Best of the Worst: Pocket Ninjas, Cyclone, and Dangerous Men

June 21, 2016349 Comments

Put on your sweatpants and prepare a pot of coffee because this is gonna be a long night! The gang watches two of the most baffling, nonsensical movies they’ve ever watched with Pocket Ninjas and Dangerous Men. Cyclone’s in there too.


Filed in: Best of the Worst

  • El_Runko

    furst furst furst furst furst furst furst furst furst furst furst furst

  • Loafer

    Ah, a reason to live.

  • Andrew James Campbell

    YEAY!

  • tweakerbelle

    Well twirl my titties! Another BoW. Imma gonna hafta make some breakfast and settle in to summa this yummy fun. Birf! Flabba-dabba-dooo!

  • tOmy`

    Wait, where is the fat one with dark hair?

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Alright, new Best of Times, Blurst of Times!

  • LameSame

    I was up working all night and ready to finally get some day-sleep… but now, I think I just WILL make a pot of coffee.

  • LameSame

    But now I’m lower than you!

  • LameSame

    Oh tweakerbelle, what would the world be without ya? Rimdibly morning to ya. Thanks for all the fribjib whenever the sliklepeel needs jajajubies.

  • LameSame

    He’s hiding behind the camera like THE PERV HE IS

  • It’s unsettling seeing somebody from Red Letter Media venture outside.

  • I’ve heard the others call him “Malc” which I think might be short for Malcolm. His surname – Stoklasa – means ‘rainbow dancer’ in Polish.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    He didn’t really go outside, it was just backgrounds spliced in from the Incredible Bulk.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    #TakeThatPatriarchy!

    “We’re in the same fucking karate class!” ~Jack 2016

  • Imperial_orb

    Oh wow, I am officially spoiled. So many Red Letter contents.

  • Imperial_orb

    Betty Ford Clinic.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    I haven’t laughed this much since Niel Breen.

  • Mr_Show

    Yay!

  • Imperial_orb

    Mommy, Mommy! I want Cherubism, just like Robert Z’Dar!

  • Sailori7

    Jay!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    When’s the next Quick Cuts?

  • Palpatine

    Tuesday. Wait, what?

  • “sobbering”

  • LameSame

    Is there an officer, problem?

  • Glyph Wright

    They should do a Best of the Worst with all 3 of Neel Breen’s films. And then pick which one is the neelst of the worst.

  • Variant

    Worst of the Worst: Return of the Couch Riot

  • Variant

    The one guy with thick eyebrows in Pocket Ninjas looks like a low rent Ice T.

  • tOmy`

    Watching the Cyclone analysis makes me want to have a weekly show where Rich, Jack, Jay and Wizard discuss physics.

  • luvs2pwge

    Is that the porn star Kayden Kross in Cyclone?

  • frankelee

    When these four guys appear on screen together everybody is suffering from gay panic.

  • durhay

    cannot unsee

  • David Gallagher

    You really should watch the whole video rather than comment 2 minutes in, son.

  • cucadandi

    Whenever Mike’s not in an episode I tell myself it’s because he’s busy with the next Plinkett Review when in reality it is of course his crippling alcoholism that is to blame.

  • Eggsalad007

    I’m always disappointed when I don’t see Mike. The Wizard sucks.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Plinkett ninjas, please.

  • luvs2pwge

    Some things are better in moderation.

  • cucadandi

    Like booze but good luck telling Mike that.

  • luvs2pwge

    Here is an old stage trick, it is corn syrup in the water

  • cucadandi

    Why would they want to substitute the only rewarding thing about making these table discussions with corn syrup?

  • durhay

    pleez doan hurrhurr

  • OMNI

    He’s working the camera, it’s his turn.

  • cucadandi

    I don’t buy it. Usually the camera shakes a lot more when Mike’s operating it, you know, due to withdrawal from the ALCOHOLISM.

  • Kyle B from the D

    Just a heads up, you missed blacking out a lot of nipple at 54:46

  • cucadandi

    Gay panic as in questioning your own sexuality or as in a fear of that many gays in one place?

  • catoblepag .

    Guys, that’s really Russ Tamblyn (Cyclone is listed in his Wikipedia filmography)!

  • Rocket Jock

    Incidentally, that’s comedy legend (and ex Bowery Boy) Huntz Hall at the 38:09 mark, winding up a career that included co-starring with Humphrey Bogart and Jimmy Cagney getting 10th billed to Heather Thomas in “Cyclone.”

  • durhay

    “minably”

  • frankelee

    That’s an excellent question.

  • Phillyflopper

    You hack frauds need to review Star Wars. It ain’t gonna shit itself. Well, probably. But we must know what Plinkett thinks. He is the sole source of all my movie decision making.

    And what does he think of Independence Day? He was involved in that little skirmish that caused the US to lose Antarctica. xD

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I think Mike could’ve had a cardiac arrest, had he been present in the screening for Pocket Ninjas.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Noticed that too.

  • Alexandria Sanders

    Science Man!!

  • Wow guys, how wasteful. You do realize that there are starving African children in Cambodia that could have really used that glass you broke, right?

  • Variant

    Probably both, seeing how one has relation to the other.

  • Mason

    First time watcher long time commentor: Nice hat rich!

  • kapsi

    Nice Achewood shirt, Beardfat

  • TheVerySpecialK

    Not to mention the Steel tape that Josh threw away. All that Shaque Meat could have gone a long way.

  • ooktar

    That room trashing was the greatest I’ve seen since Tommy Wiseau.

  • Ren1

    Breenst of the Worst?

  • Ren1

    “I fell out of a speeding car what do you mean, am I alright? Look what you did to my grandmothers station wagon!”
    Goddammit Rich, you make me laugh you glorious bastard.

