Best of the Worst: Lady Terminator, Lost in Dinosaur World, and Low Blow

July 1, 20153,007 Comments

Colin from Canada joins the gang to watch a terminator film, a film about a theme park filled with dinosaurs, and a movie where an old man punches people.

Filed in: Best of the Worst

  • You Got the Problem

    I shook my fists and went “GRYEAH!!!” at my perfectly timed refresh. I don’t even care if I’m not quite first, just seeing 0 comments makes me feel like I get first crack at a new treasure. Enjoy everybody 🙂

  • hahareturn

    Once again, you win! You are Le Chiffre of forgotten internet forum firsties!

  • Kirke

    IS THIS REAL LIFE OR IS THIS JUST FANTASY?!?!?!?!?!

  • hahareturn

    Do you think Colin knows he’s gay? You know who he’d be perfect for? Mike!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    A movie where an old man punches people.
    I live this movie.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Liar!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    ♪ Caught in a landslide
    No escape from reality
    Open your eyes
    Open your eyes and see ♪

  • TapewormBike

    Annnnnd my night shift has gotten good all of a sudden. See you at 3am.

  • omitted

    Racist!(?)

  • omitted

    Rich has been reading the cumment section, me thinks…

  • “Hey, forget the sandwich” is a meme, now

  • Ripping it now.
    Ready for my 90 minute train journey back to London, this should make it more enjoyable.

  • Camden Clark

    It’s 5AM and I was just about to sleep! JFC

  • omitted

    I also have a vagina-snake. I call it a penis.

  • Sully

    MOTHERFUCKIN’-CONNNNN-MOTHERFUCKIN’-TENNNTTTT!!!!

  • Red Skeleton

    “I’ve seen terrible movies… terrible movies that you’ve seen. But you have no right to call me a fraud. You have a right to cancel your patreon donation. You have a right to do that… but you have no right to judge me. It’s impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what bad movies are. Bad movies…. Bad movies have a face… and you must make a friend of bad movies. Bad movies and straight-to-video are your friends. If they are not, then they are enemies to be feared. They are truly enemies! I remember when I was with Special Forces… seems a thousand centuries ago. We went into a camp to teach some children fire safety. We left the camp after we had taught them how to be cool about fire safety, and this old man came running after us and he was crying. He couldn’t see. We went back there, and they had come and burned down all their grandmothers’ houses. There they were in a pile. A pile of burned down houses. And I remember… I… I… I laughed, I laughed like some hyena. I wanted to tear my teeth out; I didn’t know what I wanted to do! And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it… I never want to forget. And then I realized… like I was shot… like I was shot with a ghettoblaster… a ghettoblaster right through my forehead. And I thought, my God… the genius of that! The genius! The will to do that! Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure. And then I realized they were stronger than we, because they could stand that these were not monsters, these were men… trained film makers. These men who made movies with their hearts, who had families, who had children, who were filled with love… but they had the strength… the strength… to do that. If I had a staff of ten of those men, we could make Space Cop tomorrow. You have to have men who are moral… and at the same time who are able to utilize their primordial instincts to make terrible movies without feeling… without passion… without judgement… without judgement! Because it’s judgement that defeats us.”

    http://dimitartenev.com/wp-con
    – Colonel Richard E. Evans

  • omitted

    “I’m an andro-apologist!”

  • Tinkererer

    A Dimetrodon isn’t actually a dinosaur, so that kid was 100% right in walking off to fight dinosaurs

  • Red Skeleton

    Oooh! Lost in Dinosaur World! @Palpatine, that’s the movie I was trying to find for… uh… you know the thing.

  • Kirke

    *hisses* Mike/Jay OTP 4EVERY FIGHT ME!

  • omitted

    Stuff in your hole?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Needs more MOTHERFUCKIN’.

  • omitted

    “Get it off, Rich!”
    – Jay Bauman

    *me

  • Palpatine

    It’s a miracle!

  • Palpatine

    You mean the stag party at tOmy’s?

  • You Got the Problem

    Nothing about that com- Wait, you’re a troll right?

    Lame.

  • Fred Frink

    Holy fuck! You stinking hack frauds, thank you so much for the content. Please, just any jibber jabber will do. The first half of Star wars xmas special is one of the best videos you’ve ever made.

    You guys sitting round chewing the fat, while we watch on in some weird, demented, vicarious way. Please sir, may i have some more?

  • Domo

    I can tell, just from the slow zoom of Rich laughing, that this was edited by Mike.

    Their love/hate relationship is real!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    What happened to their viewing room??

  • Fred Frink

    Its a festivus

  • They fucked it with their dicks.

  • Domo

    It looks like they just adjusted everything one wall to the left, and replaced their couches while re-arranging their stuff so light wouldn’t constantly shine in their faces.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    The return of Colin!!! I don’t think I can wait nine hours to watch this. As soon as my manager arrives, I’m going home sick.

  • omitted

    Dollar store Palpatine?!
    Mind blown!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Jiggery-pokery?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Again, I wasn’t invited?

  • Fred Frink

    They can jibber jabber about director’s jiggery pokery

  • omitted

    *rimming
    Wait, you’re not my Andrew!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Applesauce!

  • Domo

    There’s not enough copies of Ishtar on your table, guys.

    I think you’re gonna need more Ishtar movies.

  • Sully

    Don’t we all.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I can’t even get a copy of ISHTAR from Netflix because of these hoarders!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Moms says, “Maybe.”

  • omitted

    What about the Nukies?!

  • instant relief

    At we least we all know now what took them so long.
    They moved the fucking couch.

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • WrongWithYourFace

    But were the couches red before?

  • instant relief

    They’re just like Batman and the Joker.

  • Domo

    What type of RLM fan are you?!

  • tOmy`

    What’s wrong with your f-

    Oh.

    #YeaThisWillGetOldSoon #MaybeAlreadyHappened

  • Well well well. Yesturday I hated you guys but then you posted new content… AND TOTALLY REDEEMED YOURSELF.

    I think I can go one more day full party mode!Lets see what this fat body can do!
    ♫When it’s time to party we will always party hard. Party hard party hard♫

  • omitted

    You’re drunk again?!

  • omitted

    “the fucking couch”
    Do you know something I don’t?!

  • No but I’m working on it…at work.

    #HAHAHHAHAAHHA

    No I cant really handle booze. Partying for me is two beers and a glass of wine. I cant handle hard liqour

  • omitted

    Colin? Nah, he’s just Candyasslandian. They all seem that way.

  • omitted

    Ja kehtaat väittää itteäs suomalaiseks…
    *facepalm*

  • omitted

    No. Period.

  • Saunassa minä miehyyteni näytän!

  • Domo

    I think they’re wonderful.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Didn’t they realize that the “magic sword” was the vagina snake knife from the beginning?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Oh… That explains it.

  • omitted

    Too many convoluted phallic symbols, I guess.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    That’s where all straight magic swords are scabbarded. The vagina.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I- I- umm… It’s been so long since last time! My crocodile brain is turning into monster mush.

  • I could tell it was edited by Mike and the credits proved it. Also:

    “NONE OF US THINK THAT PARKINSON’S DISEASE IS FUNNY.

    IT IS HILARIOUS.”

  • I didn’t notice the experimental editing when we watched it. But I wasn’t paying attention for most of the time.

  • Kirke

    I agree on the SW special. One of my favorite episodes.

  • tOmy`

    I like to see my hack frauds comfortable.

  • Kirke

    Pa, I AM YOUR MANAGER!

  • Dun-dun-dun.

  • The difference is Mike is the evil psychotic one while Rich has the laugh.

  • SOMEONE SHOP IT NAO

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    It’s 9 o’clock. You should’ve been here an hour ago. Now I can tell all the lawyers that you’re on the internet hangin’ at the webzone when you should be at the office supervising your slack employees.

    I’ve got you, now, Mr. You Can’t Have Thursday Before the 3rd Off Smarty-Pants.

  • Here’s an all access card, Pa. https://cytu.be/r/themanhole

  • Like Icare
  • Like Icare
  • Sully

    These men are frauds…

  • Like Icare

    Check you privilege.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Are those vultures?

  • Kirke

    *sweats heavily* Just go home. Just leave. I give you the permission. Do not talk to anyone just go.

  • Like Icare

    You fuck that Mercedes up LoBlo! You fuck it up good.

  • A dog named Pedro

    Sorry I have a life, but I haven’t checked these comments for a while so maybe I’m missing something.

    What’s up with Jesse?

  • Sully

    The cinematography involved in the destruction of The Lost World Jurassic World Lost in Dinosaur World is more impressive than the video itself.

    http://i.imgur.com/DAz2I9T.jpg

  • niceguy1xmil

    Here I randomly check the RLM page for an oldie to watch. This is is brand new. Thanks crew, you always blow my mind and oxygenate my wombspace.

  • omitted

    @WrongWithYourFace:disqus already asked why the couches are red…

  • whip

    I actually had a weird, unexpected dream last night, that I was hanging with Mike & Jay. Next day, new content. Wow. Proof I’m psychic!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Special this week…You can get an avocado facial at half-price with every oxygenation.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Ew.
    I’ll allow it.

  • Cool. Another reason to live today 🙂

  • Like Icare

    They didn’t want to spend the entire winter summer tied to it I guess…

  • Like Icare

    Yes.

  • omitted

    As much as I’d like to bask in the afterglow of new cumtent with you, I’ve promised I’d go see Ahnuld’s Genitals Terminator: Genisys with a friend tonight. Where are my dragons?!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i got half a bottle of rum… *clicks on play…

  • Like Icare

    We all live it at some point.

    Except James Dean. No seatbelts. And the other guy didn’t move like he was supposed to.

  • Sully
  • Like Icare

    AAH-AAAH! He saved every one of us!

  • Sully
  • Andrew Thompson.

    Well i am sorry. for somethings….

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i was eating nachos…. my bad.

  • What are you talking about? IT’S THE ONLY REASON TO LIVE.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i need more rum!

  • omitted

    *cum

  • Andrew Thompson.

    both!

  • Like Icare
  • WrongWithYourFace
  • WrongWithYourFace

    It is it?

  • Like Icare

    You know… they should auction off/sell strips of that 35mm Ishtar trailer.
    I’m guessing many some people suckers would buy that for a dollar.

    They might even get 20.000 big ones for it.
    http://www.tourprom.ru/site_media/images/banknote/24/aed-1000.jpg

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    ♫ Tie your Mother down
    Tie your Mother down
    Lock your Daddy out of doors
    I don’t need him nosing around
    Tie your Mother down
    Tie your Mother down
    Give me all your love tonight ♫

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I’m starting to think you’ve just taught yourself a bunch of Finnish catchphrases. In reality you don’t speak Finnish at all!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i hate prawns.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I spent four years studying a foreign language, but I could never Finnish.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Just saw Terminator Genysis at the cinema here in Ballarat, Australia. Just letting y’all know, this is gonna be one hell of a Half in the Bag.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Huh, where’ve I seen Lady Terminator before…

  • Kirke

    Mike will probably like it.
    oooooooooooooooooooooooh no she ‘idnt

  • THEY WATCHED US WATCH IT.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Hahaha I’m just gonna go ahead and call it now, Terminator 3.5: Rise of Genysis

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I sympathize, but it’s not really my problem, you see.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    I wanted to use a Terminator quote to reply to you, but I’m kinda sad from what I just watched. It’s not a terrible movie, it’s just a straight up C-grade, not good enough OR bad enough to fully enjoy.

  • Percy Gryce

    Did you see that shelf of Nukies? That’s a whole lot of Nukie.

  • Cream-A-Thon

    MIKO!!!!!!!!!

  • Ironmotion ®

  • Andrew Thompson.

    They did it all for the Nukie.

  • Like Icare

    Nukie it from the orbit. Only way to be sure.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    It mostly comes out at night. Mostly.

  • ive seen LOW BLOW like 10 times. super awesome. onset im sure they gave The HIT LIST “Jan Michale Vincent” treatment where they were propping him up for shots (seated or not) all thru the film to Mitchell….but Mitchell’s awesome 🙂

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Yes. This. every copy!

  • Like Icare

    C-grade is a step up from the McGerminator.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Well, prepare for Terminator: Into Reference.

    …..you see, I did, like a thing there….

  • Cream-A-Thon

    Jesse has returned to her home planet.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Len, you have a photographic memory for these movies. I am intrigued and disturbed at the same time by this.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    You’re in Ballarat? and didnt yank the USB from the projector and throw it down a mineshaft?

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Lady Terminator was awesome on the Manhole. I spent the whole time calling scenes that hadn’t happened yet, and I called everything to the tee. Creamathon, Red Skull, they were all there….

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    The cinema here is pretty good, and just $11 for 3D movies. That’s great value in Oz, as you know Andy. I was too busy watching the train wreck of a movie in front of me, with more time travel cluster-fuck than all 3 Back to the Future movies combined.

  • i have LOW BLOW on like a 10 pack dvd set with a film from 1990 called TOP COP….watch it. just saying. youre welcome.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    $11! shit its almost worth driving the 400kms to Ballarat.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Will do mate. If it doesn’t live up to the hype, I’ll be having stern words with you.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Hear about that theft from Hoyts in Melbourne? They stole over $3,000 worth of candy bar items, including 2 large popcorns and a medium soda.

  • sepiajack

    Happy Canada Day!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    yeah but the 2 Gold Class tickets cost them $4000… was it worth it?

  • LoveSW_Prequels

    hells yeah BoW rocks

  • Andrew Thompson.

    why would canada have a day? what would they celebrate?

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    It’s not worthit for the seats they got, also, the Gold Tickets were for Grown Ups 3.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Being on top.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    And Len will punch your stern words in the face and laugh.
    #JustSayin’

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    I’m not Rich Evans. I’m Grizzly mo’fo Nazi hunting Adams.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    You got to think Equatorial. everythings better in the middle.

  • Rumblepuss

    Meanwhile, at the Tech-Noir …

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Speaking of Grizzlies, there’s a Wheel-of-the-Worst-worthy moopie in the cinemas right now, called INTO THE GRIZZLY MA…I’m sorry…JURASSIC WORLD.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Now Mike is going to hunt you down and throw beer bottles at you.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    None of them will break, so I’ll be alright.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    But you know he’ll hit the same place twice. That’s gonna hurt.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Alright, how many did you send them this time?

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    There was a butcher called the Haus of Meat where I did my army training. I always used to think whenever I saw that name, “man, Haus of Meat would make a great name for a gay bar.”

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I’m not as soft as people think. I was on this very webzone one night when Len stopped by before, and he taught me to be tough.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Who’s Jesse?

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    So are the gang in Low Blow taking down the cult from The Simpsons? Do they collect “leader beans”?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    most brain injuries from ‘bottling’ incidents are caused by bottles that didn’t break.
    the rest are from broken glass being shoved through your eye into your brain…

  • Like Icare

    and a medium soda.
    Gotta watch them calories…

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    I hear that’s also the cure for erasing Jurassic World from your brain.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Or a fork.

  • Like Icare

    Jesse is a friend.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    I found a magic potion which did the trick. It’s something called Bleach, worked a charm too.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    He’s always been a good friend of mine. But lately something’s changing and it’s hard to define.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Na,na,na,a,nana….?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I wish I had his girl, though.

  • Like Icare

    They are two messengers of god!

    Too soon?

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Cameron Mitchell is: a desperate alcoh- I uh, I mean, the Leader.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Bundy is better. but probably more toxic.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    No the answer was batman. now its time for the lightning round.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    I prefer Bundy Red. I never used to drink rum, but then, I joined the army and had to hang out with all those Queenslanders and NSW’s types at State of Origin. You bet your ass you better drink that rum or you’re going home with no teeth.

    Ironically, rum seemed to lead most people into going home in the divvy van.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Put it in ‘H’!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “but Mitchell’s awesome :)”

    Thanks!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    It’s all about the NUKIE.

  • Like Icare

    The point is probably moo.

    You know… like cow’s opinion.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=8bo54wE_rJU#t=26

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I’ll allow it.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    thats the right answer!
    if you had have asked about the “lightning round” i would have said.
    “Thats where we strap you to the top off the Poppet Head at Sovereign Hill and wait for lightning.”

  • Lt Hurwitz

    They need at least 3234423 copies.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    You know I once ran over 300 hectares on a single tank of Kerosene.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    one must always go home, “In the BACK of a Divi van!”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Happy Canada, D’eh? I invited Colin from Canada over to my Nation Celebration BBQ but it seems he was too busy with this. I also invited Jim but he was a bit upset I compared his face to Lucas’. Oh well, I invited the rest of Canada to my BBQ. Hopefully not all 63 of them are busy.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Hahaha it’s an ‘old Australian proverb’ right there.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Rich Evans: #ParkinsonShaming

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    In reality [no Nation Celebration BBQ] my girlfriend is on a trip to Montreal for Comic Con and I’ve got no one to really celebrate Canada Day with, so I’m going to my professor’s office to assemble 3 IKEA shelves for money. He’s paying me $15/hour and we assumed it would take 5 hours.

    In retrospect this sounds like an odd sexual euphemism.

  • Sully

    They get everywhere.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    oh! canada! your kinda to polite!… i got nothing.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    And the smell! I’d rather kiss a wookie!

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • WrongWithYourFace

    I made some important observations: http://i.imgur.com/wabvQES.jpg

  • Like Icare

    There has been a really… bizarre trend in Serbia and in the Serbian parts of Bosnia of calling butchers “Meat Boutiques”.
    http://www.butikmesaisidorovic.com/

    It is NOT a word, nor has it ever been, commonly in use to describe a shop which butchers, sells or prepares meat.
    All I know is, that some time after the war “meat boutiques” started popping up.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Americas Most wanted Presenter: “And this was his last contact… Have you have seen Michel “Taco” Nash? call the number on your screen now. …”

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You too?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Throw away the instructions, though, and you can get it done in a quarter of the time. That’s like extra bank!

  • neonlymex

    Holy shit, Jay is a cheese burger.

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Lt Hurwitz

    They talk about Lady Terminator for 35 hours.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Army? So are you gonna Pukka?

  • Percy Gryce

    I’ve got two more–but I haven’t sent them in yet.

  • Percy Gryce

    And every minute was worth it.

  • Rumblepuss

    I am in complete agreement, although I feel that this is unrelated to my previous comment. It was not my understanding that Tech Noir was a gay bar, although I will admit that my knowledge of Tech Noir is limited to the fact that it’s on Pico Boulevard, and is apparently a favored hangout of Lt. Trexler.

    Also, did you know that the guy who plays Lt. Trexler also plays Captain Terrell in Wrath of Kahn? I had no idea!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Pukka, Seppo… Enough with the slang!

  • tOmy`

    I joined somewhere in the half and it was indeed wonderful.

  • tOmy`

    Investigative journalism at its best.

  • Rumblepuss

    So this is in some way unique to Serb culture? That makes it even weirder. We need to Ask a Serb!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Puckapunyal, in Victoria is the main training base for the Australian Army.

    We shorten everything… soooo.
    Pucka, witch sounds like ‘fuck her’ in Australian.
    and my bad Pukka was a typo.

  • Like Icare

    http://dinosaurworld.com/florida/other-activities/

    BONEYARD
    Grab some tools and start excavating! After your tour through the
    Exploration Cave, you should know the proper way to uncover the 27-foot
    skeleton from under the sand.

    SKELETON GARDEN
    Walk around the Skeleton Garden and see life size replica models of
    dinosaur skeletons. The Skeleton Garden also includes a paleontological
    field work site. Here you will learn a bit more about how
    paleontologists uncover fossils in a field work setting.

    TOUCH & TELL
    Think you know everything about dinosaurs? Think again! Stick your
    hand inside a hole and try to guess the dinosaur you feel without sight.

    Hey kids! Wanna stick your hand in my hole and feel my dinosaur! It will be great fun!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Pucka? I don’t even Noa!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    on ya mate!

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    Actually, it’s Pooka, for camp Kapooka in Wagga, the actual training location.

  • Like Icare

    I think that it is originally probably French.
    http://www.poitevins.fr/la-boutique-a-viande
    Cause, well… there it just means “shop”.

    And at least some people in Brazil thought that it was a good idea.
    http://boutiquedacarne.com.br/

    But locally, around the Balkans, that trend seems to come from Serbia.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    depends on the joke.
    The jokes about Swan Island are the funniest but we are not allowed to post them.

  • Like Icare
  • WrongWithYourFace

    That’s what the Touch & Tell dinosaurs said to the kids after they were done.

  • LADY TERMINATOR, starring the fabulous Tim Curry!

  • RLMkeepitup

    you guys know lady terminator will be better than genisys and probably make more sense, even though both rip off each scene or plot point in the original terminator.

  • Booger

    I know I’m crazy but every shot of them watching the movies made me think of this:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJwS1mfj6j4

  • Uncle Sporkums

    Well done gentlemen. Now, someone needs to find a copy of Mr. Mitchell’s only directorial effort, The Dream of Hamish Mose.

  • RLMkeepitup

    “in 100 years I’ll have my revenge on your great grand daughter!” this line is even better than the one in mortal kombat annihilation.

  • Like Icare

    I’ll just leave this here.

    http://i.imgur.com/rES5X4H.jpg

  • Brack to the Future

    C’mon you lazy fucks, give us a Half In The Bag on that suckfest retcon reboot tournament of lies called Genisys.

  • Like Icare

    They’ve named the training camp after a 6′ 3.5″ invisible humanoid rabbit?

    http://focusfeaturesmedia.com/uploads/image/mediafile/1270237592-31feb113a17e5bf03ebc7e8dd68185b1/x950.jpg

  • instant relief

    So, Dick the birthday boy caused Snow White and the Nine Eleven?

  • Like Icare

    What can I say, I feel so dirty when they start talking cute.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Hello 🙂 Welcome to Dinosaur World 😐

  • Brack to the Future

    At $170 million in production for Genisys, I heard they spent some cash developing an app for that.

    Codename “Total Recall,” it takes a PDF script and shreds it, then reassembles it with any number of filters, like “emo,” “asian,” “sympathetic to old people.” It’s going to be huge.

  • Brack to the Future

    Flashback… “Daddy, that pizza bear smells like tinkle. I don’t want to take a Polaroid!”

  • instant relief

    I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind. There was something so pleasant about that place. Even your emotions had an echo in so much space. Wait, what?

  • instant relief

    Welcome… to Toys’R’Us!

