Best of the Worst: Direct-to-Video Horror

April 1, 2014686 Comments

For our first Best of the Worst of April, the gang looks at three direct-to-video horror films, which collectively feature such A-list talent as Clint Howard, Casper Van Dien, and Coolio.

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Filed in: Best of the Worst

  • https://twitter.com/theericlarson Obscure Cactus

    is this an April Fool’s joke?

    • Charisma

      The joke is that they’re productive human beings.

    • Magnus

      You had to ruin it, didn’t you?

      • https://twitter.com/theericlarson Obscure Cactus

        I’m a child of divorce, give me a break

        • Magnus

          You can’t go through life making excuses for yourself like that. Your past does not define you. Unless you let it.

          • https://twitter.com/theericlarson Obscure Cactus

            After spilling paint in the garage my old man looked me dead straight in the eye and said “I’m divorcing your mother champ” Try living with that knowledge.

          • Magnus

            I’m not sure if I could.

          • Joe Syxpac

            I grew up terrified that my parents would get a divorce.

            Then they both died in a plane crash. Man, what a relief!

        • LelouchtheFilial

          WIZARD?! Is that you?

  • jezoc

    Rich Evans the ever-present setpiece of our nightdreams

  • diehounderdoggen

    “The doubling effect was the worst I’ve seen since the eeiighties?”
    -Jay, Jack and Jill review

    • Cameron Vale

      I never saw the Jay, Jack and Jill review.

  • Brandon Dwyer

    Skip to 15:32. Best joke ever. I laughed so hard I blacked out.

  • metalraygear

    :D

  • Robert Fitl

    I own Dracula 3000. It’s the one of the worst movies ever made.

  • tsjoot

    Forever will I look for Rich Evans in the shadows

    • Striker, Ted

      He resides in the dark shadows of your mind.

    • Jason

      Alfred Hitchcock is the poor man’s Rich Evans.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    rich evans at 2:53-method acting at it’s best.

    • Mads Bolding Fenger Poulsen

      Others merely adopted the dark… he was born in it.

  • NobodyLikesMilhouse

    I hate myself for loving RLM.

  • Wasperheimer

    Aw, I really looked forward to discussion about Ice Cream Man, I loved that movie.

    • Cameron Vale

      I wanted to learn about his mysterious frozen treat.

      • Percy Gryce

        At first, I thought you wrote “mysterious frozen meat.”

  • Dolfanar

    That was the worst thing since my son…

    • Pablo Martinez

      Are you Mike’s father?

      • Dolfanar

        Well, my cat ain’t gonna milk itself!

  • B.J.D

    Coolio … I always wondered what happened to him. Now we know.

  • Svas Tara

    yay! new stuff! :D

  • bob665

    One of the better jokes.

  • http://jestermacsspace.tumblr.com/ Jester Mac

    Is that rich evans jerking off in the back room?

    • Percy Gryce

      Some cultures say that that’s how the world is renewed–by the emission of Richevans’s seed.

  • Chris Korhonen

    Watching 24 minutes of black screen on RLM is still better than watching Man of Steel.

  • Maverique

    Background Rich Evans is the greatest, creepiest thing ever.

  • durhay

    That guy should get a phrenology map tattooed on his head.

  • Jayless

    Too soon it is it.

  • kjellmakrell

    See you in hell!

  • DeathoftheEndless7

    I thought you were actually going to review my copy of Dracula 3000!! You’re tearing me apart, Lisa! You betrayed me! You’re not good. You, you’re just a chicken. Chip-chip-chip-chip-cheep-cheep. As far as I’m concerned, you can drop off the earth. That’s a promise.

  • Memoman

    Oh thank god! The only thing worst than having HITB withdrawals for so long is having an episode that you cannot watch come out!

    I don’t want to spoil anything about Grand Budapest Hotel, and god knows when it’s getting around my neckbeard of the woods. In the meantime BoTW will keep the delirium tremens subdued.

    (This before watching. In case it’s some April fool’s, cruel, cruel joke.)

  • Ledechev

    I know people said Jay looks hot with a beard, but he really let himself go.

  • Jose

    Oh you sons of bitches. Best episode yet.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    They said that I could watch one more video before my death sentence.
    I said that all I wanted was to see the new Best of the Worst.



    God hates me.

    • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

      See you on the other side!!

  • Rei Grim

    Fucking hipsters! 20 minutes of black screen isn’t art! RLM ruined my childhood!

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      This is what we deserve after talking about Jovial Bob Stine for weeks on end.

  • Bravo Romeo

    Oh jesus. Oh god. Oh jesus. Oh god. WHAT’S HAPPENING. WHY IS THIS.

  • LukeMM95

    I couldn’t concentrate with Rich Evans in the background.

    • Jean-François Martel

      his presence is hypnotizing.

  • http://flesheatingbug.deviantart.com/ Som

    I love that bit at 22.56, epic! You guys should duo more often

  • Jean-François Martel

    to be fair, these days Straight to Video/VOD horror is often better than theatrical stuff. But these movies do seem kinda old so let’s see (what i said being a fairly recent phenomenon).

  • Jean-François Martel

    18:10 is where it’s at

  • Jean-François Martel

    for a moment i thought the bald dude had a twin or something, then i saw the other guy and it clicked.

  • http://solo4357.blogspot.com/ Solo4357

    Well done. Seeing Rich Evans in both shots was well worth being punked.

    • Percy Gryce

      “Punked”? Isn’t that prison slang for being raped by an inmate?

      I think you mean “Punk’d.” That means being raped by Ashton Kutcher.

      • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

        If I was gonna get raped, I’d rather it be by Kutcher than an inmate.

        You see, Kutcher can do better than me. Much, much better. So his heart really wouldn’t be in it. I can live with that. An inmate just wants to get his rocks off on his new bitch. That’s the most frightening thing in the world for me.

