Best of the Worst: Wheel of the Worst #11

May 19, 2016325 Comments

To recover from the last miserable episode of Best of the Worst, the group decided to utilize the Wheel of the Worst! Because the group are gluttons for punishment!

Filed in: Best of the Worst

  • Imperial_orb

    Oi!

  • Imperial_orb

    No one here, now look at that…

  • Imperial_orb

    What do you say to that?

  • The Wheel of the Worst fills me with joy. Thanks for this!

  • MPJZ

    If I end up on the sex offender list as a result of “How to Seduce Women Through Hypnosis” can I hold the filmmakers responsible?

  • Ubik

    Nice suggestions, Rich. I’m gonna try them.

  • Captain Prickhard

    It’s not called the ‘Freedom Tower’, you fly-over cows; it’s 1 World Trade. That was a lame Bush-era attempt to stamp ‘Freedom’ on everything, even french fries.

  • James Earl Jones

    Yay! I was thinking about you guys.
    (like i do most of the time…………..)

  • Kiss Kiss Hug Hug.

  • Well rape seems fun again. *slide whistle*

  • Jonah Falcon

    The theme of this episode: EVIL.

  • Rumblepuss

    Mike’s nascent old man laugh is awesome.

  • Koszper Gábor

    And Rich and Jack never mentioned Doom once.

  • Andrew

    I appreciate the satanism but destroying something by setting it on fire is a bit mundane.
    Also, lube up that wheel

  • Jonah Falcon

    “Notice how John immediately establishes credibility…”

    WHAT??????

    That implies the guy has no credibility.

    I feel so fucking dirty.

  • Jonah Falcon

    The executive producer of How to Seduce a Woman Through Hypnosis was executive produced by Bill Cosby.

  • Eric Simmons

    This is one of the funniest WOTW episodes yet.

  • Your show makes me a better rapist!

  • Jonah Falcon

    Robert Gould does not exist. Everyone in the video probably used a fake name.

  • playdude92 .

    I think this video should be linked to in online dictionaries under the word “hate”. Bullying, Revenge, Rape, Satan – There´s so much going on!

  • Rumblepuss

    It looks like they replaced the original wheel with a table blank, which is bound to weigh a lot more. Get some heavy duty bearings and graphite up in that V’ger orifice!

  • JonahFalcon

    Fangoria interview with Blair:

    FANG: Okay I have one last question – I wondered if you could tell me the story behind the instructional video HOW TO GET REVENGE!

    BLAIR: Oh yeah, that was a friend of mine, Bob Logan. And it’s
    all stupid humor that came out of LAUGH-IN and that whole era of
    vaudevillian-type comics, and it’s really pretty silly.

    FANG: It’s a crazy piece of cultural ephemera.

    BLAIR: It’s a bunch of stupidity is what it is.

    ME: BULLSHIT. Laugh-In never ever had that kind of shit.

  • ToatalNOTandrew Thompson.

    That was sick… yay?

  • JonahFalcon

    At least the bar codes tape was funny.

  • JonahFalcon

    Ever video with fundamentalists warning about Satan just makes me want to have sex with the Devil.

  • JonahFalcon

    I’m not into rap music.

  • Will

    They’ve clearly fallen out with Josh. Good. He was crap.

  • JonahFalcon

    Bill Cosby gives the Seduce video two thumbs… up her ass. *slide whistle*

  • JonahFalcon

    We call it the Freedom Tower in NYC because it’s easier to say than 1 World Trade Center, and it has nothing to do with Bush. The name just stuck here.

  • Steven Simmons

    That revenge video is pretty fucked up, lol.

    Also the rape.

  • frankelee

    I’m glad that rape scene wasn’t too hot for TV.

  • Domo

    The wheel looks too sturdy now that they fixed it. It’s too clean. It doesn’t smell anymore.

    What the fuck is this wheel?

  • crw

    I believe the blurred out guy was Gregory Itzin.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    You hear that? He corrected you!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    That’s was some shoddy pixelation effect. I mean, if they had really been trying to hide his identity from, say, a drug cartel, or something, he’d be dead by now. Unless the whole thing was poorly done for comedic reasons… but it wasn’t funny. I’m confused.

  • Bubs

    So… not to rehash a topic that’s been beat to death… but let me see if I get this straight:

    Posting Links = bad
    Jokes about molesting kids = good

    What the fuck, RLM?

  • MikeFromCanmore

    Damn no tape on how to seduce Jay Through Hypnosis Just gotta be a little more patient…..

  • durhay

    Thanks, I hate my name now after hearing it so much in those videos.
    – Mark Fartbag

  • Palpatine

    That’s right, Jay Bubs!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Really, really bad = posting links about jokes about molesting kids.

  • Bubs

    Or would it cancel out? So it would be like “meh”. Good + bad = meh?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    It certainly is something.

  • I couldnt stop laughing at ‘Fart Bags’ That is pure, deep fried gold.

  • Earth

    The Wheel of the Worst just ain’t as fun when it doesn’t look like it’s going to fall apart with every spin.

  • Pick Me Please

    Never before has syphilis made people so happy that they start victory celebrations. You lovable sick fucks.

  • Mike Rolfe

    No Mike, NO you’ll ruin the studio.

  • MikeFromCanmore

    god damn this is a great video. fucking hilarious especially the Syphilis part with Jack. also now i want a Fart Bag.

  • tOmy`

    I very much do enjoy this aspect of the show: Just because of couple of VHS tapes, we easily bridged discussion about suicide with a discussion about 9/11 and discussion about child molesting.