  • Like Icare
  • Brack to the Future

    Oh Canada!
    You’re lame and kind of bland…

  • instant relief

    Sooo… JFK is really Hitler?

  • instant relief

    With chest hair on it.

  • Like Icare

    Toys’R’Us never came up with the idea to charge kids $12.95 for the privilege of cracking some rocks.

    http://dinosaurworld.com/florida/geode-cracker/

    Some prisons used to do that… but not TRU as far as I know.

  • Brack to the Future

    Michael Biehn forever! #notmykyle

  • instant relief

    I can arrange that.
    How’s the weather on your little prison island, Yahtzee?

  • instant relief

    Sup, pedobear?

  • Like Icare

    Not even close.

    Everyone is everyone. Hidin in plain sight.
    http://wellaware1.com/officials.shtml

    Everything you ever thought you knew about history – well it sucks to be you!
    http://wellaware1.com/tesla.shtml

  • Like Icare

    Not even close.

    Everyone is everyone. Hidin in plain sight.
    http://wellaware1.com/officials.shtml

    Everything you ever thought you knew about history – well it sucks to be you!
    http://wellaware1.com/tesla.shtml

  • Brack to the Future

    “Lady Terminator by Vagisil. Wipe out yeast infections once and for all!”

  • Sully

    Bill Paxton forever!

    Pound Sign: NotMyPunkLeader

  • Brack to the Future

    Being America’s mild and soothing hat.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Lillian Gish forever!
    #Wait,What?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Too soon.

  • AreyouaNazi? Isthatyourelf?

    I just saw Genysis, wait till you see that schlock.

  • Like Icare

    William S. Burroughs used to do that.

    Then again he was on drugs most of the time.
    Remember kids, if you wanna kill your wife and get away with it – do it in Mexico then hightail it back to USA and pretend it was all an accident.

    And don’t forget to write it all in a book.
    Makes for a great “Would I write it in a book if it really happened that way?” excuse… I mean alibi.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    So, Low Blow stole the car comedy from Sledge Hammer, or was it the other way around? Both are from 1986.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    And she’s lovin’ him with that body.
    I just know it!

  • Sully
  • tOmy`

    I came up with a great pickup line:

    “There is something about your eyes that makes me wanna grab your boobs.”

  • Like Icare

    She was great in Birth of a Nation!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXlWwYNCO-8

    Too soon?

  • Clifford T. Hall

    What’s with the interlacing in the movie clips? Get that fixed for the next episode.

  • Sully

    Too late.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Hey Palpatine, Cameron stole your sex robe.

  • Jean-François Martel

    i don’t even know where Jai Courtney came from… he just appeared one day and he was in everything and i still have no idea who he is

  • Jean-François Martel

    the franchise died when The Sarah Connor Chronicles was canceled. everything after that is a fever dream

  • Sully

    Courtney looks more like a T-800 than a half-starved survivor of a nuclear holocaust.

  • Like Icare

    No, no, no…
    KKK knights come just in time with their sperm-helmets to save white women from having their heads bashed in just so they would not fall into hands of Negros.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=302YMeiDSrI#t=11298

    See? It’s a happy ending!

    And then Jesus shows up.

  • Sully

    Now that you mention it, Jesus couldn’t show up soon enough.

  • Sully

    This is the exact moment the franchise died for me…

    http://cdn2.gamefront.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/SR4-GatHell7.jpg

  • Like Icare

    “They are so deep, mystical and inviting, like whirlpools that are drawing me in, I fear I will fall inside and drown in their depths unless I hold onto something firm with both my hands. SAVE ME! Save me from your eyes!”

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    He’d be This Year’s Sam Worthington, if Chris Pratt didn’t already have that all sewn up.

    #WhyActWhenYouGotMuscles?

  • Like Icare

    Well… you know how he is… hanging around with everyone along the way…
    It took him 11 stations just to get nailed.

    There’s no way he’d make the Kessel Run in under 12 parsecs that way.

  • Like Icare

    Now I know why you cry.

  • Sully

    I’ve gotta admit… that’s better than, “Is that my hand down your pants, or are you upset and crying for no reason?

  • HourGlass

    Can’t believe that shitty charmander meme lasted long enough for Jack to get a shirt.

  • tOmy`

    “Oh come on, stop calling police… not again…”

  • Sully

    That’s the kind of work ethic you get when you hire the boss’ son.

  • Like Icare

    Nah… He’s poor man’s Sam Worthington and Shia LaBeouf for the not-children.

    Remember him as the McClane Jr?
    How about as Werner Herzogs goon in Jack Reacher?
    Or that guy in that “-urgent” serial?
    Surely you remember him from “I, Frankenstein”?
    http://38.media.tumblr.com/cfb7c829819f4d6ca8158befc8bf2a9e/tumblr_n2r7zpPvV61s5k8ilo1_500.gif

  • Whiskey Jack

    They should do a TV version of this (or better yet, a Wheel of the Worst version, where they pick a random season of some show and binge watch it). Maybe just shows that lasted one or two seasons, plenty of those to choose from. Galactica 1980, Earth 2, Terra Nova would all fit together for one BotW, though they aren’t totally bad, of course.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I don’t remember him from anything, because I haven’t seen him in anything. He’ll be all-brand new to ruin my eyes if I see SUICIDE SQUAD.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Your viewing room looks so much more awesome. The last one looked like the viewing room of a sex dungeon.

  • Booger

    Maybe I’m crazy. Maybe you’re crazy.

  • sepiajack

    Because it is awesome!

  • Like Icare

    Well… I’ll admit, I only saw him in Jack Reacher – I saw that he IS in them other movies though, through trailers and such.

    And I was like… Why is he in this movie?
    Is there a demand for a bulkier version of Dane Cook with LaBeouf’s acting skills who keeps his mouth shut and doesn’t try to be “funny” or have a breakdown on set or off it?
    http://cdn.sheknows.com/articles/dane-cook-live.jpg

    Oh… Wait… That actually makes sense.

  • Jean-François Martel

    oh my god, YEESS!! have them watch Revolution, No Ordinary Family, Dracula (which i enjoyed but mostly because it was such a goddamn mess)

  • Whiskey Jack

    I swear to god, I stared at that pic for a good thirty seconds before I realized it was Arnie’s thumbs up, and not T-1000’s melting head. I need to clean my glasses, I guess.

  • Bubs

    Wait a second. Didn’t we watch Lady Terminator in The Manhole? Now these frauds are ripping off our ideas!

  • Whiskey Jack

    Brimstone (which I liked, though barely remember), American Gothic, and… I don’t know, John Doe, I guess. Can’t remember any other cancelled supernaturally shows off hand. Did they make a show of those TNT The Librarian movies, or did I just dream that?

  • Jean-François Martel

    doesn’t have to be supernatural stuff tho. It’s just what cpomes to mind first for me because it’s the stuff i watch.

  • Whiskey Jack

    Wait, Revolution was that Post-Apoc show with the power going out, right? Was that meant to be a spinoff/ripoff of the Dies the Fire books, or did it just look like one. I only saw the commercials.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    He looks like The Dude Who Plays Thor. In this Pop Culture climate, that’s enough.

  • Jean-François Martel

    i don’t know, but all i remember was how fucking dumb it was. I think i lasted 3 or 4 episodes

  • Broiling Point

    Low Blow has the super power to turn people’s head into cakes. Why hasn’t Marvel re-made this in 3-D yet?

  • Whiskey Jack

    Well, Brimstone and American Gothic were supernatural. I was just trying to keep the three shows to a basic theme, since that’s how these BotW episodes usually work.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Low Blow totally out-stomped Ryan Gosling.

  • Like Icare
  • Jean-François Martel

    it’s weird, he’s not even hot. At least not enough to warrant Hollywood pushing him on us like they are doing.

  • Like Icare

    Yeah but Gosling’s car works without having to be hit with a crowbar.

  • Jean-François Martel

    he’s got those crazy eyes going on

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Big, dumb, white, blonde.
    They all look the same to me.

  • Jean-François Martel
  • dollar store cashier wife

    Yes.This.

  • Jean-François Martel

    manhole

  • We learn so much watching this.
    It’s not spelled Dinamation, it’s spelled Dinamation ®

    #incaselawyers

  • Jean-François Martel

    you’re a sick individual

  • Broiling Point

    I kind of like the old room. It had this very barren feel, complete blankness that accented what so many of the films championed. A mediocre environment that pervaded the truly painful sessions where there is no escape. Oh you want to look at some poster on the wall to bide your time until the movie is over? Forget that, there is only this television. It’s you and some other people trapped into watching this crap in a sterile environment that can’t affect or detract from the experience that you are about to endure.

    But that’s just me. I don’t mind the new room either.

  • Whiskey Jack

    Actually I always thought he looked more Tom Hardy-esque, than anyone else in particular. Though his jaw isn’t as square as Hardy’s.

  • Markham

    Ishtar is the new Nukie. Nukie is dead, long live Nukie.

  • Bubs

    I like Jack, but he’s the textbook definition of a Hipster. I think he wear’s Pabst Blue Ribbon underpants. When I see him wearing a hipster shirt like that, I just think “Yeah… makes sense.”

  • Like Icare

    Apparently he is to the ladies. That interviewer is throwing herself at him there.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6d0MbA0pRI

    Also, he’s Australian… who doesn’t play an Australian… and he went to the same acting school there as Hugh Jackman… so he may actually be able to act, and to be charming at least off screen.

    Maybe he’s actually a decent actor and a nice guy, who just hasn’t yet gotten an opportunity to be in a decent movie where he could actually act.

    But he’s bland as all fuck to me.

  • Bubs

    I guess it’s only fair, seeing how The Manhole is clearly eating into their bottom line. They couldn’t even afford leather chairs in their completely revamped schlock-movie viewing studio!
    #FirstWorldHackFraudProblems

  • Like Icare

    Hugh Jackman’s more probably.

    Australian is apparently the new black.

  • Brack to the Future

    He’s a tube baby grown at Arizona State University’s Lab of Generic Actors and Anchors.

  • Like Icare
  • Brack to the Future

    That was a really well-executed show, from Glau to Dillahunt.

  • Jean-François Martel

    someone gif the “you bastard” bit

  • Jean-François Martel

    it makes perfect sense

  • omitted

    *in

  • Jean-François Martel

    i see, that Australian charm is potent. And yeah, maybe he’s Australia’s Keanu Reeves

  • Brack to the Future

    You know, a natural progression would’ve been for the molten Terminators to become some sort of steel spooge. Call it Can-spermia. I have been thinking about this since 1991.

  • Jean-François Martel

    you know what, he’s not that hot but i’d probably still fuck him tbh.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Moe: “Just a sec…There’s a call for Jack Hoffman. Jack Hoffman, in the bar?”

    Homer: “Not in MY bar. D’oh.”

    END SCENE

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • omitted

    Yeah, like I said in the previous thread I’d do him… once. He was okay trying to find some pants in Thermostat: Genitalwarts.

  • Like Icare
  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Just because you haven’t eaten in fourteen days, don’t mean you can skip pec day at the gym. Eat a Cliff bar and tough it up, pussy!

  • Broiling Point

    While they’re at it, make me one for “Rich Evans thinks Parkinson’s Disease is funny.”

  • omitted

    Just remember to lube up before he puts his rod A into your slot B.

  • omitted

    “On April 26, 2013, the series was renewed by NBC for a second season of 22 episodes”

  • Like Icare

    The poster is probably on the “not really where the problem lies with this franchise” end of the scale.

    The entire thing is like something that the future people will laugh at us for, for being silly and backward, like we do when looking at people from 1910s and ’20s.

    http://www.teepr.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/desktop-1426629906.jpg

  • omitted

    Has Thomas DickMe Dekker done anything worthwhile since then?

  • Broiling Point

    Fun Fact: Richard Linklater was in the process of making a film about Cameron Mitchell called Manhood, which had been written as a dramatic look into the life of a man who would not take his hood off and refused to even stand up. Production fell through and Cameron Mitchell, already drunk and hooded, was recruited for the movie Low Blow. Linklater would have to wait 20 years to find a suitable actor for a heavily revised script for a movie called Boyhood.

  • omitted

    I have cum to tell you the final and absolute truth about Genisys: It’s pretty meh. If you’ve seen the trailers, you’ve seen the best (of the worst) plot- and action-wise.

  • Grand__Mother

    What is The Manhole, got a link?

  • omitted

    But, but… I liked Earth 2.

  • Like Icare

    Phoebe Tonkin? Google seems to think so.

  • Broiling Point

    But don’t they say things like “Come with me if you want to live”, “I’ll be back”, and other lines we hold so dear in our hearts? How could it be anything but a complete and total watershed hit?

    Don’t listen to this Omitted guy. It has to be a 5 star thrill ride sure to leave you in an awe inspired rush that will last until judgement day!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    https://cytu.be/r/TheManHole But don’t tell anyone.

  • omitted

    They do all that! They’re even kind enough to play the Terminator theme every time Ahnuld does something cool just to point that out.

    One more thing: it would seem Peter Dinklage is not the only dwarf small person on the set of Game of Thrones. Jai Courtney must feel like a pedophile.

  • Like Icare

    There are other worlds than this.
    http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/cum-in-me-if-you-want-to-live-ken-haramiru/1115276134?

    “47 years from now, the Worldnet AI will make Earth a peaceful paradise – just before the alien Solrani attack. Desperate, Worldnet finds an alternate reality where the Solrani were defeated because of thirteen key people never born in its reality. Worldnet sends its most advanced infiltrator back to our time in order to ensure that the thirteen are conceived, by any means necessary.

    ===

    This is a 14,000 word piece of story-driven science fiction erotica. It is neither a “stroke story”, nor a safe-for-teens piece. The story contains two sex scenes, both of which use the infiltrator droid’s liquid metal anatomy to accomplish sexual feats. The infiltrator doesn’t care about consent, although it prefers deception over rape where possible. Rest assured
    that only a would-be rapist gets raped, however.”

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    TERMINATOR: JE NAIS SE QUOI. Is that the moopie with the foul-mouthed Teddy bear?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    So that’s where the patreon money was going towards.RLM home theatre…hack frauds living that #swag life.

  • omitted

    “The infiltrator doesn’t care about consent, although it prefers deception over rape where possible.” Bastard stole my MO!

  • omitted

    And from what I’ve heard, a fucking couch!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    As if there’s any other kind of couches.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    RLM casting couch?

  • omitted

    I volunteer as tribute!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    New content, there is hope…except for Terminator Fuck You

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What if they watch MegaForce next?! Or Garzey’s Wing?

  • JayGorgo

    I remember visiting the place where they filmed “Lost In Dinosaur World” back in the early 90’s. The animatronic dinosaur exhibit was TINY. Basically, all those dinosaurs were just to give people something to stare at while the waited in line for a dark ride. I can’t believe they filmed a movie there.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He was a guy in Spartacus, not the Kubrick one the Showtime one with dumb slow mo….

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I’m just gonna assume Colin left his VFX job to become a RLM regular.Josh/Jessi will never appear on BOTW/WOTW again.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The title of it is Terminator Fuck You, get it right.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    New couches. YOUR PATREON DOLLARS AT WORK! #PatreonShaming

  • omitted

    I bet he does it just so he can sit next to Jay. That lucky son of a bitches!

  • Uncle Sporkums

    It “allegedly” worked for O.J.’s ghost writer.

  • Jean-François Martel

    he’s the son of many bitches

  • Jean-François Martel

    Rich Evans will have you next

  • omitted

    My body is ready.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Are you quoting the girl who is allergic to clothes?

  • Like Icare

    Hmm… I have an idea what may be ahappenin in that story.

    The Infiltrator, exfiltrates the fathers sperm while mimicking a female, then it seduces the mother of the person it needs to impregnate in order for Conn Johnorr to be born, by mimicking a male, perhaps a husband, and then it infiltrates the collected sperm into her wombspace.

    I wonder how many more iterations of the Terminator franchise are we from a plot just like that?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    The Republicans warned us that would happen when there was Marriage Equality.

  • Jean-François Martel

    they also say “Come with me if you wanna live” in Terminator The Sarah COnnor Chronicles and Defiance season 3 and both shows do it better (i assume)

  • omitted

    The Flaming Broad The Girl on Fire!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The iCloud Games?

  • Like Icare

    Like Furiosa?

  • Jean-François Martel

    ‘I’ lasted for 3 or 4 episodes

  • omitted

    For once I would like to see the characters jerk each other off after that line. So ripe for a porn spoof!

  • omitted

    iLast? Is that a new Apple product?

  • Jean-François Martel

    yeah, he’s been in a bunch of movies, he’s been in THe Secret Circle which i didn’t watch because the pilot was atrocious. I think he still does music. He’s been in Blackstrom with Rain Wilson. Which FOX canceled because FOX will do what FOX does.
    I don’t know if any of it is worthwile, but he keeps himself busy.

  • Like Icare
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Thanks for the long snake. I am a pervert.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    #triggered

  • Jawstafarian

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vygQZ9hYqyE …at the end of the day, all i know is, we never went to the moon.

  • Jean-François Martel

    Dillahunt is such an underrated actor. The way he can go from straight drama to comedy and play a villain to a protagonist. Just wow. He deserves to be bigger.

  • omitted

    You said fox three times! You’ve summoned @disqus_xYONdDQI0r:disqus!

  • Jean-François Martel

    May he grant me power

  • omitted

    Have you seen Kaboom?

  • omitted

    penis enlargement?

  • Jean-François Martel

    i have not. is it any good?

  • Jean-François Martel

    i’m sure he’s plenty big in that area

  • omitted

    It’s super weird… but it has Thomas Dekker lusting after his perpetually naked roommate. So there’s that…

  • RLMkeepitup

    Was it entertainingly bad or just cringe?

  • Jean-François Martel

    it makes me sad Thomas Dekker isn’t gay or bi. Not that i have a chance, but it would be nice. Especially he constantly plays gay characters.

  • omitted

    Yes, because lesbians sure didn’t reproduce before that, no siree!

  • Sully

    More like eat Sgt. Clifton from E Company, cause his warring days are over ever since that T-1000 chopped off his legs.

  • omitted

    But isn’t there just a bit of ‘the forbidden fruit’ flavor in it to ogle straight dudes? And you can always fantasize about ‘turning’ them…

  • Malevolence

    Ohmergerd a new BotW!…. So… Tits of Steel, Tammy and the TRex 2, and Fisting- The Motion Picture….. Can’t Wait! 😀

  • Brack to the Future

    What do you mean “we,” kemo sabe? My people have abandoned more bases there than the Russians have inhabited.

  • Jean-François Martel

    for me it just gets frustrating tbh. i’m not into that straight guys thing anyway.

  • Brack to the Future

    Batiatus: “Et tu, Varro? You shall die at the end of Spartacus’ metal penis, as it rams home through your trapezius. Jupiter’s cock, isn’t there more fucking wine to help weigh down me Scottish accent?”

  • omitted

    Hey don’t get me wrong, I love it when a celebrity ‘plays for our team’. The more the merrier! But you also know how I feel about Jay, so…

  • Jawstafarian
  • Malevolence

    Did they kill Mike?

  • Only after he edited it.

  • omitted

    Rich strangled him in their sleep.

  • Either that or Mike changes into Colin once a month. Whenever they’re on screen together is CG.

  • omitted

    Werecanadian!

  • Palpatine

    Did anyone else notice that the older brother from Lost in Dinosaur World is dressed like Alan Grant from Jurassic Park?

  • omitted

    Striptease Cosplay!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Rich looks like Joel from The Last of Us

    http://i.imgur.com/gh7K3jt.png

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Ummm gross

  • Jean-François Martel

    i’m calling the police

  • Palpatine

    Rich’s face is more round.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    The Sting jokes are too easy to make.

  • RLMkeepitup

    In JP Lex should have at some point said Guys “It’s a park, not a fucking jungle or something”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Same shirt, hair, and beard. He looks more like him than Hugh Jackman

    http://moviecreedlive.com/img/upload/pi4pj0f.jpg

  • Jawstafarian

    Can’t wait for Halloween Returns, it’s gonna be great.

  • Palpatine

    How is it returning? Did it get banned or something?

  • omitted

    No need, I’m already their favorite bitch snitch.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Are you saying Rich is trying to be the character of a game he refuses to play.

  • Like Icare

    If Jay don’t fit you must Omitt.

  • Brack to the Future

    I would say he was unsuitably cheesy in No Country. Perching on a well-schooled horse does not make one a competent rider.

    If he’d played it like the “ripe petunias” guy, it would’ve been the perfect counter to Ed Tom.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I like how you used a batman news link.

  • Jean-François Martel

    i gotta be honest i don’t remember him in this movie.

  • Jawstafarian

    according to hollywood, we haven’t finished raping michael myers just yet

  • Eric Moreland

    He’s not “trying”. Rich “is” the character of a game he refuses to play…

  • Brack to the Future

    Oh he’s that excellent, that he just fits in. Like his part in The Road, or both parts he played on Deadwood. It’s just his performance in No Country is grating because I think the Cohens really enjoy fucking with supporting actors and making them ham-fist. :L)

  • Like Icare

    Speaking of Batman… news…

    Ben Affleck is splitting up with yet another Jeniffer.

    What is it with him and Jeniffers?

  • Malevolence

    Just like Tim Schafer transforms into Jack Black? Or Obama transforms into Michelle?

  • Like Icare

    We’re all characters of a game we refuse to play at some point.
    It’s called life.

    I know. Deep.

  • Brack to the Future

    That’s hot. Especially since Michael wears a William Shatner mask. It’s like, meta.

  • Malevolence

    Would make sense why we haven’t had a review in some while…. I’d take a week brainstorming on how to dispose of such a massive body

  • Brack to the Future

    Man that game bums me out. There should be a button combo to bag that dumb little girl in a net and use her for bait. Man, like lerping around dragging a ball and chain.

  • Jawstafarian

    lol it looks NOTHING like him

  • Palpatine
  • Like Icare
  • dollar store cashier wife

    they rhyme…like poetry.

  • Maybe in the next one, he’ll be wearing a Chris pine mask

  • Hey, ghost dad, what are you doing here?

  • Palpatine

    Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What if Rich is playing him in the movie?

  • Brack to the Future

    “Grampa Exposition,” Jay. Fucking LOL.