        Also, Kutcher is probably an amateur at raping people. His inexperience is my reward. He’d be afraid of doing some really terrifying things, whereas a seasoned pro would be inventing new ways to demean me and my virgin b-hole.

        Then there’s the attractiveness factor. At the end of the day, Kutcher is better looking than the overwhelming majority of guys in prison. If there’s a bonus, that’s about the only one that can be found.

        I know I missed your point. I just wanted to make my own.

      • http://solo4357.blogspot.com/ Solo4357

        I did get raped by an inmate while watching this video. These things happen.

  • marko112kg

    I HATE YOU MORE THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS POSSIBLE TO HATE!

  • ident

    April 1st, the most passive-aggressive day of the year.

    • LelouchtheFilial

      Yeah, I can see why people like you would feel that way…

      • ident

        It’s kind of you to compliment the extraordinary insight and handsomeness of people like me. People like you are generally too concerned with cryptic generalizations to even notice people like me.

        • LelouchtheFilial

          I was just sort of trying to build on the ‘passive-aggressive’ thing.
          Happy April Fools.

          • ident

            I see. Is April Fools over yet? I have become unmoored by too many levels of irony.

  • Jason

    I remember someone saying about the Grown Ups 2 review that they should’ve added 20 minutes of black screen to fool people into thinking it was a real review. Do these hackfrauds just steal all their ideas from the comments section?

    • Cameron Vale

      I once jokingly commented that they could make an episode of BotW with both Mike and Jay absent, and greenscreen a second Wizard into the shot to make up the difference. This seems like a similar idea.

      • Jason

        Hackfraudery, thy name is George Lucas RedLetterMedia.

      • Percy Gryce

        Are you saying Wizard = Mike + Jay?

        Heresy.

        • Cameron Vale

          I was jesting!!

          • Percy Gryce

            Off with your head anyway.

  • Fangs

    I just knew it was a prank by skimming through the comments. If I don’t get to see Jay in the very 1st minute I just stop watching it.

    • omitted

      This video needed 110% more Jay… naked

      • Fangs

        If just Jay accounts for 100%. Jay naked would be something around 135%. I can tell by looking at any man’s countenance how big his cock is. I assure you, Jay’s throbbing mast of sheer pleasure is humongous.

        • omitted

          Damn, I wish I had your Cock-O-Vision too

          • Fangs

            Be careful what you wish for. It can get really overwhelming sometimes.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            Or underwhelming.

        • http://about.me/hexeno Hexeno

          Oh boy I love being part of the RLM fandom.

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          Confirmed for Jay.

          This may be the first time I’ve ever used this where it was topical.

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    You were going to waste that time anyways.

  • Meester Smeeth

    I was enjoying that.

  • castlemonster

    Who didn’t know that Mike and Jay take April 1st off? It’s their Holy Day!

    • Jason

      Yes, everyone should know they spend all of April 1st ritually choking little boys to appease their pagan god, Gary Coleman.

  • http://www.codeofthewild.com/ SeanJJordan

    Did my eyes deceive me, or was Rich Evans hiding in the background, Hitchcock-style, in all of the discussion scenes?

  • cabbo

    Youtube? Well, I never.

    • cabbo

      Shout-outs to background Rich.

    • Jason

      not even good enough for Blip.

  • jason

    fuck yooooooooooou

  • Otto Torrens

    …. Words cannot express the disappointment on my face. You win a Michael Bay Disappointment award.

    • Percy Gryce

      Have you at some time every been appointed by Michael Bay?

      • WrongWithYourFace

        You can’t really be disappointed by him; he always delivers exactly what you’d expect him to.

      • Otto Torrens

        He doesn’t give them out, he just receives them.

  • Mark Bisone

    400% more creepy clowns in this one. Thanks for the nightmare fuel, you horrible bastards.

    • catnep

      Jack and Wizard and Wack and Jizard.

      • maggit

        Bizzarro Jack and Bizzarro Wizard.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        When I Jacked his Wizard he covered me in his Wack Jizzard.

        Too soon?

        • catnep

          Not soon enough, you youuuu.

    • Jason

      would’ve been even better if they had just switched shirts with each other. they’re the same size, after all.

      • catnep

        Where’d the toenut shirt go?

        • Jason

          a continuity error? well that’s just lazy.

          • catnep

            Wizard has more wardrobe changes than David Lee Roth!

          • Jason

            it’s to give the girls and women something interesting to look at.

      • Domo_Konnichiwa

        They switched beers, though.

        • Jason

          nice catch. as if the real Wizard would ever be caught dead drinking PA beer.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            Or wearing a plain shirt.

  • Mark Bisone

    I rather enjoyed your review of movie #166683.2, but the lack of sound made it difficult to focus on my twitter feed.

    Luckily, my apartment is filled with chainsaws these days.

  • http://raptr.com/celozzip/wall celozzip

    what a load of shit. i don’t know whether i’m relieved i didn’t have to try and sit through half an hour of those two cunts or pissed off we got a lame prank video.

    • Dolfanar

      It was stylistically designed to be that way…

      • Domo_Konnichiwa

        So dense….

        • Dolfanar

          They may have gone too far in a few places…

          • Percy Gryce

            Too many hipster T-shirts?

  • TJ

    Came expecting April Fools joke, got what I expected, was still disappointed.

    • Percy Gryce

      But first, the tranya. Gentlemen.

      • The Summer of George

        I trust you’ll relish it as much as I.

        Fun Fact: I almost talked my wife into naming our daughter “Tranya” but only an asshole would do something like that.