    This is the best PSA ever.

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    Clerical error…I see what you did there.

  • MikeFromCanmore

    #EyebrowShaming

  • tOmy`

    100 implied points for that sweet, sweet sound of Mike Oldfield.

  • David Simonot

    Nice commercial you hack frauds.

  • TheVerySpecialK

    The How to Get Revenge tape is obviously the work of the devil. Let’s break it down:

    1. First off all, the tape encourages the viewer to get revenge by harming others, which is obviously a sin.

    2. The tape features a bearded man (Satan) who instructs viewers on how to get revenge (and thus sin).

    3. It stars Linda Blair, who starred in The Exorcist, another Satanic connection.

    4. It’s on VHS and has a barcode on it.

    5. It was thrown to the floor by Rich Evans on multiple occasions, who clearly sensed its demonic power and tried his best to destroy it, while the rest of the gang laughed and rediculed him (Satan has already possessed them).

    666. It escaped destruction at the end, which means that Rich Evans is now humanity’s last hope for salvation.

  • tOmy`

    You know, when you have to start your video by claiming that you are in fact not advocating rape, you might be advocating rape.

    It’s like one of those “As a Christian…” or “I am not a racist, but…”

    But it could very well be just one of these “secret” manuals spreading throughout the society; before the internet (and the famous pedophile rulebook), VHS were probably your best shot.

  • tOmy`

    I wanted to make a joke about it, screenshotting the current Disqus-wide message “When does modding become a censorship” but, ironically enough, I cannot exactly show it to you.

  • Markham

    I had to check, and wouldn’t you know it, the DVD copy of Devil’s Pass does have 666 in its barcode. But then again, with a title like that, I’d be disappointed if it didn’t.

  • Mr_Show

    Yay!

  • Best Wheel of the Worst ever. I felt something close to joy today.

  • tOmy`

    I think that making a prank call to the police about someone robbing liquor stores can backfire very easily.

    The key feature here is “making the call”.

  • OMNI

    Maybe they weren’t advocating rape…

  • tOmy`

    I think they found an incredible “loop-hole” (for the lack of a better word), as allowing a trained professional to perform hypnosis on you might actually have some strong legal standpoint.

    Now I ain’t no lawyer, just a mere rapist, but this actually made me a bit curious. Do we have someone here who knows his / hers way around these legal binding issues? Or shall we just speculate wildly and then end up in jail?

    Post a comment on this webzone if you have any (legal) experience with this.

  • Even if said loophole exists, that means that after watching the video, you have to go out and become a fully trained/licensed hypnotherapist in order to take advantage of the loophole.

    It just sounds like a lot of work…

  • tOmy`

    True.

    But I was more pointing at the loop-hole of the video, because fuck, that is one stellar example of rape they show.

    But by featuring the “she said yes to hypnosis” as the gang pointed out, they might have found a way to circumnavigate the law; however, who knows how specific were these laws back when the video was made.

    So far, the only source about legality of hypnosis I found was court ruling regarding a hypnotized person’s memories and how to approach something like that.

  • I’m going to call shenanigans on how the wheel worked. The choices felt too good to be random. Anyways, this was certainly one of the better episodes of WotW. I am disappointed with the lack of pay-off to Rich’s growing frustration and the whole revenge schtick.

  • We already know about Space Cop. You don’t have to bring the show to a screeching halt for a ham-fisted advertisement you hack-frauds!

  • tOmy`

    Well, to be totally honest, you can always just key the closest Lambo you can find, if you are frustrated.

    I heard their factory paint is really cheap.

  • Martian Monkey

    Best of the Worst: How to Be Evil and Identify It.

  • RLMkeepitup

    How do I seduce Linda Blair?

  • tOmy`

    Destroy her marriage.

  • RLMkeepitup

    all the good ones are taken, even Rich!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    That day has come. When RLM’s reddit has more comments, for a WotW, than this webzone. ( ._.)

  • TBranin

    Thoughts:
    1. According to “Hypno-Rape Made Easy” the perfect target for hypo-rape is someone who’s very deliberately trying to ignore you.

    2. The sorts of people who would even consider doing any of the pranks suggested by the revenge video, probably aren’t the the type of people for whom it takes a lot provoke them into destroying another person’s life.
    “My neighbor doesn’t pick up after his dog. So I sent a series of threatening letter to the governor signed with his name and address.”

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Great episode and welcome return to form – ABV consumption seems to be back up to where it should be and the gang joyfully and knowingly dance to child molester music.
    Fun fact: Michael Hunt does exist in real life and the one I’ve met could easily have been part of all three videos in some form.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    In ‘murica the younglings school term is winding down, that might explain the uptick at reddit.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Honestly I think their medical knowledge consists of just 4 ailments – cat allergies, osteroperosis, syphillis, and AIIIIIIIIIIIDS. I’m shocked they haven’t caught all four while dumpster diving for these videos.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    “She called the shit animal droppings!”

  • tOmy`

    So I am digging deep into the whole legality of hypnosis and I found something wonderful:

    Example a) Notice: AS THE STATE OF NEW HAMPSHIRE HAS NOT ADOPTED EDUCATIONAL AND TRAINING STANDARDS FOR THE PRACTICE OF HYPNOTISM, THIS STATEMENT OF CREDENTIALS IS FOR INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY… A client has a right to refuse hypnosis services at any time. A client has a right to be free of physical, verbal or sexual abuse.