  • Like Icare

    Same old, same old… mixing drinks and stuff.
    Wanna cock-tail? It’s my secret recipe.

  • Brack to the Future

    You lost me and I did not like that song at all. You understand me sir? You understand me?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I resemble that remark.

  • Like Icare

    Shrek is from a world where a donkey fucks a dragon.

  • Jawstafarian
  • Palpatine

    Hadradon Hash.

  • Like Icare

    That never gets old.

  • Palpatine

    What, Mike in the ride, or the mosasaur feeding show?

  • Brack to the Future

    Okay, the other ones are okay I guess. But you posted a video about a bunch of children who are lost in the inner city? Would it have been so hard for that big bird to have helped them in some way?

  • I got banned from ain’t it cool for making a bill Cosby joke

  • Like Icare

    Kids – don’t get tattoos with names of the people you think you’re in love with.
    It will severely limit your options for any kind of future relationship.

  • Jawstafarian

    i think we should cgi big bird into every action movie, like terminator genisys, a good day to die hard, it would make an improvement no doubt

  • Brack to the Future

    Did y’all see the guy who sings the Shrek Loser song melt down at a music festival? That was enjoyable on all accounts.

  • Like Icare

    Mike. It gets me at Mike. Always.

  • Jawstafarian

    in fact big bird shouldve been the antagonist in this motion picture, i wouldve lined up for that

  • http://www.avclub.com/article/ted-cruzs-awful-simpsons-impressions-are-good-keep-221627 This is the worst thing I’ve ever experienced, and I was an aspiring supermodel in the 70s with narcolepsy who frequented bill cosbys parties

  • Like Icare

    Is that what he says? I couldn’t make it out.

  • Brack to the Future

    I’d make him fly the F35 in the lastest Die Hard, where McClane is clinging to the wing while Jason Long cracks wise. That would certainly boost sales.

  • Malevolence

    Low Blow cover is the epitome of false advertising…

  • Jean-François Martel

    epitome?

  • Malevolence

    yea probably haha…

  • Like Icare

    What was the joke? I don’t think that anyone here cares much about Cosby or owes him money or anything.

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    What was with the ishtar movies?

  • Malevolence

    KY Jelly

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    is that a band or something?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You’re new here, then?

    #World-Building,AndOtherSuchDumbThings

  • Malevolence

    yes…. or it’s a sex cream… I can’t keep up with these things

  • Brack to the Future

    Didn’t he win American Idol as a rap icon from Kentucky?

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    no I dont remember them ever talking about it. but I am usually drunk when I watch this

  • no, but he owes me my dignity. And 8 hours of REM sleep from the 1970s

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Stream-a-Thon. You should’ve been there!

  • Like Icare

    To the archives, but not too far, you must go to grasp Ishtar.

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    ooohhhhhhh, kay why jelly

  • marko112kg

    I drove a forklift like that. We had a piece of wood we used to repetadely bang into some square engine part every time we were turning it on.

  • Malevolence

    “I found Pixar in that branch”

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    There’s a documentary about B.B. King called THE LIFE OF RILEY, which opens with Cosby doing a three minute, condescending, little preach about the insecurities of sleeping with someone as an analogy to life during Jim Crow.

    Weirdest motherfyucking thing I’ve ever watched.

    Now streaming on Netflix.

  • Malevolence

    Anyone see the new Terminator…. without spoiling it… should I see it? Is it stupid action decent?

  • That was terrible.

  • Look for omitted’s post. He gave his opinion somewhere near the beginning of this thread.

  • Malevolence

    that’s okay…

  • Shrek is love. Shrek is life. In no way can he harm anybody. Mike wanted it.
    #excusesrape

  • Like Icare

    To be fair, seeds of that insanity were sewn a bit earlier.
    But oh how they bloomed in all their mad splendor during the times of Ishtarmageddon.

    It’s like Coleridge puts it in that poem about anime (he was a huge fan of anime and manga).
    “If a man could pass through Paradise in a dream, and have a flower presented to him as a pledge that his soul had really been there, and if he found that flower in his hand when he awoke – Aye! and what then?”

    What then indeed.

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    does red number media still do any conventions? anybody know?

  • You mean Kanye West singing Bohemian Rhapsody? Because that sounds like the polar opposite.

  • The Last of Us 2 is already confirmed. That doesn’t surprise me.

  • Yes.

  • tOmy`

    I kinda liked this episode. I like the new set up, editing and it seemed that the gang had ton of fun watching. I still miss Jessi, tho.

    Hmmm… man, I didn’t say anything on topic for such a long time I am not sure how it works anymore. Was this good? Post a comment on this webzone and tell me whether it was good. The rating scale is 1 to 10 porcupines; as in real life orgy, 10 porcupines is best.

  • tOmy`

    They are busy buying new couches.

  • Brack to the Future

    Imagine a scale of Dustin Hoffman Hammishness.

    On one side is Rain Man, and on the other is whatever ruinous thing he was in Perfume. Everything else is between.

    Ishtar is like all of his Jay Leno appearances rolled into one embarrassing event. Imagine an old man running down a live stage pretending to hoop his arm as he pretends to masturbate an elephant. Ishtar is off the scale, like the Spinal Tap Amp for hacks.

  • It makes no sense, but might take itself too seriously. There are cool nods back to the first two though

  • sewn?

  • tOmy`

    It is my favorite performance of the year. You could literally see his ego floating to the sky to occupy a bigger planet.

  • “Fuck Space Cop! We need couches!”

  • Jawstafarian

    Terminator Genisys sucks harder than a V-World hooker

  • sleepy_editor

    So I wondered if directors get better with age and took a look at a few examples. I sourced some of the same footage from Indiana Jones documentaries as Mike did but I think came to a slightly different conclusion.

    youtube.com/watch?v=OgnHq_E3rN8&feature=youtu.be

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    couch conventions then

  • Wizard Phoenix

    If Jai McBlandy is from the post apocalyptic future how come he looks like a buff dude from LA?

  • Wait, I want to hear more about his jay Leno appearances. Is there a specific one that’s fucking nuts that I should seek out?

  • Like Icare

    Sown. Fuck it.

  • tOmy`

    Yes. But you have to bring your own couch and own Rich Evans.

  • I just had an acid reflux. Please don’t bring up V-World Matrix hookers again.

  • Jawstafarian

    hes been hangin out with john travolta

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    well they did spell Genesis wrong. its right there on the Sega

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Crusin with dudes at 3AM?

  • And in a book i pretend to have read

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    you will get a pizza roll in the mail if it was good.

  • tOmy`

    Goodpenis, that’s not a badpenis deal.

    (I like your name)

  • Wizard Phoenix

    We have told everyone since the first trailer IT LOOKS HORRIBLE. Besides it’s from Alan Taylor who directed the worst MCU movie. Disney and Marvel don’t even want him back for Thor 3, he pissed off Disney therefore a red flag is raised.

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    hahaha

  • marko112kg

    Is it just me or did she merely say “fricken'”?

  • I think so too.

  • tOmy`

    I think she said: “You are wonderful and all-powerful being tOmy` and if you keep it up, authorities will never find you.”

    Then again, I get that a lot from movies.

  • Jean-François Martel

    i mean, was it really his fault? The scipt was pretty blah to begin with. I guess the movie doesn’t have much of a personality compared to other MCU chapters.

  • Didn’t she say: “do it for the family” in Vin Diesel’s voice?

  • Jillian

    ONLY THROUGH THE ELIMINATION OF VIOLENCE CAN WE ACHIEVE WORLD PEACE!!!

  • Like Icare

    Couch is the key to all this. You get the couch right… then for a couple years you’re satisfied that no matter what goes wrong, at least you’ve got your couch issue handled.

    And they already got all the right glasses and mugs and shot glasses with tiny bubbles and imperfections, proof they were crafted by the honest, simple, hard-working indigenous peoples of… wherever.

  • tOmy`

    It was heavily “promoted” during Star Wars Holiday Special Part 1 talk. The trailer was also shown several times during Stream-a-thon, including a final, about an hour long loop when they streamed it in different speeds and backwards.

    I remember it very well, it was the first time ever in my life when I tried to eat a table using my ears.

  • Like Icare

    No worder words were ever worded.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    He made the movie look better than the first Thor the problem is that while is a great visual composer he is horrible at directing actors. Loki is worse than he was under Whedon and Branagh, so is Thor and the ninth Doctor is so bad as the villain and he’s a great actor. The script while having a goofy story could have been intense seeing how there is an infinity gem and we know of what they can do now but no it’s just goo and even the goo made no sense, that I blame Taylor for.

  • Like Icare

    Hide them under the floorboards. Nobody has to know.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Sully, did you change your name?

  • Sully

    “…elimination of violence…”

    WE SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU, HYPOCRITE IMPOSTER!!!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    If we were behind the ads for Genisys the posters would be like: Terminator Fuck You. Directed by the person who made the worst MCU film, starring the hot dragon chick from Game of Thrones who is not naked in this, the bland guy who is only good when he’s not speaking, ARNOLD, that guy The Rise of The Dawn of The War of The Planet of The Apes, Doctor Who, Terence Fletcher, and Asian Robert Patrick.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    By Peter North?

  • Jawstafarian

    the poster would just have a giant cock and balls on it and a tag line of… ”we aint gonna lie, this ones gonna hurt”

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Now Terminator Fuck You isn’t just an insult

  • tOmy`

    “Don’t come in if you wanna live.”

  • Like Icare

    Did Jim and him still respect each other in the morning?
    Or did one of them not remember the whole thing at all and wondered why the burning sensation in the ass?

  • Like Icare

    “FUCK YOU! IT’S TERMINATOR!”

  • Tsk. Tsk. And not so long ago you were trying to ask her out.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    SULLY! *gives big platonic hug*

  • omitted

    *fuck

  • Wizard Phoenix

    No naked Daenerys but we have a naked Jai McBlandy!

  • Wizard Phoenix

    What are you replacing? *fuck big platonic hug* *big fuck platonic hug*?

  • harry

    holy shit. despite it being so cheaply made and probably in limited quantities, and the fact I live all the way across the country from state the park is in, I somehow saw a copy of Dinosaur World as a kid. I’m pretty sure we got it at a gas station and ended up getting rid of it after one viewing cus me and my brother didn’t like it. Until today I would sometimes think about watching this movie when I was maybe five, and wonder what the hell movie it was. I only really remember the burger scene an that even as a child being unsure whether the dinosaurs were supposed to be alive or not in the movie cus they were so cheap looking

  • RLMkeepitup

    imagine the feeling. knowing someone is coming back in time to make you come.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Well isn’t that why Kyle Reese was sent back?

  • Like Icare

    OH… Right… Timetravel likes to watch.

  • omitted

    Search your feelings. You know it to be true.

  • Brack to the Future

    I’m lamenting the old cheap, rough Scotchlite Terminator/T2 like Jim Morrison lamented his cock. Somebody call Plinkett and axe whether that’s an analgy.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Platonic fuck? That doesn’t make sense.

  • Troy Condoms.

  • omitted

    So you’ve never had a fuckbuddy? Wanna be mine?

  • Like Icare

    “More of Us” then?

  • Sully
  • Wizard Phoenix

    Wait, I hear they go from 1984 into the future so does that mean naked Daenerys? Oh wait that means more naked McBlandy and Arnold, who is in his 90’s.

  • Wizard Phoenix
  • Grand__Mother

    Bring Jessi back for another episode! It’s been a while and I love her commentary on the movies and videos.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    I’m straight, unless you’re pretending to be a man.

  • Palpatine

    Jessi died on the way back to her home planet.

  • RLMkeepitup

    well he wanted to make twins just to be sure but there’s no fate but what we make. then arnold made twins instead

  • Brack to the Future

    Jessi from Mythbusters? I’d buy that for a dollar!

  • omitted

    That’s so… morbid.

  • Hopefully that’ll help the franchise to stay dead after this series of disappointments.

  • Sully

    He may regain the rights, but I don’t think he’s going back to the franchise. After the second one I think he realized how dumb the premise was. You, sir, have about a decade of Avatar sequels to look forward to instead.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Jessi was RLM’s Poochie?

  • Palpatine

    Oh Omitted, you can read me like a book.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Avatar 2,3,4,5 will tie in with Terminator universe.

    It’s stylistically designed to be that way.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    As long as we see that blue chick’s tits I am fine.

  • omitted

    Oh cum on, it’s just body parts. A mouth is a mouth and a hole is a hole.

  • Unless they also tie it with Aliens and Prometheus. Mmmm… blue jello genocide.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Don’t forget about tying into the new Aliens movie.

  • Palpatine

    She was better than ten Super Bowls.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Okay, you’re creeping me out. Just think of naked McBlandy and I’ll think of naked Daenerys

  • Jawstafarian

    nah man shes on world tour with her heavy metal band bros keep up

  • Like Icare

    Wait… that happened in the show…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjLne16FKmQ

  • omitted

    So I just finished the first season of Sense8. Cool premise watered down by glacially moving plot and couple of uninteresting characters, but the sporadic gay sex and full frontal male nudity ensures my continued interest!

  • Brack to the Future

    Imagine having to rent a vcr just to watch Terminator. When I was growing up there were plenty of classmates who had to do so!

  • omitted

    “you’re creeping me out”
    And so my goal for the day is reached!

  • Earth

    OHMYGOD CONTENT!

    I knew that human sacrifice and prayer to the ancient Gods would work.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    That’s Cersei! Hold never mind that’s awesome but it’s PG13 nudity. And not the Titanic kind.

  • Jean-François Martel

    Don’t you dare.

  • Like Icare

    You know… That would have been a twist. That there were two babies.

    Just like there were two Sarahs.

    http://terminatorium.net/Images/Mm_image/t2prem_03.jpg

  • omitted

    Don’t tell me you sacrificed Jessi for this!

  • Jean-François Martel

    i am so angry at how they wasted Christopher Eccleston in this movie. He should have been in the top villains in the MCU, like i know most of the villains are garbage but he should have been above that. The MCU needs to give their villains a damn personality.

    lmao yeah, the goo, a classic of superhero movies

  • Mr_Wint

    Rich knows all sorts of words.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    But he can’t make a good cat pun

  • omitted

    It’s a lie. There is no such thing as a bad penis.

  • Wizard Phoenix

    Gods such as?

  • Like Icare

    River Tam too.

  • Mr_Wint

    When he tries to be witty he just sounds like an even bigger idiot.

  • Uncle Sporkums
  • Jean-François Martel

    What about Chad Michael Murray’s

  • Sully

    That was before I came to my senses.

  • Jean-François Martel

    it was so good!

  • Sully

    That’s the best time to evade the HK patrols.

  • LPJ
  • Jean-François Martel

    My hero!

  • omitted

    Have you tried it yourself?

  • Earth

    Damn you Gods! I told you to take Rick Berman’s life!

  • Jean-François Martel

    who hasn’t? (me)

  • Earth

    The ones from Hercules in New York.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9qAR-Jnbug

  • LPJ
  • She’s as bland as that guy. Kiera Knightley, however… she played Padme, right?

  • tOmy`

    Meanwhile at the Pantheon:

    “Man, yet another wish to take Rick Berman’s life. What is it with Ricks?”

  • omitted

    There was once this rumor that Alex Pettyfer had the phrase ‘Thank you’ tattooed on his lower abdomen in case he ‘forgot to say it’. He later refuted the whole thing, but I gotta say the sheer cockiness of it turns me on a bit.

  • LPJ

    make a better tattoo if it was on his ass

  • omitted

    Funny you should mention it, since I have it as a tramp stamp.

  • Uncle Sporkums

    No problem, citizen!

  • LPJ

    *its actually spelled Prick, there’s a silent ‘P’

  • tOmy`

    Is anyone else who is watching True Detective getting this kinda weird Lynch vibe from it?

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    Is that something red letter press talks about? I only watch what they tells me to.

  • Mr_Wint

    Chug a bug.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I was collecting porcupines to rate your post, but those little fyuckers sting like pricks. I’m assuming you knew this, and it was all part of your set-up.

    In which case…mean, dude. Very mean.

  • tOmy`

    No, not at all. It’s just me and my frustrating HBO fanboyage. (Totally coining that word.)

  • Mr_Wint

    Maybe Lynch a bit. I would prefer if that’s where they’re going with it. After watching the second episode and the dullness made me consider quitting life, I would prefer anything. It’s not True Detective so far, as far as I’m concerned. The thing at the end of the episode, of course, is not what it appears to be.

  • tOmy`

    *evil laugh*

    It was all part of my STING OPERATION.

    *evil laugh transforming into awkward cough*

  • tOmy`

    I know these are all just a little examples, but together, they did form something of a Lynchian atmosphere:

    – Night driving
    – Singer at the bar
    – Psychologist wearing glasses indoor. obviously borderline insane
    – Bird mask
    – Long shots panoramic shots
    – Gay robots
    – An actual Mullholland Drive sign (in the first episode that lifted some stuff from it already)

  • Sully
  • Mr_Wint

    But, but, but, butt*

  • tOmy`

    If Andrew didn’t impose his challenge on me, Sense8 would be my new pick I guess.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Beef-a-Roo™

  • Mr_Wint

    Okay, okay, okay. I understand what you’re saying. I concede, yes, there are definite PHYSICAL motifs that reflect DL. Totally agree with that. As far as any dream logic, single-dual experience, voyeurism or juxtaposition of the inner-experience with dark reality; not sure if I see it yet.

  • Mr_Wint

    You Keep,,,,,changing. Are you fluid now?

  • He’s tye black goo.

  • omitted

    Miks oot nykyää ronsu?

  • tOmy`

    Oh, yea, totally not. Maybe I went a bit too far with that “vibe” thing – I was really just referencing a lot of stuff that reminds me of Lynch movies. I am willing to bet that the creators / writers are fans.

    That, and the obvious callback to Twin Peaks: “Hey, let’s make the second season crappy!” Oh, there we go:
    – Riding a bike

    I sure miss James.

  • tOmy`

    *sexstuff

  • tOmy`

    Do you think that the black goo was in the Pulp Fiction briefcase?

  • Mr_Wint

    Well, you’re spot on in that case. James; what a chugger.

  • tOmy`
  • Mr_Wint

    GL’s stack of movie scripts.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Agreed.

  • Mr_Wint

    He looks like Jay’s retarded, bloated brother.

  • Angelo

    I just started watching the first season of TD (two episodes so far) and it’s blowing my mind already.
    Is the second season really as crappy as everyone is saying? (only 65% on RT)

  • Angelo

    You’re onto something here.

  • tOmy`

    It’s a totally different series… which can be both good and bad. But so far, it’s pretty much mediocre. Also the writing got really cringe-worthy… for some inexplicable reason.

  • Mr_Wint

    Dude, the first five eps of the first-season will blow your brain. Season two is just like, ‘why should I care?’ *Spoilers*

  • Mr_Wint

    It’s uncanny.

  • tOmy`

    Totally agree. The first season is a real game-changer for detective TV shows and unsettling stuff.

  • omitted

    Haluuks kärsiä?

  • Angelo

    Well I have nothing against Colin Farrell but I don’t think he stands a single chance against Matthew McConaughey. That guy is just
    FUCKING
    AWESOME

  • tOmy`

    “Haluuks suffer” But why? Why do you make Haluuks suffer?

  • omitted

    There is an alternate meaning relating to Pa’s avatar pic.

  • omitted

    There is an alternate meaning relating to Pa’s avatar pic.

  • LPJ

    Dynomite

  • LPJ

    Dynomite

  • tOmy`

    Yep. But then again (no spoilers territory), I don’t think Matthew’s character would fit into the “new world” of TD 2. It is more pulpy and noir, rather than mysterious and “nihilistic”. And even his acting wouldn’t elevate some of the pseudo-intellectual, borderline hilarious lines actors are given this time.

  • Angelo

    I liked the season 2 of Twin Peaks anyway because it meant more Audrey Horne.
    http://www.nerdist.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/realization-cherry-stalk.jpg

  • tOmy`

    I love that season, but when re-watching it, I am sometimes skipping James stuff. It is a bit silly, but hey, it’s Twin Peaks.

    And yea, Audrey… her dance is one of my all time favs from Twin Peaks. We need at least one scene like that in the upcoming “sequel”.

  • Angelo

    Maybe its the change of director? I’ve never heard of Cary Joji Fukunaga before (who the fuck is he?) but his direction is hypnotic.
    Justin Lin, well…

  • Angelo

    I’ve only seen the all series once a long time ago. But I distinctly remember being bored by all the romance nonsense of season 2.
    I didn’t mind the reveal of Laura’s murderer, and I wanted to know more about the mythology of the show, but I think nobody really knew where the fuck they were going with it.

  • Mr_Wint

    ‘If you ever bully, or hurt, anyone again, I’ll butt-fuck your father on the front lawn with your mother’s headless corpse’. – can’t make this shit up.

  • tOmy`

    Could be a plenty reasons. Maybe the fact that everything was already said and done about all those sad, depressed, alcoholic noir detectives, so anything new brought to the table is either gonna be exceptional or pretentious. The first episode had it’s share of really bad lines, the second time we basically had just one really odd monologue.

    But for what is worth: It still looks amazing and stunning. The setting helps a lot, sure, but it’s mesmerizing. (Note: I am not from US, so I don’t get to see cities like this.)

  • Angelo

    It sounds good only if Bryan Cranston says it.

  • Mr_Wint

    They went full-retard.

  • tOmy`

    Cut to suggested incest, cut to almost not blurred out hardcore porn on screen (GO HBO GO!). Cut to “I guess he thought about fucking a lot.”

    But as we already decided with Wifey, Game of Thrones’ “You want a good girl, but you need a bad pussy” is so far winning this year, hands down.

  • Mr_Wint

    Uhhhh, that’s disgusting.

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    Im going to donate a bag of my old pubes. I don’t need them anymore.

  • Angelo

    I’ll check it out anyway. I think it’s good they tried something different at least, not repeating the exact same thing as season one.

    A for effort as they say.

  • Palpatine

    Those’ll make a great toupee for Jack.

  • Mr_Wint

    Donating silence is preferable.

  • tOmy`

    Can you imagine the moment in the writers room?

    “Okay, guys, what are your suggestions?”

    “I am gonna fucking kill you?”

    “What about something with spine-breaking?”

    “I am gonna shove my fist so far up your ass… nah, already been done too many times.”

    “If you ever bully, or hurt, anyone again, I’ll butt-fuck your father on the front lawn with your mother’s headless corpse?”

