Best of the Worst: Bloody Birthday, Crazy Fat Ethel II, and Psycho From Texas

September 18, 2013719 Comments

With the help of special guest Gillian, the gang suffers through some of the worst movies on Best of the Worst yet: the worst lil’ murderers slasher film Bloody Birthday, Grandma’s-home-movie-disguised-as-a-sequel Crazy Fat Ethel II, and the Coen Brother’s-esque crime caper Psycho From Texas.

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Filed in: Best of the WorstGeneral Updates

  • iamtravis182

    First!

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      I hope you get polio. SUPER polio.

    • steven

      3RD

    • Evan Tsilimidos

      Wow! Congratulations! Magic Conch, what magnificent prizes do we have in store for this man?!
      http://i2.wp.com/badbooksgoodtimes.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/spongebob-nothing.jpg?fit=1000%2C1000

    • iamtravis182

      You don’t understand. To be First in a comment thread, has been my lifelong dream.

      Now I can happily die of SUPER polio. @mitchelltaconash:disqus

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Super polio is like regular polio except super.

  • spidertour02

    Dammit, not before bedtime! AAAAAHHHHH DILEMMA

  • obriencj

    The cover of Crazy Fat Ethel II looks exactly like KG from Tenacious D.

  • JarJar Stinks

    IT’S ABOUT TIME YOU PUT UP A NEW VIDEO YOU HACK FRAUDS!!!

  • Percy Gryce

    My birthday present came 6 days late. But who’s counting?

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Harry early birthday [for next year]!

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        By ‘Harry’ I obviously meant ‘happy’… or did I?

        Avada Kedavra!

        • Percy Gryce

          Dirty Birthday of a Pair.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Someone give this one thumbs up and we’ll have 5,4,3,2, and 1!

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Oh, I guess it’ll have to be 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, and 1 instead.

      • Annabelle

        Have a Harry S. Birthday.

        • Percy Gryce

          Is that where Plinkett comes to your party and entertains your guests with tales of bad movies, murdering hookers, and shootouts with the cops?

    • http://www.facebook.com/deejaytaufiq Mohamad Taufiq Morshidi

      Happy Birthday.

      Your birthday’s gonna be great.

    • ridingthedragon

      Five days here. Small world. :)

      • Percy Gryce

        Lot of September babies. Count nine months back and you’ll see a lot of wintertime cuddling.

        Or maybe, in this context, you don’t want to see that.

        • Cameron Vale

          Maybe even less months than that, if the mothers do a lot of drinking afterwards.

    • sepiajack

      What fun would be birthday without red letter media?

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      “Who counts the Countsmen?”

  • missrowsdower

    I WAS JUST ABOUT TO GO TO BED YOU HACK FRAUDS

    • Sir Breckenridge

      I was trying to study for 2 exams… well, at least I opened the books, that counts for something.

    • http://www.facebook.com/deejaytaufiq Mohamad Taufiq Morshidi

      I was actually on my way to work here in Singapore.

      Fuck you for making me watch this on my phone you damn hack frauds.

  • StopThinkingBrainUrGoingToHurt

    I got a huge erection when I saw this posted, but then it was lost due to the absence of Rich Evans in the discussion.

    • Robert Lenski

      But at least he comes in to bring in the “Latest News!” In fact they should do that again in another episode.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      “If your erection lasts longer than 4 hours, please call the Lightning Fast VCR Repair hotline.”

  • Drhill

    Nooooo……..I mean Yes!!!!!!!

  • Max Wylde

    Gillian rocks.

  • Joshua Pelfrey

    Oh, “Crazy FAT Ethel”, thought this might be Crazy FUN Ethel. Totally different.

  • BunnyFooFoo

    Needs moar Shoji Tabuchi, IMO

  • Matthew Shannon

    i don’t know why people complain about the bald guy. he is great in Community.

    • ridingthedragon

      Did he just go PC and call it a mouth harp? It’s called a Jew’s harp. LOL

      http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/jew%27s%20harp

      • Cameron Vale

        It’s probably a good idea to call it a mouth harp anyway, the term is out of date for our current era when many of us personally know Jews who might own harps.

  • SammyH

    Fantastic episode, loved the new panel member.

    • Robby

      NEW? YOU N00B GO BACK AND WATCH THE “WHAT’S YOUR NUMBER” & “THE BLACK NINJA” HALF IN THE BAG EPISODE.

      FUCK YOU

      AND yo mama.

      • Annabelle

        Hey dude, try watching the Phantom Menace review again. This shit is like Altman.

      • SammyH

        I’ve seen it. I just meant new to the BotW panel.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Well, we can deduce their mom was probably fucked at least ONCE.

  • Muthsarah

    This is a nice look for Jay. I though he was hot when he was slack-jawed and comatose in the Prometheus review, but surprisingly, he’s even hotter when conscious, and black-shirted. Way to be, my main man!

    And Gillian was a wonderful surprise. She would have been missed, had I not watched her HitB episode every week for the last two years. But more is always better. Indeed.

    • missrowsdower

      I either want Gillian or myself to date Jay soon. And I’m not above going crazy fat Ethel on a bitch!

    • http://www.nostalgiajunkie.net/ Annette

      Jay’s like a fine wine; he only gets better with age.

      • ident

        Or turns into vinegar.

        • Marvin Choi

          Vinegar that you want to fuck.

          • Cameron Vale

            We call it VILF.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            That’s how you get a Pickled Dick.

      • El_Runko

        Only because there was no other direction to go in.

        http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a235/sirrunk/130-2-Kopia_zpsdc9f84ba.png

        • catnep

          Jack Example!

          • Now I Get It

            I missed this effing reference, too, but all the best (of the worst) people are up-voting, so, what the eff.

          • catnep

            Your job is beginning to affect your performance here!

          • Now I Get It

            I know. I just don’t have space for more scars.

        • DarthRandal

          The name’s Christmas….Lloyd Christmas!

  • david bailey

    Jay she is sooo interested in you!

    • Joshua Pelfrey

      She is also a comedic actress.

      • SUPERSOUP

        Also she’s a girl.

    • JackMarco

      It´s the beard. It makes even me attracted to him.

  • Mel Pardue

    The closeup of Gillian’s face around the 15 minute mark made me realize I’ve garnered the same reaction out of my former friends with comments I’ve made regarding children and mass murder….

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      Try calling children “minions” and babies “future minions” as part of your regular vocabulary. People really seem to like it.

  • Sam

    Oh my God, this is just what I needed.

  • Percy Gryce

    They actually wasted beer on that movie. Didn’t see that coming.

    • sepiajack

      The beer was spilled, it can never be un-spilled

  • Chris Korhonen

    You guys should have a contest to pick a fan to come drinking and watch movies with you and be on an episdoe of BoTW. And to save time and money doing a contest, just pick me. Thank you.

  • LookAtThisIdiot

    Wow that girl is trying hard.

    • Sébastien St-Pierre Robert

      Knock it off, she was herself.

      • Now I Get It

        That’s “Herself.” She who must be obeyed.

    • Joshua Pelfrey

      Yeah. Trying. What kind of loser tries? What we want is zero effort in our entertainers. This whole thing smacks of effort and heart. Fuck’n weirdos.

      • ident

        The implication when someone says someone is trying too hard is really that they are noticeably failing. When comedy is done well, it appears effortless. This should not be construed as agreement with the original commenter.

    • dennett316

      Bet you never say that guys are “trying too hard”, do ya champ? Only those icky girls do that…almost as bad as those fake nerd girls, right?

    • Kram Sacul

      I disagree. I think she put in a lot of effort. She just isn’t very funny.

  • Sébastien St-Pierre Robert

    That was a peculiar but amazing episode. You guys are great. “Sex Weirdo” was the biggest laugh.

  • Nancy Frye

    All three of these movies, to mis-quote a MST3k line, are like Moebius strips: they start nowhere and lead nowhere. They are mesmerizing in their inexplicable awfulness. You guys deserve a medal for this episode.

  • fakeyfakerson

    Blip video hosting = bu..ff..er..in……g..

  • Daniel Bellfield

    I love the news updates! I’m laughing so hard. You guys are the best.

  • missrowsdower

    I think this is my favourite episode yet. I love the Rich Evans updates!!

  • http://www.smallfish-bigpond.com/ Kerensky97

    This just in! Linnea Quigley (Naked Dancing Barmaid) is cast in the 2014 “Crazy Fat Ethel” remake!
    Circle of life.

    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001643/?ref_=tt_cl_t13

    • SUPERSOUP

      Well that shit freaks me out.

    • Mark Bisone

      Holy shit! she was also Trash in “Return of the Living Dead”. I knew I recognized that utter lack of dignity from somewhere!

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Do you have a version WITHOUT that black bars?

        Don’t worry, it’s for… science. Yeah.

  • Fernando Garci-Crespo C

    Best Best of the Worse Ever. Thanks for this!!

  • Anon

    Every video should have rich evans just slightly out of frame

    • Percy Gryce

      Half in the Bag? More like half in the frame.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Don’t you just HATE how you sometimes can’t delete your comments? This one’s particularly troubling.

    • Percy Gryce

      Half in the Bag? More like half in the frame.

  • Cody

    holy shit, jay looks fucking fantastic.

  • http://www.plasticpals.com/ Robotbling

    I love movies with extended sub-plots about cake

  • Steven

    This show gets better every week

  • OBC

    I find it amusing that the gang were wondering if movie was created to showcase the nekkid beer striptease dance scene when Feeding Frenzy was originally going to center around a 45 minute erotic shower sequence.

  • jacob

    You haven’t seen Crazy Fat Ethel I because it’s called Crimminally Insane.

    • dennett316

      Yep….Brad “The Cinema Snob” Jones did a great review of it, as well as Crazy Fat Ethel 2, and the follow up movies from the same crew (starring the same people as well) Death Nurse and Death Nurse 2.

  • Muthsarah

    “My nausea drove my entertainment”

    Quote of the Year-worthy!

    And Star wipes. STAR WIPES!!!

  • radicalfce

    Really great episode, guys! And a request:

    Can we have an entirely Nick Millard themed BotW? Please!? Make this little boy’s dreams come true.

  • Steve

    They raped that poor VHS tape. They are RAPISTS!

    • SUPERSOUP

      Everyone’s a rapist these days.

      I’ve never had sex with a girl who didn’t wanna, and even I’M probably a rapist. It takes you by surprise really, finding out you rape.

      • Cameron Vale

        It’s the guys who didn’t wanna, that’s how they get you.

