Best of the Worst: The Sweeper, Empire of the Dark, and Mad Foxes

July 31, 2017166 Comments

Oh no, it’s Best of the Worst! This time the group watches three films that were recommended to us by one of our Canadian friends. It’s The Sweeper, Empire of the Dark, and a German release of a Spanish movie, Mad Foxes! Oh my Goooood!


Filed in: Best of the Worst

  • Steven Gibbs

    Tell Rich and Jay… spikes

  • Gerald Potterton

    Ah.. so is the Dunkirk and War of Planet of the Apes review coming next week or…

  • “Fuhrer of Raddeer”. FFS Rich, learn a language, any language.
    Fire on Wheels. For the record it was “Foy-er ow-f ray-der”

  • Dope.

  • durhay

    He hates those canisters!

  • Steven Gibbs

    Rich Evans wasn’t bred to fight aliens, he fights aliens by breeding with them.

  • What you got against House of Pain, Jay. I’m not like a huge fan or anything, but they were aight.

  • PirateRadio

    You really should do an episode about Jim Vanbebber movies… And have him as a guest!

    EDIT: And not necessarily on Best of the Worst..

  • Chomiq

    Somebody find out what was the budget for The Sweeper

  • Rich has gone full-on tums festival. There’s no turning back now.

  • MikeFromCanmore

    this is right up there as one of the best BOTW they done.

    also

    TUM TUM TUM TUM TUMSSSSSSSSSSS

  • Currently bumping House of Pain just to spite Jay

  • frankelee

    That joke was 9/11… because jet fuel can’t melt steel beams.

  • moron

    Technically it’s 2 and 7/12ths of a vote.

    I think this is the only time I’ve ever used my knowledge of fractions since I first learned it.

  • moron

    This is why I picked the username I did. I fucked up the math like Rich evans fucks up everything. Its actually 2 and 5/6ths of a vote.

  • Brian Levine

    So I guess I’m glad we didn’t get to see Mad Foxes destroyed by throwing it into a tub of pee and then dumping in a gallon of Tums.

  • frankelee

    All this math is making it a Tums festival in here!

  • Mario Grueso

    I’ll just say that the original tittle for Mad Foxes in Spanish is Los violadores which literally means The Rapists

  • andychrist

    i always thought it was “oh my gaaahd” …..turns out it was “gooooood” all along

  • Officer Meow Meow Fuzzyface

    Rich’s German pronunciation didn’t turn out half bad!

  • sigaba

    You guys had me, halfway through I actually checked Steve Bartek’s IMDB page.

    I notice Barkett got William Stromburg to do his score again. He always gets the right dude for totally overblown music.

  • RLMkeepitup

    once more yet again, some of the worst movies i’ve ever seen I’ve seen here, without actually seeing them! wow @ 8:05 that’s not a golden shower, it’s a golden bath!

  • StuffHobbes

    Loved this episode!

    I love when you guys watch “movies” that are decently enjoyable.
    It feels like it puts everyone in a good mood and you guys just have fun with it.

    10/10

  • StuffHobbes

    NEIN!

  • Cakefarts

    The real hero here is Colin. Thank you Colin.

  • Cakefarts

    Shouldn’t it be 2 and 9/11’s?

  • Joe Syxpac

    Rich can read German perfectly but can’t read English.

  • DanceOfBirther

    Mike “Mad Fox” Stoklasa drinks Christmas beer in July.

  • Peter Rentmeesters

    Tommy Wisseau wears a black tank top in The Room. That might actually be a thing.

  • Crixxxx

    Yes! Alley football scene.

  • DoobzMcgee

    On the next episode we watch Rich’s kidney stone removal surgery from eating too many tums

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Colin Mochre is an American treasure.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    What “recent events”?

  • Mr_Show

    Yay!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Bagels!!!

  • Joe Syxpac

    It was about to go bad.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I wonder if there is a Piss Tub next to the Oval Office?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “I’ll take The Rapists for 200, Alex.” — Sean Connery

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Fractions can’t melt through steel beams. Wake up, sheeple!

  • Joe Syxpac

    Rich Evans vs Aliens

    Make that happen!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Water shouldn’t be that color.

  • Patrick Batman

    Joe Pilato looks like he’s playing David Lynch in a really shitty biopic.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Just be glad they didn’t use the poop bathtub.

  • Angela

    I can’t believe a sweet Canadian like Colin recommended something as repulsive as Mad Foxes. I can’t believe the guys sat through the whole thing.

  • Michel

    You guys should check your video equipment. There is a disturbing jitter going on in the lower right of the frame sometimes (right where Rich’s tummy is).

