101 Wacky Kid Jokes part 2

March 15, 2014532 Comments

This time, it’s personal.


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Filed in: General UpdatesVlogs

  • http://about.me/hexeno Hexeno

    Nomedy strikes back

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Episode V: The Nonmedy Strikes Back.

    • Mohamad Taufiq Morshidi

      “It’s so dense, every single joke has so many things going on”

      -RL Stine

  • Alex Walker

    It’s so dense, every single image has so many things going on

    • wierdaaron

      It’s like poetry… they rhyme.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Leave Rish alone. :(

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Dammit, my speesh impediment is showing.

  • Tomas Hedwyn Savage

    I was expecting Rich Evans to go on a murder spree at the end there, I guess you’re leaving that for Part 3.

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      Part 3 is the book burning ritual, I think.

  • ident

    So they’ve been wearing the same clothes for the last two weeks?

    • LelouchtheFilial

      I like how you’re surprised by this.

      • ident

        My childlike naivete is my most attractive quality.

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          Did your great-grandson tell you this?

          • ident

            No, it was the nice men who keep the ice cream hoses in the back of their van. I don’t know why they don’t just widen the hose so I don’t have to suck so hard, but it’s free so I can’t complain too much.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            I really dislike those guys. Their ice cream always seems to be melted by the time I get to it.

  • sepiajack

    That was great! Was not expecting a part 2
    It just needed the Plinkett voice going “continued in part twwwwwooooooo…”

  • sepiajack

    I wonder if the empty parts of the movie shelves are increasing as they destroy more ‘worst of the worst’ movies on ‘best of the worst’ or decreasing as people send them more terrible vhs tapes

    • Avery

      Little did we realize there have actually been hundreds of unaired Best of the Worst episodes… they’ve been doing this for us around the clock for months, and only airing the episodes where they were able to laugh…

      • sepiajack

        They had to give each and every ‘movie’ a fair trial, but not all of the trials were open to the public

      • Cameron Vale

        The Elves/ Santa Claus/ Christmas Vacation episode squeezed through on a technicality, the air was filled with copious amounts of nitrous oxide.

    • ident

      Depends if the light is blue shifting or red shifting.

    • Percy Gryce

      On my way to the emergency room this morning I stopped at the post office and sent them another box o’ treasure.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Must have been some emergency.

        • Percy Gryce

          Priorities, my good man, priorities.

      • WrongWithYourFace

        Was it your last will, in case you didn’t make it?

        • Percy Gryce

          Oh, God, I didn’t think about what if that was my last contribution to RLMdom! I think I made a respectable showing though. There’s something for everyone–actual genre movies, instructional videos, even something featuring the birds and the beads.

          • WrongWithYourFace

            Well, I’m glad it didn’t come to that. If it did, though, we’d make sure you got a proper tribute BoTW featuring your box o’ treasure.

  • phillysportsfan

    why is rich evans wearing a life jacket?

    • http://about.me/hexeno Hexeno

      He’s from the future

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        …OF SPAAAAAAAAAAACE!

  • LelouchtheFilial

    Yeesh… that “I don’t speak French” one made me un-laugh the hardest.
    I would have laughed more if the joke went more like…

    Bob: Boy, am I glad I wasn’t born in France.
    Maddie: Why?
    Bob: Because I don’t want Woody Allen molesting me.

    Or maybe…

    Bob: Boy, am I glad I wasn’t born in France.
    Maddie: Why?
    Bob: Well, Marie Antoinette shows that it’s hard to get a head.

    Or maybe…

    Tommy: Boy, am I glad I wasn’t born in France.
    Maddie: The fuck are you talking about, Tommy? You WERE born in France.
    Tommy: No, no, I am American just like you. You look so sexy today, Maddie. Oh, hi, Bob.

    Or maybe…

    Bob: Boy, am I glad I wasn’t born in France.
    Maddie: Did that Tommy guy seem… OFF to you?
    Bob: I SAID I’M GLAD I WASN’T BORN IN FRANCE, MADDIE!
    Maddie: Oh, Jesus Christ. Okay, why are you glad you weren’t born in France?
    Bob: Because they are cheese-eating surrender-monkeys who smell. The Nazi occupation of France was by FAR the greatest point in those wine-swilling, frog-leg scarfing bastards’ history.
    Maddie: Hahaha! HEIL HITLER!!!

    Yes, I’d rather the book outright condone Nazism than give the punchline that they did.

    Fuck. FUCK!!!

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      You Godwin’d your own argument.

      • LelouchtheFilial

        I’m usually not as careless about Godwin’ing myself.
        I’d reveal to people more often that I support a fascist dictatorship, but Mr. Plinkett tells me that’ll ruin my chances with the ladies.

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          Just carry their luggage. The positives outweigh the negatives.

    • Cameron Vale

      You don’t get it, the joke exposes the tautological absurdity that lies at the heart of the ethnocentric worldview.

  • blau

    I laughed and clapped at this. This was amazing!

  • TapewormBike

    I could very easily sit through this the third time.

  • Dixon Bawls

    Rich Evans crying may have just eclipsed Rich Evans laughing.

    • TapewormBike

      At the extremes, it is very hard to tell the difference.

    • Jean-François Martel

      i need it as a ringtone.

    • Striker, Ted

      “He’s gone away from us, Jay.”

      “Afraid you’re right, Mike, he’s gone.”

  • Ogrot

    101 wacky kid jokes made Rich Evans lose all his hair!

  • LelouchtheFilial

    I like how, even though Rich is the one who’s supposedly torturing Mike by reading him the jokes, it’s still Rich who bursts into tears in the end.
    He’ll never find happiness. Ever.

    • ident

      Rich has a borderline personality disorder. If they didn’t turn off the cameras, we could have seen the cutting, too.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        They even yelled ‘cut’ on the set just to hit it home.

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          Once they finished bandaging him… “What’s a wrap!”

          • LelouchtheFilial

            Rich’s stitches will tear open again on opening night.

          • LelouchtheFilial

            Rich’s stitches seems like something more fun to say than to type.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            If Jessi ever needs a new band name, Rich’s Stitches would work beautifully.

  • TapewormBike

    Anybody up for the stupidest joke you ever laughed at? Example:

    “Grandma, how far away is America?”
    “Shut up and swim!”

    (Me: he…..hehehehehehehe)

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      Guiltiest laugh I’ve had in awhile.

      • TapewormBike

        Vicar checking into a hotel:
        “The porn channel is disabled I hope?”
        receptionist:
        “No, it´s normal, you sick fuck!”

        • ident

          There’s no need to work blue. You’re better than that.

          • TapewormBike

            Let me reiterate then:)

          • ident

            I stand corrected.

          • Cameron Vale

            Does this count as blue?
            Q: What did the Asian couple name their black baby?
            A: Sum Ting Wong

          • ident

            No. I’m pretty sure I heard that one on Big Bang Theory, so all good.