    *awkward silence*

    “Do you… do you wanna share something with the rest of us?”

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    hey Im just trying to help support these guys

  • Mr_Wint

    They were probably all like, patting each other on the back and shit.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, I think it is gonna be worth it. Not sure whether it totally justifies it’s existence, but I don’t find it boring or stupid.

  • Angelo

    Isn’t Nic Pizzolatto the only writer on the show?
    Which I thought was an incredible feat, but maybe I am mistaken.

  • Mr_Wint

    He’s billed as the only writer, I’m sure now that the first season was a hit that they have a whole bunch of people in the writers room.

  • Palpatine

    Hakuna Matata.

  • Earth

    I miss Jessi.

  • Palpatine

    Jessi died on her way back to her home planet Me too.

  • Angelo

    She’ll come back for the reboot, playing another character.

  • Earth

    It’s weird. Sometimes I feel like she’s not in RLM anymore, but then you’ll occasionally hear her voice in the videos, even in a commentary track.

    I can only assume she’s now a secret agent fighting Godzillas with fish.

  • tOmy`

    Yes. I don;t like that the only women on the show is Jack now.

  • Palpatine

    Maybe she was eaten by the mosasaur.

  • tOmy`

    On the way to her home planet?

  • Angelo

    Also known as the Dinosaurus Ex Machina, perfect to end your scene / movie when you don’t know what else to do.

  • Palpatine

    Her spaceship broke down over the South Pacific Ocean and crashed in the lagoon of Jurassic World.

  • Earth

    Jessi. Plz come back. We much love you.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqekGnn6f7g

    Also, thanks Mark Bisone for one of the greatest youtube videos ever made. Right up there with Jay’s vlog videos.

  • atheistconservative

    Yeah Jessi was fun, although she didn’t have much to say. So was the other girl (the comedienne). I thought she and Mike were going to come to blows when she kept trying to explain that she just likes dumb romcoms, and Mike just kept calling her stupid.

    And I think that’s the thing: women in general seem less likely to enjoy the “get together, watch bad movies, insult each other” basis for this. Most of the time Jessi just looked bored. She had some good jokes and one-liners, but she didn’t seem to be having a great time.

  • Angelo

    Someone.
    Actually.
    Made.
    This.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    It was the flatulence.

  • Angelo

    Wot

  • Earth

    Yes.

  • DanceOfBirther

    Cameron Mitchell was the original Happy Lowman and was in movies with actresses like Lauren Bacall. His career sank deeper than Ray Miland’s.

    The next BotW should be all Mitchell and Miland movies.

  • tOmy`

    How I didn’t see this before?! It is fantastic!

  • Earth

    Makes me wonder where Mark Bisone’s at.

  • Domo

    I think Jay is trying to channel Jan-Michael Vincent from The Alienator, in both hairstyle and alcoholism levels.

    http://i.imgur.com/0HxQoLn.jpg

  • atheistconservative

    I think TD sucked in general, but that scene with the lawnmower guy in like the second episode just screamed “HE DID IT”. Like the quick shot of the cook in Hunt for Red October.

  • tOmy`

    He made some comments in the last section I think.

  • Earth

    WHAT?!

    Why isn’t he here constantly posting inane comments like everyone else?

  • Palpatine
  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    ♫ I watch the ripples change their size
    But never leave the stream
    Of warm impermanence and
    So the days float through my eyes
    But still the days seem the same ♫

  • Domo

    Not every person who participates in these videos needs to hoot and holler to show they’re having a good time.

  • tOmy`

    Oh, sorry, it was apparently the last WOTW episode.

  • Angelo

    I want a Rack (or Jich) video now.
    Please Mark, if you are still alive.

  • tOmy`

    ^^ SPOILERS ^^

  • DanceOfBirther

    I’m personally interested in Swollen Valley, which is what I think the tape three left of Deathstalker reads. I’m very curious as to the size, shape, and texture of this valley and wether it’s dry or wet and if it’s dense or clear cut.

  • Mr_Wint

    Spoilers, jeeez.

  • Angelo

    So far about those movie series coming back to life in 2015:
    Mad Max: unanimous success → 98% on RT
    Jurassic Park: divisive (personnally I liked it) → 71% on RT
    Terminator: seems terrible → 26% on RT
    Star Wars: ???

  • tOmy`

    I predict 80%.

  • Palpatine

    Maybe it’ll have 99%, just like Boyhood.

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    ???????????????????????

  • ultraterrestrial

    The Suspiria reboot depressed me more than I can tell you. If they go ahead with Logan’s Run I’m going to astral travel to another star system – permanently.

  • Angelo

    They’re exploiting our childhood movie memories. And they succeed because I’m gonna see everyone of them anyway.
    FUCK MOVIES

  • Palpatine

    You can go live in mine and can live in my old palace. Sadly, I’m banned from my galaxy.

  • Angelo

    If you see Jessi tell her we miss her.

  • ultraterrestrial

    Thank you, Palpy. Actually I think a reboot of Sapphire and Steel would really be the final straw.

    Edit: Best TV Show Ever… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7nU-X0m9GcQ

  • Mr_Wint

    Embrace the strange new thing between your legs.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Jessi contributed big time with the fantasy scenario to the Santa Claus movie post-production. Just for that, she is part of the HitB Hall of Fame (along with everyone else that has ever appeared in a HitB).

  • senorhuxtable

    What kind of food did the guy in the dino park have, androdon hash?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    It is no secret the writer is a Twin Peaks fanboy.

  • Palpatine

    I think that’s what he said. Although I think hadrodon hash is something else.

  • Ren1

    Yes! New content! Didn’t think i’d make it!

  • Sara Richardson

    <-********** Start working at home with Google! It’s by-far the
    best job I’ve had. Last Wednesday I got a brand new BMW since getting a
    check for $6000 this – 4 weeks past. I began this 8-months ago and
    immediately was bringing home at least $177 per hour.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Jack and Rich are just friends. Mike and Rich though…

  • Sully
  • RLMkeepitup

    what emotion is that? It’s like he’s making a new one

  • dejectedchuckle

    Did you shit in the Lebrons tOmy?

    I get more of a “The Wire” vibe from this season than Lynch I think.

  • Sully

    It’s called “Cage Rage.”

  • RLMkeepitup

    we all enter stages, only some of us escape to the next

  • Hank_Henshaw

    You gotta wonder how many people got to that video, only to find out it has nothing to do with some Argentinian football player.

  • Semi-Evil

    Oh my god, I’ve actually seen Lost in Dinosaur World. It was a made for tv movie for Nickelodeon. They showed it around the same time Jurassic Park was released. I can’t believe I remember it.

  • IntotheNightSky

    I don’t know, do they have the money for that? I have to imagine that would cost at least 20,000 dirham, if not more

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    That’s been embraced. A lot.

  • dejectedchuckle

    I saw Terminator Genysis in a nearly empty theatre and in a just world that movie would kill careers. What a clusterfuck.

    “I read about this on gunsandammo dot com.” -The Terminator

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Um, bacteria in milk?

  • dejectedchuckle

    That Christmas episode is still one of the best of the BotW they’ve ever done imo.

  • Torgo’s Giant Knees

    For decades, scientists warned us that we’d reach peak automantium in 1983, but we didn’t listen. We… WE DIDN’T LISTEN!

  • RLMkeepitup

    that was a true work of love

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I don’t believe you. I saw this thing on youtube, and James Cameron said he really thinks it is a good movie. Why would James Cameron lie? for frame of reference, he also liked AvP and Salvation. I haven’t seen it yet, but I’m sure it’s gonna be great.

  • stryker1121

    Damn it all I was thinking about hitting up a matinee on Friday, regardless of the stink lines emanating from this movie from the first trailer. One question: How many age jokes per minute are there.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    James Cameron probably gets a “Characters created by” credit or something, but it’s only worth a couple of bucks unless the thing makes a ton of bank, so James Cameron gotta pimp and pimp hard.

  • Hey, can we watch “Face Off” at the Hole some day? I got the urge to merge this bullet in my brain, relieve my pain.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    “Ahm o-wold. Naht ahbsolete.”

    As catch-phrases go, it came with cobwebs.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I think after Titanic he realized you can do an effects driven movie with a generic love or action plot and own the world.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    How does The Hole work? Is there a manual or something I could read up on? I know we’re not supposed to talk about it here.

  • stryker1121

    This is not good. I thought Arnie already looked old and out of place in Rise of the Machines.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I saw broken arrow on there once and it was amazing

  • I left you a link today. Do you still have it? I’ll explain there.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Yes.

  • Well, to be fair, the two leads are nothing compared to Nic Cage.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    “We’re called RED Letter Media, so we’ll get red couches! Again, it’s like poetry, sort of. They rhyme.”
    -Mike “George Lucas” Stoklasa, 2015

  • Angelo

    I’d watch a retrospective of Nicolas Cage’s greatest achievements, Con Air especially.

  • OK, get in the hole.

  • YES.

  • dejectedchuckle

    There’s a running gag about “old, but not obsolete” that gets repeated a few times.

  • Angelo

    How do you fuck up a Terminator movie really? What’s wrong with Hollywood?

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I really think they missed an opportunity with that line from the trailer, where the terminator-John Connor says: “I’m not machine. I’m not man. I’m… more.” Lame. He should’ve said: “I’m not machine. I’m not man. I’m… a manchine!”

  • dejectedchuckle

    James “The Maneron” Cameron probably had a hard time actually watching the movie with the hundred dollar bills they waved in his face the whole time.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    The man thinks the Avatar universe is so fascinating we have to spend 3 or 4 more movies with Sam Worthington’s character.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You should have seen him as the Governor of California.

  • Perhaps that’s our next theme.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    tOmy called it. Star wars will benefit critically from the whole “we don’t want geeks to think we’re irrelevant” thing that has been happening for about seven or eight years now, and it’s Rotten Tomatoes (ie: meaningless) rating, therefore, will hover in the 80%s. The crowds of blinkered knobs will LOVE it, and it will make a billion dollars in 14 minutes. In five months, it will be the subject of sneering contempt. There have been six Star Wars movies. Only two of them were any good. This ain’t hard to predict.

  • RLMkeepitup

    have you ever had hash? it’s amazing

  • Sully

    Psh… here’s some Cagestasy for you…

    http://i.imgur.com/BbyyGut.gif

  • RLMkeepitup

    at least that’s better than “I’m on vacation”

  • My soul is dancing.

  • dejectedchuckle

    I like Cameron, I really do. He’s a talented director and one of the best at blending cgi and practical effects. Has an eye for that, that very few of his contemporaries had. I even liked Avatar, even as paper thin as the story was there.

    I don’t think he’s ever leaving avatar land though. That’s his snowglobe.

  • Angelo

    I want to believe.

  • TMC_Sherpa

    Return of the King took 4 years and only got a 95 so clearly those extra 8 years paid off.
    Lets see…. Return of the Jedi was 1983…Revenge of the Sith was 2005…its currently 2015… So… 22 minus 10… carry the one.. and then there’s inflation… Huh. Tomy was pretty close. 81

  • DarkFluffy

    AvP is actually NOT great…

    It could work if done right I’m sure but AvP is like forcing a cube through a triangle hole.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I’m with you. I was just pointing out that Cameron sorta endorsed AvP (awful), Salvation (also awful), and now this. A couple of weeks ago the internet was all excited because Cameron said he liked Genesys. I thought it was not to be trusted given his track record.

  • Angelo

    Although I don’t really care about the RT score (it’s useful to see if a movie was well received or not) I do care about the quality of the movie itself. The trailer for SW7 looks promising, it might really be good.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    It will get a huge boost for being better than the prequels.

  • Angelo

    Irony was not perceived.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Just Rich Evans.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull → 78% on RT (Certified “Fresh”)

    The fucking movie didn’t even have any puppies!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    it’s ok, sometimes it happens.

  • Angelo

    The best critic of Crystal Skull is Spielberg himself.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rE7fzr6lQ-s

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Who’s fuckin’ with my medicine…

  • Hank_Henshaw

    “Independence Day is brilliantly directed by Roland Emmerich. It’s got everything you want in a movie.” Ooooh.

  • DarkFluffy

    Salvation confused me. :/ I know some people who actually liked it… and Mike and Jay, I believe, spoke positively about it (compared to T3), too.

  • Brian Levine

    Lost in Dinosaur World (the movie) is actually available on Amazon. There’s even a review:

    “One of the most brilliantly entertaining short family films ever put on video tape. It features a family of four who visits a dino-filled zoo called Dinosaur World. In the parallel universe in which this movie takes place, dinosaurs still exist, but they are confined to only this one zoo. The movie opens in, ten year old, Tim’s dinosaur themed bedroom (perhaps the same Tim from Jurassic park). Tim fills his backpack with everything he could need including food, water, flashlight and a compass. Tim’s younger sister Mary belittles him, “It’s a park, it’s not an African jungle or something”. Tim hastily exclaims, “There aren’t any animals in Africa with teeth the size of stake knifes! I’m ready for anything!” This is a film that was written for the young ones. I was seven when I first saw it, and I got tons of enjoyment out of it (and still do). Sure the dinosaur animatronics don’t exactly look real, but kids in the nineties didn’t care and they probably still don’t. Upon entering the park an employee warns them, “Stay on the marked paths and please don’t feed the dinosaurs”; of course this is a grim joke; by “don’t feed the dinosaurs” she clearly means “don’t get eaten”. The video is certainly more humorous than it is scary, because even the idea of being eaten by dinosaurs is handled quite lightly. “Visitors eaten this year: 0” says one big sign at the front of the park. The family’s first stop is at a hat stand, where the low-IQ mother is persuaded into buying a ridiculously large hat under the impression that a flying pteranodon might defecate on her head. “There’s enough room under my hat for all of us incase any pteranadon’s dive-bomb us”, this is the first mention of pteranodon poo in the film, though certainly not the last. At that point we see the first dinosaurs on the tour, which Tim educates his family (and ours) about. In fact, Tim knows everything about dinosaurs, more than any ten year old should ever know. But like most ten year olds, Tim just wants to see the Tyrannosaurus-Rex. Next stop, the restaurant; this is the highlight of the film. Every food item is named after a dinosaur: brontosaurus burgers, parasaurolophus punch and pachycephalosaurus soup are among the many items on the menu. “I don’t want to eat a dinosaur” Mary says. “Nobody’s eating dinosaurs, they’re rare and endangered, besides they’re just too hard to catch”. Suddenly, and without warning the waiters and waitresses sing a song about all the dinosaur themed menu items. It’s hilarious. In fact, I love it so much that I memorized the whole thing. Then Tim and Mary wonder off to find the T-Rex, but they get lost. Hence the title, “Lost in Dinosaur World”. When Tim’s compass breaks, the kids have no way of getting back to mom and dad, and it’s getting closer and closer to feeding time and their inevitable confrontation with the T-Rex. I give this video a five out of five. It looks fake, but you get what you pay for. Best penny (plus shipping) I ever spent. –B. Pavlack”

    But sadder still is that I have actually been to Dinosaur World (near Plant City, FL). After about 20 minutes you wish for one of the dinosaurs to eat you.

  • Brian Levine

    Oh, and my conspiracy theory is that they watched the movies before the Jurassic Park review, then Jay killed Mike (dammit, he’s had enough), and then they filmed the review portion, sans Mike.

  • stryker1121

    The way you guys melted that DVD was almost erotic.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Salvation is bad. People wanted a Future War movie since the first Terminator came out. And when they finally made it… it looked nothing like the Future War scenes in T1 and T2?!!! What?! Plus Terminator water snakes, terminator bikes, terminator transformers… eww. The only thing that I liked was the crude-looking T-700s or T-600s whatever those were called.

  • DanceOfBirther

    It has a stripper, I ask for no more.

  • Sully

    tl;dr which, coincidentally enough, coincides with the tl;dw review that I gave the movie.

  • Palpatine

    Wait, Tim from Lost in Dinosaur World is Tim from Jurassic Park?

    #MindBlown

  • DanceOfBirther

    It’s to fool you into thinking it was filmed in Dynamation™

  • DarkFluffy

    yepp! 🙂

  • Palpatine

    To me it’s one of those movie’s you put on for your kid when it’s time for them to take a nap.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    6.C and raining.

  • DanceOfBirther

    They should watch that god-awful version of The Prisoner with Jim Caviar, Caviezez, Caveman, Cavarny……. Mel Gibson’s Jesus.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    people wanted a dark claustrophobic war movie about the survivors of humanity, living like rats in the ruins of our city’s fighting chrome skeletons with lasers.
    we got dirt bikes in the desert in daylight.

  • Bubs

    Dear Sara Richardson, I have attempted to follow your business plan for the past 6 months. However, I have been getting repeated “Cease & Desist” letters and numerous visits from the FBI. After the last waterboarding session, I began to get the feeling something might be wrong with your program.
    Please advise.

  • Crixxxx

    Where is Jessi lately?

  • Sully

    Yeah, but you hate your Darth Minions children.

  • Palpatine

    She had to go, her planet needed her.

  • Palpatine

    Nah, kids are great. It’s really easy to turn them to the Dark Side.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    The same Californian desert we see in most movies.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I always thought that the “online job” was cam whoring.

  • Hard-on-don-hash. I’m confused. Is it something sexual, Italian or is it just hash?

  • It had prairie dogs, instead.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    she is great im sure she’ll be back. sometimes you can still hear her.

  • Bubs

    It’s also really easy to exploit them for financial gain or sexual purposes. Yeah kids are great.

  • Both.

  • Like Icare

    He doesn’t have to lie.
    There is a chance that the guy does actually like those moopies.

    But… he either likes them for their technical achievements, effects and such… And Cameron IS a guy who is a lot into the technical aspect of things.
    OR… He doesn’t really have that refined a taste and he likes them for their simple story and the boom-booms and bang-bangs.
    OR… A bit of both.

    Then again… There’s the issue of grapevine not exactly having the bandwidth to relay the full fidelity of what’s being said.

    E.g. He actually said on T3 and T4 that he is “not big fans of the films” and that they “did not live up to the potential” of T1 and T2.
    http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/22uz4m/i_am_james_cameron_ama/

    In the same AMA he says that Resident Evil is his guilty pleasure.

    As for AvP… He actually said he’d “rate it 3rd” of Alien movies at the time.
    http://www.aintitcool.com/node/22405

    Which kinda puts into perspective. Everyone has a personal ranking-list for those moopies.
    And the dude likes something about PWSAs movies.

    At the same time some of other things he says about AvP could be considered negative… like it being “comic book metaphorical” as opposed to Alien and Aliens which were trying to “make you think this is real” which is “a question of does the film take itself seriously or not.”

    I have a feeling that he is a bit… diplomatic. Not trying to really step on any toes, giving sorta “Pythian” answers, praising and criticizing at the same time. So anyone can take what they want from it.
    And people will. Like here:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKnS7CGWNmU
    No way he’s fuckin around there, no siree. He is talking to a guy dressed as a Hobbit, ears and all.
    He would never fuck around talking to that kinda guy.

  • They fucked it up 3 times already. That’s more times than they were able to make something decent.

  • In Terminator 2, Arnie says ‘I need a vacation’ after urning Robert Patrick into hot creamy goo.

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    This show is called “Mike in the Bag”, not the “Jessi Lately Show”. Sheesh get a job.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    All i know is in a noisy nightclub where you cant really hear what people are saying. NEVER look down and say
    “I like your Boots.”

  • Hilary Manfat

    I’m disappointed that Red Letter Media find Parkinson’s Disease funny… There’s far funnier movement disorders.

  • Palpatine

    Yeah, like Down Syndrome.

  • Hilary Manfat

    That’s not a movement disorder, that a massive head disorder.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Don’t be such a downer, their heads look normal size to me.

  • Palpatine

    No, that’s hydrocephalus.

  • Zach

    Loving the new set up. Red couches = classy motherfuckers.

  • Palpatine

    They are RedLetterMedia after all.

  • Luke

    There’s no need to watch their Terminator Genisys review I’m psychic and have it right here. “Action scenes go on for too long and are too repetitive, movies were so much better when we were kids, but atleast it’s better than Michael Bay and Roland Emerich”.

  • Mike’s mighty forearms were on display at the end

  • Palpatine

    Always in motion is the future.

  • Mr_Show

    Yay!

  • Malevolence

    “Sarah Conner, strap on please” oh wait… that was a line from a different kind of terminator film starring Arnold Swollenpecker

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    The shelves only took 4 hours: over 2 hours for the 1st, about 50 minutes for the 2nd, and roughly 45 minutes for the last. I swear each one weighed about 200-250 lbs. Flucking hard to stand those things up by myself.

    I’m $75 richer, though. Dolla dolla bills y’all!

  • Kenshiroh

    But he has a sister with a different name for some reason.

  • Palpatine

    Maybe it’s his step-sister. His parents were getting a divorce after all.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I’m not sure how prairie dogs factor in the suckability chart. Probably not very, because Cop Dog managed to best KotCS.

  • Dis

    Although he is Chinese…

  • Noah R.

    Well guys, all the begging and crying apparently paid off. Congrats, you assholes! 😉

  • Hank_Henshaw

    The more you guys ask about her, the less likely she is to ever return.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Sara Richardson is waiting for moderation, so I can’t reply to her. I’ll let you be a substitute instead.

    This Sarah Richardson person looks exactly like Gillian, it’s kinda creepy: http://hgtvhome.sndimg.com/content/dam/images/hgtv/editorial/profiles/talent/sarah-richardson/hgtv-avatar-talent-sarah-richardson.jpg.rend.hgtvcom.616.616.jpeg

  • WrongWithYourFace

    *woman

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Are sworn enemies.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Confirmed.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I keep seeing a fist.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Come on, you don’t even have think whe you can just google it.

  • Strelnikov

    Brad “the Cinema Snob” Jones reviewed Lady Terminator in 2010. http://www.thecinemasnob.com/the-cinema-snob/lady-terminator
    Only Indonesia could take a Javanese water deity and combine it with a Terminator ripoff.

    I think they ran Lost in Dinosaur World on Fox affiliates the year Jurassic Park came out. It was crap then, and worse now.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    *couch

  • Strelnikov

    Truly a wonderful series of racist jokes!

  • Joe Syxpac

    Ah, Parkinson’s…

    If only Mr. Parkinson had known how much joy he would be bringing into the world.