        • Percy Gryce

          You mean like Kevin Smith who named his daughter Harley Quinn–after a Batman villainess?!

          http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0808410/

          • The Summer of George

            Could have been worse. At least Harley and Quinn are actual names, unlike:
            Tu Morrow, Zuma Nesta Rock, Moxie Crimefighter, Pilot Inspektor, Kal-El, Bogart Che Peyote, Fifi Trixiebell, Heavenly Haraani Tiger Lilly, Audio Science, Princess Tiaamii (not an actual princess), Prince Michael (not an actual prince), Blanket, Jermajesty, Denim, Diezel, Banjo, Moonblood, Speck Wildhorse, Pirate, Rebel, Seven (THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MINE!!), Camera, Kyd, Satchel, Mars Merkaba, Bronx Mowgli, Hero.
            All true, and all guaranteed to sentence each child to years of therapy.
            So, fuck you, celebrity parents! Except Frank Zappa. Who gets a pass because he’s Frank Zappa.

    • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

      He kind of looks like a child version of Sloth, from the Goonies.

  • tjp77

    FUCK YOU RICK BERMAN. AND MIKE AND JAY.

  • Mark Nash

    Jay! You left in a frame of Black.

  • AdamCoates

    Laughed til I almost puked when I noticed Rich in the background.

  • Fartastic

    KHAAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!!

  • thefantasticmr

    You’re being had people! You can stop watching the video, now, okay buddy? Hang up the old hat you’re wearing!

    • Thanatos2k

      Oh I guess he watched it all

  • Benedict from Shrewsbury

    Aww Jack and the Wizard would’ve been a perfect pair of discussion buddies to plumb these clowny depths. The idea of you two doing a BOTW isn’t a twisted April fools joke, you should do it more often

  • catnep

    toenut nut
    toenut nut
    toenut nut nut nut

  • Drain

    What a dicktease. But I’m still thankful they didn’t put Nukie in this video. Then I would have been upset. I want that to make it to a real video.

  • Zero Sum

    Holy shitballs, I was just talking to a friend of mine about ‘Ice Cream Man’ last night. It’s one of those movies that people don’t believe really exist when you explain the premise to them. I think you’re right about it being Clint Howard’s only starring role ever. Also might be the only film he ever did that wasn’t directed by his brother….

    • Zero Sum

      Posted this before I finished watching the video :( I was really looking forward to Rich’s ear-piercing laughter at the scene where they shove a giant syringe full of green goo into Clint Howard’s brain. Also, the marshmallows in the rocky road are made of eyeballs. A true diamond in the rough :)

      • Alex Lee

        If they sold it as a comedy, it would have been in the top 10.

  • maggit

    Hack frauds!

  • Gene Parmesan

    I’ve never doubted my excitement in new RLM content so much.

  • Thanatos2k

    Ok, you have successfully trained my brain to look for Rich Evans standing motionless in the background. I spotted him right away.

    • Meester Smeeth

      He was also sat motionless in the other shot. Is there anything Rich Evans can’t do?

      • Domo_Konnichiwa

        Run fast.

    • Lars

      I think any form of moving pictures would be improved by Rich Evans standing motionless in the background.

      Come to think of it, even 2001 would be better if he would be standing (or floating) somewhere in the back of each shot.

      • Domo_Konnichiwa

        You’re a very thoughtful otter.

      • Showbiz Pizza Bear

        Rich was in 2001 – he played ‘Advanced Ape with Cat Allergy’.

    • JAGUART

      I …see him even when he’s not there.

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Well worth watching the whole video. The payoff was hilarious!

  • Now I Get It

    I swear to God, starting at 3:16 I thought 13 Jacks were going to murder 13 Wizards, Pyat Pree-style.

    • Percy Gryce

      Or Agent Smith style.

  • Percy Gryce

    That’s one way to squeeze more hipster T-shirts into a BOTW.

  • Percy Gryce

    They’re making Mike’s prediction of blank-screen viewing come true.

    • WrongWithYourFace

      The video was missing Mike’s mouth-made white noise. Missed opportunity! Unsubscribe!

      • http://www.google.net/ Kenny

        Just wait for the special edition.

  • Now I Get It
    • Percy Gryce

      Aren’t memegenerators over too?

      • Now I Get It

        Uh, well, only if, uhm… Honestly, if you don’t know already, I couldn’t possibly explain it to you.

        • WrongWithYourFace

          Why not? Oh… Now I Get It.

          • Now I Get It

            See, this guy fucking gets it. Enough said.

          • WrongWithYourFace

            Damn right I do. Wait, is there something on your face?

          • Now I Get It

            I got shot down by a major canon over Trope-istan. I try to help others avoid my mistakes, but this shit with PG just brings it all back. I gotta go…

            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjXWpK2YqQE

            thanks, man.

          • WrongWithYourFace

            Now I finally understand the meaning of ‘being cool about fire safety’.

          • Percy Gryce

            Or Jello paranoia.

  • Percy Gryce

    Rich was there, though. He was there.

  • Percy Gryce

    I knew something was off because it’s only been three days since they posted the new HITB.

    • Jason

      At least they had the decency to do a real segment shortly before this. Can you imagine the level of nerdrage had this been the first thing in 2 weeks? On second thought, it would’ve been glorious to behold and now I’m sad at the missed opportunity.

  • http://www.google.net/ Kenny

    I can’t wait for the special edition of this episode. I heard they will be adding 8 more minutes of never before seen black screen! Plus there was supposed to be 4 copies of each of them in the background fighting but they didn’t have the budget.

    • Jason

      I can’t wait until Mike Stoklasa finally gets the money he needs to bring us his true vision of this and other BotW episodes. It’s gonna be great.

      • killian long

        That’s gonna be great.

    • http://www.google.net/ Kenny

      Should I have said Rich Evanses?

  • Rick_Berman

    Please re-upload, The video ends before Dracula 3000 and.. recon? review. Unsubed and Ebay bids withdrawn.

    • Dolfanar

      CHECK YOUR FACTS!