  • Michel

    Almost … “foy-er owf ray-dun”

  • langweilig

    it attracted my attention how herr evans prononced ‘vergewaltigung’ when reading the description of mad foxes. so because this translates to one of your most favourite words ‘rape’ i like to contibute the IPA to you, in case there comes the day that you will have nothing left in life and you will attend the comic con in dortmund at the goldsaal and you want to make your fans cheer using the term ‘fɛɐ̯ɡəˈvaltɪɡʊŋ’. btw the show was very funny.

  • Movie Wan Kenovie

    Every day ends with a Piss Tub festival!

  • james weeks

    i knew they were part of the Illuminati…confirmed!!

  • DasKleineTeilchen

    please rich, for the sake of humanity…dont you never EVER try again to read german. my liquified brain just drips out of my ears and it aint pretty.

  • BrentonK

    We love you Mike!

    It’s okay that Rich Evans gets the better jokes for an episode. It doesn’t make you any less the funny guy!

  • DasKleineTeilchen

    jesus. christ. shannon. JEZUZFUCKINGCHRIST! but that baseball joke saved me finally.

  • Matt Gee

    The translation of the Mad Foxes Description:
    Playboy Hal is filthy rich and enjoys his life to the fullest. His pride and joy is his white Stingray with which he picks up women. One evening he is on the road with Babsy to celebrate her birthday together. En route to the disco Hal is persuaded by a gang of Nazi-Bikers to a race which ends deadly for one of the bikers. Hal and Babsy are not really bothered by it and continue celebrating as if nothing had happened. On their way home both get intercepted by the gang. Babsy gets raped and Hal gets beaten up. He wants to take revenge and strikes back with a buddy from the martial arts school. Bit by bit both sides get decimated and along the way the blood flows by the bucket.

  • Kawaii as Fuck

    Everyday ends with a Tums festival!

  • peterablex

    Glad we’re no roommates then

  • ikdks

    Ok, I’m just gonna lean into the strike zone and take one for the team, here, fellas.
    Can someone explain the opening bit? Am I suppose to understand what they were talking about because I’m hip and with it?
    Because I was pricing cpac machines this weekend…

  • Spoiled Ants

    Here’s a gimmick for you:
    Rich Evans reads Brother Grimm’s fairy tales in German and in a bathtub full of Tums.

  • Spoiled Ants

    I thought at first that it was Rich’s stomach reacting allergic to the Tums.
    But I guess it’s just Rich twitching his leg.

  • Wicked Child

    So I live under a rock – what’s the recent events joke about?

  • MichaelKz

    The Mad Foxes, there hasn’t been that much casual dick in a movie since A Room With a View.

    There, I classed up the place, you’re welcome.

  • BCFC25

    Get into the theatre you lazy fucks and tell me how awesome and how many oscars you think that Emoji Movie will win!

  • Joe Syxpac

    Yeah, sometimes that Milwaukee humor is lost on me too.

    I was thinking it was a painfully poor joke regarding Curse of the Worst, but I wasn’t willing to make that sacrifice fly to drive it home.

  • Chowderbatter

    In light of recent global events, Chowderbatter will watch Best of the Worst, eat three fudgsicles, jack off to girl-on-girl-on-girl action for approximately four minutes, then take a nap.

  • Chowderbatter

    I think they’re joking about the habits of many forms of American entertainment, discourse deciding to censor or alter content based on some recent “event.” Point is… there are always recent events and these programs should just get on with doing their thing and stop trying to posture as concerned. That’s my take on it anyway.

  • Chowderbatter

    Nah. Rich is too hardcore for that.

    He’ll line up the videos on a shelf and knock them down one by one by shooting a kidney stone from his dongus.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I see you’re taking your termination well, Mr. Scaramucci.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Casual dick sounds like a really bad detective.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    They might be referring either to Governor Scott Walker’s penchant for videotaping having sex with a goat in full Hitler regalia* or the latest Brewers win.

    *I’m unsure whether it was Walker or the goat that was dressed like Hitler. I don’t read Breitbart.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I think I read that Jodi Picoult novel.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Josh even makes a funny or two. Try not to faint.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Did Trump make it official? Well, no stranger than Columbus Day or Flag Day … but with more pee.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Whew! That’s a relief. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about President Trump firing ____________ and replacing him with ___________. Not to mention what Trump said about the ___________ and their ____________ sexual ____________ in the __________ Gestapo _________ with a melon.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Does he do this while fucking a Droid toy?