    Lou Gehrig completely fucked his up.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Screw the job, where the hell do I get a brand new BMW for six grand?

  • Strelnikov

    [loud fart noise, offstage]

  • Masa Soh Mengming

    What did that rotund gentleman say in the Giant Hamburger scene in “Lost in Dinosaur World”?

    Edward on hash?
    I am on hash?

  • Strelnikov

    Dinosaur hash.

  • Thanatos2k

    Should have destroyed Ishtar instead.

  • Thanatos2k

    I think Palpatine prefers shopping at the Dollar General Grievous.

  • Joe Syxpac

    They haven’t even watched Ishtar yet.

    I don’t think anyone has.

  • Jawski and Hooch

    Ironic that the special effects in ”Lost in Dinosaur World” are actually better than the special effects in ”Jurassic World”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jne9t8sHpUc

  • Thanatos2k

    And buying a new iron after they ruined that one.

  • Malevolence

    Seeing Cameron Mitchell wearing just the hood and sunglasses during the intimate bed scene was so absurd and dumb it made the Low Blow review worth it for me

  • Thanatos2k

    The music immediately started playing in my head.

  • Strelnikov

    People have seen it, but they blank it out with malt liquor binges.

  • Joe Syxpac

    That might explain the binge I had for the last three months.

  • Thanatos2k

    Don’t forget to add in the puppy factor.

  • Thanatos2k

    You may have noticed it. But you brain didn’t.

  • Thanatos2k

    Hard to top epilepsy.

  • Thanatos2k

    All the more reason to make sure no one ever does.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Rich is The Joker. Pics to prove it.

    http://i.imgur.com/5vMJ7Vq.jpg

  • Domo

    I wonder if Jim and Colin are going to enter the HiTB universe somehow.

    Maybe Jim and Colin take over the gaming business from Jack and Rich, and change their business model to selling Canadian merchandise. Empty Tom Green beer bottles for everyone to throw!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Or maybe they turn it into a CGI treehouse!

  • Jawski and Hooch

    What people don’t realize is, ”Low Blow” is actually the sequel to ”Lady Terminator”, which explains Cameron Mitchell’s alcohol abuse and lackluster performance, you really can’t blame the guy, I mean give the guy a break, the man has no penis.

  • Domo

    “I made Pre-Rec on that branch.”

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Is this true?

  • Strelnikov

    I think they were either trying to hide that Mitchell was stoned/drunk out of his mind, or it’s a joke on how crazy that character is.

  • Malevolence

    Mike, “That was a joke” “I’m not going to say it was a good one.” “Just that that was a joke.”

  • Malevolence

    I suppose, but it was just so funny and “wait… wha….?” that I wasn’t expecting it

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    They’ll offer people trips to Canada, where the penalty for smoking weed is hardly anything compared to the states.

  • Malevolence

    Just wondering who the person on the front of the Low Blow cover is even supposed to be? I’m assuming that jacket he’s wearing is hiding a 6 pack of belly folds

  • Jawski and Hooch

    Jean Claude Van Camp

  • Andrew Thompson.

    what was up with colin’s casual racisim? is canada the australia of the north?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    yes, its true. this man has no dick… well that what i heard!

  • Malevolence

    I wanted a different ending….. Wanted Rich to punch the dvd case and have it edited a split second before and replaced with a cake clone that explodes as he hits it

  • Jawski and Hooch

    Surely a punch of that magnitude would require a cameo by Len Kabasinski

  • Malevolence

    We don’t need Len, we have Rich who is like…. 10 Lens!!! taking mass into account

  • Jawski and Hooch

    Well he is sporting the Chuck Norris beard these days, that thing alone must weigh like 10 pounds

  • Malevolence

    Arnold, “Sara Richardson, I have been waiting for you” *cocks shotgun*

  • Malevolence

    Of GREATNESS!!!…. and probably dorito crumbs and booze

  • omitted

    Pervert!

  • Jillian

    Nope, it’s just dear old me, Sully’s evil cat’s ex-wife.

    The guys mentioned Miami Connection so many times in the video that I just had to.

  • Malevolence

    I wonder if the worst feeling in the world is when you have a room of like 30 guys while camwhoring and no one pays into your room….. I mean does that mean you failed as a cam whore and can you get any lower?

  • Jawski and Hooch

    Canada’s version of the KKK, is the CCC, the Cu Clux Colins.

  • omitted

    Speaking from experience I would have to say yes and no.

  • Malevolence

    I suppose getting paid for doing something you enjoy doing anyways is a pretty good setup though

  • Andrew Thompson.

    KFC?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Jay posted on twitter that the reason the Terminator GenitalSyst review is taking so long is be cause mike is getting back into “a CERTAIN CHARACTER…”
    new Plinkett Review?…

  • Dear Sara Richardson

    It’s 106 miles to Naboo, I’ve got a Pokemon machine, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark… and I’m wearing sunglasses.

    Marry me, pls?

    #StarTrekFanNo:1

  • Jawski and Hooch
  • omitted

    Nah, probably just some roleplaying in the bedroom…

  • Jawski and Hooch

    You do realize she has a snake living in her vagina right.

  • They were CG.

  • Angelo

    IT HAD JEFF GOLD-FUCKING-BLUM

  • Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

  • Red Skeleton

    A job I’m applying for needs my application by “midnight tonight”. Should I write back and point out midnight will technically be tomorrow, and that what she actually means is “11:59 tonight”. It’s a job in a school so I think displaying that level of technicality would only be a good thing.

  • omitted

    Just ask if they turn into a pumpkin.

  • Angelo

    How do you fuck up Future War.

    HOW DO YOU FUCK UP FUTURE WAR.

    (Haven’t seen Salvation, but I don’t think I missed anything)

  • Jawski and Hooch

    It might be a bit overkill for a janitor’s position bro, but hey it couldn’t hurt.

  • Angelo

    The third one is a complete mystery to me.
    The Terminator franchise was pure gold, and it turned to complete shit in one movie.

  • Good point. Where has that guy who has James Earl Jones as his avatar gone off to? I could use some help.

  • Jawski and Hooch

    You won’t have to look far, apparently he’s reprising his role in the upcoming Conan reboot, keep an eye out for the trailer.

  • Remember what happened to Alien 4? Granted, it wasn’t as terrible as Terminator 3 but it seems that quality is the first thing to get lost after the studio wants to come back to its successful franchise in order to make money, not because the story needs closure. Does Terminator 3 mention that Arnold left his own arm in the foundry in some cog sort of like the first terminator or do they blame fate?

  • Malevolence

    Think adding smartass to an application maybe a bad thing. Not saying it’s intentional, but that’s how it maybe perceived…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    yes, yes it is.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    arnt there child protection laws saying “No RLM Fan shall be allowed to work in schools, daycare centres and kindergartens.”

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Bring out the Gimp?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Ah, you must mean James Earl Jones.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Or Palpy. Wait is the tweet a lie, or what you said about the tweet a lie? Where can I find this tweet? Why did RedLetterMedia follow Chris Pratt and Sam “Starkiller” Witwer? What’s in the booooooox? Black goo?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    everything i said was a lie…

  • WrongWithYourFace

    But was the tweet lying?

  • Jawski and Hooch
  • Andrew Thompson.

    as i made up the whole thing i can confidently say in my imagination the tweet was real.
    and i am thinking that TG might just be bad enough to rouse Real Plinkett.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I tried to find innuendo in the song. It wasn’t hard.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i was… sorry what are we talking about?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Cocks and swallows.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    thats what got me hard. *omitted joke of the day.

  • Yes this.
    I was unsure cus everyone changes their names every third day.

    #OLDNASS

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i only change my name when i get banned!

  • omitted

    And doing it while I was popping into the grocery store. Naughty boys!

  • Jawski and Hooch

    Man I can”t wait for Jurassic World 2, Part 1: Rise of the Planet of the Dinosaurs, the reboot to Terminator vs Alien Part 4, Disc 3 Episode 7. which was a re-imagining of The Amazing Spiderman 2, which should not be confused with Spiderman 2 as the Amazing Spiderman was itself a reboot/ re-imagining of The Incredible Avengers Part 5: The Dark World a Good Day to Die Hard: Die Harder.

  • omitted

    *banged

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Nothing wrong with a bit of exhibitionism but I hope you cleaned up after yourself.

  • Jawski and Hooch

    and yes i do have the director’s cut, the producer’s cut, the theatrical cut, the extended edition and special edition on blu ray, dvd, and vhs.

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Solomon Wakeling

    When I was thirteen I made a stop-motion film with a cassette recorder. I realise now it has better special FX than “Lost in dinosaur world”. Best of the Worst has made me realise: I’ve wasted my life, I should have been making B-grade movies. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drqQZXt4JbA

  • Jawski and Hooch

    what no hd dvd 3d version? whats wrong with you man

  • Andrew Thompson.

    did you mean VHSBetaAudioSvideoMiniDV? there are lots of cassettes.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Dubbing this video with a cellphone videoing a CRT screen was genius! its retro as!

  • Solomon Wakeling

    MiniDV that I then recorded on to a VHS tape.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Wooo! I had that exact same Godzilla toy, but at the time I didn’t know to appreciate it because I didn’t realize it was Godzilla and all I really wanted was a T-Rex. That was the closest thing they had in the shop.

    Also, those star effects were pretty neat.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    I have 43 MiniDv tapes full of footage… but no working DV cam.(They dont like being blown up repeatedly)

    all i have left of 3 years of my life is this highlights reel i made.

    https://www.facebook.com/andrew.thompson.752/videos/vb.100000264211628/101428936542580/?type=3&theater

  • Solomon Wakeling

    I figured Plinkett was right: it’s good to show contempt for your audience.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Here’s how the famous scene from Blade Runner was made: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ql1UYyaG98w

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Frankly in this day and age a CRT is a sight for sore eyes.

  • I still use a CRT monitor on my PC. I don’t have latency issues.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Which will then flitter away for it being worse than RETURN OF THE JEDI.

  • So, I saw things blow up. A bad dummy shot (the one on the ground). Someone in a mutant costume and all that to crazy, loud music?

    Andrew, are you in some kind of a cult?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Fanboy.

  • I made one with my brother last year. It’s no better than yours. We just had the technological advantage of having an HD camera.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Yes. And also decline, because, really?

  • Solomon Wakeling

    Yes I don’t know what happened to that Godzilla toy. I would have preferred a T-Rex as well. The star effects were done by filming the screen saver on the menu screen of my Sega Saturn. I guess it was my equivalent of using stock footage. It really impressed the kids at school until I told them how I did it.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Ooh. Underemployment burn!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    BONUS!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    The Mutant(We called it corpsie.) is always a dummy. the reverse of its shooting show the steel pole holding it up.

  • omitted

    What is this, film school?! I came here to jerk off on to Jay’s beautiful face.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    And Melancholy.

  • It does look like Rutger Hauer.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Hard-on for hash.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    ♫ Seen the future and it will be ♫
    ♫ Seen the future and it works ♫

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    ♪ Bow-chikka-bow-wow ♪

  • Bubs

    Spinobifida (Spelling?) for the win, Alex

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    It’s not the fucking jungle.

  • Solomon Wakeling

    I remember the hardest part was trying to edit the footage with two VCRs hooked together: there’s a couple of second delay from pressing “record” to when it actually records. So getting a smooth transition from one scene to another was difficult.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Yes. Now I too am slightly less impressed, haha.

    I have sworn to myself that one day I’ll get me a camera and start making stopmotion animations. If I miraculously happen to find that Godzilla toy somewhere, I shall include it in a film as a tribute to you.

    I made some animationa as a kid but I never saved them because I just played them by scrolling through the pictures in the camera. I always just considered them as tests. I think I have one test with a Lego ninja that I compiled in WindowsMovieMaker somewhere.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You snake squeezer!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    I got given a bunch of lego transformers and have a laser pointer…. even if i just pile them all up and burn them its a better film than Michael Bay ever made.

  • Bubs

    I used to work an afterschool program teaching animation to little kids (1st to 3rd grade). They fucking sucked at it. I don’t know who thought it was a good idea to teach animation to kids, but they just don’t have the mental acuity for it.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Come on, SJW. It’s not like he called the dude Oriental.

  • Solomon Wakeling

    I made this as school homework. For some reason they gave a group of students two weeks off school to work on a project of their choosing, as some kind of experiment in self-directed learning or something. Anyway I made this and actually screened it for a group of students. Lots of oohing and ahing about the star effects and the spaceship, and then the let down when I explained how.

  • Jawski and Hooch

    you could literally film yourself taking a shit and it would be a better film than michael bay

  • Jawski and Hooch
  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Our standards just keep getting lower and lower. Thanks Marvel Cinematic Universe!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    that was fun. you learn the rhythm of the Vcrs.
    Play, 1, 2, RECORD…. wait, stop. play back.
    start over cause you missed it.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Chum owen.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    …3,4 2,2,3,4 3,2,3,4

  • Andrew Thompson.

    that is no way to make a movie.

  • The little shits, who do they think they are? Industrial Light & Magic?

    Did they at least have fun? Because I imagine it must have been hard to keep them focused with 10 second attention spans.

  • Should have gone with *jazz hands* and “movie magic”.

  • Bubs

    They had a lot of fun. It was all stop motion with legos and shit. They mostly just built stuff with the whole time. It was almost fucking impossible to keep them focused.

    Most of the time it was just me animating stuff for them so that they would have something to show their parents and I would still have a job.

  • omitted

    *mating with them

  • Jawski and Hooch

    and youd think kids would love the combination of legos and shit

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I went to such a thing on 2nd grade! And yes, the end result sucked. Probably because most couldn’t grasp on the concept of how stopmotion works. But at least I came up with the name: Techno Jungle. And we used my friends Transformers toys. The girls thought the chest plate was its head so the animation was all fucked up.

    Actually, I do still have it on a DVD, ripped from a VHS tape.

  • I’m squeezing one right now… What?

  • Bubs

    jizz hands*

  • They did it all for the Nukie.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    How dare you call me Joss Whedon!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i was… but i blew it up….

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Soap Bubs… its a thing.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i did it for the joy of the big bang. i’m building a new city set now for some new Splosions.

  • Jawski and Hooch

    you just want him to bend over n pick up that soap, come on be honest.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    way to spoil the moment!

  • Solomon Wakeling

    Yes. Sometimes I could get it right, and other times not so much. I think the failures add to the retro charm.

  • Solomon Wakeling

    Yeah I can see that now. Keep the bastards guessin’.

  • Jawski and Hooch
  • Palpatine

    *Click-click-click-click-click!*

  • Andrew Thompson.

    @Redlettermike:disqus
    I really think the FAILURE! of Tyrminator GenitalCyst is worthy of The Full Plinkett.
    Not since Krystal Skull has my childhood joy for a great movie been raped so badly.
    Help us Obi Mike Kenobi, you’re our only hope….

  • Palpatine

    Lord Plinkett shall rise once more. .

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Bout time Rich Damnit’

  • Jawski and Hooch
  • Andrew Thompson.

    sooooooooooooooo…?
    how long till you delete this persona?

  • Palpatine

    He’ll delete it on Tuesday.

  • Jawski and Hooch
  • Palpatine
  • Jawski and Hooch

    nice one

  • Andrew Thompson.

    https://youtu.be/rBJLoYd8xak

    sorry i was thinking of something else….

  • Jawski and Hooch

    awesome

  • omitted

    At this rate we’ll have it in 2027.

  • Palpatine

    I see what you did there.

  • Jawski and Hooch

    was rather clever

  • Andrew Thompson.

    I learnt to surf at Bells Beach. this song always makes me miss the south coast waves.

  • Jawski and Hooch

    great tune

  • Palpatine

    Still doesn’t beat Night’s in White Satin aka the greatest song of all time.

  • Palpatine

    Reminds of me of the old RLM short films. Only a trillion times better.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    this is not even close to the top but it floggs the moomie blau.

    https://youtu.be/R3rnxQBizoU

  • Jawski and Hooch

    agreed, you got good taste there

  • Jawski and Hooch

    just a shot away

  • Jawski and Hooch

    how did Bart eloquently put it? this movie sux and blows at the same time

  • Solomon Wakeling

    Thanks Palpy.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Clever girl.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Jaws why do you delete your self?

    https://youtu.be/ypApKTXuOxU

  • Jawski and Hooch
  • Like Icare

    The could have cut down on a LOT of the Blade Runner work by simply making their Roy Battys and Leon Kowalskis into purple and green Klingons with giant fangs, horns, cat eyes, fur all over their bodies and a bad BO.

    Can’t hide that in a crowd of humans.
    And Zhoras and Prises clearly can’t outrun a bullet. There. Problem solved.

    Are you reading this future humans?
    Keep good care of my cryopod, plenty more ideas like that where that one came from.

  • tOmy`

    Oh yea, definitely. I wanted to mention it during the small review of the second episode here.

    Not only is the Vinci corrupt and fucked beyond measure. That whole “briefing” of the main heroes was really right up The Wire alley. Different agendas, double-crossing and set-up to fail really felt familiar. The only thing that felt a bit different was the fact that all 3 forces wanted to have the case. If this was The Wire, they would throw the case between each other like hot potato – afteral, stats are stats! I didn’t mention it in my sum-up, because I think there is not a lot of RLM regulars that saw The Wire, so that whole “stats game” would probably fall a bit flat here.

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Like Icare

    You have too high of an opinion of human race.
    There is no such thing as failed camwhoring.
    Every type has a fan base – with about half the population of the planet falling into potential fan base under the right conditions.

    There are people out there who can only jerk off to old black and white porn.

    Over 7 billion humans. No niche is too small.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    ♪ When I was thriteen, I had my first love,
    There was nobody that compared to my baby
    And nobody came between us or could ever come above
    She had me going crazy, oh, I was star-struck,
    She woke me up daily, don’t need no Starbucks.
    She made my heart pound, it skipped a beat when I see her in the street and
    At school on the playground but I really wanna see her on the weekend.
    She knows she got me dazing cause she was so amazing
    And now my heart is breaking but I just keep on saying…

    Baby, baby, baby oooh
    Like baby, baby, baby nooo
    Like baby, baby, baby oooh
    I thought you’d always be mine (mine) ♫

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Casual racism? Uh oh, seems like a certain Taco needs to watch the rest of a certain video … namely this one.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You can now get your kids a color-“morphing” Indominus Rex toy at Target, and, Jeebus, is it an ugly piece of plastic crap.

    So, if you hate your kids, there’s that now.

  • Like Icare

    You have squandered your talent. SQUANDERED!!!

    On a side note…
    It took me a while to realize that “a cassette recorder” might be what some might call a video camera.
    At first I thought you meant this:
    http://www.retrothing.com/2005/11/fisherprice_pxl.html

    Now I feel old.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Am I an idiot? Should I know what camwhoring is?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    ♫ Raaaaaay-eeeep! Murdaaaaaahhh! Oooh, yeah ♫

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Get your kids a job! #$$$TRU CASH$$$. e-mail NigerianPrince@RussisnWebbzone.Ru

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Beebs?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Magic Mike beat Ahnold’s Box Office on Wednesday by the length of Channing’s penis.

    But, just the tip.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Hahahaha. Nice.
    Watched it and commented thrice.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Yeah, my fellow Canadian buddy boy … *dies*

    Song sticks in your head like an audio virus.

  • Jawski and Hooch

    so its basically an exact replica of the movie one then

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Don’t beat yourself up too badly. Good music has come from Candadia, too. Neil Young, Joni Mitchell, for examples.

    Granted, it’s maybe been decades, but, hey, that’s as good as New Jersey.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Except, plastic.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    so its not a CGI mess. unsubscribe!

  • Jawski and Hooch

    only because you keep going back for repeat viewings

  • Andrew Thompson.

    the best bit is watching The Producers scramble to tell everyone that the next one is in development. they are in to deep and have to keep adding more lies.

  • tOmy`

    Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

    1) Thanks to RLM suggestions:
    Machine Gun Fellatio: Paging Mr. Strike (8/10) Great summer jams! Also, seeing what you listen to, Andrew, makes me understand your depravity even more.
    Four Tet: Morning_Evening (7/10) As per usual, killing it. Morning > Evening.

    2) Mental preparation for festivals:
    A-Trak: Tuna Melt EP (6/10)
    CocoRosie: Tales of Grass Widow (9/10) Holy shit, what an album. Fans of Morcheeba / Björk will love it. Dirtier than Cheeba, less fucked up than the Iceland diva.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Yes, but on the Pa Kent scale? Should I stop listening to the new Richard Thompson on repeat to check any of this out?

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Brack to the Future

    Last night I awoke from a dream where “Michael Biehn Forever” was writ large in clouds on a cerulean sky.

    So I got up and watched Terminator on Netflix. And you know, it’s actually pretty crappy. The way Reese died at the end was needless and sloppy. Linda Hamilton’s titties are too pointy. That one cop says “Olympic” funny. /nitpick

  • tOmy`

    CocoRosie is definitely must hear at least for her voice. Rest depends on your hateful stance towards hip hop beats and reliance on effects. I think it is a perfect middle ground between Cheeba and Björk, so if you don’t mind these bands, you should be good to go.

    Machine Gun should be more up your real instruments alley + fucked up lyrics, which never hurts. I also mentioned the collab FFS few days ago, piano driven, tongue in cheek with some hilarious lyrics pop-rockish album borrowing heavily from current US / UK scene and 70s 80s theatrical fun and prog-rock.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    if this dont work for you MGF aint for you. it is a grumpy song.

    https://youtu.be/4LNhEo4sPqk

  • tOmy`

    A wise man once said: When your album features a song called “(Let Me Be Your) Dirty Fucking Whore” you can’t fail by default.

  • Brack to the Future

    I love the old Tape Loop and the new Tape Loop but *their* Tape Loop sucks. Bjork is not from here, so that makes her #P in my book.

  • tOmy`

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ac3qj-E4K4M

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGAwp5syXyE (more obvious “we don’t take this very seriously” song.)

  • Andrew Thompson.

    you should have seen what they did on live TV.

    https://youtu.be/PCEp9XR1c7Q

    i love australia.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    yupp that’s exactly how it will go down.

  • Jawski and Hooch

    did you find yourself in a tent with sticky sheets

  • Solomon Wakeling

    No you’re right, I meant video camera. But one of the old timey ones.

  • omitted

    *fresh cumtent

  • Andrew Thompson.