    • Thanatos2k

      Fuck you Rick Berman. You ruined this too!?

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    So when did all of you come to know and love Rich? For me, it was the Flyin’ Ryan review. From that point on he was the star of the show for me. That laugh is hypnotic.

    • WrongWithYourFace

      I’ve loved him as long as I remember. His laugh wiped my long-term memory.

    • LelouchtheFilial

      It’s hard to say.
      The very first episode of Half in the Bag that I saw (because my dear old dad, who introduced me to the Plinkett reviews in the first place, recommended it) was The Amazing Spiderman review. The whole time, I was just thinking, “Oh, God, I hope I’m not the ONLY one who hated this movie! Tell me I’m not insane!”
      And they all panned it, even Rich, the comic book nerd. He was a fan of the Spiderman comics. On the internet. And he didn’t fall head-over-heels in love with the movie just because Gwen Stacey was Peter’s high school sweetheart (like the comics!) or that Peter had web-shooters (like the comics!) or that he was unwittingly part of some grand spider conspiracy (like the… wait, WHAT?!). I loved him because he wasn’t the fan of the Raimi movies that Jay was, but he wasn’t such a purist that he was willing to be pandered to by the movie. He even ACKNOWLEDGED that he had some biases with regards to Spiderman– “I’m too big a fan. I don’t think they could get anyone to satisfy me.” You don’t see TOO much self-reflection when people are criticizing shit on the internet.
      I liked his laugh in Flyin’ Ryan (a bit daunting at first, but you get used to it.) I loved him destroying the Star Wars Christmas specials as George Lucas at the… Chicago ComiCon? I think that’s it. And, by the Man of Steel review, I came to realize that Rich truly was the star of the show.
      I just wrote multiple paragraphs where I sucked Richevans’s dick and now I have Richevans gravy all over my face.
      I regret nothing.

      • Domo_Konnichiwa

        Luckily Mr. Plinkett has given you an easy mashed potatoes recipe…

        • LelouchtheFilial

          Sure– boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick ‘em in a stew.

          No, wait, shit… I’m getting the Plinkett Reviews confused with the Eragon trilogy. That happens sometimes.

    • Percy Gryce

      Funny you should ask. I can date my love affair with RLM precisely. It was this entry on Ann Althouse’s blog on December 18, 2009, that led me to the Phantom Menace Review:

      http://althouse.blogspot.com/2009/12/i-never-even-saw-star-wars-episode-i.html

      The world has never been the same since.

      • Now I Get It

        I can date nothing. The second I saw how interesting the site was, I was too rapt to remember the link that led me there or even which day it all started. That’s right . . . RLM rapt my adulthood.

        • catnep

          They rapt you guuud.

    • Dixon Bawls

      I remember him being phased in kind of gradually, but it was his dead-on Lucas impersonation that made me a fan.

      • Cameron Vale

        He’s a pretty good George Lucas cosplayer, and his regular voice sounds a bit like Patton Oswalt’s George Lucas voice, but I wouldn’t say ‘dead-on.’

        • LelouchtheFilial

          I’d say he was being a tad hyperbolic with the “dead on” part.

    • TapewormBike

      Seeing Mike being interviewed on some Collegehumour show I think. I watched the first Plinkett, went through the usual stages (annoying voice, weird, so fucking creepy, huh, those are good points, fuck yeah you are spot on, repeat, but liking it all the way through). I started to crave more and the guys slowly provided more and more. Until this day of betrayal.

    • catnep

      Can’t remember my life before Rich Evans era (BREE) I’ve been thoroughly brainwashed.

    • Dixon Bawls

      Since we’re giving our general RLM testimonies, I’d like to get mine on the record:

      I remember seeing Episode I with some friends/casual moviegoers. They thought it was great, and I knew it was pointless to rant.
      Then I ran into my cousin/Star Wars fan. When he told me how great he thought it was, I never felt more alone in the universe. Ditto next two movies.
      Then /Film posted the link to the Phantom Menace review. I suddenly knew I was not alone anymore.

      Thank you, Mike Stoklasa. You were my Tyler Durden.

  • Duckler

    Oh my god, it’s another Other Other guy and Guy Who’s Not Other, Other Guy.

    • Smoking Mirror

      Have some respect for Beardfat and AIDS Moby.

      • Duckler

        I thought Moby was AIDS Moby.. Maybe Tall AIDS Moby?

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          There’s AIDS Moby and Moby the rapper.

      • TJ

        Can we just start referring to Josh and Jack as this now?

  • Lilgreenman

    I prefer Couch Rich Evans to Closet Rich Evans.

    • Alex Lee

      You prefer Rich Evans out of the closet?

  • splimis

    That Rotor poster is awful similar to the original Mad Max poster.

    • TJ

      It is a pretty cool P.O.S.T.O.R.

  • Gareth Powell

    It’s no wonder I beat my wife when I come home to this.

    • LelouchtheFilial

      I’m sure she understands.

    • TapewormBike

      Yeah, same with me and murdering midgets.

      • Domo_Konnichiwa

        So that’s why there’s so few Munchkins left in the wild.

    • Duckler

      Collateral damage. Is she named Metropolis by any chance?

  • Ren1

    That’s messed up RLM… I was really pumped to watch another segment.

  • http://www.facebook.com/devin.reynolds.758 Devin Reynolds

    Did you still get “punked” if you saw it coming a mile away? I mean, come on guys, it’s April 1st, did any of us REALLY believe that anything about this video was going to be “on the level?”

  • milath

    There’s a couple million frames of black in there. You may wanna give your projects a watch before releasing them. Or was Len Kabasinski the guest editor on this one? :P

    (yes, April Fools. I hope you guys are doing these movies for real tho, they look great)

    • RisingZan

      I was thinking they should have just inserted a few frames of something into all that blackness, sort of like the appearance of Pazuzu in The Exorcist, but just have a few frames of Rich Evans’s face (or maybe Plinkett’s) instead.