    Example b) THE STATE OF MAINE HAS NOT ADOPTED ANY EDUCATIONAL AND TRAINING STANDARDS FOR THE PRACTICE OF HYPNOTISM. THIS STATEMENT OF CREDENTIALS IS FOR INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY… A client has a right to refuse hypnosis services at any time. A client has a right to be free of physical, verbal or sexual abuse.

    Example c) Notice: AS THE STATE OF TENNESSEE HAS NOT ADOPTED… you know where this is going, right?

  • tOmy`

    Aaaaaand bingo! The Code of Ethics of the National Guild of Hypnotists, 2014 edition:

    “Imagery: Frightening, shocking, obscene, inappropriately sexually suggestive, degrading or humiliating imagery shall never be used with a hypnotized client.”

  • Bubs

    Thanks, Obama.

  • Nordquist

    They are allowed to post links on the RLM Reddit, coincidence?! I think not…

  • RiverboatGrambler

    Great episode, interesting that it was filmed in The Curtain Dimension. Hiding The Plinkett Awakens set?

  • Ogrot

    How did they find my uncle’s instructional video? I’m so embarrassed. Anyway if you want to know how to find the perfect victim mark subject it helps to leer at them through their bedroom windows at night. Or surprise them in their bedroom when they are sleeping alone by shoving ice in their mouth.

  • Marius

    Dir. Satan. xD

  • Ogrot

    More like direct to satan videos.

  • Imperial_orb

    The first two Videos where so shocking; everybody forgot about that jucy Shaq meat.

  • tOmy`

    Except for Josh.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Nice to see new faces here. Loved the ep; more effort put into it than most of their stuff made in the past few months…

  • Is that the first edition this clause was included in?

  • Variant

    Thanks guys, I was about to get depressed

  • Captain Turbo

    Is that Mike doing the opening narration?

  • tOmy`

    I am not putting any more research into it! There are more interesting things to research:

    “Sea cucumbers have a very specific type of predator – a tiny son-of-a-bitch of a fish that wriggles itself right up their poop chutes and systematically devours their genitals.”

  • navinrjohnson

    Today is my birthday, RLM. Thank you for my birthday present.

  • Domo

    Your search history is potentially more frightening than Rich Evans’ search history.

  • Herbert West

    Yes with some voice modulation.

  • Domo

    Zack Snyder stole the idea for Batman’s voice from watching WOTW.

    It all makes sense now.

  • Herbert West

    Lol, that’s true. He should have stolen Mike’s alcoholic from Milwaukee backstory as well. An “I was drunk at the time” justification for Batman and Superman fighting each other would have made for a more compelling story.

  • Variant

    And then I watched the video.. no really it still helped. But wow. WOOOooooooowwww

  • smogmos68

    Need to do Ricky 1. Rocky parody.

  • Craig Rigby

    then i planted isis flags all over his lawn when he was on holiday in turkey and called everyone.

  • Goliath

    I agree 100%. I recognised him immediately.

  • Adam D’Angelo

    I honestly hope that ‘Edited by: Mike Hunt’ becomes a new running joke.

  • Lobster

    I thought this too! I swear it’s him.

  • Nemo

    Just for shits and giggles, I checked my Japanese DVDs for || || ||

    Yup. Doomed . . . doomed.

  • Ogrot

    I like to think the edited by Mike Hunt credit was a big fuck you back at the fucking pervert whose dream it was to produce it. Can you imagine being the guy he paid to have to sift through all of this monster’s footage to cut together a how to rape hypnotize women who were unwilling possibly already willing to have sex with you to have sex with you. He prolly included everything that made him seem like a horrible monster on purpose.

  • Angry Picard

    Space Jesus has been going easy on us for our patience for Shoji.

  • Otto T

    Last night I had inspiration for an anthology film, the balloon heads and the rock outlines would be included.

  • lucid_flux

    Some people are so obsessively psyhco when it comes to their fetishes that I wouldn’t be surprised if someone put in the work just so they could rape woman legally.

  • lucid_flux

    All we need now is exploding small helpless animals for sick pleasure.

  • I call it the 9/11RebootISISSaddamLadin tower. It’s a long name but we must remember all those brave terrorists who gave their lives.

  • Skewed_View

    Such a dumb movie, but that line always makes me laugh.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    ngl, that was my favorite movie as a kid, and I haven’t seen it in a while, but I bet I’d still find it enjoyable.

  • Crixxxx

    Keep the Mr. T vid for next time, please.

  • Ragged Gypsy

    I could have sworn I saw the hypnosis video years and ago, but it was called something else…

    How I Met Your Mother?

  • Where can I get the Japanese SOS song from the credits? I want that ringtone!

  • What was the name of the guy in the hypnosis video? Did we find out what jail he’s in now?

  • Nordquist

    I tried to post you his facebook but I forgot no links RobertGouldmentalist# add that to the end of a facebook url.

  • fred

    For some reason when Mike said “That’s the Key !” my heart nearly burst out of my chest. (also–just an observation but there’s been alot of rape in BOTW lately…)

  • Nordquist

    What did you think the ‘R’ in RLM stood for?

  • kylemz

    I think the woman in the first video should watch the second.

  • Chad

    The mystery guy at 42:34 looks/sounds like Gregory Itzin from all the Star Trek/24/Fear & Loathing.

  • Rob Peterson

    I was revenge raped with juicy Shaq meat in my PRE-REC-TUM after being hypnotized by the anti-christ.

  • Stinkbeard

    #Fartbag is one of the best moments in any of the Best of the Worst!