      • Now I Get It

        In the future, everyone will be a rapist for 15 minutes.

  • Andrew Biggs

    Ross and Rachel < Jay and Gillian …the SEXUAL TENSION IS COMPELLING!

  • Andrew Biggs

    Gillian needs her own spinoff show: “Gillian Says Things”. I would watch.

    • Percy Gryce

      I see crossover potential: “Rich Evans Watches” meets “Gillian Says Things.”

      • sepiajack

        I would definitely watch Rich Evans watch her say things.

        The Mike and Jay could review it on half in the bag.

        Mr. Plinkett could do a 90 min review of the half in the bag episode

        Then they could watch the Plinkett review on Best of the Worst, and Gillian can guest star again, and say things about it.

        Ah the circle of meta would reach paradox levels at that point.

        • Cameron Vale

          And when that Plinkett review is almost finished, they’ll announce on Twitter that they just announced on YouTube that they will announce on Twitter and YouTube when it’s finished.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Twitter? That sounds like another name for a woman’s vagoon.

          • Percy Gryce

            Welcome to the Internet.

          • sepiajack

            The something about video games… game station 2.0

            Mama said never stop, keep dancing!

  • SUPERSOUP

    I can imagine the sorts of things Gillian is good for, and this isn’t one of them.

    • SUPERSOUP

      How I feel when twelve people downvote obvious sarcasm/satire

      • Cameron Vale

        Like a sweaty pervert?

        • SUPERSOUP

          Pervert yes, sweaty no.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Yeah, I didn’t feel it was that obvious.

        Note my obvious lack of sarcasm.

        • SUPERSOUP

          Was I supposed to put some kind of nod and a wink after it? When someone says something so ridiculous I assume it’s sarcasm by default.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            ‘So ridiculous’ is a stretch. You comment seemed like a basic insult in line with others on here that were insulting her.

  • dennett316

    The other movies that the crew of Crazy Fat Ethel 2 did – Death Nurse 1 & 2 – both feature that same ‘running around the furniture’ scene….it’s their signature scene, for some reason.

  • Daniel Nguyen-Phuoc

    Heyyy Gillian is back for Space Cop shooting! I bet. Maybe. Probably. :D

  • Joshua Barkdull

    “Is this the director?” made me lose my shit. lmao

    • Cameron Vale

      I was thinking the same thing about this guy.

  • http://guerillaview.com/ Paulaner
  • Andrew Biggs

    You’re Welcome.

  • antipax

    Criminally Insane (1975) is actually on Youtube, as is Criminally Insane (1987) aka Crazy Fat Ethel 2. Here is the first one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPraF7g11pg

  • mckaysproductions

    Hey guys the original crazy fat ethel is called Criminally Insane if i remember rightly this is it here. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072831/

  • losknor

    I think that guy Jay should hook up with Gillian. She was pretty cute, and they seemed to vibe together well. IF I was him I would be hookin’ up with Gillian.

    • SUPERSOUP

      She’s a bright, cute sort of girl. Seems like she’d make you laugh just being herself.

      I feel like she and I would get along if we hung out.

      • SUPERSOUP

        Jesus. Sorry for saying something nice about someone.

        • sepiajack

          I unintentionally defaulted to the Revenge of the Sith Plinkett voice when I read your comment hearing him say “Jesus I am so sorry I had to mention you in this review”

          • SUPERSOUP

            That’s when you know you’ve watched too much Plinkett.

          • Percy Gryce

            “Too much Plinkett”? What is this heresy of which you speak?

          • sepiajack

            I keep making RLM references at work and with friends, forgetting that it makes no sense to them

          • Percy Gryce

            “Uh, what’s happening in this movie?”
            “I don’t like things that are different.”
            “As a guy named William Shakesman once said . . . .”

            These are all part of my bag of idioms now.

          • sepiajack

            me too.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            I’ve started using the awkward pauses that Mike employs, as well as his deadpan deliveries of things. Especially the looking down and away and suddenly saying, “Oh…”

          • sepiajack

            I use ‘it hurts my brain’ or his ‘I can see it in my minds eye’ a lot.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Is this while you’re pushing a wheelbarrow around?

          • Now I Get It

            HEY! I missed the world premiere of this review, and its Friday matinee, because I WAS pushing that wheelbarrow around FOR REAL.
            But I did it, and I keep doing it, because when I shift compost for three-and-a-half hours under an unseasonably hot sun, I believe that I do a day’s true labour and please God.
            …Plus, I had to kill a mouse. So Friday was really, really hard!

          • catnep

            Did you at least bring us the mouse??

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Of course ‘cat’nep would wonder this.

          • Now I Get It

            Well, that is the etiquette – isn’t it? – to leave the corpse on the door mat or throw rug to be tripped over. Any good cat knows that. So, congratulations on hacking your owner’s account, you sneaky feline. No mouse for you! I buried the tragic creature on its shield in the tall grass, after I took of its head off.

            But for your stealthy efforts, here’s some pornogaphy.
            http://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0162/1280/files/Angry_Cat_medium.JPG?474

          • catnep

            *Rich Evans ecstacy face*

          • Now I Get It

            Behind-the-scenes fun fact: this porno cat made a career playing “dominant males,” until it was discovered that his sexual itch was really a mouse allergy. He died licking himself raw, after refusing cortisone treatments. His entourage of baby mice, shown above circling his head like a crown of slugs, left little of his remains, which were ground into a bag of bone meal that really, really stinks.

          • catnep

            What a harrowing tale of excess! I hope you mulched your cannabis plants with his bone meal!

          • Now I Get It

            Cannabis?! Like “Wow!” Where’d that come from? Gaa! It’s like you think all my loose talk about white zombie, cannibal rabbits, a poetry-slinging spider, cynical, unionised barn cats, and a neighbour who should really just mind his own business was really about something else. I just, no, no-no, not at all. …But yeah, after I sell all this weed, I will have literally ground his bones to make my bread.

          • Now I Get It
          • catnep
          • Now I Get It

            I don’t know. I think your cat’s eyes look almost as stoned as mine, but I’m betting the fur on yours is way cleaner. Sylvester for the win.

          • catnep

            Yeah! I think Sylvester ate some shrooms from the garden again. Tweety is actually a metaphor for kitty’s ‘little problem.’

          • Now I Get It

            “…a metaphor for kitty’s ‘little problem’.”

            Yeah, funny how that works. A friend didn’t understand the dragon in “The Hobbit”, saying “It appears and moves in, but then what? What does it want?” Well…?

            He didn’t get that the film’s first event isn’t the dragon’s attack but the King’s madness for gold, after which – gasp! – a monster arrives that hoards the gold and empties the kingdom. Metaphor, anyone?

            That “madness” or character – what Aristotle called “habitual action in pursuit of a goal” – is why I always had way more empathy for the bad ol’ puddy tat and Wile E. Coyote, chasing their own dragons, than I ever did for Elmer Fudd, the Tasmanian Devil, or the outlaw Yosemite Sam chasing Bugs Bunny.

            Despite his cutenss Tweety was not that watchable, and despite his speed the Road Runner was quite static. Whereas Bugs, Sylvester, and Wile E. were persistent in their ability to make trouble – Bugs for others, Syl and Wile for themselves – and to entertain.

          • catnep

            This was so insightful I had to chew it twice. I think you’ve revealed a key reason why Warner Bros. cartoons are so thoroughly watchable. They have a brilliance that does not hit you over the head. But it’s there twinkling for those with the eyes to see it.

          • Now I Get It

            Yes, I think that’s right, now that you mention it. Warner cartoons do seem watchable, memorable, and beloved in a way that others aren’t.

            Hanna-Barbera’s cartoons were eventually sent-up – “reloved?” – in the form of “Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law”, “Venture Brothers”, “Sealab 2021″, and “Space Ghost: Coast to Coast”. I don’t think Disney’s cartoons were ever sent-up, but the studio itself has long been a target for satirists.

            Whereas today the old Warner cartoons remain unmolested, giving them a stature closer to those of smaller production companies like Total Television Productions (“Underdog”, “Tennessee Tuxedo”, et al.) and Jay Ward Productions (“Rocky & Bullwinkle”).

            Maybe it’s because the original cartoons of Warners, TTP, and Jay Ward were closer to satire already. It’s an interesting question, both about the history of cartoons and the evolution of humour in our peculiarly hysterical age.

          • sepiajack

            Well you certainly earned your RLM fix!

            This episode is dedicated to the memory of that mouse.

          • Now I Get It

            Yeah, I can hardly wait till we start slaughtering the pigs in October. They’ll have to rename the whole site.

          • sepiajack

            Well yeah obviously, I mean if I’m not pushing a wheelbarrow around, I just don’t feel like myself, my whole sense of identity is lost, they probably wouldn’t recognize me.

            “Hey who is this non-wheelbarrow guy? and why does he say weird things like ‘it is it?’ and ‘oooohhh my gawwwwwd’?”

  • Billy Nunez

    this mutha fucka went Ryan Gosling on us

  • ridingthedragon

    At 05:58, I was expecting Zod to be sentenced to the Phantom Zone! Guilty… Guiltttty! Guilty!

  • LukeMM95

    I laughed harder than I should have when that kid got shot in the mouth.

    • Joe Syxpac

      That scene was really awkward and weird.

      “This will be our little secret” kinda weird.

    • Zequi

      I beg you to watch the whole scene, is the most amazing thing ever.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBx1XdRsKks

      the kid at 2:10 seems to be made of butter or something.

  • LukeMM95

    Also I expected them to light the beer soaked video tape on fire. Oh well, I guess the shame will do just as well.

    • Marvin Falz

      I expected them to smash the tape with a baseball bat, because the close-up of the lying tape reminded me of the close-up of the radio you hear in the first minute of We’ll Follow the Sun of Married… with Children.

  • ridingthedragon

    The Erotic Mr. Rose.

    Tagline: He was a real prick.

    • Rob Rose

      You dont know me.

    • Percy Gryce

      A movie that by any other name would still stink.

    • Sir Breckenridge

      I was in my college library and when they read that name, I almost lost it with dead silence all around me.
      Moral of the story: Don’t watch RLM vids while in the library. Just study. Don’t be me.

  • http://www.facebook.com/outsidedog William Wilson

    TWO redheads on the couch?!!! I am so jealous…

    • SUPERSOUP

      Yeah they’re sexy but what about the souls?

      • Cameron Vale

        You want ‘em?

  • DoctorKillpatient

    Thank you for bringing back Gillian.

    What’s Your Number/Black Ninja episode is still one of my personal favourites.