  • Alex Lee

    We also get double the Rich in this episode.

  • Guest

    Haven’t even watched it yet, but I want you guys to know that seeing this video on the front page after a long day has made me unreasonably happy. RLM, you guys f@#$ing own.

    • Liz Frazier

      Wait for it…

    • LelouchtheFilial

      I– I feel bad.

    • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

      Almost time!

    • Percy Gryce

      They own you, at least, anonymous nobody.

  • Ogrot

    Jay and Mike have really let themselves go since last time we saw them.

  • Martin the Warrior

    ….aaaand that’s when I learned to never trust anything or anyone ever again.

    • omitted

      There is only one hell: the one we live in now

  • LelouchtheFilial

    This April Fools joke did everything it set out to do– it made me chuckle (not really chuckle so much as smirk and make a dejected “ha” sound), pissed me off and made me kind of afraid to go to bed tonight.
    I have wildly different reactions to this video depending on what mood I’m in. Right now, I just got back from a class that I thought was CANCELLED, because a sign on the door said so, and only my veeeery slow intuition made me turn around (I was on my way home) to see if class was still on. It turned out to be the Will of the Force that I returned to class, because it was TOTALLY still on! Some guy just put the sign on the door as a prank.
    Elation followed by incredible disappointment– such is the nature of April Fools.
    Go fuck yourself, Redlettermedia.
    (I love you.)
    Seriously, you assholes can go die.
    (Just not for a while.)
    Again, fuck you.
    (I’d very much like to.)
    Unsubscribe.
    (I don’t have a youtube account.)
    Cut the Terrance and Phillip shit and tell us who Cartman’s father is!
    (I’m getting my April Fools outrages mixed up now.)

  • LelouchtheFilial

    This quickly became the most nihilistic episode of BOTW I’ve ever seen.
    This video is SAYING something, man!

  • Lizzie

    I will never trust again.

  • Saruma

    It got me, though I should have been suspicious that only two people were watching the movies. Kudos to Rich Evans for the amazing performance.

  • STENDEC87

    I found 3:50 through 28:46 to be the most informative and thought provoking piece the RLM guys have ever produced. Top marks!

  • aquilo

    I give it 4 stars… out of 50.

  • Devil_Dinosaur

    What, this is an April fool’s joke? I’m no fucking fool, assholes. No Rich Evansy, no watchy.

    • AsamiSato

      Oh Rich Evans is there. HE IS ALWAYS THERE.

      • Dixon Bawls

        Truly a ‘Stay Put Marshmallow Man.’

        • Duckler

          “I couldn’t help it. It just popped in there..”

  • Dixon Bawls

    You guys are a pack of assholes…
    gg

  • Dixon Bawls

    too soon

  • http://www.smallfish-bigpond.com/ Kerensky97

    But I want to see Casper Van Dien…

    And Jessie. Always more Jessie.

    • Dolfanar

      She might as well just show us where the pinball machine is…

  • sepiajack

    I made it all the way to 10:39pm without even hearing someone MENTION it was April Fools day, and then this video got me!

  • TapewormBike

    2 hours till the end of 12 hour shift, falling asleep, maybe I´ll just check RLM site and watch some old…oh HELL YEAH!

    • TapewormBike

      Well, now I really am not sure if I am not deep inside a dream.

      • TapewormBike

        Fuck you guys and that beard is fucking dope.

      • omitted

        The dream is collapsing

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      TapewormBike, we all know you well enough to realize that ’12 hour shift’ is just your masturbation cycle [which is also your job...].

      • TapewormBike

        I mean, yeah. thought that is obvious (sploosh).

  • Anthony D.

    Surprised they went with this instead of a fake Plinkett review announcement or something. I knew something was up when it was just the two of them but I keep forgetting today is April Fool’s Day.

  • TapewormBike

    You know what is the weirdest part? The czech ad that keeps popping up is something about applying for a clinical trial for people who suffered apoplexy. Creepy.

  • Alex Lee

    I do like Rich Hitchcock, and Ice Cream Man looks incredible in a funny bad way.

  • TapewormBike

    I laughed. But it is 5:30AM and I have not slept through the night, so it was more of a confused giggle followed by quite a few tears.

  • http://about.me/hexeno Hexeno

    The question here is: Why

    • TapewormBike

      Let´s be honest, we deserve to be hurt.

      • HNSZ

        I always knew you were the masochistic type but not me. “1 april fools joke! There is no best of the worst! hahahah!” Good joke really.

      • Joe Syxpac

        It’s good to show contempt for your audience.

  • TapewormBike

    I need to watch Plinkett Eats now, to cleanse my palate.

    • Duckler

      Whoah, let’s not get crazy here..

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Who taped over my Best of the Worst YouTube video?!

    PS – After this, I’ll have just 15 more comments to go before I reach the 2000 comment milestone… what looks like is a new high is actually a really, really new low.

    • Dixon Bawls

      I’d say you have a problem.
      What’s wrong with your PAAAAAACE?!!!

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        I’ve got a problem.

        I’m gonna die.

    • Now I Get It

      Are you still fucking here?!

    • Percy Gryce

      Fuck you and your one-upsmanship.

      That said, I’m catching up to Tape for the # 2 spot. That fucker’s really slacked off.

  • Guest

    Wow. For real? This is a clever April fools joke? I thought so much more of you guys. This is like 99% of the drivel that passes as clever April fools jokes every year online. I’m very disappointed.

  • Duckler

    Yet you still have popcorn and booze. You have to make the best out of the worst.

    • NotRickBerman

      It’s gonna be great.

  • Duckler

    Alright then, here it goes.. What’s wrong with your FAAAAKES..?