  • Caruso S.

    OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWK

  • DanceK

    Notice that the credits for Dangerous Men included many memorable characters, such as: 4 bikers, 3 detectives, 1 hooker and 1 rapist.

  • DanceOfBirther

    These strike me as the worst three movies since episode 25.

  • Peter West

    From the Wikipedia entry for Dangerous Men:
    “The plot of Dangerous Men is somewhat unclear, and changes abruptly towards the middle of the film.”
    “The film was not released until 2005, when Rad paid for a week-long run in five Los Angeles theaters. This limited release reportedly earned $70.”
    I haven’t even seen the film and I cannot even.

  • Percy Gryce

    ♪ And a partridge in a pear tree. ♫

    Actually, you’ve inspired me. See above, below, or some other ways.

  • Percy Gryce

    ♪ On the twelfth day of R-L-M
    my imaginary Internet friend sent some links to me:

    12 Plinkett Reviews
    11 Rapists Joking
    10 Jacks a Mobying
    9 Jessi’s Laughing
    8 January Movies Sucking
    7 Fake Plinketts Clowning
    6 Wheels a Spinning

    5 Grabowski Seasons

    4 Hairy Merkins
    3 48-Hour Films
    2 Show Biz Pizza Bears

    and Rich Evans in a Space Cop spree ♫

  • Earth

    Beautiful. Loved Rich Evans’ homage both to Snake Plissken and Samurai Cop at the same time.

  • fred

    “C.S.A.: The Confederate States of America” is an underrated moopie. And this BOTW was somewhat over-hyped — still good like all episodes, but not as funny as the last WOTW in my oh so very humble opinion.

  • fred

    Christmas already. That’s the spirit.

  • fred

    Rich was very sleepy.

  • Citation needed.

  • OMNI

    Well, I loved this BOTW because, my friend was an extra in 3 Ninjas, Martin Landau, Jeffery Combs and Boobs!
    I’m glad the rape stuff was more implied and poorly executed, because I don’t like rape scenes.

  • OMNI

    He broke shit, It was real…

  • OMNI

    Careful, don’t give Rich too much power, he gets evil.

  • OMNI

    Totally.

  • OMNI

    I’m glad.

  • OMNI

    Everytime I get a panic attack, it’s very gay.

  • OMNI

    But it’s not July yet!

  • Bubs

    A great episode. However, I have to dock Jay 1,000 editing points for not properly balancing the audio. I spent about 75% of this episode moving my volume up and down as it went from the barely audible dialogue of the movie, to Rich Evan’s ear-drum bursting laughter.

    P.S. Dangerous Men looks amazing. Also, I missed Mike this episode…

  • Joe Syxpac

    He’s getting a late start.

  • Joe Syxpac

    I read that wrong.

  • OMNI

    I was embarrassed! My neighbors could hear Rich and they asked me never to have him over to my apartment again…..

  • Joe Syxpac

    “Is it little people?”

    “No, it’s children.”

    “Oh…”

    Now that I think about it. I’d love to see a ninja movie with little people.

  • OMNI

    Mini Kiss has to make an appearance. Peter Dinklage to produce and direct.

  • Showbiz Pizza Bear

    What withdrawal? Mike wears a Camelbak filled with Stoli when operating the camera.

  • Showbiz Pizza Bear

    Well done. But there’s really only one Show Biz. Remember that or pay the price…..

  • FiachSidhe

    Oh man, Robert Z’Dar. I haven’t seen him since MST3K riffed Soultaker.

  • FiachSidhe

    To be fair, there isn’t technology on Earth that can properly balance Rich’s laugh yet.

  • FiachSidhe

    That moment when Jay just says “….ohh comedy?”
    Like a good friend asking “are you really gonna wear that out tonight?”

  • Dan

    The intro to this had me crying with laughter. Josh has gone up a few points after this.

  • Jean-François Martel

    but at least we got a Very Special Appearace by Science Man. It helps a little.

  • Jean-François Martel

    Man, can someone give Jeffrey Combs a really great, successful role? The man is talented and deserves to do decent stuff.

  • Jean-François Martel

    speaking of, is Jessi still alive?

  • Jean-François Martel

    whitdrawal implies that he ever stops drinking and we know that’s just not realistic

  • Jean-François Martel

    We’re here! We’re Queer! … i got nothing funny

  • Jean-François Martel

    isn’t that a german sausage?

  • OMNI

    got a Beer!?

  • OMNI

    Well he did do the re-animator series

  • OMNI

    I like Da Wiz…

  • OMNI

    Call me Skip..
    Ok Skip.
    The name’s Scop…

  • OMNI

    Max would have to be there of course.

  • El_Runko

    You’re a German sausage.

  • Cyclone has Weyoun in it. How could it not win?

  • fred

    Never heard THAT one before.

  • fred

    “Working the camera”

  • Welcome Back Otter

    Dangerous Men is a masterpiece! It took 12 years, I mean, 27 YEARS TO MAKE!

  • tOmy`

    He was preparing for the Scientist Man Emmy reel.

    He nailed it.

  • tOmy`

    Great episode.

    I like how you advertised it as being really long and then just slapped weaselly .18 behind the one hour mark, as if your audience didn’t remember the good old 2014, also known as the Year of an Effort.

    Some bonus points for the room trashing segment(s). It’s always fun to see Rich playing Rich and Jack being Jack; the cringeworth really goes into overdrive.

    So after deducting the points for Jessi’s omission (I gave up on that Gillian dream long time ago), this episode sits on comfortable 4/10, making it cheaper version of The Warcraft movie.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, no.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    I haven’t watched anything from RLM in months. I check in every so often to see if the Plinkett review is here. If I ever see it, I will have to catch up.