  • ikdks

    Jessie! (00:20) We miss you!

  • Strelnikov

    It would be.

  • Strelnikov

    All I can say about the Linda Blair revenge tape is that whomever wrote the script probably read all those George Hayduke revenge manuals that started appearing after 1980; they all have titles like Get Even, Revenge, Make ‘Em Pay!, etc. By the time that VHS tape was made in 1989, Hayduke (a pen name for a still-unknown author) had already published ten books.

  • Thanatos2k

    Rich never got his revenge!

  • Thanatos2k

    It kept teleporting back onto the table too despite Rich’s attempts at throwing it away.

  • Thanatos2k

    Thank god, it’s almost like we can discuss the actual video.

  • Percy Gryce

    (1) Percy Gryce scorecard: no PG vids on this WOTW, but my Hollywood Cop poster was moved into frame. +1
    (2) Missed opportunities: They should have raped the rape tape . . . to death. -1
    (3) #RichEvansShaming: Fart bags, accusations of hypnotic rape, mockery of his beard, and most touching of all his reunion with his father, Officer Vickers. +4

    So, adding it all up, I give this WOTW 4 stars . . . out of 50.

  • Thanatos2k

    A real hypnotist would never be held back by some stupid ethics code!

  • LameSame

    Spoiler: she dies in the end

  • OMNI

    I meant the RLM gang wasn’t advocating rape. The Hyonosis video clearly was

  • RLMkeepitup

    he has infinity to wait it out, watching as we are reincarnated as lower carbon life forms. mostly varmits

  • junkevil

    Some redneck is going to have a lot of fun exploding you and your adorable varmint friends.

  • OMNI

    Jacks Shirt was cool! And I want pizza now

  • Art Haack

    Rich Evans, on being somebody’s fool: “I can tell ya, it’s no picnic.”

  • Galactic Shawn

    Hold on back the fuck up. In the “How to Seduce Women” video, at 25:40 the girl wakes up and says “John stop, don’t do this I’m engaged”. Was she not engaged in the other scenario?

  • Is this the first WotW with no VHS tapes from you? If YES: How could they? If NO: Repeated offence, punishment is rape.

    #MessageEndorsedByCosbyRapeYourDateCo

  • But they clearly enjoy AIDS, 9/11 and rape. Who wouldn’t?

  • Patrick Wells

    The guy with the blurred face is Gregory Itzin!!! (President Charles Logan from 24) I’m guessing he saw how HORRIBLE this video was, and demanded his face be blurred out.

  • ellaelise

    Yes. Again, they did three possible scenarios.

  • Galactic Shawn

    There was three scenarios? I missed it because I had my eyes covered. I hope one was when she got the red flag when he cut her phone line.

  • Red Skeleton

    Tsk, did you see how that woman was dressed? She was practically ASKING to be hypnotized!

  • xDiscipleOfTheWatchx

    I’m a fundamentalist Christian and been a fan of RLM from day one. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it Rich Evans you hypno-rapist.

  • xDiscipleOfTheWatchx

    So as far as I can tell, Mike was bleeped when he suggested Rich put “child porn” on the guy’s “hard drive” via dropbox.

  • Palooka Joe

    Eugina Levy

  • Joe Syxpac

    Pre-cum in yer Rec-tum?

    Also, nice job on the new wheel. Looks like someone splurged for a Roto-zip. Now make it go “beep beep beep” like the Price is Right wheel.

  • Joe Syxpac

    I wanted the Mr. T one.

  • Joe Syxpac

    I like how the guy says women are always dolling themselves up by doing their hair, make-up, nails, jazzercise, etc, and they put a woman in the vid who does none of that.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Yeah, but Shoji was a total let down.

  • Joe Syxpac

    I kinda wonder if Coke glasses didn’t also rob the stores.

    He admitted to so many illegal activities he may as well have.

  • Joe Syxpac

    I doubt that non consensual sex qualifies as rape anyway.

  • Joe Syxpac

    I cast you out, unclean spirit!

    (I was gonna post an image of America beer here, but remembered I can’t)

  • *Edited by: Jack’s Cunt

  • Archfriend

    Mike, the Book of Revelations which mentions the Anti-Christ and the number 666 was written in ancient Greek, not ancient Hebrew. #getyourfactsstraight #fartbag

  • Archfriend

    It’s probably the Alan Smithee of editors.

  • tOmy`

    It’s kinda odd it makes an appearance so late into the series. Would have made more sense to feature the number 666 throughout the whole thing, foreshadowing the shenanigans to come.

    It’s almost like it was an afterthought or something…

  • Archfriend

    He may also be a part of a minority group, which will come in handy in the year 2017 when Donald Trump is elected president.

  • Archfriend

    play a game of Ouija ?

  • Archfriend

    As a Christian I did find this episode very funny as I personally believe the Book of Revelations should belong in the apocrypha because of its dubious and plagiarized content and is probably the reason why many Americans are going crazy

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I’d say the videos were nothing but PG!

  • tOmy`

    Oh, I was talking about the video. RLM surely wasn’t.

    Should have made it more clear.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Why Japanese? Do you not have any other kind?

  • Archfriend

    So you want the rest of us to suffer a horde of spam bots just for the convenience of you posting a link? [insert joke about molesting kids]

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You can send them VHS tapes or leave flaming, fresh animal dropping bags on their doorstep. There’s a PO address at the bottom of the page. Don’t know if they have enough but they could always use another Nukie tape, for sure.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I loved the uneven, off-color boards that used to make up the old wheel.

