a lot

  • Ubik

    I want the “Ghostbasterds” review, hack frauds! Not this self-indulgent filler.

  • HeftyJo

    I don’t know where you can get the shirt. But it’s a graphic of the handwritten exclamation a researcher wrote while reviewing a printout of a radio signal from space, believing it was a possible sign of extraterrestrial intelligence.

  • spynet315

    Now I want one even more!!

  • infernocanuck

    You know, if they killed the “Wheel of the Worst” segment of “Best of the Worst” I wouldn’t miss it.

  • Strelnikov

    Frakkin movie isn’t out yet!

  • Strelnikov

    I actually like the train-wreck videos they review, but then I remember when mom-and-pop video stores had sections for low-renting crap like fitness and educational videos.

  • OMNI

    It is “out”. It opened in the UK first. It has a 76% on rotten tomatoes

  • OMNI

    I think that George Takai being upset about Sulu being gay is classic. Fucking Hollyweird…

  • OMNI

    He’s from Krypton

  • OMNI

    It’s fake. The color is too dark for Makers Mark. Nice try though.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Is it weird that there’s more diversity amongst the dolls than the RLM staff?

  • OMNI

    Right? There isn’t even a token black guy.

  • Mark Bisone

    This episode was almost the best beer commercial I’ve ever seen, except for this one this one.

  • Mark Bisone

    #BlackFraudsMatter

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Maybe we’ve all thought it but never said it but why haven’t RLM done a “Beer of the Worst”?

  • Mark Bisone

    I particularly loved the Anti-Christian theme of this episode. Canadian animators and beery, incoherent Midwestern hipsters have always been my go-to guys for metaphysics. Can’t wait for that Richevans thesis on the Nippon Kaigi cult, punctuated by Seamless orders for Shaq Meat.

  • Commander X

    I never saw that My Twinn video but years ago, back in the day it was one of the many “exhibits” at the sadly now long-defunct site Portal of Evil – and it was there somebody posted about how MyTwinn offically declared bankruptcy in 2004. Ah, memories.

  • Strelnikov

    Well it isn’t out in Milwaukee for another four or five days, so cool your jets.

  • Malevolence

    Too cold for non caucasians

  • Malevolence

    Would be fun to fill one of those dolls with hamburger meat, stand on a bridge overlooking traffic and dropping them… oh the gay times to be had!!!

  • OMNI

    It’s not my “jets” that need cooling. Do some research before posting false information.

  • OMNI

    This was an entertaining WOTW. Chuckles upon chuckles.

  • OMNI

    I realized it’s more fun to watch RLM watch movies than it is to hear what they have to say about them, most of the time…

  • OMNI

    It seems Mike has one foot out the door at RLM and one foot in the nuthouse…

  • OMNI

    Their doing some David Lynch kind of shenanigans.

  • OMNI

    That was bugging me the whole time

  • OMNI

    I liked it. Good moopie.

  • Thanatos

    Then we wouldn’t hear Mike’s “torture device for the modern age” intro, and that’s not a world I want to live in.

  • Red Skeleton

    hi

  • Catherine Dassy

    Why did Mike call the guy “Max Landis”?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I mean, I wouldn’t necessarily recommend using your phone as a vibrator, although it’s not like I haven’t done it.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    I’d rather watch the new Ghostbusters than this you frauds. 2/100 wud not bang.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Exploding Varmints was maybe two episodes ago.

  • Lt Hurwitz

    Mike liked ID4 2: Resurvengence, and Jurassic Park World…he’s going to give Ghostbusters a positive review and destroy the internet.

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    It’s a refreshing relief when there’s no rape on BOTW.

  • fred

    Why are we is our DNA 100% alien if we’re also 99% similar to chimpanzees.

  • Ren1

    Classic line-up equals classic WOTW.

  • Robotpals

    The lesson here: don’t let Jay edit a BOTW so soon after a retrospective re:VIEW of Eraserhead.

  • Robotpals

    Hm. I think it’s the best Halloween movie other than the 1st one. I wish they’d stuck with the anthological premise.

  • Ogrot

    All of Mike’s friends on Half in the Bag and Best of the Worst, being figments of an alcohol addled brain is the official canon of the HitB/BotW expanded cinematic multiverse.