  • Kawaii as Fuck

    Josh hit the nail on the head, Toejam & Earl is exactly what I thought when I first heard Dangerous Men’s music.

  • Imperial_orb

    How dare you? That joke took 12 years to make.

  • cucadandi

    Thematically I think it’s pretty obvious that Stieg Larsson blatantly ripped of Dangerous Men while he was writing The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo – the original title being Men Who Hate Women.

  • cucadandi

    Jack? Is that you?

  • Strelnikov

    The Terror of Tiny Town II: When Ninjas Attack!

  • Robotpals

    I like Mike, but they DID talk about the movies this episode. For BotW, Mike has increasingly had this “What have I done with my life?” air that reduces his commentary to “This is all shit.” All four guys were engaged for these discussions, and the episode benefits from it.

  • Robotpals

    Love the reactions at 27:55. Was it rehearsed?

  • Chris Wootton

    The “not Rutger Hauer” guy (in Cyclone) is Dar Robinson.. He was quite a famous stuntman (he falls into the chains after being shot by Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon), did a great stunt in the Burt Reynold’s movie “Stick”. That HAS to be Russ Tamblyn though right?

  • Strelnikov

    IMdB claims that Pocket Ninjas was shot in 1994, then “released to a foreign test market” (i.e. they inflicted it on Hungary and South Africa), then finally dumped direct-to-video here in 1997. The production company (“Cine Excel Entertainment”) was a pure B-movie maker and the film they made was a straight ripoff of the Three Ninjas movies. Why it was edited by Helen Keller is beyond me.

  • Strelnikov

    John Rad (Jahangir Salehi Yeganehrad) allegedly was a millionaire in the
    Shah’s Iran, and left the country before the 1979 revolution. He made a
    few movies in Iran, so he was not new to the process, however Rad was
    never willing to go into debt making the film, so he always was saving
    up to shoot, re-shoot, re-edit Dangerous Men. The film was finished in 1985 and run at the Avco Theater in Los Angeles; it was a dud. Rad saved up a decade and then re-shot the last part of the film in 1995, then re-edited the film and showed it again in 2005, where it infamously made only $70 even though it was run in multiple theaters. Pretty much this is the immigrant version of Manos: the “Hands” of Fate; both movies made by people driven to
    finish the project and get it seen, it’s just that Manos had an easier time being made, but nobody wanted to see it, and it even had a hard time being sold to independent TV stations in the 1970s. So yes, even having Dangerous Men finished is a minor miracle.

  • OMNI

    I’m liking the longer runtimes lately guys. I love lengthy discussions.

  • “A director makes 100 decisions an hour. Students ask me how you know how to make the right decision, and I say to them, ‘If you don’t know how to make the right decision, you’re not a director.'”

    – George Lucas

    Someone needs to take grandpa out back and shoot him.

  • Palpatine

    Well, I guess that means George isn’t a director then.

  • Cheug, what gave you a clue numb nuts?

  • Strelnikov

    Speaking of correct decisions, that car the woman pushes off the cliff in Dangerous Men was owned by John Rad’s daughter. He stole it from her a few years before the film was made because she was dating somebody he didn’t like, hid it, then destroyed the car for his movie.

    I’m sure he stopped getting Father’s Day cards after that.

  • cucadandi

    I’m guessing he said this pre 9/11- I mean Phatom Menace?

  • I’m sure he still says it every morning to his Jar Jar toy.

  • tweakerbelle

    Nope. Who’s Jack?

  • Stolen props even? This is really the best movie.

  • Jean-François Martel

    Gohd! i wish.

  • Jean-François Martel

    i mean one nowadays.

  • Pingpong

    It helps to know that Donald G. Jackson, director of Pocket Ninjas, is known for his invention of “Zen Filmmaking,” in which no scripts are used (i.e. he fucking makes up everything as he goes along). RLM should watch Hell Comes to Frogtown next, or The Roller Blade Seven.

  • OMNI

    I’m afraid he looks quite different nowadays

  • YAAAAY

  • kalke

    much more fun when mike is not around

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Lucas is a… teacher?

  • frankelee

    No.

  • cucadandi

    To be in that room when a smart ass student musters up the courage and asks Lucas what he was thinking when he created Jar Jar.

  • OMNI

    Yes it’s true, Mike is kind of controlling and somewhat of a bummer.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    So, was Jurassic Park III done with Zen Filmmaking? They didn’t have a proper script when they started shooting.

  • Palpatine

    “BEN?! ERIC?!”

  • OMNI

    It’s the key to everything

  • Jean-François Martel

    what does it matter?

  • OMNI

    It doesn’t but his days of playing young upstarts is over. He wouldn’t be able to pull off his quirky charm the way he used to.
    Different roles for aging actors.

  • Joe Syxpac

    I looked that up hoping against hope that it was real.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Cyclone reminded me of Street Hawk, which in turn reminded me of Automan.

    Don’t know what that has to do with anything.

  • OMNI

    I’m sure he does seminars.

  • OMNI

    All of the mystery surrounding Jessi is weird.

  • stryker1121

    Jerky Boys reference at 43:27?

  • Strelnikov

    ….And Wikipedia screwed that up because John Rad ran an earlier cut of
    the film in 1984 or 1985 at the Avco Theater on Wilshire Boulevard in LA, then re-shot the
    last part of the film in 1995, and that version was the one that only earned 70 bucks.