  • Cakefarts

    FOUR MINUTES! Why the rush Son?

  • Chowderbatter

    “Mooch on the loose-ch!”

  • IamSithAzagoth

    It also happened to be the same color as the bathwater in Mad Foxes

  • Chowderbatter

    That pier scene is exactly how Mac and Dennis would do Lethal Weapon 8. Shot for shot, stunt for stunt, word for word. Exactly!

    All it was missing was an eight minute slo-mo scene of Frank dressed as an Indian servicing a “whoo-er” from behind.

  • Thiver

    Does this mean that Phoebe Cates is gonna die soon? :'(

  • Thanatos

    Maybe they just really hate wasting water.

  • Thanatos

    Only Rich seemed to dislike it, Jay seemed to secretly love it. What does that say about them.

  • They’d better not pay to see that.

  • Michel

    Your guess may be right, but the allergic reaction is so more fun!

  • Moist

    Yeah, well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.

  • RLMkeepitup

    more like an enchanting visual image

  • moron

    After rewatching the Into the Storm/TMNT HitB episode I’m convinced that Rich Evans is enlightened and has reached the state of buddhahood.

  • ikdks

    That guy looks like Sleepy Gary.

  • ikdks

    She’ll live on in my imagination.

  • ikdks

    Maybe, but can we all agree there wasn’t a big enough fraction in Somerset?

  • ikdks

    They could skip some of these blockbusters if they wanted, or do four of them in one show.

    They’re so bland. I seems a waste to devote a whole show to them, when they could do more deep cut picks. Better to talk up an obscure film then just repeat the same clichés as every other jump cutting youtube face.

  • BCFC25

    Wait these guys ‘pay’ to see movies? I have it on good authority that these 3 sneak in while the patrons are leaving the theatre then hide behind the curtain until the movie starts again!

  • Is Josh’s shirt a picture of Mitch McConnell as the Paleman from Pan’s Labyrinth?

  • EJ

    Holy shit you’re right. Wisconsin Republican politicians are an odd-looking bunch in general. I think they eat too much cheese.

  • EJ

    So Americans reading German badly isn’t as funny to Germans as Germans reading English badly is to Americans? That’s a shame.

  • LameSame

    Yes… and might I just say that McConnell really does look quite a bit like Pale Man, now that I see it.

  • EJ

    I’m not entirely certain I’ve ever seen a man wear a black tank top in real life, other than maybe at the gym or possibly at the gun range.

  • EJ

    Really? One look at Colin and I could tell he was into some sick shit.

  • EJ

    For a very loose definition of “perfectly.”

  • Brian Levine

    So it looks like the 2017 goal of one HITB per month is attainable.

  • RLMkeepitup

    is there anything recent worth doing an episode on? I’m out of the loop

  • LameSame

    Dunkirk and Apes Escape

  • Marilyn

    No more remote selections from Canada, please.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Mad Foxes is just … well … yeah, um …
    **shrugs shoulders, gives up hope on humanity**

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Fix Plinkett’s VCR already!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    His shirt fast approaches the Hipster Event Horizon. I’m waiting for the shirt with Scarmucci as Poe Dameron.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    They’re all wearing pants, right?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Brother Shamus? An Irish monk?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Mitch McConnell killed a guy and drank his blood on CSPAN.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Help for Millennials: Wisconsin is a state known for its cheese, milk, beer, Joseph McCarthy, Paul Ryan, Ed Gein, and Jeffrey Dahmer.

    Paul Ryan and Ed Gein treat women in the exact same way.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I love Morris Day and the Tums!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    German is the language of poetry. Ja, Gruppenfuhrer! Schmeckt mir meine Scheissegruben!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Windsor, Ontario Illuminati Lodge 30695? Behind the Tim Hortons?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Colin is a nice young man. Despite the fact that all the cats are missing in the neighborhood where he lives is totally circumstantial.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Mike “Frank Gallagher” Stoklasa. Dude drinks like a fish.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    I’m ambivelous about this assertion. Sounds like a case of nonmedy.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    How else are supposed to celebrate Lent?

  • Zek

    Google: “Police seek man seen pleasuring himself during NJ screening of ‘The Emoji Movie'”

  • Zek

    So uh…about that Dunkirk review…

  • Spoiled Ants

    The good thing is, they don’t need to watch or review it to answer those questions.

  • Spoiled Ants

    There’s potential for a series, three YA novels and a radio play.
    At the very least.

  • BCFC25

    Yeah The Emoji movie already has best picture sewn up.