    #MakeWheelOfTheWorstGreatAgain2016

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Could’ve at least thrown in some gasoline.

  • Well, she did say she always wanted to be hypnotized.

  • Ah the 80s.
    #SheWasAskingForIt
    #SheProvokedMeWithHerDress

  • Parallel Universes

  • You?

  • SOS.

  • Red Skeleton

    Yeah, that’s how it always starts. The women have a few drinks, start talking about how they’ve always wanted to be hypnotized… then the next morning it’s “OMG, I never gave you permission to mind-violate me! I’m taking you to mind-court!” Next thing you know, you got a court order to pay her all your money and you can’t get any more gigs as a stage hypnotist because your reputation is ruined. I tell you, it’s HARD being a male hypnotist in today’s world!

  • Rectum?

  • Thanatos2k

    Are you saying Rich will reincarnate into the Exploding Varmits guy?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Believe it or not, in my country, a few years ago, the government was placing billboards near beaches asking women not to wear bikinis, because that was asking for trouble. Those things were taken down fast due to public outrage.

  • RLMkeepitup

    immaculate conception? Gods literally a cheating bastard. Could be case of the not gays as well. #666

  • Most politicians in my country still say that. A few years ago one even claimed that it is impossible to rape a prostitute in response to accusations of his party colleague of doing just that.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Can anyone confirm or deny that “stoklasa” is Czech, or maybe Polish, for “hunt”? As in: “I’m going hunting”/”I’m going stoklasing”.

    I don’t know where I’m going with this one.

  • tOmy`

    It would be very unusual name for Czech family. But yea, can be Polish, Czech or Slovak.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Well, here it was particularly idiotic to do that. Venezuela, despite it’s current situation, which is dire, has always been known for having a vain population. So, asking women to cover themselves after they’ve gone in debt to have boob implants… well, not smart.

  • Tapeworm

    It means something close to “the one that has hundred ears of corn”.

  • Stokłosy [stɒ’kwɒsɪ] is a metro station in Warsaw. The meaning as I analyze it is ‘a hundred ears of wheat’ I am unaware of the etymology but nowadays hunting is polować [pɒlɒvʌʧ].

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Aww, bad joke ruined by reality.

  • Tapeworm

    Same in Slovakian and in Czech hunt is “lov”. So Mike has a pretty lame name.

  • Oh yeah we also have ‘łowić’ which only applies to fish ‘łowić ryby’ [to catch fish]. It has the same stem as ‘lov’ and ‘polować’. You can use it as a noun – ‘łowy’ [pl. hunt] but it’s very outdated.

  • tOmy`

    I was totally answering a different question. sorry. Yea, what Tapey said.

  • Percy Gryce

    It’s their second offense. WOTW #9 was also bereft of Percy Grycian goodness.

    I must admit that I haven’t sent much in lately–but they have a backlog of at least 100 weird things that I’ve already sent in since they first made their call for tapes in late 2013.

  • OMNI

    #safespaces

  • Domo

    That explains Plinkett’s fascination with creamed corn, made humorous with a volatile spastic colon.

  • Ogrot

    You may not have sent it in, but you bear a striking resemblance to the UPC code guy. Who also looks like my other, uncle. Wait! Are you my Uncle?

  • Tapeworm

    And that his ancestors for some reason stayed in Midwest.

  • luvs2pwge

    As a professional hypnotist I find the methods of seducing women in this video to be amateurish.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Revenge is a dish best served cold.

  • The first mistake he made was not spiking their drinks.

  • There’s also ‘kłusować’ – to poach.

  • luvs2pwge

    you could do that but any hypnotist worth their salt would carry a brick in their side pocket to hit their partner on the head with.

  • Mike Rolfe

    There are less than 1500 people with that last name, Mikes family are like the panda bears of people… soon to die out completely.

  • xDiscipleOfTheWatchx

    I read your comment and came to an hour later with all the money drained from my bank account. Are you responsible for this?

  • The More You Know♒☆

  • xDiscipleOfTheWatchx

    So…I masturbated to Linda Blair. That’s not so bad you’re thinking, she did pose topless in the 80s…But I masturbated to her pissing on the floor in the Exorcist. Does that mean I’m a bad person?

  • Depends on where you live. Pissing fetishes and squirting are illegal in the UK for example.

  • xDiscipleOfTheWatchx

    Really? Weird. I suppose my shitting fetish is out then?

  • Weirdly enough… No.
    According to the Independent those are:

    Spanking
    Caning
    Aggressive whipping
    Penetration by any object “associated with violence”
    Physical or verbal abuse (regardless of if consensual)
    Urolagnia (known as “water sports”)
    Role-playing as non-adults
    Physical restraint
    Humiliation
    Female ejaculation
    Strangulation
    Facesitting
    Fisting

  • luvs2pwge

    perhaps. that our they finaly got a court order for all your unpaid child support.

  • xDiscipleOfTheWatchx

    This is what happens when prudish perverted lunatics get into government. It’s all good to be a gay transgender sodomizing your boyfriend and mincing down the street in a pink gimp suit. But want to tie your girlfriend to the bed, it’s a no no.

  • Well, didn’t your Prime Minister have sexual intercourse with a dead pig?

  • xDiscipleOfTheWatchx

    No no, that was just his wife. I can understand the confusion

  • Strelnikov

    The hypnosis tape is not even listed on IMdB, but then a lot of the direct-to-video oddities from the VHS wave aren’t included, because there was just so much of it. That video gave off the vibe of “shot in a week”; I tried to find the director and cast, but it seems that they were all under pseudonyms, so I’m guessing this was a non-porn video from a porn company.