    (Proof: Vanity Fair, “It was Supposed to Be Bigger than E.T. It Wasn’t. But Dangerous Men is Finally Having It’s Moment.”, Eric D. Snider, November 2015. I had to write all that because RLM has rigged their version of Disqus to reject html links as spam.)

  • Jean-François Martel

    he makes a great Edgar Allan Poe, i wish Stuart Gordon’s kickstarter to make their play on Poe into a movie had succeeded.

  • Strelnikov

    He was also in Samurai Cop which RLM both reviewed and then talked about at length with Matt Hannon, the actor who played the title character.

  • OMNI

    Oh yes. I’m a huge Jeffrey Combs fan. He’s a master of horror/sci-fi schlock.
    Now I really want to see From Beyond again, just might have do that tonight….

  • OMNI

    I tried to watch it at Mike behest, but I couldn’t make it.

  • OMNI

    Was that the two kids names?

  • Jean-François Martel

    good plan

  • Palpatine

    Eric was the name of the kid in Jurassic Park III. Ben was some other guy who got eaten by a dinosaur. I think the film you’re thinking of is Jurassic World.

  • Hilary Manfat

    Josh (The Wizard) reminds me of Jack in the early days. It seems that Josh has to earn some kind of assholeish respect from a minority of manbaby RLM viewers, to be accepted. I make the comparison between Jack and Josh because I remember Jack getting the same amount of negative comments when he started appearing more prominently in RLM videos, simply because his personality was different from Jay, Rich and Mike’s.

    I’ve noticed that internet folk in general don’t like it when “outsiders” come into their favourite channels and upset the apple cart, so they get all pissy and start vocally saying how much they hate that person etc. Josh seems to get that because he appears rarely, and tends to have a more quiet approach. I think it’s a shame, because he seems like a really decent guy, and does come out with some fantastic and very funny comments at times (which must be difficult in a very vocal group). Which makes this episode really satisfying to watch, because he’s clearly having a laugh at his previous behaviour and not taking himself too seriously.

  • Eric

    Coming soon, kickstarter for new Living Room Furniture

  • moisan4 .

    Best ending to Best of the Worst yet! The cameo by Mike was great too.

  • OMNI

    Da Wiz reminds me of my friend Thomas.

  • Thanatos2k

    I like how they trashed it after one movie, then put everything back into place, then trashed it again.

  • Thanatos2k

    You could really experience their suffering in this episode.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    I mean, last episode he was a grump, this episode he’s not and like you said having a laugh about it. i personally never had a problem with him till last episode, and ofc everyone has their bad days.

  • disqus_fnwCMQDX7u

    yeah… they are really boring, but you know, omg, a girl, who hangs out with nerds… not sure if they are not on because they are boring or because of the creeps.

  • OMNI

    I’d just thought I’d share my wonderful night of playing FarCry Primal and watching From Beyond, which is one of the best movies ever. I’m off to watch “Beyond Re-Animator”!

  • Joe

    Beat me to the comment, damn.

  • Joe

    Shran too

  • Joe

    I’m not seeing it. Did they fix it already?

  • Sure…………………………………………………………..

  • LameSame

    Jack’s polite, fake laugh never fools no one! It’s very endearing, though. Dude likes giving people their props. Nice guy, that Jack. Always brings great food to picnics. He’ll change your tire in a jiff. Real stand-up guy.

  • LameSame

    I agree with this sentiment exactly. I really always liked Josh, but his intense grumptitude throughout the last episode was very annoying to me. He was being a complete killjoy. It’s this fucking comedy series, just a wackydoodle show about being silly while talking about bad movies, and he was just being a whiny little bitch about everything. But maybe he was just having a bad day. Never had a problem with the guy otherwise! The episode where they were all watching Alien Seed – during that intense cold front – is actually one of my favorite BotW, and he was great in that.

    If anybody wants to hear my opinions about others in the RLM crew, feel free to call me at 1-900-857-1385. Fees apply.

  • LameSame

    I agree – I loved this one, but I almost wish I hadn’t over-hyped in my head throughout the week, what with the twitter teasers and stuff.

  • Hilary Manfat

    It’s funny though, when Mike or Rich are grumpy or act like whiny bitches, they’re “just being them”. When Josh does it, he’s somehow being a killjoy.. I agree to a point with what you’re saying, but I think the less regular team members get more unfair stick for it.

  • Hilary Manfat

    Mike definitely phoned it that performance as science man though… I’d give him a 4out of 10 rating overall.

  • Hilary Manfat

    Considering how Star Wars: A New Hope transpired, he should have rephrased it – “A director makes 100 decisions an hour, If you don’t know how to make the right decision, don’t worry, just let post production sort out those decisions in editing”.

  • Hilary Manfat

    Having seen some of the Discus comments on Jessi’s BOTW in the past, I’m not surprised she doesn’t come back. Having rewatched the old BOTW’s, I came across a few comments from weirdo’s perving on her feet. It’s just creepy! (I thought that kind of crap was exclusive to Youtube comments)

  • Hilary Manfat

    It made $70? Well, at least it broke even!

  • badfanfic101

    Did anyone notice, as I did, being a real film buff, that Rich’s waddling-stagger as he destroys the room is an exact homage to Orson Welles’ waddling-stagger as he destroys his wife’s room in Citizen Kane? It all rhymes. Everyone is so dense.

  • badfanfic101

    But why’s he so bald?

  • Kyle B from the D

    I think so. It was during the part when she was talking to the drag queen looking hooker, asking her questions about being a hooker.

  • Nordquist

    $70 wow he has a pretty large family in Las Angeles.

  • cucadandi

    Just a bald cornball I thought you were doing an impression of.

  • OMNI

    Mike is often a kill-joy.

  • moisan4 .

    LOL. But was it a best of the worst performance, or just the worst?