  • Nem

    “Part Two”

    YES YESSSSSS

  • WrongWithYourFace

    I didn’t like this as much because it hurt my brain.

    • Jean-François Martel

      chklit wstd!!

  • Jason

    And now back to Care Boars.

  • Jean-François Martel

    !!!

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Comic Sans really gets me off, too.

  • El_Runko

    Mike looks like a low level Balkan gangster in that track suit.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I must vacate my bowels before watching in fear of blowing a hole through my pants, chair, and the Earth’s core.

    Then Aaron Eckhart and Hilary Swank must save us.

    • Jean-François Martel

      you dug far for that reference.

      • TapewormBike

        to the core

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        I knew someone would get it. :)

        • Jean-François Martel

          I actually didn’t even get the right reference. I was thinking about The Reaping even though Aaron Eckhart isn’t in it, because i’m a fucking idiot.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Well… at least it appeared like you got it. Haha!

    • WrongWithYourFace

      Can we see your reaction?

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Yor wish is my command.

        PS – RLM never ceases to amuse me.

        http://youtu.be/gx1zzpH-sbQ

        • TapewormBike

          Keeping your style as I see.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            What is said style?

          • TapewormBike

            Cap, smile and being Canadian.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            It’s like poetry, it rhymes… eh?

        • WrongWithYourFace

          I see the thought-provoking ending left a deep impression.

        • Charon

          So…you’re making videos about videos now?

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Now? The very first video on my channel is me reacting to a video and that was nearly a full year ago now [March 20th]. The majority of my videos are me making videos about videos.

            Hell, in one of my videos I’m reacting to someone who’s reacting to a video. If I go any deeper, I’ll be reacting to god himself, the almighty Rich Evans.

    • phillysportsfan

      do hats really sell better than t-shirts?

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Both.

        • ident

          It can’t be both and I have the distinct impression that you know it can’t be both. I see what this is…you’re a shill for the United Shirts Council and the Confederated Hatters. You’ve been collecting a paycheck from both sides this whole time and dreading the moment when someone finally called out your divided loyalties. Well, all is revealed, it seems. You sicken me, sir.

          • WrongWithYourFace
          • TapewormBike

            Seeing Taco as a gif on here is sort of a meta experience. His shirt says it all.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            It’s even more meta when you realize that WrongWithYourFace and I did the exact same thing separately from each other…

            That is honestly too fucking weird.

            http://i.minus.com/ibfO3o8OMPUgcF.gif

          • WrongWithYourFace

            http://i.minus.com/ib0iqXLW7i2DP6.gif

            That’s too fuckin’ amazing! The meta has no bounds!

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            As you can probably tell I GIFFed so hard just then…

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Yeah, but did you know that white ‘Las Vegas’ hats and white ‘NERDS RULE’ t-shrits are 30% off this whole weekend at Wall-Marts?

            WHAT A VALUE!

            http://i.minus.com/id1Js3NEnPj02.gif

  • Jean-François Martel

    I was so broken at the end i couldn’t understand the bicycle one i had to go back three times!? Why did i do that? What satisfaction did i expect to find?

  • Aksiomet

    What the fuck is Rich wearing?

    • dollar store cashier wife

      swag jacket.

    • sepiajack

      Marty McFly Halloween costume

    • Code_R

      Dork thinks he’s gonna drown!

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Rich doesn’t conform to your clothing styles, you misandric pig!

    • catnep

      You want one just like it?

  • Fartastic

    - I’m glad I wasn’t born in Wisconsin.[Pause] Because…
    - You don’t have to explain yourself, Sir.

    • Percy Gryce

      That’s not fair. Wisconsin is beautiful. In May. For one day.

      • ident

        That day is the 5th and the ground is littered with Dos Equis, Coronas, and tamale wrappers.

      • Showbiz Pizza Bear

        Between the hours of 1:00 and 4:00pm.

  • diehounderdoggen

    The video’s over, I’d better hurry up and jump off a bridge.

    “Why’s that?”

    Care Boars.

    • http://www.codeofthewild.com/ SeanJJordan

      I’ve often wondered if the Care Boars is one of RLM’s highest earners in terms of views since it’s next up on autoplay after every new video.

      • ident

        Oh…I never thought of that. It’s a good way to inflate views. Soon RLM will be shopping a Care Boars tv show on Adult Swim: “It’s a huge hit on blip! 20 million views!”

    • catnep

      It’s at the point I start humming the opening theme before it happens. Care Boars = permanent fork in brain.

    • barsidious5 .

      Q: What do you call a girl who wants to be a lawyer?

      A: Sue U.

  • Alex Lee

    It was at the end of this video that he became the Mona Rich, cause I couldn’t tell if he was laughing or crying.

  • http://www.according2robyn.blogspot.com/ According2Robyn

    What Is This Man Laughing At?
    The Rich Evans Story

    • TapewormBike

      Too soon? by Mike Stoklasa

      Descent into Madness by Jay Bauman

      This is Sucked by Jack Packard

      (Picture of Jessi looking disapprovingly at Mike, Rich and Jay) by Jessi Nakles

      • Dixon Bawls

        Bowling for T-Shirts
        by “Wizard”

        • TapewormBike

          Yes! Was hoping someone would do a Wizard one.

        • LelouchtheFilial

          The Hipster Neck-FEARED: A Comic Book Geek’s Guide to Becoming Batman
          by “Wizard”

      • LelouchtheFilial

        “The Nakles Now.”
        A Star Trek guide to sex, by Mike Stoklasa.

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          Introduction by Jay Bauman: You Get In and You Get Out.

          • ident

            Postface by Gillian Bellinger: “Like a Lady: Why Romantic Comedies are the Highest Form of Art”.

      • LelouchtheFilial

        By the way, I’m upset that I didn’t know Jessi’s last name.
        I’m not the RLM die-hard I thought I was.

        • TapewormBike
          • LelouchtheFilial

            It’s wonderfully geeky how this has the atmosphere of a rock concert, but the guy dancing up front is wearing a Green Lantern T-shirt.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL!

          • http://raptr.com/celozzip/wall celozzip

            so that’s what rich evans is laughing it.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Don’t Dance of Birth.

          • Charon

            This is some over-produced, cacophonous nonsense. That lead singer is pretty awful.

            Jesse, your band sucks.

          • TapewormBike

            It´s Jessi and I think it´s pretty fun song.

        • catnep

          Neither did I. But wouldn’t Jessi Nakles Stoklasa sound beautiful? ProtaGONist.

          • TapewormBike

            I hope Mike will propose via Plinkett Eats video.

          • catnep

            That would be wonderful! Greasy but wonderful. If you do wedding planning, you should give them your card!

      • Percy Gryce

        Don’t forget Jay’s follow-up: A Horrible Cash Grab: More Descent Into Madness.

      • Striker, Ted

        It’s the best movie David Lynch never made.

      • Domo_Konnichiwa

        Jessi’s book is “It’s a fucking donut shop.”