  • http://www.plasticpals.com/ Robotbling

    I’ll be honest, this got me. I was like, oh I guess Mike and Jay are too busy to make content so their gang is helping out in the mean time. I was ok with that. Then those creepy Rich Evanses in the dark background appeared and will now haunt my nightmares.

    • Dolfanar

      Fuck the pain away.
      Fuck the pain away.
      Fuck the pain away.
      Fuck the pain away.
      Fuck the pain away.

    • Fantaman

      You know the serie’s going down when we have videos of their little gang pretending to be funny

  • http://hardycases.com/ Hale

    The real joke was that I didn’t get my daily dose of Care Boars at the end…

    • Tabajaras

      That would be more appropriate for Thanksgiving because i would be fucking thankful for that.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Got my lube, napkins, and chainsaw ready for nothing…

    • Joe Syxpac

      I get the lube and the chainsaw, but what are the napkins for?

      • Thanatos2k

        Cleanup, obviously.

        • TapewormBike

          Why the chainsaw then?

          • Joe Syxpac

            Cleanup, obviously.

  • Dr. Perky

    I knew something was wrong when I saw it was only on youtube.

    • bb-15

      I knew there was something wrong when I started seeing double and I saw Jack and the Wizard twice on the screen.

      • Fantaman

        Yeah something was wrong when these two unfunny assholes had more than 3 lines

  • GHOST DAD

    a hard lesson on an educational day. we have now learned that it is never wrong to take a mile when given an inch.

  • Ludwig Scroggins IV

    This is the worst fucking day of my life. I thought today I was finally going to get the attention and glory I deserve. Clint Howard has been hogging the limelight for faaaar too long.

  • Bob Borries

    I disagree, I thought Recoil should have been the worst, it was way worst than Dracula 3000, Van Dien was terrific, though Coolio took it down a notch.

  • http://www.redhotkicks.net/ Mister Cerberus

    I’ve not watched the video yet or read the comments below, but I’m tipped off that this is an April Fools episode by the fact it’s a YouTube video, rather than a Blip video, because their last joke video (Grown Ups 2) was also a YouTube video.

    Gonna see if I’m right.

    • ident

      I hate to burst that beautiful bubble, but Grown Ups 2 was a real movie and that was a real review. The other clue was the “Direct To Video Horror” subtitle, as if previous BOTW movies were all major studio releases.

      • http://www.redhotkicks.net/ Mister Cerberus

        And my comment was deleted by an admin. What.

  • Charon

    Lol. The FUCKING Ice Cream Man.

  • RPK

    Best review ever.

  • bjørn

    Worst april fools ever

    • Sparkles Peterson

      Worst April Fools ever would have been 29 actual minutes of Jack and Wiz.

  • Charon

    Bee-Tee-Dub, did anyone else notice Rich Evans in the back of those doppleganger Jack and Wiz shots?

    It’s a little creepy.

    • Joe Syxpac

      Rich is the best “guy in background” performer in the world.

      • catnep

        I thought Bagul was!

        • Joe Syxpac

          Rich Evans taught Bagul everything he knows.

          • catnep

            Aha! His young apprentice.

  • TapewormBike

    I was not overly joyous and excited at all.

    • Joe Syxpac

      I was a little bit gay.

      Also I was joyous and excited.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Anyone else feel sorry for Jack and Wiz when they were watching the movie alone?

    I stopped feeling that about three minutes and fifty seconds in.

  • Reginald Van Der Slythe III

    For a change re: BotW, I have actually seen two of the movies featured, and was waiting to see what they’d say about them. They barely touch on one, don’t talk about the other…and I have no idea if Recoil is worth tracking down.

    You April Foolin’ hack fraud motherfuckers.

  • AbdulAlhazred

    I thought for sure you’d post some actual content after April Fool’s to make up for the amount of chapped asses you created, but no! No soothing lip balm for my ass. I want my ass balm movie reviews!

    • Dolfanar

      It’s good to show contempt for your audience… Just ask Michael Bay.

    • Fantaman

      The best joke was assuming the audience cares one moment about Jack and Wiz

  • TJ

    April Fools: Confirmed for Gay

  • TJ

    April Fools: Confirmed for Gay

  • LelouchtheFilial

    Mike and Jay are such drunken assholes that even their cameras blacked out.

  • Richard Alcala

    You. Bastards. That is all.

  • Rich Wisneski

    I thought it was funny

    • TapewormBike

      Shut up Jay.

  • TapewormBike

    This should have been a fake Plinkett video, that would be gutsy as fuck. I was pumped for BotW and I would not mind at all watching Jack and Josh shoot the shit (as opposed to most, I like those guys). My butt? Yeah it is hurt.

    Now excuse me, I will look for a free entertainment that values me!

    • LelouchtheFilial

      Opposed to most?
      Ohhhh, I don’t know. I think most people are fans of them, but there’s ALWAYS that vociferous sect of the comments section that will complain about some of the more… tertiary RLM crew members.
      Just because it’s gotten to that point where we can’t call Jay the “other guy” any more.

      • Meester Smeeth

        It’s that Stoklasa fucker who gets to me, especially since he gave his wife a job on his show. Who does he think he is, Steven Spielberg?

        • LelouchtheFilial

          I think Jessie is putting off marrying Mike because of all the unfortunate accidents Mike’s previous wives have had.
          Best not to jinx it.

          • TapewormBike

            I think Mike told her that they can marry after he makes another Plinkett review….

          • LelouchtheFilial

            He’s married to his ART, dammit!

          • TapewormBike

            My friend is an actor and happens to be gay and his mom always says exactly that to people.

          • LelouchtheFilial

            Oh, I see.
            So, by making an INCREDIBLE leap in logic…
            Mike– confirmed for gay.
            I’m a regular Holmes, I am.