    One a side note, when it comes to girls like Jocelyn, Jessi, and Gillian, I feel there is an unfair overabundance of redheads in Milwaukee.

  • http://kingengrishkube.deviantart.com/ kube of Nazareth over 9000

    Mike’s smile on this picture is haunting me..

  • bb-15

    Great to see Gillian again. The movies were junk but funny. Everyone was having a good time. Rich interrupting with news flashes was clever. And the gang trying to read the movie titles by Millard was hilarious. And Rich as the Texan bad guy was the right finish.

    Lots of laughs. Keep em coming RLM!

    • sepiajack

      This made me think that the next RLM show should be some sort of fake breaking news show

      • Percy Gryce

        Rich Evans Reports.

        • sepiajack

          “Masturbating furiously…”

      • Percy Gryce

        Rich Evans Reports.

        • Percy Gryce

          With lead correspondent, Dale Jackson.

          • sepiajack

            Imagine a show like HBO’s the newsroom, but through the lens of the RLM and cast with all their regulars

            Oh the possibilities.

            I’d also like some sort of feature starring the Wizard where he hosts a bookclub filled with zany eccentrics while Rich Evans cooks in the background

          • Paul Schumann

            yes! If only… that would be the best thing ever.

  • Jason Dubin

    You guys have a thing for red haired women, don’t you?

    • sepiajack

      Just means they have good taste!

  • Mer Miau

    I’m completely in love with Jay and watching this made me sad.
    (But it was a great episode.)

    • Jordan

      I’m completely in love with your avatar.

      • Lovely Henrietta

        Thanks! I think Joel was the first in my looong list of crushes on cute-but-kinda-nerdy guys that talk about movies.
        But I also had a crush on Crow T. Robot, so my taste in guys (or robo-guys) might not be the best.

  • sepiajack

    Yay Crazy Fat Ethel II!

  • sepiajack

    Gillian was awesome! Glad to see her back!

  • SomeGuyJustSaid

    Spider maaaan! Spider Maaan!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4o29VoxtsFk

  • Mike87

    Jay, you seriously need to hit that.

    • TheHaggisHunter

      yeah did you see that.

      • ohseanofnoise

        Seriously. Their celebrity couple name will be Jayllian.

  • Liam

    the ending of Fat Ethal 2 inspired The Dance Of Birth.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      I never want to see Crazy Fat Ethel oxygenate her womb space…

  • sosy1325

    Good thing they weren’t watching any romantic comedies with Gillian around again…

  • JohnBigbooty

    Bring back Gillian sooner rather than later please. She’s great. Another guest appearance in HITB would be nice too.

    And I can’t believe no one mentioned Ed Hunt’s brother Mike. I mean come on. A sitter at the net.

    • Cameron Vale

      Ed Hunter would be a funny nom de plume for a guy who makes cannibal films.

  • playdude92 .

    The women murdered by the kids in her kitchen in Bloody Birthday totally looks like Carrie Fishie.

  • Wasperheimer

    You cannot elude us for long, Shoji Tabuchi. Your fiddling in all of its glory will be shown to us, and we’ll begin our ascent!

  • Marvin Falz

    I smell a sweet new internet hit show: Gillian’s Shoe.

    • Percy Gryce

      Marvin, I had no idea you were a foot fetishist.

      Man, everyone is just letting it all hang out on this thread.

      • Marvin Falz

        Yes, sure, every day I pray to the Great Foot in the sky. And what did we get in return? Acid rain. I feel deeply ashamed.

  • aksen

    best of the best of the worst. more gillian please.

  • ricarleite

    Wait, you guys need to review not only Shoji Tabuchi, but also Beware Children at Play. WTF was that?!

    • radicalfce

      I remember that scene of the kid getting shot in the mouth more than anything from those other movies. 0_o

    • Muthsarah

      Brad Jones has reviewed it already, in case you’re antsy.

      • ricarleite

        I saw it some hours after my comment…

  • Marvin Falz

    Isn’t that the Frank Worley Sing Along song? Kinda fits the occasion.

  • Marvin Falz

    Oh and before I forget it: this BotW pretty much centered aroung Gillian and Jay.

    • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

      I can’t wait to see the horrible and creepy fan art

      • Percy Gryce

        I stole this–right from this very board. So sue me.

  • notfunnydouche

    Gillian, Jack AND Wizard! cant wait to see this comment section.

    • ident

      No need to wait. It’s here. And so are you. It’s weird.

      • sepiajack

        Time travel is not yet a reality, but in 30 years it will be…

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          “Voice over exposition is not yet un-cliche, but in 30 years it will be…”

          I really liked that movie, but I wish the voice over would let US figure out what was going on. Everything he told us was shown to us later in the movie anyway. I wish they hadn’t used that exposition.

  • MER

    This has been my favorite episode. I enjoyed the others, but episodes could get a little boring to be honest. Something about this one just seemed different. Great movie picks, great commentary from the hosts and I vote Gillian stay on with you guys. She’s awesome!

  • Brad Smoley

    BREAKING NEWS: Jessimike Shippers Infuriated by Creation of Jayllian Super Couple

  • El_Runko

    FUCK YEAH GILLIAN! Finally!
    I know I left a comment just the other day where I suggested you use her on BotW and there’s no way that influenced your having her own BUT IM STILL TAKING CREDIT YOU DOUCHENUGGETS

  • Annabelle

    Is this video loading super-duper slow for anyone else? It seems like Blip is fucked but nobody else is complaining.

    • ident

      loads fine.

      • Annabelle

        Thanks that’s really helpful.

        • Matias Rivero

          Don’t worry it’s loading slow for me too.

        • Jordan

          Firefox + Adblock Plus is working like a charm for me.

        • ident

          I live to serve.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        You have a fine load?

    • decora

      i have to close all other programs and windows to watch. also sometimes fullscreen helps. and sometimes a diff. browser. and of course they usually republish vids on youtube in a few days.

  • Mark Bisone

    I confess I masturbated during the pudding-eating scene — but slowly and stoically, with a look of portentous dignity set upon my face.

    • Joe Syxpac

      You have more puddin’ passion than I, my friend.

    • Cameron Vale

      There’s a clear separation between a normal man, and what Bisone has become.

      • Percy Gryce

        You mean, Dr. Bisone is an ascended master who has evolved beyond the bounds of mere humanity, right?

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          He’s basically a god, now.

          No, seriously, we talk about him in my philosophy of religion class.

  • moonwatcher

    Great job y’all, that was the funniest episode yet! Entertaining stuff

    • Dingus

      Was going to say the same. Honestly the best episode. The ending was the best one yet. Rich Evans’ voice made me have to take a puff of my asthma medication I was laughing too much.

    • Bob Robertson

      I think this was the best episode so far as well. Gillian fits in well with you guys, I’d like to see her in more of these.

  • instant relief

    This episode just didn’t do it for me. :S

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Really?

      I jerked it like 32 times in this episode alone.

  • Severus Snape

    Ugh… women just arent funny!

    • ident

      What are you talking about? That dancing naked chick was hilarious.

    • SUPERSOUP

      You are a hideous woman and your voice is like sandpaper on the raw flesh of my soul

    • John

      They’re called “holes” in the radio world.

      Mainly because jokes fall into them and disappear.

  • El_Runko

    23:26 the return of the Jessi laugh!
    Oh how I’ve waited.

  • ident

    Depressed. And fucking old.

    • Cameron Vale

      There are many ways of viewing movies in the comfort of your living room for a reasonable price, even movies that haven’t been in theatres for decades; it’s been that way since the early 80s. When were you a teenager?

      • stoopsmcoops

        Valid.

      • ident

        It’s jokes, buddy. Calm down.

        • Cameron Vale

          It’s the future of electronics!

  • ChazzaH

    Wow. Best of The Worst often has a mixture of discomfort and laughs, but I think with these movies the discomfort won out.

  • Percy Gryce

    What’s a “Blockbuster”?

    • sepiajack

      That sign should read: “FUUUUUCCCCKKK YOOOOUUU NETFLIX!”

      • Percy Gryce

        • derp

          Yay for job elimination. The more the better I think. This is of course progress.

          • Percy Gryce

            Did you get laid off from the whale-oil-rendering plant or the buggy-whip factory?

          • Mark Bisone

            I think maybe she was a bank teller laid off by an ATM. It’s a structural problem, don’t you know?

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Yeah, I mean slavery was really good for the economy. RIGHT?!

          • http://www.scream-movie.net/ Charles Petrosky

            Those red machines don’t stock and maintain themselves…

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        “Half in the Baaaaaaag: Fuck Netflix!”

    • Now I Get It

      That’s “Blogbuster.” And we’re it.

  • Caducaus

    And I commented before watching the rest of the video…thank you Rich Evans

  • D’Avid Murphy

    Rich is starting to look like a skinny Riker with the beard and all.

    • Percy Gryce

      You mean Jay?

      • D’Avid Murphy

        naturally.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        That’s right, Rich!

  • catnep

    The great Rich Evans is not a gofer! I don’t care how many charming redheads you add to the show.

    • Devil_Dinosaur

      I had to wonder how they decide who gets to sit at the table and talk about the movies, as they’re obviously all still there.

      • catnep

        Hmm. A wheel o’ the worst-type game involving beer chasers? Rich’s demotion could mean he passed out first.

  • Alexandria Sanders

    Why did this end so abruptly?!

  • marneteen

    How can you guys and gals make such a horrible seeming experience (aka: watching these three movies) look like the best thing ever?

  • Pacmanman

    Between this episode and the last one, I think you guys are perfecting the BotW formula. Jay and Gillian are adorable.

  • darius_sinclair

    hey, I watched that Children At Play Movie. Very stupid. lol. When they kill/slaughter the kids, it actually very funny.

  • Devil_Dinosaur

    I have this site on the whitelist, as Red Letter Media depends on advertising, and Blip STILL tells me they can’t play ads sometimes. Fuck Blip. Seriously.

    • Devil_Dinosaur

      By the way, “whitelist” refers to sites you allow to show ads despite your having AdBlockPlus, for those who actually allow Youtube to make you watch ads.

      • sepiajack

        Oh so its not just a list of things that are white?
        -blank piece of printer paper
        -snow

        -polar bear
        -Rich Evans
        -milk
        -hotel towel

        • Cameron Vale

          Why don’t you have this site on the whitelist?

          • Mark Bisone

            A better question would be, “Why don’t you have this site on the deathlist?”

            Also, where is deathlist?