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      What Is This Man Laughing At?
      The Rich Evans Story

      What?

      • TapewormBike

        I think you see the matrix code pal. For us plugged in it looks like cursive.

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          I was gonna ask why it was green but I was too distracted by the lady in the red dress.

      • http://www.according2robyn.blogspot.com/ According2Robyn

        They took center away from us.

        THEY TOOK AWAY OUR CENTER!

        I suck at Internet.

  • http://www.codeofthewild.com/ SeanJJordan

    I guess Rich came down with Stockholm Syndrome there at the end.

    That, or 101 Wacky Kid Jokes is actually “The King in Yellow” being read backwards and he had a startling vision of the awakening of the elder gods and the end of the world.

  • Noah Roalson

    Jar Jar is the key to all this.

  • Buzz Mcfly

    Why in the hell do you guys have two copies of the Digimon movie on VHS?

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      You answered your own question when you said ‘Digimon movie’.

    • ident

      Gotta collect them all?

      • TapewormBike

        Multiple times apparently.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Idiot! That’s POKEMON!

        • WrongWithYourFace

          No, Pokemons have to be caught, not collected.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Awwww fuck, you’re right!

            “Gotta collect em allll,

            Tax-e-man!”

    • Noah Roalson

      One doesn’t not question the decisions made by our lords!

      • TapewormBike

        I have a feeling that we can understand you, but to the outside world you typed “tdrtdrtdrtdrtdrtdrtdrtdrtdrtdrtdr!!! “

        • Noah Roalson

          They have yet to see the light.

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          tdrtdrtdrtdrtdrtdrtdrtdrtdrtdrtdr!!! is the lullaby my mother used to sing me to put me to sleep.

          That might explain all the night terrors.

          • TapewormBike

            Chew(ie) it over.

    • Jean-François Martel

      Uhh, because it’s amazing!!

    • LukeMM95

      Because the RLM gang are secretly weeaboos and are setting us up for a Anime themed Best of the Worst.

    • Thanatos2k

      In case the first one gets damaged. DUH.

    • Paul Schumann

      There had better be a “kids cartoon” edition coming up soon.

  • Memoman

    You broke Rich! YOU MANIACS!!!

  • Eric Moreland

    Was Rich reading from the Necronomicon again?

  • Angelo Elauria

    When Mike looked into the camera, I thought they were about to do a House of Cards parody.

    • TapewormBike

      He´s doing it for the poweeer! (this is the most obscure reference I put on here to date)

      • TapewormBike

        Not sure why the Chungus guy´s comment is not showing here, but I can assure you sir (or madam) that it was Edward James Almost perfect. To other people, no, I am not having a stroke.

  • Dixon Uranus

    Why is Rich wearing a Marty McFly costume?

    • WrongWithYourFace

      It’s a Rich Evans costume now. See you in court, Marty.

      • LelouchtheFilial

        Maybe Michael J. Fox will show up to shake things up a little.

        …Too soon?

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          Back to the Future IV: The Case of the Shakies!

  • LukeMM95

    So it’s finally happened. Mike broke Rich Evans.

    • catnep

      Oh my gad.

  • anonymous123

    Weren’t you ever kids? These are funny to kids

    • TapewormBike

      Not sure about that. Farts are funny to kids too and the guys are not afraid to use that to amuse us, so the childishness is not completely lost in them. These jokes are written by someone who just thinks he knows what is funny to kids.

      (toot)

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        And then somebody toots…

    • LelouchtheFilial

      Did you see the last video where Rich said, “These are made for seven year-olds, you know. They’re not meant for you.”
      So, yeah, it’s been acknowledged that these are kids’ jokes. That doesn’t prevent them from being horribly unfunny.

    • WrongWithYourFace

      You said it yourself. Do the RLM folks look like kids to you? Well, except for Rich Evans, who’s like a beautiful baby.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        A beautiful birthday* boy, who we must dick.

        • ident

          Whom we must dick. We’re rapists, not savages.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Who/whom.

            Tomato/potato.

          • catnep

            Pervert/Prevert.

    • Percy Gryce

      Nah, I was born an old man. Here’s one of my baby pictures:

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Someone left you in the tub too long, mate.

      • catnep

        You were pickled from a very young age…

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    “This time, it’s personal.”

    Fuckin’ right, budday.

  • Alexandria Sanders

    When it started getting funny, it was a sign of the end.

  • Jeremy Davis

    What has 4 wheels and flies?

    • WrongWithYourFace

      DeLorean.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      “A car, I was just kidding about the flying part.”

    • catnep

      I’ll say an abandoned cheese factory.

    • LelouchtheFilial

      A garbage truck.
      That flies.

    • Like Icare

      A helicopter.

  • Jeremy Davis

    @ 6:20…. Rich Evans!!! That’s not a bald spot, it’s a solar panel for a sex machine.

  • nocussing

    mike bringing back that windbreaker tho

  • Uncle Sporkums

    The horror.. The horror..

    • ident

      Jovial Bob Stamper?

      • LelouchtheFilial

        Oh my… God…
        Get the president on the line.

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          He’s too busy watching the full 4th Season of Game of Thrones. He’ll get back to you later.

    • Uncle Sporkums

      Game Warden: Didn’t you see the sign that says “No Fishing”?
      Boy: I’m not fishing. I’m teaching these worms how to swim.

      • ident

        If you have this book, you need to Fed Ex it in. Immediately.

        • Uncle Sporkums

          I probably will, just to break these guys even more.

  • El_Runko

    Pitch perfect Martin Freeman impression by Mike @ 2:37

  • TapewormBike

    Sweet. Like the refreshing and tasty Jones Soda! Mmmmmm

    • Chungus

      Jones Soda? Yes please, mum!

      Much better than Monster Energy! Monster Energy can go to hell!

  • Percy Gryce

    I wish Jay had posted this earlier. I just spent the day in the emergency room with a kidney stone attack. I feel certain that had I heard Rich’s laughter earlier the stone would have dissipated.

    • TapewormBike

      Oh man, hope you are ok. (pssst, play it up, so the guys post Half in the Bag).

      • Percy Gryce

        Ahhh, ohhh, uhhh, the agony! I feel like I’m dying. The only thing that can soothe my pain would be more RLM content–and faster. Mike, Jay, grant a dying man this one last request . . . .

        (How’s that? I’ll live, by the way, this is about the 7th attack I’ve had in the last 20 years. With all the stents and cystoscopy and such, my urethra has seen more inbound traffic than the Holland Tunnel.)

        • TapewormBike

          Jay, Jay! This man is in pain a.k.a is waiting for RLM release! (And that is the ouchiest of all ouchy things I have ever heard).

          • Percy Gryce

            Oh, you ain’t heard the half of it. I didn’t even mention the time I had a blocked catheter and the little Vietnamese urology resident grabbed the exposed end, lubed it up, and then jacked it in and out to break up the clot. Thank the Maker, I was on heavy meds at the time. Speaking of which, my Percocet is kicking in right now, ahh . . . .