        • GHOST DAD

          eh, she contributes solid commentary and has an infectious laugh. its not like they added a female version of that character rich evans played that jay shot. anyway all of the regular face crew has been a part of RLM going back to the beginning, its a group of friends reviewing movies, but doing a good job, which i think is the initial draw for a lot of us. ghost jerk votes for RLM not to change a thing. except this april fools shit, please don’t do again.

        • TapewormBike

          Look, Jay is an essential part of the show, deal with it.

          • omitted

            Are you implying that… Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!

      • TapewormBike

        I was being deliberately pompous and self important, of course I know people like Wizack (that´s how kids talk these days, right?). Only a miserable fuck would not like them. No shortage of those showing up in here from time to time. of course

  • Fantaman

    How do you know a great serie is dying? When the morons who desperately want screen time from a successful show get their own videos alone. When did Jack and Wiz think they were actually funny? Oh and let’s not forget to completely half ass the april’s fools joke by putting no payoff at all. It’s still funny right?

    Yeah, I’m sure people who come here to watch Half in the bag and Plinkett reviews are thrilled to see two guys no one cares about half ass a joke sketch. Just because it’s on the same website doesn’t mean it’s the same quality.

  • Meester Smeeth

    I keep checking back to see if the real Best Of The Worst has been posted yet… anyone else have an awful feeling we wont see anything new until May now? The ultimate April Fooling!

    • GHOST DAD

      yeah, they got us good, in the way that waving a piece of bacon in a dog’s face then eating it yourself and laughing hysterically concerning it is really fooling the hell out of that animal.

  • Taft you FUCK

    There was a certain… serenity in the black. Like the universe was starting back at me. And what I saw? More black… No, wait… no… it’s mocking me. Stop it. STOP IT! Why are you torching me like this? WHY?!

  • The Summer of George

    Jokes on you, RLM! I didn’t want to watch anymore of this nonsense. The blackness was a welcomed relief. So, thank you.

  • JimTreacher

    I especially liked the tag at the very very end.

  • Tabajaras

    Now that that’s over with, do these for real!

  • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

    This episode pays homage to the Dunkin Donuts Finishing video, with it’s 25 minutes of nothingness at the end…. and the easter egg at 17:38 is priceless.

    • Booger

      Knew you were lying, still had to check the timecode just to be sure it wasn’t a new Plinkett review.

      • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

        You didn’t hear it? You gotta really turn up your volume.

  • brizoni

    You know what? I was on board for Guy and Other Guy talking to their split-screen doubles for a whole episode. Bring that shit on, I’m game! But no.

    • Jason

      Ah, but that’s the genius of it, don’t you see? At first you think “Okay, the gag is it’s just the two of them reviewing it.” Then you see the doubling effect and you think that’s going to be the gag. But little did you suspect that those were just phases 1 and 2 of their clever April Fool’s prank. You let your guard down, and that’s when they stab you right in the dick with 20 minutes of black screen.
      April Fool’s motherfucker.

    • Jigsaw

      Nah, that would just be a rip-off of the one guy conversation videos on the CinemaSins Youtube channel. And even he dropped that idea by now.

  • PattyPlacenta

    I saw this was posted earlier in the day and planned my night around it, I packed a bowl and made some popcorn (there is a joke in there somewhere) and get trolled by this shit.

    Also, I thought that it was just going to be Jack and Josh for the entire video because nobody likes them.

  • Thanatos2k

    Just think guys. Instead of this, we could have gotten another episode of Plinkett: The Animated Series.

  • http://www.according2robyn.blogspot.com/ According2Robyn

    Good show, but it dragged a little in the last ten minutes.

    A-

  • BishopRen

    You fucks!

  • atheistconservative

    Dear RLM: Nobody likes fucking spinoffs. Ask Joey.

    • ident

      Or Star Trek: The Next Generation or The Colbert Report or The Simpsons.

      • LelouchtheFilial

        Or Frasier.
        Uhhh… it’s too early to cast judgment on ‘Better Call Saul’ but I’m confident it’s going to be good.

        • ident

          It’s gonna be great.

    • TapewormBike

      What spinnoff are we talking here?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    On the 1st day of April I arrived to RLM.
    “Another April Fools’ joke? I’ll show them!”
    I laid my eyes on the time code, and all was fine and swell:
    “At least someone has a heart this day, no need raising hell!”
    But soon enough I realized, all was not okay:
    “There’s Jack and Wiz again, but no Rich, Mike or Jay?!”
    After that the video was clearly confirmed for gay.
    But, hey! What else could one expect on April Fools’ Day?

    • omitted

      You are a bard, good Ser!

      • TapewormBike

        You know, in czech “ser” is an imperative of “shit”, as in vulgar expression of command to defecate. And it made me laugh, so thank you:)

        • WrongWithYourFace

          He doesn’t no how to English. Should I go to the bathroom?

        • Forever

          It’s a shame that modern english is so simple that it doesn’t have a word for “TAKE A SHIT!”

    • Ogrot

      RICH IS IN THE VIDEO!!!!!!!!

      YOUR RHYMES ARE FALLACIOUS!!!

      UNSUBSCRIBE!

      • WrongWithYourFace

        He may have been there. But his soul wasn’t.

        • Ogrot

          RICH EVANS HASN’T HAD A SOUL SINCE HE READ WACKY KID JOKES BY THE JOVIAL BOB STEIN!!

          RESUBSCRIBE!!

  • Ogrot

    Rich Evans, the president of space, stands in his office… waiting… contemplating… wondering what happened to his friends.

  • TJ

    I never understood all the Jack and Wizard hate. I look forward to Jack being in BotW, and while Wizard is a bit hit and miss with me (in no offense to him), I don’t hate him.

    But who gives a shit about what I think BURN RLM TO THE GROUND.

    • Franklin Floratos

      I fully support the first half of this comment. But the ending was rather lacklustre.