  • Robotpals

    Ah, the Consumers Guide to Meat. I rented that more than once.

  • moron

    I laughed heartily at this video. My favorite laugh was probably when Rich was describing what Vulcan alphabet learning is probably like. The next number you will be learning is 4. It is the 4th number. End of lesson.

  • Ren1

    Jim almost made me spit-take with the salt shaker penis comment.

  • LameSame

    Okay… thanks for setting me straight, Mike.

  • Percy Gryce

    Fuck you.

  • Percy Gryce

    You magnificent bastard–you figured out how to post a link. You’re always one step ahead of the rest of us poor schmucks.

  • Percy Gryce

    No Percy Gryce vids this ep. Truly an era has passed.

    [Link to YouTube video of sad bugle playing taps.]

  • Mark Bisone

    It’s all in the wrist.

  • Percy Gryce

    You give Jay a handy and he lets your links through?

  • Mark Bisone
  • Mark Bisone

    I keep hearing this outta you. So go ahead and show us your full ass, Gryce; post a list of every shitty, garage-sale video you’ve contributed to the show over the years. Full transparency. The people have a right to know!

  • Mark Bisone

    While Gryce is consulting his Palm Pilot V, I must say that I enjoyed the Russian nesting dolls aspect of the Twinns pitch. If I was their CEO, I’d’ve suggested they go a stage further and have the tiniest doll holding a whiskey sour.

  • There is child murder and body mutilation, so it evens out.

  • Schlitz almost sounds like a fake brand name.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I would like to see the mountain of swag RLM has received. Like a pyramid with the base being nukie tapes

  • Would you say, you felt instant relief?

  • B A N N E D !

  • DanceOfBirther

    You could a call it a nukielear pile. *rimshot*

  • Cakefarts

    What about the Cow?

  • Wolvy

    *Spoiler* It’s a cook book!

  • Wolvy

    At midnight he turns back into a pumpkin.

  • Catherine Dassy

    Yeah, that I wanna know as well. Now it’s two things I’m losing sleep over.

  • Bubs

    There was a shot in the last best of the worst (when they’re trashing the viewing room) and you can see a whole shelf full of misbegotten bullshit. If that’s what they decided was worth keeping, I can only imagine the stuff they decided to throw away!

  • Bubs

    crushing disappointment*

    No wait… you were right the first time.

  • cucadandi

    Does the RLM trio Mike, Jay and Rich Evans constitute the easiest ever FMK question? I think it does.

  • The pyramid you are referring to is probably more aptly compared to a landfill.

  • RLMkeepitup

    the magician part reminded me of Venkman’s card scene from ghostbusters, where he’s trying to get a date out of it. maybe this guy went to the bar like that hypnotist guy and approached a girl who always wanted to learn magic… I’m a magician, I’ll make your virginity disappear!

  • Percy Gryce

    I do have such a list in Google Docs. If there were a way that I could link to it without doxxing myself, I’d do it.

  • fred

    What was the black goo.

  • mister man

    Obviously kill Rich Evans

  • Catherine Dassy

    OK, three. But that’s all I can handle.

  • Dan

    Haha, YouTube drama and the cuts of the ventriloquist with the creepy music, good times.
    What if the cow was actually the ventriloquist, that could also explain her face shutting off whenever the cow was talking.

  • TMC_Sherpa

    Are they still watering Makers down or did they fix their ‘oak barrel supply and totally not a monetary decision’ problem?

  • Joe

    Great video. I’m surprised nobody commented on the main thing I thought about when watching the “My Twinn” video:

    Imagine getting one of those and then still having it like 10-15 year later. There is something creepy/tragic/poetic about a person sitting in a room dealing with the crises of their life as they are watched by a 8 year old doll version of themselves.

  • This comes right after the “Eraserhead” episode and Jay is the one editing.

  • bleurgh

    RIP Lou Vega. You’re mamboing number 5 in heaven now.

  • goodmatt 10

    Gotta say, don’t think the “My Twin” thing is all that creepy, seems like a neat idea.

  • Spoiled Ants

    It’s his Groundhog Day. He’s not allowed to leave this loop, spinning the wheel for all eternity.

  • Spoiled Ants

    Check out the video of Bill Burr giving gun advice to Elijah Wood. That’s all you need to know.