        • Mark Bisone

          The third item on your list is so wonderful, when I showed it to my wife she grew a second pair of tits.

          Meesir now owbes yoosir a life debbit.

          • Percy Gryce

            Polar bear?

          • Mark Bisone

          • Percy Gryce

          • sepiajack

            It’s a gift, what can I say!

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          -The KKK

  • Bahareh Khosravi

    they were obviously trying to ride the coattails of the crazy fat ethel mania that swept the nation

  • Billy_Whizz

    I shall save this Best of the Worst until I can have a nice, proper sit down relax with a cup of tea.

    • The Summer of George

      Yeah. I like watching these on the toilet too.

  • catnep

    I thought this was a Larry King biography! No offense to Larry King or biographies…

  • wikiality

    Oh. I get it. This episode is

    right? I mean. I’m pretty sure. Of course I thought that before I watched it but I gave it the benefit of the doubt, hoped it would be decent if not good. Love and tolerance and whatnot. This was painful to watch and I wanted to turn it off at many points. I mean I think I’m glad I didn’t or I wouldn’t be able to hear that excellent list of pornos but that doesn’t make up for much. Did someone die of leukemia and RLM just felt the crushing web 2.5 obligation to generate content so they begrudgingly made and posted this? I could almost understand that. Cuse it’s good to show contempt for your audience, right? If the comment section depresses or pisses you off enough to be compelled to switch content focus in retaliation, then you have to force yourself to stop reading them. Either live in a symbiotic relationship with your fans or generate content for yourselves but you can’t be in an abusive codependent relationship with your viewers. You’ll eventually say “fuck it” and pull the plug on the whole thing.

    Oh and Gillian…(why did I learn your name?)…”psycho..that’s about. me..I understand things only psychos do!” You wish. You wish you were psycho.

  • Heart Strings Operation

    Jay doesn’t have a beer belly; he’s just pregnant with Mike’s child.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Mike’s child WOULD be a beer belly.

  • BunnyFooFoo

    This episode was so awesome I fell out of my tree stand

    • Liz Frazier

      I want my “Tree Stand Safety!”

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Sounds like you need to watch an instructional safety video about this.

  • Sébastien St-Pierre Robert

    The air is so dense, there’s so many things going on <3

    • Jean-François Martel

      When are we going to see fanart and slash fiction!? I need a Coffee shop AU!

  • Herrerasaurus

    That hot red head is such a cock-tease.
    Always getting close to the one lonely, miserable guy and then in an instant stops and leans on the other..
    So many boners, so much tease.

    • SUPERSOUP

      I think she’s just having a good time.

      • Herrerasaurus

        Of course She is..

  • Midlander

    A new Best of the Worst? Featuring Gillian Bellinger? This is the greatest day of my life!

  • Mark Bisone

    Breathing in… Breathing Out…

    Oxgenating our womb space.

    • SUPERSOUP

      And a new meme was born that day.

      • sepiajack

        Seems like that other guy trying to start the meme like a letter of concern to Jay & Mike has finally given up.

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          He who shall not be memed.

          • sepiajack

            The last I remember seeing him was when I accused him of being Garret from Gorilla Interrupted. it was a shot in the dark, but maybe it was true??

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            I’m going to buy those movies from Rad Ladder Medea one of these days.

    • Robby

      Brilliant.

    • sepiajack

      It’s weird, because of the shadow it makes it seem like those Spider guy photos are from night time.

      Amazing connection you’ve made to the dance of birth

    • Ben Burger
      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        That’s great.

      • sepiajack

        Holy shit I actually just spit out my morning coffee watching that.

        You should email to Jay&Mike, that’s worthy of hosting on the main page

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          I agree! :D

      • catnep

        Priceless.

      • Mark Bisone

        And you, in turn, have inspired me.

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9g2pFOXYNU

        • sepiajack

          Amazing

        • Ben Burger

          LOL, that was great!

        • catnep

          So wrong it’s right. Well done!

        • Percy Gryce

          That was the turducken of genre-busting fan-art meta-commentary mash-ups.

          Well done! I like my bird well done.

  • Derrick Carey

    The girl in the bar scene from Psycho from Texas is Linnea “Return of the Living Dead” Quigley and this scene was filmed way after the fact. It was not a part of the original film at all.

  • dollar store cashier wife

    So does Gillan being back means that one girl who played the slut cop in Troll 2 review will be back as well? hoorayyyyyyyyy

    • Meester Smeeth

      Lora Story! Aww, I love her. She was excellent in The Great Space Jam, such a moving performance.

      • TapewormBike

        She gonna tittyfuck yo ass!

        • Meester Smeeth

          I wish!

          • Cameron Vale

            They make it seem so glamorous in the romance novels.

      • sepiajack

        “Some men think these things are attractive! I DON’T KNOW WHY!!!???”

        Yeah she’s hilarious in TGSJ

        • Meester Smeeth

          Yeah, I love how she just witters on and on and on.

  • Simon Lundmark

    This was great. Easily my favourite episode since the one with The Evil Eye (?).

    It’s obviously mostly down to how fun the movies are, but I think you struck a good balance with the “panel” this time, too.

  • SUPERSOUP

    15:02

    The point at which Jay’s chance of getting laid that night disappeared.

    • Cameron Vale

      Because, as we all know, the personalities of attractive people are held to very exacting standards.

      • SUPERSOUP

        AND THE CHILDREN, TOO

        X Weird, creepy comments

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      People aren’t into murdering children anymore? Drats!

    • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

      I disagree… I think that close up on Gillian’s face as he says that is her thinking “god I’ve never been more turned on… let’s go kill children together like those teens in Toxic Avenger.”

  • Mark Bisone

    As wonderful as it was to see Gillian back in action, I was sad to hear her call Jay’s majestic midsection a “Milwaukee beer belly”. Everyone knows it’s called a “Cream City Six Pack”.

    (And by everyone, I mean me and Ed Hunt).

    • stoopsmcoops

      Cream City Six Pack — A Nick Millard-Phillips Film

  • Percy Gryce

    I was a little surprised that Jay didn’t mention Village of the Damned (1960) as the original weirdo, murdering kids get their bloody comeuppance movie.

  • Percy Gryce

    So you’re saying you don’t dream about Rich? Weird.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      I dream about Poor.

      HAHAHAHAHA… haha… ha… No?

  • sepiajack

    No, the only true super couple is: Rich Evans.

    • Cameron Vale

      He’s the true dirty pair.

      • sepiajack

        Of all the possible responses in the english language, you picked the absolute best one.

    • Mark Bisone

      One of these days, I’d like to see him paired up with his evil nemesis: Evan Riches.

      https://twitter.com/EvanRiches

      Quote: “looking for any type of work in the adult industry, im in Southern California and appreciate opportunity. DM me if interested RT :}”

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        “looking for a girlfriend, work, and a new laptop. anyone want to help out?”

        Yes, throw your desperation onto Twitter for all of us to see, Evan Riches. :D

  • sepiajack

    Also Jack killed it in this episode, his reactions were amazing.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      You’re biased because his name is ‘Jack’.

      • sepiajack

        Hahaha, I didn’t even think of that, Jack is not my actual name.

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          My middle name isn’t actually ‘Taco’.

          The world is full of lies.

          Hey, that almost sounds like a 007 movie title name.

          • Cameron Vale

            My name is just my favorite character from Scanners.

          • Now I Get It

            Mine names my best moment in life, in opposition to my avatar, which pictures my worst.

  • sepiajack

    Seeing the entire RLM team including Gillian sitting in the viewing room seemed like some sort of ultra awesome Avengers assemble type moment, I was wondering if it would lead to some sort of ultimate 8 person panel! We need definitely Jessie on the next panel though!

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      “I was wondering if it would lead to some sort of ultimate 8 person…”

      This sentence didn’t end how I thought it was going to end.

      • sepiajack

        Sex weirdo

        ;P

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          Should I try to had this fact?

          • sepiajack

            No, embrace it, Rich Evans style.

          • catnep

            Confused! I can’t figure out if this campaign poster for masturbation is pro or con…

          • sepiajack

            Rich Evans is always pro, especially at masturbating

          • Now I Get It

            Neither. It’s educational, because in this world you hear a lot of Things.
            http://ts3.mm.bing.net/th?id=H.4694524944844606&pid=1.7

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Apparently my brain thinks ‘had’ is the same as ‘hide’.

            I need my brain medicine…

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          It’s only after watching this episode that I get this reference.

          I’m not lying, I’ve never heard of those other films before…

  • sepiajack

    Perfection!

  • decora

    “to somebody somewhere, this is a porno”

    –(stops furiously masturbating)

  • El_Runko

    33:26 the return of the Jessi laugh!
    Oh how I’ve waited.

    • sepiajack

      Jessi is awesome, she feels pretty integral to the Best of the Worst panel, hope she’s back soon.

  • sepiajack

    Yeah that was probably my favorite moment too, it certainly was a bold and wonderful beginning to the addition of Breaking News from Rich Evans element!

  • Guest

    Indeed

  • sepiajack

    indeed

  • sepiajack

    I just checked Amazon for ‘the Slut’ but sadly they don’t have it, they do have Sappho ’68 though…

  • valou999

    I warned you guys about Crazy Fat Ethel 2! xD The first one, Criminally Insane, stands a lot better than this one in the sense that it actually has a coherent storyline and better pacing. But if you want more in the style of CFE2 (and by that I mean mind-numbingly long scenes of nothing happening or more stock footage from Criminally Insane) than look for Death Nurse 1 and 2 by the same creators and starring once again Priscilla Alden…

    • sepiajack

      It’s pretty amazing that they ended up with 2 movies this panel that both suffered from extreme padding of their running time.

      Crazy Fat Ethel 2 is that rare special “movie” that’s 1 hour long, but feels 6

    • Now I Get It
  • milky_cereal

    Need more Gillian. She should be in every RLM feature.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    For I moment, I drank cum…

  • Andrew Biggs

    She’s fucking AWESOME! Best special guest.

  • DarthRandal

    Goddam, Jay. You are one slick, lucky motherfucker.

    • ident

      How do you know the viscosity of his skin? And who told you of our plans for the God Dam!?

  • John

    Gillian wants Jay’s D.

    She wants the D Jay.

    She wants the D.

    • maggit

      That’s right, Jay!

  • Percy Gryce

    Maybe on this board, we should be like the Tamarians from ST:TNG and only say shit like “Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra” or in RLMese:

    “Mike and Jay at Plinkett’s house.”
    “Mike and Jay on the street.”
    “Plinkett, his VCR broken.”
    “Lightening Fast VCR with the hipsters.”
    “Mike and Jay and the undercover hookers.”
    “Mike Spidewski with the bullets in his chest.”