  • elgatoblanco

    oh fuck me they actually watch movies that I know now? :D damn this is going to be good… had that Ice cream movie lying around for a while now never feeling like watching it.

    • TapewormBike

      Oh boy…..

      • elgatoblanco

        FUCK…. oh well. Rich Evans.

        • elgatoblanco

          you got got there, dog

  • Alex Lee

    Or so fascinating.

  • Gallen_Dugall

    everyone noticed the Rich Evans on the right but missed the one sitting on the left?

  • LelouchtheFilial

    This reminds me of that one response to the Daniel Tosh controversy that RLM posted a few years ago.
    Jay: What about making fun of retarded people? I’M retarded, and I get offended when I hear the word… reeeeetard.

  • Junkie

    How about YOU don’t tell people what they should and shouldn’t say and take your social justice hugbox mentality back to tumblr where it belongs. Nobody gives a shit here.

  • TapewormBike

    I don´t like when people do it either, but the context is what matters. Lelouch does not strike me as homophobic at all, plus he was just using a phrase from RLM video when he said that.. And it was funny. Granted, rhyming cannot save everything
    but when no harm is meant, ain´t no thing
    he is just one of us, one more RLM digger
    so let´s not worry about it and be cool. Buddy.

  • War1ock505

    I have a feeling that I’m going to rewatch this later down the road, and be sad all over again.

    • fuckstick

      I just did. Now I know why I forgot this episode.

  • http://kingengrishkube.deviantart.com/ kube of Nazareth over 9000

    is it safe to watch this now?..

  • WrongWithYourFace

    You haven’t done your RLM homework, I see. It was something called The French Revolution a reference.

  • Booger

    Ha! I’m watching this again on the third so your April Fools joke is inappropriately timed. Jokes on you, now I only have to wait twenty more minutes until Care Boars starts.

    • Thanatos2k

      It’s a Youtube video. THERE IS NO CARE BOARS AFTERWARDS!

      • Booger

        Fuck! Way to tell me after I finish the video! I’m gonna go huff some Raid and watch animated Plinkett.

        • NotRickBerman

          You need the fast kill, low irritant.

          • Franklin Floratos

            You’ll need about six cans though.

        • Jacob De Paz

          It’s the kind that comes in the blue bottle.

  • Booger

    It’s all about the Silver Linings Playbook.

  • killian long

    What I would give to hear two Rich Evans laugh at the same time…

    • Ogrot

      Our puny mortal ears would not be able to withstand the ludicrousness of it.

      Rich Evans tried to record that effect once and it burned his fucking house down.

      • killian long

        Remember kids, be cool about Rich Evans safety.

    • http://hotair.com/ SwiperTheFox

      Hah, yes!

  • proghead777

    WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?! I WOULD SUCK OFF MAD MAX RIGHT NOW IF SOMEONE WOULD JUST SPEAK TO ME! IT’S THE END OF ALL THINGS! IT IZZZ THE EEENNNDDD, III TTTEEELLL YYYOOOUUU!!!… …. …. …. Oh, hey, the next episode of TBBT is posted… NYTE SUCKAZ… *snore*

    • ident

      What do you like about that show?

    • The HD

      Who wouldn’t suck off Mad Max?

  • ScottMintred

    I decided to have lunch at my desk instead of going out with my friends so that I could a) Save money, and b) watch the new Besting the Worst. Joke’s on you assholes because I’ve never watched an ad on blip.tv once (hooray for adblock plus). And I’ve seen all of your videos. Enjoy the ramen noodles, dickheads.

  • Ben Burger

    HACK FRAUDS!

  • Derrick Cryderman

    I watched the whole thing. I only became disappointed by about the last five minutes of the video, as Jay or Mike never showed up. I wanted the same shit I had last time you hacks.

    I guess it was stylistically designed to be that way but they can diminish the effects of that.

  • andrew thompson

    what pissed me off wasnt lord vodomort and zach galifianakis doing the show, or the fact that your april fools joke was on the 2nd… it was the 20 minutes of blank screen. fuck you you fraud hacks! more things now!

    • andrew thompson

      i’m watching snakes on a plane now! are you happy!! i’m not!

      • andrew thompson

        it turns out there was snakes on the plane…

  • Veteran of the Psychic Wars

    So based on the reaction to gilthoniel’s post, I take it you guys would all be pretty chill with using the ‘n’ word then.

    • Pissernacht

      Nigger…

      …the best part? For all anyone here knows I’m a six and a half foot black man with an elephant dick grafted between my legs…

      Alright, maybe not that last part.

    • idleheaded

      cool false equivalency, friend.

  • Mike Jakermen

    I think they should do a Dance movie Episode. I was watching Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo. And that movie is pretty Bad. But Damn is it just so fun to watch. Its like a Dance Movie meets Scooby Doo (in terms of Plot).

  • mrsleep

    It’s good to know Mike and Jay understand that every video is just a little better with Rich Evans in it.

    • http://hotair.com/ SwiperTheFox

      Yes!

  • Benedict from Shrewsbury

    Holy crap have there been 18 episodes already?

  • Benedict from Shrewsbury

    Wait a minute… youtube?

  • Pissernacht

    Hey, just a question, a serious, from my heart question; how does saying “gay” hurt people?

    Yes, shut the fuck up people, I know that it tends to be meant as “homosexual” and that is the insult, but just when exactly did a word, which still has many legitimate meanings, come to be forced into one and only one definition?

    As far as I can tell, Gil, you’re part of the problem you’ve chosen to rail against. Out of an assload of meanings, you freely chose to assume that gay was being used as an insult.

    Would you kindly explain that to me?

  • idleheaded

    i’m gay and i don’t give a shit. at all. in fact, straight people trying to state what is offensive to me is more offensive than any slur. get some thicker skin.

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