          • TapewormBike

            Were you describing David Cronenberg movie just then or…

          • Percy Gryce

            You got it exactly. It was like living through one of those stylized dystopia sci-fi tales. Without the style.

          • LelouchtheFilial

            And ALL the substance.
            Heheh… Sorry.

          • Dixon Bawls

            Too soon!

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            This is the perfect time to say, “OW, MY GROIN!”

          • Percy Gryce

            Exactly.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            Was the Vietnamese resident’s last name Nguyen? I might know the guy.

        • ident

          That’s a lot. Is it part of a condition or do you just hate consuming liquids?

          • Percy Gryce

            Good question. I do try to drink water, but it does seem to be a condition. Two years ago, I had a stone that was half an inch.

          • TapewormBike

            Jesus man

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            Are things going better now?

          • Percy Gryce

            I’m not dead yet.

            (Thanks for asking.)

    • WrongWithYourFace

      What about seeing him in pain and crying? Does it help or make it worse?

      • Percy Gryce

        Huh, what, yes. Don’t forget I had a shot of Dilaudid in the hospital and now I’ve popped a couple of Percocet, so I’m not sure what’s happening.

  • tjp77

    So… was Rich, like, going jetskiing right after this shoot?

    • ident

      He was going paddle boarding. They talk about in the Ghostbusters 2 commentary.

    • Rootfish

      He just jumped ship.

  • boodomi

    Ending was kinda shocking. Never seen Rich’s balding scalp before

    • ident

      Dude, not cool. He’s not balding, his scalp was burned in a lighting accident on the set of Gorilla Interrupted. He gets upset when we discuss it. Last time some asshole mentioned it he refused to work on HITB for 3 months. I just pray you haven’t fucked us all.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        He makes up for the hair loss when he turns into a gorilla.

      • Dasby

        obligatory lets rap fire safety reference.

      • Thanatos2k

        That must have been before Rich Evans got cool about fire safety.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I like the egg screaming in the frying pan.

  • ident

    They’re on a continuous loop in my Google Glass. Now I can enjoy life wherever I go. The erections are awkward, though.

  • Wasperheimer

    What is Rich Evans’ real first name? Filthy.

    Hey, it was that or one of the two dozen awful racist jokes I know.

    • ident

      I’m pretty sure it’s Dick.

    • Cameron Vale

      Filthy Evans? (Or does the “Rich” part stay in there for no reason?)

  • maggit

    You monsters.

  • Tabajaras

    So i still don’t get it, is a “turkey” a bad or a good movie?

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      I think it’s a country.

    • moleman124

      Turkey means bad movie… but the joke is(I think but really who the fuck knows).. even tho it was a shitter of a movie, he is an idiot because he watched it a 2nd time.

      • bb-15

        We have a winner!

      • Pa Kent Says Maybe

        No. The joke is that it’s hard to get through your second helping of turkey at Thanksgiving because you gorged during your first helping.

        That’s the joke. Not the kid being the turkey. Nor the movie. The turkey is the key.

        Humor 101. You’re welcome, knobs.

        • Cameron Vale

          I thought maybe it was a tryptophan joke.

        • ident

          Not getting the jokes just means you had a happy childhood and are a well-adjusted human being with a positive and healthy outlook on life.

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          No, the joke is that we were subjected to this horrendous book and the author got paid to write it.

          HA! *Dies from exposure to harsh, bitter reality.*

  • Rootfish

    That sure was wacky.

  • GraphicsAndBeer

    Has anyone said they should burn that book? +1 Burn the Book

  • Percy Gryce

    Congrats to RLM on Doc of the Dead. It featured two nice Plinkett segments–on the lack of common sense of horror-movie characters and on the slow vs. fast zombie debate. And Jack got a good 3 seconds of screen time.

  • Joe Syxpac

    Rich was crying because he knew Care Boars was about to start.

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      Gooble Gobble One of Us.

  • BCFC25

    Well it looks like you guys finally done it.

    You finally broke Rich Evans and now you will have to put him down and then go to the pound and rescue another Rich Evans!

    • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

      In the aaaarms of an angel…

      • Domo_Konnichiwa

        Far awaaaaaaaaay from heeeeere.

  • Andrey Tarkovsky Reference

    That’s not funny at all!

  • naah

    Um, excuse me, I have a question to ask.

    If Rich Evans were really having some sort of strange breakdown that Mike was determined to not let anyone see, don’t you think that whoever edited this video (Mike) would cut that segment out? It doesn’t make any god damn sense for something that the camera isn’t meant to record to be left in a finished and edited video on the internet.
    What is this, a Star Wars prequel? I fuck my cat?

    • LelouchtheFilial

      Edited? What are you talking about?
      This is entirely FOUND FOOTAGE. The Blair Rich Project.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        That would probably be the ultimate catharsis for The Blair Witch Project, especially that ending.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      What was that you said?… “doesn’t make any god damn sense”?

      http://i.minus.com/ibgTpCfyODEP0c.gif

    • Bag of Magic Food

      But Jay was even more determined to hang onto that footage.

      • Simple Jack

        Mike wanted to diminish the effects but Jay understood that the footage was stylistically designed to be that way.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    So, Mike loses it at blowjob jokes AND sexist jokes.

    I’m spotting a trend…

    • dollar store cashier wife

      too soon?

  • catnep

    That would have been great!

  • bb-15

    Beter_with Rich telling the jokes, Mike going WTF and_Rich going crazy at the end. Jessi laughing in the background also helped.

  • Tiffany Gerik

    I bought this very same book at a Scholastic Book Fair when I was maybe 12 years old. I read this book! OMG!

    • ident

      You were into Jovial Bob Stine before it was cool. Before he went all commercial and sold out to Big Jokes.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      And thus you’ve led a depressing life of chronic nonmedy ever since.

      • Tiffany Gerik

        Too much truth in this.

  • Pa Kent Says Maybe

    Hey, guys. Turn the heat up, wherever you are. That way, you don’t have to sit around in your jackets, looking Canadian.

    That. Or sweaters.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      I’m a Candandian and I approve this message.

  • Now I Get It

    We had the same book in Canada, only in one section the jokes were all on hockey – such as this one:
    HAROLD: Hey, Pud, why the strange pout?
    PUD: I just got back from ice fishing with Don Cherry and Blue, his dog.
    HAROLD: You look like you’ve been rimming snowman.
    PUD: I thought I was.
    Theft: 2
    Mart Crowley: 0

  • http://michael.burford.net Michael

    Is Rich wearing a life jacket??

    • ident

      No.

    • Simple Jack

      The dork thinks he’s gonna drown.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Never go full retard.

        • WrongWithYourFace

          He is Simple Jack.

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      It is it a life jacket?