    • sepiajack

      I love it! That’s actually my favorite Star Trek… well anything actually. Love that episode.

    • Cameron Vale

      “The face that is wrong.”
      “Yoda with the lightsaber.”
      “Plinkett, his cat fucked.”

    • http://www.sunnystrangers.blogspot.com/ Bryan M. White

      Rich Evans, his mouth wide.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      How does one pronounce “ST:TNG”?

      • Percy Gryce

        Snikt!

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          Mike Wasowsklaska: King of Oral Sound Effects

  • El_Runko

    That’s not Moby, that’s Jack Packard. He’s a film maker and a long-time friend and collaborator of the Red Letter Media crew.

    Oh wait… you were doing, like, a thing? Oh I get it.

  • JoePhillips

    WOW! I loved Gillian. wow she really really made this video for me. she was so hilarious! she was almost funnier than the other guys.
    I honestly wish she became a regular, I wish she did the other best of the worst. She was just really funny and I loved her jokes. I really enjoyed this one, everyone was really funny and the movies were so awful it made everything so much funnier.

    But really, Gillian made this for me, I would hope to see her again.

  • bb-15

    I saw the episode again and I had just as much fun as I did the first time.
    Again to the RLM gang, you did a great job.

  • sepiajack

    Just don’t go on about how you love seeing kids get murdered and you’ll be golden.

  • John Tibbetts

    I’m sorry to say, but in my opinion, this is the second “Best of the Worst” dud in a row. It’s also the second time in a row a special guest has been featured.

    • sepiajack

      You think this one’s a flop?

      • stoopsmcoops

        I remember this, but what episode is this from?

        • sepiajack

          The wolverine Half in the Bag, Mike says something about, “what is the japanese gang… yamoto… yahiro…”

    • Liz Frazier

      Really? I think this one was funny in its own right and last week’s episode shot right to the top of my list of BOTW favorites (I didn’t think anything would beat out the “Miami Connection” episode).

    • SegerRos
    • ident

      Please elaborate.

      • John Tibbetts

        The last two episodes just haven’t been “Funny” to me. That’s a completely subjective thing though, so I don’t expect everyone (or anyone) to agree with me. I’m blaming the lack of Wizard/Jessie and the inclusion of guests.

        • ident

          Is it something specific about the guests you don’t like or is there something specific about Josh and Jessie that is missing?

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      I was going to down vote you, but I just feel kinda bad that you didn’t enjoy the episode, so I’m taking pity and not down voting.

      YOU’RE FUCKING LUCKY I DIDN’T DESTROY YOUR ASS!!!!1!!11111!

      • John Tibbetts

        It’s ok that you like it and I don’t. Not everybody likes everything.

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          So there are some people that like everything?

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          “YOU’RE FUCKING LUCKY I DIDN’T DESTROY YOUR ASS!!!!1!!11111!”

          I’m sorry if this came off as being a little rape-y…

  • Paul Woodcock

    I thought Rich was the eye candy? Well each to their own I guess.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      I loved when she kept running in to report the news. Not sure how she ‘jerked off’, though. I feel I may be missing something…

  • Cameron Vale

    It’s a Jayllian invasion!

  • Jordan

    haha. I saw that episode of HiTB the same way.

  • Jordan

    This episode truly was the best of the worst.

  • Cameron Vale

    I can’t decide what Confessions Of A Dirty Pair could possibly be. Keeping in mind that it’s from 1967.

    • sepiajack

      I’m thinking maybe the dirty pair are bweebs? Like in Carrie, her ‘dirty pillows’.

      But it could also be a pair of ‘dirty’ people. Yeah I dunno

      • Cameron Vale

        It’s possible that my assumption that it’s a play on words,obscure slang, etc. is wrong, and the name is literal or nonsensical or something.

        • ident

          By the titles I just heard, Millard is not exactly a wordsmith. Language is just a frustrating delay between nude scenes.

  • Billy_Whizz

    Yes, but on the plus side, they made it so that I stopped being so lazy and finally registered on Disqus.

    • ident

      And the world rejoiced as another voice joins the chorus of unendurable ululations.

  • TapewormBike

    The girl was really hot, but the sleazy scene and the way it’s shot would make any boner crawl inside.

  • TapewormBike

    So far I loved all the ways they disposed off the tapes, but this one is definitely my favourite. Rich should get some sort of award.

    • ident

      Just make him a macaroni sculpture and send it to him. Be sure to glue a magnet on the back so he can hang it on his fridge.

  • Liz Frazier

    I thought I’d get a head start on this:

    PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW “GRAVITY” ON HALF IN THE BAG!!! PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW “GRAVITY” ON HALF IN THE BAG!!! PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW “GRAVITY” ON HALF IN THE BAG!!! PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW “GRAVITY” ON HALF IN THE BAG!!!

    Annoying? Yes. Effective: I can only hope.

    • Anthony Stalder

      Are you a question-answerer? Yes, you are.
      Is it incredibly obnxious? Well, yes it is!

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Gravity, it’s what keeps us together…

  • dirk beefhammer

    Oh god I’m going to have nightmares about RIch Evans masturbating

    • ident

      The rest of world calls those wet dreams.

  • Real Quantum

    Just watched this for the second time…
    This episode was like the others: really funny :D

  • Muzzy Muzzberg

    The Slut bwahahahahaha

  • Rich Wisneski

    Aw, look at Jay’s beard. Did the hipsters get to you?

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Only hipsters have beards.

      • Rich Wisneski

        1. Yes.
        2. The Shirt.

  • supercrotchinator

    One of the best yet, and I love Gillian on the show – she’s great! Also, the “breaking news” segments were pure genius. Keep up the great work, guys.

  • milky_cereal

    The question is, which was which?

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      And the answer is yes.

  • SUPERSOUP

    I’m a socialist and I oppose Obama in the strongest terms possible.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      That turns me on.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      By ‘terms’ do you mean 2009-2013 and 2013-2017?

      • Now I Get It
      • SUPERSOUP

        I mean he’s an international criminal and imperialist stooge who should be tried and imprisoned.

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          But, but, but… I VOTED for him.

          Not really, but I might have if I were American.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Its magnetic tape was practically hanging out!

  • doom

    My life is empty because I do not have a group of friends to hang out with and watch shitty movies.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Something something feels profile pic.

    • Ricky

      It’s ok dude, I’d be your friend to watch shitty movies if it weren’t because of the distance and the bad smell. I have the stench of too much sex.

    • SomeoneElseTookDude

      Now you have RLM, they’ll never judge u

    • decora

      that is why BOTW is great. it reminds us of the good times.

      • stoopsmcoops

        It reminds me of the good times I’ve never had.

  • stoopsmcoops

    Dude it’s 2013. Ship Mike-Jay-Gillian.

    • Cameron Vale

      If these shippers had their way, everyone who’s ever appeared on camera for RLM would be dancing around the Jaypole.

  • Cameron Vale

    All of the homo!

  • Johnny Two Melons

    Actually I only have one melon but a few years ago I said I was thinking of getting another one and since then some people have called me two melons…

    • Cameron Vale

      I expect you’re probably thinking of selling one… then you’d be Johnny No Melons.

      • Real Quantum

        Make yourself scarce, Two Melons, this comments section isn’t big enough for the four of us.

  • Johnny Two Melons

    Sorry but I’m not on the Gillian bandwagon. She’s too perky and I hate that!

    • ident

      I think Johnny Two Melons may be more concerned that she is not “perky” enough.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      ‘Gillian bandwagon”? What the fuck are you talking about?

  • Reggie_Rock

    The Cinema Snob did it better.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Who?

  • Cameron Vale

    If they can get the lawn dancing guy working… because he’s a funnier character than they’ve ever had in these movies before.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      It’s gonna be great.

  • Alexa

    They should review some of those movies they listed…I vote for Confessions of a Dirty Pair, just to see what the hell its truly about.

    • sepiajack

      Agreed, I’m going to start hunting for more Nick Millard ‘classic’ ‘movies’ to send in.

    • ident

      I thought they made it clear it was about pears.

  • BigMcLargeHuge

    Too many hot redheads!

    • sepiajack

      That’s a paradox! You can’t have the words ‘too many’ in the same sentence as ‘hot redheads’

      • ident

        “Hot redheads have gone too many days without sepiajack’s love.”

        • sepiajack

          Touche!

          • Cameron Vale

            “Too many hot redheads have never experienced sepiajack’s love.” They’re right next to each other in that one.

          • Jay Stein

            Douche’!

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          You win.

  • Alexandria Sanders

    dance goddamn it!

  • sepiajack

    Filing your womb space…

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Defiling your womb space.

  • ShakingMyHead

    6:10 reminds me of the RLM studio.

  • sepiajack

    I think it’s adapted from quote of Gillian from Plinkett’s phantom menace review when she talks about Han Solo.

  • sepiajack

    Yeah it is it is an amazing phrase. Gibberish as poetry!

    Because it rhythms… ah you guys know the drill

  • Now I Get It

    Jezus, doesn’t anyone masturbate compassionately anymore? After all it’s done for you.

  • Jean-François Martel

    Rich Evans is way too much into this for my liking.

  • El_Runko

    YES BUT DONT TELL ANYONE

    • Real Quantum

      Blimey, you’re right.
      Someone might actually take me seriously.

  • winzentween

    this had some of the best best of the worse moments lol i love not having to watch these films but watching them laugh at them so i can enjoy vicariously and not suffer the misery that is their full running times :?

  • Wildo

    Wow Gillian is all over Jay’s shit. That’s nice.

    • Wildo

      I love how she “falls” onto his lap.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    In case anyone didn’t notice, listen to Jay’s laugh at 26:50…

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Wait, I didn’t know Rich Evans could run.

    • ident

      He made the Kessel Run in 12 feet.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        I just laughed WAY too hard at this. Thank you.

      • bb-15

        Very funny!!! ;-D

      • Jay Stein

        I’m going to call the RLM shuffle run, the “Kessel Run” from now on..

  • RC_cola

    I hate you, frank, and I hope you get botulism.

    • ident

      Why botulism?

      • TapewormBike

        Pepsi would’ve gone with AIDS, Coke with ebola. But he just isn’t quite either.

  • DickieAnderson

    Jessi’s laugh out of nowhere and Rich Evans wandering back into frame were the Best moments of this Worst episode. Not a fan of Gillian or the Yellow-shirted guy.