    *Cuming with intent…
    although gay people may be ‘Camping’ Within tent.
    the U.S government said so.

  • tOmy`

    “The plot of Hard To Be A God—the late Aleksei German’s decades-in-the-making medieval sci-fi flick—is relatively straightforward, but it’s often difficult to follow, because it’s buried under all of the mud, muck, smoke, decay, and shit that German crams into every frame. To put it another way: If Hard To Be A God isn’t the filthiest, most fetid-looking movie ever made, it’s certainly in the top three. ”

    Hey, this is based on my favorite book! Come on, movie people, why didn’t anyone tell me about it?!

  • Hank_Henshaw

    I saw it in the news. >.>

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Whats a German?

  • Jawski and Hooch

    a germ man is somethin similar to bacteria, sheesh science 101 bro

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I’ll take Jessi every time giving a blank stare 75% of the time while watching these videos versus Jack forcing a fake laugh every nanosecond.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    The best Jurassic Park toys, are unofficial figurines made by a French company called Papo. They aren’t really toys, but are nicely sculpted. The old toys by Kenner and the newer toys by Hasbro are absolute crap.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Rasist!

  • Jawski and Hooch

    *Colin

  • dollar store cashier wife

    I enjoy the second half of season 2 in a “so bad it’s good” kind of way.the drop in quality once Laura’s case gets solved is insane and if Lynch woudn’t have come back for final episodes I’d imagine season 2 ending to be on par with a lifetime movie.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    *Tony Abbott!

  • omitted

    *timey wimey

  • omitted

    So you’ve seen it too? And know how underused Matt Smith was…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Who would say that?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    he is planed as a over arching big bad….. meh.

  • omitted

    wibbly wobbly

  • Hank_Henshaw

    OMG I used to make claymation superhero shorts as a kid, and I also made the movie titles on paint (I think) and filmed them off from the computer screen with my dad’s handicam. It was embarrasing rewatching those recently, I did voices for every character, so you got a bunch of superheroes sounding like a 10 year-old kid making “grown up” voices. 🙂

  • omitted

    Spoilers!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    But do i have the right?

  • dollar store cashier wife

    no movie ever made will ever underuse Matt Smith more then In Bruges.

  • omitted

    Is your TARDIS bigger outside your pants?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Now streaming on Netflix. I have it queued for tonight, but, to be frank, the “filthiest, most fetid-looking movie ever made” thing frightens me.

    The toilet doesn’t entertain me as much as you might think it oughtta.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    oh sweetie you havent seen anything yet! *blows kiss and opens the airlock

  • tOmy`

    Well, the book itself makes you feel a bit dirty. I wonder if the director got carried away or whether he kept it more on the down low as per the original material. There is lost of nastiness, but nothing too far fetched given the fact that it takes place on a “medieval” planet.

  • omitted

    So in your timeline we’ve already been married?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Nothing to do with the topic at hand, but you did mention “nastiness” and “medieval planet”…So far since the South Carolina church murders and subsequent Confederate flag debate, seven A.M.E. churches in the south U.S. have been burned. Three of those incidents have been confirmed for arson. You might not have heard as much about this abroad as you heard, just for example, about all the spring riots. Because, ???

  • omitted

    The victims are white bigots?

  • Jason Ross

    possibly posted already … but I recognized Lost In Dinosaur World as soon as they mentioned the title.

    Based on the read-along audiobook:

    http://www.amazon.com/Lost-Dinosaur-World-Geoffrey-Williams/dp/0977138119

    I had the book and casette

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Definitely, nope.

  • Jawski and Hooch
  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Did you know? This little ditty was blacklisted after 9/11, and ClearChannel radio stations would no longer play it.

  • Jawski and Hooch

    its a mad world

  • tOmy`

    I heard about the first one – back then it wasn’t ruled as an arson. didn’t hear about any others tho. Our current news is occupied by our retard of a president chilling on his blow-up boat and Greece’s brave venture into the clusterfuck.

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Our current news is occupied by 46 Republican Presidential candidates and Trump’s second-place standing in Iowa. Because, America wants a bold leader™.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    spoilers….

  • Solomon Wakeling

    I think it’s awesome to still have these relics of childhood. I learned what stop motion was from visiting the Powerhouse museum in Sydney when I was little, they had an exhibit on film special fx. They had like a green screen and all this other stuff. I remember a picture of George Lucas working with a model of an imperial walker from Empire and something clicked.

  • omitted

    *bald

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    *balled

  • Andrew Thompson.

    for example take the rabid right wing Australian Prime Minister… no seriously TAKE HIM!!! the U.S must have some ‘Black Site’ that could shut him up?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I have only one such case of 10-year-old making “grown up” voices. Mostly I was wise enough to avoid recording my voice in any form but that time it was impossible. It was a school film course and I played some fedora-wearing detective, I think. The others made fun of my adult imitation afterwards, but god dammit, if I play an adult, I sure as hell do my best sounding like one!

    It was already awkward watching it then, I don’t think I could bear watching it today. At least we didn’t have to show it to the class.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Your a Welshie? EEEEW!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    There are plenty of good Canadian bands that never really make it into the US.

  • Jawski and Hooch

    well just think how intense The Apprentice is gonna be if he wins

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    He’s been kicked off it by the network.

  • Jawski and Hooch

    America, fuck yeah…

  • Solomon Wakeling

    Well I’m a New South Welshie I guess.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    My favorite is William….? yes that one!

    https://youtu.be/zI3UfxyIdgs

  • Jawski and Hooch

    well there’s what 3 certain things in life? death, taxes, and shitty terminator sequels

  • omitted

    It would seem that mine is bigger.

    http://i.imgur.com/EhDXrBo.jpg

  • Andrew Thompson.

    I’m Victorian…
    i was just taking the piss.

  • instant relief

    Bob Marley explains it best in this song:
    We’re German and I hope you like German, too.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHW-ycESaM8

  • Solomon Wakeling

    Oh thank God. For a second there I thought you were someone who thought Sydney was in Wales.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    The markings on yours are less canon though.
    lets call it a draw…
    or should i bring out my Dalek gun?

    https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-6CSSCZotQ00/VLJbSZGdr9I/AAAAAAAAAMU/QITzbUGNGvA/w1028-h577-no/2012-07-22_18-17-17_281.jpg

  • omitted

    Is it my fault that I rubbed it so hard the note on the door came off? I guess it is…
    I have a blue sonic too!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    that made me laugh. thank you.

  • Like Icare

    I’m not dissing you or anything… just commenting that at first I thought it would be a lot more retro cause my brain went an entire decade further in the past at the mention of “cassette recorders” for video.

    Incidentally, people now use those for art projects to get that instant retro-digital feel.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSu7NjC51Xs

    Then I thought that I’m old. 🙂

    It’s the technology gap.
    13 at 1996 makes you about only 4-5 years younger in years, but the location/culture/civilization gap probably ads a decade or maybe two in there somewhere.
    So you see that as a “cassette” camera and not a “chip” or “disc” or “film” camera while I see it as “box you get to make video on tevee”.

    Well at least I don’t think of it as a fuckin camcorder.
    Now THAT would be embarrassing.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    shut up and pass me the joint!

  • Like Icare

    Yes.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Oh … Lol.

  • instant relief

    I don’t have one. :<

  • Andrew Thompson.

    I have the doctors pocket watch and about 300 books, and 100 DVD’s.
    only a few thousand to go…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    well how am i going to achieve Instant Relief?…

  • Like Icare

    Wait… KKK is not pronounced as quebec in Canadaland? Aaah… shit.
    That explains a lot.

  • Like Icare

    You still got those places that The Queen used for testing nukes. Maybe you can somehow lure him there? Like…
    Tell him you’re makin a movie.

    It worked for John Wayne…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    And stupid people are everywhere, Toothpaste is not the only thing in a tube, Omitted is gay, Rich is god, in a quantum field you can know the position or the direction of a particle but not both! and the gap between RLM content is to large…
    should i go on.

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • instant relief

    Just buy some weed yourself.

  • omitted

    100 DVDs? So you like OldWho too? Eewwww….

  • Andrew Thompson.

    can you lend me $20 till Tuesday?

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Fun fact: one day after this BotW was made, Mike was diagnosed with early onset Parkinson’s disease. He later became a strict practitioner of Buddhism. The moral of the story is… If you play with fire, you’re gonna make lemonade. Spread the word.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i will go all Tom Baker on your arse!

  • omitted

    Good luck not tripping all over that gay scarf.

  • Like Icare

    Linda Hamilton’s titties are too pointy.

    That’s crazy talk.

  • Like Icare
  • Andrew Thompson.

    i would love to see one of your new fangled fancy companions grab a baseball bat and BEAT THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF A DALEK!

    I Miss ACE.

    https://youtu.be/pYR5lINNrsE

  • Andrew Thompson.

    More telling is that only one day in. we are posting music videos and me and Omitted are talking about Scifi tv shows that no one else watches….
    we have become content junkies!

  • Like Icare

    Well… I didn’t say it would be easy.

    Maybe do it at night? You can’t read signs on blocks of concrete at night.

  • omitted

    I’d rather have Rory stand guard over me for millennia. The Girl Who Waited, pfft!

  • Ogrot

    Low Blow looks awesome, but how did you guys miss the chance to have a reboot, remake, re-imagining episode by just swapping out Low Blow for one of the many Mad Max exploitations?

    You’d then have Terminator Genisyspace, Jurassic Galaxy, and Furry Road all sharing the same table.

  • omitted

    *virus

  • omitted

    Yeah, before a heavy dose like BotW could sustain us for a week… Damn you all to hell, RLM!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Rory is Bad ARSE!

    https://youtu.be/4I-efBSAUiY

  • omitted

    Damn, now I have to change my panties.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Speaking of content and drugs, has anyone seen Mr. Plinkett lately?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i heard they cut it with baking powder to dilute the dose.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    That says more about us, and our ADHD, than anything about RLM.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i saw him on Tuesday.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    sorry what? i was punching the f5 key with my fist…..

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You’re on the right, and everyone knows the dutchie goes to the left-hand side.
    #GetHereEarlierIfYouWantTheGoodSeat

  • Andrew Thompson.

    *Pantaloons. all the cool kids are wearing them.

  • omitted

    *racist Canadians

  • Sully

    When eating a blackhole, it’s important to remember to start at the center and not at the event horizon.

    Pound Sign: OutOfContextQuoteOfTheDay

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Stop holding it while your talking! its not a fucking cigarette!

  • Jawski and Hooch

    low blow was supposed to be a mad max clone but when the actor turned up on set he couldnt drive so they just went with it, its mad max for the retarded

  • Jawski and Hooch

    kinky

  • Andrew Thompson.

    baking powder would explain why Colin is so white… that or the never seeing the sun! HAHAHAH…. oh… sorry.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    They did say the best thing about LOW BLOW was the car.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe
  • Andrew Thompson.

    BUT!? How could you?… the….
    The physics says yes…. thats not right!

  • omitted

    Did you know that the revival of Doctor Who is all thanks to the gays? After his hit series Queer as Folk and Bob & Rose the condition Russell T Davies set for cuming to work for the BBC was the return of the Timelord.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Is it time to pay the rent all ready?

  • omitted

    But what about rimming?!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    did you see the Doctor Who references in QaF or read about them?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    rimming a black hole would lead to temporal stasis?
    are you ready for that kind of eternal commitment?

  • tOmy`

    Can I just say that Donald Trump is quickly becoming my new favorite stand up comedian?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2O6Nmx_kZMQ

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i have been laughing at him for years.

  • instant relief

    Jesus, again? Okay, fine, whatever. It’s all for the greater good I suppose.

  • omitted

    Hey, I used to be Vince: a gay Doctor Who fan with a dead-end job at the supermarket and hung up on a guy I couldn’t have. Now only two of those things are true since I’m unemployed at the moment.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Do you have any papers?

  • omitted

    *gayer

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    He’s got nothing in his repertoire to match “jiggery-pokery” or “pure applesauce.”

  • Andrew Thompson.

    if you where here i would give you a ‘Job’

  • omitted

    Isil’zha veni! In Valen’s name!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    You’re not a married man are you Ericson?

  • Jawski and Hooch

    well when your middle name is duck, you gotta have a sense of humor

  • omitted

    Hey, sucking a cock is hard work. Have you tried it?

  • omitted

    Only to tOmy` in your imagination!

  • omitted

    So which one is it gonna be: a sandwich or signing these annulment papers?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Walter Whites death is one of the best moments of B5
    and BrBa

  • Andrew Thompson.

    *Head Job.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    An indication of American progress since The ’80s…Back then, Ronald Reagan stroked Patriotism and Morning and all-manner of cheerleading, but yesterday, in his campaign introduction Chris Christie, corrupt Governor of New Jersey (allegedly), invoked the word weakness roughly two dozen times.

    Conservativism. Doesn’t Seem To Be Good For You 2016™

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Have you ever tried explaining that to a WOMAN!
    “i know you think your trying. all women think they are trying…. your not.”

  • omitted

    Thank Rich I won’t ever have to do that. Nor lick a vagoogoo… *shivers*

  • Andrew Thompson.

    yeah but RayGun was nuts

    https://youtu.be/1pkVLqSaahk

  • DarkFluffy

    No, RLM team a Dimetrodon (lizzard with the sail on the back) was not a dinosaur.
    Infact it is speculated if it could have been a “distant cousin” of the first mammals.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    True? Palpatine! We need your paleontological expertise again!

  • Like Icare

    Watched “The Seven Five” last night. Pretty good documentary on corrupt cops in 1980s Brooklyn. There is a strong “Goodfellas with cops” vibe about it.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vM0IOHiZSl4

    And I just kept coming back to how much the corrupt cop Michael Dowd looks and acts like Rich Evans, now that he’s older and fatter.

    http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.2010343!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_635/cops14k-2-web.jpg
    http://i.ytimg.com/vi/9jDmhOI3X_I/maxresdefault.jpg

    Now… I’m not sayin that Rich Evans is necessarily genetically predisposed towards sociopathic and criminal behavior… all I’m sayin is he should not be trusted with money, power, cocaine or Star Wars droids.
    And should he show up at your door with flowers… do not open.

  • omitted

    But she’s an anthropologist!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    We’ve all seen what he does with a droid toy. Nobody in their right mind would let him alone with the “real” thing.

  • Jawski and Hooch

    yeah well maybe, but, jack is a distant cousin of the first mammals i know that much

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i was going to tell you how good it is. but why waste my time or yours.
    i’ll be the meat in the sandwich and it wont be your problem.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Why do we pick on Jack, again?
    #TeamJack

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Dammit, Jim!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i agree! Jack is clearly some kind of Pterodactyl.

  • omitted

    Should I use the mail slot as a glory hole then?

  • Jawski and Hooch

    *slut

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Are you the backdoor Mayor?

  • omitted

    So a threesome with the mailman?

  • omitted

    I like my sandwiches with extra sausage. Hear that, tOmy´?

  • Like Icare

    Depends.

    Do you suspect that you might become a target of kidnapping for the purpose of delivering you to Dominican drug cartels?

    If so, I’d stay away from that mail slot.

  • omitted

    If it meant that I’d get to blow God once, it just might be worth it.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Thou Shalt Not Blow. Thou Shallst Be Blown.

    #YourMind

  • instant relief

    Can you get any gayer than gay?

  • Like Icare

    Well, there is a lot of good blow down south… It’s the climate I guess.

  • instant relief

    No.

  • Jawski and Hooch

    well thats one way to be filled with the holy spirit

  • omitted

    Triple penetration?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    tOmys not posting music you never heard of so…..

    https://youtu.be/tI3mcR0-wjQ

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Both!

  • instant relief

    You little whore!

  • omitted

    Even those filthy Catholics get to swallow the body of Christ all the time. What about us poor souls who follow the Great Evans? I demand equal rights!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    can i get another $1 for papers?

  • omitted

    Is TeamJack another way of saying circle jerk? Because if it is I’m in!

  • instant relief

    If you come to my place we could use my bong. 😉

  • omitted

    *dong

  • Andrew Thompson.

    We get to masturbate in front of jesus too. he is always watching. the perv!

  • omitted

    I always masturbate in front of a picture of Jaysus and send him a video of it…

  • Palpatine

    It’s true. Trust me, I’m a doctor, kind of.

  • Andrew Thompson.
  • WrongWithYourFace

    Donald Trump can smile?!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaXCrMy2mwc

    You couldn’t even save Padamé!

  • Palpatine

    I wanted to be a paleontologist before I went into politics.

  • omitted

    *mayo

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Never mind the sandwich!

  • instant relief
  • Andrew Thompson.

    yeah but now me an omitted have you surrounded….

  • omitted

    Quick, grab the back and I’ll handle the trunk front!

  • Malevolence

    What if the Terminator changes history so many times the world ends up being the Mad Max Universe and Furiosa’s robot arm which doesnt make sense in a post apocalyptic 80’s noir setting is actually pieced together tech from a Terminator?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    sorry did you just say “Make sense” in a comment referencing mad max and terminator in a timeline you made up?!!!

  • Malevolence

    Think you didn’t read it all the way…. “in a post apocalyptic 80’s noir setting”… to get a point…. you must know what that “point” is

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Before you say “Sense” you need to make it.

  • Malevolence

    [My Point]—————————> [You]

  • Wait, THIS is the new Terminator film? Jesus Christ it looks amazing!

  • omitted

    So you stick him with your pointy end?

  • Malevolence

    Think you’re too hung up on the “What if” and ignoring the “Why is a robot arm in a film where they have cars pieced together like Low Blow’s shack”

  • Andrew Thompson.

    my point is any one who wants sense from a Mad Max movie is not looking in the right place… if you want well made mayhem?

  • Like Icare

    Mad Max universe is perfectly compatible with any Terminator universe where most man vs. machine battles take place around L.A. anyway.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    they have cars…. guns…. someone who makes really nice white cloth for slave girls…..
    let it go.

  • Malevolence

    I think you need to stop being so defensive….. remove the George Miller replica cock out of your ass

  • Andrew Thompson.

    no. i like it.

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    cuz the medical sector is still working, the auto industry isn’t. almost like real life for Detroit.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Well…It’s not a robot arm. It’s a mechanical arm. “Robot” implies advanced electronics, which wouldn’t make any sense in Mad Max context. “Mechanical” arm, however, is perfectly consistent with a universe where cars are a major deal.

    So, um, as far as sense goes. I just made it.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Again. The cock is not robotic.

  • omitted

    I have one with Tom Hardy’s ‘likeness’…

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    In this case, “robotic” is applicable.

  • Malevolence

    That’s the thought process that led to Yoda using a lightsaber…. I feel George Miller or the Art Director just thought it would be cool. Which is okay, just saying it didn’t make sense in that setting. That’s it. Not hating on the movie because I loved the movie. Just that out of this overthetop somewhat believable apocalyptic setting full of psychos driving pentos, there is a robot arm. Eh, doesn’t change it being awesome movie

  • omitted

    *robodick

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Yoda in the prequels is gibberish not mayhem.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Read below and understand the difference between “robotic” and “mechanical” and then you’ll be alright, provided you stop making this silly robot arm argument.

    Edit: This is the geekiest argument I’ve ever been involved in. I think I’ve finally been broken by the internet.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Wait. What are you looking at?

  • It’s a joke based on Plinkett’s “review” of the first Force Unleashed trailer.

  • Jawski and Hooch
  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I’ll allow it.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    You BASTARD!!!

  • Jawski and Hooch

    :p

  • Jawski and Hooch

    you’re trying to hit on him aren’t you

  • omitted

    With his Doctor Who collection, who isn’t?

  • omitted
  • WrongWithYourFace

    Wait, what? What’s that?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    that hurts my brains!

  • *Force Awakens :D, I got the terrible video game from years ago mixed up with the upcoming movie.

  • Then a Hellbeast Ate Them

    “80’s noir”? How the hell is Mad Max noir?

  • Why, thank you

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    “I don’t noir what it is, but I like it!”

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    My pleasure. Any time we may be of service here at Up-The-Ass Elephant, Curios and Baubles, please do not hesitate to inquire.

    (“Up-The-Ass” is not intended as a sexual reference, but since we are located in Indiana, we must let it be known that we are open to all. Wait. That’s not what I meant, either…Entrepreneurship ain’t easy!)

  • Jawski and Hooch

    i think it was a typo, he didnt put in the comma, no,ir which is text speak for no indians round here, i know right, bloody racist!

  • Jawski and Hooch
  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Whatchoo talkin’ ’bout, Willis?

  • Jawski and Hooch
  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Gibberish, not mayhem, in the prequels Yoda is.

  • Like Icare

    Hmm… you could make robots with mechanical computers, no need for electronics.
    But they would probably have to be huge… wait a minute…
    https://www.warnerbros.co.uk/~/media/images/warner%20bro/movies/wild%20wild%20west/gallery/1005365977.ashx

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Oh, Jon Peters. (sigh)

  • Sully

    Different hole.

  • tOmy`

    Wait a minute…

    So if Star Wars: Force Gets An Early Morning Wank is set further in the movie history…

    Does it mean they can make Prequels to the Sequels that would take place after the Original trilogy?

  • tOmy`

    The only Daddy Cool I approve of:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bX8aF0fGIwE

    I admit, I may have a small crush on Brian.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Affirmative.

  • tOmy`
  • omitted

    A foxhole, perhaps?

  • omitted

    So now you’re K-9?!

  • Sully
  • Sully
  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I was going for mostly Newt. Mostly.

  • omitted

    My favorite from Placebo. Reminds me of… someone

    https://youtu.be/vP0ngiMBnas

  • Sully

    Yup. There’s 20-30 years of story potential there, which I’m guessing the Anthology films will make use of at some point.

  • omitted

    *Andrew-logy

  • Sully

    You’re not even trying anymore.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    The Star Wars Cinematic Universe

    Please get excited for an after credits scene in The Force Awakens that will tease Boba Fett spinoff which will tie into Star Wars Episode VIII which will tie into Empire/Rebel World War III which will tie into …

  • omitted

    Quantity over quality, just like Momma used to make ’em.

  • Like Icare

    Yes. This.

  • omitted

    When Thanos popped up at the mid-credits scene of Age of Ultron my friend turned to me and asked: “Who the fuck is that?” Turns out he hadn’t seen Guardians of the Galaxy. Sigh.