  • fred

    I may need to rewatch it. I was a little high and tired the first time. Jeffrey Combs response to Jay was epic though.

  • fred

    They cut like butter. Pretty worthless.

  • fred

    You could vicariously live through their suffering.

  • fred

    BBC news likes the word “indefatigable”

  • OMNI

    It’s the word of the month. Brought to you by the Illuminati…

  • RedLetterMediumsDotCorn

    Iranian films of that time did have a ton of rape and boobs, well because at that time American movies could be shown uncensored in movie theaters. A lot of the directors…sorry, “directors” of that era have that style of boobs flappin about emblazoned in their films…sorry, “films”.
    But also they were a bunch of creepazoids.

  • OMNI

    Most movie makers are creeps. Lucas and Spielberg at least keep a more upstanding reputation. We’ll find out a la Hitchcock if Lucas or Spielberg were closet creeps.

  • Robotpals

    Cine Excel brought us FUTURE WAR, didn’t it? (I recognized Future War’s mullet cyborg in addition to Robert Z’Chin in the Pocket Ninjas clip.)

  • fred

    Thanks mario

  • Palpatine

    The video game character or the crazy Christian guy on YouTube?

  • Strelnikov

    Yes, Future War was one of theirs. This was one of those ’90s video companies who went from mediocre to schlock when DVDs got cheap in the 2000s. They gave us American Streetfighter (which had no Americans), lots of martial-arts films with actor Gary Daniels, a flick titled Bikini Motel, then they started down the Asylum route with flicks like 666: The Demon Child and Magma: Earth’s Molten Core and they never looked back. Cine Excel’s last DTV movie came out in 2011 (E.V.E. of Destruction, one of those semi sci-fi action flicks) but if financing were looser, they would be cranking out movies to this very day.

  • fred

    both?

  • fred

    Jackie Brown is really great on the re-watch. Does this make me a grown up?

  • fred

    The one the drunken peasants make fun of.

  • Variant

    I made this point about Jack a few weeks back when I made this account and everyone tore me apart. They declared my assessment inaccurate because RLM fans apparently want to be recognized apart from all other RLM fans. Meaning that I had apparently taken my assessment from Youtube, and that couldn’t be true to the comment section of the RLM site. Those are two different things! And the forum section is a whole other thing! What I said was that RLM’s fanbase seems to react very poorly to change. Every time there’s a new type of segment or a new person involved there’s always a lot of cynical, negative feedback. I get that around here a lot of the time much of it is sarcastic, but some of it comes off exactly as you described. And what you said about “outsiders” fits to exactly what I just described.

  • Variant

    That’s the joke, right?

  • Variant

    That would make a shit ton of sense. The bafflingly low production and erm… intelligence value is very prominent.

  • Mason K

    You guys failed to censor the nipple at 53:47

  • Ren1

    Last time I saw Gillian was on a McDonald’s commercial at my mom’s house.

  • Galactic Shawn

    Good episode. Are they drinking more to make it funnier cause it worked.

  • RLMkeepitup

    the movies were interesting this time, thankfully!

  • RLMkeepitup

    Good creative stuff in this one! May the goldmine of 80s/90s films shine on. who made that shirt for Rich? what a saint.

  • OMNI

    It’s a good movie.

  • Ren1

    Who’s excited for the ID4: Part 2: Redundance HitB?
    I know I am!

  • OMNI

    I am. I might even go see the Regurgance in the theater.

  • Ren1

    Let’s hope it entertains, in some way…

  • OMNI

    If I do see it in the theater, it will be the rare time when I fully know that I might walk out.

  • Palpatine

    I hope Mike and Jay tear it to shreads.

  • Variant

    That’s actually an on-point analysis. I have very sensitive ears so I do a lot of getting up and down to get to my volume knob when things are jarringly inconsistent.

  • fred

    Yeah it is really enjoyable on the second watch through. First time was like “muh dis is boring”

  • fred

    Oh how cute. I hope he fucking dies.

  • OMNI

    The first time I saw it I had gone to a rave the night/day before and got some speedy pills, so I was up all night and dealing with that. It gave Jackie Brown the edge it need to make it a great experience.

  • Ren1

    If it is deserving I have no doubt that they will.

  • OMNI

    or not..

  • Ren1

    A possibility of course. 🙂

  • …………………..NO!

  • fred

    eh — I was going through withdraw from pain pills. Not sure if that gives it an edge or not, probably more like the layers of time have allowed wisdom to flow into my cortex.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Thank you for pointing that out!

    That was the first nipple I’ve ever seen!

  • fred

    Mike — I actually LOVED this movie Jay
    Jay — uhh…Mike have you been sneaking booze into the –
    Mike — WHY you gotta be such a HATER Susaaaaane !!??

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Piece of shit frauds. Where in the hell is the Plinkett Space Cop review!?!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Aww, hell naw!

  • Ren1

    Skepticism is healthy.

  • fred

    The Tarantino universe has only one brand of cigarettes, if you look closely everyone literally smokes the red apples (with the caterpillar on them). What does this mean? OMNI — you explain sir.

  • fred

    Just watch the commentary. They feel too connected to their own work to look at it objectively. Two or three parts were funny, but ultimately Feeding Frenzy is better. Oprah.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Damn, I wanted my juicy, juicy Plinkett cat meat. Maury.

  • LameSame

    Red Letter Media helps me rationalize my drinking problem. It ain’t drinking alone if four other people are doing it on a YouTube video with ya!

  • LameSame

    I’m no OMNI, but maybe it means that particular brand found a way to be carcinogen-free? Everybody’s smoking, nobody gets cancer!