  • Christian Leroux

    I don’t know if someone’s mentioned it, but I think that the movie-turkey joke has to do with Bowling, seeing as a Turkey is getting three strikes in a row. So I guess in this case the movie is striking because it’s bad, and when the guy goes “I could hardly sit through it the second time” it implies he’s seen it three times.

    I don’t know… these fucking jokes suck.

    • ident

      A bad movie is a a turkey (see The Golden Turkey Awards) so there is no need to reach any further. The bit is that he didn’t like the movie but he watched it twice. According to the Jack Packard Law of Comedy, humor is all about juxtaposition. You wouldn’t expect someone to watch a bad movie twice, hence lols.

  • Rick Rickerson

    Sure, his chest is warm, but what about Rich’s arms?

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Fuck you, Rick Ber… oh, wait, you’re Rick Rickerson.

      Cake or death?

  • Alan-Michael White

    I wanna see that Digimon Movie on something, or an animated Best of the Worst.

    • Thanatos2k

      Rich Evans Watches

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Are they gonna sell those in the next RLM Auction? I like keeping time on my wrist, especially with my holiness’s face on it.

        • Thanatos2k

          And at every hour the clock chimes are replaced by Rich Evans laughs at maximum volume.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            No, no, no! It needs to be like my parent’s clock, where a tune slowly plays at 15 minute intervals, and gets longer as the hour goes on.

    • WrongWithYourFace

      Looking at your avatar, it looks like you’re already on something… Now, where to get that Digimon…

  • TapewormBike

    My actually favourite joke I remember from being a kid:

    Snake is riding on a bike around. Badger sees him and yells at him:
    “Snake, dude! How can you ride a bike when you got no arms or legs?!” The snake thinks for a bit, then says “I see!” and falls off of the bike.
    After some time, the snake dusts off his knees, picks the bike up, throws it on his shoulders and walks away.

    • ident

      I don’t get it.

      • TapewormBike

        Then you got it:)

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Neither does the snake.

    • WrongWithYourFace

      Shouldn’t it be tapeworm instead of snake?

    • catnep

      This has been marinating in my brain like an Aesop fable.

    • Joe Syxpac

      What I can’t get my head around is how does the badger talk? And why is it a badger? Cuz badgers aren’t normally so helpful. Is that part of the joke? Also, how can the snake hear him? They don’t have ears!

      This joke has too many plot holes!

  • durhay

    I used to tell the “Born in France joke” when I was little. I didn’t know it was part of a trilogy.

  • ShadowACS

    That rhinoceros joke was by far one of the worst I’ve ever heard.

  • mcfoyle

    so why didnt you make Rich evans wear his ‘Dick the birthday boy’ shirt while he read these?

    • WrongWithYourFace

      I believe it was auctioned. Correct me if I’m wrong.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Correct me if I’m WrongWithYourFace*

        • WrongWithYourFace

          Am I?

      • LelouchtheFilial

        I remember at one point feeling shocked that Rich would give away such a prized possession, so I believe you’re right.

      • ident

        So Mike made him give the shirt back? What an asshole.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    I’m not sure where else to put this, so here seems appropriate. I hope you enjoy this new version of these classic jokes.

    http://youtu.be/CW8C5UvOVQ4

    • LelouchtheFilial

      You should feel responsible for this.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Sir Evans is the key to all this. He’s a Richer character than we’ve ever had before.

    • http://faddlechud.tumblr.com/ Faddlechud

      101 Wacky Kids Jokes, the Phantom Edit.

  • “B*tches, Leave”

    Dear redlettermedia team,
    Thank you so much for this video. I like all your videos and commentator tracks, but this video literally drove me a bit insane from laughter. I really cannot remember when was the last time I laughed that hard (and I don’t laugh much). By now I watched all your videos (except your movies), but I never commented. This time I felt the obligation that I need to write something since I could not stop laughing, had tears in my eyes and in my mind I was saying “wow, dude, are you okay?” :D

  • Aurini

    I love how “Rich Evans” is the only one who gets his full name used, and when you speak it, it sounds more like an honorific title than a name.

    • The Summer of George

      Rich Evans is the Charlie Brown of his generation.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Whoa… I never noticed how similar they looked before.

        • Rafe Ingvaldson

          Isn’t that the new poster that came out with the peanuts movie teaser?

  • bob665

    I have two cousins 4 and 12 and I honestly can’t imagine them laughing at any of
    these jokes. The book has to be targeted at parents who see 101 kid jokes and
    say this will keep them entertained. However much like best is the worst they’re
    so bad they become funny.

  • slat b

    According to Wikipedia, Jovial Bob Stine was an early pseudonym for R. L. Stein, who would go on to write the incredibly popular Goosebumps novels.

    • ident

      Noted already, but you got your timeline wrong. He published 101 Wacky Kid Jokes after he completed the original Goosebumps series.

      • slat b

        Oops. I loaded all the comments and searched for related keywords and didn’t find anything. My mistake.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    They say the camera adds ten pounds…

    So I’m sitting here trying to guess how many cameras Rich and Mike have eaten.

  • TapewormBike

    Very off topic , but the new Cap America is billed in Czech Republic with a sub-title : Return of the First Avenger, just saw it on a poster in subway. How I love czech promos.

  • sciencemile

    The title makes me think of “Wacky Game Jokez 4 Kidz!”. Also Eric from it has a bit of plinkett in his voice.

  • Dixon Bawls

    When”s the next “Rich Evans Cries”, ya fruity hacks?!

    • LelouchtheFilial

      That sounds like a cereal. “Fruity Hax.”

  • ThomasHFoolery

    The description under the video is the funniest thing about this video.

  • Disqustica

    What’s the soundtrack to intro of this video?

  • Zach LaChance

    Oh my god they have two copies of Digimon the movie!

    • WrongWithYourFace

      Anyone keeping count how many times this has been mentioned already?

      • LelouchtheFilial

        Hey, did you know that Jovial Bob Stein is really R.L. Stein of Goosebumps fame?

        • Thanatos2k

          Did you know that BOTH Rich Evans and Mike play Plinkett?

          • LelouchtheFilial

            Did you know “Fake” Plinkett was made before the “Real” one?
            Ow, my brain.

        • Cameron Vale

          He’s a funny guy.

    • fuckstick

      What are LaChances?

  • Yakov

    if they should ever run out of hunger game type cash grabs, hollywood should adapt these into a nonmedy series starring, directed, and produced by adam sandler.

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      I don’t think the world could handle that level of greatness.

  • Forbes

    Guys, never stop doing what you’re doing.

  • http://solo4357.blogspot.com/ Solo4357

    Wait… what?

  • Boehm

    god, even your “filler” content is great. Keep up the good work.

  • Veteran of the Psychic Wars

    Aw, poor Rich Evans

  • LelouchtheFilial

    You guys, I just came up with a joke that I’m both proud and ashamed of.

    *Ahem.*

    Why did the college student spend all night watching lesbian porn instead of writing his essay?