  • omitted

    *Midquels

  • Like Icare

    There’s plenty of room in between. Always.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wars:_Shadows_of_the_Empire

    Remember Shadows of the Empire and Prince Xizor and Dash Rendar? No? Good for you.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Wise man your friend is.

  • tOmy`

    Funny thing: both songs we posted are actually covers.

    I was lucky enough to see them live in their neo-glam era – Brian in his women’s white blouse, smoking on stage, black eyeliner, selling the shit out of every track they played. I just love their androgynous, sleazy and twisted vibe… unfortunately, despite not sucking, they are lately more grounded. It’s a shame, really, I know their albums even backwards, they make up a lot of my best memories.

  • tOmy`

    I am quite frankly more interested to see the Rogue One movie than Force Awakens.

  • Strelnikov

    So it’s like Tarkovsky’s Andrei Rublov but without the spiritual uplift and all the pretty icons at the end.

  • Malevolence

    When seeing the cover to Lady Terminator, reminded me of this scene from Indian Terminator for some reason…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yBnl_krN_U&t=2m00s

  • Malevolence

    Robot arm, mechanical arm…. last time I checked robots are mechanical… but whatever… it’s a prosthetic arm somehow tied into her muscles/nervous system because she can move the fingers on it

  • dejectedchuckle

    Yeah the only thing the briefing scenes were missing was Burrell slamming everyone for failing to pawn the case off on someone else or for failing to reclassify it as not-a-murder.

    Out of curiosity have you seen the HD remasters of The Wire? I know they framed everything for 4:3 and was curious how the transition outward looked.

  • Malevolence

    It isn’t silly, robots were mechanical last time I checked, but if you wish to be anal about the definition go right ahead. The point is completely ignored at this point so who gives a fuck? lol

  • Malevolence

    Noir, a genre of crime film or fiction characterized by cynicism, fatalism, and moral ambiguity.

    80’s had fears of world ending by human means such as lack of resources “Mad Max” Crime “Escape From NY” nuclear/technology “Terminator”

    So to break it down, 80s style post apocalyptic cyncism… but whatever, be grammar nazis about it, I don’t give a fuck anymore

  • Malevolence

    Always wondered why the Terminator cared about his hair in this scene and even shrugged when it didn’t look just right….

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmKynWXqxTw&t=2m35s

  • Domo

    As Mike says, it’s depthful, or something.

  • Malevolence

    Hercules in New York had more depth

  • Sully

    I am, too. That being said, I could give a shit about a Boba Fett Anthology movie. Last I heard Disney hadn’t officially announced a standalone file yet, and I hope they don’t. Boba couldn’t hold up his own film unless they approached it like the Dredd/i> movie, which I don’t see them doing, and contrary to what we know about his character via the prequels, unmasking him would be stupid at this point.

  • tOmy`

    I guess that’s the same as him wanting clothes… sort of a. You know, keeping the appearances right and so on.

    Also, I am quite sure that if he successfully finished his mission, Skynet would leave him in past. So, you know, how do you kill time when you are… well, immortal? You get some ladies, that’s right. Or boys. And for that, my man, you need to make your hair look like you just woken up.

  • RLMkeepitup

    Meh, his hair and nails shouldn’t have even come through : Nothing dead will go.

  • tOmy`

    Absolutely agree. Boba Fett is just the coolest (or one of the coolest) things in Star Wars; just because he is, pure and simple, embodiment of the cool bounty hunter.

    – Jetpack
    – Scratched armor
    – Badass helmet
    – Cool gun
    – Even his ship is called fucking Slave

    I mean come on! 1000 Republic credits say he is banging some Star Wars Universe version of Emma Stone. Possibly while killing people.

  • Malevolence

    Maybe no solid synthetic materials can go, only organics and liquids… think Kyle Reese was just a grunt who didn’t know anything besides he had to be naked…. John Connor may have just been a giant pervert and skynet may have been created by perverts

  • Malevolence

    Eh… also possible Skynet could have just kept sending Terminator after Terminator till they stockpiled like a hundred of them in the past before having them go after John Connor… but meh… Or even had the terminator build other Terminators before attempting to kill John Connor

  • omitted

    I just watched Frozen with a buddy and contrary to what the conservative right keeps touting it didn’t turn him gay. Hmph.

  • RLMkeepitup

    I love the line in the fake genisys trailer: “we were going to send you back in clothes. But the technology just isn’t there yet.” First thing you’re gonna wanna do is find clothes, I know you can do it, because you already did it.

  • Malevolence

    Haven’t scene the film yet, but that sounds great

  • tOmy`

    Did he marry a turtle, tho?

    BECAUSE THAT’S WHERE THIS IS GONNA LEAD TO! WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!

  • Malevolence

    ….Listening to Liberal Facts again are ye….?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    That’s been my reaction everytime I see a Marvel moopie…Who defuck is that, exactly?

  • Malevolence

    Did you also hear they eat babies?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    That’s exactly what makes it NOT robotic. Robots are autonomous. That means they work independent of human use. That’s the whole point. Furiosa clearly is responsible for the functioning of her mechanical arm. It is a tool, not a robot.

    Now, before Like Icare pops in and tells me robots are also tools, of sorts, I’ll just say, “Semantics. Schemantics.”

  • Must have been a faulty copy?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Obviously, you weren’t clad in a speedo.

  • Palpatine

    The Heyeayeayeayeayea He Man song will do the trick.

  • Domo

    I thought all copies of Frozen were faulty.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Give it a day or two. That song earworms its way right to whatever part of the brain is responsible for fabulous. Once he begins whistling it, you might as paint him with sequins, because he’s a goner.

  • tOmy`

    *boner

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Both.

  • Gavin Callaghan

    A good (bad) Cameron Mitchell film for you guys to watch- The Demon. A weird Halloween rip-off from South Africa that makes no sense. Cameron Mitchell shows up as a psychic detective, whose dialogue makes no sense. He then vanishes halfway into the movie.

  • tOmy`

    Linguistic question:

    Skullfucking. Does it mean fucking someone with a skull or fucking his skull? And if it is indeed fucking his skull, how… where… uhm.

    I am too scared to Google this, but it has been puzzling me for quite some time. Please, post a comment on this webzone and let’s talk about skullfucking.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Never mind the sandwich.

    #LOWBLOW

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Sure. But you make sure we get Rush. You fyucking Candadians!

  • Domo

    Eye socket. Get imaginative.

  • Hank_Henshaw

    Someone on Reddit made this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zr9VWU5pkcw

    It’s pure instance. I find it a definite improvement over the original audio.

  • Palpatine

    What would you guys say is the greatest song ever? I said earlier that Nights in White Satin by the Moody Blues is the greatest song ever. But that’s just me.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    It’s not like it’s the fucking jungle.

  • tOmy`

    I am glad you are back.

    And speaking of: “Skullfucking. Get imaginative.” sounds like one hell of a great tagline. I am just not sure for what exactly.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    My choice changes every time you ask me.

    This time it’s “Layla.” The Derek & The Dominoes version, not that horrid waltzy, shuffle, unplugged wank.

    An hour ago, though, it was “While My Guitar Gently Weeps.”

    I’m getting ready to pop a Ramones CD in the player. Ask me again in an hour.

  • tOmy`

    I am gonna take down my hipster glasses and just be Mr. Obvious:

    A tie between: Led Zeppelin’s Stairway To Heaven and Bob Dylan’s Like A Rolling Stone.

    I don’t have a personal favorite (and if I had, these two wouldn’t be it) but I guess Radiohead’s Jigsaw Falling Into Place (a surprisingly normal song) is the most played song in my library since 2009. By a massive margin.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR2HPSjcJ7I

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    The other night when you were wasted, you said it was some crap by Eminem.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, that Sing For The Moment is one of the best songs ever. I stand by it. But I think it is quite obvious that it pales in comparison to the two mentioned (I believe those are also one of the most common answers).

  • DarkFluffy

    Since Skynet is Marla Singer from Fight Club everything is possible… man I miss the 90s where a faceless mass murdering ai could be just a mass murdering faceless ai. Sending out its armies of steel to terminate EVERYTHING! But now its Marla. I guess that supposed to be cool, too.

  • Then a Hellbeast Ate Them

    Why not just admit that “noir” was the wrong word, instead of complaining about grammar nazis? It’s not big deal, right?

  • Then a Hellbeast Ate Them

    I know this shows my age, but I still think this is the greatest song ever:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87nkJquHnAU

  • Domo

    I prefer KMFDM’s Waste, but mainly because I don’t have to turn it up very loud to drown out the music in the car next to me. It’s a multi-functional song that feeds into my misanthropic tendencies while driving.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Seeing The Rolling Stones on Saturday. I’m gonna get real close to the stage and request something off the new album.

    #ZombiesAreReal

  • omitted

    *pick-up line

  • omitted

    Good, good.

  • omitted

    I keep returning to this and not just because I just watched a movie with the same title.

    https://youtu.be/MDM0yAJjlBo

  • omitted

    *Tombstones

  • tOmy`

    I will (somewhat disturbingly) admit that I really like that song, but (even more disturbingly) hers American Life is my favorite song by her.

    There is something about the production of it… that’s just cutesy edgy.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Oh, I hope not. I’d be cool if Keef Richards outlived me.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Upvotes for everybody, regardless. I vow not to denigrate anyone’s choice.

  • omitted

    *desecrate

  • Silvia_DRice

    @ESW6

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    {║████║░░║████║████║░░║████║████║░░║████║}

  • Bubs

    I think this is a loaded question. Sorta like asking if steak is better than lobster. But, still, If we’re talking about greatest song of ALL TIME, since the beginning of humanity and in recorded history, I would go with Vivaldi’s Four Seasons Summer.

  • tOmy`

    That’s one phat track, dewd.

  • omitted

    So how are the lyrics in that song of yours, eh?

  • omitted

    I like the way Hung Up samples Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight).

  • tOmy`

    I always think that the question should be: What is your most favorite song? The “greatest song” discussion is here for gazillion of ages and despite many people opinions, it is not about their personal opinion. So in the end, noone really knows. (That’s how we get to that Dylan / Zeppelin tie).

    But (when putting aside jazz and classical music) the common consensus is that it should, most likely, be a rock song. Funnily enough, most of the “greatest songs picks” are not on the “best albums” of said group; despite that “best albums” category is pretty much “clear” and quite often goes undisputed.

  • Domo

    *Raisins.

  • Domo

    Oooh. You up-voted your own commenttttttt.

    You’re going down.

  • tOmy`

    Is this the last desperate attempt of Taco Bell to persuade someone to work for them?

  • Malevolence

    As Liberal as America has become lately, Collins would have been fired in the states for his racial comments, which is sad lol

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    But only if you ask Rock fans. I would hope that someone with a passion for country music would be able to argue passionately for something about a dog, his cheatin’ wife, and a tractor.

    OK. That was kinda snide. But, sure, there have got to be country and western songs that qualify as someone’s “greatest.”

    I think we judge songs and albums differently, but I think you’re right with your theory on that score.

  • goodpenisbadpenis

    Angel of Death by Slayer of course. Thats not even a question.

  • Bubs

    I ain’t a chef, but I’m about to serve you.
    http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/song?s=t
    song:

    4. the art of singing;vocal music

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uxs5O6hMBvg

    I couldn’t find Summer, but here’s Spring. In case you missed it, they’re using their vocal chords. So, while lyrics are common, they’re not required for an instrumental to be considered a song as well.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    They’re gonna start serving alcohol.

    #DoNOTSwerveTacoBell

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    America, Liberal. Bwah-ha-ha-ha!!!!

    #Nonsense

  • Domo

    I personally like some country music, my favorite song being The Civil Wars’ Barton Hollow. I just have to dig a little more with some styles over others.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFlRxMJPM_0

  • tOmy`

    I discovered this song thanks to Justified and HOLY SHIT. WHAT A SONG.

    Thousand implied upvotes.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I dug The Civil Wars, but I’m not feeling her on her own. Is that considered country? Cool.

  • Bubs

    Southern Rock is one dropped-D tuning away from being country. So I think anyone could make the argument for a number of Lynyrd Skynyrd or CCR songs.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    There you go. But, I was thinking even authentic country. Like Hank or Waylon or Merle. “Kern River” is an excellent song, for example.

  • tOmy`

    I think it’s blue-grass actually. Or alt-country or something like that.

    EDIT: Well, they ain’t from Kentucky, so I am not sure if they can have that “blue-grass” title.

  • tOmy`

    Yea, you have a point there. A great example is that Yesterday is creeping to the “greatest songs” discussion quite often and… all opinions aside, it ain’t exactly masterpiece (even by Beatles standards.) About half of their discography would probably blow that song out of a water by any craft standards.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    My favorite is “The One That Got Away,” but I consider that rock in the same vein as Fleetwood Mac.

  • Domo

    The whole album is pretty good. Birds of a Feather is one to check out if you get a chance.

  • tOmy`

    Will do!

  • omitted

    Cum back when you do find your original choice sung by a person. Even that doesn’t change the fact that the original concertos are instrumental.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    What was that foreign movie from a couple of years ago about the husband and wife with the country band? That was some good modern bluegrass-rock. (I apologize for my faulty memory.)

  • Domo

    I only love the chorus of this song because of it’s play on Vivaldi’s Winter, but man is it fun to jam to, if only for 15 seconds.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfQ8eBa3XtA&feature=youtu.be&t=59s

  • tOmy`

    I am gonna have to drop this phat track:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdtLuyWuPDs

    By our very own, about our very own country.

  • Tomas Weissbeck

    At 29:14 Rich Evans had a delicious indignant Italian director moment. He’s the best.

  • Domo

    No Dvorak? He’s homegrown and everything!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z06_vZzying

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    “They just walk around? What kinda script is this?”

  • Bubs

    Faulty logic is faulty.

  • tOmy`

    I have no problem with almost any classical music. The skill behind writing such pieces is just… absurd. But I guess the only thing I keep coming back to is Chopin’s Nocturnes.

  • omitted

    So nice of you to admit that!

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    @disqus_qSI8fsAl8h:disqus OK, I’ve steeled myself for HARD TO BE A GOD. It’s three hours long, so we’ll talk about it tomorrow or later.

  • Malevolence

    Nothing to admit, feel I used the word appropriately for what I’m describing and I care enough to call you out for being a cunt

  • tOmy`

    I took a break first hour in. I will most likely finish it tomorrow as well.

  • Malevolence

    No need to be so anal about robot cock

  • Bubs

    Are you on your period or something?

  • Then a Hellbeast Ate Them

    You’re a bit sensitive, aren’t you?

  • Wanda R. Smith
  • RLMkeepitup

    that may be more than a linguistic curiosity you have there

  • RLMkeepitup

    You’re on the wrong webzone (an intelligent user base). Try again.

  • Domo

    I think the spammers asked if they could post here, and he replied “Yes. This.”

  • Tomas Weissbeck

    About the whole Colin (that’s the Canadian guy’s name, right?) being a racist: I have to say that, coming from Argentina, where racism as it’s understood in the US isn’t deeply embedded in our political history (unlike in America, where it is one of the staple topics of your political discussion), I understand how he’d say something which in the USA would seem racist when perhaps in Canada it’s just kind of in bad taste, insensitive or shitty of him. Here for example the term “negro” (the N word for you, if you will) doesn’t mean of African descent or even dark-skinned (usually because of mixed Indian heritage), but it is used to discriminate against someone who exhibits working-class traits. I remember many well-to-do kids in my school who used to call others “negros” when they themselves had dark skin, but for them it wasn’t contradictory because unlike those they were bullying, they came from well-to-do, “respectable” families.

    I think there’s still a problem with racism in America because you never got over the very conception of race created by racism — namely, that race is a reality of nature when it is actually a social construct –, and that’s why in an attempt not to be racist you became stifled with a paranoid political correctness which didn’t cure the root problem but simply caused everyone except the bigots to shut up. In the words of Steve Buscemi’s character in my beloved Ghost World “People still hate each other, it’s just they just know how to hide it better”.

    In countries like mine (and Canada appears to be similar in this respect) racism manifests itself much more for what it is: people hating each other for a number of reasons, most of them related to their socio-economic position, and using the way people look (“race”) as an excuse for their hatred.

  • Balthazar Sleazebaggano

    Go to your local pawnshop, if they sell movies it is guaranteed they will have copious amounts of The Matrix Reloaded, Gattica, and Ishtar VHS tapes practically for free that you need to send to RLM.

    We must concentrate all copies of Ishtar in a single location, at the RLM studio/warehouse/thing!!!

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    My sister’s father’s brother’s accountant’s sex slave’s labrador earned $2.25 in 12 months working from your mother’s hot box.

  • Domo

    I think it was just a joke, where the point was the Canadian said something that actually offended the Americans, and not much more than that.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    That or Baker Street.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    I like Old Dog Tray.

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Argentinians wouldn’t understand anything about racism. They were to busy harboring Nazi war criminals to care! 😉

  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    It was indeed just a joke.

  • I went on to V-World to experience Dino World. To spice things up, the trip was fantasy themed. I pitted my adventurers who happened to have a trained raptor (Jurassic World Style) against a MEGARAPTOR. It turned out my 4 foot dwarven warrior could knock down a 12ft beast with ease. Video game dinosaurs are made of cardboard just like their movie counterparts, therefore they suck.
    http://i.imgur.com/i1ahMvs.jpg

  • Andrew Thompson.

    there is only one way to make that much money. armed robbery! Email me your credit card number to #NigerianPrince@RussianscamAcademey.com.ru
    and for just $250 you get your own gun, balaclava and instructional DVD.
    hurry stocks are limited.

  • Can I has #3333### PENIS ENLARGMENT PILLS #%*^*(@ Too?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    hey could run for prime minister here. no one would even notice.

  • Queef? Wait… you said new album?

  • Andrew Thompson.

    its what it says on the box. whoring through a webcam.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    Ode to Joy.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    eye sockets.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    he needed to let it go.

  • Tomas Weissbeck

    I do realise the RLM guys are too clever not to be sarcastically PC, but I still think much of America’s problems as a culture with racism stem from how you try to deal with it: repressing it, trying to conceal it as an ugly part of your societ, esentially making it more marginal and thus a dangerous part of it.

    You can see it in this even BotW episode: when a joke was made about Cameron Mitchell’s alcoholism, everyone laughed but later just felt kind of guilty in a tongue-in-cheek way; when Colin mentioned a racist stereotype against Asians no one felt they could laugh. A lot like Germans don’t really discuss the Holocaust and its implications, they just apologise profusely and pass laws making any expression of anti-Semitism a felony, basically hoping criminalising something will make it all go away (narcotics, everyone?).

  • Domo

    But that’s the joke. The joke is it’s uncomfortable to talk about certain things in conversation, and the way it’s edited amplifies the joke. I’m sure if I was on there and my mental illness was known, Rich would probably make some off-color joke about straight jackets, and everyone at the table would squirm. The point isn’t to highlight America’s ills. That’s not the point of RLM.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    its been a running joke that Colin says things that the Americans get offended by.

  • Mr_Wint

    Can you say that in Spanish five times real fast?

  • Mr_Wint

    Where have you been dude?

  • Palpatine

    Google pay me 69 dolla a second for working at home. You can also get pay big money to afford many beautiful women and lifetime supply of Pabst Blue Ribbon and Chunkys Fried Chicken just like me. Go to my webzone at http://www.thisisnotascamyoufuckingdumbass.com right now!

  • Mr_Wint

    They’re not really that clever. Being drunk dorks isn’t really ‘clever’. More sad really.

  • Mr_Wint

    You are old, aren’t you palpy?

  • Mr_Wint

    Baker Street? The Gerry Raferty soft core porn song?

  • Cynical Optimist

    You had me at “69.”

  • DanceOfBirther

    Looking back, I really should have digitized my namesake and sold copies for massive dolla. Melissa wouldn’t have noticed because she’s brain dead.

  • fred
  • DanceOfBirther

    I think he’s more related to the naked mole-rat.
    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naked_mole-rat

  • Sully

    So, I finally got around to watching Tomorrowland. I was going to post a review on here, but I’ve honestly forgotten 80% of the movie already, which I suppose is a review in and of itself. Underwhelming, you could call it. Oh well… I still have Terminator: Franchise Genocide to look forward to, don’t I?

    DON’T I ???

  • DanceOfBirther

    He’s currently beating Pat Robertson, for me. Fun Fact: Pat Robertson also ran for president.

  • Wyldstaar

    Even the destruction of Lost in Dinosaur World was dull. How sad..

  • ashwilliams

    The sequel to Low Blow…Blood Street…dubbed in russian xD

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9k43WxJhf60

    And he’s doing the third entry of the saga???

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1503119/reference

  • Palpatine

    I love how the extra behind Hopper just cracks up laughing.

  • Palpatine

    Wow, and I thought tOmy’s off topic posts were tl;dr.

  • Palpatine

    It should’ve been fed to the mosasaurs.

  • Malevolence

    When Rich says “You sicken me” must be pretty bad… or he’s simply unimpressed

  • Palpatine

    And Rich is usually easy to impress.

  • Malevolence

    You have to be REEEEALLY offensive to impress Rich, or he’ll be like…. “I’ll show you how it’s done sonny”

  • Malevolence

    When Collins described Canada as the “The Great White North”, he wasn’t talking about the climate, he was talking about preference

  • Jawski and Hooch

    yeah and when he showed off his swastika tattoo i knew that would get people talkin

  • Malevolence

    That wasn’t a tattoo. He Carved it in himself from a Shiv fashioned from the bones of his Mexican victims

  • Palpatine

    So I guess jokes about 9/11, the Holocaust, the Great Leap Forward and Mao’s Cultural Revolution, the genocides committed by Stalin, and the sinking of the Titanic are what make him laugh? Oh Rich Evans.

  • Palpatine

    Colin is buddies with Kim Jong Un.

  • Palpatine

    Wish I could move there, I mean great weather we’re having.

  • Jawski and Hooch

    ya know palpy youre really coming across as an antidinotite

  • Malevolence

    Rich doesn’t bother with such trivial obscenities…. he thinks Mein Kampf is a dramatic comedy and Revelation is not that bad of an idea

  • Malevolence

    Mike is actually Collin and Rich’s puppet…. after his trademark laugh got popular he led a coup…. he said something about needing breathing room and that this was his first step towards glory…. don’t really know what that all means though…

  • WrongWithYourFace
  • Jawski and Hooch

    so what youre basically saying is mike was the gimp in pulp fiction

  • WrongWithYourFace

    And so they did. Who was that?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Paranoid!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I apologize on the behalf of my fellow countryman. In Finnish a song would indeed be in most cases considered something of the lyrical nature. There’s a different word that can be used for instrumental or general purposes.