  • EJ

    There is a ton of great German poetry though – Goethe, Schiller, Rilke…

  • EJ

    Especially since they usually agree with the critical consensus anyway. The best HitB eps are the ones like “Boyhood” where they hate a movie everyone else likes.

  • psk

    the (festival of) tums must be floating on top of pee

  • Urdus

    tbh the english from those VW managers sucked big time. International buisness men, dealing all day with english speaking people, some of them even living in the USA. And they still don’t get the “th” right. How is that even possible?

  • Urdus

    It’s poetry if you imagine your girlfriend talking to you like that

  • RLMkeepitup

    yes!

  • Pulp

    Mad Foxes is nothing more than a political allegory about the fascist Franco regime,
    its like that Serbian Film,seriously.

  • EJ

    Huh, looks like Goin’ Ape! is actually getting pretty good reviews.

  • Robert Dunne

    This is the longest commercial for Tums that I’ve ever seen–and I’ve seen A LOT of Tums commercials.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Dunkirk seems like one of their end of year wrap-up quickie reviews. They’ll like it but not have much to say about it.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Sounded good to me.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Now hold on a Prilosec …

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Far better than Crash … no, the other one.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    The Piss Games?
    The Piss Runner?
    Pissvergent?
    The Giver?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “Every line is so dense …” — German Professor Not Rick Berman

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Unless it’s Matt Fraction writing about Hawkeye.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Why does Christopher Nolan want to dunk Kirk? Does he hate Star Trek?

  • Joe Syxpac

    That’s what happens when you buy your beer at Big Lots.

  • Marc Klement

    Please review Kung Fury.

  • They touched on it briefly in the Turbo Kid episode – it seems like they don’t think that highly of it – Jay said its budget didn’t seem to be spent that well, and they were a bit critical of it being a reference-heavy satire as opposed to being an actual homage to 80s stuff like Turbo Kid was.

  • RLMkeepitup

    but true survivor by the hoff though, good 80s vibe

  • Pop Culture Reference

    The Hoff was in Star Crash. Quality cinema!

  • Pop Culture Reference

    JAY: Me personally …
    **twenty minutes of Inception BWAAANGH!!! sound over black screen**

  • Pop Culture Reference

    He looks like Buddha.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “Unlike the failing New York Times, I own a giant bathtub full of piss. Fake news!” — President Donald Trump, attributed.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    The Steve Bannon Spa Treatment?

  • Lowrent

    Binge drinking is like kicking your liver in the balls. C’mon guys, all prostates matter…and colons don’t grow on trees. Jeezuz H Christ.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Heroin is much more low-cal. It’s gluten free too.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    So Colin from Canada is into Nazi pee fetish movies?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    What do you expect from the country that gave us Gordon Lightfoot and Rush?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    “On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.” — Tyler Durden

    **The More You Know graphic and jingle**

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Grabowskis reboot?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Watch “The Final Sacrifice.” The Canadian minions love their black tank tops.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Or the dumpster behind Big Lots. But then Mike has to fight the raccoons for the precious hooch.

  • peterablex

    Glad I’m no roommates with him either then

  • sdfalk

    Richs “certainly Satan ” quote.. old 80’s Canadian tv Sitcom..
    True story

  • David Bargman

    Forgive if this has already been covered, but I bet the bathwater in Mad Foxes is well water. I’ve known folks who’ve supplemented their water from a well and the untreated water had a off/yellow color. This being Spain in the 80’s, I bet the house drew a lot of water from a well, thus the piss yellow color due to leeched minerals. Still gross AF looking.

  • Foreman 371

    well is ok as long as you are not surrounded by farmland…I rather don’t want to think about how much groundwater is poisoned here with quicksilver and nitrite. Probably everything.

  • I just found Collin’s other favorite movie by mistake – look up “Act of Vengeance (1974)” – but not just that – look it up on IMDB and look at the original/alternate title on the movie poster. I’m sorry I just had to share this – I recommend if anyone owns it they burn it instead of send it in. And then burn themselves for owning it.

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Who would love a movie about a piss-loving Nazi sympathizer who is a rampant misogynist?

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Still better than “Boyhood.”

  • Pop Culture Reference

    Isn’t that the one starring Troy McClure?

  • I wouldn’t know, I haven’t watched Boyhood or “Rape Squad” – though I’m sure both would violate my sensibilities in entirely different ways.

  • I wouldn’t know, I haven’t watched Boyhood or “Rape Squad” – though I’m sure both would violate my sensibilities in entirely different ways.

  • Rich Evans is exceptionally spiteful of religious beliefs so I sincerely doubt it.

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