    Because SCISSORS BEATS PAPER!

    Thank you, thank you! I’m going to kill myself!

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      It’s an urban myth that lesbians paper each other.

      • LelouchtheFilial

        Ellen and Portia probably signed a marriage certificate, so they DO paper each other.
        It’s backwards of you to say otherwise!

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          I’m in the part of Candandia that never got the political correctness memo [because only 12 of us have electricity].

          • LelouchtheFilial

            I got my political correctness memo through a letter and a threatening look through my mail slot.

      • LelouchtheFilial

        Awww, shit… I forgot that Ellen Page came out, so I could have said, “Lesbians don’t paper each other, but they sure do Page each other.”
        That would have been clever.
        Fuck.

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          How could you forget that Ellen came out? She even has her own show… Ellen The Generous Show, where she gives out prizes to what looks like a crowd full of crazed, brain-dead zombies who probably have fork in the brain fork in the brain fork in the brain fork in the brain

          • LelouchtheFilial

            I actually ALWAYS knew that Ellen Page was a lesbian.
            Just because she had such good chemistry with Michael Cera in Juno.

          • WrongWithYourFace

            I always thought it was The Ellen Degenerate Show.

          • Dixon Bawls

            too soon

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Speaking of The Ellen DeGeneres Show, I was at my grandmother’s today and she was watching a re-run from a January episode. They were doing some game show thing where if you answer a question wrong you fall through the floor. One question was, “Which came first: Thanksgiving or Hanukkah?” The lady answered, “Uh… Thanksgiving?”

            My reaction was something along the lines of this:

          • LelouchtheFilial

            …really, now?

    • WrongWithYourFace

      Scissors rock?

  • NuGuy

    Truly heinous.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    Hey fellow RLM dorks! The new Plinkett review is up and it’s for Indianapolis Johnson and the Crimson Skeleton!

    Now we can finally get a new wave of comments asking for more Plinkett reviews…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zphhfHon_I

    • LelouchtheFilial

      I had things to do tonight, but whatever.

    • Meester Smeeth

      Finally! I been waiting for him to do Eerie Indiana and the Kinsman of the Christmas Skunk ever since George Loomis raped my childhoods.

  • LelouchtheFilial

    Like, what are THE chances.

    He was… he was doing a thing.

  • Ted

    Man, goosebumps author R.L. Stine sucks at comedy, maybe that’s why he published it as Jovial Bob Stine.

    • ident

      He had been using Jovial Bob Stine long before Goosebumps. He wrote the novelization of Spaceballs.

      • LelouchtheFilial

        I may get some flack for this, but I didn’t even like the movie version of Spaceballs.

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          I loved that movie as a kid, even though I hadn’t seen Star Wars. With the exception of 1 or 2 jokes, I understood all that was going on and thought it was funny.

          Watching it recently, I laughed at Daphne Zuniga’s “I hate guns” bit, as well as “Keep Firing, Assholes!” but everything else is I guess too literal for it to really be funny. It’s amusing, but not hysterical.

          • LelouchtheFilial

            Yeah… fair enough.
            I actually DIDN’T watch it as a kid. I just watched it last month. Yes… too literal to be funny, too META to be funny, and something about the way they accused Star Wars of being a cash grab while they, themselves, were cashing in on Star Wars by doing a (half-assed) parody of it rubbed me the wrong way.
            There are SO many other aspects of Star Wars to satirize than the merchandizing. And they didn’t, really.
            Maybe I wasn’t impressed by Spaceballs purely because I live in a post-Plinkett world.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            What other aspect of Star Wars would you have wanted them to ridicule? They made fun of Luke and Darth being related, the power of the force, the long opening shot, warp speed, Princess Leia’s hair, C-3PO’s uselessness, 2 heroes rescuing a princess, Hans junky ride. Chewbacca being a ” loyal friend”, something great diverting who the true master is, Luke not knowing he’s the key to everything, and possibly a few others.

            Not to say you’re wrong about stuff being too meta, or cashing in on a successful movie like The Wayans Bros. do. I still think it’s effective at what it sets out to do, though. Jokes have a set-up/payoff, even if it’s just a basic level.

            Do you not like Mel Brooks movies in general? I love Blazing Saddles, but RH: Men In Tights is kinda silly in the same way Spaceballs is.

          • LelouchtheFilial

            My issue is that they didn’t really have anything too poignant to say about the space adventure genre aside from “it’s good for making money.”
            I actually laughed at the long opening shot. I snickered at… what’s her name, Vespa’s headphones.
            But those were just throwaway gags. Nothing really stood out as being a smart commentary.
            In my personal opinion, I think the movie banked too much on subverting the audience’s expectations than using hyperbole or any clever irony.
            Is Dark Helmet tall and imposing like Darth Vader? Nope! He’s Rick Moranis! The whole “Darth Vader should be intimidating, but he’s really kind of feeble” joke felt too Chad Vader-esque (okay, not THAT bad.)
            Is Dark Helmet going to be Lone Star’s father? Nope! He’s his Father’s-brother’s-something-something roommate. It just felt to me like, when the writers were coming up with that joke, all they did was say, “Hey, remember how shocking it was that Darth Vader was Luke’s father and it was a real game-changer for the series? As a joke, let’s just do the opposite of that.”
            It felt so phoned-in, so forced (Hehe… ‘forced.’)
            And it’s NOT that I dislike Mel Brooks movies in general. I really liked Young Frankenstein. Maybe I was just disappointed because I expected better, but my visceral reactions from watching Spaceballs was just… joylessness.
            And the last Alien reference was fucking pointless. This felt less like a Mel Brooks movie and more like a Family Guy episode where they’re just lobbing references our way. Shit, Family Guy did a BETTER job parodying Star Wars, and that’s damning with faint praise.
            Agree to disagree.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            Can we agree that Airplane was a great parody? Pleaaaase?

          • LelouchtheFilial

            Yes, yes, yes. And Police Squad, as well.
            I should have said “No” to be contrarian, but I didn’t have it in my heart.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            You’re not doing this right. You were supposed to respond in some way using “Surely” to show what a movie nerd you were. Then we’d spend another 2 hours trying to out-nerd each other with movie catchphrases and classy gifs we found on the internet.

            I thought you were better than this.

          • LelouchtheFilial

            I’m… slipping…

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            Isn’t Red Lather Pedia the place to go to get pedicures while watching Night Court reruns?

          • LelouchtheFilial

            Ohhh… Ohhhhhhhhh…

        • ident

          You will, but not from me. And I’ll go you one better. I don’t like any Mel Brooks movie. They all have their moments, but, for the most part, not funny to me. I may just be antisemitic, though. I’ll get the tests back soon.

          • TapewormBike

            I always prefered Zuckers and Abrams as far as spoof movies go. Plus you have to respect their policy on casting potential wife killers.

          • LelouchtheFilial

            Plinkett does.