    • Wildo

      Yellow shirt man has a name yknow.
      One that I can’t seem to remember at this moment…

      • infernocanuck

        It’s Jack! I can remember it now because when I see him, especially with his new shaved head, he kinda bears a resemblance to “Jack, the Pumpkin King” from A Nightmare Before Christmas

        • sepiajack

          That’s right! I AM THE PUMPKIN KING!!!!!

    • sepiajack

      Gillian has a name yknow.
      It’s Gillian.

      Oh wait…

    • Paul Schumann

      Gillian was a good addition to the episode as a foil to Jay, much like Jessi is a foil to Mike. No comment on mr. yellow.

  • whip

    She never looked annoyed or unhappy in any way.

    Stop trying to stir shit up.

    • http://redlettermedia.com/ Mike Stoklasa

      I kinda noticed it when all the guys laugh at Gillian’s bad joke “Karate chop your face!” Check it out!…at your local library…

  • Wildo

    Um sir. Clearly he’s busy keeping the crack news team up to date with latest breaking stories of the day.

  • tjg92

    I laughed so hard I cried

    • ident

      You cried so hard, I laughed.

  • SUPERSOUP

    No.

  • SUPERSOUP

    It’s okay to indulge that fetish if you have it. It’s not okay to make a feature film and luridly splash your fetish all over it, making it uncomfortably clear to the audience that’s all it is. Some subtlety would have been nice.

  • ShakingMyHead

    Well, there’s a difference between watching gore and watching a borderline-legal [in the premise of the movie if not in fact] girl being stripped down and doused in beer by a creepy sombitch. It is a little unnerving.

    • sepiajack

      And I think it also has to do with what they said, it feels as though the entire movie was just an excuse for the director to shoot that scene for his own personal reasons.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        What’s wrong with that? That’s exactly the reason I’m trying to become a director! :D

        • Now I Get It

          That’s also exactly why Kevin Smith stopped trying to be a director: things got too personal for him. …No, wait: things never got personal for him. …No, wait: he’s just a lotta talk and a badge. …No, wait:…

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Is he the guy in the basement in A Good Day to Live Free or Die Harder with a Vengeance when invincible Bruce Willis and ‘Mac’ stop internet terrorists?!

          • Now I Get It

            Yeah, the guy in the double-d cup, using a herpes towel as a ball-gag? That’s him.

  • Cameron Vale

    What a surprise!

  • Joe Syxpac

    I think Jay lost some points with Gillian when he suggested that murdering children was the kind of payoff you want in these movies.

    She had a major WTF look on her face.

    • ident

      What are you talking about? That’s the clearest “come hither” look I’ve ever seen.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        I could basically see “orgasm” written all over her face.

        • Joe Syxpac

          I think you just want to see an orgasm on her face.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Would it be bad if I admitted to this?

          • Joe Syxpac

            It would be bad if you didn’t.

    • TapewormBike

      In any case,, that comment made me fall for him even more than before. Outta my way Gillian!

    • Jay Stein

      Go Jay! Just speak your mind..F**k everybody else…Some of the most hilarious deaths in movies involve Children, look at the movie “Prophecy” for instance. People are starting to forget that movies are “make believe”..

  • sepiajack

    Very true! They are like the alchemist of movies, they can turn anything into gold.

  • ident

    No one here knows what the strong nuclear force is. Go back to CERN, nerd!

    But, seriously, the Higgs is glad you’re okay.

  • ident

    It’s alright, honey. There’s enough Jay to go around.

  • ident

    The girl was hot, no doubt, but did the accompanying humiliation make it harder or softer? Did the repeated commands to dance make you squirm in delight or frustration? I hope we all learned something today.

  • littlemisspiss

    youre just jealous she gets to touch jay

  • ident

    I think you are looking for Roger Ebert. He died.

  • ident

    His deadpanned reactions were quite friendly and outgoing.

  • John Tibbetts

    Nope. She doesn’t. However, the fact that Gillian is not hot negates this is a possible topic.

  • Mister_Misinformed

    Could be wrong but to me it seemed like a big part of it was that the guys didn’t want to look like they were OK with watching that in front of Jessi and Gillian (even though their own character Plinkett is a whore torturer) and so had to pretend to be extra shocked and appalled.

    • decora

      the difference is that plinkett is a fictional character and they are making a movie when they do the plinkett scenes. being played by professional actors who in real life are nice people who have morals and a conscience.

      the psycho from texas was not so much fiction, it was very very likely a director using the trappings of a film as an excuse to hurt somebody.

      not sure why i should have to explain to this to anyone over the age of 10 but… yeah.

      • ident

        How likely? On a scale of 1 to 10.

      • Mister_Misinformed

        “the psycho from texas was not so much fiction, it was very very likely a director using the trappings of a film as an excuse to hurt somebody.”

        It wasn’t fiction but real-life torture? Did the director go to jail for splashing that poor actress (who made a living appearing naked on camera in dozens of B-movies like this) with a pitcher of beer?

  • decora

    the problem is that movies are supposed to be make believe, as in not real, as in fun and/or entertaining and/or interesting and/or dramatic.

    the scene in that film was not ‘make believe’, it was basically a director who had very likely manipulated some naive kid into being hurt and humiliated for his own personal gratification, most likely without her really understanding what was going on, in a scene that had absolutely nothing to do with the film itself, the story, or the artistic direction.

    its like the thing with Deep Throat. Linda Lovelace has basically said that film was a film of her being raped for real. its not fiction, its like something bad happening, and it being filmed.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    It is it just me?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I was going to mention that. They managed to take very bland and lame movies that surely would have sucked to sit through and watch and brought us one of their best episodes of BotW.

  • ident

    How to Stand on Trees? What kind of fucking movie is that? How big are these trees? Why would you want to stand on them? Is this some kind of South American sport?

  • ident

    Involuntary defecation at the sight of strings is a serious problem. Consult a physician.

    • Now I Get It

      As is voluntary defecation. So…PILLS FOR EVERYONE, YIPPEE!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I was confused, then realized your name is ‘alice’, which probably means you’re female, which probably means you’re jealous that Gillian seemed to have a thing for Jay, which probably means your found her annoying because you’re competitive, which is probably why you wrote this comment.

    Probably.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Probably.

  • ident

    Insult-o-ads. The new craze!

    • Jay Stein

      Carls Junior “Fuck you, I’m eating!”

  • decora

    its one thing to watch porn, its another thing to watch actual abuse. its not just the image itself, its how it was created. you think its PC but most people think its just empathetic. most people figure this out some time before adult hood. i.e. playing video games about war is fun, watching actual war footage is not fun.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You could comment as ‘Guest’? I didn’t know that… what a missed opprtuniry.

    Opportunity.

  • decora

    lol. “play”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Jay can be a sick man sometimes… it’s great!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    NEVER return to Middle-Earth, Viggeo!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Rich Evans is a girl? Fuck.

    Guess I gotta delete all those photos off my personal computer device…

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Where he gets irate from people taking away his pizza rolls and shrieks their soul away with his laughter?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Yeah, Rich Evans and that VHS cassette tape…

    “It’s so tense.”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    If they don’t keep her, does Plinkett tie her up and let her die or something?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You were born 3 days ago?

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “We were wrong. We were SO wrong…”

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Sometimes I’m impatient with writing my comments as well only to find out they cover it further along in the episode.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Pedophile? Nah, he just likes seeing them get killed.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    TalkTalkTV? Why am I getting advertisements for some British TV service?

    • Now I Get It

      Are you watching this fuckin’ thing again? Why can’t I hear it? Oh, right, it’s on your computer.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        I’ve never gotten Blip ads before until a few weeks ago. I’m not sure what changed. They’re quite annoying and aren’t really anything I’d be remotely interested in.

        • Now I Get It

          Oh, I was just playing the fool, as though because we were posting at the same time, I should be able to see and hear what’s on your screen.

          But, yes, those ads on my computer, too, although I’m lucky. Usually by the time I get to watch the reviews for the first time, the ads are much reduced.

          To be round about it, though, I have been experiencing some onsite weirdness lately, when I try to travel from Disqus to RLM or vice versa.

          Something’s. Going. On. I don’t. Know. What.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Did you end that comment in a Shatner voice?

          • Now I Get It

            Yes, but it was Shatner by Pollak, which, like the imitation crab that bears his name, is okay – if that’s all you can get.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Ed Hunt for Red October was the best of the worst puns.

    • Cameron Vale

      The Hunt for Ed October.

  • Mike Stoklasa

    “Some things on the Internet you can’t unsee”…such as the commercial for China, IL.

    • Paul Schumann

      err you wouldn’t consider using a clever alias and different picture now would you? I’m sure you’d get plenty of upvotes based on your clever comments alone rather than depending on your fake-Mike persona… :P

      • Percy Gryce

        Agreed. On many boards it’s a capital offense to impersonate the blogmeister or site owner.

  • Elling Moen

    How about a Best of the Worst: Nick Millard Special?

    • Strelnikov

      We need some of that “.357 Magnum” action….

  • sepiajack

    I rewatched her Half in the Bag episode yesterday, the black ninja/what’s your number one. Oddly enough the close up are always framed: ‘mike on his own’ or ‘Gillian with Jay’

  • bb-15

    This. The barmaid was 17 or 16 what that was filmed.
    The problem for the RLM people was seeing a girl, as Mike put it, stipped naked and humiliated down in front of the camera.

  • http://redlettermedia.com/ Mike Stoklasa

    Great, now review Quigly, starring Gary Busey as a talking dog…

  • putacorkinit

    *Now* I understand the genius of Rich Evans.

    • ident

      Like Saul, who was struck blind on the road to Damascus, I christen you “Paul”, for your eyes have been opened to His Light.

  • Percy Gryce

    Not as clever, though, if we have to explain it . . .

    • ident

      Referential humor is all about drawing a line between those who know it and those who don’t. Arguably, the best referential joke is one that a significant portion of the audience gets, and is made to feel clever, and the remaining don’t get, and are made to feel ignorant. In this case, a significant portion of the audience would get the joke, allowing a line to be drawn between the hardcore and the casual RLM viewers. Those who know it feel like they are a part of an elite. Those who don’t know that an elite exists.

      The above should not be construed as an actual opinion.

      • Cameron Vale

        Some people believe that this is the basis of all humor; in other words, a joke isn’t funny unless it excludes someone. That’s why kids are always looking for someone to pick on, and why dirty jokes are funnier. Who knows, maybe people enjoy Adam Sandler comedies BECAUSE they baffle and annoy people like Mike and Jay.