  • fred

    That’s a bright way of looking at things. I thought the pyramid thing would know the connection to all this — perhaps I misspoke.

  • LameSame

    But perhaps not…

  • LameSame

    nipples are fucking hottttt

  • LameSame

    It’s my personal favorite Tarantino film. AREN’T YOU GLAD YOU KNOW THIS?

  • LameSame

    Wow. Jesus Christ. It really is, though. That’s pretty goddamn amazing.

  • LameSame

    It’s a dark tale not meant for public forum.

  • LameSame

    #Downer

  • badfanfic101

    ‘Citizen Evans’! That’s the fan film we want to see!

  • OMNI

    yes

  • OMNI

    Yyeah that will give anything an edge. Just did that myself…

  • Can’t wait for the Herbert West/Scientist Man mash-up. If they don’t do it, I’ll draw it! @Wicked_Scotty

  • fred

    hmmmm

  • fred

    He’s not wasting another goddamn sunday.

  • Casey Samuels

    RLM is going to have damaged livers by the end of their lives. Ten to one bet. All of them.

  • Casey Samuels

    Sheesh, the drunken movie snobs, damaged livers looming in their futures from all that drinking they do. If anything this show is a commercial for AA.

  • Casey Samuels

    Piece of shit drunks.

  • Casey Samuels

    Probably won’t , they’ll be too wasted to do so.

  • Casey Samuels

    Drinking themselves under the table is probably not going to make him tear it good.

  • Casey Samuels

    FINALLY!!!

  • Casey Samuels

    Now watch the 70s movies that inspired it.

  • Casey Samuels

    So?

  • Casey Samuels

    Suffering, yeah probably from some nice hangovers from all the booze they drink. That and the liver disease they get later in life. The movies not so much.

  • Casey Samuels

    The best ending would be a total ending of this sad pathetic excuse for a drunken show.

  • LameSame

    How awesome would it be if they all switched over to pot and were just high all the time on their shows? It would mark a new era. I’d watch that. The internet could give it a little ringy title, like Half in the Baked or something. Let’s all ask the RLM guys to switch to that sweet MJ. Or are they too old to accept that it’s the better poison? What?

  • Casey Samuels

    Might be a marked improvement on their personalities, though I would still not be able to take them seriously. At least they wouldn’t be stupid, ugly drunks.

  • Palpatine

    I’m pretty sure Mike’s poor liver died years ago.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I do not take them for stoners typical or not – though I’m sure Jack’s done a few pumps and a bump on occasion at the clubs.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I’m not sure they could handle it but I’d watch a “Messed of the Worst” where they smoke some blonde hash and watch the rest of Neil Breen’s catalog with Max Landis doing an Uhuru style “fan” dance in the background.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Jacks admitted he tried it, Rich is almost anti-drug

  • Cream-A-Thon

    I’ll bet Rich gets high on duss before those minor baseball games he goes to and brings all the boys to his yard.

  • Casey Samuels

    He got a new one so quick?

  • Palpatine

    Mike killed a homeless man and stole it from him.

  • Casey Samuels

    He better watch out, that homeless guy’s liver might also be heavily damaged by all the liquor he’s been drinking.

  • LameSame

    Rich doesn’t drink, though! I give Rich and Jack (a good father and therefore only a social drinker) an increased lease on life. Mike and Jay will be dead, and then all we’ll have is PreRec and BotW’s with Jack, Josh, and Rich. And maybe that guy from Canada sometimes. IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT, MIKE?

  • LameSame

    Fewf, you are bringing a sort of levity I’ve only seen from The Wizard in that Shaq Meat episode. Enjoy my reference!

  • LameSame

    Max would never leave.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Max Landis is here, Jack Burton.

  • Seth

    You have the beady eyes of the hawk.

    Annual nipple sighting for 2016: check.

  • Seth

    Rich is emulating Mike’s NE accent and Mike is emulating Rich’s easy good looks. Jay is just emanating. Looks like a studio bromance is brewing.

  • ninja egyptologist

    Jack, way to go supporting your local radio station!

  • The prequels are great. Plinkett is wrong.

  • Anton Yelchin wont be doing stunts where he is going.

    #toosoon

  • bleurgh

    ID Resurgence was dumb and overstuffed, but I was never bored and thought it was much better than I had any expectation of if being.

  • LameSame

    His mission: to explore strange new worlds.

  • LameSame

    Do you guys think Jay hooked up with Max Laaaandis?

  • Chowderbatter

    RLM Marketing Department, hear me out…

    –> Best of the Worst branded movie throw pillows! <–

    Each pillow can have the face of a scowling Best of the Worst personality on the front and their catchphrase like "Fuck this movie" and "Noooooooo!" (Yeah, those need work) on the back. Each viewer can stock up with a half dozen or so to throw at the screen when the awful movie inevitably turns awful. Make them about 12" x 12". Nice throwing size.

    I want 5% of the profit for my awesome idea. That's reasonable. That, and a kiss on the forehead from Rich.

  • Chowderbatter

    In mother Russia, cars drive you!

  • Chowderbatter

    Hissssss!

  • You secure your cake hole, mister! Lucas rules!

  • He does now… in hell.

  • “I cian dio dis. I cian dio dis. Daa. Oh no, a car. Njet!”

    Anton’s last words before his personal 9/11.

  • bleurgh

    They went to each-others manhole.

  • Chowderbatter

    I’m taking Plinkett over Lucas all day, every day.

    That’s my credo (not Greedo).

  • OMNI

    You leave Jack Burton alone!

  • OMNI

    Speaking of that. I tried to watch beyond Reanimator last night, I couldn’t. So I put on Bride of the Reanimator and at least finished. They’re both pretty bad….