          • Ted

            I’d say young frankenstein was a good one, but can’t think of another brooks film I really like..

        • Duckler

          I knew it, I’m surrounded by assholes..!

          • LelouchtheFilial

            I’m not saying Spaceballs sucked, but it did blow.
            I kidd, I kidd.

      • Ted

        ooh, I think I miss took my copy of that for spaceballs the toilet paper..

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    You spelled ‘hack fraud’ wrong.

  • http://www.avclub.com/users/ebuzz-miller,65313/ E.Buzz Miller

    The Rich Evans-bot is broken!

  • Dixon Bawls

    Man. I had a dream last night where the internet didn’t exist yet, and RedLetterMedia only existed as a series of joke/movie review books. Me, Jay Bauman and Ron Swanson were the authors. Harry Plinkett and Mike Stoklasa were BOTH fictional characters, and Rich Evans was a maligned copy editor with no creative input. It was illustrated in the style of the “Animated Plinkett” series. An old girlfriend of mine and a ride-along with the COPS crew were involved at one point, and we were headquartered out of my Gramma’s basement here in Kansas City.

    God. Damn. Weird.

    • Jeremy Davis

      Rick Berman should make a movie based on your dream

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      An old girlfriend, eh? So, does this mean that you currently have so many girlfriends that you need to identify which ones you’re referring to by preceding them with identifying terms like ‘old’, ‘young’, ‘tall’, ‘manly’, etc?

      PS – That dream both rocks and is confusing.

      • Dixon Bawls

        Ummmm. Yeah, that’s exactly what that means.

        PS – Ron Swanson tackled a propane grill…

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          Bwaah! Thank angers Hank Hill.

  • Anonymous Coward

    Hey you talentless hacks, where’s our review of God’s not Dead?

    • Dr. Blake Downs

      If these fraud’s did that, I hope Rich Evans would be involved in the review. If they opt not to pay money to see it, at least they should produce a Rich Evans watches, “God’s not Dead Full Trailer”.

  • Duckler

    Rich Evans: the Stay-put Marshmallow Man.

    • Dixon Bawls

      !!!

    • Mitchell Taco Nash

      Stay-put?

      Is that a joke? Am I missing something or are you missing something?

      • Duckler

        That was the joke. Yes. indeed it was.

        • Mitchell Taco Nash

          As you being sarcastic? Why can’t I find Deathlist? Sir… SIR!

          Do you have Deathlist?

  • WrongWithYourFace

    Thank you for your contribution!

    • LelouchtheFilial

      That’ll be all.

  • Robert Fitl

    Where’d you guys go?

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      They’re getting the band back together.

      Give them four fried chickens and a coke, maybe a saxophone solo; Space Cop will then be complete.

      • GeneralGrievance

        They can’t get the band back together…Mike stole Jay’s guitar so he could buy drugs

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          That’s a lot of crack.

          Well, at least it wasn’t the squeezebox. Every successful band uses a squeezebox.

  • TJ

    I in no way have some false sense of entitlement, but it is my birthday and I would like a new Red Letter Media video.

    • Duckler

      Everything you say before the word “but” is always invalidated, although I too share your sentiment. And happy sun-voyage.

      • Dr. Blake Downs

        Not necessarily. Ex: The sprinter is fast, but he could win by more if he trained.

        • TJ

          Here is a tricky one: You’re adopted, but I love you.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            That’s just passive aggressive Mom-speak.

            “You’re an idiot, but I love you.”

            “You’ve drained me of my entire retirement fund, but I love you.”

            “I pass out drunk every night because I worry sick about you and regret the day you were born, but I love you.”

            Happy Birthday, but really where’s the cake?

      • ident

        “I tried to make it on time, but I didn’t.” So is my effort invalidated?

  • LelouchtheFilial

    It’s probably because they’re actually friends.
    Siskel and Ebert supposedly didn’t hang out much outside of their jobs.
    Or so they say.

  • ident

    Also, they’re the editors.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I envision weekly mud wrestling matches to settle any disputes they may have. More people should do it.

  • Fred Frink

    Wherefore art thou hacks silent? Has mischievous felines stolen thine tongues?
    More derogatory tripe, posthaste.

  • Archie Bunker

    Completely off-topic but I wonder if you hack-frauds would ever consider setting up a bitcoin wallet for donations? Not all of us feel comfortable giving up our personal information to PayPal.. I have a few mBTC that I’m just itching to throw at someone… anyone!

    • Thanatos2k

      They want actual money, not hopes and dreams.

      • Archie Bunker

        And U.S.$ fiat is “actual” money how, exactly?

        • Thanatos2k

          It’s backed by a government, not internet memes.

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            “They want actual money, not hopes and dreams,
            It’s backed by a government, not internet memes.”

            MC Thanatos2k is here all week, folks!

        • Thanatos2k

          By the way, the IRS has now officially deemed crypto currency “property,” not money. It’s similar to how a stock has value, but is not money.

          So you’re basically saying, “Instead of us sending you money, can we send you 15 shares of some company’s stock?”

          How much of a pain in the ass would that be? Just send them money.

    • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

      Bitcoins are all coated in creepy human residues.

  • http://flesheatingbug.deviantart.com/ Som

    completely completely off topic, have ye seen the turtles trailer. It’s baaaaaaadddddd.

    • TapewormBike

      Cowabu…what the fuck!?

    • WrongWithYourFace

      Been waiting for Mitchell’s reaction for a while now.

      • Mitchell Taco Nash

        Oh, it’s been posted. I re-watch my videos before uploading them and I didn’t realize how emotionless my face was while watching the trailer. I said, “That didn’t look nearly as bad as I was expecting it to look” and “ehh… it was alright”, pretty much damning it with false praise.

        Honestly, I was expecting it to look really stupid, but it was just sorta alright, which might even be worse because it hardly elicited a reaction from me and I might not even get enjoyment out of it being a guilty pleasure.

        • WrongWithYourFace

          Yea, I saw it. It was pretty hard to get an idea of what it’s like, other than Teenage Mutant Ninja Shrek. They didn’t really look that teenage, either. I think I’ll stick with the cheesy 90′s version.

          I was told you look like you’re wearing a Groucho mask… I dunno, you be the judge.

          http://i.minus.com/jPuilP4puFiTe.png

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Oh no…

        • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

          Haha, I think I had randomly stumbled across your react-to this video on Youtube. I knew such tacos could not be coincidental!

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            I’ve got a little over 100 videos on that channel now. I’ve been trying to pull away from reaction videos more recently; it’s somewhat of an eclectic mix of videos. Most are goofy, a few are more serious.

            I guess I somewhat have made ‘taco’ my brand/name even though I rarely eat tacos.

    • Archie Bunker

      Oh, geeze. Just drown me in mutagen and be done with it already!