  • You can find a five minute clip of it on youtube, however. And it’s the icky-touchy part.

  • xDiscipleOfTheWatchx

    I sent that bitch all my food stamps, if she swapped them for crack, it ain’t my problem.

  • TheVerySpecialK

    As long as she wasn’t hogtied…

  • xDiscipleOfTheWatchx

    “Penetration by any object “associated with violence” ….No penetration by the Qur’an then, got it.

    (Let’s see how long this comment stays up. Lol)

  • junkevil

    Ah, no, but you should really work on your insults. I get the intent, but you could really do better.

  • ikdks

    Didn’t the Chinese food guy remind you of Gyllenhaal in Nightcrawler?

  • ikdks

    Revelations was a fatwa to burn Rome.

  • RLMkeepitup

    some of those how to get revenge ideas were disturbingly frank and creative. The angle of the camera, cig smoke, and manner of speaking look as though they could have been the inspiration for conan o briens “SECRETS” skits.

  • xDiscipleOfTheWatchx

    Best comment edit ever: “Unless you’re into diarrhoea…That one might qualify as water sports”

    Finally, my avatar is back

  • xDiscipleOfTheWatchx

    There weren’t two scenarios….She wakes up, tells him she’s engaged and then the tape skips right at the point where he injects her with more tranquilizers and starts again when he’s fingering her unconscious twitching denim clad body. At least that’s what I imagined when I jerked off to it. I dunno. Help, there’s something wrong with me. Help me. HELP ME

  • TheProphetMoeHoward

    I’m certainly offended.

  • Joe Syxpac

    It’s rape if you neglect to pay.

  • Malevolence

    I’d rather hypnotize someone into thinking they’re a Wookie and never turn them back to normal….

  • Variant

    my favorite scene was the syphilis couch riot

  • I know. I just don’t feel like putting effort into it.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    This was fairly recent, too, wasn’t it? Very odd, considering how old-fashioned these restrictions sound. It’s the 21st century and I’m not allowed to pee on people?! Come on!

    There’s one question that remains, though: It’s pretty clear that Dana Plato can’t sit on my face, but am I allowed to let her… fart in my mouth??? If it’s from a good distance, of course, so it technically wouldn’t be considered facesitting. That would require the fart to come out with considerable force but I’m sure that could arranged one way or another.

    What do you think, Maggit?

  • OMNI

    No that was the objective of that scene….

  • Buster Berndexter

    “She’s not awake yet!”

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Those glasses on the guy that got bullied at the Chinese restaurant! O-:

  • Red Skeleton

    I have to give due credit… is this the first time they’ve admitted that a video was full of interesting information? Even he Morel Mushroom video they said was made by a guy who loved Morels too much but they didn’t say it was full of “interesting” information on morels.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Gotta look pretty hard to find morality at RLM, but it’s there… under a pile of Nigh Court tapes and an unconscious sex worker or two.
    Thank you, I’ll be here all week try the fish!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    “This is about rape! This is!”

  • Creepy Skeletor Hand

    The pixelated guy is President Logan from 24, Gregory Itzin.

  • Domo

    They learned stuff about Ice Dams, or arrows that know how to party starring a Baldwin.

  • Charon

    Guys, I just came.

  • *starts gagging*
    I guess that would require some testing.
    *gags some more*
    Imagine if she had something that really makes you go off – Indian or Mexican. The results may vary, some of them might be really wet due to the large condensation of gases.
    *Jim_Carey_gagging.gif*

  • TheVerySpecialK

    So watching Rich Evans get verbally abused and bullied really gets you off, does it?

  • Galactic Shawn

    Can you put sparklers on the Wheel next time? It’s all about showmanship.

  • fred

    That’s not cool about fire safety.

  • Embodied

    Guess a story from what our christians around here consider to belong to the apocrypha. Here it’s all about Jesus and family. No ocean of fire. No raping demons. Dissapointing if you grow up learning that you live in that corner of the world. The corner with the boring christians.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Do you think if they get wet enough, they’d be considered water sports, much like your diarrhea theory, and thus be banned?

  • *gags*
    Yes. Probably.

  • lucid_flux

    Well technically it does cause six is used in the bible to signify corruption (Not Satan) where seven is used to signify perfection or completeness. And three is used to indicate emphasis throughout the bible.

    So really the instance of 3 sets of 6, just means that something is incredibly fucked up.

  • And not just any Baldwin! It was Stumpy Baldwin!

  • Domo

    Stumpy’s Godfather is Chewbacca, obviously.

  • Domo

    Rich Evans did run his face into a fire extinguisher during the exorcism scene. That’s probably funnier than sparklers burning the whole building down.

  • Mark Bisone

    They used the power of Jay’s vlog to destroy rape?

  • Domo

    I’m glad you understood the super powers of Jay’s vlog better than I could.

  • Ogrot

    Wasn’t that always the point of Jay’s vlog?

  • Mark Bisone

    They also learned how to stop, don’t touch, leave the area and tell an adult (Also starring a Baldwin).

  • Mark Bisone

    I thought it had something to do with webzone hit counts and time-shares in Nova Scotia?

  • Mark Bisone

    You don’t need super powers to destroy rape. All you need is a good shotgun.