  • OMNI

    Maybe it’s a play on the phallic nature of cigarettes, the head is like an apple and smoking cigarettes is like a worm in your head coming out of the biggest hole.
    It seems Tarantino hates cigarettes.
    Like Snake Plissken uses “American Spirit” cigs, difference is John Carpenter loves cigarettes.
    It also seems that the number of times we see red apple ads or pack increases by one in a certain sequence of Tarantinos movies…I dunno…?

  • OMNI

    Darn right you’re no OMNI! Excellent deduction on what Red Apple Ciggs may be about.
    The mystery is killing me…

  • OMNI

    Rich always seems stoned, well a lot of the time…

  • LameSame

    WOAH! Ha-cha-cha-cha!

  • Casey Samuels

    You know peer pressure will be big for Rich and Jack finally just becoming raging drunks. Give it time.

  • Good bad or bad bad? I’m in the good bad camp.

  • Casey Samuels

    I can bring myself to bring some levity to this episode considering I only know one movie out of this batch and that’s Cyclone. The others, don’t give a rat’s ass about, unlike Doctor Butcher which I did. Which is why those Shaq Meat jokes didn’t work for me there.

    Deathstalker was nothing but a bunch of sorry rape jokes. Double Dragon was the best part of the episode by far.

  • LameSame

    Which begs the question: why was he in character? Why? I need to know! WHY WAS HE IN CHARACTER?

  • OMNI

    Beyond just sucked, hard. Bad-bad. Bride was horrible but enjoyable so yeah Good-bad.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Rich Evans and Jay “Bum-man” anime fuck pillows plz.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    I can tell you who won’t be hooking up with Max, the two girls his father’s negligence and greed killed.

    Max’s hair is always died because the ghost of Vic Morrow scared him so bad, he went grey early. “REVENGE. REVENGE…”-ghost of Vic Morrow (or Mrs. Plinkett)

  • LameSame

    Woah. Dark and unexpected. What evil presence doth haunt this comment section?

    Anyway, I thought it was a boy and a girl. Am I mistaken? I’m trying to Google the answer, here, but the newsies don’t seem to care about that particular detail. Just somewhat interested in knowing that factoid is all.

  • Chowderbatter

    This is for you.

    I made it myself from seashells.

  • Chowderbatter

    Fawking Klingon seen scurrying out from under his car fifteen minutes before “accident.”

  • fred

    He hates cigarettes? Was that in an interview somewhere because cigarettes are an excessive part in all his moopies.

  • fred

    You mean all the shitty shows with Pam Grier?

  • fred

    Depends on which hell it is — hopefully not the muslim hell

  • fred

    9/11 is great too — New York politicians are wrong.

  • fred

    I suspect he takes loads of Adderall.

  • fred

    is Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion a good moopie

  • fred

    That doctor lady in Planet Terror has the most beautiful face in the entire fucking world.

  • OMNI

    Well. he’s not going to omit cigarettes from is films based on whether he likes or dislikes them, if cigs are part of the story then some characters smoke. I’m assuming he doesn’t smoke, but hey I don’t fucking know…

  • fred

    Death Proof is worth rewatching — really all QT films are, but Death Proof tends to be written off as boring camp when it’s really a goddamned mastapeace.

  • Big McLargehuge

    It’s weird seeing them reviewing movies I learned about from Something Awful movie reviews from ages and ages and fucking ages ago. It’s like, oh, it’s actually a real thing.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I watched it more then once. It is without a doubt still mind numbingly boring but I guess unlike his pal Rodriguez with Planet Terror QT made an actual b-movie/grindhouse movie. Suffer through endless inane conversations of dumb,shallow,uninteresting characters just to get 15 minutes of awsome action at the end.

  • “I’ll crush you like a bug”

    -George Lucas, N*zi memorabilia collector.

  • They kicked off the new millennium real good. Glad to see they are doing so well. A few Europeans bites the dust, who cares.

  • You’ve Got Mail: The Anton Yelchin Story

    #toosoon

  • Chowderbatter

    Okay, here is my theory for movies like Dangerous Men…

    I had an uncle who worked for the CIA. He worked in a small town near a military base. He “ran” a “business,” but it was a front. He’d run this product to the base regularly, but he’d also disappear for weeks to travel abroad. This business — let’s call it a pizza parlor (it wasn’t) — was not the kind of business that required travel of any kind, never mind international travel. He’d make a “delivery” of one pizza out to the base himself and stay for half the day.

    There are, of course, other businesses that are just fronts for drugs or weapons or organized crime. Those offices, those strip malls, those places we pass that never seem to actually have anyone in there, and when you go decide to venture in, they seem genuinely surprised to get customers.

    I think this Dangerous Men film, and other incoherent, shitty, and absolutely incomprehensible collections of seemingly random footage are some sort of front, tax dodge, scam. Money laundering, foreign capital trying to conduct location work and other “side” work while filming. So, filming on location in Costa Rica, let’s say, while actually doing something completely different, illegal, and much more lucrative.

    It’s basically like that scene from Pulp Fiction where Keitel says: “We need to camouflage the interior of the car. We’re gonna line the front seat and the backseat and the floor boards with quilts and blankets. If a cop stops us and starts stickin’ his big snout in the car, the subterfuge won’t last. But at a glance, the car will appear to be normal.” These films only need to look like films from a glance. But anyone watching them all the way through (no one except our heroes at RLM) will spot the subterfuge.

    It’s also possible, of course, that many of them are just shitty, sincere works that reflect that complete lack of talent of their creator, and this is probably the case most of the time. But some of these films are made and not meant to be watched. They serve as resume fodder that maybe get watched 90 seconds at a time. “Oh, you’re a filmmaker?” “Yeah, watch this clip from this film I made.”