  • Spoiled Ants

    As a certified expert I think it means you’re trying too hard to be liked by people who simple don’t give a shit.

  • Spoiled Ants

    I think a simple hug would suffice to turn him into Robin Williams……..

    I meant the Good Morning Vietnam Williams, to be clear.

  • Spoiled Ants

    Bad continuity. We’re talking about hack frauds here.

  • Autumn

    Internet, I just thought of a terrible idea…we need to make Rich Evans a Twinn.

  • Tim Thomason

    Roseann Lederer is a Pittsburgh-based ventriloquist and educator. She last had a news article about her and Ms. Udderly in 2012 (teaching first graders about nutrition), and she has a Facebook page last updated in September 2015, mostly with pictures of her family and Bible quotes.

    Doug Anderson, as you said, is still doing magic and still making videos as a “comedy” magician, although he has gone very, very bald. His last Facebook page update was on July 13th, so he’s still very active. His quote is between $750 and $3000 for a magic show, so he’s not cheap.

    The My Twinn company, however, is no more. They closed for good on January 31, 2016. My Twinn dolls only exist as collectables now, according to a very creepy website I visited.

  • Strelnikov

    “My Twinn dolls only exist as collectables now, according to a very creepy website I visited.”

    The creepiness is sort of inherent in that sort of website. At least it isn’t as out there as in the RealDoll bizarros.

  • Was this video edited by Salvador Dali? Holy shit, Mike, I’m worried.

  • Jetjaguar

    Sorry if this has been asked before but whatever happened to the woman who used to be on Best of the Worst the one that liked “Thunder pants” she was pretty funny and I enjoyed her presence more than the “lesser RLM people” ( only joking about the lesser part).

  • Cephyran

    If these guys ever want to do a ‘contemporary’ BOTW, meaning movies made in the last 15 years or so, I nominate Ultraviolet for that episode. I still don’t know what the fuck is happening in that movie.

  • I’m digging the surreal shit. It’s like a payoff for paying attention….

  • Yotsuba

    You mean Jess… She stopped appearing in videos due to the trolls being nasty. She’s still a huge part of RLM and is involved in all the behind the scenes stuff. If you email RLM she will be the one who reads it and replies. So send her a message and tell her that you miss her. That wont be creepy at all…

  • Paul S.

    “A” is for… harAmbe

  • Paul S.

    if the dolls have teeth – they cannot be destroyed

  • cursim

    Rich cracked me up in this one. “OH FUCK OFF” … “People trying to get their GED”

  • Andrew Marlowe

    don’t worry about the “lesser” comment because on an episode of Re: View mike called them that

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Stop torturing these adorable Canadians, you hack frauds!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Then Jay can do a ventriloquist act with Twinn Rich.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “Just get in to my panel van and I’ll give you some candy and a puppy.” — Not-Timothy Dolan

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Maker’s Mark doesn’t look like that.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    The only people disappointed are those alt-right heroes on Breitbart.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Then you’d need a poseable doll. Otherwise it wouldn’t be as believable and/or funny.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    It’s not like the Catholic clergy talk about child rape and murder any less.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “Beer of the Worst” would be the ironically named Milwaukee’s Best.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    There’s Jack. Doesn’t he count? He could be a token for something. Perhaps a slot machine.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I wonder if Doug does magic for Rogaine Corporate Retreats?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Witness Protection.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    2016 is a figment of my imagination.
    **goes back to drinking**

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Or bang it into Doug Anderson’s forehead?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Jack is a mute bodybuilder mime and works as Rich’s second in command.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    On the last part, I totally agree. Nuru Massage needs more ventriloquism and hand puppets. I am not a crackpot.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    And the My Twinn turns out to be a raincoat-wearing midget with a meat cleaver.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Gun? I’m no pussy. I want an armored personnel carrier. It’s my 2nd amendment right.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Why would boars need battle rifles? You should get big bore battle rifles.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    He’s still getting most of it into his mouth, so the problem isn’t too bad.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Jessi was the only one with any real talent.

  • LincolnHawksBaseballCap

    It’s a line from Highlander (1985)

  • Mark Bisone

    You either need to try much harder than this or stop trying at all. I think Plato would prescribe homonoia (but maybe you should just start drinking more).

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