  • Domo

    I could see a Baldwin instead inciting violence against furniture. That bitchy red couch probably deserved it.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Ohmaigod! I’m so slow! I finally figured out who the “someone” is when Rich Evans drifts away and imagines himself beating someone in the back end of a rifle.

  • Commander X

    “How To Get Revenge” was one of my dream videos to be featured on BotW. Simple tricks to get revenge on people, like sneaking into peoples’ houses and trashing their property. Watch for the sequel video: “How to Choose a Bail Bondsman”

  • Double Agent Mitchell

    I know what I’m doing next time a big bruiser spills some ‘sghetti on my shorts. Because that’s happened to me never times.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I think if there’s even a 1% chance of that possibility it’s worth considering.

  • Domo

    You can hypno-rape them and have them deported.

    It’s the best way to solve all altercations.

  • Cat Stevens

    Missed Michael Jackson joke on music made by child molesters.

  • Strelnikov

    That’s the thing, this is one of those items where the backstory to it is probably more interesting than the object itself.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    They’re saving the pedo jokes for their X-Men: Apocalypse review.

  • fred

    I hadn’t seen Ghostbusters since I was like 12 and didn’t like it that much but decided to rewatch it due to all the curfuffle. SURPRISE it’s a great moopie — ZUUL muthafuckaaaa

  • Joe Syxpac

    You’d be giving up the perfect opportunity to have sex with a Wookie.

  • fred

    Hit ’em while he’s down. fucking minority.

  • xDiscipleOfTheWatchx

    May peace be upon you

  • xDiscipleOfTheWatchx

    Does the fact that she’s like, 12 years old make me a bad person? lol

  • Yuhaddabia “Big Shot” Dijna

    When I want to seduce a woman, I just ask if she wants to come over to my place to “RLM and chill”.

    I never have sex.

    BTW, I would totally buy a pint glass with “RLM and chill” on it.

  • Rob Bruer

    Did Rich murder Mike after this was recorded? Jesus, I mean Rich needs to discover how to deal with the jokes, perhaps by being more assertive?

  • Malevolence

    Couldn’t you just slip ricin into somebody’s drink? Alot of that just seems like too much trouble

  • UnhealthyNutter

    The guy and girl on the front cover of the seduce hypnosis video have nice bums!.

    That is all.

  • AKA Mr. Wint

    Ham-fisted political correctness, IMO, is not morality… they’re a business and they’re appealing to their core demographic; 18-25 year old liberal arts college males…

  • Captain Hackfraud

    The answer’s on the wheel of the worst already. Only Mr. T can teach him to be somebody and not be Mike’s fool. It starts out by wearing dozens of heavy golden necklaces and getting a mohawk haircut. If that doesn’t help, he could maybe go to one of those confidence building hypnosis sessions. Just an idea. Go get ’em Rich, we believe in you.

  • OMNI

    Yes that does.

  • Imesseduptheemail

    RFID chips creep me the fuck out, and I’m not even religious. I don’t like the idea of having a tracking device imbeded under my skin where I have no control over it.

  • Oldies foal

    same

  • richardwicks

    I kind of want to send these guys a copy of The Plague Dogs – not because it was a bad film, but it was rated G when I saw it as a kid. The film fucked me up. It’s CRUEL to show that to a little kid.

  • richardwicks

    You should be creeped out by it.

    In fact, are you creeped out that the NSA records all information they can on the Internet? Are you creeped out that Google records every search you have ever made? Are you creeped out that Facebook also records everything you do on their site?

    We live in a kind of a creepy world.

  • What I learned from this episode: 1989 Linda Blair and Gregory Itzin will do anything for money, Mike and Jack are Christians, Jay uses a Sony NX3 camcorder.

  • Jules

    Thanks Mike for destroying How to seduce women so creepy old men (Rich Evans) wont prey upon me… I feel safer.

  • xDiscipleOfTheWatchx

    Oh well. She’s a bad person for taking revenge on people in the video. We’re even.

  • xDiscipleOfTheWatchx

    I wish Rich Evans would prey upon me. I’m so horny and lonely

  • Imesseduptheemail

    I certainly am. It’s the age of Big Brother, sad to say.

  • Watching Mike and Rich interact is like bearing witness to the traumatic origin story of two Batman villains.

  • Patrick Wells

    Gregory Itzin (aka President Charles Logan from 24) is the guy with the blurred face from the How to Get Revenge video!

  • Thanatos2k

    Does it matter if you’re carrying it under your skin vs in your pocket? Because your phone is doing that right now.

  • Thanatos2k

    Is that what people are calling their dicks nowadays?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    That, or chemical castration.

  • Thanatos2k

    “I don’t remember having sex with anyone…..though some guy did hypnotize me once….”

  • Thanatos2k

    Don’t worry, it’s not adultery because she was only engaged.

  • Ren1

    I love it when Rich rips on Josh about his ‘laborious’ descriptions of plots of shit movies.

  • Thomas Hunt

    God dammit. I take my eyes off of my cousin for just one second and he goes and makes another rape video.

  • OMNI

    That movie is heartbreaking.
    So is the book..

  • Bill Hiers

    That hypnosis video was creepy.

  • Mark Bisone

    I find they don’t hold still for that… unless, of course, you’re holding a shotgun.

  • Imesseduptheemail

    Yes it does, because I can leave my phone somewhere else. I have control over the phone, I do not have control over a microchip.

  • Embodied

    It could help find missing persons. I mean I don’t like it either, the danger that we’ll end up under total controle(#snowden,#nsa). But there are also some good points to it. If we could “tame” this technology it could be very helpfull. But I would implant the chip then in the bone marrow or brain. Under the skin it can be cut out from kidnappers.