    The last bit is simply that many of these films are just ways for creepy old, and occasionally young, dudes to see tits, get laid. Like starting a band, or selling yourself as a nude photographer to some chick who works in your office.

    My point is this… most of these films were never made to be good, or art, or even sell. With a film like Dangerous Men, I think the most interesting story would be who this John Rad guy was, what he was doing the whole ridiculous time he was making this, and where he is now. Like the documentaries about Jodorowsky’s Dune or Gilliam’s Don Quixote, the story about the making of this film is likely much, much more entertaining than the film itself.

    Idea for next great RLM show… The Story Behind the Shit.

  • fred

    They had taste — going after the suits, instead of crashing into Harlem or the Bronx.

  • cucadandi

    I would love for this theory to be true.

  • cucadandi

    At least he went out doing what he loved. Getting his mail.

  • cucadandi

    Let’s be honest here. How much worse would Harlem or Bronx be able to look from a measly plane crash? If the plane was filled with explosives, sure, maybe.

  • nametaken

    too long, too self indulgent for what it is trying to do.

  • Sheriff Mitchell

    “Independence Day: Farts and Awkward Shuffling.”

    That’s what my theater experience was like.

  • LameSame

    I love that show idea. Of course… if your theory proves true, the guys will end up mysteriously dead shortly into production.

  • CapedBaldy

    Oh man, A Mike-less episode. I liked seeing them enjoy the cyclone stunts. Nice boobs too.

  • fred

    well you’re just a poop head. so there.

  • fred

    inb4

  • fred

    I don’t remember if I was stoned or not — but I payed closer attention and thoroughly enjoyed every second (2nd time watching). The first time was boring for me too, but I still loved the Sheriff and Son #1 — and the kickass car maiming/chasing and the beat-down at the end with Kurt Russel wailing like a stuck pig “Careful my arm’s broken!!” I argue that it’s the same level of boring as Jackie Brown – boring until you give it an honest look (in the right mood perhaps). It’s an acquired taste.

  • Logan Murphy

    I have viewed all of these episodes and even recommended the show quite often. However i do want to say that not only was the content entertaining but the chemistry between the four of you amazing. You all seemed like you had a great time and I for one had a great time with you…

  • Cream-A-Thon

    They are our TV friends. Rejoice, cousins!

  • Casey Samuels

    Coffy, Shitty? Foxy Brown ,Shitty? Friday Foster, shitty? The Big Doll House? The Big Bird Cage?

    I mean I might give you Sheba, Baby. I would even might give you a meh on Scream Blacula Scream and Women in Cages.

    Shows by the way? These weren’t on TV.

  • fred

    I don’t watch TV.

  • Casey Samuels

    You obviously don’t think either.

  • Dendo Star

    I think you guys are great!

    ………that’s all I got.

  • Dendo Star

    Wait that’s not all I got dangit!

    Bewbs!

  • Jon

    Quite possibly one of the best sessions of BotW 🙂

  • Variant

    Code for “I got lucky once and I’ve been riding it out ever since”

  • Variant

    Where did you get this great information? Can you also confirm the “film making as a front” theory?

  • Strelnikov

    Vanity Fair did an article last year; they spoke to the daughter. I can’t give you a link because RLM has rigged their Disqus to reject html links, but the title is “It was Supposed to be Bigger than E.T.. It Wasn’t. But Dangerous Men is Finally Having its Moment.”, the article author is Eric D. Snider.

    This movie is NOT a front; it was made by an Iranian guy who shot it in the 1980s and kept tinkering with it for years. There have been “front” films (The Crawling Terror, the unfinished sci-fi film Argo, I’m sure some porn movies), but Dangerous Men is as real as Manos, the “Hands” of Fate and just as awful.

  • Strelnikov

    Nope….”John Rad” (Jahangir Salehi Yeganehrad) was just an Iranian guy who made a bad action film the worst way possible (not willing to go into debt to make the movie quick, not using actual scriptwriters, shooting, then scrapping half of the film, then re-shooting the last part.) You can’t talk to John Rad, he died a few years ago, but this movie is not a front. I agree that there have been fake movie companies and film projects that deliberately never got off the ground, or produced absolute crud (The Crawling Terror was one of those) to “prove” they made a movie, but Dangerous Men isn’t it.

  • Variant

    He reminds me of someone I knew too but I can’t quite put my finger on it. Maybe a combination of people. Max Landis also reminds me of a lot of people I went to school with which is why I had difficulty digesting all the unnecessary hate for him. I mean, people got pretty nasty. He’s just a person. I never heard of his tweets he made until RLM brought them up so his introduction was the first I’d heard of any of it anyway.

  • OMNI

    I like Max. I’ve even had dreams with him in them..

  • stinkman

    Shaq cameo when?

  • Variant

    I was also wondering if the creators of “Zaat” were familiar with that scene.

  • chris bidwell

    even better, in the virtual reality scene in pocket ninja, they used the music from the Raider of the Lost Ark Atari 2600 game

  • Variant

    Same! I even finally got someone to watch this show with me while we drink booze! One thing I’ve noticed is that it’s not only entertaining, it also perpetuates conversation as it plays in the background. Their group discussions have a very real life affect on my interactions with other people.

  • Kilana

    Best BotW ever! Did Combs ever get back to you??

  • What is great is that Jeffrey Combs responds to that tweet.

  • Variant

    I believe his response was “We turned it up to 11… just like the Spinal Tap amps!”

  • Variant

    That’s still equally as entertaining though, given the level of ineptness involved.

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