      • Percy Gryce

        I don’t get it.

  • Strelnikov

    I guess I have to put on my “Mr. Know-It-All” hat and talk about “Crazy Fat Ethel II”….

    [rolls eyes]

    There never was a “Crazy Fat Ethel I”; that was an alternate title for Nick Millard’s “Criminally Insane” (1975.) The reason why the cast is mostly old is because many of these people appeared in the original film and MILLARD DIDN’T WANT TO GET NEW TITLE CARDS. Swear to God, he was that cheap in the 1980s. The set is his house(!), which was also the set for some of his earlier films (an upstairs bedroom door still has three “bullet holes” from his 1970′s action flick “.357 Magnum.”) He also later videoed the two “Death Nurse” movies in that house with the Fat Ethel actress as the title character, and he has a long sequence of spooning ice cream into a bowl in one of those movies to match the dog food dishing in this “film.”

    Nick Millard started off in porno in the early 1960s (“Nudes on Credit”, “The Erotic Mr. Rose”) then he lurched into action and horror movies after 1972, and his output became erratic; “Crazy Fat Ethel II” was made after a ten-year vacation (probably forced) from moviemaking. And this was a guy who made TEN porno flicks in 1968!

    [I'd like to thank Brad Jones, aka "The Cinema Snob" for doing a review on this very film a few years ago which got me interested in the schlock cinema of N. Millard.]

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Are the pornos as good as Crazy Fat Ethel II?

      • Strelnikov

        Here is the trailer for his first film “Nudes on Credit” (1963): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-Iu_WXV1dw

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          Needs more of the blonde.

        • Joe Syxpac

          Actually, that looks brilliant.

          Now I gotta find it.

    • Strelnikov

      ….And yes, I wrote this before the “Psycho from Texas” segment with Rich Evans running in and out with screamingly-hot Nick Millard factoids.

    • ident

      Informative.

  • Stitchcat
    • omgnoway

      oh crap! I’ll have to see this now… I hope they cast Gabourey Sidibe and maybe they can have two Ethels. And they can fight for which one is crazier.

  • Percy Gryce

    Way ahead of you. PC2013 has been very busy.

    We’ve already inked sponsorship deals with Totino’s, Chunky’s Chicken, Real Value Hardware, and New Glarus Brewing Co.

    We’ve got special guest appearances scheduled by Shaun McKinnon, Dixie “Honey Grabowski” Jacobs, Tina Krause, and Rich Evans (not yet confirmed).

    And we’ve booked the Hyatt Regency Milwaukee for Friday, December 13, 2013, from 5-9 p.m.

    See you all there.

    • Now I Get It

      Don’t let Evans pull any diva shit on you. Get that signature.

  • Capt Jelico

    Gillian is like 100 times hotter

  • Cameron Vale

    So your least favorite lineup would be Wizard, Rich Evans, Jessi, and another Wizard (a visual effect made with greenscreens).

  • Meester Smeeth
  • Rasmus

    “Crazy Fat Ethel – I” was “Crimially Insane” from 1975. Not a good movie.

    • ident

      That was covered in the video.

  • swameleon

    I want to see Gillian naked sooooooo much

    • ident

      Good job. Now she will never come back. I hope you are happy.

  • Now I Get It

    From certain angles, yes, I can see that.

  • ident

    Where’s the irony?

  • ident

    Linnea Quigley (credited as “Barmaid”) was born on May 27 1958 and Psycho from Texas was released in 1975, which means she was, at most, 18 when filmed. Not knowing when the scene was filmed, it’s hard to say for sure whether she was 17 or 18. You also can’t rule out that she is claiming to be younger than she actually is. Not unusual on IMDB.

    Apparently she has had a great career in B movies beginning with this one. It looks like she may have dabbled in hardcore porn for a while, if Google Images is to be believed.

    • Jay Stein

      Not surprising that Quigley did some porn. Those were pretty steamy images! Have you seen Return of the Living Dead? She’s 90% nude throughout 90% of her screen time. She’s like always naked and was a little hottie! I was about 15 when ROTLD was released, hung around a lot of Punk Rockers and the movie was fairly accurate. I actually got laid back then…Now I long for Rich Evans…..:|

  • Mark Bisone
    • Percy Gryce

      A thing of beauty is a joy forever.

      So what the hell is this ruptured pustule?

    • Real Quantum

      you deserve props and respek for doing such a thing, which will put smiles on so many faces. :)
      Worked for me!

    • DanceK

      I hope you burn in hell for this.
      Because I will be there too, and then you can make another video that makes me come in my pants.

  • Percy Gryce

    At least it wasn’t:

    “Describe Jay Bauman.”
    “I don’t remember that character.”
    “He’s Mike’s sidekick–with the beard.”
    “. . . oh . . . yes . . . .”

  • Jay Stein

    Jessi looks annoyed fairly often…but look who shes hooked up with…

  • DeColonise

    Just so you guys know. There is a remake of Criminally Insane (Crazy Fath Ethel I) that is going to be named Crazy Fat Ethel and be out in 2014.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2186723/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I get rather tired of ads. However, I do enjoy the nostalgic feeling the song gives me [even though the song was released before I was born].

    • ident

      Good to know I’m not the only one nostalgic for experiences I never had.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        It’s the only thing that keeps me going…

        That and RLM.

  • Joe Syxpac

    No, no. It couldn’t be called “Crazy Fat Ethel 3″ because it’s a homage to Crazy Fat Ethel 2.

    It should be called “Psychotic Glutton” or something like that. It should have a lot more puddin’ scenes. An’ scooping scenes. An’ pretzel scenes. An’ more cooling fan noise.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      And in 3D!

      It’s gonna be great!

      • Joe Syxpac

        That’s gonna be great!

  • http://redlettermedia.com/ Mike Stoklasa

    Jessie > Gillian

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Jessie > Jessie

  • Billy_Whizz

    I get the impression that the people who keep leaving that comment are not getting any.

    Could be wrong though.

  • DanceK

    Aaaah got durt in maaaah aaaaah.
    I hear it over and over again…

  • DanceK

    “Aaaaav got durt in maaaaah aaaaaah…” I hear it in my head… over and over…

  • indischrot

    I’m a bit miffed that nobody talked about how Psycho From Texas ended. So there’s a weird bar scene and a very long chase. Does the guy get away? Does he get caught and killed??

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Did he died?

    • Heinzy

      They don’t want to spoil the ending for any potential viewers.

  • Percy Gryce

    If you see this at your birthday party, you have a Bagul problem.

    • ident

      Or a juggalo infestation.

    • DeColonise

      yeah and maybe someone that likes children a bit too much…

    • sepiajack

      That guy is Fuck!

    • Real Quantum

      scarier than linda blair with make up on.
      The exorcist make up.

    • http://redlettermedia.com/ Mike Stoklasa

      But he can’t say no…

      • StopThinkingBrainUrGoingToHurt

        Stop commenting and get back to not making Space Cop you hack!

    • swameleon

      That clown haunts me in my sleep now!

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Scariest thing in the movie.

  • bluebottle

    Now I will dream of Rich Evans running into my room with news updates.

  • Now I Get It

    Totally. Also: I don’t know who these down-voting wangs are, but I’m up-voting your for your sheer “scholarship.”

    • Quonk II

      Huh, yeah interesting. Thanks for that. Maybe there are some “redlettermedia-purists” here who hate the fact that I even MENTIONED another site… or it’s the other way round: Some rabid Lupa fans who hate me for daring to compare their goddess to some nonentity. Well, not that I cared that much anyway…

      • Now I Get It

        Yeah, forget “maybe.” They walk and type among us. I’ve long said that any site is made by its creators, but the so-called community is made, post by post, out of what each user brings from home. Show and Tell.

        Some users bring one thing, some users bring something else, but it’s not like there’s ever been a plan. …Nor should there be.

        • Percy Gryce

          I had never heard of Lupa before this thread. I just checked out her take on The Amazing Bulk in which she used a line that Jay has been using for years now: “A reference is not a joke.”

          Hmm?

          • Now I Get It

            Indeed, Lupa says that line a couple of times. The truth of it must be why Lorne Michaels nixed parody names for the anchors on SNL’s “Weekend Update” segments, and why I could never watch Kevin Smith’s “Clerks” cartoon, which seemed, to me, just a lot of name-dropping.

            But your “Hmm?” has warp-speeded its way over my head. There’s something questionable in Lupa’s “Bulk” review, which I just watched, or in my exchange with Quonk II that I’m not getting here.

      • Cameron Vale

        It most likely happened because it’s TGWTG, which is seen as weird and insular. It’s just one thumb down, anyway.

  • ident

    How so?

    • Now I Get It

      I’m sure “he” meant to say that “Women are everything…that matters.”

  • Memoman

    While I really appreciate your comedy style, it feels so long ago since we’ve had an intellectually fulfilling Half In The Bag review. When you couple your unique brand of humor with your clever and in depth analysis, that’s when this website really stands out as entertainment and education for people who love movies beyond any corporate affiliations.

    Reviewing The Wolverine was such a waste of an episode, and the grandness of Pacific Rim was misunderstood by Jay and, even though Mike seemed like he wanted to defend it, he just kinda didn’t. Maybe a bit too beat up by Hollywood to try and give a fuck. It’s understandable. Still, a squandered opportunity.

    The last good episodes I remember where the ones about Man Of Steel, Iron man 3, Star Trek Into Darkness and The Amazing Spiderman. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful as that alone is a lot of material. I just miss Half In The Bag.

    PS: Rich Evans as an invited guest critic, rather than as comic relief, is one of the greatest secret weapons you guys have.

    • ident

      I don’t understand. I find that “Best of the Worst” includes their unique brand of humor and in depth analysis in every episode. Is it that you just miss RLM talking about new movies or what am I missing?

      • Memoman

        Well, Half In The Bag is a much more focused conversation about current movies. They usually talk about such elements as the narrative structure, the plot, casting, acting, directing and editing decisions and also about trends and the current state of the movie industry. It’s essentially and very intelligent discussion by two (or three) very apt movie connaisseurs that amounts to basically a cinema class. To me, as a movie aficionado, it’s very fulfilling, and I’ve learned a lot from the Half In The Bag and Plinkett reviews.

        Best Of The Worst is fun, it’s meant as a light detour from the more demanding criticism, and since it’s made by the same very capable and clever folks, their knowledge is also imbued in the sarcastic mockery of the terrible films they subject themselves to. And it’s fun. They are very funny people.