  • Percy Gryce

    [Here’s where someone would normally link to the video of that lady in the Wookiee mask.]

  • Percy Gryce

    ‘a hundred ears of wheat’

    And what happens when you mix those hundred ears of wheat with water and yeast? You get beer.

    [Imagine a picture or a link to a picture of Mike with a beer.]

    Q.E.D.

  • #fartbag

  • Now I Get It

    Oh, it is you. I knew I heard the theme to The Banana Splits.

  • Now I Get It

    It’s always been a little vague.

    [link to “Mr. Plinkett: the animated series – Back to the Plinkett” and comment #1082279787 (one of only 57, as was the style in 2013), what reads:…

    Mike earned those stripes in the Eastern Bloc – one as a fencing instructor, the other as a gymnastics coach. He came West to recruit the Olsen twins but never went back. Not sure why.]

  • Jules

    We know that’s u Rich Evans

  • Joe

    Good video. Comments section isn’t crazy like before. Also I don’t think that’s really how hypnotism works.

  • Joe

    Does Len Kabasinski still visit the comments around here? If so, Len, is “Mark of the Beast” going to be your next film after “Bite of the Mummy” is done?

  • Joe

    But I thought this comments section was for 1.8k worth of in-joke posts between the same 25 different commentators?

  • Ogrot

    I used to think it was an avantgarde protest of quantitative easing and general FED policy regarding the regulation of interest rates in this country.

  • Imesseduptheemail

    Sometimes safety isn’t worth the amount of freedom you have to give up to obtain it.

    Also, brain or marrow? Then you have absolutely no hope of ever gaining control over it. You’re permanently on someone’s radar, and it’s not hard to see how a corrupt government can abuse it.

  • Thanatos2k

    No, I thought it was about posting random current events and advertising some terrible streaming channel they use.

  • DarkFluffy revolution

    ok…. pretty cool

  • Down Under Aussie (in Aus)

    Great episode. I’ve always enjoyed your editing, Jay, and I thought that this was a particularly strong outing in that department.

  • SomeGuy

    I feel dirty from watching you guys watching that rape tape. You certainly have not emphesized enough how awful it is, but I guess you let it speak for itself. And it does … omg it does. Jeez.

  • SomeGuy

    Jack totally deserves a thunbs up for his syphilis prediction.

  • Yakov

    pixel face is definitely Gregory Itzin. #pixelfail

  • Jean-François Martel

    HOW dare you?

  • Jean-François Martel

    i appreciate the guy being naked for once and the lady wearing clothes

  • Jean-François Martel

    They’re just getting fancy

  • richardwicks

    I remember watching that film as a little kid, and the realization that both dogs drowned in the end and the music comes up with “I don’t feel any pain anymore”, indicating that their escape was only in death.

    That movie fucked me up. This film was labeled G when I was a kid. G! Suitable for anybody. Tore me apart.

  • OMNI

    Even though The Plague Dogs is the saddest cartoon ever made, beside maybe Grave of the Fireflies it still is a very well done movie. If you can read the book.

  • richardwicks

    I listed links to both films, and whatever stupid asshole moderates this site, removed the links.

    Go to kiss cartoon dot com, you can find them both. You’ll find Grave of the Fireflies under the anime section. Grave of the Fireflies is based on a true story by a man who lived through WWII in Japan. He wrote about his experience of allowing his sister to starve to death, but he survived, and carried that guilt forward his entire life. His name is Akiyuki Nosaka and it’s HE that is the character of Seita.

    He wished he perished along with his sister. He had livelong regret about his decisions he made that led to his sister’s death.

    And that was a crushing film. It’s been adapted for the screen at least 3 times, but the animated version is the most touching in my opinion. Animation is a true art form, and under appreciated in the west.

    Grave of the Fireflies is a little personal for me, because I great uncle in WWII who was sent into Hiroshima in the Pacific theater after the bombing. He was a human test subject and intentionally used that way. He never had children, because he was made sterile by his mistreatment of my government.

    Happy Memorial Day, eh? Fuck my government.

  • richardwicks

    Sure, if you want to MURDER them. Ricin is one of the most deadly toxins that exist, but fortunately, it’s also extremely reactive, so unless it’s encased in something, it quickly becomes inert.

    It’s also a slow death, it takes about 5 days for the victim to die a horrible, painful, death.

    I think you’re thinking of Rohypnol. That drug causes inability to form long term memories. My tax accountant’s wife had brain cancer. In order to remove tumors, she was placed on this drug. She was completely aware and awake as they did surgery on her, and she would occasionally scream in pain I was told as they did the surgery. She has no recollection of this, but what a horrific idea it is she went through that, but she doesn’t have the psychological scars from it.

  • RiverboatGrambler

    “Hence, religion!”

  • Adam Baldwin

    That’s exactly what I thought! I just had no idea what his name was. Even with the pixelation his face and voice are recognizable.

  • Adam Baldwin

    I love Jack in this episode. He’s so good rolling with the jokes. Josh is great but he clearly gets pissed off at Mike’s and Rich’s antics sometimes, while Jack seems to take them more in stride.

  • Malevolence

    Seeing Jay’s face get so red XD rare gold #Fartbag

  • Cazamus

    I think this is the best shit on Rich episode ever. Just fartbag alone would have killed a lesser man.

  • Justin May

    Do they rewind the tapes before destroying them? They must, right?

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