      • KonradZell

        A twin! I always knew someone like you existed! This makes me so happy… “sniffle, sniffle”

        • Archie Bunker

          Darn! Looks like I’m going to have to switch to my owl mask…

          • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

            Twins. *rubs chin thoughtfully* I’m sensing a sexy-threesome in our future!
            (giggity…)

    • Duckler

      Ohhhhhh… god is that awful.

      • TapewormBike

        I mean, you could very easily just replace the turtles with Autobots. Or masturbate to pictures of Megan Fox. Whichever floats your boat.

        • WrongWithYourFace

          Is Megan’s fox hole in this one, as well? I’m sorry but I don’t know what it looks like. They all look the same.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            Some fox holes are in forests. Some fox holes are in plains.

          • WrongWithYourFace

            Noted. So which one is this one? Oh, and I guess my previous comment contradicted itself. Oh, well.

            Ps. Yesh! I finally got to the all-stars board!

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            Yay!

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Welcome to the Wall of Shame.

          • WrongWithYourFace

            Oh, that’s what it is? God dammit! How do I get rid of these posts?

          • Mitchell Taco Nash

            Step 1: Get fork.
            Step 2: Put fork in brain.
            Step 3: Repeat.

          • Alex Lee

            I prefer the ones in the plains. Easier to navigate.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            Easier for the birds and the beads, too.

        • Alex Lee

          I actually feel bad for Megan Fox. The only way she can be in a feature film is to work with Michael Bay, who is clearly eye humping her every chance he gets (and who knows what else). Not only that, but I can’t think of any movie that she’s in where she was actually an actress.

          She’s in the very definition of a rut.

    • http://hardycases.com/ Hale

      …Y’know, I gotta admit, that bit with Mikey and April at the end was….kinda cute. I actually chuckled a bit.

      Although I’d probably have liked it more if he looked like a turtle and not Samurai Shrek.

      • WrongWithYourFace

        I had the exact same thought about Shrek when I saw the trailer.

        • http://hardycases.com/ Hale

          DONKEH, GIT OUT O’ ME SEWAR!

      • Domo_Konnichiwa

        Do you think the turtles are a weird color green? Don’t want to nitpick, but they almost look yellow in certain shots.

        • http://hardycases.com/ Hale

          That could just be the lighting in certain shots. Though I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re colored a “realistic” puke-brown-green. Because, you know, vibrant colors don’t exist in real life.

          …Donkeh.

      • ident

        If there is one change to the characters I would welcome with open arms, it’s getting rid of the masks. Make them into hachimaki-style head bands. Even as a kid I didn’t understand the masks. They’re giant fucking turtles.

        • Baramos x

          Cause…ninjas.

          • ident

            So when someone gives a description of a Ninja Turtle to the police do you think it will be “they were wearing ninja masks so I don’t know who they were” or “Oh my god, they were 6 foot tall turtles, there is no god, call the mother fucking marines and comb the sewers until every last one of these abominations is dead”?

          • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

            You forgot the standard queries about whether you can have sex with them. That’s imperative for all humanoid species and robots.

      • Thanatos2k

        “Who would most likely be some terrible looking generic CGI piece of crap.” -Plinkett

        • http://hardycases.com/ Hale

          DONNNNKEEEHHHH…

          • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

            What is wrong with his FAAAAAAACE?

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      So they took the sound effects from Transformers, the disaster porn from Transformers, and made the main characters not really visible during action shots, like Transformers?

      He should have just made another Indie film.

      • elgatoblanco

        my friend sent me the video and before I watched it, I told him that I bet that they were going to try and rip off The Dark Knight again. and sure enough…

        • Domo_Konnichiwa

          What parts did you feel were Dark Knight-ish? All I saw was a Transformer movie with turtles. Maybe the Megan Fox shots of her looking bewildered…

          • elgatoblanco

            the music, the athmosphere, shots of a city in chaos, and William Fichtner’s monologue. at least visually it looked like you could just swap out the CGI turtles with Batman and have a Dark Knight remake.

    • Jason

      I wonder which Michael has raped more childhoods: Bay or Jackson?

    • Baramos x

      I had more of a “meh” reaction to it. I can safely ignore it now, as it merely looks stupid, instead of really really terrible.

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    Stoklasa’s new beer of choice?

    • ident

      It better have blood in it.

      • Domo_Konnichiwa

        A true warrior drinks out of the skulls of their enemies, not some silly beer can.

        • ident

          But…that’s super unsanitary.

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            It boosts your immune system. No Klingon death ritual in your near future. Honest!

  • Dustin Dye

    A quick Google search revealed the book’s writer, “Jovial Bob Stine,” is actually R.L. Stine. He must’ve taken a break from cranking out Goosebumps books to crank out a joke book.

    • Ledechev

      Wow, that totally hasn’t been mentioned before in one of the other 446 comments.

      • Baramos x

        Did you know that the author of 101 Wacky Kid Jokes is actually R.L. Stine?

    • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

      He should have gone with Bob Laughmeister Stine.

  • Ledechev

    I’m visiting rlm.com every 5 minutes now. It may be possible that 2 new episodes of half in the bag are already done + 3 best of the worst episodes but these hacks are just enjoying all the extra pageviews they get from us. I don’t know about you, but i’m frantically F5-ing for new content.

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      The first thing I do when I get up in the morning is check this website. It’s incredibly pitiful.

    • Baramos x

      I’ve been biding my time rewatching the Prometheus video.

      “What if it involved a gangbang?”

  • Martin the Warrior

    This must be the calm before the Plinkett Review….right?

    • ident

      The only reasonable explanation.

    • RisingZan

      I would guess there’s some work going into Space Cop, also.

      • ident

        Stop drinking the Kool-Aid. There is no Space Cop, it’s just a tax shelter. Every year they film a couple of scenes and report a huge loss on their 1040.

  • Mitchell Taco Nash

    No “Rich Reacts To” Teenage Mutant Ninja Toy-Tulls yet?

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      Turtles might be a fetish for him. You never know.

  • Wildo

    Remember when there use to be a new video once a week? The glory days…

  • Domo_Konnichiwa

    I’m blaming Percy Gryce for why we don’t have a RLM video. They were gonna make something nice for all of us, but made a video for his kidney stone instead.

  • Fred Frink

    What are you doing to us? Do you realise how many Fast & Furiouses & Grown Upses have been released since your last video?
    I now have no choice but to rent ‘The Fockers Christmas Special: How To Lose A Guy & 100 Things I Know You Did Last Summer In Vegas 3′

    • Brant_Alan

      I really enjoy the variety myself. I think these are quite amusing.

    • Jennifer Elise Bunnell

      I will enjoy the term “Grown Upses” for the next several hours, while I do my morning chores. ^^

  • Baramos x

    Bob: I’m sure glad I didn’t live a hundred years ago.

    Ray: Why?

    Bob: I’d be dead by now.

  • Baramos x

    Mom: Billy, did you take a bath?

    Billy: Why, is there one missing?

  • agianagain

    Aborted fetus: “I’m glad I wasn’t born in France”

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