  • You guys need to re-edit Lady Terminator and try to make a coherent movie.

  • Jawski and Hooch

    *gays

  • Malevolence

    That’s exactly what I’m saying, Rich has Jesse in a slave girl outfit every weekend too

  • Jawski and Hooch

    both

  • Jawski and Hooch
  • The Wicker Man (BWF)

    Grew to love it from hearing it played on Coast to Coast AM back in the day.

  • Malevolence

    At one time in my life I thought the Spice Girls were good…. but I come to realize, seeing as I was in elementary school at the time I mistook “good” for “hot variety of attractive ladies…”

  • Jawski and Hooch

    boobs

  • sleepy_editor

    Do film directors get better with age?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgnHq_E3rN8

  • LoveSW_Prequels

    it’s too bad Low Blow was decent, coulda had a nice “this movie was a low blow” joke there.
    & that beat that starts around 0:50 is amazing

  • Jawski and Hooch

    so let me get this straight, you’re offering everybody here a blow job?

  • LoveSW_Prequels

    im offering everyone a free copy of the star wars prequels

  • Jawski and Hooch

    rather the blow job really

  • Malevolence

    Those old shitty movies better thank RLM for their jump in sales…. who would pay 13.99 for Skull Forest or 15.71 for Killing American Style? 😛

  • It’s nice to see Colin and Rich taking time out of their busy schedules to film a Best of the Worst episode and GO FINISH MAKING SPACE COP YOU LAZY HACKS.

  • Bubs

    For you folks who love gifs, I made a gif of something that you should see. It’s a big one, so give it time to load. Then gaze longingly into Mike’s reflection. I’m not sure why I found his reflection so hilarious, but I did. So I giffed it.

    http://gifmaker.cc/PlayGIFAnimation.php?folder=2015070214iNcxbwOzuowEWDtUZv1cGQ&file=output_dkIRtl.gif

  • omitted

    I came here to continue my bitter fight lovely intercourse with Bubs, but it would seem the entire conversation is gone. Wtf?!

  • omitted

    Strike my last. Just Disqus being Disqus.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    no.

  • Andrew Thompson.

    tough day. i’m so dirty even Omitted wouldnt lick me.

  • Jawski and Hooch

    thats really just part of life when youre a call girl i guess, those high heels must just be killer for your feet

  • omitted

    Sounds like a challenge…

  • Domo

    The spammer itself up-voted their own comment!

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i wouldn’t if i was you. let me have a shower first

  • Andrew Thompson.

    i wear army boots. they give you more traction on satin sheets… or greasy alley way pavement.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    Nice video essay, mate. Besides George Miller, I’d argue Martin Scorsese is another aging director who’s still in the business of making good movies.

  • omitted

    Only if I may join you there…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    sure, its only going to take 30 hours and a few thousand dollars. I’ll go wait in the bathroom for you.

  • omitted

    Way to ruin a perfectly good fantasy…

  • Andrew Thompson.

    its not my fault! i blame andrew.

  • tOmy`

    I am a passionate cheerleader.

  • tOmy`

    Does anyone else find it disturbing that after saying “I may have gone too far in a few places” about Phantom Menace, Lucas still made Clones?

  • tOmy`

    And I thought my off-topic posts were… off-topic.

  • Sign me up! Hold the dollas. All I need is Chunky’s and Pabst.

  • Then a Hellbeast Ate Them

    Maybe he meant “I may have gone too far in making this like an actual movie”.

  • tOmy`

    “Look at that shit! I have so many computers here and I forgot to use them!”

  • Andrew Thompson.

    me and bubs dont always fight but when we do we make it bitter.

  • Domo

    I think George Lucas was really saying “But I didn’t go far enough in other places, so that makes it okay!”

  • tOmy`

    “I know what this needs. A proper love story. Somebody bring me a picture of a waterfall!”

  • omitted
  • tOmy`

    @dscw: So I finally heard the new single from upcoming Chem Bros album. Glad they are back. Or, as someone else eloquently put it in his youtube review of Block Rockin’ Beats:

    “Sounds just like my garbage disposer. This is NOT music at all. It’s flippin’ NOISE!
    Pissed me off when (in 1997) hard rock/active rock stations played this crap alongside the likes of STP, Metallica, Korn, Ozzy, Pantera, White Zombie, and Megadeth. This is NOT hard rock. It’s not rock…period! Rock stations have absolutely NO business playing this “song”.

    And the bassline was blatantly ripped off from “More Human Than Human” by White Zombie.”

  • Like Icare

    Haven’t we established so far that Lucas’ reasoning is detached from reality? In a few places.

  • Like Icare

    If you tie enough of them together you get a natural magnetron.

  • omitted

    *kiss it better

  • dollar store cashier wife

    always rely on youtube commenters to bring insight about any topic.

  • Then a Hellbeast Ate Them

    I live my life according to their teachings. It’s been great.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    That’s gonna be great.

  • tOmy`

    Do you think this guy eventually realized that calling something “a garbage disposer” does sound a bit ironic since he’s into trash metal?

  • tOmy`

    Is that a Pokemon or Transformer?

  • tOmy`

    It’s like yoga, but for your brain.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    A Len Kabasinki movie.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Rich’s hand would look wonderful between that DVD case and the iron. https://33.media.tumblr.com/e429e0411d35ca3549ceb9f11a1dee26/tumblr_mwnkvtCvYK1rw7pupo1_400.gif

  • Jawski and Hooch

    that story was redacted, apparently somebody was standing to close to the microphone and just farted

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    I didn’t read the article, but the answer is aliens.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    That’s the joke, see?

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    You’re not listening to the music.

  • Domo

    “It’s a-tarded.”

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Yeah, Disqus seems to be all over the place, these days.

  • Kaingerc

    Bob Loblaw finally made a movie?!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwWAsNZTnug

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    It’s not like it’s the fucking jungle.

    #NeverMindTheSandwich

  • Jawski and Hooch

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBojbjoMttI … you got it wrong, it’s never mind the bollocks

  • dollar store cashier wife

    Always upvote AD references.

  • Jawski and Hooch
  • TapewormBike

    So….fucking hot. Video’s fun though.

  • tOmy`

    I think it is our responsibility to stop this wave of self-educated, smart-ass little girls in movies. The time is now, people! Close the kindergartens! Burn the witches! Fuck the litt- oh. Okay, that slogan is pending approval.

  • tOmy`

    I waited till 7pm to go to a shop yesterday. I still looked like a melting snowman.

  • TapewormBike

    I am putting my gf on a train. I don’t wanna! Because of the weather, I mean.

  • omitted

    *pushing under

  • TapewormBike

    By the authorities

  • omitted

    It’s only eighteen degrees Celsius here and I’m already down to my underwear. How that differs from the norm, don’t ask me…

  • TapewormBike

    Don’t tempt me, you..temptress..er.

  • omitted
  • omitted

    So you leaked white stuff all over?

  • omitted

    Since Pa’s not gonna, I’ll allow it.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    “Lucas made clones”

    Please tell me it’s not true.

  • Sully

    Part time.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You lucky bastard. 27 here. I’m trying to read a book but my hands keep sweating, making it extremely uncomfortable. I’m not down to undies yet, though. Just very loose shorts that would make a very poor job of hiding a boner. And with these sweaty hands I couldn’t even do anything about said boner.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Snowmen don’t leak white. But don’t worry, leaking clear is normal too.

  • Jawski and Hooch

    you’ve been reading Playgirl again haven’t you

  • WrongWithYourFace

    My favorite superheroin.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Having seen Entertainment Weakly‘s ComicCon preview issue, I think I can officially predict…Jesse Eisenberg as Kurt Cobain as Lex Luthor will break the internet.

  • Jawski and Hooch

    what’s an internet?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    All of the webzones connected by tubes, run on gas.

  • TheseMenAreFrauds

    It’s not a big truck.

  • tOmy`

    So that’s why youtube smells like farts!

  • tOmy`

    Fucking Christ, even I think this was shark week.

  • tOmy`

    Holy fucking shit, I just accidentally found out we have Kraftwerk’s Computer World LP in a mint condition.

  • Jawski and Hooch

    I miss LP’s 🙁 …used to love the art work and the sound I think is better

  • tOmy`

    Well, you can still buy them. A lot of current stuff comes out on LPs; both because gramophones are back on their rise and because of the DJ scene.

  • I can take good care of it…

    Boss Nass
    Otoh Gunga
    Naboo
    Galaxy far far away

  • It’s a service provided by Internet Service Providers. Its also a sandwitch composed by witches and sand.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    As a sort of perversion of Palpy’s great thread suggestion of yesterday, I present…

    Pa’s Latest Song That Sucks™

    That Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness sh!t. When will this “oh-ee-oh” trend be staked through the chest?

  • ♫ Wir fahr’n fahr’n fahr’n auf der Autobahn ♫

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    How many stamps? I only got half a roll.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    That is, if you are willing to invest in a proper record player. Not that I know much of the prices, but I’m willing to bet most of them aren’t that cheap.

  • I don’t know… you ruined my joke…

    *cocks gun*

    #WhyLisa

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I did? How?

    #AllApologies

  • You cyberbully!

  • ###*#*#*&#$& That is WRIGHT, Jay#$#$$. You can buy them at your Mexican doctor/Namibian president #$$%^#^#. Like mine, only an 5 dollars per minute$*$&%&&^T43 . It’s not on vinyl though, mostly mp3s/flacs. We also have CDs. #3##$^$*^Y*&%^#&$T%#

  • Jawski and Hooch

    it’s only been around since like the Wizard of Oz

  • Don’t get all negative, now.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    What do you think they’re listening to at RLM headquarters when they’re, you know, editing SPACE COP and stuff?

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Hey, never mind the sand, witch!

  • Jawski and Hooch
  • Or when they get Patreon donations. I wonder which earns more, their Patreon or their Twitch channel. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIAXG_QcQNU

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Is Google the best job you ever had? Working from home and all?

  • Percy Gryce

    Rich Evans : Mike Stoklasa :: Klaus Kinski : Werner Herzog

  • Working from home is like unemployment. I hated translating at home. If I lived in a city, I’d go to a cafe or a library to do that. I’d be able to focus more.

  • Jawski and Hooch

    it’s not really the best pick-up line is it

  • tOmy`

    It’s not that bad. You can get good ones under a price of a fucking smartphone. Or you can just swap the needle on your old ones. There is a lot of possibilities to get them cheap.

  • tOmy`
  • According to my calculations the Patreon money turns into RLM boozepurchase in 1.75 seconds and 12.5 % is used for misc. projects such as Space Cop, BotW and HitB.

  • tOmy`

    Now I feel bad about myself. Thanks.

  • She can’t get AIDS cus shes a les…witch

    Ohohohoooooo!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Are you too a transla-tor?

    I agree, though. Working from home isn’t good for you. Unless you’re an artist or something, and your job is basically the same as your hobby. But at least you get to decide where you want to work.

  • Super-heroin is used to drug elephants.

    The More You Know ♒★

  • tOmy`

    This is the first time I saw this clip. Holy shit, I didn’t know the pretentious douchebaggery is this much off the charts.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I’m not gonna listen to that.

  • dollar store cashier wife
  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    I’d give a nut to be able to work from home.

  • I used to do some freelance on the side but I quit (yeah, right, they didn’t want to see my face any more). I was busy with teaching kids as a private tutor – paid much better and required a third of the effort. Now, I’m actually unemployed at the moment. I’m back at uni, getting a second MA. I’m doing a great job at preparing for my last exam this year by sitting here commenting on my failures in life, yessiree.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    It’s not like it’s the fucking jungle.

  • While I acknowledge I’m one of the lucky few, it’s really hard to get the job done unless you’re really disciplined which I am not. #firstworldproblems #uppermiddleclassproblems

  • I second that sentiment.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    “I’m doing a great job at preparing for my last exam this year by sitting here commenting on my failures in life, yessiree.”

    I did that last year! Wooo! High five! Now I’m doing the same thing… minus the preparing for exam part… Yeah. Commenting…

  • tOmy`

    I miss Calif :<

    "Oh yea, I said it, I meant it, I am here to represent it!"

  • Palpatine

    Hmm, should I start working at with
    Google or should I get a real job? Oh, hold on, my phone’s ringing. Hello? Oh hai recently orphaned Nigerian prince, what do you want?

  • Jawski and Hooch

    I see you’re still working for that phone sex line palpy

  • What are you wearing, sugar?

  • Did they kill it off? I stopped somewhere around when Tim Minchin showed up.

  • Palpatine

    Some ladies love the sound of my evil sounding voice.

  • tOmy`
  • tOmy`

    It ended. Finally. It actually got even worse. The first 3 seasons with the depressive endings are my favs. They should have stopped right there.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You should start making ASMR videos like your apprentice: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uI-o6alySlM

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Before I click, you should answer this simple question (60% give the wrong answer!) : How long?

  • Yep. Pretty much this, I liked him when he was miserable. “Mistakes were made, hearts were broken, harsh lessons learned… My family goes on without me, while I drawn in a sea of pointless pussy.

  • tOmy`

    00:47.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    “Allo. This is the Prince of Nigeria. What are you wearing?”

    END SCENE

  • omitted

    Hey, just this week I got accepted into my fourth academic degree. Well, it’s only a polytechnic this time. Here’s to commenting here instead of finishing that one either…

  • tOmy`

    The biggest problem was that the show became a parody of itself. It started as a non-usual rom-com with a very dark twist on it. It ended with fart jokes. Like… honestly. Fart jokes. The last season had one good episode and just because it revolved around Beca, Hank and writing. Rest was painful and embarrassing. The edge was simply gone. And I think it started right around 4th season. Given the ending of the 3rd one, the quick, quirky-funny continuation of the dark story was just… sigh.

  • Palpatine

    Greetings from Nigeria, I am Prince Givame Yomoneynow, and I am offering you the chance of a lifetime. You see, my father, King Scamma, recently died and left me his inheritance. The only problem is that I need someone to share it with. If you want, I can give you some of my wealth. All you have to do is go to my website at http://www.royalhouseofscamma.com to find out more.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Sorry, I was really supposed to ask: How many triangles do you see? http://www.castleviewuk.com/images/How-many-Triangles.jpg

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    (I swear I didn’t see this before I posted below.)

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Ah, I see: You’re viewing the comments from old to newest. I was slightly confused by your previous comment, where you also referred to a newer comment being “below”.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    That’s what comes of hanging with Gwinnie, Jazzy, and Bouncý.

    Wait until the douchebag starts making solo records!

  • tOmy`

    It’s gonna be great.

  • omitted

    Pa and I had a very lengthy dickussion about this once…

  • SYNERGY

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    On a ten minute delay.

    Even synergy slows down as it gets older.

  • That’s a weird spelling of intercourse.

  • omitted

    So being all hot and bothered is making you Southerners comment like you’re in heat?!

  • Yes, please.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Nuh-uh! I’m sorted by Newest.

    Disqus is relative to your own monitor.

    We’re at the mercy of technology, people!

    #Technology

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Duh. That’s what “being in heat” is. Well, that and the spotting.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    iThankee.

    Oh. I thought you typed “Pa has a lengthy dick.”

    #AllApologies

  • WrongWithYourFace

    So your monitor is upside down?

  • omitted

    Practice at the gallery!

  • I agree that it felt really forced past that point. The show always revolved around sex and fart jokes but… eh, at least they were trying to tell something…? After season 3 it all became a big satire on Hollywood and honestly, I’m not sure if it was good satire.

  • Jawski and Hooch

    All I see is a square

    #https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9K0B8axdvU

  • Jawski and Hooch

    It really is turning into some kind of orgy round here

  • Percy Gryce

    “Rich, how do you know the word ‘kegel’?”

  • omitted

    So my dreams are finally cuming true. What are you wearing?

  • omitted

    I gave him some pointers.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Because Jessi told them all about it in the WotW episode with Where Did I Come From? Or was it that episode? I forget.

  • tOmy`

    I think people had hard time seeing past all that drugs, sex, rock’n’roll stuff and noticing that it is, in the end, a very cynical and dark-ish story about dysfunctional people. That’s why I loved the ending of the 3rd season – afteral, for the story to have a logic arc, it needed to end badly. The choice of the final argument being drowned out by the music was superb; because we knew what is being said and I guess realized that there is no happy ending to this fairy tale.

    I liked when the show had that “meta” moment when Eddie (the actor supposed to be playing Hank in the adaptation) said: “Now I see. It’s about a man who is trying to keep his family together while falling apart.” I am not saying it’s some super-smart stuff, but I felt that people often missed the very dark vibe and got carried away by puking on an expensive painting right after doggy-style-goes-wrong sequence.

  • Jawski and Hooch

    Ambiguous? I thought it just meant homosex

  • Intercourse [in-ter-kawrs, -kohrs] noun

    1. dealings or communication between individuals, groups, countries, etc.

    2. interchange of thoughts, feelings, etc.

    3. sexual relations or a sexual coupling, especially coitus.

  • Yes. This.

    I’m sorry, but I just can’t add anything more to this post.

  • Jawski and Hooch

    Don’t you just love how ambiguous the word coitus is

  • tOmy`

    “Especially coitus?”

  • *shrugs*

  • omitted

    Except your dick.

  • Palpatine

    Rich does kegel exercises while screaming “Owwwww, my back!!!”.

  • Jawski and Hooch

    That should be the opening scene to Space Cop

  • There’s nothing about that sentence I don’t love.

  • Palpatine

    Nah, that should be the ending scene.

  • Jawski and Hooch

    True, end on a climax.

  • omitted

    *guy named Max (played by Tom Hardy)

  • Jawski and Hooch

    I bet you say that to all the boys.

  • omitted

    When will Tapey finish throwing escorting his gf under the bus onto the train so he can join our super-gay cumment orgy?!

  • I think men have those too. Either Mike has a cloaca or he’s looking forward to incontinence when he’s old.

  • omitted

    I… need…. a bit more details… please… almost…. there….

  • omitted

    Maybe the Frozen conversion magic will work on you…

    https://youtu.be/V-zXT5bIBM0

  • a few pokes*

  • A full set of teeth, I imagine.

  • None. All I see is a penis.

  • omitted

    *feel

  • tOmy`

    Great, so not only can spiders balloon 30kms by using their silk to catch wind, they can now apparently sail as well. You know, just like tiny little eight-legged boats.

    I think it is safe to assume that now is the time to nuke Australia.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I came.

  • omitted

    I blame Andrew.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Slowpokes.

  • omitted

    Killjoy!

  • WrongWithYourFace

    What’s wrong with you people? At least omitted is normal and feels a penis.

  • omitted

    *Low Blows

  • omitted

    “omitted is normal”
    That is the most hurtful thing anyone has ever said to me!

  • I’m surprised this joke hasn’t come up sooner.

  • omitted

    Don’t worry, I’ve got enough meat here for you all to nibble on…

  • omitted

    *cum

  • WrongWithYourFace

    *heardful

    I’m going for all six senses here.

  • Thank you.

  • omitted

    I see straight people!

  • Jawski and Hooch

    lol nice one

  • Time to get my poke on.
    Where’s my pokeyman machine?

  • Angelo

    Who needs the Chemical Brothers when you have Dance with the Dead to kick ass
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBvViQnjRk4

    Or Carpenter Brut
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQqGKPVOQv8

    Or Perturbator
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RY66fdMt4vc

    Fuck those old Brits!

  • tOmy`

    I feel like every conversation about Californication should be ended by someone shooting a ceiling with a shotgun.

  • omitted

    *hot cum

  • omitted
  • tOmy`

    Well, I know we don’t get to suggest books every often, but hey, I realized that this may be a perfect forum to promote a comic horror novel by David Wong called John Dies At The End. It is a combination of over-the-top C-grade horror written in A-grade manner. It is a great and funny summer read, given the fact that you can all handle a very dark, cynical and gruesome humor. David himself promoted the book by pasting the first few lines of the prologue, which pretty much paint the picture about the book in general. So there you go:

    * * Prologue * *
    Solving the following riddle will reveal the awful secret behind the universe, assuming
    you do not go utterly mad in the attempt. If you already happen to know the awful secret behind the universe, feel free to skip ahead.
    Let’s say you have an ax. Just a cheap one, from Home Depot. On one bitter winter
    day, you use said ax to behead a man. Don’t worry, the man was already dead. Or maybe you should worry, because you’re the one who shot him.
    He had been a big, twitchy guy with veiny skin stretched over swollen biceps, a tattoo
    of a swastika on his tongue. Teeth filed into razor-sharp fangs, you know the type. And you’re chopping off his head because, even with eight bullet holes in him, you’re pretty sure he’s about to spring back to his feet and eat the look of terror right off your face.
    On the follow-through of the last swing, though, the handle of the ax snaps in a spray
    of splinters. You now have a broken ax. So, after a long night of looking for a place to dump the man and his head, you take a trip into town with your ax. You go to the hardware store, explaining away the dark reddish stains on the broken handle as barbecue sauce. You walk out with a brand new handle for your ax.
    The repaired ax sits undisturbed in your garage until the next spring when, on one
    rainy morning, you find in your kitchen a creature that appears to be a foot-long slug with a bulging egg sac on its tail. Its jaws bite one of your forks in half with what seems like very little effort. You grab your trusty ax and chop the thing into several pieces. On the last blow, however, the ax strikes a metal leg of the overturned kitchen table and chips out a notch right in the middle of the blade.
    Of course, a chipped head means yet another trip to the hardware store. They sell you a brand new head for your ax. As soon as you get home with your newly-headed ax, though, you meet the reanimated body of the guy you beheaded last year. He’s also got a new head, stitched on with what looks like plastic weed trimmer line, and it’s wearing that unique expression of “you’re the man who killed me last winter” resentment that one so rarely encounters in everyday life.
    You brandish your ax. The guy takes a long look at the weapon with his squishy, rotting eyes and in a gargly voice he screams, “That’s the same ax that slayed me!”
    Is he right?

  • tOmy`

    It looks like something that would make your toaster dance.

  • omitted

    Whaddaya mean I spiked it?!

    <