        Like I said, I just miss the richness in knowledge that also comes along with the comedy in a Half In The Bag episode.

        • ident

          I see what you are talking about. I disagree that Best of the Worst is a light detour from HITB’s deeper analyses. Here is my theory: RLM has been channeling the same energy they used to create the classic in-depth HITB episodes, like Jack and Jill, into Best of the Worst and Space Cop. Where HITB went deep into the Hollywood labyrinth, BotW ponders what makes a movie entertaining.

    • Paul Schumann

      Don’t forget they have a lot going on behind the scenes with their projects. Doing a BotW is quick n dirty and doesn’t require any research or indepth analysis. They’ll get back to real reviews soon enough.

      • Memoman

        Oh, totally! I’m really grateful for all the quality material; and glad that they’re doing what they like.

  • ident

    Jay. The face of infanticide.

  • ident

    16 or 17 would not be legal. Traci Lords caused a recall of all her tapes when it was discovered she was under 18 when they were filmed. But, as I noted in another post, it is quite possible her IMDB is inaccurate.

    • Gerhard Van der Berg

      Traci Lords movies were XXX porn movies, and were taken of the market, the fact that this movie is not porn and has been re-issued a couple of times, means it has not run into legal troubles.

      Nowadays it would cause too much of a PR knock to shoot young actors in states of undress, but if I remember correctly from the Apt Pupil lawsuits, if you had parental consent and the actors themselves are willing then it is legal. However if you want that sort of scene in a movie, just hire an adult that looks younger than they are.

      • ident

        I read up on it and, to my understanding, the Apt Pupil lawsuit has to do with nudity on set, not nudity on screen. The fact that it is a lawsuit brought by parents and not charges brought by authorities also implies this is a different situation. Unless I have missed something.

  • Real Quantum

    She needs bariatric surgery

  • BartonAllenLewis

    I ship Jay & Gillian.

  • Real Quantum

    Are you a woman?

  • http://redlettermedia.com/ Mike Stoklasa

    Next they should review Quigley, starring Gary Busey as a talking dog…

  • Bacchus

    The list of movie names…just can’t help laughing along with the gang! Good to see Gillian back. Jessi looked a bit underwhelmed by the whole experience tho…

    • Jay Hurst

      She often does. Shame, when she’s into it, she’s hilarious. Watch the last BotW with the CGI guy and she looked so pissed off all the way through.

      Still love them all though.

  • MrChrisW

    This new Texan lady is pretty funny, you guys should keep her around for future videos.

    Also if you’re looking for a flick with killer kids who get splattered in the in “Who Can Kill A Child?” might be up your alley. It was remade recently as “Come Out And Play”.

  • Mike OConnell

    Put DragonStrike on Wheel of the Worst! It’s there on the VHS shelf at the beginning of this video!

  • Uncle Sporkums

    If you want to see a movie where police guards (and everyone else) are little kids, check out the 1986 police drama parody, Hawk Jones.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3JsU2_TsJw

    • http://redlettermedia.com/ Mike Stoklasa

      Sir, we all owe you a debt of gratitude for this.

      It’s so adorable!

      • Uncle Sporkums

        Thanks so much, Mike! It’s an honor to actually get such a positive reply from you! It’s available on DVD in a more violent version with digital blood squibs and muzzle flashes and explosions instead of cartoon word balloons “as originally intended”. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SidXqe99AxY

        • redletterjay

          The guy you’re responding to is not actually Mike. Sorry.

          • Uncle Sporkums

            Oops! Sorry ’bout that!

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            You’re like Uncle Porkums except you’re Uncle ‘Sporkums’.

            The ‘s’ stands for hope.

          • Percy Gryce

            When the Mod shows up I feel like a Vorta in the presence of a Changling: “Founder, it is an honor to have a god walk among us.”

          • Real Quantum

            So, is it true about you and Gillian?
            Kidding.

            Respect and kudos to you all, man :)

          • catnep

            That’s right, Jay!

          • ident

            Wait…so who have I been making out with?

        • Joe Syxpac

          I’m voting for Hawk Jones to be added to the Wheel of the Worst.

        • Gene Parmesan

          Ouch, heart-broken.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Why are you imitating that guy who drinks all the beer?

    • RC

      I was amused for the first half, but the “my ex-wife” line killed me. Would love to see this show up in a future episode. What a find.

      • Uncle Sporkums

        Same here!

  • Cameron Vale

    Hibbidy jibbity made this country great.

  • http://redlettermedia.com/ Mike Stoklasa

    Me too! I think i’m frigid now.

  • swameleon

    Not boobs but BEWBS

  • swameleon

    Bewbs

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    No, they mention a blonde in the trailer for “Nudes on Credit”.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    No wonder people complain about how long it takes for them to put up new material.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    But since you’re straight, Jay is on you?

  • Lorenzo Damian Garcia

    Hope this doesn’t make me a sex weirdo, but “Crazy Fat Ethel Two” is an anagram for “Wet Hot Fetal Crazy”.

    • Real Quantum

      Hahaha
      I don’t know what that makes you but, nevertheless, it was a brilliant comment :D

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      They “support the softening”… of penises.

      • Percy Gryce

        Maybe your best. You’re getting the hang of this.

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          “You’re getting the *hang* of this.”

          I see what you did there.

      • Cameron Vale

        If you rearrange the letters in “Crazy Fat Ethel Two” you get “Taco, free thy waltz.”

  • ident

    Spoilers!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Those hippies were onto something!

  • Paul Schumann

    rich evans interruptus

  • Mark Bisone

    Nobody gives a red rat fuck what you want, you homely transsexual.

  • http://www.facebook.com/devin.reynolds.758 Devin Reynolds

    If it hasn’t already happened, Jay REALLY needs to ask that girl out. I have a sneaking suspicion she’d say yes ;)

  • Conner Washingbeard McClain

    They’re doing a remake of Crazy Fat Ethel next October. It’s on imdb. I swear to God

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Sweet jesus never let this man back in the comment section, he KILLS the fucking humour with his bad critiques and general annoyance

    See, I did a ‘thing’. I, uh, pulled the ol’ switcheroo on you.

    • Mark Bisone

      I think that was technically a “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander” you pulled, but point well taken.

      See, I did a thing there. I pulled the ol’ pointlessly nitpicking asshole on you.

      • Percy Gryce

        Traditionally, back when people regularly ate geese, the saying was “What’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.”

        See, I did a thing there, ah, fuck it, you know the rest.

        • Mark Bisone

          The odds will be even.

          See I

  • Percy Gryce

    Gillian’s won the RLM superfecta: she was in the Phantom Menace review, Feeding Frenzy, the Black Ninja HITB, and this BOTW.

    She’s part of the gang. And, like the Terminator, she’ll be back.

  • CorbeauNoir

    Amazing, Mike’s ‘Ed Hunt for Red October’ was a prophetic announcement of Tom Clancy’s death

  • Milpool

    Breaking News with Rich Evans is my new favourite thing!

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Also, how do you know Jesus is sweet? Did you drink his blood and eat his flesh or something? Haha!

    Oh, wait…

  • Jay Hurst

    Mike’s usually so deadpan, it was amazing to see him break down like that.

  • ThomasHFoolery

    I get it. Because her pussy is a TACO.

  • Cole Christie

    Hmmm. . . .i need to go to Texas more often

  • Huntad

    Gillian is the best! :D Please be a regular!

  • Pebkio Nomare

    Best Of the Worst has long-since surplanted the Plinkett Reviews as my “Favorite Thing on RLM” ™. Too bad there’s only ten of the episodes that are really good.

    • Franklin Floratos

      “Supplanted”. But, then again, my understanding of grammar is evidently immaterial.

  • Patrick (CRYPTICUS)

    Not kidding:
    I know Jim Feazell (Director of “Psycho From Texas”) I was one of his
    son’s friends back in the ’90s. (He’s the kid who plays the young Wheeler!) We had several screening of the film, & yes, Jim knows it’s bad.
    You have no idea how surreal it is to see you guys discussing this film.

    Jim was a stuntman who got into directing briefly & I believe the film was edited without him, so take that for what it’s worth.
    Love the show!!

    PS – Gillian is adorable. Please have her back more often.

  • Nicholas

    I heard about a movie Penn Jillette & Adam Rifkin are crowdfunding which is supposed to include a creepy-dance-torture scene. My first thought was that they’d have to be pretty sadistic and perverted to top the scene from “Psycho From Texas”. I had to come back and watch this video to confirm… it’s even more disturbing than I remembered.

  • proghead777

    “Oh, I thought you meant like the fruit!”

    Confessions of a Dirty Pear. Nick Millard’s magnum opus.

  • Franklin Floratos

    I’m sorry. I don’t get it.

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  • diehounderdoggen

    Rewatching the Crazy Fat Ethel sequences of this episode after seeing Trash Humpers is a little uncanny and I’m interested in hearing what Jay thought about it. He’s come out and said he’s not a fan of intentionally bad movies (and let’s face it, Trash Humpers is just about as bad as it gets) but he also appears to be a fan of John Waters.

    Trash Humpers: ironic hipster bullshit or a seminal entry into the canon of the aesthetic of filth?

    • TapewormBike

      I really loved the way I hated that movie.

      • diehounderdoggen

        Somewhere around halfway through I asked myself “What the fuck am I doing?” And yet I was still engrossed.

  • Maverique

    Seriously though, where the hell did that clip of Rich furiously masturbating come from?

    • TapewormBike

      I guess they found one of the cameras I installed in his home.

      • Maverique

        Or one of mine.

  • stoopsmcoops

    Yes, but what I was remembering had not happened. So just forget about when I told you to remember nothing.

  • Waldente

    and the budget has been cut…

  • FearAndSlothing
    • The Willard

      Thirteen! Points for creativity here.

  • LoveSW_Prequels

    22:00
    how is Jay such an expert on amateur porno

    • Pissernacht

      Keep in mind that we learn of Jay’s erotica expertise only now that Gillian shows up…I doubt that’s a coincidence.

      Hmm. I wonder…

  • Baron Teapot

    Gillian is so lovely. Whoever edits this footage must have realized that she’s in love with Jay; the way she grins at him is just so adorable! I hope they get together, if they’re not already.

    • dollar store cashier wife

      well this epizode was edited by jay so…all aboard the otp ship!

  • Matthew Jette

    Whoooo Gillian kickin’ some ass!!! Like seeing the opinionated woman in there.

    • Veteran of the Psychic Wars

      She does kick some ass. They should try to bring her back.

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